Why My Mom Was Actually Right About Everything

The asked her if I could shave my eyebrows and she said no. Immediately shave off way too much. So then I said, I'm gonna cut my bangs, she'll never notice. It keeps getting worse. Immediately walk in the house, she goes, what did you do? My mom told me not to date this guy and he cheated on me with his cousin. Harley, are you okay? My mom is incredibly servant-hearted. It's just like the way that she always steps in. Especially when these moments when you really need your mom. That's her legacy that I wanna pass on to my kids. Welcome back to Always Here. We're your hosts, Abby Howard. And Abby Howard. And we are here to share the hope in the heart. With heart and humor. As always. Yeah. How we doing? Actually great. Remember when CJ's beloved cow, he has a little warmest stuffed animal. Yes. That's beloved in our house. And he's loved it for maybe a year and a half. Well, the warm is the first time I didn't realize that you can't wash this in the washing machine. It just produces the most intense putrid mold smell that engulfs your entire house. Cause it's filled with something. Yeah, it's filled with lavender and flaxseed. And so I got stuff on it. Maybe you cooked them. No, I put it in the washing machine. And so then it gets wet and moldy. Yeah, and the mold, like it just never dries out inside. So I ruined his first one. This was like a year ago. And I told CJ that cow was on vacation. What cow is now on another vacation? What happened to cow? Well, CJ had a diaper accident and he got on cow. So. Poop? Yeah. I know. It was, it was. How on cow? I know. It was a dark day, but thankfully Caleb was home, not me. So I didn't have to deal with it. Oh. Too badly, but yeah, poor cows on another vacation. So I'm trying to decide. I made a whole video last time. We made a PowerPoint and I said, cow is in New York. And they don't like, you've traveled the whole world. Cause it takes a little bit for shipping. You need a budget set aside for cows. Yeah. I, we love the warmies. And from that video, it got a lot of views. So we have like a good relationship with warmies now. But I did buy his new cow. It's like $20 a cow. And people are like, buy multiple, buy multiple. So what do we think? Yeah. Made money. Spends $100 on cows just to put in the closet. I just bought one, but. I think it does pose a question of how long do you go? I, people don't ever wash their beloved childhood blankets and stuffed animals because they love the smell. I thought you were going somewhere different with that question. Oh, sorry. Like how long do you keep a stuffed animal? Some people. Oh, no, I know my friends keep it from ever. And they don't wash them cause they love the smell. The smell is comforting and nostalgic. So CJ's cow, it was mangley and just disgusting. So what's the line of when you're like, we just have to replace it. You know, I actually have no memory of washing any of my stuffed animals. So maybe I just don't worry about it. Well, you know, my kids are not attached to anything stuffed animal like. We've tried. We've tried. I really would like to replace Pinky's update. This is huge. Just wait, there's a follow up. Okay. I was waiting for this. It's been two days. I almost texted you and I was like, I'm sure she'll tell on the pod. So the other day, our oldest son runs into our bedroom at 10 30 PM, which is no surprise because I've had time to never really, it's like a one and done thing. Sure. It's like multiple trips, the whole process. The school is. And so he runs in and he'd been in his room for like a couple hours at this point. Like we hadn't seen him emerge. And he has all of his beanies. He just, which should have been gone a long time ago. And it's been attempted many times. One time they were gone for six months. Yeah. Came back. We needed to sleep again. I needed to sleep without my three year old right next to me. And so that was when he was actually two and a half. Wow. It's been a year. So after all of this back and forth, he just dumps all the beanies in Matt's lap. And he's like, I'm ready to get rid of these. I want to give these to babies. Oh, he's so grown up. And we're like, what? Oh my goodness. Like what in the world? And we're like, okay. He runs back to bed, comes back a minute later with one more binky and he gives it back to Matt and then runs back in his room and goes back to sleep the rest of the night. We didn't see him. He didn't even come in our room. He normally comes in our room. Wow, that's huge. We're like, oh my gosh, this feels huge. Like this is big time. And then in my head, I'm like, my whole, oh look, I'm parenting has changed. I'm just going to wait for the child to tell me when they're ready for transitions. Follow up night. But I'm in bed. And we're like, okay. Night night. We're like, try to leave. And then he's like, but where's my binkies? And I'm like, oh, well, I think you gave them to the babies. Like, remember? Yeah. He's like, no, but I want them. And we're like, no, but you can like go back and forth for so long. Yeah. Then Matt goes, he comes back in the room and he has one. He goes, I'm giving it back. And I was like, honestly, frick. Like, we're so close. I was so proud of him too. I literally announced it to you guys, announced it to all my friends. I told everybody in the world and everyone on this podcast. Well, maybe it'll be like a back and forth thing. I do think he might be. Because he does keep talking now more about big boy things and like baby things. And he's kind of starting to separate the two in his mind. Totally. Eventually they will be gone. But I did have a heart to heart with his dentist. And I was like, hey, just tell it to him straight. I love like direct honesty with them. I'm like, you can't drink this because it has alcohol. You can't just have this caffeine. And so, but like we were like usually very honest with them. I'm like, hey, you have full permission to tell him that his teeth are going to get messed up. And he goes, I will tell him that. He goes, but also he goes, the worst thing that can happen is that he'll need braces. And I put braces on like 80% of the kids that come in here. It's so true. Okay, well, that's kind of comforting with a mom. That was comforting to me. But then I was like, but tell him that his teeth will get messed up. And he was in the grip and he's like, yeah, my teeth will get messed up. He's like, it's going to happen eventually. Does their palate go back no matter what? I don't think it actually, our dentist didn't seem to think that was a big issue. Like the jaw on the palate. Good. Unless maybe they literally never, they only use it at night when they sleep. Right. But I don't know. He didn't mention that. Cause I was like, I was worried about the development. He's like, no. Yeah. Okay, well we'll trust the professionals. Yeah, I was like, I love the professionals. We're never leaving this dentist. He's telling me that we love you dentists. We're seeing you through this. It's just so wrong. I'm like, I used to see this huge kid and he's just like, I'm like, he'll get there. He's already getting there. It'll be probably a traditional thing. You know, I'm not, here's what I'm not doing. I'm not sleeping for six months. Yeah, right. That's what I'm not doing. Anyway, it'll be good. It'll be fine. This past weekend was really fun. Yeah. And the whole like our side of the family went to flag staff. It's literally just a two hour drive. There's snow in the mountains. It was warm. Like apparently the weekend before they got like two feet of snow. And our weekend was like very warm. So it all melted and then got icy or what? I wore a coat when we went skiing but I didn't really need it. I took off my, I had leggings and then my snow pants and then I had a T-shirt, a jacket and then my coat. I took off all the under layers and just had the top layer so I wouldn't get wet. Honestly, amazing. That was super weird. It was like short sleeve shirts going down. But the conditions weren't great. I would have seen more on you. No, they weren't that, they were like really slushy at the bottom but we went at the start of the day so it was still cold. Yeah. And it was good but near the end of the day it was getting a little warmer at the bottom. Yeah, interesting. But it was really fun. I have only gone skiing one time before that and so it was good to go back in again. I love doing it. You ski, not snowboarded. Yeah, we ski. Blake and I ski, you guys snowboard but I'm not very good at it at all. Yeah. But it was fun. I took the motto from the Howard's of, Howard's You Hard Things and I, Blake made me go on a blue and I was like, okay, sure, let's do it. I get up there, I look down and I'm like, how am I getting down? Can I go back down? I know. By the way, and I got up there and I was like, I can do hard things, I can do hard things, I can do hard things. And then I started singing it. I was like, I can do hard things. I can do hard things. That's amazing. You're a nail timer. Really the whole way down. We're really just preaching to ourselves, not our kids. We do our things. Seriously. I wish I was joking, I'm really not joking. No, it's great. I love that. I love that. It was fun. Skiing is scary. I've never seen you ski. Yeah, I haven't done it since college. I want to go back, but I know you just have to, the initial fear is there. It never sounds fun. Like when you wake up in the morning and you're like, why did we pay this money to do this? Why did we do all the hassle? But then you're like going down the mountain and you're like, this is actually fun. I'm glad I did this. It's so fun and so beautiful. You ski. I ski. I want to learn how to snowboard. Full well-knowing, I would be not okay with that. I'm scared to skateboard. I don't like being sideways like that. I like seeing straightforward where I'm going. I also just have my two fears in life are speed and heights. So skiing is high up and fast. So I just, I'm like, but I want to get over that. I want to conquer those things. I went on the Ferris wheel at Shields with CJ and I was like, every time he moved, I was like, hey, so you just sit down. It's like, get a department store, Ferris wheel. That's true about you. I think we're all this way, but you were like really chill about most things. But then there's a few things that you're like really not chill about. Yeah. I feel like that's everybody. Caleb was like, what's wrong with you? He's like, you kept squirming and looking all weird. I was a little nervous. Because that's ridiculous. I'm like, give me some grace. Okay, I was scared. And yeah, heights and speed. I just don't like feeling out of control of my body. Oh yeah. Yeah, and that'll do it. But I will go. I will go skiing. My confession is that when Matt taught me how to snowboard, I said a lot of bad words. Under your breath. That was like, oh my God. And then I started crying because I was hurting so bad and then my tears started to get frozen to my face because we did, I learned at night skiing, pitch blackout, really cold. And my butt hurt so bad because I have a weird tailbone. And I thought I broke it. And so then Matt got me a middle school boys football girdle to wear. Did it help? Yeah. That's actually a great solution. I still have it and I still wear it sometimes. Well, I don't really fall anymore. Sometimes just right around the house. I actually, you were right. Every time you walked down the steps. No, I should honestly. But no, I don't really wear it actually anymore when I snowboard. I haven't fallen that much. Recent attempts down the mountain. The last time I skied, it was in college. It was on my girlfriend. So I've never actually learned how to ski. It was just like, get on your skis and go. Oh, you didn't do it as a kid. I did once, but it was so long ago that, you know, it doesn't really count. I feel like with skiing, you can just go. Yeah. Even if it's like. You just need a pizza and learn how to cut and stuff. But they were like, at the end of the day, let's do a blue, got up there. I had no skill. Start going down. It was freezing. It started snowing really hard and the snow turned to ice. And then I remember I fell and I couldn't get back up. Every time I stood up, I kept falling. Finally got up, was backwards. So I'd going on the mountain backwards. I was full on panic attack, crying to like the tears were frozen in my goggles. And that was the last time. That was the last time. So I would have to go again. We had no redemption. I would love to go and redeem that. Matt took Griffin because he was like, if he's going to learn, he needs to learn when he's little. He's close to the ground, has no fear. And it just becomes second nature. So it was really cute. The videos were adorable. And the fact that my mom and my grandma, who was like almost 80, walked down that mountain just so they could watch him do two runs on the bunny hill. They're like, what? Yeah. So sweet. And Matt is literally just holding him down. So sweet. I was like, wow, the family support is strong. I feel like there's been a switch in my, maybe we just talked about this in the call. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, there has been a switch with me after pregnancy, where I'm like, I want to conquer my fears. I want to do hard things again. And everything that I was scared of before, I feel like I have free will. I want to take skiing lessons. I want to take tennis lessons. I want to do all these things that I'm bad at and get good and I just want to face them head on. Let's do tennis lessons. I would love to do tennis lessons. I feel like I would be terrible. Wait, we should do a segment where we talk about how we want to use our free will and things that we want to do. That just seemed a little out of pocket. Yeah, I used my free will the other day and I went on a walk to get myself a little treat and then I walked back and I was like, wow. That was amazing. That's always been an option. Never took me like that. Life is crazy nowadays. I was by myself for an hour and a half. It was crazy. It's great. It's great. Speaking of crazy, should we do wow that's crazy? Let's do it. Yes, I don't know what it is. Wow, that's crazy. Wow, that's crazy. That's crazy. It's not that crazy. I actually think this is more interesting and kind of a fun one. So for the first time in 90 years since the Great Depression, more US citizens have left America than come in. Wait, more citizens have left America than come in. Wow. Yes, and I actually, I was thinking about this because I know four girls that live abroad. Okay. Yeah, like they've met men, men, they've met significant others and live abroad. Cool. And so I was like, wait, I actually know a lot of people that don't live here anymore and have like far gone there. They probably keep their citizenship, but I just thought it was really interesting. I don't think you can, can you lose your citizenship? No. Yeah, if you're born here, you're like, Yeah, well, I don't know. We should back check that. But isn't that interesting? That is interesting. The first time in 90 years. I think it's because they hate the president. I don't know. I would kind of look up some of the reasons. I mean, I'm sure some people probably, but most of the reasons listed where cost of living is really high in America. And it's like, okay, I looked up on just Italy, for example. Italy is 30 to 70% cheaper cost of living than America. So if you can live somewhere else, cheaper. Also a lot of people work remote. There's more hybrid work options. And also just opportunity. I feel like it's just easier to go abroad in this day and age than it was in the past. That sounds, that feels overwhelming to me. To go live abroad. Even the thought of like buying property somewhere else. Like we have friends that bought property in Mexico and I'm like, that, how'd you even do that? How'd you even go about that? That's so true. So it says you don't lose your citizenship unless you voluntarily renounce it. So then you also don't have to pay taxes and stuff in two different countries. Hmm, that's interesting. Did you know that if you work in a different country, you still have to pay American taxes if you're a citizen? Yeah. So even if you live in a different country and you have a job there, you still have to pay income tax to America. I didn't know that. I knew why people would renounce that they, their citizenship for, Pause it I guess. That's when Caleb told me that, I was like, wait, that's really interesting. You pause your subscription to America. Yeah, we pause your subscription pause. I was like, I don't know. Feels like, Yeah, just pause it. They're like, are you sure you want to cancel? Go to your email to confirm your kids' location. You can also lose it if you commit an act of treason against the US. I see that one makes probably a lot of sense. Yeah. What counts as treason also? It sounds so, If you serve in the armed forces of a foreign state engaged in hostilities against the US. Oh, well, yeah, that would be, I don't have a possibility of that. I'm not in the military. So I don't have a possibility of that. You also cannot renounce the citizenship of your child. That makes sense. Yeah, that shouldn't be it. I think that's appropriate. You make a lot of decisions for your children, but you shouldn't be able to probably make that one. Yeah. Yeah, so that's the, well, that's crazy fact. That is a fun fact. Yeah. Would you live abroad ever? Would I live abroad? Yes, would I move permanently? I don't think that would happen. Yeah. I don't even, I just, yeah, we're really close with our whole family. Like I just would, it would be really hard to leave. I feel like the people doing that probably, my guess is that they're not as close with their family. I don't know. The ones that I, the girls that I know from college and high school that I'll live abroad are close with their families. How could you be super? Well, their significant others are from these other countries. They just call a lot. I don't know. Honestly, I feel like they travel a lot based off of their social media and stuff, but yeah, I just, I would definitely would. I think it'd be really cool. I don't think it ever permanently move. Oh yeah. Yeah, no, but I would love to go, I mean, everyone has a dream to like live in Italy for a couple months and. Yeah, a couple months. Yeah. Or even a year. Like that would, I just don't see myself permanently. I love America. Where are the places that you would move? Domestically or abroad? Like, I would love to live in New York City for just one year. See, for me, I would like New York City for one summer. Oh, like a super long. I don't think I could do it for a super long. Gosh, I always say, I like, everyone loves Nashville. I feel like everyone's moving to Nashville. I could, when we've, we spent a month there and I was like, I could see myself like living here. If one day like our whole family moved, like I'd be like, oh yeah, sick, I'm in. Yeah. Um, yeah, I could see myself living there. I have no desire to move. If I moved anywhere, I'd go back home. No, honestly, I'm like not a travel person. I don't want to live abroad. I don't want to, I don't know. I'm just really stuck in my routine and my schedule and my home that I would, it would really throw me off to like go and be in a different place. I'm not super adaptable. I've realized. I feel like you are though. I feel like your move here, you've made friends, joined community. I feel like it's been, it's like, it's a really good job. But I feel like that was very like a thought out decision of like, are we going to move here? Are we going to do that? Like knowing there's family and friends. Like you had to like be in touch with that. I had to be intentional about moving here. I would never move somewhere if there wasn't like family or a reason to be there. I don't think I would just do it for fun. I don't think that would be fun. Well, I feel like that's for me, that's the purpose of travel. Like I'm like, I just, Yeah. I feel like that doesn't really count as moving if it's for like a temporary thing. Sure. You know. Yeah. I couldn't think of any other city besides Phoenix that I would want to live in domestically. And then the other place that I've been just great for traveling or spending extended time in. So yeah, I don't only see us moving. Nashville feels like home in a way that's weird because I've never lived there. Like it is, I'm thinking of Franklin specifically. I feel like it from what I'm sounds like, it does sound like a hybrid of the fast paced kind of opportunity feel of the West with the cozy Midwest charm. It really feels Midwest. Not, it doesn't feel Southern in my opinion. Yeah. I would consider that Midwest to me. Well, if you go to Memphis, now that feels Southern and they're like not that far apart. Well, I say if you go to Springfield it's Southern, but Missouri itself is not the South. It's not their fake Southern. I would, I think Missouri is the Midwest, but that is a hot debate on my Instagram. You're kidding. I think it's the South. Yes. What? Yes. Isn't that interesting? The South would be appalled by that. I think so too. I feel like we're the most Midwest that you could get. Yeah, seriously. As middle of the country. Yeah. Besides Kansas, they only live in the middle. I guess we're not really that far West. We're kind of just Midwest. Midwest is a weird name for it, but yeah. People really think Missouri's the South. Wow. So we all disagree. That's not true. Wow, that's crazy. That is crazy. That is crazy. Thank you to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Did you know that sleeping in a cooler environment offers several scientifically supported benefits that enhance sleep quality and overall health? I believe that. Actually, I do too. When it's hot, I'm like. I ain't sleeping. Not rested. Uh-uh. And that's what Cozy Earth's whole design is based on because their bamboo sheets are temperature regulating, guaranteed to give you a comfortable night's sleep every single night. Cozy Earth's sheets are made from viscose from bamboo. They naturally wick away heat and moisture from your body, helping you sleep several degrees cooler, which is really convenient because we live in the desert. Yeah, I actually needed to be cooler often. They offer a 100 night sleep trial so you can try them for yourself. 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Experience the craft behind the comfort and make every day feel intentional. There is another one. Addy's going to leave this one off because I don't know anything about it. Another crazy thing. Another wow that's crazy that we've actually talked about before, but you could never find exactly what you were trying to talk about. Hunter Primo, if that's how you say her last name. Oh, she's from Nashville. Posted about her megabed. Oh, yes. I followed that journey. And it just has 2.1 million views on TikTok. She posted it a couple days ago. So I put the TikTok in there. And she talks all about it to explain to people about her megabed. And it is the Alaskan king bed. Yeah. It's called an Alaskan king bed? Yes. I followed her and I saw this on Instagram. Wait, let me see it. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. [?]. So wait, what were the dimensions of the bed? She said it's 10 feet by 108 inches long or 180 inches long. I don't know. I can't fathom that many inches. I can't fathom that many inches. Either by no, it's probably bigger. We have a king bed in our room when I can't walk. So I'm just like, wow, that's impressive. So the original, did she say she has the biggie? The biggie small. She has the biggie, OK, the biggie. How much is it? Biggie junior, that's right. I bet it's very expensive. I can tell you. But it's 120 inches by 108 inches. OK, wow. 10 feet by 108 inches. How much that costs? I'm going to say, what, the bed? The mattress. For the mattress? I'm going to say 3,000. 3,000? Oh, it's around 3,700. Yeah. Boom, baby. But that's $1,000 off. So the full price is $4,700. Wow. But then you have the bedding and the sheets. It's custom. Well, the actual bed, too. Because the bed frame. What is the bed frame? Do you want a pollster? Leather? She had a pollster. OK, a pollster? I think. Yeah, I think so. It was beautiful. Depends on what you want. The cheapest option is a platform. And it's 1,900. Wow. An alpine is 4,800. Yeah, nothing is. There's a bunch of different designs, but they range up to $12,000. Yeah. Oh my god. It feels like custom. Totally. It's kind of custom. I feel like NBA players needing beds like this. You know, really massive football players. And then mothers that love to sleep with other children. Yeah. I get it. Wait, why is this crazy? I think it's just crazy because there's a lot of different opinions on having it. Oh, the co-sleeping. Co-sleeping, like getting a big bed. The most liked comment on this is, do you not like your husband? Even though the husband said he prefers it. I honestly feel that when Kilbaugh switched from a queen to a king, I felt isolated on a little island. In the king? Because you know when a queen, we were always armed to arm. Because we're both large people. Like, I'm tall and he's a big dude. So we were neck and neck. And now when it came back, I'm like, where did he go? Who is he yet? This was my thing. I'm like, when you're asleep, how much quality time are you getting together? I guess more than I assumed. No, you're not really getting any quality. You're asleep. Yeah, but I was getting a lot of physical touch. Nonsense physical touch. Like, when you're asleep. Blake does not want physical touch while we're sleeping. I sleep like this. Like, woke on top of me the other night while he was asleep. Blake is a really weird secret. I mean, I don't know. He's like, Blake, he's like, what? I'm like, you're on top of me. Hello. But is it filling your cup because you're asleep? Yeah, I think because he's gone all day, I love to touch him at night. OK. I'm a clingy wife, but it's OK. It's OK. We're isolated now. No, my thing is I'm like, I feel like I used to think that. I'm like, but actually when you really think about it, for me, I was unconscious. Like, I'm done. I go to bed, I don't wake up. Sure. Like, I'm like, so it wasn't like, oh, that was not really necessarily bonding us just to sleep in the same bed, which we do sleep in the same bed. And our son does sleep with us, but not in the bed with us. I don't think it's co-sleeping if your bed's that big, to be honest. It's like, you have a lot of space. You're not even near each other. You're on a different planet than that bed. You're not touching each other. And then you have the dogs on the bed too. Yeah, I think they're fine. So when he says a developmental psychologist here, children will eventually want to sleep independently. Co-sleeping with children, if they need it, provide security. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not doing it, but I don't have an opinion really. Well, I don't think anyone really should have an opinion on how other people sleep. Yeah, I'm like, whatever. Like, what works for you guys is great. Yeah, no, I would actually, at one point, Matt and I were like, we need to just get a bigger bed. But we also really like falling asleep together because of intimacy. Right. So then we let him come in once his little hatch light is a certain color. We can have free access to our bedroom. No, of course not. That was a funny part about this weekend in Flagstaff is that you guys brought the hatch. And so we're all there. We're staying up late, things like that. And so Blake's downstairs, and he's still awake. Matt and Abby have already gone upstairs there in their room. And Blake looks over and sees Griffin's head outside it, just looking down from the stairs. And he's like, buddy, are you supposed to be awake? He goes, yeah, I can go in my parents' room. The lights, the lights blue. Blake doesn't know this. So he's like, are you sure? Like, are you sure you're allowed to go in there? He goes, yeah, the lights, the lights blue. Every night. He starts to open the door and Blake's like, I don't know. I don't, he goes, go downstairs, Coco. Oh my gosh, he's like, it's fine. He's like, his light turns blue at 11.30. Oh, that was sweet. Yeah, I can totally see the appeal. Your kids, like everyone just, for some families, at least for us, like everyone just slept so much better. And I'm like, you know what? At the end of the day, I just wanna sleep. And so like that was like the way it was happening. And I can see, but I can see kids being very different. Like my second, there's just not a world where he would be able to sleep in the same bed as us. He doesn't even understand the concept of it. Like one time he woke up really early and we're like, just get in here. He's like, what do you mean? What are we doing? Yeah, he's kind of like that. He needs a sleep deprivation tank. Right, right. So I was, he's like, what is that? He's like, where's your tent? Where is your little tent? What? That's hilarious. No, that's sweet. I can see us evolving into that at one point. We have this space in our room. I can see it happening. I feel like co-sleeping with an infant feels very different than toddler. I wouldn't want that. I'd be really anxious about that. Same. So that's why I'm like, when people get upset about toddlers' co-sleeping, I'm like, why? Well, she already also mentioned she has a baby also. And she said in that video, they don't sleep in the bed. She sleeps in her room. Once she gets big enough, they'll come in, sleep in the bed. Yeah, I just, I don't really understand the controversy with that one. The kids get old enough to sleep in a bed. You know what I mean? Yeah. That'll happen. It'll all happen. It'll all happen. Yeah. It's okay if it's at different timings. Totally. It's okay if your kid has bankies forever. I mean, just say that for myself. Hey, he'll be fine, Abby. He's doing great. Hey, it's, no, Abby, trust me. I laid down on that one. I was just like, he'll eventually lose interest. I feel bad. I'm like, your momma's always, always tells the boys, like, Brielle doesn't need a bankie. I'm like, you don't have to tell the math. That's fine. She uses her thumb. She uses her thumb. She still uses something. I love it. Well, it's great. Okay, cut that one off. Well, speaking of moms. Was that smooth enough? Yeah, I mean, I said at the same time. Speaking of moms, today's episode is really about things our moms taught us. Yeah. And, you know, I feel like we're all very grateful to have really involved moms that enjoy being moms and being involved in our lives, even as adults, which I seriously, I do not take lightly at all. It's like such a blessing. There's literally, there's nothing like it. So we're really grateful for that. But I think we can also, before we get into that, relate to times that we should have listened to our moms and we did not. And we learned the hard way. Yes. So we asked you guys some of your stories about times that you should have listened to your mom and you had to learn the hard way. When in middle school, she told me my excessive eyeliner did not look good and I should have listened. I wore so much eyeliner in middle school. That actually reminds me, you did? Yeah. Pencil eyeliner all the way around my eyes. Wow. Yeah, I just feel like that's what we thought to do. No, I wore mascara one day to sixth grade. And someone was like, do you have mascara on? And I was like, no. And then I never wore it again to sixth grade. I didn't wear makeup for until maybe eighth grade. And sixth grade was when I started wearing eyeliner. And in the eighth grade, I started wearing a lot of eyeshadow. And I used to wear purple eyeshadow because I read in Seventeen magazine that it made a brown eyes pop, of course. And then I used to just like pile on my face. And one time, I had a volleyball coach ask me, why do you feel like you need to wear so much makeup? And I know she meant it in a nice way, but I was like, because I feel pretty. I didn't take anything of it. Now looking back, I'm like, I think she was trying to lovingly tell me I shouldn't be wearing that much makeup. Maybe not her place though. Probably not, but. No, my mom always, this reminds me, my mom always told me, she's like, do not put a ponytail at the base of your neck. Really? Why? She's like higher up. Oh, because you have a face lift. Well, I don't even think it was that. She was just like, I would literally just like slick it and put it at the base of it. And now, ironically enough, that's kind of a trend. Maybe not like how I was doing it. I was doing it like super low. Like as low as I could possibly get it. And I remember her and my grandma would always be like, Abby, wear your hair down. Don't do that. It looks so pretty down. I was like, it's bothering me. Whatever, mom. They wrote in and said, wearing my retainers after braces, RIP. Oh my gosh, it's so hard. Yes. Did that happen to you? Your teeth moved? Yep. Years and years for the metal mouth. They absolutely paid so much for the braces. It's a hard one. No one wears their retainers. I wear my retainer. You do? At night. I try to wear it once a week. At this point, there. I'm like, they're there. They're moving. I never had braces, so can't relate. Beautiful teeth, girl. OK, Lily said, my mom told me to not drive on oxycodon. Everyone was fine, but never again. I'm like leaving some space for some thoughts there. That's illegal. That's what it is. That's not just your mom. That's the law. That's actually everybody. Lily. Lily. I love it. You live and you learn, girl. Everyone was fine, but gosh, never again. That's never again. Yeah, she figured it out. OK, the queen of the castle. I love that username. Said, when she said to drive safe and at 16 years old, I thought I was big and bad and ended up totaling a car. Oh, I used to drive so reckless at 16. Oh, I know. That terrifies me. It's so scary. Oh, man, my mom and dad are right. This person doesn't have a name, but this is a little bit of a longer story. Not me, but at a time my brother should have listened to my mom for me. I was probably two and my brother was seven. And my mom asked him to take me inside because she was pulling the car around to wash it on the side of the house. I was sitting in the front yard playing in a bucket of water. My brother did not listen. My mom pulls the car around clearly thinking I'm inside with my brother and not in any danger, and I'm sitting in the yard. He runs the door after realizing my mom was driving through the yard where I was. She sees him standing in the door and asks where I am. And he is just blankly staring at her, looking terrified. I was under the car, safe between the wheels, but nonetheless under the car. Thank God my mom drove a very large car, and I was very small. I was not hurt at all. I actually do remember a little bit of it. I was wearing white sandals, and the wheel rolled over the top of my foot. I remember being incredibly sad that my white shoes had black tire marks on them. That is so bad. That's so scary. I actually have a fear of that with CJ and Vivian. I'm like, gosh, I need a padlock every door that goes up to the front. Oh, yeah. Because you think your older kid, you're like, oh, the youngest can't unlock the door or whatever, but then your older kid can. What if the oldest kid leaves the door unlocked or something? Well, if you leave the, we have a magnet sensor, and so it says front door. Or it'll be like back sliding door, garage door. So I know whenever a door is open. Yeah, it talks to you. Yeah. I should get the talk at once. My parents also had the latches over the tops of the door, so we couldn't reach them. So when we tried to open the door, you can only open it like two inches. It's really smart. It's really spooky. That's really spooky. It makes me think of why he runs to the door trying to not get himself in trouble from his mom. But it just makes you think of the time where your mom texts you and, hey, can you thaw the chicken? And then you're watching TV or something, and then you hear the garage door open, and you immediately run to the freezer and pull the chicken out. You're like, everything's fine. It's been doing it for a long time. I don't know why it's still hard. I don't know why it's still frozen. Carly said, my mom told me not to date this guy, and he cheated on me with his cousin. Carly, are you OK? With his cousin? Well, I guess at that point, you're like, Carly, we're checking in. We're never going to make this work. Yeah, actually, this is for the best. This is really great. We dodged a bullet here. I figured there'd be a lot of boy-related ones. Yes. Rebecca said, when she told me I would get diarrhea if I expired chicken, cry face. Oh. Oh. That's a fear. They're always right about that one. Charlotte says, not to buy any newborn onesies. My baby was born 99th percentile. Yeah, 0 to 3 immediately. 0 to 3. Dang it. Katie said, my mom told me to use the outhouse, and I said no, and didn't make it home. It was the table for my driver's test, and I was wearing shorts all over the seats, and I had to borrow someone else's car to take the test. She still took the test. She's like, I'm getting my license. She's like, sorry, nothing can stop me. The outhouse? Do you remember? I remember taking my 16-year-old driver's test, and I was so nervous. I got out of the car, and my shirt was fully soaked with sweat from armpits to chest and back. I would be nervous in my very two, because you guys don't have any kind of driver's training. It was crazy to me that you guys took driver's training in school. We took two classes. We took a behind-the-wheel class at school, like with a teacher in a car, and then we took a seated class about the rules of the road. Oh, wow. You just show up. Yeah, I'm sorry. Like, good luck, everybody. Let these kids out on the streets. And it shows. Yeah, it actually does show. I barely passed, but I passed. It honestly does show. It honestly does. Abby, when did you not listen to your mom when you should have? The first story that popped into my head when I was thinking about this, I was in middle school, and my ethnicity is mostly white, but I'm a quarter-Lib, and he's in a quarter-Italian. So I have dark features, and I have a lot of hair. And I just remember very young age getting a mustache, and my mom being pretty forthcoming about helping me take care of that. The one thing that I was insecure about that my mom was not as forthcoming with me about was my unibrow. Okay? And I remember asking, and she was like, you don't have a unibrow, but to me, it was one. Oh, she was thinking it wasn't a problem. Yeah, she didn't think it was an issue. I felt like I had a unibrow. When I look back at pictures, I did. So she was... I don't know why she's being honest at that point. She was lying to me at that point. Normally, she's very honest about those things. So I remember I... I think I was in sixth or seventh grade, and I felt like I was going behind my mom's back because I asked her if I could shave and wax my eyebrows, and she said no. And my neighbor's mom had one of those little electric facial hairraisers. Okay. And I had never... I feel like here we go. I was like, this is just such an incredible invention. I've never heard of such an amazing product. I must use this immediately. I take it to my eyebrows, immediately shave off way too much. That's an actual... Immediately, my eyebrows went from really close together to pretty far apart, and it was just on one side uneven. So naturally, in my 11-year-old brain, I said I have to even this out. So then I went to the other eyebrow. I shaved that one over too far. So now I had two half of eyebrows. And then what did I do to fix that? Because then I started peeing. I said, oh my gosh, my mom's going to kill me. I shaved off my eyebrows. So then I said, I'm going to cut my bangs. She'll never notice. Abby, it keeps getting bigger. It keeps getting bigger. It's so weird. And it wasn't just like a straight-down bang. It was a hard side bang. So I cut a crazy side bang, put a headband over it, obviously, of course. And walk out the house, I'm like, my mom will never notice. Immediately walk out the house, she goes, what did you do? Immediately freaks out like she's else. I start crying. I don't know, I'm like, oh my god, I did it. I started crying. Tiske's progressing. Tiske's getting worse. There were a few times like that. Dang, my mom did help me with the body hair and all. I think about it because I was actually super young. And I'm actually, how good does my memory as a kid? I don't really think it's that great. But in my head, I remember who this kid is. And honestly, it could go back to him. But I heard, bleep it out. They were coming for you. I know him still. It's totally fine. He has no memory of this. My brain has told me this story that at story time in Mrs. Miss class, I'm sitting cross-legged and he's like, your legs look like a bear. Wait, I second grade. Oh, wow. This is my mom. And I told my mom, I was like, my bleep says that my leg is like a bear. And then her advice, she's like, well, you can shave them. Wow, yeah. That's so young. I did shave my legs in second grade. Second grade. I don't think it was something I kept up with. But they did get shaved. I mean, she's just giving you a solution to the problem. I know. Maybe she was waiting for you to realize. She's like, her legs are hairy. I think she was like, need to happen. Which I was. She got my, she had me regularly get eyebrow wax appointments starting seventh or eighth grade. Yeah. I think if you have, I will be forthcoming with Vivian about things that she needs to take care of. Cause they don't know it. And it's better to hear from your mom than your peers. I guess that's true. I remember the first time I shaved my leg and my parents videotaped it on like the home camera. And I was like, get out. This is so embarrassing. And they're like, oh my gosh. I'm like the home recorder. I'm like with girls. I know. So much work. So funny. Um, okay. So I actually, what does this say about me? Guys, I really tried to think of a time that my mom, here's the other thing I will say. I was a very obedient kid. Like I don't, my mom also didn't have strict rules with me. She didn't. So it was easy to like abide by them when they're, they weren't, I was like internally like very motivated to never break a rule like ever as a kid. Um, but I can think of a lot of things as an adult that my mom advised me against that I did not follow. And we can just leave it up in the air. If I regret it or not, I don't, I don't regret these. I'm just going to actually say that. She was actually wrong. Um, one of them being, uh, not to do social media. They were, I remember they were like, I remember for a long time she wouldn't watch anything. I, it was actually just brought to my attention that this is what she does watch. She watches this podcast. So hi mom. I love you. I know she's tuning in because we're talking about moms. I don't, I don't blame her. First year stuff was very coupling. Remember it was like, well, I, I, I don't know her. Oh, I feel like even as a parent now I'm like, I would never want my kids to be vulnerable to the internet. Yeah. Yeah. That's so scary. And also of course the content making was very embarrassing and, uh, that also is, we'll get to that later, but that's because of her. I wasn't embarrassed by it. Um, uh, another thing that she advised me against was, uh, moving to Hawaii, moving to Hawaii, moving to Arizona, all those things. But she did admit upon later, she's like, I advised you against that not because I didn't think you should do it because I didn't want you to do it because I was, I just didn't want you to be away from me. Yeah. That's sweet. And I think I knew that when she was giving that advice. So I was like, well, this is the best reasoning. Another one, uh, getting veneers, getting veneers. She did not want that. Well, she did. You're naturally so beautiful. She was like, I just don't see what's wrong with your teeth. I'm like, no, there's nothing wrong with my teeth. Like, and I was like, but I just like the way that they look. Of course. And I was like, you know, in your mom's eyes, her child is perfect. And so she also never got me braces or anything. So I guess she really liked them. Yeah, totally. So, um, should I keep going on the list of things that didn't listen to my mom about getting married young? I didn't listen to my mom on that one. I didn't listen to my mom on that one. She did not want me to get married young. Yeah. And we really had a lot of converse serious conversations about it. I'm glad we can talk about it now. Yeah. Um, but when it boiled down to it in her head, she like loved Matt. She actually, that was, I was very obedient. I listened to my mom. She literally in high school, she was like, you can only date Matt Howard. We lived in different towns. Look, I freaking made it happen. Yeah. Across state lines. And like I was very obedient, but then it was just in her head. It was the order of things. She's like, you graduate college, then you can get married. Right. And we're like, we just kind of messed up that order a little bit. I think it's good that our moms are a voice of reason. Like there's supposed to push back on our, especially our spontaneous whimsy. Especially if they're, if they're like kind of like not random, but like spontaneous or just like outside of normal. Totally. Like it's like, okay, well, why do you want to do this? And so it was good that I had, like I really had to think about like, what is the purpose of marriage? Like why do I want to marry Matt specifically? And like, are we, is this a good idea? Like I really had to think about that a long time. So it was good that she was against that. Of course we need that. Um, another thing I didn't listen about getting a dog. That's the next one I was going to say for you. I was going to, but do you regret that? I, it's up in the air. I know that was, I love, I love pretzel dearly. Um, she's a puppy. So she does puppy things and in a hard stage, my mom is very against it. And she doesn't hold back at all. I think she would say she was right on that one, maybe wrong on the others. Like she would say, oh yeah, you've got married great. Like forming this, forming this list. She was like, the thing you did not listen to that you should have. Cause she's like, I can see all those other things. Like I can see how it worked out was the dog. She's going to train right now. I mean, she's like, she's a puppy. She's going to do puppy things also admittedly. We don't train her like she's getting trained, but like, I'm like, at this point, that's just not a priority. Yeah. You do train her. You have the little, the little beeper, we beeper, but we did lose that. Oh. Hey, it was an attempt. Yeah, you tried really hard. Um, so yeah, no, I will also just say my mom is very like now she approves of all of those things, but those were all things that she pushed against. Well, actually, no, not the dog. I have a whole list of things. I think it's good when we become adults. I think naturally there's going to be that time in our life. Once we go to college or turn 18 or do things where you have to make that switch of listening to everything your parents say. And it goes from an obedient relationship to a, hey, I'm actually going to make my own decisions now. Yeah. And then it, then it switches. So there's a little bit of tension in there. Like I had tension with my mom a few years in there too. And now it switched from, hey, we're no longer like, it's not a parent child. Now we're peers. And now it's more of a mentor relationship. Yeah. And I think that naturally that switch has tension. And that's why I will say these weren't like disobedience. These were just like not following her advice. Right. Yeah. And then I was choosing to get married was my first like adult decision. Yeah. Because I was so young, like I was like, this was my first, then then at that point, man, I just had a hey Dave, making my own decisions. Clearly. You really did. You put your parents who were like, oh yeah, I'm getting married. And then I was like, why? And we're doing social media and then shopping at a college. They're like, whoa. They didn't push back against that one that much. Yeah. I don't really know why. Maybe they didn't. I just kind of forgot about it. I don't remember. It was just a lot of like big things at once. It was a lot at once. I put my parents through a lot. All right guys. Hey, it worked out. It worked out. I think now that we've shared things that we didn't listen, maybe should have or it worked out, maybe we can share some of the things that our moms did great and some great advice. They poured into us. Yes. And I honestly had a little bit of a hard time. I had to really sit down and think through this. And I talked to my sisters too, because when your parents shape and inform your internal dialogue and your thoughts and your life for so long, it's kind of hard to pinpoint like, oh, these are the major things that my mom shared. Or taught me that have stuck with me. So I really wanted to think through some of them. I got some good ones. Was it hard for you? Or is it kind of like, no, these are very obvious? I can't put a lot actually. Quickly. I was also having this discussion with my mom. Yeah. Because I was also like, like you said, like, you're like, you did teach me this, right? I didn't come to this. I didn't arrive here on my own. Right. Right. I guess the first one that I thought of that, like, my mom is always in my ear because this is something that I still struggle with a lot. It's the primary focus of a lot of my therapy is that I feel guilty a lot. Like I just have like a guilty, like I feel like things are like, like I should have done some, I don't know. I feel guilty all the time. My mom, ever since I was a kid, she was like, well, did you do something wrong? I'm like, I guess, I guess it wasn't wrong. She's like, well, then don't feel guilty unless you did something wrong. This feels like such a basic thing that my mom had to like really like hound and like just don't feel guilty. Unless you did something wrong. Like if someone else is going through a hard time, I feel like in my brain, it's always trying to convince me that there was something that I didn't do to stop that from happening. And so like if anything was happening or like, okay, say for instance, like I got a part and I'm thinking about this like a lot like I did theater as a kid. If I got a part that I knew someone else really wanted, like instead of being happy that I got the part because I also wanted it. I also this also prevented me from figuring out what I actually wanted because I like so badly like wanted to please others. Yeah. And so like if I got the part, I'd be like, I'm not even like that happy because I just feel so bad because so and so I know they really wanted it and they tried really, really hard. She's like, Abby, did you do anything wrong? And I'm like, no, I tried my best. And she's like, that's not wrong. Like don't feel guilty. So yeah, I feel like I that's one that I like currently even like now that I'm 27, I still hear my mom's voice like literally in her voice like, don't feel guilty unless you did something wrong. Your mom is a really level headed and a great voice of reason. And so I can see her just and she's really good at just sharing truth in a way that's just like, why is that even, you know, it's just it's so matter of fact in a gracious way. Yeah, like she I feel like I could see your mom saying that in a way that doesn't make you feel dumb for feeling guilty, but also is like, Hey, that's just not true. Like, you know, yeah, I think she balances the thing. Those things really well. And her, I think that's very true. So that that's a really good one. My mom is extremely hardworking. If I think through the people in my life and the most hardworking people I know, it's both of my parents and Caleb, like, I'm like, these are three of the most hardworking people I know. She was one of 13. She's 13 siblings. Crazy. Yeah. One of 13. And they just they didn't they didn't have any money growing up. And so all of her siblings really had to bootstrap themselves to if they want to do something, they had to financially pay for it themselves starting at a young age. And so just her whole life, she's really just grinded for the things that she's she wanted. Anytime that I would say, I want to do blank or I wish I could do this, my mom would always just say, Well, just do it. Why can't you do it? What's stopping you from doing it? Just go do it. Even the way you just said it, I could see Ruth saying that. Just do it. Just like, Why are you talking about? Just go do it. And I was talking to her about this and she actually was given that advice at her first job when she was 19 years old from a guy in the elevator at her office. And she's like, that always stuck with me. And I wanted to teach that to you girls. And that has always been just my attitude of life. Like, well, if I want to try something, I'm just going to try it. I'm just going to do it. Like, there's not a question of if I can. It's not a question if I can do it. It's just, will I or will it not? That's good. Yeah. And I think that just gave me a level of confidence to try new things and always enabled me to like take risks. And I feel like we take a lot of, Caleb and I have taken a lot of risks together in our 20s. And I feel like my mom has really encouraged all those decisions. And yeah, from a young age, that wasn't still with me. I can do anything. My parents did that too. I always think about all the time I tell Matt this story, both my parents, but my dad, like there's some specific memories. I think there's something too about like a girl with their dad. Like you're like, my dad's not going to lie to me. Like my mom will make me feel good, but my dad is not going to lie to me. I remember one day I was like, dad, it's so crazy, but there has been a lot of presidents and none of them have been a girl. And he was like, well, you could be the first. And I was really like, I could. I will be. But that sounds like a lot of work. Oh, I won't be. I fully believe that. Like, and I, to this day, I fully believe that my dad thought I could. I don't know if that is actually what he's thinking or if he was like trying to instill confidence in me. And then at the same thing happened with baseball. I was like, dad, all of these major league baseball players, none of them are girls. He was like, you could be the first. I was like, me, so not athletic. And I'm like, I could, but gosh, I think I want to do something else with my time. Yeah. Yes. And so I always think about that because I think humility is a really important characteristic to have. But I was thinking about this more and more like when it comes to kids, I'm like, that's not the role of the parent. Like I feel like the world is does enough to knock you on your knees and humble you. Right. That I'm like, I just want to speak like confidence into my children. Yeah. Now I do think you can cross a line with that. Right. But I think you can gauge that. And I don't know. I'm like, my parents just really spoke a lot of confidence in me. They're like, you can. Or they're like, why are you not the best? Like you could be the best. Just be the best. Just do it. Just work hard. Yeah. Work really hard and you can do whatever you want. Yeah. And I think that's something with CJ recently, like if he says, I can't do it, mama. I'm like, don't ever say you can't do it. You can ask for help. And that's what you should say. Don't ever say you can't do it because you can buddy. And if you need help, just say I need help because that's a good thing. Yeah. But don't say you can't because you can do anything. And that's just, I get that from my mom and my dad, but my mom really spoke that a lot. Okay. This next one's actually really good and it's as it relates to boy advice. I think for a period of time there, my mom was probably like, what's going on with Abby because I was not like very boy crazy. Like I just, okay, I always say that and you guys always think I wasn't. My mom was like, you were not boy crazy. Ask her. No, I believe you weren't boy crazy, but the boys were crazy about you. Like you always had a guy that was like dying for your attention. The stories I've heard, it's more than just mad. If I have painted that picture, if I have painted that picture, then that is just my ego. It is not the case. Who's seen at the hotel with you guys in St. Louis? Yeah. I'm like, you've never had, you've never said it in a prideful way. I'm like, what is she talking about? I don't know. You were on dates? I did go on dates. Okay. So this is where it comes to my mom's advice. Okay. She might have phrased it differently, but in my head, I internalized it as like, no boy can take a reservation on you. Meaning like, okay, so this came into play specifically. I can think of an example when it came to homecoming. I was like, mom, like this guy is like literally actively driving to our house to ask me to homecoming because his friend told me he's like, are you home? I know what's about to happen. But I was like, but I know so and so is planning and they're going to ask me, they already told me they're going to ask me to homecoming. And she's like, Abby, no, no boy can take a reservation on you. And so she's like, if they're going to ask you, it's like whoever is asked you and you want to go with them first, you take that. Like no one gets to take a reservation. Yeah. They don't get to claim steak on your land. Yeah. And like hold you, hold you. Literally. They don't get to claim steak on my land. Sorry. This land is yours. This land. That's my favorite flag song. There are other flags. Oh, sorry. Great little flag is my favorite flag. Okay. Sorry. D railed. Go back. Anyway, she's like, no boy gets to take a reservation and actually this did come into play now. This did come into play. This came into play a couple other times where she was like, the boys. Couple other times. She's like, no one. They should. They're cute. You're so cute. Of course. She's like, no one gets to take a reservation here. And I do think that that can, that can extend beyond like boys asking you to homecoming. But like basically meaning like you, you're free to make your own decisions for yourself and your best interest. Right. And I think this also, once you hear more about the other advice I needed from my mom, explains it, like, but they wanted to and I had to do this. Yeah. That's really good advice, especially if you're a people pleaser. It's like, hey, you don't, they don't get, they don't have the right to just take your answer. She's like, she's like, Abby, actually think for a minute, who do you want to go with? And I was like, well, I probably want to go with who is like, going to cut. And she's like, this is like the fact that she needed to sort through all that to just figure out what I actually wanted. So I would do that. And so, um, yeah. And then this advice also extended to like going on dates, like if a guy would ask me on a date, but I'm like, but mom, I just don't know if I could like see my whole life with him. She's like, Abby, whoa, she's like, it's not that serious. Like it's not, it's fun. And if you, if you think you'd have a fun time with him, you don't have to think about if you even want him to be your boyfriend, like just say yes, if you think it would be fun to go with him, give him a shot. And she's like, she's like, I think he's a really nice kind guy. And if he's like, if he's asking you on a date, like you can just say yes. And it can be that simple. Um, so yeah, I was, my mom was like, boy, advice. That's really good advice. Really good advice. No reservations on me. Yeah, I love that. We don't take reservations here. That's good. I'm going to use that someday. That's really good. My mom's was also similar and kind of playing off with the first. My mom was really big on fake until you make it. And she would always tell us if you walk into a room and you feel insecure, put your shoulders back, remember that you are a Ulet girl, put your chin in the air and walk around like you're, don't stink. Okay. And she meant it. And she's like, if you, you just have to go in there, walk into rooms where you feel scared and just pretend like you're not. She's like, you don't have to be perfect at this or whatever. Like you will figure it out along the way. And I just feel like that I've really, that has stuck with me a lot. And there are a lot of things that like I'll do or start that I am nervous about or feel insecure about. But as you start doing them and the more time you're in those spaces, you get better and you learn more. And so it's like, if you never even took the step to enter whatever it is, like I'll just use the podcast. For example, I was nervous to start the podcast. And it's like, if I never started it, I was too scared or wanted to be perfect off the jump, like then you just don't even have the opportunity to grow and learn. And so you just kind of have to pretend like you're a professional until you become a professional. And I think sometimes people ask like, how are you confident? Like I'm not always confident. I just pretend like I'm confident. I just gas like myself and it's a great way to live your life. Your mom was meant to raise girls, I feel like. Yeah. Like strong women. Yes. And she did. She totally did. It's so interesting, my parents balance because my mom is really like, I would describe her as strong, loyal, really like stand up for yourself, vary that. And then my dad is more of the sensitive like talker. So they have a good balance there. But it's funny that my mom isn't like the sensitive one. Your mom's confidence is contagious. Like I feel like when I'm around her. I feel like I'm like, there's no place for fear. Like no. She's a very uplifting person to be around. Yes. Seriously. This one's kind of twofold because we did. I'm kind of combining two into one that I could easily separate and make them two separate things. But I think about my parents a lot when it comes to careers. So my parents, this is one of those things my parents taught us to do kind of differently than like how they did. And I want to be careful because I don't want to like speak on their life story, but they're always like, do what you love. Like it does not matter if it is like not practical. They weren't really like the practical. But actually in the book I'm reading the girl wants to be an actress and her dad is like, it's not practical. And that was never, my parents both had very practical jobs. But that they would never gave me that advice. They were like, I remember being like, guys, like this doesn't feel very realistic because I wanted to do acting as well. And they're like, I'm like, it doesn't really feel that realistic. And they're like, someone has to have the part. Someone has to someone gets to do that. It's whoever is going to work hard and try and actually take that risk. And so like that should be you. And so they always pushed me to like follow my passions and to, I guess, not be afraid of taking like a non-conventional route, which is honestly so ironic that this is like now where I'm at because it's like, even though my mom wasn't necessarily encouraging social media, she did always encourage me to follow like my passions and like to be like non-conventional, but ultimately to not worry what other people think. And they, when I was talking to my mom about this episode, I was like, what were the things that you like really, really intentionally taught me? And I was like, because like you said, it's hard to pick piece apart like what came from your mom. And you're like, I just have that. And I actually know your parent was like the voice speaking this into you, this whole, your whole childhood. And she's like, I feel like the thing I focused on the most was not to worry what other people think. And it was really sweet because she's like, I couldn't really figure it out myself. But that one certainly worked on you. Which was really sweet. But yeah, so I guess like arriving at a career decision and like not worrying about if it's conventional or if it's necessarily realistic or what other people are going to think. Because I do think a lot of people that go into acting, modeling, any, start a business, social media. Like there can be a lot of fears of like, oh my gosh, like what if someone sees this and like it is super cringy and they're like embarrassed by it. I guess in my head, I kind of was just kind of like whatever, whatever. I don't know. Like, I don't know. It doesn't matter. I shouldn't say that I never like got embarrassed about it, but I just feel like my parents really just instilled this like, I don't know, disregard for other people's opinions, which was something that I think they had to do because it was like, I was not naturally that way. I fully believe that I did not just like come this way. Like they were, I was like, like I said, especially like from a young age, people pleasing like super concerned about like everyone else and like what they were thinking or if they approved of what I was doing. And so they really worked against that and especially my mom. Yeah. And that's amazing. Yeah, I hope that for my kids. It's like you want, there's such a freedom in your life when you arrive to that point where it's like the opinions of others don't affect my life. Yeah. I can tell that's something your parents did because Blake's the same way where he's like, I don't care about other people's opinions. He doesn't need them or he doesn't need other people's validation on who he is. And so that definitely comes from your parents instilling that in both of you. Yeah, like they were very safe in your identity with them. Like you knew who you were based off what they said about you. And it's like, okay, then I know that's true. So I think that's amazing, amazing, amazing. Yeah, I got to give them that credit. Yeah, that's awesome. The last one from my mom that I was thinking through, and this isn't necessarily something she told me. It's just what she showed me in her life. My mom is incredibly servant hearted towards her feeling like she sees a need and she fills it and it's honestly insane to me. Just like the way I watch her days. She just moves from thing to thing to thing to thing. She's got like a little energizer bunny. Like she has so much energy. She never complained. She never expects anything back in return. She just gives and gives and gives and gives and gives to her, her daughters and her husband. And I'm like, dang, my mom is an incredible example of just like a really servant hearted loving mom. He was just loved being a mom, loves being a wife, like loves her family so well. And even just like the smallest things, I'll be out of paper towels. She'll come the next day and she'll bring me paper towels. You know, she's like really small things she sees a need and she fills it. And it's something I deeply, deeply admire in my mom. And like I really want to, sorry, I don't want to get emotional talking about it. Yeah. That's sweet. Hey, you can cry here. Oh, Abby, you have a good mom. I'm the best mom. Yeah. I just think too like when it comes to her being a grandma, so sweet. Yeah. And I remember right after I gave birth to CJ, Caleb, you know, we were in the hospital for quite a few days after he was born. And so Caleb didn't have any time off of work. And it was the day we got out of the hospital and he had to go and work 40 hours. He worked 40 hours in three days, like right after she was born. And I remember sitting there like, oh my gosh, we have a baby. I have no idea what I'm doing. And my mom came and she was just like, Abby, let him work. Just go let him catch up on that. I'm here. I'm here. I got you. And like let him catch up so that when I'm gone, like he can help you. And just like the way that she always steps in is so amazing. And I know you're getting emotional, Addy, because your mom is the same way. And it's just so especially when these moments when you really need your mom and they show up, you're just like, oh, so blessed. I love you. So it's just. Yeah, I admire that in her. And I hope I can be like that towards CJ and Vivian and their family someday, too. That's her legacy that I want to pass on to my kids. It's sweet, just like seeing how. So. Much my mom is trying to figure out and my parents are trying to figure out, like, financially, how she can quit her job so that she can just be here and like take care of Brielle, which is like the most like selfless thing to want to do that for us. And she's been here for three days and she's just so sweet watching her just wide up. Yeah, it's the best. Yeah. And Lori's great. Yeah, seriously. The best. Yeah. Honey, sorry. Not a crap. Honey. The best honey. She's she's seriously. Yeah. Was there anything, Addy, that you wanted to share something that you learned from your mom? I was trying to think of things while you guys were talking. I was thinking like my parents and my mom really set me up for success financially and teaching us how to use our money, save our money, give our money. And that set us up for success. Like huge. It really has just instilling that from us from a young age and unconditional love. I think that's like a normal thing, but I think she showed that very, very selflessly growing up. And I knew that I could go to her about anything. I also think you were mentioning this too, not having that strict of rules. Yes, there were expectations. And I think that was the thing is there were expectations of me, but there weren't necessarily strict rules around me. And I think that again, also set me up for success growing up. I know they expected me to be home by a certain time or they expected me to do. Be a good kid and to do things, but they weren't like, you have to be at home by midnight or you're grounded and there's these consequences and these things that happen. It's like, we expect you to be at home because that's what we tell you. And I always knew, OK, cool. That's fine with me. Right. And listening to them in those ways was really helpful. I love that you bring that up because I think my parents also had that style of parenting and I kind of like was have been thinking about obviously parenting all the time now with my kids coming from not super strict parents instilled confidence in me because in a way I felt like I was like kind of setting the expectation for myself, even though underhandedly, like they had laid this foundation of what was acceptable and what was not acceptable. But in my head, it was still like it wasn't as black and white. So I felt like I had the confidence then to like navigate things that weren't black and white and that relational aspect of parenting. Whereas like if it's super strict and black and white, then you just don't want to approach your parents. Oh, yeah. I would text them all the time and be like, hey, I'm kind of I'm running a little late on curfew. I'll be home in 15 minutes. Or can I leave in 15 minutes instead of being home in 15 minutes? And they'd be like, yeah, sure. Like it was just a communication and like a trust that I think my parents had to build in me. Like I didn't need to be at home. No. And they wouldn't want that either. They want me to be safe and get home quickly. I think the other thing is the confidence building and, um, I don't know how they instilled that in me. I think that's something that I've realized is maybe different about me. This is so superficial, but I'm like, I don't really wear makeup that often. Like really only when I'm going out somewhere and I think, and I don't really get my hair done. I don't get dressed during the day. Like I'm really confident in my natural self. And I think my, my mom just, she never expected anything different from me. And I think she always told me how beautiful I was just the way I was. And then not quitting. I would have quit dance that first time I was there. I wanted to quit at semester and she didn't let me and I danced the rest of my life. And so I think that's something too. But those are my quick things. Those are great. Those are good. Your mom was also like, when I think about your mom, she's very like good with verbal affirmation. I feel like she is. And that is something we go back and forth with cause I don't necessarily want it. She's really sentimental. You're very like, you're a very kind person, but like, it's like, your mom is so verbally affirming. And I was like, wow, that's. She is. And I think that actually played a big role in who I am, even though I didn't necessarily need it, but I did clearly, but I'm not a verbal affirmations person. I don't know what I am. I think I do like it, but sometimes I'm like, it's cheesy. Like this morning, Braille was crying and I picked her up. She loves her mommy. I'm like, of course she does. Like, duh. But she's like, so sweet. I'm like, yeah, she does. How do you so funny? I'm so straightforward. I'm a lot like my dad, which is funny. And so my mom is very good with verbal affirmations and making sure she loves all of her children's no matter what. And I think that has shown me a lot. We've been through a lot as a family and my mom has shown up for every single one of us kids in so many ways that I think is so admirable, even though sometimes she's like, why did one of my kids want kids or only want to? She is. She's like, you guys only want two kids or no kids. And I'm like, she's like, what did I do wrong? I'm like, nothing. You did great. So yeah, she is very good with the verbal. Well, I'm glad we got to shout out our moms. Yes, I also watch the podcast. So they're there. So you guys are all crying. Yeah. We're all crying. We made this because we found out that all of our moms listen to this podcast. They actually made us do it. No, it's not. Ruth hopped on our call and I said, let's make it about the mom. Literally. Oh, that was great. We also want to shout out some of your moms because we pulled you guys and asked some of the good lessons you learned from your mom and you came up with some really good ones to share. So we're going to shout out a couple of them. Mara said her mom said to always shower before getting in bed. I second that. That's a great. That's a good one. I never understood morning showers. I didn't either. Got to get a little crazy. Um, I don't know how to say her name. VV was to say that her mom would say, you are who you hang around with. And ain't that true? That is the great one. It's so true. My mom always said, this comes from live. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. Now I always ask. I love people that just ask out of pocket things. Not like, like you just go to the store and it's like, Hey, can I have a discount on that? I'm like, at least they asked. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, I'm just so. Oh, that makes me itchy. It makes me itchy too. But when people do it, I'm like, that is that. Well, also, Laurie will ask for. My mom asked for things and I'm like, oh my gosh. And then usually she gets it. Like, I should just start asking for things. I'm like, mom, no, no, no, please don't. Please just keep it simple. It is. I want to ask you. Sammy said juice oranges. Oh, sorry. Juice oranges, carrots and ginger together and drink to help with acne and make your skin glow. That sounds so good. I love ginger. Just oranges, carrots and ginger. Okay. I mean, I'd sound delicious. If anything, it's healthy. Yeah. And we love that. Grazie says always have a list and eat before you go grocery shopping. Save so much money. Eat before you go grocery shopping. It's so real. That is good. That is good advice. Ellie said that that nothing good happens past 11 p.m. My dad would always say that. Like nothing good happens after midnight. I know it is a little ominous. And then anytime I was past midnight, I'm like, I gotta get home. Oh my bad things are going to happen. I gotta get home. Yeah, like, what did you do? It's like superstitious. I was like, oh, things are going to, I ruined it. I'm out past midnight. I feel like we ought to also shout out. Like, I know that, like we have really put a lot of praise on our moms, but not everyone gets to have like a good mom, you know, like there's, that's unfortunate, but that's the case. But I just want to encourage those of you that if you're like, man, dang it, like, what am I to do? Like, I'm just out in the world alone. I don't have, or maybe you've, your mom is not around anymore, or there's particular life circumstances that just make your relationship with your mom a little bit more challenging or difficult or distant. And I just want to say that you have the power, I fully believe this, to change your family down the future. And, um, like I just have seen that even in my own family. Like if you look generations back, like the example wasn't always there. And this is something that like people had to intentionally do. Like my mom and my grandma's had to intentionally do to change that for our family. So, um, things could be different and for my relationship with my mom and my mom's relationship with her mom. So I just want to say that you have the power to, to change that and to start a new trend. Yes. Yes. I fully believe that. So encouraging and hopeful. Well, we come to the part where we're talking about always eating. Oh, what do we make? What are we making for dinner? I found a new recipe this week. You did? Yeah. I'm linking it for you guys. It's a sheet pan meal because who doesn't love a good sheet pan meal. Just no more dishes. I'm sick of it. Yeah. And, um, this one is sheet pan yokey with Brussels sprouts and sausage. I'm going to say a couple of things. It feels like a, you put pesto on top of it at the end. Yeah. Um, it cut, this recipe is actually very big. And I feel like you can swap a lot of things out. It feels kind of fall like, cause I feel like I think about Brussels sprouts and butternut squashes in it. It feels like kind of fall like it's good anytime of year. It's kind of has some interesting flavors. I swapped out the Italian sausage for chicken sausage. I love an apple chicken sausage. Yeah. You just chop it all up, throw it in the oven. And then you can top it with the recipes. Baratta. I just use those like fresh mozzarella pearls and a little pesto. Yum. And everyone ate it. Yeah. Which was a win. Okay. I shouldn't say I'm not sure how much my kids ate. But me and Matt loved it. And I made it for a friend too. Every adult ate it. Every adult ate it. I don't know if your kids are eating Brussels sprouts. How are you doing that? Right. Right. Right. I mean, I could probably get them to eat one if I gave them candy afterwards. This was the first week ever that CJ didn't get separate dinners made. He ate all of our meals this week. I know. That was a nice win. That was great. Yeah. He ate broccoli. I have my kids eat broccoli. He said, I like it. I know, like we're turning a corner. No, it's the best. That was fun. That reminds me of this weekend when your oldest didn't want to eat his breakfast casserole and then he took a bite. He goes, I like it. I like it. I like it. I ate it all. And it took him a while to take that first bite. I know you like this food. I'm just going to just going to stick it out. Yes. So true. But my recipe is from ambitious kitchen. It's the mom's slow cooker beef stew. Her recipes are so good. I have not made a bad ambitious kitchen recipe. All of her soups are amazing. And she I once made an entire ambitious kitchen Thanksgiving. When we had COVID and Caleb and I didn't go home for Thanksgiving. I made all of her recipes. Wow. It was incredible. Everything was so good. So this is like you make it in the slow cooker, which is nice. You just sear your beef, throw it in there. And then it's just a flavor bomb of seasonings. It's red wine, balsamic vinegar, herbs. It's, it is so good. And it kind of gets thick at the end. You put in a little flour and peas at the end and then let it kind of simmer. And it gets really thick and nice. And it's just, oh, it is a comfort meal. You know, healthy and good and hearty. And it is everyone will love it and slow cooker bonus. Yeah, you can make in the morning. Yeah, people like go to work. You can just throw it in the cook. So it's it's every time. Ask, ask, ask, ask, ask Abby. You have a couple of voicemails. Yeah, let's kick it off with a food related one. Oh, hi. I just had to recall because my toddler hung up on you guys. I just wanted to call and say that I took you your advice on like skipping lunch time for toddlers and treating it more like just snacks and letting them just kind of snack throughout the early afternoon. And I just want to say that is in a game changer, like no more fighting with having them eat or not eat or my one year old throwing food on the floor. None of that. And now they actually eat. So I just wanted to say that I appreciate that and that has been like some of the best advice I've ever gotten. So thanks. Love you guys. Oh, it feels so good because actually when she said she followed my advice, I was like, oh, no, no, no, they listen. Oh, no, I don't know. I'm going to go. Oh, man. Yeah. Don't teach the whole. There's a lot of that. That's that's so funny. You're that. That's I'm glad it's working for you. Yeah. Gosh, I can't go back anymore. Yeah. Thanks for sharing to that. That was like you tried it and it was good. That's music to our ears. Seriously. Hi, Abby's. This is Brooke and I was just wondering if you guys have any books that you've read that have really impacted the way that you parent. Thank you. The Bible. I honestly haven't read any books. I feel like we could also add in like, or if there's like influences you follow or different online content people too. That would. I honestly, when it comes to parenting stuff, I'm really careful about what I listen to online because there are so many opinions online and every kid is so different. So I feel like it's okay to take some little nuggets here and little nuggets there, but honestly, it's the same thing with me. I'm like, it's just overwhelming sometimes to intake everything and parenting is just not one of those things that's proven like this works and this doesn't because again, every kid's so different. I've honestly, like I talked to a lot of people in my life. I talked to my mom. I talked to you guys. I have my mentor Kim. She's older and she has three kids that she's I really respect the way that she's parent to your kids. And I just feel like I'm taking advice on the people in my life. I enjoy their children and like, a adult children too. Um, so that has almost been more beneficial to me than necessarily like books and stuff. There is one book. It's called shepherding your child's heart, which not everything in that book. Um, I do or agree with, but there's one thing that really stuck out to me. And I think about it a lot when it comes to discipline. It's that I don't always want to go for control. Like I don't want to go for control or just behavior control. I want to try to get to the heart problem. So like, what is the root of this behavior? Not just trying to like snuff out the behavior. And so I try to think about that a lot. Like if, you know, my oldest isn't listening very well. I'm like, well, why is he listening? Do I am I, am I getting upset because he's not, I'm not able to like control him right now? Or am I just upset because this is actually like a bad character trait that I want to talk to him about and like point him in a better direction. Um, so I feel like those are the things that has like stuck out to me. Uh, when I think about parenting stuff, but I don't know, navigating it day by day. I totally agree. Yeah. Like I think parenting advice is probably best done through relationship. If possible. Um, I know that in college, Matt and I nannied for a family together that we like adored their children and still do. And I remember just like picking her brain all the time. Like, why do you do this? Or how do they do this? Like they're so young yet they speak like adults, like, but they're so fun and bold. And they take things on. Like I just remember just picking her brain. Shout out Sarah Downey. Honestly, like she's amazing. And, um, I still talk to her sometimes. And so, um, yes, obviously like looking for people that you're like, okay, their kids are pretty awesome kids. Like how did you do that? Like let's reverse engineer that. And then also, um, if I did have to pick a book, I can't claim that I've read the entire book. I have not finished it, but a really popular book was hunt gather parent. And there's a line from it that like, I think about a lot because it redirects me a lot in my day and it's kids don't want to be distracted. They want to be included or kids don't need to be distracted. They need to be included. And so I think about that a lot, especially like when I'm like, okay, I'm like cleaning something or cooking something. And it'd be really easy to try to set them up with something and get them out of my hair, but there's so much to be learned from them. Like going through those motions with me and like making a meal with me or, you know, like being a part of cleaning something up. And, um, I see that teaches them a lot of independence too. So hunt gather parent. I cannot claim to have read that entire book, nor did I probably recommend the entire thing. Yeah, I didn't read all shepherd. Your child's heart. I think I read like the first few chapters like that stuck with me. I don't need it anymore. Got it. Like get to the heart. Hi, Abby's. I love listening to you guys when I'm doing my mom chores. So thank you for making those a lot more fun. Um, I would love to know how you guys named your kids. And if there are any stories behind your kids names, thank you. That's sweet. That's sweet. It's such an honor to be included in like your daily life like that. Like when I just hear about like your mom chores, like, uh, so sweet. I know. Okay. So CJ, his name is Caleb John. Caleb was obviously my husband and then both grandpas are John. So that was really fun. And we had a really hard time thinking of a boy name and it just came to me. At night I said, we should just name him Caleb John and calm CJ. Cause that's like the three most important men in his life. So if we have another son, I have no idea what direction we'll go. Um, and then Vivian, I've loved that name since I was a little girl. Like I have a journal. I used to want to be a fashion designer and I have a journal where my, I was my design book and my designer name was Vivian Vincent, your I have a whole page of logos and yeah, just so silly. Um, but I've just always loved that name. It's always stuck with me and yeah, I just always knew that was going to be my daughter's name. For my kids, Griffin, uh, I just liked that name. That's about it. Story. But his middle name is Douglas, which is a family name, which we had lost my grandpa the year before he was born. And so they share the same middle name. Yeah. And then same with August. I actually, that was a name I loved since childhood. I read the book wonder when I was a kid. Is that he gets a deformity? Yeah. Is there a movie about it? Yeah, there's a movie now. Yeah. Okay. It's been a book. It was a book for a while. Yeah. Sweet. Um, he, his name was like, his name was Augie and I was like, I love the name Augie and I was like, well, I guess I can only use it if I have a boy born in August, which actually a lot of people renamed August, August. They're like, I would only name my son August if he wasn't born in August. And I was like, everyone's so different. Okay. And so I always said, I was like, if we ever have a boy born in August, then we got our name already. And then I was like, but what are the odds of that? And then his due date was the 15th. So I was like, odds are probably going to be born in August. And so I was excited about that. And then, um, he is named after Matt's grandpa for their middle name. They share a middle name. August Jacob. Yeah. And so, um, both of our kids have like significant family middle names, but then just names that we like for the first time. That's how we are too. We knew we wanted a B name. We like the double B's, um, for a Braille as well. And we just like the name. That's the only like B name we liked for a girl. So if we have another girl, we're going to have to find another B name we like. Um, but her middle name's Lee after Terry likes grandpa. And then my mom's middle name is also Lee. So it kind of worked for both of us. Oh, that's cool. I didn't know that. Yeah. Hers is spelled L. E. A. But you usually ask how to spell it. Right. Right. Right. Right. That's awesome. Thanks again to all of you that have called in and left voice mails. It's probably my favorite part of filming. That's honestly, it's like such a sweet way to end off the episodes and a way to connect with you guys. And we just appreciate your engagement. Um, if you also want to call the phone number is 602-456-9690. And I think it's always fun reading your guys' reviews. So thank you guys so much for leaving those. If you guys want to leave a review, um, on all your episodes or all your podcast listening platforms, that would be so greatly appreciated. And this review is from Abby. Great name. I'm a fellow Abby. Hello. Uh, I could simply not continue running while listening to your latest episode. I was on mile nine of my run and the part about your little guy tumbling down. I'm sorry. The part about your little guy tumbling down the slide and shooting your son with the Nerf gun came on. And when I say I was wheezing from laughter, tears were in my eyes. I have a two and a half year old, taller boy and just couldn't relate more. I love your show and the pure entertainment. It brings a breath of fresh air from the gossip all over the internet today. Thank you for joining me on my runs and helping me feel strong as I train for my half marathon next month, six months postpartum. Wow. We should be friends. I feel like we have so many things in common. Seriously. Thank you so much for leaving that review and glad we did entertain you. Gosh, thank you guys so much. Um, wow, I think that wraps up today's episode. Yeah. Thank you guys for listening. And remember we're always here.