What Our Husbands Always Wondered But Were Too Afraid to Ask | Sadie, Christian, Will & Abby

Well your skin really does look good. Thanks. So you're using... I use ITK. Yeah. Nice. I use their exfoliating face wash, exfoliating toner. He's always got really great skin though. Deep moisturizer. I don't get acne. Yeah. You know what I use? I use that one by your eye. Water. Agua. Agua. Yeah, I was going to say I've actually never seen you do skincare. See, but my skin can get so dry. I've never done a single thing of skincare. But. Other than lotion. And pore strips. That's not skincare. Yes it is. Pore strips is skincare. Yeah, but it's like knockoff, cleaning up your pores. Yeah. Yeah, but it's not like makeup. It's just skincare. Pores is your skin. No. Well skincare is not makeup. No, skincare is not makeup. 90% of skincare is makeup. No, it's not. Yes it is. No. It is literally not. Yes it is. That's crazy to say. Skincare is not makeup. 90% of our makeup is skincare, but not the other way around. If I did whitening strips, is that considered skincare? No. No. Like on your teeth? Oral care. That's like. That's body and body. That's why your pore strips are skincare. That's your skin. Because you're taking care of your skin. Well are there some like luxurious like pore strip brands? Well just because it's like juice doesn't mean that it's skincare or not skincare. Like skincare is a wide range of like makeup. I could go buy makeup from CVS or Sephora and they're both makeup. You know what I'm saying? If I just buy like a 50 cent pore strip at Walgreens. Skincare. Skincare. You're taking care of your skin. Skincare isn't just for the bougie things of life. Like I'm not so like I'm not putting on makeup. Christian thinks he's doing makeup. No. I use ITK lash next door. What if I use like a specific tweezer for like my eyebrows? Is that skincare? No that's hair care. No but skincare is like face wash moisturizer which is good for guys and girls. Owner, setting is great. It's not makeup. Not bingo. But make. Okay. This is going to be a question I'm going to ask you. Okay. Since we're on a show. Let's get to today's episode. Happy Wednesday everybody. It is November 19th. It is a day seven years ago. Christian told me he loves me. It's a good day to be alive. I actually think he told me the 20th but for some reason in our memory bank we always say the 19th. Because we got married in 2019. Yeah that's what happens. You just kind of like. I see the 11 and the 19 and I'm like that's the day he told me he loved me but it's the 20th. I'll just say I'm jumping the gun a little bit. And you're dyslexic. I am dyslexic and that is part of the problem. Which is part of the problem. But it's a big problem. Every time I see 11, 19 I'm like you told me you love me or we got married or neither actually. You told me on the 20th in 2019. The 20th. Yeah it's hard to remember everyone. Okay all that to say. That's a big date. All that to say today's episode is going to be super fun. Let me tell you the title of it because I like the way that we wrote it. What our husbands wondered but we're too afraid to ask. This could get juicy. Abby's already made the rules not to roast her. I didn't even try to make that rule because I know that rule would be broken. I'm okay as long as I'm not the only one getting roasted. If we're in this together. Okay so as long as Christian makes the first blow then I can start. You don't have to wait long. We've already been roasted. I'm scared to do this but I'm handing over that hosted. Your dyslexia is not a disability. What is that Christian? Thank you. What did I roast you for then? Other than me calling you dyslexic. I was more to do about the skincare. Me disagreeing about poor shit being skincare is not a roast. That's just subtle banter. Anything you're roasting yourself. That's true. Witty banter. I love banter but not witty banter. That was very encouraging. If you're either listening and if you're dyslexic it is not a disability. Amen Christian. Thank you. Okay question number one. I know you're actually being serious. I am being serious. Never mind. What are you going to say? No, no, no. Your voice matters. What are you going to say? You're so inspiring today. I just want to say thank you for having us today. It's very special. This is the first time that Abby and I have been on together. What? I didn't even introduce you all. Hold on. Welcome to the world of that scared podcast. Will and Abby. TikTok's favorite couple. Thank you. Hey. Happy to be here. I really am. When I looked at the calendar it said TikTokers. Will and Abby. I was like wait. No, wait, what? He's joking. Last night he said, I'm so excited for that podcast we have tomorrow interview and those TikTokers. I was like who? He just was quiet. I was like, oh, Will and Abby. But no, actually thank you for pointing that out. I didn't even interview you all because I actually already did a podcast with Abby today. So we've been bantering back and forth and now we're glad to have you in the hot seat. You're hosting this. Y'all are in the hot seat today. We're in the hot seat. Oh shoot. We have the easy job. We have to ask the question. We have the easy job now. Maybe the hard job later when we're having to reconcile what's about to go down. Question number one. This is one for all the men out there wondering about women. What do you really mean when you say, I'm fine? Depends on the situation. Am I saying it like that? What's the time it's used in that context? It's in like a downcast. Because I think there's two ways. I think I could be like, that was like, I'm sad and I'm fine. But then there's another. It's like, I'm fine. That's different. If it's like I'm fine, period. It's like what's going on? Or like you good? There's like an I'm fine period or like I'm fine. There's one that's like, oh my gosh, are you okay? You were like, I'm fine. Like that's like the sad. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's all in how you say it. Okay. What about you, Abby? I'd say there's probably three for me too. It's either I'm fine period. I'm fine dot dot dot. I want you to ask me a little bit more. And wait, yeah. And then I'm fine like wiping my tear away. I think I have four. You have four? Like, yes. But for me, the fourth would be like, I'm fine. Like question mark. Fine. Yeah, like, that's true. Like I'm fine. Why are you asking that actually happened to me the other day? That's a good one. I'll add my foot. Yeah, that actually happened to me the other day. A friend was like asking me if I was okay because I was so busy like getting the house ready when she got there. She's like, are you okay? You seem like you're like so busy, like scattered. And I go, I'm fine. And then I was like, hey, don't, don't Martha me. You're doing a great job. I'm Mary. I'm in prison. I just have kids or. You're crazy. But that was an I'm fine question mark because I thought I was late. Do I not look fine? But typically, yes, the sad and fine means like I'm sad, but I am fine. Like I'm okay. Like I don't want to talk about it. I'm fine. But yes, obviously I'm crying, but I'm fine. Then there's like that. I'm actually just fine. And normally I'd be like, I'm actually just fine. That one comes with an actually. And then there's the I'm fine. Like I'm actually not fine. I'm very annoyed, but I'm not ready to talk about it. Yeah. I want to continue talking about it, but I want you to ask me. I don't want to have to. I'm fine. Dot, dot, dot is you playing hard to get. Yeah. Like I like it, but I'm being honest. I don't want to just share everything. I want you to ask me to share what I'm feeling. It's just like, it's like I'm fine. I'm fine. If I get hit with the I'm fine. It's like, oh, bleep. It's like, what did I do? Oh, I'm being like. Oh, it's real. I was going to say when I hit you with the I'm fine and like it's the right tone. It's like, I am not ready to talk about it. So like after this podcast when I say, hey, are you okay? And if you say I'm fine, I'm like, ooh, maybe I went too far on the, whoa, that's good. Okay. But no, everyone listening. This is good. This is why we're doing this because we're trying to help other people work on communication. And we're working on our own communication. And it actually is good to ask your significant other like, what does I'm fine mean to you? Because to Abby, she said she actually wants you to ask questions. I normally don't want you to ask questions. Like I'm like, I'm not ready to talk about it. You're just like, get out. Like get away from me. That's usually. So it's good to establish. And I didn't know you were the one that said you had four and that was good to know. That was so true. I have, I have two. I don't say I'm fine. I say I'm good. Yeah. I'm good. You're like, I'm good. I'm straight. I have two. Like I'm good means like nothing is wrong at all. Like I'm good. You're chill. Like you don't have to ask anything. I have no bad feelings right now. The other one is, it's like. I'm fine. It's loaded. Yeah. I'm good is like, yeah, I'm frustrated or I'm sad. There's actually a fifth one I could add to probably most of y'all. Of like, I'm fine. Then it's like a, it's not even a dot that it's like a comma or it's like a semicolon. You know, then it's like, actually, you know what, since you asked, it's, it's like, yeah, it's like a pause. But then it's actually, no, I want to be real. Actually, yeah, let me tell you. So it says has your day and you naturally say good, but then sometimes like, actually, it's really not good. Can I tell you what happened in my day? Yeah. That kind of fine. Let me share. Yeah. Okay. So we have to move on. I remember whenever we started low and I had all the what ifs, what if I fail? 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Duck commander does it. It's just honestly very simple and does everything for you. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash whoa. Go to Shopify.com slash whoa. Again, that Shopify.com slash whoa. You might really want to ask the second question. No, I would love to ask this question. You want new or two? I want number two. Okay. You go for this one. All right. This one's like coming for the jugular. Too giggly for J. All right. Get him, Bobby. So why is it that the wardrobe other other known as the closet, the closet is full of clothes and yet you always have nothing to wear when going out. Why is that? That did feel like you went for the jugular. It was. It was a lot of punches there with a yet. I mean, you answer it first and then finding to give some more, you know, bigger picture. The best way I feel like I can explain this is sometimes different outfits just don't go together. And when you can't figure out what part of your outfit you want to wear and try to match it with something that's just overwhelming and then it's like, okay, well, I just don't have anything to wear. That's true. And what I've noticed recently this, I know because she's just ready. She's just ready to say something about whatever I'm not saying. But what I've noticed is the things that take up the most space in your closet, which are like sweatshirts and like more casual stuff, that takes up so much space, but that's not what you're actually going to wear when you need to put together an outfit to go somewhere or like go to a wedding or goes. So it's like, oh, I don't have anything to wear. And you're looking at closet as full, which is confusing, but you're like 90% of this stuff I couldn't wear for this occasion. And the 10% I could wear for this occasion. I just wore for the last. Exactly. That's why I was about to say. So it's not the closet. That's the issue. No. My closet's a little small right now. Okay. That's a given. Our closet sucks. It's so small. It's like two square feet. Our closet in Texas was so nice. I just did a massive closet cleanup and it did feel really good. And I have to say less is more because the past few days I've had a much easier time picking out outfits. Now that I went through everything because I like now I'm seeing what goes with what and what actually have and it's easier to put together outfits. I would, I would like to go through like my stuff. I need to go through. I need to go through it. Just there's a lot of things that I haven't worn since like last year. And I'm just like, I think I'm going to wear this. I think seasons changes are really hard for me. Like remembering how I put together outfits with a sweater versus just a shirt or like a top. And you kind of got to find your new style based off the trends. You're like, okay, how am I going to fit that trend into the wardrobe kind of thing? Well, even I was telling Mary Kate this today and she thought this was funny. I was telling her how it got rid of so much clothes and I said, I finally got rid of my in faith jeans. And then she was like, what are in faith jeans? I was like, oh yeah, like jeans like in faith, I'm going to fit into them again. But I don't right now. And I said, I just made that up. But I said it as if it was like a thing because I've always called them my in faith jeans. And then I was like, I got rid of those because I'm like, I don't need in faith jeans. I'm wearing jeans that fit me today. And if you're going to sit in my closet and be the wrong size, you're getting out. Yeah. I'm not too long ago of just like anything that I want to wear one day again. I just like whatever I'm not doing. Well, you both do have great style. Thank you. That is so sweet, babe. Thank you. But probably sometimes you have more to wear than you think. That's probably true. I received that. Whether we want to wear it or not. That's true. That's true too. My favorite is we'll have an event and say I need to wear a dress for it. I just have nothing to wear. And I'm like, I'm looking at probably 30 options that you could wear. It's that you don't want to wear. I have to say though, my closet was also full of like, like stuff I wore in pregnancy. I'm still like that kind of postpartum, like different than whenever before I had kids. I feel like I had a lot of stuff in my closet that just didn't fit my body for right now. And that's what I mean. Like I had to get rid of the stuff that was just sitting there. That's like not going to even fit my style as a mom. There's stuff. I don't know. I just feel like that's hard. Maybe girls out here are relating to what I'm trying to say, but I don't really know how to say. There's like you really youthful wardrobe pieces. Yes. And then there's pieces that are like more mom coded almost. Yes. And it's not that I always have to be like a mom. No. So like I just don't know that that fits me right now. And to practically like short dresses. I'm like, I can't wear any short dress chase kids around because I'm going to be a bin door or picking them up. It's just not appropriate. So I'm thinking logistics. I'm thinking through logistics. Okay. Move on. Well, saying I wouldn't mind it if you did. Thank you. Okay. Moving on. I'll skip question three for a second. For a second. I think it's about us. Don't feel like it's maybe timely. Yeah. This one's also about us, but in a more deep manner. What is something small I do that bothers you, but you don't say anything about it? I'm probably say something about it. I think if there's something I haven't told you. All right. This could shift the afternoon. I don't want this to be the first place I ever hear of it. This could really shift the afternoon. I'm saying I'm fine. If I tell me something. What is something small I do something small that you do. This is really small, but it does kind of annoy me. Is that you have those long eyebrows that you won't let me just like cut or tweeze. And then I see you over there trying to pull them out of your fingers and I'm like, why will you not just let me cut them? Because it hurts when you tweeze our mouth. I could just scissor them. Scissor them. I can just trim to here. It takes two seconds. I could be better at that. That's just a small thing. You can scissor them tonight. The other small thing, I won't say. Cut them with scissors. You can trim them tonight. You can trim them with the scissors. You can cut them with scissors tonight. Trim them. You can trim them tonight. That's just a very small thing. If that's, I will take that. Abby, what about your man? You make me want to go smaller than where I was going. That was very small. What you're going to say is really going to shift the other man. No, I was thinking about this morning, Will's like, like trying to nonchalantly look in the window at the coffee shop. And I was like, Will, you are not casual right now. So I was like. That bothered you? Yes. Sometimes you think that you like really are like not looking a certain way, but you are. I was like, babe. That is funny. That's how you're a grown-up guy. You're noticing the way that they are. You're literally, you know what I was doing? I was just watching the guy. I know. Do the caramel drizzle on the coffee. I just wanted to see it. He just wanted to make it. I was literally like. You were trying to be nonchalant. I don't know. I don't know something funny. This is maybe something small. I do the bothers you, but the small thing is actually, it's big. Yesterday on the undershame podcast, we were talking about the poop story stuff and I made the joke about, yeah, like sometimes when I forget to flush the toilet and make Sadie mad, they're like, you forget to flush the toilet. I'm like, you've never like accidentally forgotten to flush. They're like, no, I don't think I've ever not flushed. And I'm like, if I get distracted and I'm like, you know, I just forget to flush. And then you always are like, look, who forgot to flush the toilet. Okay. Well on that note, you know, it really does, you know what I mean? And this is potty talk. This needs to be said. You literally, I'm going to say toot all the time, like, unashamedly you squat. You have been ripping them lately. What are you? You're coming at me. You've been so gasped. I've been. I've been. I've been. No, this is what I'm saying. It doesn't annoy me that you do. It annoys me that when I do, it's like, brah. I'm like, you've done it three times today. I do one time and you're like, brah. That's what we do because like, it's different. My toots, they're very. My toots are very, it's just like bait, like, like, it's their big toots. One, but like, but hers. She lets one out. That it's revolutionary to him. I don't understand. So the small thing that bothers you is not that you have gas. It's that when I do. No, that's what I'm saying. I don't mind that you have gas. I don't mind that you do something funny about it. I mind that when I just casually do it. Just trying to. Next time you just rip it. I'll just like give you a head nod. That's what's up. I'll just be like, yo. All right. No, you can't. Baby. You can even laugh. I'll depth you up. It's the look of disgust that I get. It's like a disgust. Like, I think it's cute, but it is also like a brah. What you doing? What you doing? Next time just be like, give me something. I'll tap you up next time. I'm not aware of my skin today. I don't give you a kiss. This one might be out there for someone listening, but we'll can ask it. I don't really have any kind of preference on this, but you'll might. What's the, what's the correct number of throw pillows on a bed and why is it never zero? Six seven. That's the first time I ever done it. Sorry I had to. You don't even own six or seven throw pillows. Thanks for having us. We forgive you. Which technically that means nothing. So you're saying zero. Oh, that was a two. No, that's true. Technically six seven means nothing. Okay. I literally never said that in my life. There's no true meaning. Can I say, can I say that six seven is not funny to me at all? Like, I got that was funny. Like you did that. I was like, I felt it. That was kind of like the look Christian gives me when I fart. Nice. No, and if that's the look I give you, then I need to work on that. Cause that is hurtful. I'm just kidding. There are a number of pillows on the bed. You are a metaphor. It's funny because like people will just die laughing. And I'm like, okay, back to the pillows. I think we found an even balance of we have, how many do we have? We have five. We have five. Two big ones. Like at all times. Yeah. Two big ones, two small ones. We make our bed every single day. And then one lumbar. A lumbar. That's what it's just like the long fancy choice of words. Yeah. It's like a long one. I'm not very detailed in my life. I don't even know how many pillows. Do y'all make your bed every day? No. We have, we have two pillows that are on our bed. They're actual pillows. That's the ones you layer heads on. Every morning. If we count our head pillows, that's nine pillows on our bed. We have two. We have two king size pillows that we sleep on. And then we have two regular size lumbar. We take the five off and then we just have two pillows on the bed at night. In my mind, I really want to be someone who makes it every day, but I've like, I've like told myself to do it a lot of times in my life and listen to inspiring motivational things about doing it. And I still, it hasn't caught me. Okay. Moving on. This kind of, I'm going to jump to number 10 here. Whoa. What are you really doing when you say you're getting ready, getting ready in quotes? Getting ready. Like, like, I really am getting ready and I'm probably listening to an audio book or a podcast. Not doing a scrolling ever. I listen. That's like my, that is my time to listen to books or sermons. When I, okay, when I get up, I just start getting ready and I don't really get on my phone or sometimes I don't even talk until I'm like done getting ready. Yeah. And that's it. She won't, I don't, like my getting ready time is my getting ready time. Like it's like, if I'm still in bed, you're just like, hey, time to get up. Yeah. And then like, the only thing that I would say is like, not part of like actually getting ready would be me just like talking to Ollie or like pet Nolly or something or taking her outside. That's inspiring. I'm very like ADD kind of. So I can't just like do one task at a time. I have to like start my makeup. I'll like get up and I'll go get dressed and I'll do my hair. Then I go brush my teeth. You're such a multi-tasker. I'm like, I'm like opening the window shades while I'm brushing my teeth. I like to kind of move around. Do that kind of stuff. Yeah. Like blow dry your hair. You're like, no, no, no, like moving with the leg. Yeah. Yeah. My arm stretches over to the window. What is that? Well, same about you. Like moving your windows change like with your leg, like while you're brushing your teeth and then blow dry your hair. No, I'm brushing my teeth and I'm doing the same thing at the same time. My legs just wall. I should really, I can't wait. We need to do a podcast where we ask the questions to y'all. Let's do a part two. See which one better. We are at a part two because I'm very curious what you're doing. Let's do it. Make it a competition. Yeah. Um, can we wait? I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Was that your I'm fine? We can ask number eight. Let's just let's do a little curve ball. I'm so curious what number three was. Yeah. Yeah. You can ask number three. All right. Number eight, what part of our life is really fun right now? You have an answer quick. I don't have an answer quick. Besides everything. We've had a lot of fun lately. Um, this is sometimes chaotic, but what is really fun to me is when bedtime, when me and you are laying down with honey and Haven and reading books and making up stories and all that kind of stuff. That is very fun. And I like, no, it's not going to last forever. So I feel like bottling it up whenever we have those fun storytelling times. It is chaotic though. It is, but it's also like, this is really fun. And this stage is like, going to go by way faster than I wanted to. It's true. I feel like I'm in the same, like I just want, I know it's not forever. I want to just soak up the time just between us, but I don't feel like one certain part of our day is like the most fun. Yeah, we only have much fun during the day. Oh, I think that's really fun. That's our Monday night. Monday, take time to lie in Legos. Yeah, that's fun. That is fun. But we like watch a lot of TV together and like. Yeah, watch a lot of shows. We do. Name all your shows your what? What? I just started golden bachelor. We're watching right now, but survivor amazing race special forces Kardashians. Kardashians. What's the Kardashians are keeping up with Kardashian? No, Kardashian. We did watch Keeping Up, but it's changing. But you caught up. Nobody were about to start. Nobody wants this dancing with the stars. Nobody wants this is a show. Yeah, it's with Kristen Bell. It's actually very funny. Dancing with the stars. Big brother. We did watch. Big brother ended already. What? But that was these are all current. These are current airing TV shows that only watching House of David right now. Only murders in the building just finished. Only murders in the building just finished. You need to watch House of David. I want to watch House of David. Have you seen the first season? We just watched All The Chosen. No. Season two just came out. I'm legit. We watched The Chosen all the way through. I'm watching One Punch Man. I don't know. We watched a lot of shows. That is commitment. Yeah. We just finished. Well, she just finished Love is Blind. Terrible season. It's really bad. It's a nightmare. I didn't watch all of it, but I knew enough. The list goes on. That is crazy. You know what was fun? We kind of trialed off. We were watching Reba. And then Reba is now going off Netflix. No. I think it's off now. That's very sad. Oh, by the way, fantastic four just going on Disney Plus. Shut the front door. Wait, did you finish Thunderbolts? Everybody wants us to start a podcast. I'm like, guys, there's really no like, there's no, everybody has a podcast in family. I was like, there's no room for us. And then people were like, well, people are like, what if y'all get on and just talk about like TV shows and movies and like Legos and like just random stuff. It's like a pop culture podcast. Yeah. That may be fun. You could do like all the Easter eggs. I don't know what's happening ever. Like our version of New Rock Stars. You could do that. All right. Number three, we're circling back to you. All right. Am I ready for number three? Let me take one more sip of my chai that tastes like a candle. Just look directly at me when I'm asking you. It tastes like a candle. What is the most attractive thing about me? Are you serious? And there's part two. And is it still the same from when we first met? Oh, that's interesting. Let's take a breather on that one. Let's see. The most attractive thing about you right now? Was that the first part? I mean, and is it still the same? Oh, like there could be something else. If it, if it, I think one of the best things slash most attractive things about you is how you like love people and how everybody is like drawn to you because you're just such like a lovable light person and that stayed the same. Like, man, I thought you were going to say like, I'm so glad you went first. Sorry. Because I would have been like, I also love your physical appearance. That helps. That was, that was actually really sweet. Thanks. I love that. Just one baby. Okay. Well, is that the same as when you met me? What? Physical attraction? No. What? Like, is that the same thing? Being people being drawn to you? Yes. Okay. I'll just go with the first thing that came ahead before I was swayed by her answer. That was really beautiful. One of the things that I think is the most attractive thing about you that I originally was very attracted to and still am is how athletic you are. That was very attractive to me because that's how we really like, when we did, we bonded. We were dating. We bonded so much over playing tennis, playing basketball. We threw the football all the time because we both like stuff like that. So I feel like that was like a very bonding thing in our relationship and still is. It's so true. Well, that was number three. That was the, that was, that was the, ooh. I love how you held out. I just feel like we needed to kind of do some other things before I went there. Number 12. Okay. This one's good. You got it, Bobby. Do you ever rehearse what you're going to say before bringing something up because women always know what to say? Oh yeah. Do you want me to ask that? I rehearse in my mind. What? I was saying, because you didn't really get it. So I was asking about it. No, I got it. Okay. All right. My bad. She was just rehearsing. I was rehearsing. My fault. My fault. That's actually funny. I was just like figuring out what I was going to say, but I feel like sometimes men, I'm not saying all men do this, but sometimes men start their sentence not knowing how the end is going to come out to be. And I just, I feel like I think of the whole sentence before I say it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think that's true. I don't know. I guess I kind of rehearse it, but I can't agree to that. I don't look at myself in the mirror and say, I'm going to say this, this and this. You know? I have done that before though. Okay. Different people. I can agree. I mean, it's, this is like, I'm not trying to say that like you dig on me all the time about this, but like sometimes you just like think, just think before you say it. Yeah. That's fair. It's fair. I mean, I'm like, I didn't think that. I'm like, wow, yeah. Sometimes I just get, yeah. Sometimes I stop you and say, just, just rehear that sentence and then reformat it and then tell me it again and it'll sound better. You get mad whenever I say like, you could have said it like this. You're always like, well, yeah, I could have, but I, but I didn't think to say it like that in the moment. I think that's because typically we do and sometimes to a fault overthink what we're going to say. So there is a lot of thought that goes into what we say, even though it doesn't always come out great and not always. Obviously everybody says things that are like, oh, I shouldn't have said it like that, even if I did think it out or whatever. But sometimes guys would just say something and then it's like, oh yeah, maybe I should have thought about that and girls do that too. But I do think we tend to overthink which can be a problem in and of itself. But for me, like with even what I do because so much of what I do is communication, podcasting, book writing, speaking is all communication. And whenever I'm going to give a message on stage, like one of the things that helps me prepare is to rehearse in my mind how I'm going to say it. And even when I'm typing out my message and working on it in the room, like I imagine myself saying it and if I can't imagine myself saying it and it doesn't come out naturally or right, then I delete it. And then I'm not going to say it. It has to come out naturally and authentically. So I say it just say since I already kind of programed my brain to do that, it's easy for me to accidentally slip into that and just my normal day life to rehearse what I'm going to say before a conversation. Let me, you don't ever go look at yourself in the mirror and be like, so what do I really mean by that? Are you rapping? No, I was meaning like, do you like to look at inflections and facial kind of thing? The problem is because sometimes I rehearse like moments of a message. I'm saying like, I have found myself rehearsing even conversations. I'm going to have that day with somebody. Like if it's a big conversation I'm going to have, I have found myself doing that in front of a mirror. I'll be honest. That was, and that is vulnerable. What do you say? I also think like I'll be thinking about conversations that I may have. I feel like that is like me asking the Lord into those conversations. Like I don't, yeah. You're really, you're trying to be intentional about it and being like, okay, God help me with the right words to say. And just like open up the door to these conversations that I want to be like had. I get that. Well, if you all think it's been hot, it's about to get hotter. We're moving into a section called deeper questions. Oh my gosh. I'm going to jump to number seven. I'm just going to be honest with you. This is the only question of all the ones with a preface. Hold on. So you, are you pumping the brakes real quick? Wait, hold on. Give me a second. Are you pumping the brakes? I was just doing a California roll. All right. Go for it. I'm just going. California roll. I've never, did you say that? California stop. You know, it's like you don't come to a complete stop. Whoa. Is that why the sushi's called California roll? Baby, don't, don't, don't overthink this baby. I never heard that before. Okay. I think it's called a California stop. I might have just made up California roll. I was about to ask it. Why is a California roll called a California roll? Okay, let's ask number seven. Deeper questions. This is all with a preface. So get ready if you're listening. Buckle up. This is bold. But if you want to go there, I think it's something that can help. Ask the question. That can every, sorry. Is this the preface? Yes. This is bold. But if you want to go there, I think it's something every couple can relate to. How can a woman hold it together for everyone else, but have such a short fuse with her husband? Oh snap. Were we supposed to, were you supposed to say the preface out loud? 100%. I don't think you're. I was definitely supposed to say the preface. Okay. Oh my gosh, I'm crying because that, that is a good question. It is a good question. I wish I wasn't laughing so hard right now to answer this because that is a really good question. How can a woman hold all these, hold all these things together, but have a short fuse for their husband? Yes. A short answer, I feel like it's because you're my inner circle. Like I'm in person. Yeah. And I want to be able to come to you with things. I don't think it's like a short fuse issue, but it's just like you're my direct like. You feel most comfortable. Yeah. I don't, I mean, and you can tell me if I'm wrong. I don't really feel like you get the short fuse with me. If like when I think about who gets the short fuse, it's Cabo, our dog, because like I just have a little, like if Cabo gets on the table, eats something, all the stuff, like I'm like, Cabo makes me so annoyed because I'm like, man, I'm trying to hold it together for all the kids, get all their stuff and all the different things in life. And then when Cabo like eats the food or knocks it, it's like the one thing that like makes me like mad where not that I mean to Cabo, I'm not mean to Cabo, but I'm like, definitely more like annoyed about it. But with you, you don't think as much like before you. Yeah. I just seem like Cabo and I've noticed I need to be careful about that because like honey gets so mad at Cabo and I know it's because she sees me. Again, I'm not like mean to our dog. I love our dog so much. But when I think about short fuse, I think it's like the one thing that tips it over the edge when you're like trying to hold things together. But I think for me and you and our relationship, sometimes I can get snappy in the midst of like when I'm really busy. Like for instance, and one thing for me right now, this is kind of funny. This is very niche to our situation, like being postpartum. When I'm pumping and trying to do a million things, like I've noticed I'm like short fuse because like my body is trying to do something. I'm picking up something. I'm helping the girls and then I'll like snap at you and then I'm normally I try to I'm like, sorry, it's not you. Like I'm really stressed right now or like, sorry, I'll like tell you I'm pumping. I'm overwhelmed. I'm like overstimulated like so much is happening. So I feel like and maybe I wasn't as good about that earlier on now. I try to just communicate with you why I was short or why I snap or why I was like a little bit on edge and normally it has nothing to do with you. It's like I feel overwhelmed and when you asked me that, I just wasn't graceful. Those are very sweet and intimate moment. I'm being serious. No, that was, we had a connection there. That was good. That's good. I'm being serious. I'm just how fast you turn to another question. The problem is I've been rehearsing what I'm going to say right, right, right back to number 12 on the not deeper questions. Gotcha. But no, that was actually really, that was really sweet. I should have more to add on to that or no. No, I think you covered it pretty well. Cause I was, well, I was going to say, I was going to have another vulnerable moment. Vulnerable. Vulnerable. We saw this show one time and the guy said vulnerable the whole time and that's like Christian says that. It was a really funny thing. Vulnerable. No, but what I was going to say was I think most of the time it comes down to kind of what you said Abby, it's like when it's your person, that's the person that you respect the most, trust the most, love the most. And it's, so my point is there's someone else can say something to you and it doesn't bother you, but if the person that you respect the most, love the most. Okay. We had this moment recently. Yes, we did. Do you want to share? When you call me the, I can't, can I say that? No. What? No. Christian. No, I'm talking about at dinner with everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah. I think that's good to share. This is, this is the reason why there was a preference is because, hey, this is going to help a lot of people. If you don't want to share, it's okay. No, I want to share. But like John Reed and Jacob were roasting you for a solid hour and a half. Okay. Yes. So when we were in New York, I was just getting flamed at this restaurant. But you were also joking back to them. Yeah. Was this the one that we weren't at? We wanted to go to. Not to make you feel like a hot dog. Not to make you feel like a corn dog at a hot dog party. It ain't flattering. That's not flattering. Yeah. We're at a steakhouse. We're at a restaurant in New York and John Reed and Jacob had like two Guinness beers. I tried to sip and I was like, blah, that's gross. And then I was like, get roasted for that, which is whatever. But then the guy came to order our food and my past few steaks that I've eaten have just been like not good. They've been too bloody. It was like, all the details of it. I'm giving the details. Okay. So and I was like, you know what? I'm going to kind of whisper to the waiter like, hey, I want a medium well steak. Like, you know, just are you ashamed of me? Because everybody made so much fun of him. So then I tell the waiter, the waiter like made sure he said it, right? He was like, medium well. And then Chris was like, yes. And then John Reed, no, no, hold on. No, hold on. That's not what happened. Because I usually get medium or medium rare, but the last few times it's been way too rare. So I was like, medium well. And then it might end up being what I actually want besides the point. So the guy goes to order for Jacob and Jacob says medium rare. But the guy said, the guy said, wait, did you say medium well? Then Jacob said, who in the world orders a medium well steak? And then the waiter pointed at me. And then Jacob just started flaming me. Like just roasting me for the next 30 minutes. Then John Reed jumped on. And I'm like, I always say, you know, you can roast me and I'll be, I'll banter back. After about an hour, I just like after an hour, I'm like, OK, let's grab a stop. You know, so this is all happening. And then Sadie makes some kind of. No, all I said was no, no, you make some kind of like sarcastic comment. And I jokingly said, oh, what are you turning on me now to? And then you said, well, you're kind of like walking into it. And then that comment made me snap. Because I was like, wait, you think perspective. That's what I sounded like. From my perspective, we kind of walk into it laughing because I said, you drink, you try to sip of their beer and you were joking. And you said, oh, this is disgusting. You you did it as a joke. You're like, you did a joke. And I look like like a baby sheep. Because to be honest, to be honest, I thought the whole night you were being so funny. Like, I really was. I was laughing with you and at you. And then we did the medium well thing. It was just funny. And then he was like and give me some ketchup, too. Like we were all having fun. I hear you walking into it. Oh, you're walking into it. My glass with the fork like. Well, I want a medium well state. Like that's my idea of walking into it. All that to say when I said you're walking into it, Christian got upset with me. This is where I was getting to with the short fuse. And I was like, are you kidding me? I said this in front of everybody. I was like, are you kidding me? Everyone else has been roasting you for an hour. And all I said was you're walking into it. And that was deeply hurtful to him. And then he said because you are my person. This is sad. I'm not crying. I'm fine. This is the I'm fine. I've actually been crying, laughing. And now my tears are like close to the. No, that's so. Because I was like, I'm sorry, I don't want. I didn't mean to upset you. I was surprised that that did upset you in no way did I think when I said you're walking into it, was it going to be offensive? I was actually thinking you were being funny all night. And I was laughing with you and everybody and how you were. We had actually even just talked about how like, well, no one can take it like Christian, like you were laughing at yourself. You were laughing at everybody. But to the point of this question, that's why people struggle with this is because there is a shorter fuse and it's not because it's like a fuse. It's that that person really means less to their words, hold a lot of value. So if that person does it, it's offensive. Everybody else can be laughing, but you're on my team. Like you're on my side. So when it feels like they're not, then it hurts. We talk about this. We talk about this a lot, especially with my family. It mainly is like whenever we're hanging out, we're playing games, whatever. So, I mean, she grew up with, I mean, she had her dad and then she had a younger brother. And so they, they were always like the tag team on Abby. It's so in a setting when we're all together and they're ganging up on her. I you jump in. I jump in. I mean, I think it's funny, but then that automatically plays into she values what I am saying to her. It hurts from you. It's one thing they say it's funny, but when you say it, it's absolutely. So like it's it's better for me to not say anything at all. And just like kind of smile at that. Because if she sees that like she knows that I think that's funny, but I'm never going to take that dig at her. Yeah. Because it's just it's just going to hurt her feelings. And I think that that is like so real for so many couples. So I'm glad we got to this point. I think too, in my like situation would be over similar doing so much for me. I feel like the thing that I get short with them, like, you know, all that I have on my plate, you know, so like, can you give me that grace? Like, I don't want you to like if you have one more thing, I'm like, but you know how much I have going on. But I need to have more capacity as well to be present in our relationship, despite all that I have gone on. So it goes like I got to take it from my side, but that's the thing that makes me more. I'm like, you know. But I think ultimately it comes down to, you know, each other the best. You love each other the most. So you're most sensitive to what that person says or does. Yeah. That's good. Those are good questions. That was a really good question. And I almost feel like that's maybe the best way to end it. There's two other questions. I think we can ask the other two. But I don't mean it doesn't matter. Ask him. Okay. Let's do it. You got it, Bobby. Last two questions. Last two. All right. All right. Make it count. Do women actually want advice when you've, when, when they vent, do women actually want advice or just someone to listen? I've actually been thinking about this lately. I am an external processor and I like to just talk to you about everything. We were just talking about this last night. Actually, we talked about this last night because in times past, she, I have always been a really good listener with you. That's something that you have valued. But I do want a little bit. I think as our marriage grows, you're, you, you always love somebody to talk to. I'm always just the listener. So like she's now looking for someone looking at for me to respond and validate what she's saying whenever I've always just been a listener. So that's something that we're, that I'm learning growing and growing into. But what I was going to say is I want validation from you as my authority. Like, right. Like I'm submitted to you. So I want, I want you to have something to do with like what I'm thinking and feeling. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I want to be in on it too. I love that. I think for me, because I do so much communication, I want you to speak into it. Like, and that's the thing when I think back to the first time I ever had a conversation with you on the phone, when I was like, whoa, I'm really interested in you like as a person. And also to date you is because you talked so much and like the best way. Like you had so much to share. You had so many things. Like if I brought up a topic, you had so much to say about it. You, you were like, did you read this book? Have you watched that sermon? Do you know Ben Stewart? Like you were like connecting all these dots and speaking into what I was saying. And that's when I knew I was like, you can lead me. Like I knew you could lead me and I knew that I wanted to learn from you in those ways and like connect with you in those ways. And I still feel that way. Like whenever I come to you and say something and then you have advice, it literally reminds me of like, well, I fell in love with you. How about because I think about that first phone call. So I do like when you speak into it. But listening, there's so much comfort in like being able to just sit there and know that you're listening and that you hear it and that you are hearing the part no one else is hearing. And then I love whenever you come back with some good advice. That's really sweet. Thank you. I think it's cool, like how certain, how, how marriages can evolve that way from just being the listener to actually adding value to the conversation by like keeping it going and being like, oh yeah. And then this, this and this. And you, yeah. That's also where we find like, okay, this is what the Lord's stirring in me. Oh wait. He's actually stirring that in me too, just in a kind of different way. Yep. And it just brings us closer and closer again. So I love that. Cool. So then the next question that I circled it, honestly, y'all kind of just answered it with the, with that last one. The question was when you're upset, what is the best way for me to respond? We kind of just talked about that with listening and sharing advice. So I kind of want to end with a fun one. Is that okay? Let's do it. Yeah. You're listening out there. Is that okay if I end with a fun one? Yeah. You're doing a great job. Okay. This is actually a really fun one. Do you actually want me to pick where we go out to eat or is this a trap? Yes. I actually want you to pick by the end of the day after all the decisions, I'm like, please pick where we're going to go. I don't care at all. I'm always like very decisive on where we go. That's a joke. I'm on the same page. I feel like I make all or a lot of the decisions during the day and I'm just ready to like. Because you have a plan. You make a plan for the day. Hey, we're going to start off. We're going to go get coffee. Then we're going to go drop off some packages. Then we're going to go to Walmart. We're going to go to Target, Old Navy, whatever. And then by the end of the day, you're pooped and you're just, hey, where are we going to eat? I don't really care what happens next. I feel that way. I'm always like anywhere. I don't care where and I'm not going to argue back. I'm just going to be like, yep, let's do it because it helps whenever you decide that. Are you inspired? I am inspired. I do want to say I will fight back if you say Taco Bell. I'm not really saying Taco Bell. There's a line. I get your something tonight. You'd be like, no, I wouldn't. 100% you would. No, I'm telling you. I really do love when you pick. This is making me think about. Let's go to Ross tonight. Great. And just like that, friends. And we're going to dinner. And just like that. No, OK, we're doing this again. Part two. Let us know the questions in the comments because we'll do roles reversed. What have you guys know? What have we always want to know about guys? I have a weird to ask. Yeah, we're just going to episode may take a while. It may be a bit of a longer episode. This next episode may go so viral. It's just like insanity. We may need a part two and three. We need a part two to the. I think you're going to ask so many questions. Part five. OK, we get it. There's a lot of questions on another. Well, I need help. To be continued. Everybody go out and be the loudest of the world. Thank you.