Egg Roll Takes a Ride

Happy New Year, bad friends. Well, 2026. I got a couple of shows I'm going to be doing. Windsor, Ontario, Canada, January 16th. Right after that, I'm in Bethlehem, PA. Come out. Also, Hanover, Maryland, then I'm in Atlantic City. Then down by San Diego, Bobby's hometown, Valley Center, which is inland a little bit, but by San Diego, then I'm in Kenyonville, Oregon. And then Bob and I are doing a show in Lincoln, California. Yeah, Lincoln. Bad friends live over in Thunder Valley, Casino up there by Sacramento. Then I'm doing the win Casino in Las Vegas. And finally, the little rowdy fest out in Providence, Rhode Island in March. Go to Andrew Santino dot com for those tickets, Andrew Santino dot com. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Like David, and as you do, you two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something bad friends. Your mom fell and you didn't help her really said what? Rudy said you didn't help your mom because she was next to her. It's your mom. I know I understand that. But when your mom falls, everyone knows this role, when your mom falls, whoever's the closest picture, everyone knows that. That sounds like a good one. Yeah, yeah. She fell over and before I could respond, Jules was already picking her up. And also, it's like when you're falling off of a chair, dude, it's a matter of work. Yeah, it's what's going on. Well, when you reach a certain age, you're going to fall and your mom fell while we were in Phoenix, and I felt a little bad. Why? Because it's sad when old people fall. It is fall because they said it's fall. It's winter. It is a fall. No, she fell over and I saw Jules do the movement of picking her up. So I didn't bother. But Jules did the fake where you're like, oh, but you didn't really. She didn't really know she did. Oh, really? Yeah, she's a caring person. She is. And then my mom goes, I like her. Yeah. Yeah. We had a great time in Phoenix. We were opening for Shane Gillis, who probably once again cracked a record of ticket sales out there in Phoenix. The guy was incredible. 20,000 something like that. Norman, you, me, McCusker, Nate would align up. It was an unbelievable line up. The black eye. Nate Nate. Yeah, he's awesome. When I was on stage, I was like, Rotto Plus for San Tino, McCusker, Norman. Because I forgot that black eye. Yeah, I was going to say black guy, but I thought in front of 18,000 people, I don't think there's just so calm up there and in control. You have to be. Yeah, yeah. I think if you go up there and you shone the semblance of like nerves, I was more nervous yesterday for the special Olympics. Oh, dude, bro, let me say something about that. What's the funny? You're a great catcher. You were a really good catcher. Yeah, I'm a good catcher. Dude, no, and he was throwing it back with like some heat on it. Yeah, yeah, it was pretty good. With a serious face. No, he was genuinely in the Yamamoto style, dude. Yeah, I'm a little showhade, dude. Well, that's two different guys, but you know, that's not showhade. Yamamoto. Yeah, it can be. No, dude, I have those Asian baseball skills. You really do. Yeah, yeah. It's like him. It's in your blood. I can tell the way you set up to the ball, the way you throw. Yeah, I didn't want to bet because I don't want to like Barry Bill Burr. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you're a man. Yeah, you didn't want to say it. Because Chrysher and Burr showed up. Let me, can I just say something about the special Olympics thing event you did? Yeah. I was, I felt, I was sitting there in the stands watching you coach them. And I was like, and then it's your event. And I was like, what a good guy he is. You're a really good guy. No, no, you're a good person, dude. It was fun, man. Yeah. I think it's a bad thing to do for you to take your day out like that and get everyone to go. Chris was there doing the announcing. Nick was killing it. He was killing it. And I will say and shout out to the people that showed up. And, and Frankie, can you on us came as creeper as creeper, Cholo Fett. Did you, were you there? No, where was he? Oh, bro, it was so sick. He came later because he had something to do in earlier in the day, but he missed it. And creeper showed up. And he was like, he was like walking up to the mountain. He's like, hey bro, pitch on the pitcher. And he was, he was throwing pitches and he was dancing like robot in between pitches. Oh, dude, he's one of the funniest guys. Funniest dude I love. Frankie, you're gonna do so, so dope. And then he went up to everybody as creeper and like took photos and was talking to them and stuff. Yeah. It was, dude, it was such a fun. He's a good dude. It was a super fun day. Yeah. But just the, um, that you do, you do care. And I, um, oh yeah. I want to get involved. I, I got to do a charity. I think we should, we should do more. No, I want my own charity. What do I do? What charity would, who needs the most money? Yeah, I just want to be able to participate here. You know, we, you know what we should do? We should do big brother where we like a, because we don't have kids, so we should like adopt, you know, like big brother, like you take them on the weekend to do cool shit. Young kids without, how many times, huh? How many times do you do it? It depends on the person. It depends on the person. Every weekend? That's not every weekend. Yeah. It could, it could be shifts. It is a commitment for a few years. It is. It is. Until they, can we choose, can we choose the kid or no? You're usually assigned. You spin a wheel. Really? Oh, that's cool. Puerto Rico. Yeah. It think it's awesome. And you, and you take him out, and you kick him with him, you take him to go eat food to play video games like, dude, we are big kids, you and I. We're essentially just big kids. That's, we're doing big brother. I think it's you. Yeah. What do, do I get a weekend alone? You take the kid, you take the young, because I'm going to slow the fuck out of the kid. I know. Well, no, no, they tell, they do tell you you got to be careful with that. Why? research on the people, you know, and back on background checks and all of that. Yeah. Now you're the foreigner. Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to? I have no criminal history. I have no criminal history. I've had one for a long time. So we would take her, I mean, it was big brothers big sisters. So I could do the same with girls. And we would take a business line and things like that. Yeah. So if I took our little brother, our little brother, right, to Disneyland, the foundation would be like, nah, no, no, it's all good. But there, but there, I think there's, you can do the VIP thing that you like. I'm doing the VIP. Yeah, yeah. Lightsaber's the whole thing. I mean, I like saber. You get three of them. I don't think that's the move. Yeah. Like you break all those rules and give them a magical day. I think big brother, big sisters, rad we should get them. Yeah. No, we should do it. I got you a little gift, by the way. This is from my friends. My friends at at Betonardi, the putter guys, the putter company that I love. They made you custom chomp sticks. Look at all say that. Are you being real? 100% Take them out. Look at how sick those things are. These are so sick, dude. And they're like high quality. I think you like the purple, right? I do. They're a little heavy, though. Yeah, but heavy is good. Yeah, heavy is good. Hmm. Smooth, baby. Yeah. They look so natural. I think they're really mine. Yeah, they're made for you. Okay. Thank you. Custom. The leather, you can smell the leather. Love the smell of leather. Yeah, I really do. And then it says, be on it. Is that, that's B for Bobby? No. Yeah. Are you being real? That's a, that's your name. Yeah. Wow. Thank you so much. That's going to be over six months. At least one of the guys will take it home. Yeah. They'll take some of the scraps. Are you drinking coffee right now? It's 8 p.m. Yeah. What's going on? Are you got a set tonight? No. So you want you to do, because I go down to the hallway. I go down to the lobby at Phoenix to go get the car. He's already down there. He's cruising, but he's wide awake. And I was like, oh, someone's, so it's nice to know what he's like. I never went to bed. Oh, I didn't sleep. I'm not kidding you. Like four days in a row. I would get like a couple hours. But it's like, now you're not dreaming. You're just laying there. Right. And you're having horrific thoughts. You're drowning. You know what? Fire. Oh, that's enough. That's not normal. Yes, it is. No, to have like just negative thoughts when you can't sleep. Yeah, where I'm trapped in a mine. I mean, Tony, Tony, and like, you know, it rubble up to my neck, right? Tony. Yeah, yeah. Tony Henshi was like, what the fuck do you want? Yes, not that Tony, but it could be. Death in a dream may not actually be dying. Instead, it often represents change. The closing of a chapter at the end of life, as you know it. Mm-hmm. It could be. I don't think you're even close to dying. Yeah, yeah. You know, I've death dreams a lot. It's not healthy. Who dies in your dream? I'm always close to death. I'm all usually on a plane that's crashing. But they see that if you really dying a dream you're dying real life, is that true? I don't know. Yeah, Google it. What? You wake up. Justin. No, no, no. Yeah, but you, but if you really dying a dream, that mean you dying real life. That's what I heard. How would we know that? You wouldn't. That's a thing. So who would know that that's true? What? Dying dream does not mean you dying real life. It's a common myth. It's a huge myth. That was a movie. It's a common myth. It's like, yeah, yeah. Well, I believe in this. Dude, I'm a myth guy, dude. You're a huge, I'm a myth guy, dude. You know what I mean? I love fables. I love myths. Yeah, I mean, I love stories of all kinds. Give me a fable. What? Give me a fable. Well, long ago, Idiamoloo from, um, what? Idiamoloo. Idiamoloo. Yeah. You know the story. I've heard it. Yeah, I wanted to. He was a farm boy. A farm. Oh, was it a farm boy? Yeah. In a little island, in digits of island. He was farming on an island. Indigenous island. So he's farming for Indigenous people on an island? He is Indigenous. So you're just getting food for himself? That could have said it that way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Indigenous, right? Not Indigenous. Idiamoloo. Idiamoloo. Idiamoloo. Are you saying Idiamoloo? No, not Idiamoloo. That guy's a bad guy. What do you do? He slaughtered people. How many? I don't know. Millions? Idiamoloo. Yeah. I think I know what I mean. What? I didn't know that was a real person. Yeah. Look up Idiamoloo. How many people did Idiamoloo? I thought you made up a name. I didn't go to college. Now Idiamoloo. I don't know what's going on there. He wrote Idiamoloo. Yeah. Idiidiidii. Yeah, there he is. Look at him. Idiamoloo. Idiamoloo. Yeah. How many people did Idiamoloo? I mean kill. Kill count is so funny to type in. 5500, a half a million. He's good. Pretty good. Not the best. Not the best. Paul Pot was better. Way better. Yeah. Paul Pot was so good. Well, he was an eight year ruler of the President of Uganda. He approximately killed. That's a huge gap. A hundred grand to 500 grand. 400,000 people is a big gap. But if you do it incrementally, not at one time. Yeah, it's like what's his name? Sleeping with all those women, Will Chamberlain. Yeah. It's kind of like if you did it over time, we did the math. It's like seven a day. Yeah. Half a million people do that's crazy. And for what? Power. It's power. That's what he was doing. One of the power. I'm so guilt-ridden. There's no I could even do one for power. You couldn't kill one person. No, there's not one person you think about. It depends on what they did. Let's say I'm a general of some sort of small country. Somewhere far away. You're my lieutenant and you ask me, you tell me what happened and I'm going to say I want them killed or not. Yes, sir. Yes. One of our ends. What's your name? Makta. Makta. What's up, dog? I haven't seen you around a long time, Makta. Yes, sir. How's the family? Very good, sir. Yeah, yeah. Makta. Yes. I don't want that. That's your makeup something. Oh. Make up. Makta. Makta. Makta. So anyway, anyway, what's the problem, Makta? Somebody came to our barracks while we were sleeping. Kill him. Kill him all. His whole line. His family line. All right? Uncle's hands. He was just dropping off food. Door dash? Yeah. Yeah, kill him all. In fact, kill everyone that's doing door dash right now. No, it would have to be like, they destroyed a village, right? And they, you know, for no reason. Yeah, for no reason or something. Imagine being a soldier in door dashing something while you're waiting for war. That'd be amazing. And some guys, I'm rushing guys like, door dash, drops it off. He's like, I have to get a picture of you with it. I don't know. I always have to get a fucking photo. I was like, you handed it to me. And he's like, I need photo. The guy dropped off last week, dropped off pizza. I was like, thanks, Mak, as I saw him at the front gate. Thanks, man. And he's like, wait, wait, wait, wait. And I was like, I need a picture. And I was like, he's like a picture of delivery. I was like, oh, okay. So then I was like, well, I don't want to be in it. So I put the pizza back out and like, close the door. So it's just my hand holding the pizza. That's the photo. And I was like, good. He's like, okay. And I took it back inside because I don't want to be holding the pizza for in his photo. Yeah. I don't know what they do. They upload that to the app for proof that they dropped it off. And in my neighborhood now, there's fucking robots everywhere. I love them. I hate them. They don't go to your neighborhood. They can't get up there. They can't get up there. I live in the hills. Yes, he does. But I got a pizza from the hills have slanted eyes. That's good. That'd be a funny movie. That's a horror movie. The Wayans Brothers present. The hills have slanted eyes. I got a pizza from Prince. And the dude left it on the ground. And I was playing video games. I'll get in 30 minutes. Mistake. Tell me what happened. He got eaten by coyote. No. Ants. Oh, yeah, dude. It got in there, dude. I opened it up. It was just filled with ants. Oh, yeah. It was just filled with ants. Oh, my God. You waited 30 minutes. Yeah, but there's a little table. Did you eat it outside my... What? No. I threw it away. There's a little table next to my front door that you put the shit on. Did you just put it on the ground? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it pissed me off. You should say in the app, you can say please leave on table. Yeah. You can put it in the notes. Yeah, I should do that. I give them notes all the time. What are your notes? Don't come near my house. Drop it off on the sidewalk. Pick up the dog shit in the yard on the road. Yeah. No, I give them notes if it's like, hey, I'm not gates open. I'm not there. Just drop it off inside the gate. Because a lot of times they like, if they see, sometimes I'll have like a delivery and if the gate's not open, they'll just leave. Yeah. I've seen them just like leave. I'm like, wait, wait, wait. Where are you going? Yeah. It's the weird, I'm like, just throw it over the fence or whatever it is. Yeah. Do you do priority? Oh, I don't know. That's a scam. What? Dude, I'll do priority and not to test that theory out with this years ago. Yeah. They're not years. Whatever. When it first started, we tested it. It was almost the same time. And you just pay five more bucks. It doesn't even make sense. So they don't go to your house first? No, they don't. They do not do that. That's a lie. Because I've done both ways. I don't know. It's been the same. They definitely. You can tell if the food's warmer cold. I feel like it's always cold. No matter what I get, it's cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't ever get a warm. And you, you wait 30 minutes. It's always cold for you. Yeah. I don't think I've got something today that was so fucking cold. You know what it was? Ice cream. Am I fired? I'm not fired today. Am I fired today? Settle down. What kind of ice cream did you get? I like butter pecan, rocky road, mint chip. Those are my top three. That's top three. I don't do this new shit. Like, you know what I mean? Go cheese. You know what I mean? Dandelions. And, you know, I mean, Baccholava chavings. So good. You know how they do that? Yeah. It's like, fuck off. So good. No, Dan. You never had coffee toenails? I don't do coffee toenails. One of my favorites. Yeah. You got to get over to what is it? Salt and straw. They're the ones that do that. Yeah. Sometimes they'll put one out that that is genuinely. It's like lavender fart. And you're like, sorry. Yeah. And they're like, it's one of our college kids made it this morning. Yeah, it's like they experiment. Yeah. Which is fun. But Pair and blue cheese. I had that. It's actually fucking. That's good. The one you're talking about is black olive brittle and goat cheese. Yeah. Get the fuck out here. I get the fuck out here. It's not ice cream. Duck skin? Well, duck skin. Yeah. You think that's good? I mean, it's probably from a Chinese restaurant for sure. Yeah. Creepy crawler critters. This is all salt and straw. Yeah. Which is, you know, probably one of the best ice cream places on planet Earth. It's got, there's a lot. There's a lot more. But I'm more old school. Like I could just do like a van louing guy. No, I could just do fucking basking Robins, dude. You get a banana roll. Yeah. You're out of that. Have you had a banana roll. There's so many good new ice like maconals. Maconals is great. Maconals great. Van louing. Van louing's pretty good. Yeah. I mean, these are all better than basking Robins. Yeah, but I can still just do a banana roll. Look at that thing. No. You okay? I'm not fucking with basking Robins. Especially now because you can buy those good ones like Jennings, you can buy them at the grocery store. Why am I going to basking if I can go get better shit at the at the grocery store for the same price now? Because baskins, there's more of them. Like, for instance, if you want to go to salt and straw, you got there's three locations. And there's 30 people in there. And then there's a huge line, you know, as if they're getting tailor-sweptic as you know about that. But my point is this, yet, but with basking Robins, there's never anyone there. You know what I mean? The worst is when there's a gigantic family. That's their slogan. Basking Robins. There's never anyone here. Come on in. There's never anyone here. There wasn't. There used to be one on Magnolian Burbank. I used to go to. It's literally. So you have been. It's empty. You have been. I had been. Yeah. And I stopped because I was like, this is not good. And the one teenage tweaker that's working there, not it, I didn't like it. Yeah. He just his vibe was weird. Yeah, I hate those energy. The teenage tweaker. Those meth vibes. His meth vibes, dude. What do you want? Like, what the fuck, dude? I've just got in here. I don't know. Experimenting. That's who's there. I can't do it, dude. Also, by the way, they don't have 31 flavors anymore. That's also a myth. Yeah, it's not. It's 18. Change it to 18 flavors. They don't even, I don't think they feature a 31. I don't believe. They don't. They don't. When I'm ever in there, it's always like 10 flavors. They have 31 flavor at any give. It says about 31. Yeah, bullshit. Because that one that I'm talking about, they never had, they had like maybe 10 maps. I give them 12 on a good day. This is quality control that's gone downhill, by the way, this is why they're getting beaten by the other big dogs. Wait, what's the ice cream? Handles? Have you been to handles? I don't even think that's right. Handles? Yeah. Handles? Yeah. That's Jewish. Oh, oh, oh, handels. That's how you send that stuff up. It's a handels. It's Jewish, handels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The last name. Yeah, handels. Handels. You know why I like that? How we? Mandel. Oh, I see. Handels. Handel, okay. Yes, homemade ice cream since 1943. Handels ice cream. We're also a bank. Handels is really good. I'd like to make a deposit and also get a rocky road to go. It's a bank ice cream store. Handels ice cream. It's kosher, I imagine. What does kosher mean? Huh? What does it mean? Kosher means like the... No, but it also means two things don't touch. Like two meat and cheeses don't touch. Yeah. Right? Like kosher means fit and proper refers to according Jewish dietary laws which dictate permissible ingredients preparation, separation of food like meat and dairy. They cannot touch. Intuiting items are richly pure and fit for consumption. Which is fucking crazy because meat and cheese is like my favorite shit on earth. Yeah. At the house, I'll roll up some meat on some cheese and that's a snack to go. I love that. One of my faves. Not kosher. Oh, pig is not kosher, right. What else? Kind of falcon, what is that? All scavenger, all scavenger and predatory birds are not kosher. Like you can't have eagle. Should it. Yeah, yeah. Very good though. I think it's so good. It's so hard to catch, but you know, you know how hard it is to get those eagles? Oh my god. Okay, and then if something doesn't have both fins and scales, oh, so you can't. It would be crustaceans, mollusks, wallop. What about platypus? There's a lot going on there. You can't do it. Yeah, yeah. You can't eat why? Can't do it. Okay. You can't kosher. Meat and dairy together. And then loin, sirloin, rump, flanken, heel, steak. So anything behind. So they can't have the back half of the cow. They can only have chuck, rib, shoulder, and plate. No gay stuff. Yeah. Yeah, no gay stuff. Draft King Sportsbook. Draft King Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL makes every playoff moment feel bigger. Draft King's has your back with early exit protection. If the player in your eligible NFL prop bet goes down at any point in the first half, you still get paid in cash. In cash. And I got to tell you, you know who I want in the playoffs. Dempure cargo bears. Me too, dude. We continue to roll through. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app and use code bad friends. That's code bad friends to turn five bucks into 300 in bonus bets if your bet wins in partnership with Draft King's. The crown is yours gambling problem. Go on 800 gambler in New York. Call 8778. Hope NY or text hope NY. 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Squeeze. Great song. Such a good song. Squeeze is such a good band. Isn't it really? Yeah. It's one of those bands that's underrated. I think people don't really know. Squeeze is such a good band. Oh, dude. I heard a song yesterday. I was going to text you. Which is it? Because I was like, you know how sometimes you don't hear lyric. You heard it for years. But then you don't think anything of it. And you hear it again. And you're like, that's what the fuck they were saying. Yeah. Like you know what they're saying. But it's a song where he says, he says, um. And, uh, uh, uh. I've never seen you do that before. That was scary. Something happened. No, but you know, it's like a, but get behind the wheel. It's a fuck who does that dude. Yeah. Oh, dude. It's like a chess master would do that if they lost. It's like a figure. They go check them out. I can't think of the name of the song. I was thinking of two and it goes get behind the wheel of a thing. It's like after you're drinking. You're talking about drinking. And then after you, after you, then you get behind the wheel and crash into a fucking something. And it's just, and that's not what the song is about. Yeah. I'm so bummed that I can't think of that. You know what song that you got me stuck on. And I fucking mad that you influenced me in this way. What? Oh, let's black eyed peas. Let's get it started. I know. Oh, that's what it is. Guess what it is. What song did I get you stuck on? Ooh, I'm thinking what I just recently gave you. I'll give you the gist of it. Yeah. What? That's not it. That Bill Nye song is so good. Wait, play this real fast. This makes me laugh. Bear, beer, positive. They can't say Bill. So they say beer, beer, beer. It's the funniest. G-I-Shing-Kong-Chin-Chow. The Chinese, they're so fucking fun. They're so great. Look, you guys are great filmmakers, but you don't do fun shit like that. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. G-I-Shing-Kong-Chin-Chow. Beer, beer, beer. When you say you guys, what the fuck do you mean, dude? Koreans, you fuck cat. Korea, I just said you guys make great film, but you don't do goofballs. I can say beer. Beer, beer. But this is what the Japanese and the Chinese do the best. I'll tell you the song. Weirdo stuff. Oh, give me hint. All right. It's about a guy who's in a different country and he needs something from his dad. He's in trouble. Lawyers, guns, and money. Yep. You want? Yeah. Every day I listen to that song. It's such a good suit. That song warns the vant. Lawyers, guns, and money. I listen to it every day because of you. Send lawyers, guns, and money. The shit has hit the fan. Yeah, another one is the world of song I liked it. Oh, where I was a London? Yeah, yeah. Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong Dong I'm a music guy. Yeah, but it just I never was introduced to him until I met you. It's so funny. So this is exactly something you would love. I know. I can't believe it. Like I, you know, when I listen to it now, I'm like, it's so interesting because maybe I, you know, another band that was like that with me is Joy Division. Oh, I love Joy Division. Yeah. I saw, I didn't like Joy Division until I saw 24 hour party people. You ever see that movie? It's about the Manchester music scene and Joy Division's in it. There's like a club scene where Joy Division is playing and you're going, what is this? And they're playing in the movie as themselves. No, they're not in the movie. There's actors playing Joy Division. And the guy does such a good job at portraying Ian McKay. Ian Curris. Eating Ian Curtis. And I'm like, holy shit, who is this? And then I googled it. It was like, oh, fuck, it's Joy Division. And then I just got, it became obsessed. But it just never was something that when I initially heard it, you know, it didn't land. It didn't land with me until Steve Cougan is so talented by the way. It's like one of the one of the funniest, smartest dudes I think. It's so funny how like American culture doesn't really know Steve Cougan. Yeah. I would you argue most Americans don't know who that is, right? Damien Cockburn. Yeah, Mr. Cockburn. You see these? The trips are great. That's why Americans might know them because of the trips. But I just think they're so popular in England and not as much here. Yeah. But those movies are so good. The original trip is the best. What is it? It's just like, it's them two. It's literally like a kind of like a loose, it's like a loose concept film about these two. It feels docus style, but it's not, but it is heightened versions of themselves. They're in Hollywood still. It's them, but it's not. It's, it's very brilliant. And it's just two best friends on vacation. And they just get themselves into some bullshit. Other movies. Yeah, there's a series. Are they good? They're fantastic. They're funny. We should do that. Yeah, we should do that. We should do our version of the trip. Yeah. I went to a Christmas party last night. Who? Arden Morin. Oh, I know. I heard you told me this. But it was her and Bert. Bert was there. Yeah, it was her party, but Bert was there at her house. At her house. And I ran into one of my favorite people of all time. Oh, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me guess. MH is his initials Kevin Spacey. MH, man. There's a lot of young boys here. Michael Hitchcock. I don't know who that is. You ever see Best in Show? Love Best in Show. Oh, yeah, he's great. Yeah, Hitchcock was there. So he was there at Arden's house? How was the party? I was there for five minutes. So it was a good party. I do like a five minute. Whenever she has a party, I do five minutes. I'll do around, hug, and then leave. Why? Why go then? Because I show face. Because my therapist, you know, I'm a loner. Yeah. And I don't leave the house. Yeah. So my therapist is like, you got to just try to participate. So I try to participate. Yeah, but I see I disagree. You're 54 years old. At this point, don't do anything. You don't know. But if you look at my mom, that's where I'm headed. She looks great. I know she looks great, but she doesn't like leaving the house. And she only plays iPad games. What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with it. But it's like, you know, I want to be able to, you know, how do you, you got to be social. That's a part of the human condition. No, it's not. No, you already did it. Oh, I did. For 54 years, you've did it. Oh, you paid all your dues. You don't own anybody's shit. You can go or don't go. Yeah, I'm just, I think I'm like my mom. It's great. Yeah. She looks happy and healthy. But by the way, she got frustrated because she logged out of YouTube. That was like a huge debacle. She was like YouTube. YouTube. Yeah. And you're like, mom, we'll do it. And she's like, now you're like, we're doing the podcast. That's another thing that I have. I want it now. If you want a YouTube now, I want mine. That's exactly how you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it now. Do it now. It's funny. You want it right now. I want it right now. But you're not a guy that if you say you're going to do it, doesn't mean you're going to do it now. What do you mean? You want things done right now. Yeah. But if you say you're going to do something, doesn't mean you're going to. Oh, I don't do it now. Right. Yeah, yeah. You have to do it now. I do it when I want to do it. Yeah, yeah. I'm that guy. I make up my mind and I'm going to do something. I just do it. Yeah. Even if it's like, even it's, it's chunking time out of something else. If I really want to do it, I'm going to do it. I don't give a shit. I was like that with tennis records and ice skates. What? Not enough. What? Not enough. No, the other day I was like, I need tennis records. I want to do it. I woke up and I'm going to use tennis records. See, I like that. Yeah, yeah. I want ice skates. I can do that. Skates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to do it. And they just stay in my closet for like, you. But you got them. I got them. Just in case we need an escape. Yeah. Because I've had a lot of people go, you want to play tennis. I got to get raccots. So Kirk. Yeah, other people. Just people just random people. You want to play tennis? I don't put tennis with you. But you don't. Because I didn't have any raccots. Now I have. Now you got how many raccots? Just two. Prince. Red ones. Two Prince. So you bought two raccots even though you need one? I always have two. Over-prepared. No. In case you break one. I hit so hard. Dude, I was on the tennis team in high school. I told you that. I got those red ones right there. Tell me, what was the food at Arden's house? Tacos. A taco truck? No, just tacos in the house. Who made tacos in the house? So I was with there with Andre Agente. She came to. Yeah. And she started in the tacos. And you never, I don't know about you. You probably do it. Here's what I like about your parties versus other parties. Sure. Okay. So at your parties, you have a dude making it. Recurrect. Yeah. Like I've been to Carlos Mincee's house at first parties. He has a guy. You pay for someone to make it? Yeah, yeah. So he's. Then you can enjoy the party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I take a bite. You know what I mean? Whatever the GI. Shinko Shishia. Beer. Beer. Beer. Right. So. But then you go to some houses. And it's just there sitting in a stillen. Like it was ordered or they made it early. I don't know how it came about. I don't know how it manifests itself. You don't like it either way. You know what? But I need to see it made. Uh huh. On the spot. I understand what you're saying. So if it's sitting there, who knows? It could have been there yesterday. Right. They had you know? You had two parties. You got day two party. Yeah. So then Andre, I took a taco and I was like, I wouldn't eat that. So you're weird. And then 30 minutes later she goes, my tummy hurts. You don't see? Yeah. See? That's what you get. You see the guy make it. Well, that's like when we went to Tim's, Tim when Tim had his house here and he had when Dylan had his Christmas parties, he would literally have a staff of 10 people cooking. Yeah. He had someone fucking, he had just a baker to make desserts. Yeah. He hired someone to bake just as a pastry chef. As I'm dumb, I can't say. A pastry chef just for desserts. And then four chefs. Regular chefs. Yeah. And they were doing the yes chef. I heard the sous chef being like, do you know what I'm saying? Yes chef right here chef. Yeah. I was like, this is a kitchen. He's he brought the bear to his fucking house. Yeah. You know what I also like? He's extravagant, dude. He's an extravagant guy. Yes. I also like places. What it looks like a lab at a restaurant for instance. You had ding typhong. Right. And there's a gigantic open window. And you see they're all white with masks. And they're folding the dumplings. Oh I love it. Piquito Moss you see them making the tortillas. A home state they make them they make them there. They make it right in front of it. Right so that I like that. Right there. Yeah. No that's a lab. That's the Wuhan lab. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It's the Wuhan lab. Bring it up the Wuhan lab. No they're making dumplings and COVID. That's where they put the COVID. They're Asians. They have work out that right. They can do two things at once. One guy fucks up. He's like, oh, we're supposed to make COVID today. Yeah. Wasted all of his time making dumplings. But don't you, do you like ding typhong? Here's what I like about this. Yeah. I can see them putting in the work. That's right. Like did you see that video, the guy that restaurant here in Southern California, they got in trouble. They got closed down because he was breaking up frozen ribs in the back of the restaurant. I saw that. I saw that. I saw that. On the ground. That's so gross. Have you seen that? It was so gross. Big frozen slab of ribs. And he's... Let me get on the ground. Dude it was one of the funniest things that they have ever seen. And then the... Yeah, that's him out back. Look at that. Play that video. He's behind the restaurant and he's just throwing the ribs on the ground. This is someone like from their apartment. Look at this. Hey. Just trying to break him up a little bit. Whoa. On a box. Yeah. Put the cardboard down. Look at it. It falls on the ground three or four times. Yeah. They throw it. They just fall on the ground. Look at that gross. Now here's my argument for this guy. You're defending him? For a second. Okay. Well, yeah, of course. He's not Asian. Yes, he is. No, he's not. The way he's throwing his abs. Pushpods. When it zooms in. You zoom in? No, let them do it here. She'll zoom in a little bit there. That's a hundred percent in Asian guy. I guess so. There's literally no doubt about it. You're right. The way he throws his Asian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do Asians throw? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. You can hear it. No, but listen, here it's full of. It was called full love. And let me tell you why I'm defending him for a heartbeat. Permanently closed. That sucks. Here's my only semi-defense. They're frozen. Nothing is sticking to frozen. A frozen. No, no, you could literally dip that in trash. Take it out. Blow it off. It's nothing. It's frozen. It's solid. Then when you cook it, you're cooking away. Whatever would be. You can also wash it. A hundred percent. It's frozen. I think you're right. It's frozen. Yeah. And by the way. I don't think the optics is good. No. No, it's bad. Also, how much how much others should do they do that with? Right. Like and look at there's a mop bucket right next to him. It's fucking gross. Yeah. But this is the thing as Americans were spoiled. Ron, this happens all over the fucking world. And they don't think twice. I think you're right. I think the reason why I like the lab at Atmosphere, right? Is you have assurance. You're assured. You know what I mean? You look in Dink Typhong and you're like, okay, he's not throwing that dumpling on the ground. Right. And then some places when you don't, you don't know what goes. Like I believe that like, I think that like if you go to talk about something that is spitting the fucking stuff. I don't believe that. You don't know. I don't think so. Cause I worked at McDonald's. I worked at fast food. Yeah. We never did that. Yeah, you cause you're a good guy. No, no, but I didn't eat. Okay. I had some other friends in my net where there that were fucking up to no goodies. Yeah. They never did shit like that. You know what you would do instead. What? Because if you got caught doing that, dude, that's also against the law. You can, you could go to jail for that, right? Spitting in someone food. That's a no easy to spit without anyone seeing. It's a biohazard though. Okay. That's bad. No, guys would do shit like that. They would fuck up their order on purpose. That happens all the time. Yeah. They'd like fuck this asshole. And so they'd give them like one less nugget. Yeah. Okay. That's like such a good, because by the way, you get the bag and most of us, you go for fries on the ride home. Mm-hmm. Unless you're really hungry, you're probably not going to eat the nuggets until you get home. And you open it up and see five and set a six, pissed. It's a perfect fuck. You're mad about that? I'd be fucking pissed. I want six. If I order six, I want six. What if they're suffering? Are you extra happy? That's amazing. Are you not extra happy when an extra nugget falls in there? You know what I don't like? When a random thing that's in the nugget box, like one fry. I love that. No, I don't like that. I don't like that. Give me a rogue on InRing all day. I don't want a rogue one. Love it. No. What is he doing in there? He's not in an adventure? Yeah, yeah, yeah. To what note? Like I got free. I'm like, stay with your kind. All right. Oh, yeah. Stay with your kind. Whoa, whoa, whoa. On InRing's just to hang out with On InRing's. All right. If you come over to, you know what I mean? French fry land, right? I'm calling ice. It's big second. That's we should open up a fast food place called segregation. Yeah. Separate, separate buddy equal. Yeah. But they're not. So you like that. Yeah. On InRing's belong with On InRing's. All right. What about this? You think I'm gonna let my On InRing get your French fry ass daughter? Bullshit ass, French fry ass daughter. What if you open your nugget box and there's something in there that's not even on the menu? What is it? What is it? Like like like like a duck. Like a duck. Like a duck. Oh my god, how good. No, but you're a taco pal. I know. It's a new menu. I don't. Okay. No, no, it's something that's that why would it be there? Like an egg roll. Yeah, like an egg roll. Yeah. You're at you're at you go to McDonald's fries. You open it and there's an egg roll in there. Bonus bonus egg roll. Give a word and come from. Who cares? Isn't the same thing that you're talking about. Like I'm going for a ride. I'm imagine that adventure. I went from Panda Express. Right? I took a door that's right. Who fucking McDonald's? Okay. I hop out. I jump into the. This does happen because they have KFC Taco Bell combo places now. That I can see. Okay, so that does happen. Okay. And I'd be okay with that. I don't hit a ride. Don't we we're different in that way. I understand. Okay. Yeah. If it's fast food and it's fried, who cares how it got in there? I'll take it. Yeah, we used to fuck with people in that right. But we'd steal from that McDonald's. That's why my buddies got fired. Yeah. My buddy Chris, because of our friends came, we'd give them as much stuff as we could. Yeah. It was hard to steal money. You could. We'd steal food. Sometimes you steal money. Sometimes you wouldn't put in a late order. If it was super late in there in the window, you wouldn't punch it in. You would be like, yeah, yeah, I'll do it. And then you'd make up the number of what you think. You'd be like 475. And then you would just go get the item and not ring it up. They should do that at a comedy club I know. Seriously? Oh, yeah. Where? They had an old system and then the way it's just, they could like chart somebody and then void it easily. Oh, the void. Yeah. And then just take all the cash. See, the voting is tough because it still shows up in the system. See, I've worked in restaurants. I know how that goes. Yeah. Well, yeah, because you can get the manager, but can you void that drink out? They know and wanted it. But then you give your buddy that drink. Oh, okay. I've done that, but they're still traceable. With McDonald's, you would take the order, but not to take it down. Just go back to the kitchen and be like, can I get a double go? No, no, no, no, no, no. And then they'll, you know, they slide you that double quarter pounder. So the matter, they don't count the patties. What I mean by that is, it's a box of, you should see, McDonald's gets a box of like 700 frozen patties. Yeah, but if I was, I'm Asian. One, two. Yeah, I'm counting. I'm counting. I'm counting. I'm not a shinko-ching chow. Biu, Biu, Biu, Biu. I'm gonna do it all day. Good job. You know, sometimes one I ever want to meal, right? And I want all the nutrients that I need, right? I go to kachava. Yeah, you do. Not only is it good for you, right? The flavors are delicioso. They very much are. Yeah, yeah. They're very, very good. And they have a whole wide variety, including chocolate vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, asai, storaberry. 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Here's why it doesn't matter because it McDonald's, if you ever work in fast food, so much stuff ends up on the floor on accident. Fries, a nugget, patty, this happens. Because when people are moving, you're right, you're right. Shit spill. I thank corrected. I thank corrected. You know, my favorite shit was when we'd have to replace the Coke bag. So because McDonald's has like the perfect mixture of Coca-Cola. That's why it's the best Coca-Cola in the fucking world. Other than Mexican Coke in a bottle. But to go Coke is McDonald's. Because their syrup mixture is like perfectly measured. But it's so dense and sweet that you like hook up the sugar bag, the syrup bag, and it's got the carbonation and the soda water. Sometimes it would leak out of the top, like the plastic top. And I suck on it. I know that. Oh my god, it's so good, dude. I like that. That's it. You can feel your teeth falling out. Yeah, yeah. It's got to be like a thousand grams of sugar per like, because it's condensed. Yeah. It's so fucked. Those are so good, dude. And the smell of those when you crack it open. Now I have these, dude, I love working at McDonald's. It was fucking the best first job I ever had. I was 15. It was awesome. And I fed all my friends. I got paid good money. Yeah. Like I paid like a minimum wage, but it was like good when you could still fucking like, yeah, look at that. Smoking and joining McDonald's Coke. Hey, yo. Did you drug test there? No. I mean, this was a long time ago. They might now. I don't think they drew. No, they didn't drug test us. Because everyone we was there was on drugs. Now would you feel safer when Androids take over like robot? Like if like, because when you go to McDonald's eventually, it's going to be no humans working there. That's fucking a bum. Well, even now I went to McDonald's where were we? And you have to order through the fucking. Okay. You guys see the Tesla, the Tesla diner in Hollywood? I'll, I'll advertise. Let's let's burn it. Let's go burn it down. Is it just made out of cyber trucks? That's it. Fuck that place. Fuck him. Fuck that whole place. Stupid. But that's the future guy. No, no, there will still be a need for human. I don't know. No, we will. We'll want that. Look at that influencer. Hey guys, I'm here with my tits in this robot. Yeah. Oh my god. He's making me popcorn. The career daily. Of course. So funny. It's a funny about that. We, we, we, we, we made it all the way there in their news. It's pretty cool. We go deep. Do you really think that that's good? You're, you, that's, I think that people are still going to want people to run a thing. I don't know. I like, I like the niche, niche of it. The niche of the future. Yeah. Well, it's going to be everywhere. So the niche would be humans making food still. But right now when I see a wigovie, I get excited. They're eventually, you get excited. Waymo, I mean waymo waymo suck Dude, they're the best they stopped and it's stopped in front of us in the hotel Remember that and it couldn't get by us. I know I know Bigs are better Waymo suck you don't like that shit fuck that no remember what the guy said to us in the car when he was like Waymo's are bullshit because what if you get into an accident something happens It the doors lock You know you can't get out of those things until you're at your destination You couldn't just get out if you needed to an emergency like poo Anything you have to poo in the waymo. Oh my god waymo with toilet. Wow come on up to different if you have to shit But it doesn't blow your mind when you see a way it like it pisses me off It's too slow Bob. They suck. I know, but it's just being back It's just so weird when you look at the fucking driver's it. There's no one in there Okay, let me get for someone like you I'm gonna prove why you you don't need what you don't want waymo in the future if it's all waymo's and they're all self-driving and no one gets to drive Then you have then everything is going to be on time And you like that things aren't on time you enjoy the fact that there's leeway in there's wiggle room I like that about screw we go. We Like human error to Human error. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what magic happens the ribs on the ground right? That's where the magic happens. Yeah, yeah, that stores close down permanently full love. No nail in my breadstick I love that it's fun story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you eat it anyway Think about that the news is not gonna have anything to talk about if everything is automated. Yeah, boring How boring there is no chaos anymore? I want the chaos. We love chaos and our key, bro That we do need we need fucked up stories. We need wild shit to go down That's why when you if you married an android, there's no human error there. There's no excitement It does anything you need it to do exactly. There's no fights. No argument. You want some art. You need some combat it We love drama I want to watch Pride and prejudice tonight Right, you know that argument. Yeah, no, come on. Let's watch casino. No, probably the last night was your movie night Right tonight pride and prejudice. I don't I hate pride and prejudice you watch it pride and prejudice Yeah, I've seen it years ago. It's so crazy because Every girl that I know that gets angry that haven't seen it You haven't seen pride. I don't even know what it is There's a million versions. Yeah, yeah, but they go you haven't seen it some masterpiece And I'm like you just said that about the notebook. Oh, that was you think it's a masterpiece. Can I tell you some what never saw it? See, that's what I'm saying that's I never saw the notebook. Yeah, there's films that I know I you know It's a funny like I never saw broke back mountain, but I got the gist So I never saw there's movies that I just never saw I got the gizz too. Yeah, I got the gizz. Yeah, I got the gizz Yeah, you know what kind of be honest with you. It's funny. I didn't see broke back mountain, but I did see moon light I love moon light. It's just black. It's just black broke back mountain. Yeah, yeah black back mountain. Yeah broke black mountain Yeah, I've never seen It's just I'm not interested in seeing it because I heard it's really good. I'll go see it. Doubt it. You've seen it? No Yeah, yeah, why wait why haven't you seen it? Just one of those I didn't I didn't even see the second kill Bill Yeah, these guys really kill Bill without yesterday You know what movie I'm trying to watch right now. It's hard to get through. I don't know why Barry Lyndon Oh, it's so good. I know it's beautifully shot But I can't get into it. Look at a Chinese look at it. You're worrying about cowboy hat And I like Chinese cowboys ones whenever you see them. There's so many Chinese cowboys. You don't know that There's a documentary about Chinese cowboys in China. Look, there's an untold America about Chinese cowboys. You've never seen this no It's amazing. Oh look go to the historical photo Oh, zoom in Look at that. Yeah, the up doggy He oh Yeah, he is doing white eyes on the right. Yeah, right to them a cowboy No, he just got an order. He didn't want to do Amen, you're gonna take that piece of dynamite going that whole line it up Wait, this is not that's Shen Yun. Yeah That's just Shen Yun backstage. Is that is that in America? Yeah, what It's an 1888 wow there Asians back then the good old days. Yeah But I'm sure they were like I want to go back home Now this is your home now pal, but do you think they were they're one day This will back then and one day your great great-great-grandson's gonna open up a Thai food joint Yeah, San Jose and it will get closed down because of health code violations You know how I know it was bad for them when you watch tombstone deadwood any of those things. There's only one guy One's if that one's enough, you know, I mean, but so where are the other people? I don't know I don't know yeah, you got one. I watched goonies again, you know I watched goonies on the plane the other day It's a good movie to flawless movie. Yeah, it's perfect. It's exactly what a movie should be it's an adventure I watched back-to-back with sandlot. I went sandlot goonies and I was like this is perfect These are just kids going on an adventure that was movies at that era was just like Put them in a weird situation have them going in whimsical adventure You go along to the ride whether or not it's realistic. It doesn't matter and a lovely I can't watch sandlot Why? Because my ex girlfriend is married to the star of sandlot I think about the stars of vague that's a vague term because there's a lot of stars in that okay The other guy the chubby guy the red headed guy. Yeah, really? Yeah, uh, tell us the back of Of uh, uh, what's it in Porter? What's wrong with me? Yeah, him Porter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Pat Pat Rennah. Yeah, go to Pat Rennah, right Do you know what it bonds me out and nothing against him. I'm sure he's a great guy. Okay. Yeah, that's hot. Yeah, money Who is that jasmine my ex girlfriend? How long ago many many years ago And when she I was the she was he was the next guy she dated and in my head. I was like oh, I'm him You know, I mean, I'm like the Asian version of him You think so yeah, I think I am he's got that sandlot money. I know Why thought you met you were him for a second about About like what's that isn't there a movie? Is it Ryan Reynolds or someone like he's the guy that the girl after the girl sleeps with him They they get married and settle down What's that move? It's with uh, Dane Cook. Oh, right. Yeah, it is Dane Cook the lat. What is it called? She's very pretty hot jasmine Yeah, yeah, look at their family. What are the family? That could have been you I know so many So many of my ex girlfriends have kids now and they're happy They're just super happy you prepared them for happiness, which is good. Oh, you think you think I was there like the dark the dark dark I can't even speak English The dark chapter no the preparing for happiness It's a dark chapter is that was it my best friends girl. Yeah, so he would hire him To try to Bone her in order for her to fall back in love with him. Yeah, cuz yeah twisted That was Dane was on fire back then that's what he's starring in movies man. It's crazy. It's awesome Love him Anyway Yeah, look yeah, she's happy you're happy I don't know sometimes like what do you want? You want a family? Do you really want a family? Yes, I do yeah, he might you would have had one already He can still have one I think I regret some things you got plenty of time Like the airport. I was at the airport LAX and I would I tell you the story was it LAX I look what read another note to a girl. No, no, I was did you hop off the planet LAX with the dream in a cardigan? No, what? Sorry. Yeah, I was a tagger. I just done a weekend at some club and I was at LAX and I was tired and hangered And I have like my backpack. I'm walking through LAX In the distance I see this beautiful girl With a young husband and their kid and they're just laughing And I realized it's my ex girlfriend and I run into them And she was like oh, and we hugged. I love one not that one. No, it's a different. See that's what I'm saying I keep running into happiness and what how did the conversation go? I go oh my god. We you know we hug right? I meet the kid, you know, I mean and the dude what's up? What's up, man? You know what's up home? You know what's up home? Yeah, yeah, yeah, black guy. No, it's just white guy But it's like we we white guys can do this too. I know But you're doing the homie thing. You keep going to home. What's up homie? Yeah, that's what how I talk why? Urban urban bob is that yeah, what's up? Don't I do what's up, right? You said what's up to the boyfriend? Yeah, and then they go well See later and then they leave and I go oh You know what did I do? What did you want? Were you in love with that person? I think I was I think honestly I think there are some relationship I maybe I should have hung in there Yep Don't you think I can yupp? No, I believe that I think I should have hung in there because in rough patches Right, I go maybe maybe I gotta get out right, but that's what the nature of relationships. You're gonna have rough patches So of course, yeah, and it's like the next time maybe stick in the rough patch You know what I mean and then you get out of it instead of like pulling the emergency cord But sometimes it's for the better But I don't think so. I think every relationship I've been in it. I should have just stayed in it That's interesting. Yeah, the butterfly effect. Now you could go back in time and yeah because it's like If I look back They were attractive good people empathy the all the things And then you see them happy But then they would have been miserable with me. No, how do you know that? I'm a I'm a creature of the night dude. Yeah, you know me five in the morning playing ghost of yotai. What are you doing? The sun is up? Shut up Yeah, I mean I still have to get level up at 54 I'm like that. That's what you gotta level up, but that's who you are who cares? You need to find that a special gem I need another girl like I'm leveling up to You need a leveler. Yeah, yeah, too. We playing two games at one time. Maybe that there's Gotta be a girl like this that exists. Yeah a girl that's obsessed with those kind of things. Yeah, loves are independent But then we will get nothing done. What do you need to get done make bread? You know, uh-huh. You're a big bread guy now What love you're not show great make off. No, but you know, I'm saying you I don't think you would want somebody exactly like you that's insane You'd want someone that has similar similar interests. Yeah, that's what I'm that's what you're saying I don't know because I remember with Clilett's like, you know We're gonna do this thing and I'm like and normally I wouldn't do it But when I do it then you're like, oh, I'm glad I did it If I'm with somebody that's like me, we would never do anything You know, I mean you just to be sitting there kind of perfect No, I need I need someone to like lead me into life What only person you would like respect and you be with someone and no, I respect common people I That's so good. It's like that song from pulp common people Okay, it's one of my favorite songs we call them civilians Call them civilians. Well, they're civilians because we're like we're weirdos or clowns And those are civilians those are adult humans and we're different. We're goofball fuckheads. Yeah, we're children We're clowns. You know, I thought about the other day after doing last night after doing uh Friday night after doing that big show with Shane And you do this huge show and then you just end up in a hotel room by yourself Make it after a shower on a chair Hunched over right literally hunched over and just just like what the fuck you could have got you alone. Yeah I think it's that you think that's gonna make you happy but you've been doing it. Yeah, I know and you know that already You're just Every time I get reminded yeah, but that stuff doesn't make anyone happy. I know exactly Oh They're you're happy because you were that you did it But it's but everyone does have that moment at the end of the night of anything that you do or are are People that could home from a long day at work whether they like their job or not Everyone has a reflective moment in the shower on the shitter just being like Yeah, because that happened that's human nature. Yeah, it's just that's the feeling of everything It's like when you buy something you always wanted then you get it and you don't even fucking give a shit That's that's everything that's every so If you can't be happy now, you're never gonna be happy then you have to find it Although I did hear that quote today on fucking tiktok it bothered me so much Warren Buffett was doing a speech and he's like if you're If you're not happy with 50,000 or a hundred thousand you're not gonna be happy with a hundred million It's not gonna make a difference. It's like oh my god. Oh, you're worth a touch billions of dollars. You fucking idiot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What are you talking? What are you talking about? What are you talking? Yeah, and then he does kind of back it up by saying like oh, yeah, and then there's a There is a threshold of money that at that makes people right gives people comfort and everything but like he's trying to do this Whenever somebody like that like like like an Elon Musk or like a Zuckerberg does that thing where they're like They're gonna make you happy man, and I gotta tell you. You just gotta find it now. All right later Takes off in a fucking jetpack. Yeah, and you're like what are you talking about? Yeah, um, um, um, um, I had a driver there a day And it made me really like reflect And I go, you know, I talked to the alder drivers. You love talking to drivers. I know what's up. What's up? You know, he talked I was getting into his life. He's like and we got into his life. He's a married two kids And then I go um, you happy? He goes Well, let me when I go home after this shift I'm gonna sit in my driveway for an hour and just look at TikTok before I go inside the house Yeah, and I go why he goes. I just don't want to be there. Oh shit. You know, I mean I thought he wanted some like self-talk. No, no, no, no, no He goes because when I go in there, I'm just so unhappy. Oh shit He goes, I'm only with my wife because um, we have two young daughters and I'm gonna stay together for them And trace was your driver And I was it when I was like dude just figure that out that sounds like a nightmare. He goes no Well, cuz what is he gonna do break up a family and he I'm that's what I'm saying, but that's that's I don't want that I think that's what I'm looking for something perfect because I don't want that. I don't want to You know, I mean, but perfect doesn't exist but the to be dreadful going home But I don't think that I don't think that's gonna happen to you either. I think that guy made his real doesn't that sound like a nightmare He don't know what else is going on in his life. No, I got into you guys. What it happened he goes My wife um, doesn't want to compromise. She um, it's her road or the high road, you know, man and What while you left? I bet that's the saying you got it right. I was just why'd you laugh at the good? They don't get it wrong you said it a little funny. That's all how do you say it my way or the highway is my high or the right? And No, he was like saying like you know, I can't you know, I mean do what I want to do. It's always her way Did he say what he wanted to do? Oh, you mean just in general in general, like it's like you know, I mean As soon as again in the house like do the this do that do this you know, I mean and also he said that I haven't had sex with There are 90 days or a hundred days That's like doesn't want to have sex to do like a cleanse or something. No, no, she just doesn't want to do it So my point is is that it's just he's trapped And I don't want to be in a prison. You don't want to be trapped in a loveless marriage or love this relationship Even I want to be free, you know, right? Well, then that's what I'm saying Then don't ever thought you don't need to but I believe that there is got to be somebody out there that has that No, I'm I understand about compromise. Yeah, you got a compliment I understand about that but to feel trapped is a different thing Yeah, that guy was a bad example of what that's not gonna happen. That's not you. That's that man's plight Okay, that won't be you because I like going on adventures as well. You're an adventurous man. Yeah, yeah I don't think that's gonna be you okay, you know and I but but you can see the fear I think it's a real I think it's a real emotion. It's a true feeling to have to be you don't want to be with someone that You no longer are interested in yeah, but that's happened last night. I was at ding typhoon Nighting time. I was at um Sunun dang. Which is restaurant another three three. Yeah, yeah It's a green restaurant. I was a ping pong dong and I was with Andrea Jin and my friend Andy and we're we see see this couple and you can see The guy and we were talking about him. He was just like And she's like doing all the talking, you know, I mean, and they were kind of it was like there was a constant like um A confrontation going on. We don't know couldn't hear it. Yeah, but you could just see how he's just So sad You know, and I go I know what that is and I don't want that what was it Just trapped and bummed and like you know, I mean like I'm trying I can't get out of the situation kind of you know, I mean and I don't want that I think that's the worst thing, you know, it's a social like sometimes relationships you They turn into your mother because I do have child like behavior. Mm-hmm. So women want to mother me like Do this do that because you're not acting normal But I want somebody that's except the fact that I just the way I am because I'm not gonna really change that much I'll provide. I'm fun. That I that I that you know, I mean, but it's What's funny? That's that you're dating to a file. I'll provide. I'm fun. That That you know, you know, you know, I mean Yeah, that's the mother fucking Bobby Lee Yeah Yeah, but you know, I think I think because when I see you and your wife, I don't feel that I feel like you know She's just so cool. It's my homie. Yeah, and um, so you're you're lucky, but we all have bullshit We have bullshit fancy in his wife have bullshit. There's just stuff that happens and You got to wiggle your way through it now if I was if I had that guy's fucking thing the drivers like I sit in my car Because I don't want to go inside. Yeah, I'm out of that relationship. That's I don't that's crazy That's that guy, but you you go to understand. I'm stuck. I have kids, you know me No, there's a way out of everything you think so 100% that guy shouldn't be in that also that's worse for the kids Because he's probably not present. He's probably they're probably daddy and he's like you know what the fuck out of my face Yeah, get away from me. I don't like you But I see signs off front I went on a date and she goes I think I believe this she gets in my car and she goes Don't drive yet. I go why she goes I want to kick to connect my phone into your bluetooth so we can play my music Oh god immediately stopping well, that's the first thing she said okay, but you could go along you go Okay, maybe I want to hear your tunes. Maybe she want to share tunes with me you do you know why my um Sideburns are shaved No, she went she grabbed my second. This is not gonna deal My sideburns this girl made you shave those no just a couple days later. I looked in the mirror. Maybe she's right Let me see turn no, I just shaved them, but what they were gritting you know They were longing grisly some of the white hair. I love it. I know you do but she did that and I was like oh I can't do this because that's the beginning That's up front dude. That's what you're opening with but what she what if she gets all the heavy shit out of the way up top What if that's the only thing to bother sideburns and I had to play my music? That's it those are the only problem I mean, that's pretty good. That is pretty good in the long and they're dating profiles like look I hate sideburns and I got to play my music but outside of that Chill chick on earth. Yeah, but that I mean those are warning signs, no, so you're never gonna talk to that girl again I have it. No. Yeah, because it was like It just felt you know, it's just hot, but that's nothing. They're all hot. Yeah, yeah every girl is hot with you I said that to someone who was I talking to you guys and I was like they're all hot They're all hot, but now it's like I can't do it if they're like that Well, it doesn't matter that they're hot because it's not it's not it There's more that you need There's more than you need there's more that you need there's more that you need This is also the new years episode from talk about resolutions. Are you produced? Can I be honest with you? McCone yeah, are you a producer on the show? I mean what yeah, see what is your job description? It's vague and it changes often, but is it telling me what to do? I just don't know is that no is that your job description telling me what to do? I want to feed you the feed you the ball. Yeah, yeah, did you come up with that segment? Resolutions yeah, yeah Yeah, you know what we're not doing that okay. Yeah, yeah, you have any other suggestions? Yeah, now look what you're getting mad Yeah, you're right you're getting a little angry and rageful, right? Yeah, why the resentment? No, why the resentment though Let's get this out maybe that should be the new years Right. Yeah, yeah, what's going on No, there's no reason. Yeah, there is because you're hiding I can tell All right, we're good. Yeah, we're all good. I could see your face though You can't hide your face When I see you sometimes like you know what last time we got a little you could do the face. Yeah, when was it? It was the last time we got into it. No, it wasn't getting it was something that happened in Phoenix I don't remember you got your camera in my face remember no, yeah, it happens a lot I don't take these things you say seriously because you're just you're a funny silly guy. He doesn't take you seriously Damn, he doesn't take you seriously. That's what I'm talking about intimidating guy. He said that to me one time he goes Bobby. I don't take him seriously. Oh you want to get you want me to get intimidating? You can try oh Shit you can try Okay, I love you so okay, okay, I'll try I'll try Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna try I'm gonna try you can try that's my new year I'm gonna try I'm gonna try to be intimidating. Okay. Yeah, that's fun. What are you gonna do? Near? I'm trying to stay more consistent at the gym Okay Ha G.I. She coaching Chau Pee you Pee you Pee you how's he gonna say you should be looking for a new job Yeah, I might have to replace you. I mean for your age. Here's another thing that you do that it's crafty McCone Okay, it's his um networking. I see it. Oh, right. You know, I mean like when we're backstage at him talk it a shame He's always trying to try to come it up. Try to chop it up. You know, I mean, show me guys and I wanted to go shenigote. Oh, no, that's the camera guy He's just a kid camera guy. He did say that. Yeah, did I say that? Yeah, I interrupted them. Yeah, I No, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, you see he's snapping on you. I know I think I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah This is interesting. It's interesting. I'm drug a film wins though What wins this guy I know I gave him wins you pull them up Wings. Oh, I was like I gave him wind. Yeah, I think you influenced him. He thinks you're he's you No, yeah, yeah, he's an extension of your arm He's an extension of my leg. Yeah, he's holding on to my leg daddy daddy I gave him I gave him right. I gave him lift And so now he's flying at 35,000 feet and he he belongs in a sessna below oxygen levels Right where he thinks we're peers Right, you know, do you think we're peers? I think at this point where we're we're we're we're we're friends No, that's not what he asked you Definitely, I don't think we're peers Bobby. I think but also I'm not a comedian. So it's a different thing I think if I was like an open mic or I want to be a comic maybe Ah We work together we work together. I don't know but it's like we're did there's different planes I'm not even I don't think that you have as much power as I do on the show no, be honest Yeah, what do you think the power levels are though? You're 10,000 and I'm a you're 50. Yeah, you know, well then tell yourself that You're 50 It's a weighted scale. I don't know if you're 50. Yeah, I don't know you're 50 What do you think you if I'm if you're 50 and he's a hundred thousand what's on dress Andreas is like 99,000 So he's I don't make me one of this so he's so you guys have talked about this before obviously Doesn't that sound like they've discussed this so you're 10,000 less than us And what is to do with me? Oh, I'm I'm a hundred thousand. He's 300,000 Ha ha ha 95 10 And he's 300 I'm 100,000 Okay, in one way though, there's so much control in the edit And the influence the original voice of the show shaped into what he is Legend shut up. No, you're talking about Andreas right now, right? No, I'm talking about why is he 200,000 more? I mean just planning stuff Special Olympics events. He's trolling you so hard right now. It's fucking I did it's getting to you dude. I know don't let him troll you You look I'm really mad Okay, I'm really mad right now because he's trolling you it's working Here's why we can we we come to this every year To this point where I get this man and then I forget about it That's right your goes on I forget but I think my New Year's resolution is not to forget I'm not intimidating right and I have no power No, you have less power Yeah, but if either one of us right leaves the show the shows over right so I would say there were 50 50 We're 50 50 exactly. Yeah, but not in your eyes Yeah, it's a weighted 50 150 a little heavier than the other Yeah He's logged in yeah, okay, that's interesting. It's so interesting. That's very interesting. It's very interesting stuff I feel like he's doing a very good job and Carlos has stayed like eerily quiet He doesn't want to fuck up because he he's learned Yeah, because you do the forgetting thing with me a lot. Yeah, I have to I forgive no With him I forget for you I forgive Yeah Yeah, okay, don't get me wrong. I always remember but I forgave you for those things right yeah But for you I forget I go oh he's He's not as as annoying as I thought yeah But then he is yes, yeah, I think I'm just a little sad that you canceled on kill bill today He canceled as well. I had work to do you cancel the sleep in I started at 1 p.m. I had to work I Enselped in four days. I said okay. I was I went from Vegas to Phoenix to here All right, I hadn't slept and in my and tomorrow I have the busiest day imaginable So in my mind like Sunday's the only day I can sleep in mm-hmm I'm not gonna wake up during my sleep in day and go I'm gonna go watch kill bill. I'd rather sleep in who do I do and I need your I Where at precipice here, I think I think as the boss you need to play you need to take some sort of disciplinary action Now is that like a temporary suspension from the show. I don't know. What do I do though? I'm just I'm your advisor. I think perhaps the temporary suspension might be there I mean not an expulsion, but you know, I don't know if he's termination you want to terminate. I don't know You're he's how close is he for termination from I think I'm gonna do it because he's not intimidated And he's not he doesn't believe that I'm gonna do it You know, I mean and I'm gonna have to do it so that he believes I look dude the powers in your hands. Can I ask you something Andreas real quick before I do what I'm gonna do right Who has all the cut footage of of bad friends you do he has no he has none of that to belac mail me or to put it online No, I have tour footage That's why he does have tour footage Yeah, and I say a lot of things Yeah, yeah, that's our property. That's illegal for him to we can we can we can yeah, but I think he would if I fired him You think he would release he would leak that stuff out he won't oh Hey, you're fired It's on an empty me day into me. Yeah, yeah, you're fired Why are you blushing? Well, I just want to know if there's anything I can do to win back. No, no That's good. Yeah, yeah, smart thing because with your networking. This is what you're not playing it right Okay, yeah, yeah the plate is even if you believe these things right you say the opposite Right, there's things that like you know, you're polyshore or back in when I was a kid you know me or what mitzyshore would say That I like didn't believe or like you're mean, but I wouldn't say it out loud. That's insane Right, so it's like where the pants on the podcast Dude that they yeah You had to do it subtly Yeah, yeah That is overt, you know me like you know me you got to train you at take some acting classes or something Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, how about this you know me and you want to do you want to dock his pay? No, just let him down and give fuck well here's here. This is fun. No, it's okay. What if we give this by Nishamon? He doesn't care. I know what if he gives his money divided into half to half goes to fancy and then the other half goes to cart No, no, he needs money so it's like just let him do anyone. No, he can sleep here at the studio. He used to do it He did it when he had his best this point It's like, you know, man. I worked so hard to get to this place. You did still don't respect me. It's fine I'm used to it. He respect you. No, no, I'm you I'm used to it. I've seen it raise your hand if you respect Bob in the studio No, don't put your hand down. I don't I'll honestly mccone. I don't care any of you guys alright That's my new year's republic resolution. I'm just gonna do what I do Yeah, it's a good start to the year. Yeah, 2026 is off to a hot start. I'll tell you what I'm looking forward to. Well, I want to hear everything. A long winter's nap. Me too. With mom and her Kirchiff and me and my cap. I can't wait. I can't wait to just lay down for like a couple of weeks. Two, man. I need it. I'm going to go on my horse. I want to go on your horse. Let's just ride around that game. Ghost of your tie. Yeah. You know what I mean? Go on adventures. Let's get you a real horse. No. You could keep a mini horse at your house. Yeah. You got room back there. What I realize about you the other day. If you're not good at it, you won't do it. What do you mean? So when we're backstage in Phoenix, we're playing that video game. And we're like, come on, play like, nah. You played one round, that was it. If you're not good at it, you won't participate. Partially true. I also didn't care to play. Yeah, but I think that's a part of it. No, no, no, I'll do stuff that I'm not that good at. I play tennis, I'm not that good at tennis. Yeah. But when it comes to stuff like that, you're like, ah, no, no. I just, it's cool to watch, but I don't care about video games. I just don't care. I like the competitiveness of it. I love competition, but I like physical competition. It was a game where you had four characters and you're just trying to throw them off of a building. It's great. It was so fun to watch. It was so fun. I was more of a spectating of it was fun. Yeah. But no, I just, I like physical. I like, I like games that I can play. Ah. And that it's an exercise, it's an exercise of mine. We talked about this, but we can. A build. A Twitch is on. Twitch is on. You know what I need? To either your or your. I need speech class, I think. Yeah. Don't you think? Why isn't anyone told me I need speech class? Well, and the thing is this, I say that a lot. Don't I say that a lot? And I say, let me tell you something. We say the same thing. Yeah, yeah. But it's a habit of your communication on the... But sometimes I'll commit to a word that I don't know how to pronounce, but then it'll just come out of the train. I mean, the train will come out of the... Sometimes it'll come out of the train. The tunnel, too early, whatever. That's a bad analogy. You know what I mean? It's trezzy. Yeah, you do have a little... Yeah, I'll just say it and I go, I don't know the word. It's coming out. Let it happen. Yeah. That's the beauty. I'm just like, mind you let things fly. Well, I think so fast. That's not true. What you're saying you're making fun of me? No, I'm saying, I just, you doing this made me laugh. And you go, I think so fast. I didn't say it was a funny... It looks funny. Yeah. I think fast, right? But then I want to get it out too fast and then it comes out all weird. That's how I write. If you're a hand, I can't hand write because there's too much brain going like, no, no, no, I just can't get it out. Well, more than anything, we hope everybody's 2026 is off to a killer start. And we are still going to be doing bad friends in 2026. We cannot wait. It's here now. That's right. And 2027. And 2028. And 2029. Yeah. And for people that want to know, we, in six years, the show will be coming to a close when Bobby turns 60, we're going to throw a big bash and the show will be done in six years. Really? You want to do that? In six years. When I'm 60, we should end it. Yeah. Well, because I'm going to die. No, I think that's, I think you need a retire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From this. From podcast. Yeah. And that's where the next year's old will be. I'll drift into the wilderness. You can just keep living the way you're living. I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, yeah. Let's predict where we're going. But the way you feel at 54, I feel at 40. It's the same. No, no, no, you feel better than I'm going to feel when I'm your age. For sure. Why? Because I, I'm, I eat unhealthy and I still drink alcohol. You're back discs that hurt. I've back discs that hurt. Yeah. How about this? This is a fun little predictive thing real quick. Yeah. That's 60 when we say goodbye to the show. Where do you think your life looks like? What do you think my life looks like? I think I'll have a kid. It's okay. By then. All right. How many of you have one kid? How old is it? Like 18. 18. I'm going to adopt. Good. I'm going to adopt that. You know, man. No, no, you might have a kid. At 12. I'm going to adopt a 12 year old. You think at 60 you're going to be in love and married? No, single father. Single father. Yeah. Okay. Where am I going to be? Oh, it's going to be great. But. Go on. Yeah. You're going to make the stitching on a baseball. See that baseball? That's going to be my job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to do that red stitching on the baseball. So comedy, I'm out, podcasting, I'm out. Something's happened here. Yeah. So I need to go back to stitching. Yeah. Yeah. My original first love. Yeah. Stitching. Yeah. But you're going to be the best at it. So I'm the best stitcher in the world. Yeah. Thank you for being a bad friend.