#245 - SwaggerSouls got KICKED OUT of a Golf Course!

Here we go! Yeah! Whoa! Yes! Welcome back to the cooool! Hotcakes! So good! Okay! Alright! Welcome back to the Coon's Fun Kids! Someone's gonna think their phone got unplugged while they were listening and the radio turned on and that's what they got. Hey! Think it's fucking white noise! That was good though! That was good! No problem! I think maybe we'll stick to what we're better at. A beautiful, sultry introduction to this great show, The Coon's Pancakes. Yeah, we're shittin' from the deep south, maybe. All four of us are here. All four of the Coons are here for your listening and viewing pleasure. We're gonna blarg. Hello. We're gonna mignaghty. And we got the dude! The audio listeners are gonna think you're both not here. You're fucking going with the flinch, you're gonna be waving! You're fucking waving! You're waving dude. We're gonna do a whole pad case in sign language. We're gonna do a whole pad case in sign language. What kind of tarp are you wearing? It's throwing me off. It's just like a... Is it like a golf shirt kind of? Let's get a 360. Let's get a fit check. Let's get a fit check. It's just black. Oh, it is a golf tarp. What are you wearing? We got the glove on for the podcast! Did we interrupt something? Were you mid? When you said, I'm checking out at the store, did you mean you're hitting another danger or what? This is the Gune glove. Not golf. It's for guning. It's like when you're playing pool, you need like a sliding grip with your cue. He uses that instead of lube. It's actually very gross. Gross. Okay. Gross. I'm wearing a cool shirt today too. You all wanna see it? Alright, fit check. Fit check. We're just doing fit checks today. Active shooter in the building. Mine says it's gooning time. I see that. That's pretty cool. That's kind of gassed. It's wearing sunglasses. I didn't realize that. The only thing that I'm wearing... Is gamership. Are you wearing a G-Subs cup shirt? Oh yeah. Oh, I wish. Dude, that'd be a top shirt. She's the cup right now. You can go to gamersubs.gg and use code GOS. You can. If you're gay and stupid, I'll die. If you're gay and retarded, do it. Go to gamersubs.gg to see if you want... If you want your heart to fucking explode. If you want your heart to explode, then take three times the recommended dose. Probably more than that. Have you ever wanted to speed up the process of gondas? Drink gamer subs. Are you not yellow enough? If you ever wanted to unofficially dye your skin, then... You'll see how it goes. Just rub gamersubs all over yourself. Go to gamersubs.gg to use code GOS. If you're order again, so you can get a G-Subs G-8 or a G-8. What if they do it at a gamer? What if they do it at a gamer? Which means you probably smell like shit. So go to... Fuck you. What is our cheeky link again? Cheeky.com Use cheeky.com Use cheeky.com Goons! Get 10% off. Go get yourself some gamer gunk. So you stop smelling like shit inside of a sock... Wait a minute. That was left in the fridge with Indian food and then lit on fire. Wait, wait, wait. It smells like Indian shit. Use this. I'm getting a whiff. I'm getting a whiff of some question. Turn locker. Oh, maybe crisp apple perhaps? No, it's a crisp apple. Yeah, it's not like a microphone. If you're in a turn locker. Yeah, it's Bergamot. You were to activate your scratch and sniff. Here, try this. Scratch your screen like you're at the casino. Scratch that shit. Ooh, that smells good. Don't it? Now my fingers... That smells like clean and man ass. Oh yeah. I'm getting something else to make sure to use shaky.com for which I'm not sure. Swagger. Yes. You have recently inspired me. By simply existing. He does that. He's an inspiration. One thing I always notice about Mr. Beautiful Swagger Souls is you have impeccable eyebrows. Very good eyebrows. Very expressive. So I took it above myself to... It's my brows myself. Did you not have eyebrows before? Yeah, notoriously. Notoriously didn't have very good eyebrows. I feel like your hat's always so low. I never even noticed. If you look at recent pictures, I have very light eyebrows. So I have hair there. I have hair there, but it's very light hair. Which is weird because I don't have a light beard. You don't have your brows? Yeah, I actually had a micro bladed. No way. They take a little blade and make micro cuts in your skin with ink. And then it just kind of darkens the area behind your eyebrows. They tattooed your eyebrows. It's like a temporary tattoo. I can do this. You smell the rockers cooking. People can actually tell when they're in that. It's not permanent. It's like Hannah. It's like Hannah for the eyebrows. It's like Hentai, yeah. I think it's more permanent than that. It'll definitely last more than a few hours. It looks good on you. Thanks. They were super dark. They were super dark and very funny looking when I first got them. But they fade over time. Your eyebrows are like the window towards your intention and your emotions. They say the forehead and the eyebrows are the billboard for your emotions and how you express yourself. Isn't that why everyone hates Mr. Beast now? Because his forehead doesn't smile. I think there's multiple reasons. I think he's a lizard with human skin on. I think that's why. I've met Jimmy before and he does have room temperature skin and he is scaly and he does have a forked tongue that he occasionally slithers into his mouth. That's worrying me. Those are all the signs of this. He does have to get his energy back at the end of the day by basking underneath the sun lamp. But that's neither here nor there. I think that's just a consequence of growing up in North Carolina. That might be that. What do you expect? It's a hot climate of hard It's a stressful job to have. But he's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's got a strong tongue. I think he's a 666 beast. He's on my ceiling still. Mr. Beast is on your ceiling? Mr. Beast is right above me. Is it pray or post veneer? Pre I think. Isn't it my older picture? Do I have this camera somewhere? No I don't. I only found out maybe a couple of days ago that having veneers has nothing to do with venereal disease. Sorry, me and you were blocking my ass. I blew my mind. I started lactating. I started lactating. Okay. Yeah, no, I don't think it does. No, I don't. Yeah, no. Are veneers like caps? What are they? They just make your tooth down. You can get them implanted. They shave a millimeter off the front of your teeth and then put a cap on the front of it. But the other ones, they'll shave your whole tooth down to your little tooth nub and then put a cap over your tooth. Oh, is that the one Steve got? Steve posted a picture of himself smiling and it just looked like... That's like 30 grand and you're all fucking numb. Make your teeth look like... I'm not getting Mexican teeth, bro. That sounds risky. Just spend the extra, get it at home. Yeah, what do they put it in? It's too spicy all the time. What if they put it in and it's just full of cocaine and then you get arrested in the water? It's a chilly lime teeth for the rest of your life. Yeah, it's funny. It's like cocaine teeth, but you get out of the dentist, you're like, it's just a little numb. It's been a week. Everything is numb. It's been three weeks. It's been three weeks. I got one of my teeth removed and I'm just sweating all the time now. I'm just nervous. Sweating all the time. I need more teeth now. I'm looking really sexy and I have a super, really good, successful social life now. It's fucking insane. There's a lot more negative effects than that. It's not good. Okay, there's also downsides aside from paying for it. It's true. I've never done cocaine. Big fact. I've never ever touched cocaine. I'm not going to lie to you, Swags. I'm a little surprised by that. I've been to a few miscarriage parties in the day. Let me tell you, I have been around a lot of cocaine. I've been around a lot of work. I've been around at most, I don't know if I can even say this, but it was like an IKEA mirror that was like a mountain of cocaine for like a person's birthday party. I remember I was just there for the weed and the drinking, like seeing people and catching up and then, you know, someone grabbed my hand and said, come to my aunt's suite. I was like, what's in your aunt's suite? Everyone. I was like, alright, let's be a party in the aunt's suite. Go in the aunt's suite, fucking IKEA mirror. 40 people dead. Literally more than 10 people just railing lines and just like, you know, that's great. Isn't cocaine statistically the safest like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not anyone could. Safe, but not like safe. I would assume maybe non like, it could be cut with shit. Yeah. Let's say you just had pure cocaine. Isn't that like technically the least, I mean, yeah, you probably need quite a lot of it to have any sort of like heart issues. You know, mass heroin, you know, shit like that. Well, yeah, I mean, I was shot is not as bad as getting nuked. I mean, it's all relative, right? I would say like, ketamine is probably like similar modality of, you know, putting it up your nose, you know, into your fucking brain. It's a downer, isn't it? It's like, what would it be? It's like a... I've never seen somebody do ketamine. It's a dissociative that turns into a psychedelic at higher doses. So you like one or two bumps of ketamine will get you like wavy and drunk. Apparently, allegedly, I've never done ketamine either. Anything that I have to sort I, here's my one rule for drug use. Okay. No pills and no powders. It's my only way. That's very, very good. And the the only exception to that rule is pure tested MDMA is the only, only exception. You do MDMA? That's just scary. I feel like I'd start pumping a wooden post. No. It's not, it's not like That's what that's a saying. Fuck. Yeah, yeah. Does MDMA also make you hornies fuck? Yeah. It, it, it, I have Pistcome on MDMA. Okay, so see that's what I'm saying. I don't want a P-com. Holy shit. That was, it's just a side effect. Is it better to P-com or compede? I don't think, I don't, I probably, I read the P-com. Let me, let me, let me let me dispel. Let me dispel any, any Any. You wouldn't need condoms anymore if you come to pee. Yeah. But then like. Yeah. And then you'll never be able to, you know. Blow up a lady like a balloon full of pee. Well, you could piss in her butt. That'd be alright. Well, what are we talking about. We were talking about. Pissing. I pissed come. Not because like I came pissing I piss come cuz like and the name is a very a very strong van so constrictor so yeah okay see in bus so it's like it basically squeezed like the fluid out of my price thing you know I'm talking about so I was like pissing you got milked I was pissing out milk like yeah essentially like the the the the people who are so that's that's that's besides the point I do not to get into the nitty-gritty but yeah MDMA is the only exception to the rule that okay and it's and it's once every three months at the minimum but I don't do it minimum often anyways yeah no I don't don't do it the way every week don't do it the way every I was confused about the minimum instead of the maximum I have to have a quota to hit yeah oh man like minimum amount of time that you should wait in between oh okay okay I was like like like well you know it's about to be three months of air I'm not marking down the fucking calendar until I can do MD again and look MDMA is very fun and it's you know obviously it's a good thing to do with a lot of people it helps break down walls it helps break down like emotional barriers and you're able to connect with people and a way deeper a way deeper level and as well as it's good therapeutically they use MDMA for people with PTSD in you know talk therapy psychotherapy and just helps people break down their traumas or confront their traumas in a way that is helpful people do MDMA therapy and they get out of you know they get they stop drinking or they'll stop doing hard drugs or the step smoking so there's a therapeutic component to MDMA that I think is undeniable so that's my one exception to the rule but as long as it's tested I don't have pressed pressed pills because you can't test if you know was in them it could be speed it could be fucking fendt it could be you know idea that's the problem with hard drugs and the answer brother sweet that's why just just read for me just alcohol for me and the maybe so empty but no no cocaine no cocaine yeah I have a whole one three months that's my yeah I'll call somebody for me cocaine is too heavy for me and I'm worried that I would like it too much I would just like a beer no I'd drink beer I wish I'd like beer dude I want some on here to beer dude I was friends just like crack a cold beer on the golf course and you see like the condensation coming down the side I'm looking at my how it's good give me a picture and I have a sip of my oh it takes like horse piss it was just so crispy golfing of the beer was hot yeah actually put my first 18 whole course on Monday nice dude I will say okay I'm sort of alcoholic beverage I've been doing I don't know if these are Canadian specific they're called sandbaggers I don't know if you guys have them they're so good they're they're like these little mix like I think I want to say it's gin and there's like gin it's just a little mixed gin drink and the one I get is always like berries and it's just so fucking good it might be vodka but I think it's gin just like these little pre-mixed drinks those and a hot dog after the ninth hole and just right before the dude it's like it's pretty zesty like it's like it's a very light like it's light it's like six percent yeah if you guys ever tried mixing vodka we're hard liquor with gamer subs the legit yeah with you know with me that's right yes true the early days this was that this was that San Diego 2019 you guys were literally making shots with the game with gamer so it should with your yeah with misfits melon and then I remember that you guys ran out of vodka I want to say it was in your eye it was it was your fits I can't remember who was they're like oh what's right of vodka like what's your favorite alcohol and I was like I like whiskey and I thought you're just gonna make me a just a whiskey shot like just pour that and then somebody mixed the misfits melon with whiskey it was the worst things I've ever played vodka would be the one to go with yeah good he's not a good thing to mix with with gamers I would use a neutral spirit yeah no it was well everyone else was doing like vodka and shit and now I remember yeah I remember you guys brought it all over I think it was I was sitting with the Schlatt quite and low key I think it was Carson when we were on that little like elevated platform in the middle of the Airbnb that had the fucking there was a hidden compartment behind the bookshelf yeah and then there's the middle of the fucking room for some reason it was it was a car that no I think you drank that night I didn't see him drink he was he was not a fun guy he wasn't a fun guy well he's human he was not a mushroom can't you know my room was in my room we never really heard about him like no he was a straight-edge guy that's fair honestly what is going to do during his popularity was like 19 or something wasn't me yeah yeah you know that's fine I mean that's legal drinking aging most of the world just you know 21 for some fucking reason I don't understand why us is 21 and like everywhere else in the world is why is the freedom country 21 that's what I don't understand as well apparently it was to set people from fucking drinking and driving and dying super early when they were young so they can die at 21 but not I think it's fine if you want to have the drinking HB 21 in America I think that's fine but I think that there could there shouldn't be a discrepancy between the drinking age and the draft age I think if I am old enough yeah if you could serve in the war in the fucking army able to drink a fucking beer yeah if I get my legs blown off fucking overseas I should be able to have a fucking Miller light and a cigarette god damn it I also feel like either low-key like causes people to have worse relationships with alcohol as well because it's like oh it's almost demonized and when something is like when you're a kid when somebody says you can't have that thing you're just gonna have as much of that thing as you use you know next time you don't know the next time you're gonna be allowed to have this thing like a chance where you can't so like I feel like it causes people to drink way more words if you're like even Canada 19 is pretty fine with me I think it's a pretty reasonable you know reasonable age and it's like you know when I was like 17 my dad would slowly start offering me drinks and be like hey this is how you enjoy alcohol without like having a bad relationship with it you do that you have to do that with your kid you have to like in a controlled environment when they're 16 or 17 just get them drunk in there in your house make sure they're good you have to do that because they're not too young well I'm doing 15 yeah okay that's bad anything under like 17 I don't think you should have a 16 16 and being drunk don't go well no no no it's not about it's not about them growing the brain demands capacity it's about them being safe and them knowing their limitations and if they're gonna go behind my back and they're gonna drink I'd rather them do that no yeah and a control area okay that's being able to be so that they don't like irrevocably you know get alcohol poisoning at a party and then cowardly kids don't fucking get you know when I thought about yeah so I get it's important you know and in Italy the drinking age is like 13 but like you know nobody yeah giant rate of childhood alcoholism you know they'll know you know take a sip of wine it sucks you should sucks fuck this and then they don't touch it again they're not drinking fireball and shit over there like no going to frat parties and fucking no drinking jungle juice we do have a youth culture especially in America you know well in America where they they drink a line like France and college and that can you should I don't know about Asia I know we got Asia from yeah I don't know where he's going with that I know Asians love to fucking drink like drinking is huge a lot of that's like a way to cope yeah yeah no it's fully stress release it's not like a they're having fun it's it's like this is a terrible the Japanese the Japanese that are passed out on the street do not look like they're having fun with the no they're not having fun they're not doing that is a coping mechanism for their hellish life last time I was in Japan I remember seeing a bunch of people passed out like on the street yeah I'm thinking like damn should like I get this guy water no you're not you're not supposed to interact with apparently we're with like two natives there and like no no no no like yeah don't touch anybody especially especially if they're women yeah even if you're trying to help a lot of the time it's misconstrued as like something inappropriate and you get in trouble people people will think you you're you're trying to take advantage of them yeah and so then that you'll get you'll get you do take advantage of them does it like cancel out whether like oh yeah I just finger but like that's fun I think it's jail I think they would they would probably probably send you to jail they probably hold you for 30 days no trial until you agree that you did something wrong and then they'll deport you for like years wonder what Japanese jails like let's find out this apparently pretty bad apparently pretty bad do this I think we're like apparently when you go to like Japanese I never experienced this myself but if you go out to like Japanese nightlife like clubs and bars and shit there will be like this there's a culture of like you know if you're like a foreigner maybe you do better in the in like the playing field so to speak and you get more female attention and the native you know Japanese people don't like that and a lot of the time they'll just like get up go over if you're talking to a girl and they'll just take the girl away and if you know you can't do anything about it or if they can get mad at you right they get mad at you or they can just like fuck with you like if a native Japanese person got uppity with you at a bar and like pushed you and initiated a physical a physical confrontation and you let's say in quotes defending yourself in any way shape or form you're fucked you're so totally fucked because like they have the the final say like if they have these say you can barely speak you can't even speak the fun language so they go yeah this fucking white guy came over here he put his hands on me you know why you're fucked you cook and there's nothing you could do or say to get out of it what if you do speak like you speak language and you're like does make sure you could defend yourself but don't matter don't matter it's just one of those things where I don't mean a whole lot I think they just go with the fuck you'd be better off striking a kung fu pose the fucking Pull out a large gong from behind your back and just fucking Fucking put a commando. It's just a bunch of commando. Why you start out jampo-neasing them? Yeah, we're pretty good. You're frying up a piece of chicken for them. You like sort of you karate through like eight fucking planks of wood You karate chop a giant piece of tuna and a small edible pieces of tuna One slice like a thousand Pantana just don't think in a bunch of little squares. It looks it at the same time You just like pull it to the side and just they all fall apart you take you good So I think you do one of the you do like a and fucking Oh, I'm in jail for a year now which half a year Wait that are just now it's a quarter of the year Jail cell door falls The Japanese I can't wait to see again. I can't do it. I love I love Japan man It's such a fucking fun place to hang out there Prime Minister Japan Big big friend of the show would love to have you on Just it would be fantastic to talk, you know your country I Know it's a lady Miss John John Johnathan, I don't know what's a woman version of Joe Joe hand of Joe and Joe and Nathan Joe and a man Joe and pan Joe and pan. Joe and pan God. We're just a couple of quirky dudes Are we Japan a couple of quirky white guys? Magins just want to have What I have a strong dependent beautiful Prime Minister to come on the show big friend of the show would love to have you on Yeah, so we have the same Yeah, I don't think she's coming on though Yeah, well, you never know 100% of the shits you don't she's a busy gal, but I'm sure we can we can we can work something out I'm sure we can get like a minister or something my Japanese professor fucking hates her Well, yeah, she's She's a character. Yeah Yeah, I'm sure uh-huh It was her who said There's you do it. Japan. There was we should do it Japan with with with So we get Yeah, but just get Japanese people and then have like a massive language barrier Japanese people actually very smart and kids speak another language almost by default Yeah, a lot of speaking English, but there were a couple that were speaking English, but we got there in the end if you say What is it? I don't know what we trying to the kind of flagged ice key California role. I think that means I like a big tits Okay, see I was trying to figure out what that means. I was like, I don't really think you translated it from Japanese to Italian Yeah, okay. Yeah, no, no that they love Over there. No, they usually hit you with a Which is pretty good Yeah, me too I gotta say that just going back to the the president that Clip of Donald Trump talking To them is one of the funniest things that guy has ever done It was it was the context it was there. He's with the Japanese Prime Minister But he's there and she's there just having a normal Discussion and then a Japanese reporter I believe say something to the effect of Hey, you mr. Trump, you know president Trump. We think it's uh, you know It came as a surprise to your allies that you just you know, so bomb. They ran without consulting anyone It was just a big surprise. We have to say about that and he just goes Who knows better about surprises than Japan? You didn't tell us about Pearl Harbor You could you could probably like I Don't know you couldn't hammer a pin through they're prime minister's answer with that moment It was she was laughing she was trying not to laugh She pulled one of these first she went but she literally went Yeah, you could see her like you don't have face or your mouth closed really hard not to yeah, like She couldn't believe that he said I think she's trying not to laugh the funniest part about that is you know Oh, you didn't want to spend Pearl Harbor Didn't we actually know that Pearl Harbor was gonna happen, but we let it happen as it used to get into the war like I don't know it Lord about probably history. I would not believe that well, that's what I know 9-11 Yeah, I'm good. We Why isn't it all allegedly a Regidry we will never know nothing Fuck is a reg on a re Sounds like a Pokemon Regi re that Is retarded Regi rock always thought it was really fascinating the whole thing with like some some Asian countries, especially Japan and they don't pronounce the or Yeah, and you know Yeah, which is which is very So like Same sound of them as well. Apparently. Yeah, apparently it's something like they can't hear the difference Yes, they literally cannot hear the difference. It is the same thing. I can't even do the difference and It's it's weird cuz that's where ramen comes from. I may have already said this before Yeah, ramen ramen comes from Lomain yes, the Chinese Lomae Roman Roman Roman Which is crazy. Yeah, yeah, they just they I mean I'd say with age It's who and foo are the exact same noise to them. They just they don't Some people think it's racist to say I want a remnant sour when you're in Japan, but it's not no it's easier Yeah, I mean if you just go like the the fucking Call to Connor, I would just make it racist. There's a lot of words like you like when I You yeah, like literally show me. Oh, what did I do is Jimu? I guess this is Jim Jimu Pancake breakfast jerk. Oh jerk to awful. Probably not Yeah, it's it's fucking hilarious it's wild There's that's what I think I found it out when I was getting into Japanese baseball when I was younger Oh, yeah, cuz it's all American terms. They just Beesoo Beesoo Baloo Everything everything. Yeah, fucking everything. It's like tell their brains to not add an ooo at the end of everything. I Mean I guess that's what's like. I don't know why Americans had corn syrup to everything. It's like the same vibe They just do it We have a lot of fuck you dude Enjoy your flavorless food, bro Sensitive topic Fuck you my bad, dude A golf ball did I hear that right did I hear that noise? You've been golfing you've been golfing a lot of time. Yeah 18 18 holes that's a lot 18's of the vibe I just don't understand how Anybody can do 18 holes after two. I'm like shooting blanks. I'd be exhausted. That's kind of where I was going with the joke You did it better though Thanks, thanks All right, I would down I'll work you out there with a little bit more job ready office fun I'm moving on to a golf course and I'm very excited Yeah, my Getting a new house built currently and it backs onto a golf course my favorite golf balls No, it's like luckily. There's no unless somebody is actually genuine Fucking retard mode. No, like there's no you'd have to try to do it There's no way you could get a ball in my yard naturally But it backs on to one of my favorite holes So you I could do it I can't straight and I could shoot far unless you were hitting it a bus your shit with your putter on a part It's a par five and unless you're hitting it like 150 yards Yeah, so you're expect so what par is is the expected amount of strokes to get it in the hole. Yeah Let's go being a scratch golfer. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. Yeah, it's that's if you get it in five That's what you're supposed to do. Obviously are on every hole in 18 course. You were like a really good You're like top percent of the top percent like anybody who breaks 80 shots total is is usually considered pretty solid I call yeah Like you could easily be a pro getting par every every Not a pro. I mean you can get in like like you're close to getting to Birdie And I'd play with somebody who's a pro and they were fucking Substance Like doing doing it one under it's one under it's what whatever party Eagle and eagle is to two. Yeah, unless it's a part three Yes Yeah And then I think There's a whole one There's any par six is I ain't I ain't ever seen a motherfucker hit an elbow choice before One of my buddies. It was craziest fucking thing ever you have to drive like I didn't So what if someone we thought he lost an elbow choice if someone told me they hit an elbow choice golf and I would I'd say how many feathers explode Did you eat it? Is it okay I go what the fuck we knew the ocean Yeah, dude is wild one of my friends got an elbow choice and we literally spent like five minutes looking for his ball everywhere He's like dude. I feel like I hit it so fucking good Like I don't know how I lost it. I thought it'd be close to the green. I was like, I don't know man It's fucking sometimes it happens. I put I played out the whole he didn't want to play the looks he was annoyed He's like I have literally two balls left for like five holes. I'm not gonna risk it and I just played out the rest of the Hole I'm gonna go pick up my balls like There's another ball in you dude The fuck wings tweaking Wow fucking wild About playing a real course is how much time you have to spend looking for your fucking ball Yeah, yeah, if you miss the fairway and if the rock is long have fun pal Yeah, I really spend most of the time in the Mario Kart looking for my ball I recently just got a colored fucking balls cuz like I Just feel like I like your glove on still that is so funny. He's such a rock star It's a ghost Never heard of that brand I just be using foot joy. It's these are $50 a glove Love I love foot joy because you just see FJ and I just fucking Like literally wearing a foot job hat right now This is actually it was a blanket and I bought a patch off eBay and it's like super good to do it You didn't just buy titles after like I have to customize some shit Yeah, it's hard No, I usually I usually play a scramble and I usually just drop where the other person is that I'm playing with So there we go Oh, I'm so nasty verse verse me Fucking I would get Don't it you can be our cart girl. I honestly I don't think I would be do that bad a golf maybe a little bit But not not horrendous. Okay. I've golfed one time for a video I Remember that video and to be the last misfits video. No, no, no, that was that was that the last misfits video was Comedy oh, that's right The golf court thing was like maybe two or three years before then damn it was we were golfing. Yeah We Tore up a golf field absolutely like It rained the night before and it was super They gave us four golf coins and we just ripped the shit up dude. Oh, that's bad the fucking field They told us to never ever come back again, that's a valid crash out honestly Which which is fair and I mean we were playing bumper coins with the golf course And I was smoking weed and driving the golf court with a helmet on And crashing into the other golf course, but yeah, that's the sides the point. It's not ideal Or an exclusive golf club in Melbourne. No, it is not ideal. It's It's actually less than ideal. Yeah, that's I am a changed person and You know, I would only have respect from now on You've got it you've got it all you've got on it. I mean look I was there just you already did you know You can't change that flow. It's one of those things where you know, you drive you drive to the next hole You go up a hill and you look behind you and then there's just tracks From the golf cart That's like just into the green and I'm just like dude. I don't think we're supposed to be like drive into the Golf course that I went to if you try to drive up into like the putting area it'll like your car will die Shut off. Yeah, that's pretty common nowadays. Oh, wow Yeah, you're not here These holes. Yeah, it was you know, I understand It costs a lot of money to like They probably they probably did charges the thing is I didn't have to deal with any of that bullshit The management did all I did was show up to the shoot and do what I had to do and then you know I went holy fuck. This is a mess And I didn't want to go home Yeah, but you know, I understand, you know, obviously it's uh, Not not good etiquette and you know, I I will take off very seriously Very very regretful having done that and I would never Disrespect the field like that in that capacity again. I did not know it was my first time golfing I was gonna fucking In case tiger woods your friend of the show good friend of the show is watching Yeah, I don't think after my last super battle of golf thumbnail, he's a good friend of the show anymore I thought it was funny. I put his mug shot in the tipped over golf cart It was not a good one tiger tiger understands we're panels like that, but yeah, no, we're yeah, we're chill like that He thinks it's funny if you want to come on the show and you know talk about golf We can do drugs. You know, we do some drugs. We can we talk about, you know We can talk about hot gals. I know you like We can we can fucking drive a Bentley in a school zone 90 miles an hour into a tree. Yeah We wrote a song about we did actually write a song about that except he wasn't drunk. He's always on drugs way less one Really? No, it's a dui, but it's never alcohol. It's always zero percent alcohol in the system. He just Oh On painkillers because he gets back surgery every three minutes pops it pops his sizzle Yeah, I mean he just he'd be getting he'd be getting surgery and shit all the time If I were Tiger Woods, I'd be chugging lean. I mean, yeah, what I honestly like At that point you're a billionaire Everyone no matter what you do is going to love you and defend you you could kind of just do whatever you want You can literally crash in He didn't do that. Yeah Kanye's coming back and you know, he sold out like this thing in LA and then you have the like literally this the County like the whole fucking town Said no, we're actually not gonna do this. Yeah He was a Nazi a fucking year ago. Like what are we doing? Okay, but he made graduation does that not fucking count? Is that a matter anymore? Is it not that guy? So many passes we fucking being a terrible human being We've all been off of neuro divergent. We've all been off of remed's We've all been off of remed's before and said something that we regret we regretted it You know, you you something I understand I understand but you can only move A lot like destroying Is something that can can be can be remedied it could be regrown being a Nazi selling a shirt with a swastika Okay, okay Or he has a diamond swastika you talk out with fucking nick flinted Okay, okay, all right. Okay. All right. You're just gonna let the Nazis take the swastika away from the hindus You and give them the pain it's facing the other direction Okay, you never look in a mirror before you never looked in a mirror you face the other direction Does that really change are you calling Hindu people Nazis? No, no, no Oh, oh god Yeah, you kind of did do that If you look in the mirror, it's the same It's the same example just reversed It only has as much power as you give it if if we let Dude, you sound like a little one like 17 year old white dudes trying to say the n-word. This is like their same logic And there's only as much power as you give it Get your fucking teeth knocked out. Yeah, doesn't mean anything you can learn I understand there's consequences to your actions like let's let's not pussyfoot around here We kind of did what is unacceptable in very very bad but I just want to I just want to hear him out I'm tired of hearing him out bro. We heard him out and he can't use a Nazi when he heard him out Yeah, I want to look I don't agree with him to hear out a nine mil to his temple I'm listening now I don't agree with his lyrics. I don't agree what he stands for but I will say that if you did not speak english That hill hiller song he put out was actually kind of good Dude that was like six months ago That song wasn't even a year ago, but if it was in korea If you didn't if you didn't speak english and you just listen to it on its face you'd say this is a really good song Super muddy What not good production on it. So actually I wouldn't think it's a good song. It was it was probably produced it in an hour Yeah, it was like really muddy and shitty and like not good Very uninspiring. I I understand why you'd want to hate on it. It's it's a very very hateable song I'm good. Yeah, man. It's a song about being a white supremacist. It's very very hateable Written by a black man. Does that not count for anything? No I just want to know what the um the call to action was to be in the music video like what like what we need for We need We need proud muscular black man to stand in a line wearing fur lines written by guy scream hail hitler Maybe maybe maybe they thought he was saying Uh mail maybe maybe they thought it was like hail maybe they thought hail hitler is in like it's raining hail on hitler And he's gonna hurt him. Yeah, he's yeah, I'd hurt him. He's like how how are we my head? Um, like hail on hitler hail him Like dad, please hail. They're asking like that. Oh, they're like asking the space uh Jewish space laser Yes, Jews change the weather to hail to that's actually run hitler. Yeah, that's real lore. They do yeah Wasn't that actually I'm gonna sound like a mignasty here. Wasn't there actually something about what he's sucking on a golf ball right now Mignasty, I wouldn't do that. That's literally how you get like macro plastics in your balls You're gonna be able to make like a credit card from your balls. I'm more worried about choking. I'm more worried about choking on air Yeah, but imagine how funny that would be Funny to me died on the podcast that was like I thought I saw a grizzly die in a recording like two weeks ago Really? He choked on a hot dog. It was fucking insane. I was facetime. No, I almost he almost died on facetime He had literally had to run away from his setup. He threw his headphones and had a hot dog sticking out of his mouth It was really like I think you should leave skate when he chokes on the hot dog at lunch What were you doing when I watched I think you should leave Grizzly would have died from a glizzy. I would I just like oh that would be fucked Especially while it's facetiming him like I would have just been it it really would have been a call back to how me and grizzly Our friendship blossomed off of him eating while I'm in the call He used to literally edit a video for the guy who was working for the guy would pay him like 40 bucks And grizzly would just spend all of it on dominoes and then sit in the call and eat while I played video games And he was like 15. It's so funny Thanks the grand shirt right there. Yeah a little 10 years ago the lord grizzly lord Yeah, that was crazy. I thought he's gonna die watch the hot dog smear across his forehead It's kind of kind of hot low-key He like he's gotta one of he got he's literally got one of those like one foot hot dogs from I think it's sonic or is it two feet Oh the foot long coney dog or whatever. Yeah, it's like a long fucking hot dog And he was holding it up and the bun was so wet that the bun fell down So like half the bun was like this I should be the other half was like dropped down and drooping And he thought the hot dog was in the drooping bit So he went to bite the drooping bit the hot dog just like slid up because hot dog was still straight So just like slid up his Dude, what am I looking at? That was so fucking funny that guy is absolutely retarded when he's drunk So I don't remember talking about you're sucking on balls. We were we were talking about Before this Jewish space leagues, you know where you're going with that Wow, where did I go with that? Well, it's because I was sucking on a golf ball and you were like, whoa Oh, you're gonna get macro plastics in your balls. You're gonna get a credit card out of there I was actually thinking about just replacing a ball with the whole golf ball wasn't our actual Fucking lord that the Jews were trying to change the weather I mean you can do cloud seating and stuff like that. I don't know what you mean by the Jews Israel Okay, yeah, I mean it wasn't something like Jewish guy in New York making a bagel My friend my friend my friend Dave friendly wasn't like how are we gonna change the weather today? No, I don't think so. No, sorry. I should say Israel Israel I got no beef for the Jews. I love you live you live in a desert I'd be trying to change the fucking weather too. They don't really live on a desert though Israel's like Pretty fucking green Unless you go like southern towards like jordan's from over there. I have no idea what any israel town like looks like I get israel quite a lot in geoguessir and it's actually pretty a nice place when I picture israel in my mind I picture like donkeys a picture Jesus amongst the donkeys a picture Maybe like a virgin Mary Yeah, they got like two thousand fucking years ago They're like partying in nightclubs and shit and fucking yeah, no, they just be doing shit Changing the weather getting fucking high off molly and you know bomb and Lebanon and shit Making the mario movie welcome, which thank you for that. Thank you I agree with I agree with everything that is going on just don't send me to the food. I love israel Hey Israel is real israel is a friend of the show can we get benton benjamin netanyahu on the show Friend of the he already on the show he listened in the show whether we like it or not Comments on every one I think no or a good friend benjamin benjamin netanyahu sign filled actually We should get cream ben yahoo comments down below um, you know, we'll we'll pin the comment We'll have you on this do not mention war crimes. Just don't even don't ignore them What war crimes look away from the countless war crimes Don't even know you're telling me what war crime. I don't know what you're saying But I don't think that is i don't think there's any What war crimes? No, they're speeding. What were they fucking speeding? Maybe a war citation. Maybe not a war All right, we just talking about anything else We go anything else, um I ran How about those gas prices? Okay going back to uh p cum or cum p both I I've done both I So I want to say I would rather I'd rather p cum. Would you rather sneeze cum or piss shit? Sneeze cum. Sneeze cum. Does the shit come out of my dick? Yeah, like a poop noodle No, whatever option is not that Do literally Like fucking play-doh hair The size of those shits would be like he's passing a kidney stone Imagine the yeah, you could send a mani like coiled up like spaghetti My dick would be like Spacarify blow up Your dick would be good enough to be able to like shape the poop into the noodle It's always a soft poop. It's never a hard turd Why'd you say that kind of the cadence of donald trump? It's never hard poop. It's never hard We don't like having a lot of fiber makes your poop real hard What if it's diarrhea every time would you rather piss diarrhea or sneeze cum? Sneeze cum still. I'm gonna say would you rather sneeze diarrhea? I can't say that because I'm the same thing I've done that. I don't want to do anything with any of you. Would you rather have to pick boogers out of your asshole? What was it what was the other option of what was the other option of of diarrhea nose? What oh, I well I was gonna say piss cum but that would just be coming Would you rather have your cock exploded or come when you pee? Would you rather come when I pee that's his question. Okay, wait hold on hold on hold on hold on all right Fuck every time you burp some doodoo comes up. All right or lose your legs I'm talking a lot shit from the bot comes out your mouth. I'm gonna I'm gonna You're coughing up a turd Am I losing my legs below the knee or am I losing my legs below the thigh? You get to keep dick But yeah, thigh I keep But like let's say It's gone Welcome Matt with a raging boner. I have enough money to get prosthetics that would make me About six two six three so I plan to go with that. There you go. You can do that I'm these guys are gonna be burping up turds. I I do I am burping turds I like my legs I think more more than I but think about never have to hit a leg day again It's like doing yeah leg day is kind of great honestly, uh, but you could literally talk shit See that's not a flex though There's poop bacteria going into your stomach every time is it always a solid turd or is it just like a little like boba It's like a nugget a boba Like a hamster. It's like a nugget like a I'd say like like a berry a dingleberry Yeah, I was gonna say like the size of a strawberry like a small strawberry. That's big. That's a lot It's a turd That's like the end of it. Well, that's not a turd. It's like a Hershey kiss. How's that? Either way I'm I'm I'm coughing poop or whatever it was Pushing you bitches like your legs too much Yeah, there's not enough legs in the world to make me eat do do Because like what do you spit it out like you burp accidentally at dinner If someone if someone pointed at gunnamie said I fucking spit the turd out and do an api if someone pointed at gunnamie And said eat this turd or I'm gonna chop your legs off I'd probably eat the turd But if someone was like drink this potion and you'll fucking eat shit every day for your rest of your life Or you had no no legs if you said no legs. Yeah. Yeah, I agree So do is the only one coughing up do do I'm not taking questions. I'm coughing up do do Okay, okay. Okay. He likes his legs. What do you even do with him, bro? Runs it I separate hours a day make videos I'm usually my legs I do run but I mean, I guess if you lose your legs then I'm doing cardio on my hands. Just get new legs. You know, yeah We have the financial ability to just buy legs. You could just be like you run if you take them off Yeah, the book of the paralytics. They're guys are going crazy. Yeah Bionicles running around and then when they fall they just look like a yard sale like all their shit comes off It was a spread out across the pavement. Yeah, they they they fucking die like a lego character Get it by car just a lego noises But for real, that's like some shit that you know There's a sober lining to getting into a car accident and losing your legs Because then you then you know, you get a lot of there's a lot of freedom that comes with Being able to change your limbs. Yeah. Have you not seen there's this one guy? I feel really bad not knowing it. Um Who was the CEO who lost both his legs and was a mountain climber? But I feel like you could it's kind of nerfed that somebody could just put a garbage pail over you like you're a spider And you just you hear You hear is one thing of you have no he's no you hear H U G H E or R. He lost both of his legs below the knees due to a fraspite accident from climbing And it was in like an 82 he lost him when he was 17 And he should had to be amputated his partner He was with long sports of the leg and fingers too, but he made a comeback You know the doctors told him you'll never be able to climb again. You have no legs But he was like what are you talking about? I don't worry about frostbite again Well, he says this is perfect for climbing because now he's less weight and he can design like his own Like his own prosthetic limbs to be to to have spikes and hooks and be able to climb easier So he like developed all these prosthetic legs and he had this whole philosophy Philosophy of like oh, I I don't feel that confident today. I'm gonna wear my tall legs And oh, I feel like I'm getting too much confidence. I'm gonna wear my short legs And oh, you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna you know, he had like legs with wheels and shit on him and he runs a whole bionics company Where you can get like robotic limbs you can get like a robotic With with with knees that move you can walk upstairs you could run And and it's it's it's fucking like day six. It's really impressive He could do the like longest funny funny moment of all time if you put like giant legs in he was like six foot five Yes, we see your tone And he just what we see your sexy tone dimes, by the way We get it And then the straight as I can see your long your long head is very toned I can tell you just you're working it really well Also slag correction you here is not a CEO of any company, but he leads the bio Biomechatronics group at the mit media lab megatronic Megatronics, it's what was I saying? Oh, yeah, Trump is a robot. You could be six foot five Mary of woman tell her yeah, I had to make these legs off the same height I am Then you have a kid And then the kid comes out and it's like five foot six and you go yeah These legs are like two feet longer than my normal ones. No, that's what you turn it around That's what you turn around and go what the fuck you're genetics. What do you have like a short-ass grandparent? Your legs can't be real bitch. You're a fake like funny. Just hit the long how could you? Dude people do that all the time though like shut very sexy very sexy chinese ladies That I will will marry you and have your babies But it'll actually turn out that they had a lot of plastic surgery and their kids end up looking like frogs. Yeah That's is that not deception is that not it's kind of hilarious low-key Because then you have to pay for the plastic surgery so that your kids don't look like toad. Yeah, it's like a kanya and uh kim's kid they look dumb Whoa, Tom they look like normal kids, bro They look like normal human beings Every kanya feature and like none kim. Well, that's what kanya wanted in in one of their fucking ghost town or where the song is Leave kanya's kid out of this guy. Damn it What I fucking fucking bugger at you Anyway, if you look at bugger at me, I would be I would be forced to clean myself with you shiki danka and four slash goons There is one It looks like you're in here Good bugger good good bugger. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this episode of the podcast Make sure you leave a like and subscribe for watching on youtube if you're on spotify download and comment uh and uh and uh use code goons on gamers of dot gg to get 10 percent off And if you go to use cheeky dot com slash goons put down a five store review Of what you thought what did you think about it put some fucking reviews in there You bought it give us five stars unless you didn't think it was five stars then give us what you think It was five stars give us at least four stars Five stars But if you really be a little bitch It was warm give us five stars Thanks for listening five stars. Goodbye