Barbara Corcoran On Why Most People Never Become Successful

This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human. No gloss, no filter. Just stories. Spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachon on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay. For the fire. My decision making and my wow. and my judgment of things, I'm hard as a rock. I listen hard and then I decide and you cannot change me once I decide. Do you think that's necessary to to have the success that you've had, especially for women? No, I think there are different styles, but I think there's no room for emotion if you're a woman, especially in business. The one, the minute I had a manager once in a while who would cry over just having a bad day because we all had bad days, she was marked. I never trust her with more responsibility again. Really? Yeah, I never did. I never forgot because I thought we can't cry in business. You just can't cry. This episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. Today's guest is a woman who turned a $1,000 loan into a $66 million empire. And she built one of the most recognizable brands in business. We're talking today about reinvention, confidence, aging, maybe fuck you, money. I would like to discuss that. And also starting over at any age, the amazing Barbara Corcoran is here today. Hi, Barbara. Nice to be here. Nice to have you. I'm scared, but good to be here. You're scared of you? Why? You're a force. Stop. Come on. Stop. The truth serum. You think so? Definitely. Thank you. Yeah. Well, that's a that's a compliment, I think. It's intended that way, but don't use it on me. I won't. Thank you so much. No, I'm excited. I think I want to learn a lot of things. I have a very interesting relationship with money, and I would love to just pick your brain about how you navigate those borders. You've got the wrong person, but go ahead. Why? How could how could? It's happened difficult relationship with money. I always feel poor. I was born poor. I was happy poor. Poor's not bad in my mind at all. I could be poor again. I think and be happy again. Really? So but I'm always thinking that's that's really who I am and any money is just temporary. Yeah. But the fact that you still feel poor, were you poor ever? Like really poor by definition poor. Poor but we're lower middle class. We ate, thank God. We had 10 kids in a two bedroom house and my dad had two jobs. So it was struggling, but we never really felt poor as children. You know, yeah, you had your family. Yeah, we had we had wonderful mother and father. Your food on your table. Yeah. That's what counts. The love is most important. So when I hear that story about you over and over again, about this one thousand dollar loan and starting this company, who were you at that time? Where were you in your life and where were you with money? I was in a good place in my life. I was 23 and I was working as a dyno waitress and a guy came in and became my boyfriend and he offered me a thousand dollars. At the diner. Were you cute? Like where you like? Hold on. Were you like sexy waitress? Like what was when you like? I was anything but sexy. That's better. There's my voice. I was anything but sexy. I was competing with a sexy waitress who had giant breasts and she bounced coffee cups on her breasts. So nobody wanted to really sit at my counter unless it were in a real rush and I have a seat. But but I did tie ribbons on my pigtails and remain cute and remain myself because it was my mother's advice. And as a result of that, a guy sat at my counter because he liked my type and he asked me out. And that was the beginning of my career. I left the diner a week later, took a week's vacation and moved to New York City. So with the guy? No, not with the guy. He paid for I was too pure. Really, I was waiting for somebody to be my lover. It was coming late. But he paid for a week in the Barbizon hotel for me. And that was my start in New York City. Wow. So you came to New York for a week. Yes. And then what do you do? What does one do was even now in twenty twenty five you think about one thousand dollars. Yeah. Does that feel like this is this is great? Or do you feel like this little bit of money? Like how does it seem like a little bit of money at all at the time? I feel like I hit the jackpot. A thousand dollars then was like the equivalent of somebody giving you twenty thousand dollars today. So I had all this money to start a business with. It was like a magical happening. And why did it fall on me? Just because I met the right boyfriend. He found me, took me out of my town, took me to New York. I feel like I was in the lottery the whole way. I mean, it was miraculous what happened. Why do you think what do you think? What did he see in you? What do you think you saw? He saw a virgin, which I was and he was ten years older and he wanted to be my boyfriend. And you were like, give me that bread. Let me. I want that bread. That's really my mother. Excuse me of being a prostitute, which really wasn't. Oh, no, mom. She was crazy. But anyway. But you got your money. Yeah, I got my money and I started the business. And then were you serious about the money? Was this like an opportunity for you? It's serious about the money. Yeah, tell me about that. I knew what the thousand dollars would buy. It would buy me twelve weeks in business. I could put it and the New York Times once a week for twelve weeks. I could pay my cab fare because you had to take customers around in cabs. I could pay for the office and you showing properties. Is that what you all day long just open doors? It wasn't even like working. It was like having fun. Hey, how you doing? Come on in. Hey, how you doing? Come on in. It was great. It was just I just knew I was in the right business from the first day. It was terrific. And I had money to last twelve weeks. And I was able to rent my first apartment in the third week and that replenished my supply. I had another three hundred or your money back in right back in three hundred and forty dollars. So now I was down a hundred but up three forty. And that's what I did. I did I did for the next 20 years. Next 20 years. And then you sell it at what age? I was about forty five or so, I guess you sell a company for sixty six million dollars. Yeah, they wanted to pay me twenty two million, but I told them I had to get sixty six. I'm thank God I stuck with my guts. Unbelievable. Yeah. So you're thinking about upgrading to the all new iPhone 17 Pro designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever. But are you also thinking about the traffic on your way to the store or transferring all your data and all the time that takes? Well, the good news is that when you order a brand new phone online with Boost Mobile, they'll send an expert to your home or to your work to deliver your brand new iPhone 17 Pro and get you all set up. Boost Mobile can do that within minutes. No hassle. All you got to do is visit boostmobile.com to get started. Delivery available for select devices purchased at boostmobile.com. Terms apply. Do you ever have moments that it's still surreal to you or is that all the time? Very much so. Sometimes in a moment of luxury when I realize my children are well, that my whole family around me has benefited from my will. I just sit there and I think God pinched me. How could this really have happened to me? I sometimes almost mistrust that it's true. As weird as that is, because it seems like such a such a constant lineup of happenstance that just marched in my way. And I took advantage of I was able to build something good that I never expected. Not that I didn't have expectations as a kid that I would be somebody great or somebody successful or somebody at least happy. I always felt I would be entitled to be happy like my mother and dad were happy. But I never expected money would be part of the equation. And I think that's why I've never really gotten comfortable with money. But I'm curious your attitude. I have so many questions about that. But while we're in this little season of your life, I just want to know. So does the boyfriend then feel entitled? He watches you on this journey. Imagine if you broke up at some point, right? Well, no, he was my business partner as well. He took 51 percent of the business when you sold it. When you sold it. When he gave. Well, no, when I sold it, he was already a 51 percent partner. But it wasn't as though I left him. He left me for my secretary and told me to take my time. You know, while I was out of there in a moment, as you would be to. Yeah. And I started the Corcoran group because that was my first little business. And it lasted seven years until he married my secretary. And then I went on to start the Corcoran. Unbelievable. Yeah. I wonder navigating that change of life and change of financial status. How you manage that with people, because people change and your life changes and how you operate through the world changes. It's really is a challenge. You know, I I judge friendships. It changes relationships. Clearly, if you have money, it changes relationships. It changes your relationship with your siblings. You don't want it to. I have my siblings. They want nothing from me. And we're all still close. So lucky. But it's still different. I'm seen as different than them. It changes my relationship with new friendships. You wonder what they're after. Yeah. It changes my relationship with dating. You wonder what this guy really wants. You know, it does. Yeah, it makes you have to stop along the way and pause and say, let me be careful here. And that's a shame that you can't take things on face value. Yeah, because I very much am a person that takes things on face value my whole life. Yeah. So it conflicts with it in a way. I totally understand that I have a couple of friends that are far wealthier than me. You're always aware they're wealthy. And I'm always aware they're wealthy and I always treat that. I also have friends that are more way more famous than me. Yes. And it's the same almost the same situation. Exactly. As a friend, I want to sometimes protect these people because I see all the sharks circling. And if you actually are a good person, you have to have boundaries up and you have to be careful how you navigate those waters. But it's nice that you feel that way about your friends that you want to protect. My good friends protect me. They're much more critical of new friendships and who comes into my life than I would ever be. Really? They're quick to speak up. It's almost like I'm in their territory. Yeah. That's good. That means you chose well. Yeah. But I would think you'd have you'd be really good at boundaries. And am I good at boundaries? Not really. I'm not good at saying no. If you ask me for money today, I will give it to you without a doubt. So how much do you want? Well, I do have two ideas. So if you wanted to come in on that, you have a whole opportunity to give people money. You did that for years on television. Yeah. But you know, a funny thing, Damon John, who's my good friend. I know very well. He gave me the best advice when I first sold my business. He said to me, you'll find everybody has a $10,000 problem. And he was right. And the best move I ever made, actually, when I sold my business after I gave away many 10 thousands is my accountant said, tell him to talk to me. And if it's OK with me, of course you could invest. He never OK anything. That's a perfect answer. He was a bad guy. I had to create my boundary through other people. I don't have it on my myself because I'm very, I could always empathize with the other person's position more than I could see my own. And so always my answer is yes, of course. Yes, of course. Yes. So the back to the relationship with money thing, I think people probably struggle with this all the time. For me, I I never I was never educated properly on how to use it, how to spend it, how to save it, what to do. So I always feel insecure about it. So if something happens and I make a surprising amount of money, the worst. What was that? I mean, if something goes wrong, you think the worst. I think the worst, but I'm also scared of it. And I don't. I blow I blow it. I don't strategize probably well with it. You seem like a lot of confidence with anything else. I bet you're a lot better than you think you are. You think so. I think so. Most people are a lot better than they think they are on everything. And I think this is when you want to look at a new and wonder really how good you are at it. You can get to where you were without being good at it. You just don't do it. Also, now I feel like there's so much information at every turn. It's like it's like dieting a wellness is 75,000 different ways to get to be healthy. Yeah. But it's the same thing with money. One thing always all of that self-help stuff doesn't include anything called your own intuition, trusting your own intuition and feeling right or feeling wrong to you. I think that's the big card that's overlooked. Is the intuition. And I'm sure you're using your intuition when you're managing your money, whether you want to admit it or not. Well, give me your money. I'm going to manage it for you. You will. You have time for this. I'll probably lose it. You have time for this. I believe I would trust it. I'll give it to my accountant. I'll keep it. I would actually totally give it to you. But to me, the thing about I wish to get to a place and I'm sure many people feel this way, you wish to get to fuck your money. You wish to get to that. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You don't have to. You can if you want to travel, you can travel. If you want to do this, you can do. I guess just the freedom of what money brings people. Yes, I would like to get there, too. This to me sounds crazy to me, Barbara, that you don't feel you got to that point. No, I almost feel like if I plan like I went to the Cayman Islands spontaneously with my one of my sisters, and I was feeling very badly about going, thinking, I shouldn't be spending this money so wildly. It's kind of irresponsible. I had been working like a dog for 10 weeks. I was just for vacation. Yeah. So it's crazy, but I have not felt comfortable spending a lot of money on extemporaneous things that are luxurious. Are you not like a material girl? Do you not like shopping? No, no, no. I hate to shop. I have my few outfits that look good. You wear that. I have my few rooms that look good, really good. Yeah. But I will spend a hell of a lot of money on my garden, which I incessantly love. Yeah. Anything I can get my hands into, I love. That's great. And also my home looks just absolutely beautiful. And I do. You know what? I am extravagant. I forgot whenever I see a home that I love, when it's twice as much as I could afford, I buy it anyway because you love it. And I know I'll get the money back. You see, I realize after I finish using the home and I move on, I'll get all that money back. So for that, I don't have to justify it because I think it's a good investment. You see, and it is a good investment because I buy it smartly. I always buy the best. I always get the most money when I sell. Hey, guys, today's show is brought to you by Hard Rock Bet. 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Open up the app today and you can have a bonus bet or who knows what's in there, all kinds of stuff. And it's always a nice surprise. So new rewards drop tomorrow. Don't miss out. Head over to the Hard Rock Bet app and make your deposit. Payable and bonus bets, not a cash offer offered by the Seminole Tribe of Florida in Florida, offered by Seminole Hard Rock Digital LLC in all other states, must be 21 or older and physically present in Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, New Jersey, Ohio, Tennessee, or Virginia to play. Terms and conditions apply. Concerned about gambling in Florida, call 1-888-ADMIT-IT in Indiana. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem and wants help, call 1-800-9 with it. Gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER in Arizona, Colorado, Illinois, New Jersey, Ohio, Tennessee, Virginia. What is the best, when you were starting, what was the best advice anybody gave to you about about money or starting? Especially, I'm sure the sharks were circling early when you were starting. The worst advice was my mother when I was really starting, first starting. She said, why don't you hold a good job for a few years? You're always hopping around and get a good resume going when I told her I was going to start my business. Definitely the wrong advice to wait. When you have the business idea, you have to hop on it while it's hot, right away, before you figure it all out. Because most people who don't start a business, sadly, is they have to get it right. You don't really have to get it right, you just have to get the thing going. So that was the worst advice. The best advice I got on the other side was from my boyfriend. I hate to give him credit, but when I was leaving him the day I divided the business in half, he said to me, you'll never succeed without me. And that was the best advice I ever got because he put a bone in my back that I would rather kill than not succeed and let him watch me. I was like, wash. And every time I went up bumps and down as businesses, you know, I have your highs and your lows all the time. It's a roller coaster ride. I would think of his words when I was ready to give up and say, son of a bitch, I'm not good for you. Just because I thought of his words. So inadvertently, he gave me the best advice for success when he wasn't intending it that way. Yeah. What is what is because business and relationships or starting businesses with your especially romantic partners, spouses can be super challenging. It's a challenge for anyone making a lot of money. It's the hardest challenge is a relationship. I believe I know many women are great breadwinners and they have difficulty with their spouses who are not. And same with me. I married. I've been married twice. I was a breadwinner the first time my husband quit his job on a month after we were married and never worked again. Wow. I divorced him seven years later and then I married my my husband, who was so active. I didn't think I could keep up with him. I thought, finally, I met a guy who's going to outpace me. And then he resigned from everything and he was a stay at home guy. So it was very, very hard for me. And it's it really shifts power in a relationship. And that's why it's so terribly dangerous, I think, because it really does a number on the whole relationship. Money, money again, affecting everything, really. Is there a trick to making? I mean, you've made this marriage work and you. Well, I've made marriage work because of my sheer determination and dedication. First of all, my husband, Bill, I love dearly. So that makes it a lot easier when you really start out really loving somebody. Well, yeah, it serves you for a long time. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. Addiction is a disease and it should be looked upon as any other disease. How did you cope with a reckless father like me? Join me, Pooja Bhatt, as I sit down every week with directors, actors, musicians, technicians and beyond. You don't need to work with the biggest people and the biggest sound to have great music. I have gone through the sub-credits, Chakka. Reach the pinnacle, stung by the snake and I've fallen down again. Yeah, I am not writing actively anymore and when I see my old work, it kind of saddens me. I'm only as good as the last shot that I gave. Mom's gone, but don't shut the theater. The show must go on. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhatt show on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. But what I think I have done very well with my relationship is tolerance and also a reality check. Like what Bill is, is what you get. And I spent the first three or four years trying to change him until I realized he can't change a guy. You just can't change him. You got to either accept him or move on. And so I practiced my acceptance and the thing is that drive me nuts, still drive me nuts, but I go, mm-hmm. That's all I say. It's easier to accept. Acceptance is easier when you actually like or when you love someone, really love someone. Yeah. And I think that's easier. We talk about that here a lot, about the difference between who the person is that you choose and what you believe the potential of the person is. And very often that doesn't work out. And as the marriage gets old, I really believe you have to change your attitude to the marriage totally. Because circumstances changes. I used to think of Bill as the best lover in the whole world. And he was at one point, I guess, while Bill Higgins. So excited. I can't wait till he, what he does next. And now I know everything he's going to do next. You know, all moves. Yeah, I know everything. But now I think of him as my roommate, my partner, my roommate. I don't think of him as my lover. And it was hard to let that go, you know, that old image of like, otherwise, if I didn't let it go, I'd be measuring against it. Like, but I used to be hot and bothered by this guy. I was so crazy wise. Why don't I feel that anymore? But now I just think he's a great partner and he's a great roommate. He's a lovely man. He's a great dad. So I have just my expectations. So I'm not measuring up against what it was. And that helps me in the relationship. So are you saying that you let go of the romantic side of marriage? Yes. Really? Well, not totally. I mean, what I did, which was very important when I moved two times ago, like 15 years ago. So I decided I was going to have my own bedroom period. There was no if and so buts about it. Really? When I had my own room, it was wonderful because I could invite Bill in. And if he wasn't wanted, I told him, no, thank you. Just closed the door quietly on his face. But having your own room, you could control the romance. How much you want of it. And as I get older, I want a lot less. Really? Yeah, for sure. Was it weird? Did you have to adjust to that? Because because even sometimes you make a decision that feels right for you. But because society or what it looks like to other people, sometimes we will second guess a decision like that, even though it feels comfortable for you. Of course, even my children. Yeah, I had to explain why mommy and daddy had a separate room when my friends come in. Oh, you have your own room. I think it's half envy. Yeah. But yeah, society will judge you a certain way. Like, oh, but they're never having sex, which isn't true. But we're just having it by invitation, which is more occasional than it used to be. Yeah. So yes, you do feel that pressure from society, but I don't really care so much. I really want to have my own space, my own room. I think we should all aspire to live a life that is true to what serves us. Yes. And not what is expected or. Yeah. And I think that's like you said, that's where people go wrong. Trying to fit into a box that doesn't work for you. Absolutely. Everywhere shoes are too tight. It's terrible. Yeah. It's the same kind of thing. Yeah, I get that. Would you do that in other areas? I would imagine even in business, right? Like just non-traditional thinking and. Sure, but I realize years ago that nobody's really watching and nobody really gives a damn what you're doing. So you might as well do what you want to do. And so I would always just follow my gut as to what felt right for me. And even the naysayers were saying terrible things at first. In the end, they were my best cheerleaders saying how smart I was. So they forgot, you know, so you just I think you have to say true entirely to who you are. When was there a moment when you learned that? What did you not? Yes, always have a right that way. That moment. And it doesn't sound very fancy or anything, but it was just hit me in a weird way. I was at the real estate board of New York, which was where all the power players were. And I was competing with all the old boy network and they were powerful. They own the market. They had tons of money, sons of guys with money. And I was the only girl. And I noticed that nobody was making eye contact with me. And that was a day I just said to myself, I'll get even. I'm going to be the queen of New York real estate. It was crystallized in my mind right then and there. I'm going to be the queen of real estate. I'm going to be a number one rival. I'm going to put you to bed. I just got a bone in my back, you know, because it was insulting that they were making eye contact with this. Funny that I should be so offended over something like that, but I really was. You should be offended. What do you mean? Of course. Well, it seemed like I was a little sensitive at the time. Yeah, yeah. And good for you. Yeah, we should be sensitive about that. But that's still kind of like that's a drive based on people who don't believe in you. But I just think the thing of like doing things in your own terms, like how you say in your home or I'm sure you've had to do that in business to where everybody says this is the right way to do it. I succeeded because I did things my own way. Everything I succeeded and pushed myself ahead was outside the norm. Thank God. And the old boys weren't doing it. And for that, they thought I was crazy and they weren't even watching me until it was too late to watch me stop. You know, but no, I did everything opposite to the marketplace because I found that for my sense of what's common sense, it seemed right. And I would be at least have the confidence to follow my instinct and go down the path. And not everything worked out, but a lot worked out. You know, you just need a few things to work out. Oh, Sirens in New York. I love New York. Don't criticize it. No, I love New York. It's fine, except when you're trying to take a podcast and your guest is saying something amazing in the. It's a little flavor. Yeah, thank you. Let's people know who we are. We are in New York City. Um, OK, there was a thing about relationships, too. What about not so much maintaining a relationship with finances, but partnering, actually going into business with someone that you are in a relationship with, whether it's a spouse or a whatever, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, people do that. They have an idea they're living together. They're like, let's do this business together. I think it can work. You do. It worked with my partner, Ramon Simone, because we're total opposites in every way. And so he and his lanes, I and my lanes, and we respected the lines in between. I have in shark time probably invested over maybe 150 partnerships like a relationship. People who are in no no. And probably honestly, the ones that are already in relationships less have worked out. There's more a fallout, I would say. Yes, I wonder. I'd have to think about that. But I think so. But I think it can work very well. I have businesses that are owned by four female cousins and they're working it together. I have businesses owned by brothers, wives and husbands, many of them. Some of them don't work out when the marriage goes on the rocks. That's what I was wondering. Yeah, I've seen that a few times. I have, too. And I also know a lot of women, they start make their successful, they're smart, badass, clearly they're going to figure whatever it is they're trying to figure out, they're going to figure it out. And then they have a partner and they enjoy. It's almost like they enjoy working with their husband or their spouse. Share everything. So you want to share everything. Usually so you have an idea, then you say, hey, let's do this together. Then the marriage goes. Yeah. Yes. Well, the girlfriend comes in. And now this person that you thought, let me pull you in on this. I've seen this a few times. Yes. And then the woman is dealing with lawyers trying to get her company back or buy her company back. I think women are vulnerable to that. Yes. Just starting out on their own, pulling a partnership in. And then the partner not being nearly as strong, but they think they're strong because they're in love with them. And then it goes awry. I've seen that so many times and never do they have a post-nuptial or prenuptial. And it's a disaster because they lose half the equity. I just have a sister who just came through this very capable. Her partner wasn't at all. He was pulled in and she had to buy him out at great expense when the partnership ended with the marriage. And I should say, I think that's very common. But some though do work out very well. You have very, it's, you know, in a way, you almost have a leg up. You have an additional strength because you married, you're really together in every single way. So when the partnership is good, it works out well. But I think I've only seen it work out when the partners are opposite. I think what, what makes all strong partnerships is opposite skill sets. I don't think you could kind of have two of the same. It just doesn't because you get on each other's territory. Yeah. I think you always have to be opposite. That makes sense. Yeah. The holiday season is upon us. I know it came so fast, right? So one thing I am working on in my home is trying to make my home feel festive and also I have a lot of people over for the holiday. So sometimes that means any extra chairs and things. And I started thinking about my grandmother, my grandmother. I come from a family where my grandmother would host every year with second cousins, third cousins, and she had a very small home. But she hosted a big party and everything in the house would be dripping in holiday things. I mean, everything from the toilet had like a Santa Claus on the toilet. The, the, the napkins in the house were Christmas napkins. I mean, if there was an inch of her house, it was dripped in holiday and I don't want to do that. But I do like the idea of recreating that much joy and that much festiveness in my home. And there's so many things at Wayfair that you can get for that. And they don't have to be like the Santa Claus on the toilet. Whether it's candles or tablecloths or just extra seating because I do have extra people come in the house folding chairs. You can get great folding chairs at Wayfair. And the good thing too is you can order that stuff and it comes right to your house without having to pay for delivery, which is super helpful or out lugging it, having to run to the store and get all that stuff and pack it in the car and then pack it out. And then who wants to deal with that? So for the holidays, really, it is a great, it is my go to place for just like judging up the house to feel festive around the holiday season. And also setting up to, to host, to invite people over and the more people that are normally in my house and to accommodate for that, which usually means extra chairs. Maybe you wanted to get some new, you know, plates or tableware. And of course, Wayfair has all that great stuff and all the things to make you feel really festive. So I'm going to be spending a lot of time with Wayfair over the next month, getting my home ready for there. So you can take advantage of some of these Wayfair deals that are going on right now. Don't miss out on early Black Friday deals. Those are happening and they're big. Head to Wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair Black Friday deals for up to 70% off. That's Wayfair.com and the sale ends December 7th. Are there rules to that? Do you have any kind of theories about, and I'm talking more in a romantic relationship? Not rules because when I was in one of myself, I had no rules. But what was important for it to survive is everybody understood what their rules were. That's if you want to call that a rule, you can. Yeah. That's about as far as it went. You know, a lot of settled in bed, but you have different rules. That's always a good time. Yeah, that's good. Everybody's very vulnerable. Yeah, easy going. Nobody's combative. You're forgiven. I love you so much. Yeah, that's so handsome. Yeah, it's a perfect time. Perfect time. But I do think that is because because, like you said, women want to you see the best in the person. You want to keep them close and I've seen that many times. Much, very too much. Very, very tricky, Barbara. OK, what about. Age and business. I always am inspired by women because I'm in my 50s. I I when I see stories of women who first, you know, Martha Stewart making her company at 50 years old or where she's 50. She was 50. I didn't know that. She was a Martha Stewart in terms of creating things and events and doing it. But her her actual Martha Stewart living with her empire. She was 50 when she launched that. And so I have to give her twice the credit, I think. At least, right? Why do you say that, though? I say that because when you're young, I know who I was at 23. I had endless energy. I could run an 18 hour day day after day and not feel it when I was 50. You felt the hours very much. Your body changes. So I think as long I don't think age has a thing to do with it. But I think if you have the enthusiasm and the drive and the energy to pursue what you want to pursue, it's the same as when you're 23. But. I don't know if I express that well. No, I get it. Because I probably got mixed up there because you still have the capacity. You have the capacity. But your energy might be. I don't know. When you're older, your energy is less, but you're also smarter. You know where to put your energy. At 50, I was a phenomenal delegator. I could pick talent out from anywhere, recruit people from anywhere and get them to work for me because I knew they had a certain talent. I just had an instinct on it. I didn't have an instinct when I was 23. You want to do it all yourself, probably? Always. I always did it better than anyone else. Every job I always thought I could do better until I realized one day 80 percent was good enough. And when I realized 80 percent was good enough, my business grew like crazy because I would choose people and say, well, 80 percent is good enough. 80 percent is good enough. Lower my expectation. And that's pretty good 80 percent. Yeah, that really grew my business. That's great advice. Yeah. I was just thinking about something that I've always been told that I'm starting to second guess. And it's that as I was, you know, starting in this business, I was always told to own every you should have to own your own this and be your own boss and invest in yourself. And those lessons are probably still true, but I made a lot of mistakes using my money on creative ideas I had. I'll shoot it myself because I don't want anybody telling me what to do. Or even when we launched this pod, I paid for the pod myself because I didn't want anybody having too many opinions about. I felt the same way. You would have felt the same way. Um, you make mistakes and then it's your money or you pay for it. You make less mistakes. I can't tell you how many partners I've invested in Shark Tank who think nothing of losing money when it's my money. When it's their own money, they think long and hard about each decision they make. I think it's I think it's great to have your own money invested. I would agree with your old wisdom. No, I still have it. I just think I've made I've made also when it's your money when your guests cancels last minute and you've hired the crew and you've hired the space and you've got it so that you find a way you find a way. But when you lose the money, it's your money. Yes, that helps you find the way. You don't think it's a good business to say use other people's money to. I don't think so. Really? I had many opportunities. Well, why would I say that I use my someone else's money to start the business? So I'm not really truthful. But other than that, starting the business, the capital. And even then, I don't think if you can possibly avoid using someone else's money and use your own instead, it's better. I'm telling you, I knew where every dime was going. I knew when I was running sure by five cents. I knew everything because it was my own money invested and I put it back into them. If I had investor money, I see that I see many of my partners just throwing away my money carelessly. It kills me. I've I've decided to invest in them. But I think you're really going to spend the money on that. Yeah. But it's my money. It's easy money to spend. Yes. On PR, on everything that's peripheral to a business. That must piss you off. It does. I've learned to be quiet. Why? It's your money. Because I want to build up the agent, the entrepreneur's confidence and criticism doesn't do anything to help with that. What about your discipline? I would imagine this career that you've had and this run that you've had. There's certain disciplines that you have to have as a business. You're looking at the most disciplined person you've ever met. Really? Definitely. Tell me how. I just well, first of all, I learned it from my mother. She had 10 kids and she had a system for everything. She was the model of efficiency. So if I see something happen, I see it happen. A second time I create a system immediately. If I see somebody do this and they do a good job, I make a good job. I move on it right away and I create it so it repeats itself with myself and my own discipline. I don't care if I'm dying. I'm going to work if I promise I'd be there. So and I think that's important. That your word be your total bond that anybody would trust ever in anything because you're all that way. So with me, everything I do has discipline from where I work out. What I work out. What? Well, not where I want to eat. I eat it all this shit all the time. So I'm surprised I'm alive. Actually, it was what I really am. So you look so great. I'm so surprised. I'm lucky I have a good body. Believe me, it's just pop pop luck. But I work really hard to I work five days a week to keep it keep it true. You work out every day. Yeah, I do. Well, not Saturday, Sunday. Five days a week. Yeah. Do you like a morning routine? I know morning routines for successful people are. I don't. I know I feel like a failure saying I don't. But I like to stay in bed as long as I could until that alarm rings at six o'clock. And then I'm up instantly. I always give myself one, two, three and hop out of bed. I won't just lay there beyond that time. But you're up at six. Yeah, always. And naturally, I naturally wake up being without alarm because I've been doing it so long. Yeah. Yeah. And then you're working all day. Yes. Oh, I'll I'll work till midnight if I have to. Still now every day. Yeah. You're still working that hard. Just to accomplish what I want to accomplish. If I have a goal set in my head, I'm not going to give up really in the day until I've worked enough at it. You know, it's sick. I've been seeing a psychologist. I'm trying to come off that as I get older, because I'm in my seventies. What are you going to? What are you going to relax? Yeah, that's what she says. When are you going to relax? What is what is the plan? My mom always said when she's dead, which I agree with kind of. That's when you rest? Yeah. Yeah, but there is. And it's so corny to even this question. I hate this question. People ask me is this about the balance of life and. Oh, do you believe in that? I don't know. I don't think so. I think it's always changing. I think what I need for myself today is different than what I need for myself next month. And so if I'm in an ambitious season of something I'm trying to launch, then it's all work. Yep, exactly. But if I miss my kid or I'm feeling sad for whatever reason and I have to pour into myself a little bit, then. Yeah. I go sit down for, you know, I try to just go. I don't think there's a everyday balance of. I don't either. And that sounds what you do sounds very healthy to my ears, really. What I do, the only thing that helps me, well, I wouldn't even call it balance, but it helps me with priorities, I guess you'd say, is I put boxes. Like when I'm at home, I never take business goals. I try my best not to think about business. I want to be with my kids. I wanted to raise my kids. I want to be a great mom. When I'm at work, my kids wouldn't dare call me at work. My husband used to call and pretend he was. They wouldn't dare call you. They wouldn't dare. Unless they were dying and they never died. So thank God. Thank God. But my husband would call me at work after a while in desperation. He wants to talk to me. It was terrible. And he would pretend he was from the New York Times and disguised his voice as my secretary. So you get through to me. I mean, ridiculous. But that's how I'm glad my system was. Don't bother calling me because I'm hyper focused at work and I'm hyper focused at home. But I wouldn't call that balance, but at least it's a separation. Yeah, separate compartmentalizing. As far as I've gone. That's actually pretty good. That works. That's your system of balance. It looks for me. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. Addiction is a disease and it should be looked upon as any other disease. How did you cope with a reckless father like me? Join me, Pooja Bhatt, as I sit down every week with directors, actors, musicians, technicians and beyond. You don't need to work with the biggest people and the biggest sound to have great music. I have gone through this sharp city, Hachakar. The reach, the pinnacle, stung by the sneer, I've fallen down again. Yeah. I am not writing actively anymore. And when I see my old work, it kind of saddens me. I'm only as good as the last shot that I gave. Mom's gone, but don't shut the theater. The show must go on. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhatt Show on the iHeart radio app. Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire. What was that? Yeah, you're still getting actually the best of both worlds because you're committed to being in the space that you're in. But where I'm really in balance, I think I'm trying to get better as I get older is I've always treasured fun and good times and friends and family above all else, above my work every time. But when I actually look at how much time I spend on my work and how much time I spend on my family and friends and having fun, it's probably eight to two maybe. And that's unhealthy. I should really be at least 50-50 and that's what I'm working on now. Just do it. Well, just do it. But I have to let go of some of my business goals, which would be a problem. What are your business goals? I don't have any, but I'm still working hard at them. What are you chasing, Barbara? What is the moment where you go, I've done enough. More success, more notoriety, more notoriety, helping more people, influencing more people. I get tremendous satisfaction out of getting little notes and texts and emails saying, oh, you helped me so much. I never thought of this and you changed my life. I'm sure it's exaggerated. But that makes me feel like my life is where it's wild. I love that. I don't want to give that up. No, actually, speaking of that, we have a voice note, don't we? Oh, yeah. Somebody left a message for you. I think her name was Kelly. Is that what we had? It's a little segment we did called Voice Notes and people send us voice notes and for our guests. Yeah. Thanks to our friends at Boost Mobile for our voice. And, you know, we got our sponsors. Our Boost Mobile Voice Notes. Thankfully, you have your sponsors. I love my sponsors, especially Boost Mobile and our Voice Notes. Segment. Hi, Barbara. My name is Kelly. We've been with a few years ago and my husband and I were trying to buy our first home and you gave me some really great advice on how to make our offer sexier by offering them mortgage contingency as scaling offer. And I'm here to say that your advice helped us get our dream home and we couldn't be happier. It changed our life and we are so appreciative of you. Oh, that sounds sincere, doesn't it? That's what I live for. That's what I live for to hear that. Yeah. I mean, you know, yes, those are the moments, right? Definitely. Those are the moments that probably happens all the time. All the time. And I'm happy to give real estate advice. But what more do I like than giving life advice? People who are stuck when people are stuck and they can't see the other mountain ahead of them. I love opening their eyes because it's the truth. I just speak the truth and they hear it and they start to look at the mountain on the other side. You know, I just feel like it can make people change, get them off their stuck spot. And that gives you like joy. Yeah, very much so. Yeah. So I think this era of yours is more media than. It's entirely media. Yes. And even real estate or business or work, right? I mean, it's not really. I'm still very serious about real estate, let's say. Yes. I buy very smartly. I use as the people to locate my properties. I readily make partners of people who have no experience, but know the neighborhood. I make them my partner because I know I have a set of eyes and ears and toes on the ground that really know what's good more than a broker selling you stuff. You know, I just say find me the best property that you have in your neighborhood. And I'll give you a 10 percent of the deal. Wow. And you'll stay my partner forever. I don't appreciate. What? 10 percent is a normal rate or no. It's my own little cooked up thing. 10 percent. I give them. And then when I sell the property 10 years later, 20, 30 years later, it's worth so much more because it's the right property that was built. Now, what I have found is that I have the money and these people that I make my partners, they have the talent and they also have the time. I can't go and scout that neighborhood and find out the best possible property. And I also get the added benefit of getting someone starting a business. They're in business now. They're a partner, a buyer, a broker. And wow. And they go out and look for other properties and they make sure whatever they buy because they're going to be in it with me is the right property. So I can have total trust and delegation. How do you identify talent? Like are there things in people that you see? Instinct. I, I, I look for certain traits, of course. I look for energy. I've never met anyone without energy who was successful. I don't know if you have. If there's no energy, there's no success. No. And unless you happen to have some God given musical talent. Well, that's a little different or technology. Even then, it without energy, it will only go so far and you won't take it as far as you can. Yes. So energy is very important. Yeah. I also think what's so important and it's hard to evaluate, but you can really sniff it out. If you, if you talk to people enough, if somebody's been a loser or he's had to come through hardship, how well did he bounce up? I love to have people who know how to bounce up. You know, they're not just going to lay low and wait. They're going to just get back up because if you have that trait, you're going to be successful period. You're just going to be successful. So I'm always looking for that. But so far as identifying the talent that I need for what task I want to get done. I really know what I'm lacking. And I'll say, well, I'm great at marketing. I'm great at merchandising that apartment, but I'm no good at financing. How will I really finance it? You know, where will I go for that? I look for a partner who knows that part of the equation and I will make them my partner because it's strong at it. I don't look for somebody like myself like myself and values. And like myself in empathy, but not like myself in talent. I just don't need more talent in the marketing advertising area. You know, you got that stuff. What about people who are and you probably come across this all the time when you did it on the shark tank, but. Now, there's so many people sitting at home probably watching this, looking to looking at our conversation right now and have some idea that they're that they believe in and for some reason, they haven't started it. And how do you maybe even doubting themselves? And I know it probably goes back to instinct, like you said, but how do you know where do you even begin to know if your idea, if your crazy little idea is a good one? We have me and Brittany who work together. We're always like, this would be a good idea. And then you know, you start and then you have another. I have too many ideas. How do I know if my 10 ideas, which is the idea? Yeah, that I should put all my my bread in the basket. I think what you have to do with an idea is number one, get it started right away. Don't be second guessing and analyzing and having a business plan because they don't work once you get to the street. So just get it off the ground. Assuming you get it off the ground, you have to take it to the street and see how people respond to it. I haven't more people who thought it was a great idea to have a ridiculous product. They took it to the street and said, would you pay for this? How much would you pay? You could survey. And if nobody responds to it, you've got a bum of an idea. Yeah, don't waste any more time or anything. Most ideas are not good. Most ideas, nine out of ten are not good. Nine out of ten? I would think in the business I invested in, I would say one in three are good ideas and shaktan eliminated most of the bad ideas. So still only one in three are good idea. Wow. So. OK, what are those? All your old businesses? No, I haven't. I haven't really done lunch and launched a lot of businesses. We do podcasts. I'm just kidding. You're flipping the cards like that. Probably you probably have that many old businesses that millions. Yeah, really? Yeah, not millions, but hundreds of businesses. But you know what I do? I think you'd find this interesting. OK, three months after shark tank is on and everybody's happy because they've been found, they're selling their product. They're incredible. I bring them into my office to squeeze their heads in because they get in a big head and I could feel it. OK. So I just ask them, what do you want to accomplish in your business? And they asked me a series of 15, 20 questions that they really want to know for me and they start writing down my answers on a yellow pad or whatever they brought with them. And I know it's going to fail because they're taking me on face value like I have the answers. When I get an entrepreneur that comes in and they listen to me, don't take notes. I know they're going to go out and do what they want. And I know I have a winner. And I tell you, it's a tried and true test. Three months after shark tank, I know who my winners and losers are. And you know what I do? I have everybody in a framed picture of all my entrepreneurs around my office. If you ever come, you see all these happy faces before the three months hits. And then you see two thirds of them turned upside down on my wall because I realized they're on the website. They are on that first meeting. I go on and I turn them upside down. They took too many notes. They're upside down. Is that maybe that's a reflection of they don't have their own vision for it? They're kind of leaning on it. Because people who are in their own business like you, you know, you're going to make that call. Yeah. You'll seek out advice sort of. Yeah. But it's only half advice. You're going to make the call. And that's the mark of a true entrepreneur. They make the call. Yeah. Got to be a call. Yeah. So I've got a lot of upside down pictures, unfortunately, where I've lost my money. Have you ever done that where you listen to somebody else early in your I always listen to someone, but from the very early days, I made up my own mind what I was going to do. No matter how big a powerful a person was, I would listen. Wow, Namer to go home and go, he's full of shit. That doesn't really make any sense. But it didn't make any sense measured against my borrower. Yeah. Because I had my own big borrower and I measured everything against. Yeah. That was kind of like the beginning of self confidence. You don't see it as that, but it is the beginning of self confidence. Sure. And then develops in there. Yeah. That's why I was wondering if you'd ever had those a moment of why did I listen to that person? Oh, no, I would have. I don't think I've ever made that mistake. Even when someone was buying my business, they gave me a great argument. I mean, why twenty two million dollars was the right price for my business? They really did. I listened to them, listened to them. I said, sure, but I want 66. It's my lucky number. That's it. That makes no logic. But I knew I wanted 66 and I got it. I think the fear for people, too, is missed opportunity, maybe, or like you said, or confidence. It's a lack of belief in themselves. You know, three years before I sold my business, Maryland Shwerner by my business, I was so flattered. I was so happy. They were offering me two million dollars for my business. This is right before I sold it. It was a terrible year. I had no sales. I felt, oh, my gosh, they want me. They want me, you know, they must be really smart. All these guys that come in for visits and everything, and they change their mind or I would have sold my business. I'm embarrassed to admit I would have sold it to them. And there I was a few years later selling it for so much more money. But I really thought I would never get another offer like this was a one time thing. I didn't have the confidence that I would think I would make it through that trough. Yeah. And rise back up. I was at a low point in my confidence and I was vulnerable. Thank God they changed your mind. Sometimes it's you think you lost something. You find a finding something very often when you look back, you lost nothing at all. Or you actually think of it as a lucky break. Yeah, I've had many instances where I look back and thank God that happened. Yeah, it always works out. Yeah, we usually works out. Usually works out. You sound like a mother now. Yeah, my mother. Um, what is what is something that you've spent your money on that had changed your life? I think the first thing I spent money on was I went to Bergdorf Goodmans with my first commission check of 340 and I bought the fanciest coat I could find. I had no right being there. The lady didn't looked at me like I couldn't afford it in my P coat, you know, but I walked out of there with that fancy coat with fur on it. And why it was so important is I walked out of there as a real estate queen. It changed my mind and I wore for four years every day covering up my clothing that nobody ever saw because I always worked on the street opening apartment doors and just having the confidence to buy that coat and make myself who I wanted to be became my compass. I don't think I would have done it without the coat on us. Got three, three, thirty right up to the three forty. I think I went home with a few bucks in my pocket paying cash for a coat and walking out with a coat on my back and a smell. New the collar. It was some kind of a dog fur on the collar. Currently smell good. I had it also on the cuffs. I could smell it again. So you're marketing yourself. I was marketing myself. So anything I've done in my life where I've spent money, which would appear silly, was always on marketing expense in some way. Even when my business was very large, I would spend money on an office. I couldn't afford. I would spend money on a partner. I couldn't afford to buy a salesman. I couldn't afford to pay. But those are always my best calls always. Yeah. When you when you when it's going to move the business forward. It always moves the business forward. Yeah. Without a doubt. Yeah. And you got to kind of be fearless about that a little. Well, or reckless. Both. Hold on what you want. Or both. Um, what is a guilty pleasure for Barbara Corcoran? I don't feel guilty about anything. Really? I accept of them overspending. I feel like I'm overspending. Like going to the Cayman Islands. That is a guilty. Yeah, that would be a good guilty present. That means you love it, right? Travel. Which is there. Well, I travel so much for business. It's lost a little bit. So lower to sit on a plane again. Yeah. You know, you know, the Cayman Islands, I would say would be qualified. That's your place. Guilty pleasure. Yeah. Do it. It's as close by. Do it big barb. Do it. Um, hmm. If these are my real life questions, we have a bowl full of them, but I'm just going to give them to you. I am no longer available for negative people. I've voided them by a mile. They really reach into your pocket in the middle of the night and steal your emotional health. They really do. I just think of them as a bad leprechaun kind of, you know, in the middle of the night. Now I feel any vibe at all on negativity ice. Steer away from it. And you know, you can really judge it. Some people I've interviewed some people where they're positive in every way. But after they leave my office, I feel like I have a little cloud of sadness. I can't describe it. I can't believe what I'm feeling like. Why would I really accuse them of being sad? They acted happy, but happy people live, leave a little cloud of happiness behind my friends. Do they leave my apartment? I could still feel their presence. I meet somebody on the street who's very happy. I walk down the street feeling happy afterwards. They have a residual of happiness. And it's true. I just would have worried negative people. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. They suck you down. It just then, because sometimes people could be in a bad space in their life or be in in a moment, but is there a difference? Like how can you identify a negative? Everybody has a bad day. Yeah. And then that you'd say, Hey, how are you doing? It will be better tomorrow. That's different. But a negative place person looks at life. As like the downside, you know, if you make a policy change running a business, they'll tell you everything wrong with it. If you hire a person who has something about their personality that's unagreeable, but everything about them is phenomenal. They'll focus on the negative. They always find the negative. They find the negative. And the worst part about it, especially in a sales organization, I always made my money on sales, especially in a sales organization. They never feel sorry for themselves alone. They've run a little pity party and they invite somebody else in. Usually a positive person. Really, it's just terrible. Yeah. You got to get rid of them right away. Really negative people you can't have in your life. In business and life. As well. Yeah. Sure. Um, I'm at my best when? When I'm playing, really playing with anybody. Yeah. It's the most fun. When I walk in a room, I want people to feel happy to see me. I think that's very important. Like I'm adding something. Here comes somebody who will add something to whatever we're doing. That makes you feel good. Yeah. Makes me feel good. Are you an emotional person? Like deep inside. Deep inside I am, but no, I would say not. Yeah, because sometimes women in business, you know, you got to be tough. You got to be strong. Your skin is going to be thick. I never apologized for being a woman in business. In fact, I never thought of myself as a woman in business. I thought of myself always as a competitor. I measured myself against men I was competing with. I never thought I had a disadvantage. And so far as being a woman in a smaller business in the early days and thinking, how will I ever climb that mountain? I always thought I had a great advantage that nobody was watching me. I could do whatever I wanted. I had freedom. Nobody cared about me. Nobody was watching me. So I never thought I had a disadvantage in the female area at all or the smallness area. I always saw them as I saw myself as an equal, maybe not an accomplishment, but in capability. But what about in business? Can you be are you emotional in business? Not at all. You know, I'm a cold as ice. I have to say. Wow. I make Martha Stewart look warm. Stop it. I really did my decision making and my and my judgment of things. I'm hard as a rock. I listen hard and then I decide and you cannot change me once I decide. Not at all. Yeah. Do you think that's necessary to to to have the success that you've had, especially for women? No, I think there are different styles, but I think there's no room for emotion. If you're a woman, especially in business, the one the minute I had a manager once in a while, who would cry over just having a bad day because we all have bad days. She was marked. I never trust her was more responsibility again. Really? Yeah, I never did. I never forgot because I thought we can't cry in business. You just can't cry. Have you never cried? Never have. No, I go home and I feel sad and I challenge myself and I wonder what the hell I did wrong and well, I make it and I'll be worried. Worryed, but it's a little different than crying. Worried is the beginning of what you're going to do about it. Crying is an end. You know, I'm crying. I'm crying over this. Not a good sign. Solution. Find solutions. Yeah. Work on this. Well, you know, it's business. It's nothing but a series of problems. You just have to hop over. So feeling, yeah, crying would not fit in. What do you think your legacy? What are you as we're wrapping up? Like, what do you hope the span of your career and your media career and the things that you left with people? Like, what do you hope people say about you? And it sounds so much what they say about me because I really don't care. I'll be dead. What do I care? You know, but what I think I would like people to say about themselves as a more capable than I thought I was a much more capable than I thought I was. Because I really believe everyone is more capable than they think they are. And I've helped people move people off that spot, of course, of being incapable. But I'd like to feel like I influence people, particularly women, that they could accomplish more and be bigger than I ever thought they would be. And it's real, not just like a whole stream, but the real. And if I had any influence on that, which I think I have with a lot of people, I feel really good about my life. You know, it's really, it's funny. It's exactly what my mother did with us. She made us all think we were great. I'd hope to do that again, you know, my own way. I think you've done pretty well. I hope so. I'm trying hard. I'm ready to start my business. Leave them. Leave leave our listeners or viewers. Everybody who was sitting home who has a thing. What's the one thing? Get it going. Yeah. Get it going. I mean, nine out of 10 ideas never make it because they never get started. You're getting it all right. You know, Harvey Business School teaches you need a plan. I mean, so she's such a dunce. Just get it going. Go. And then you discover what the issues are when you get out in the street. You just know what you got to do, Bob and weave. Then no crime. Just get it going. You don't have to prepare it so much. And no crime. Yeah. No crime. You're amazing. Thank you for today. Thank you very much. Barbara Corcoran, everybody. I'll clap for that. Clap for you. Clap for you. Yes, he used to talk to. I knew you would because I watched interviews. You do things. Yeah. You really bring out the truth in people. Thanks. This is Barbara Corcoran in real life. No gloss. No filter. Just stories. Spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachon on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire.