Tems: Embodying Intimacy In Love & Standing Firm In Faith

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins, but the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice, Ms. Owens, correct? I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Mancini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. this is Love Trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know Roald Dahl. He thought up Willy Wonka and the BFG. But did you know he was a spy? In the new podcast, The Secret World of Roald Dahl, I'll tell you that story and much, much more. What? You probably won't believe it either. Was this before he wrote his stories? It must have been. Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you, I was a spy. Listen to The Secret World of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lori Siegel, and on my new podcast, Mostly Human, I'll take you to some wild corners of the tech world. I'm about to go on a date with an AI companion at a real-world cafe right here in New York City. There's no playbook for what to do when an AI model hallucinates a story about you. Mostly Human is your playbook for how tech can work for you. Anyone can now be an entrepreneur. Anyone can build an app. And it's very empowering. Listen to Mostly Human on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. 10-10 shots, 5, City Hall building. How could this have happened in City Hall? Somebody tell me that. A shocking public murder. This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics. I screamed, get down, get down. Those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten and a mystery. That may or may not have been political. That may have been about sex. Listen to Rorschach, Murder at City Hall on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. so I've learned to be a cheerful giver but also know when to step back like I don't need to be the one that people say thank you to I can be the one saying thank you yeah oh yeah because you know sometimes people don't realize it's almost selfish like you said yeah I took care of everybody I took you know I did that well we didn't ask you to exactly Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. Okay, a girl from Legos who used to sing alone in her bedroom. That girl is now one of the most celebrated artists on the planet. She is Oscar-nominated and the only Nigerian artist, male or female, to win two Grammys. She is a singer, songwriter, producer, entrepreneur, and now co-owner of the San Diego Football Club. And then most recently, her EP wrote and produced almost entirely by herself. It's called Love is a Kingdom. Thames is on IRL today, guys. What's up, my love? What's good? Thank you so much for having me. This is very exciting. It's exciting for me, too. And a great intro. That was, I was like, whoa. It's funny because I haven't seen you in a little while. The last time you came to the radio show. And since then, a Grammy happened. Yes. A tour happened. An EP happened. Oh, yeah. Some things have happened. Wow, things have happened. Things have happened. It's been a whole... I don't think I'm the same person that you met then, for sure. Okay, tell me how. Oh, I just think I've just evolved. I think I just know more. I mean, so much experience. There's just so many things that have happened since I last saw you that I don't even remember. I don't remember. I think I watched that interview, finally, the full thing, maybe a year or so ago. Really? Yeah. And I was like, what was going on? Do you watch your interviews normally or not? No. It's not that I don't. I just, I'm just like, you know, it's not for me. It's for them. Yeah. You know, they watch it. I, I'm like trying not to. Are you critical of yourself? Sometimes. Yeah, I think so. Are you, are you sensitive? I'm, I'm, hmm. I am an artist, you know. So you're sensitive about your shit? I'm sensitive about my music. I'm, you know, anything else. I'm not too sensitive. I'm not sensitive about like, yeah, like, you know, I think the way I look facially, I can't do much about, you know, body wise, I can't do much about. So everything that I can't really do much about, I'm not too critical of myself. But I think music is like, I think a bit more of a sensitive topic for me and like the direction of like visuals and things like that. Where does that come from? Like, when did that start and where does that come from? I think, well, you know, when I was making music or when I started out writing stuff, it used to be a secret. I didn't tell anyone. So it used to be my thing. I was very possessive over it, you know. People couldn't hurt me because I had something that nobody knew about. And it was mine. And then, you know. I know we talked about this a little bit before. A little, yeah. But how did you know how to do it? I don't know. I loved it. Like, I fell in love with music. You're how old? I was... Celine Dion was the first person. Was it the Titanic song? It wasn't. It was the song that goes... Just all coming back to me now. You touch me like this. Oh. And when you hold me, it was like, oh my God. That was the song that did it for you? That was the song and then that's the way it is. And that's the way it is. That was like, oh, that was my, well, I was like maybe like seven when I first heard that song. But what was it though? Like, was it the, just sonically? Sonically, I think the melody. I felt like she the songs were very like they just touched my heart what were you going through what were you learning when you made this last project you don't have to say who well I mean it's a couple of people but I think I even till now I'm learning the true meaning of love and we're all trying to figure that out are you close? I am very I think I am close in understanding what love truly is please share please tell us first of all the reason why said love is a kingdom is because god is love and god is the kingdom that i'm talking about and the type of love that that everyone is truly looking for is not the love that is physical but one that is is spiritual is intimately is spiritually intimate it's more of like it's it's in your heart it's in your character it's in your personality you become love before you even meet someone and when and when you meet someone who has also embodied love then you know you recognize it instantly because you know where the source comes from which is good i love that have you gotten there have you had a love like that um well earthly I I don't know well you know what actually let me be we're being honest here right so right now I'm in this stage in my life where God is teaching me about um love through people but it's not through like romantic love necessarily it's the way certain people in my life show up for me it's how I see my flaws like I see that I messed up and nobody's saying that I messed up everybody's encouraging me everybody's still showing up for me um and to be honest I have experienced like a love where I thought was love and it was like it was more like when someone is trying to own you you know they think that they own you and love is not that's not that's not a god it's not obsession no it's not obsession and it's not possession we can't i can't own another human being we we can become love is when both of you become one person like you're not nobody we don't own each other we are each other like you know song by the way that's a whole song you just like what was so we are we're locked in you know and you know i feel like everyone has experience of that toxic love with someone that doesn't even know that they're toxic they don't even know that you know they say i love you i love you but they don't know that they don't even love me because you can't love someone if you don't love yourself. 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So whether you're detangling, redefining curls, or maintaining protective styles like locks, twists, or braids, it fits right into your routine. Explore viral bestsellers and products of healthier hair of all types from Bask and Lather. Go to baskandlatherco.com and use the code IRL for 20% off. That's 20% off at BaskandLatherCO.com. Code IRL. It's funny because we talk about love a lot on this show, on this podcast, and I find that the people that I know, people always talk about marriage and they're like, who do you know who's in a happy marriage? Or who do you know? Do marriage really work? I don't know anybody's happy. This is a conversation that happens a lot with girlfriends or friends, right? And whenever I really try to think about, okay, let me think about who I know who got it right, who's happy, who's in love, who loves their spouse, I do know a couple of people who are in those relationships. And usually there is spirituality inside of that relationship. Not usually. Every time. Anybody I know who, from the outside, because you don't really know what goes on inside people's house, right? But from the outside, anybody that I know that has gotten it right, there's some spirituality involved there. They pray together or there's something bigger than themselves. Yeah, there has to be. Yeah. Because what's the reason? Why would you love me if you don't have anyone you answer to? If you're not accountable to anyone, how could you choose to love me and keep loving me for the rest of our lives? if there's no accountability, if you are the God of your life, then why would you love me forever? You could just discard me anytime you want. Well, marriage is, I mean, obviously I have not been married. I'm not married. Would you one day? Is that something you hoped to do? I think, yeah, if I feel like that is the next step of my, like, I feel like marriage is something that makes you better as a human being. It should. It shouldn't be about whether you, oh, you're like so into this person or like you like this person so much. It's about compatibility and it's about whether this relationship makes you a better person. like if it evolves you like you are now on the next stage because marriage is a whole nother level yeah it's a whole it's supposed to bring out the hard times so how much of that goes into like when like even this ep like how how much of those feelings and those ideas about love play a part into you know i'm saying or yeah or is it actual things you're going through in real life or is it just oh it's definitely things that it's definitely inspired by the things i've gone through in real life yeah and what is it's just my journey i was just like most of the songs on there just like me documenting every stage like oh in my understanding of love you know um talking to a guy and you're not sure where he stands um and i have a song called i'm not sure where it's like if you want to see me come and find me like i'm not chasing you bro if you if you want me confusing if you want me you know where i'm at you know you have my number so let's not it's either you are here or you're not here there's no way there's no me do um and also i think at the end there's a song called is there a reason where really that song is about me speaking to god and and wondering why he chose me i i think that's those are the kind of things i contemplate on like okay surely i'm i'm here for a reason like like is what do you need of me like i you know sometimes i get scared that i'm not doing what i'm supposed to be doing really yeah sometimes i feel like i need to do more i need to show up more i need to help more people i need to physically like go and i don't know go through get get something do something you know um is that because of what you've built and how blessed you are yeah like is that yeah i think it's i think it's definitely because of just how much God has really blessed me. And, you know, I want to make sure that I am the person, you know, I am the daughter that he's called me to be. And, yeah, I think sometimes I worry, but I'm not meant to be worrying, you know? So that's just a human thing. I love that you know that. I know that. That's a human thing for sure. That's definitely not something I'm meant to be doing. but all in all I feel like everything is is working how it's supposed to be yeah maybe you're not meant to worry but I do think you and all of us probably are meant to ask the questions yeah you know what I mean I'm meant to like stop stop what we're doing and just look around and ask like am I in my purpose am I am I walk you know am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing am I missing something like yeah i don't know that that's worry so much but i get i get you asking those questions yeah yeah i try i try not to worry though because i feel like if you are the person like if you are being transformed into like a higher you a better you you would automatically be doing the things that you're meant to be doing it's not something that you would even need to think like okay let you know like you need to force it is what i mean the ideas will just they come they'll just come to you yeah how how often do you pray a lot oh yeah i mean i think sometimes i pray twice in a day and i feel like that's not enough i think what's more important is spending time in like the word I think so because that's what fuels my prayers. Sometimes if I haven't read or filled myself up with like word, I don't know how to pray. I mean, I know how to pray, but I don't know. I have nothing to like, unless it's like, you know, I'm on the road. There's so many things going on. I would always say like a little prayer, but I think to feel, you know, constantly filling yourself up with like knowledge of the word truth. I think that helps me understand where I'm at, like heart wise, like where my heart posture is. And, you know, I'm wondering if you've ever had. a word given to you or something come to you and completely stop you in your tracks and put you on a different course? I mean, the best I can say is when I quit my job. That was like a word that came to me and I was like clear. It was really clear. It was very urgent. I had already settled in the job and my auntie she was my boss at the time how'd she take this she's like she's my she's not like my auntie like my mom's sister she was more like a friend of the family like a she's more like my mom's sister's husband's cousin yeah got it you know so it wasn't like you know but still close um I remember I actually begged her for that job you know I actually was desperate I looked everywhere for a job you were on the phones right yeah I was uh in marketing marketing right yeah yeah digital marketing selling furniture um how do you sell furniture on the phone how does that even work oh I wasn't on the phone always I was actually going to places and pitching them like oh we can furnish your office for you yeah we you know this is our track record this is what we've been doing i go to hotels i go to uh different like companies how old are you at this time i was like 21 or 22 okay i think wow yeah that's not that long ago not that long that's crazy yeah so you're going and you're doing the furniture thing you beg for the job she gives you the job She gives me a chance. I'm terrible at the job. You didn't sell it? I did my best, but I don't think I was very personable. Knowing what I know now and seeing how I used to be, I definitely know that I was not. A salesperson? You don't give me salesperson vibes. I don't think so. And when I received that word, it was just after the New Year's. How does it come, though? Tell me. Honestly, like the first word, the first verse, I just, the same verse, sorry, the same word, which was take a leap of faith, just kept on coming to me. Like my mom was telling, my mom was like, oh, this is what I received for you this year. Like, I think you should really stand in your faith and actually do what God is telling you to do. And I was like, well, I don't know what he's telling. I don't know. What do you mean? And then what I was reading was about faith and how, like, you have to have faith first. You can't cease. In 2023, former Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice, Ms. Owens. I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. Sunlight's the greatest disinfectant. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Maricini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Maricopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know Roald Dahl, the writer who thought up Willy Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG. But did you know he was also a spy? Was this before he wrote his stories? It must have been. Our new podcast series, The Secret World of Roald Dahl, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary, controversial life. His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans What And he was really good at it You probably won believe it either Okay I don think that true I telling you The guy was a spy Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelt played poker with Harry Truman, and had a long affair with a congresswoman? And then he took his talents to Hollywood, where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock before writing a hit James Bond film. How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever? And what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids. The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to The Secret World of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're trying to keep up with everything happening on and off the court, we've got you covered on the podcast, Flagrant and Funny. You look at the top four number one seeds. What do you think UCLA is going to do? Break down that for me, my friend. Obviously, UConn is the overwhelming favorite in this tournament, but I'll be honest, I think people are kind of sleeping on Texas. Experts are suggesting that UCLA is the number one challenger to UConn and that right after that would be Texas. S&C is so deep and so thick in just about everything. It really is annoying. So it's UCLA, Texas, South Carolina, LSU. Only ones that could possibly upset UConn. On Flagrant and Funny, we're giving our unfiltered takes on the biggest moments, the conversations everyone's having. So whether your bracket is busted or you just want the latest on the tournament, we got you. Listen to Flagrant and Funny with Carrie Champion and Jamel Hill on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. 10-10 shots, 5, City Hall building. A silver .40 caliber handgun was recovered at the scene. From iHeart Podcasts and Best Case Studios. This is Rorschach. Murder at City Hall. How could this have happened at City Hall? Somebody tell me that. Jeffrey Hood did it. July 2003. Councilman James E. Davis arrives at New York City Hall with a guest. Both men are carrying concealed weapons. And in less than 30 minutes, both of them will be dead. Everybody in the chambers ducked. A shocking public murder. I scream, get down, get down. Those are shots. Those are shots. Get down. A charismatic politician. You know, he just bent the rules all the time. I still have a weapon and I could shoot you. And an outsider with a secret. He alleged he was a victim of blackmail. That may or may not have been political. That may have been about sex. Listen to Rorschach, Murder at City Hall on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. something and then have faith you have to have faith before you see anything that's how it works you first have right because if you see it you don't need faith it's there yeah if you see it you won't understand it actually so what faith does is you have faith and then you get understanding so i um apart from that the devotional that i had the the I can't remember. The day before work started again was take a leap of faith again. So in my... Are you seeing it or people are saying it to you? You're reading it? I was reading, I mean, my Bible, I was reading about faith at the time. My mom was speaking to me about faith. I think there was a sermon I watched that was about faith. The algorithm wasn't there at the time, so it wasn't any algorithm. It was God's algorithm. It was, you know, and then I just started, like, there was just like a voice in my head that was like, you need to leave this job right now. Like right now. You need to do it today. You need to do it by the end of today. You need to have done it. I'm always fascinated when people tell me these types of stories. No, no. It was like, okay, it felt like as if something was going to happen. Like if I didn't do it. Had you ever experienced that before or was that the first time? No, that was the first time. Was it a little scary? It was. But the thing is, before I experienced that, I had prayed that God would reveal what he wanted me to do. And so when I received that, I felt like I needed to be obedient and I needed to leave that job ASAP. So my auntie, I went to her house. Oof, how do you say this? Because she was still sending me missions. She was like, oh, I need you to do this. I need you to do that. She was already, you know, for the year. Yeah, because she didn't know that this word came to you. You know, usually I'm like, okay, yes, yes, yes, I will. Yes, I will. But this time I said, oh, I would like to speak to you. And she was like, you know, if you're not careful, you're going to be fired. And I said, actually, I would like to speak to you about this. So I went to her house. And she was like, you know, giving me a talk. Like, what are you doing? And, you know, I told you, you're not handling this thing well. I was trying to believe in you. I was trying to help you out and look at what you're doing. You're doing nonsense and you're not handling this well. So I was like, my leg was shaking. I said, she was like, do you want to get fired? And I was like, actually, yes, I need to leave this job. She was like, what? You need to what? I need to leave this job. she was like she looked like she wanted to meet me she was like you want to what you want to quit she was like do you who who do you think is going to hire you after this like you don't have any credentials like who do you think is going to want you i said actually i'm going to do music I'm going to. Were you crying? I was crying. Oh, my God. I was crying and I was shaking. And I was like, I'm going to do music. And I know that that sounds crazy. I know it sounds crazy. But this is what I truly believe that God has told me to do. And I'm so sorry I have to do it. I know you may be disappointed. Oh, my God. Oh, that day, my whole body, by the time I left there, I was leaving there shaking. I left it. That's the hardest thing I ever had to do. Oh, that was so hard. I went to my car and I was just crying. I was like, well, I guess this is it. I guess we're going to see what's going to happen from now. Why were you crying, though? Because you were scared? I was scared. Yeah, I was scared. I just, I wasn't very confrontational. Oh, so you felt bad probably too, letting her down in some way. I just was, I was very people pleasing. I didn't want to disappoint anybody. And that was one of the first times I felt like I was disappointing everyone. I wasn't going to have a job. I wasn't going to have money to take care of my mom. I wasn't going to have anything, you know, I was letting down everyone in my life. You know, their perception of me, of what they thought was the best life for me. you know and I didn't even have the answers I didn't even know what to do are you are you doing this because you've you had such a strong desire to do music or is it strictly you're doing this because of the word that you received it was because of the word wow because I was okay not releasing me like I was okay no I was enjoying my own music my cousins would be like yo send me that voice notes that you because I'll send my cousins like voice notes like just one little song like a song and she'll be like why why aren't you posting this online i'm like oh no i don't want people to i don't you know my cousin be like do you have any new voice notes for me she'll be the only one enjoying that should be your next ep is all the voice notes yeah and i was content with that like you know my dream was like you know what maybe i'll just make this a friday night thing i'll find a bar and i'll have one of those friday shows that people come and listen to live music. That was my idea of making money. You see how funny it sounds now. Like, are you insane? No, I mean, I get it. Yeah. I get it. Like, I was... But do you ever... Are you ever in awe of how that moment... Mm-hmm. Like, just... Because I'm sure people get words sometimes. Mm-hmm. And out of fear or out of whatever. just don't pull the trigger or whatever that's probably a bad term but they don't push the button or they're not diligent about listening to that voice are you ever in awe of that moment even yourself that you were able to do that honestly sometimes I just thank god that I couldn't ignore it for me it was especially what I was learning about was actually um Abraham right and basically he made a covenant with God and for me at the time it was like if I say I really believe like I'm not just performing I'm not just I'm just I'm not just making sure that I don't you know I don't go to hell or something If I really, like I'm saying, I really want to know you, I really want to walk on this journey with you, then I have to have faith. And I have to say God's part is if you believe, then I will do. So for me to show that I believe, he instructs and the proof of your belief is your obedience. So for me, I was like, I have to be a woman of my word. I can't go back now. you know and I was as I was quitting my job I was like well god you see I'm shaking all over I don't know what's going to happen but I did what you said I did what you said if I perish I perish if I if I find myself under the bridge that's going to be the best under the bridge life I would ever have because you said he's you know whatever life he has in store for you is going to be better than your imagination. And has it been? It's been beyond my imagination. You know, when you read certain things, it's like, could this possibly be true? Or what it is, is I allowed myself to actually truly believe, like just trust, because I had never seen any other thing. All my life I'd been relying on my own knowledge. So maybe I should just try this for a second. and you know it wasn't easy at first but I was like you know what I'll just take it step by step day by day you know I'm not gonna chase anything I'm gonna wait in my mind I was like you said I don't need to do the work like I don't need to do too much I just need to believe right okay I'm just gonna believe you know and I'll do whatever I receive how much do you attribute the career that you've had to that moment oh oh i think every every passing day that like i wouldn't be terms if i didn't if i chose not to um answer that voice i would still be i might even be unemployed because things are hard now yes i clearly couldn't sell no furniture i couldn't i would definitely have been fired i don't i might be like a sales i might be like a cashier or like a registered person i don't know there's nothing wrong with that by the way if if that's you know but that wouldn't have been that wasn't that was not the highest i could have gone and i don't think i would have reached i mean maybe i would I don't know. You never know. We'll never know. We're never going to know. We're never going to know. We're never going to know. How good are you now? So now, okay, so that happens. And then time passes clearly before you, this thing really, I mean, opens up. Or was it? How long from that moment were you like? 2018, January, I quit my job. January like 2nd or 4th. I can't remember. but that first week I quit my job then after that from January March sorry January February March April I was kind of living off handouts my aunt I asked oh do you have any you know just doing my best to you know live my mom had to move out of state um because I'm quit my job but I spoke Was she upset with you? No, she was actually she was like this is something that I know that you have to do so don't worry about me I want you to actually like go chase your dreams and go chase this thing that you really feel strongly about Wow So she was very supportive It was like the rest of my family that was like how can she She's out of her mind She's crazy um by may my cousin convinced me to finally put out a video on on instagram of me singing with my face just doing that that was nerve-wracking for me because i used to put videos out but without my face and this meant like i was going to be seen so the first time i did that that's when i started getting people um dming me oh hey do you want to work do you want to come to this studio i'll go to the studio i'll meet different people um and then at some point i decided you know what now i understand a bit more about this music thing let me try and release a song and that song was called Mr. Rebel. And that song came out August of the same year, 2018. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. He works fast when he works, right? There's no, he literally, it's actually us that makes it slow. Because we don't listen? Is that what you think? Yeah. I think you have to be the kind of person that can handle the thing that he wants to give you. And if you're someone that isn't true to your word how can he trust you with the whole load of things when you can't even trust yourself with a little so how do you sort that out through your head though sometimes do you and how do i ask this like you know sometimes how do you know because sometimes we have a lot of voices in our head a lot of things the world our own thoughts yeah things that we ingest from whatever situations we're in, how do you know which is the right voice? Does that make sense? Yeah. Because sometimes, man, our own wants even could sometimes get in the way. Where you're like, right, God? That's what I should be doing. You know, sometimes there's just so many voices. So how do you quiet the noises to hear the one noise you're supposed to hear? Yeah. I think for me personally, what I've discovered is that a lot of the voices that people hear are not theirs. They're opinions that they've read or they've heard from other people. Like, especially now that we're in the social media, you know, AI and social and technology. And when you're online a lot, you don't realize that you're reading a lot of the comments in your mind. You're reading a lot of the opinions of other people in your mind, even though it was someone else that typed it, you are reading it in your mind. If someone was spewing negative comments, you're still the one reading it. So your body is not going to think that it was somebody else. It's you that you're still feeding yourself that. So when you go to sleep, all the things that you've read, that you fed yourself, that's what's in your mind. Those are the things that your mind uses as references for what to think about things that happen to you. That's so good. That's where the narrative of how you see life is drawn is from the things you read is from the things you allow yourself to watch the things you allow yourself to hear from your eyes, your ears, what you feed yourself, what you feed yourself. And so if, if you're reading so many people's opinions and you're always online and you're always watching comments watching people talk right you won't be able to hear the voice of god or even your own voice because your voice should align with the voice of god right like it should only be good it should only be good things right because that's god only wants you to win there's no there's no there's no there's no hate actually right so if you're thinking hateful things or like if you're not believing in yourself and you think yeah i will never make it or i'm not good enough that can't be you that can't be your voice you ingested that from somewhere from somewhere it's something you believe like it's something you believe and you've adopted it as yours but you can also let it go but you need to it's about awareness you You know, so I feel for me, once I realize that I stop reading opinions, sometimes like if I'm scrolling and I see like someone starts to speak and I already know they're about to start saying so I scroll. You want to get away from it fast, right? I don't want to hear. I can't hear too many crazy things. Yeah. You know, I try not to be online too much because anything can pop out at you and you can't stop it. and you're reading all these things in your mind. So if someone is angry at someone else, you're reading the anger into yourself. Yes, that's so good. You're reading the anger, you're reading the hate, you're reading the negativity. And then how do you read all of that and then go and pray? Or then go and tell yourself, yes, I'm a winner today, but you've been reading hate all day. Right. And in your mind, it's fun, it's banter. Yeah. But the banter is all your body knows. It's all your mind knows. It's so good, Tams. I think of you in 2018 sitting in that, hearing that message that it was time for you to do that. Had you spent the past month reading negative shit or hanging out with negative people all month? I don't know that you would have had that type of clarity to hear that type of word. Yeah, I was very isolated. I wasn't around in love with my friends. the friends I had at the time, I started like distancing myself because I wanted to find out more, you know, and I feel like that period God really like was calling on me to just like separate myself and understand like who I'm actually dealing with because we are living in life. This is some kind of reality. So what is this reality? And that for me, that was like, I need to know what's going on. Yeah. And I think, yeah, if this was then, it would have been hard. Yeah, I wonder, because then I wonder, like, when you, so now you become famous. Yes. That I had to navigate. I was going to say, but somebody who likes, who's quiet and in tune to this voice and tries to block out all other voices, you put, you jump in the pool. Oh. Oh. how does the how did yo how do you navigate through that oh it was tough it was so tough even me having a conversation like this is tough for you no it's not tough anymore i've shed a lot of skin you know coming getting to this point at the time i was very hostile because i thought why is everybody now suddenly like liking me and why are people wanting to talk to me you didn't want to talk to me before why do you want to talk to me now you know and at some point I thought at some point the world would just move on so I was kind of waiting for that to happen I was like okay this is how it usually goes they first like you then they hate you so let me wait till they hate me so I can continue my secret life I was like let me wait for this to pass and then months went by and it just kept on getting worse i'm like wait what's going on you know god please i don't want to be in the spotlight i'll go to the airport and people like recognize me and they'll be your terms i'll be like no i'm not like oh are you terms you look like her i'll be like no like people say that i don't know see somebody could misinterpretate to interpret that think you're not grateful for it but i understand yeah you're afraid of it i'm so i was so afraid yeah i was just like why everyone you know someone meet me and they'll be like they'll be like shaking and i'm like it's just me though why are you shaking like it's just me i'm just i'm just timmy i'm just the normal person hey stop that you know stop being weird stop it you know people on my team new people that will come on my team you know they'll they'll be asking me questions so are you excited do you wanna are you happy to be here I'll be like why are you asking me that like I would come off very like standoffish because I'm like what why are you here though yeah like why is everybody suddenly here I just want to be alone I just want to make music and sing I just want to be make music and I just I didn't handle it in 2023 former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd, found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice, Ms. Owens, correct? I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. Sunlight's the greatest disinfectant. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Marancini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Americopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know Roald Dahl, the writer who thought up Willy Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG. But did you know he was also a spy Was this before he wrote his stories It must have been Our new podcast series The Secret World of Roald Dahl is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary controversial life His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans. What? And he was really good at it. You probably won't believe it either. Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you, the guy was a spy. Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelt's, played poker with Harry Truman, and had a long affair with a congresswoman? And then he took his talents to Hollywood, where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock before writing a hit James Bond film. How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever? And what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids? The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to The Secret World of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Laurie Siegel, a longtime tech journalist. and consider my new podcast, Mostly Human, your bridge to the future. Anyone can now be an entrepreneur. Anyone can build an app. And it's very empowering. Each week, I'll speak to the people building that future. And we're going to break down what all of this innovation actually means for you. What I come to realize is that when people think that they're dating this AI companion, they're actually dating the companies that create this. We're experiencing one of the greatest tech accelerations in human history. And let's be honest, that can be messy. There's no playbook for what to do when an AI model hallucinates a story about you. But it's my belief that we should all benefit from this moment. Mostly Human will show you how. My goal is to give you the playbook so you can benefit. The reason I say agency is because if we can give power back to people, then I think that's probably the best thing we can do for your mental health. Listen to Mostly Human on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. If you're trying to keep up with everything happening on and off the court, we've got you covered on the podcast, Flagrant and Funny. You look at the top four number one seeds. What do you think UCLA is going to do? Break down that for me, my friend. Obviously, UConn is the overwhelming favorite in this tournament. But I'll be honest, I think people are kind of sleeping on Texas. Experts are suggesting that UCLA is the number one challenger to UConn and that right after that would be Texas. S&C is so deep and so thick in just about everything. It really is annoying. So it's UCLA, Texas, South Carolina, LSU. Only ones that could possibly upset UConn. On Flagrant and Funny, we're giving our unfiltered takes on the biggest moments, the conversations everyone's having. So whether your bracket is busted or you just want the latest on the tournament, we got you. Listen to Flagrant and Funny with Keri Champion and Jamel Hill on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Do you have any regrets about that? You know what it is? I feel like I had been in my mind rejected so much that when I found people that finally accepted me because I'm used I was so used to rejecting myself. I couldn't accept their love. I couldn't accept that they their acceptance. I rejected myself before anybody even. So I was waiting for the rejection. I was expecting it. That was my normal daily life. Like that was my programming, you know, and I had to unlearn that. Oh, actually, I've never been rejected. I've always been accepted. Where did this come from? Or because one person or a few people said something when you were a child. I don't know, you know, fear, fear. But it's from that is when you experience something that feels like rejection in like your young days. that's where you you get this conclusion that you are not uh worthy or worthy or you know they say that fear stops a lot of people from living their full you know potential in life that alone but that's why i always encourage people to become aware like get get curious about this fear that you have like go deep how have you how have you learned so much have you done like therapy have you done like is it just prayer is it how have you learned so much about understanding how you work um it's a combination of things i think honestly a lot of the things i've learned have been revealed to me by god i'm gonna first say that Secondly, I didn't like the way I was. Like, you know, I just felt like something was always off. I was always making people angry, you know, and I didn't understand why I was the way I was. Sometimes I want to talk to someone and nothing comes out of my mouth. You know, I'll just be in the corner. You know, when I was in school, I'll like cover my head and eat with, you know, I would just be and I'm oh and you were probably misunderstood you know and I was just like I want to I don't want to be this way so why am I this way why can't I in my mind I'm like Timmy move and I won't move you know or Timmy do something and I won't say something say something nothing you know and I and that's when I realized like okay I'm actually so flawed and I need help. And I can't help myself, clearly, because I read all the books. I'll say, okay, they'll say, oh, write this to yourself 10 times in the morning. Affirmation. And I would, and it would work for the first two days. But then your natural programming, your human programming kicks in. So how can I be changed? That was my goal. and I think that's what actually led me to God because I realized like I can't do it myself. I need someone greater than me and that was like my only solution. Help me. Help me. Help me because I don't know what's happening. So what have you learned about yourself? Because you seem, I don't know, you still are like reserved and careful but you seem seem more like confident in your skin and where you are in the yeah like what have you learned about yourself that has shifted that um i think what what's happening now is like i'm walking more in my identity like i think what has changed is what i believed who i believed i was you know before I just believed I was a nobody you know so even when I became someone in my mind I was a nobody so I shouldn't be somebody right you didn't deserve this I didn't deserve anything but now it's not even about whether I deserve it or not it's what has been allocated to me oh you know it's it is it is what has been given to me whether i like it or not and and what i'm learning is that i'm here for not myself but to be a light to be an example to be someone that people can say well if she did it i can too you know there's so many labels i can say that I had you know I wasn't I wasn't um you know autism is going around these days and everybody is saying they're autistic but I've decided actually not to say that and just be Timmy like just be a child of God that is deciding to be a light in the world you know no matter how much people throw at me. I have, I'm not going off my own strength. I think that's what it is. So I don't feel like I can be taken down, not because of my strength, but because of the strength I know that I have behind me. You know, I have like, it's not, it's not me that will fight for myself. It's, I don't need to fight actually. You know, I can just be, I can just be, and that's what you're supposed to be. Yeah. You know, everything in the world works that way it's it's you know it's only human beings that are like we're not being you know trying to control everything yeah yeah it's so hurt like the world is so hurt and that's why like it's like you know like when you come out you you're like let go when you you have your fist like this your whole life it's like what's the concept of actually releasing your fist You can't think of it. It's like a foreign concept. So letting go is very hard. Right? So I understand because that was really hard for me. So you just let go? I just let go. I'm still letting go. It's like a step-by-step process. I'm not all the way there. This is not my final form at all. Really? Can you imagine your final form? I can't even imagine what it is. You have to just be in it and wait, right? Yeah, I'm still being worked on. Yeah. I'm definitely not perfect. But you have had, of course, the evolution continues, right? But you have had big victory moments, even in our intro, some of the accolades. I mean, even just this Grammy, right? When you're up there and you're accepting a Grammy, what does that feel like to you? Can you even imagine that moment? How much up to that point? Does it feel, you know what I mean? How much does those type of moments mean to you? It just, I think for me, solidifies, like it just further confirms everything that I've been experiencing. It's like I'm on some great big adventure. And especially in those moments, I really feel like, yeah, I couldn't have thought about this, even if I tried. This was not me. This was not my vision. Me that I wanted to sing at the bar. That was the big goal. If somebody told me, I'm going to give you anything you want right now, I would have told you, yeah, I want to do the Friday Night Live. That was going to be my dream. That was your vision for yourself. Yes. Yeah. So even when I was on that stage, I'm like, this was not, I know that that was not me. because I wrote what my dreams were and it was nothing like this. At all. They say that, man. So I think that's what comes to me. I know that this is definitely God. I couldn't have thought of this if I tried. Does it make you happier that you're in this space and feel disconnected? It does make me, it gives me hope. I think that's what the difference between me now and me 10 years ago. There was no hope in my mind. I didn't have hope. Really? I didn't. I didn't. I thought like I wasn't expecting much from life. I was not. I wasn't someone that people like cared that much about. You know, I was used to people not caring. I was okay with it, though. I wasn't feeling like sad or anything. I was just like, Oh, nobody cares. Cool. That's great. I could do whatever I want in my, in my little corner. you know but i think now i have so much hope not for me but for the world for people for life there's so much to look forward to even in the chaos even in the in the craziness that's going on there's still hope you know that's good to hear because it is dark out here it's very dark Yeah. I put myself on a limit of how much news. I watch only this amount of news, and then I have to stop. You have to. Because I will be in just a dark place every day that doesn't serve me, that doesn't serve anybody in my life, or doesn't help me move around the world. I like to be informed, but I have to be almost on a diet because there's so much darkness in the world. How do you navigate through that? How do you, I guess, pray, right? Yeah, no, I do the same thing. And put hope, I guess. no like for me as well i actually don't watch too much news either i'm not a news person because news is meant to be negative like hardly do they report on anything positive like in today in the positive news the good news is the good news is that this little boy was saved and you know there's nothing like that um so somebody should really do it they really need to have a positive news channel yeah i would watch that i would watch that too that would be great um but yeah i think i thought i don't after i use my phone i i keep it i throw it in many different places i try and live life in reality so i try not to be online too much especially if i'm not actively doing anything like i'm not posting anything i'm not like there's no reason I'm really online after a few scrolls I become so aware of myself like what are you doing you're scrolling why it's so easy though it's so easy to get sucked into it you you get it's like a vac it's like literally no it's meant to do that yes it's this and that's why it's scary yeah that's why it's so scary and that's why you can't let them get you like for me sometimes like it's like because it's the damage of what it does to you is so ingrained in me when i find myself scrolling i'm like yeah they're getting to you they're getting to you you need i switch off my i don't even go out of the app i switch off my phone and i throw it i make sure i throw it behind the couch i throw it i just look for the farthest place and i throw my phone is all cracked up because i keep throwing oh it's a real thing no it's real i really thought i'm like i believe you once i want if i'm scrolling and i catch myself doing that i switch it off and i throw it away because you feel it controlling you right yeah i can feel it the things and i have a phone that has no social media it's just for communication that's smart so even if i've thrown that phone away people can still reach me on the non-social media phone. Yeah. Hey guys, you ever sign up for a phone plan thinking, wow, what a great price. And then a few months later, it's like, surprise, your bill is higher. We hate that. With Boost Mobile, you pay $25 a month forever. That's unlimited talk, text, and data starting at just $25 a month. There's no price hikes, there's no contract, and this is forever. Plus, Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network. They invested billions building 5G towers across the country. So, what you need to do is visit boostmobile.com or head to your local Boost store today and get unlimited talk, text, and data for $25 a month forever. 5G speeds not available in all areas. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. All right, so we have a segment. It's an IRL voice note where somebody leaves a note. Usually it's a fan or somebody who listens to the pod. Okay. You're going to be here. So this is from Cynthia. Let's see. Hi, Tims. What's going on? My Nigerian queen. My name is Cynthia. OK, OK. I'm a journalist with Amplify Africa. I want to speak to you about your heart. I watched an interview with Don Juan where he talked about a younger you. He talked about a younger Tims that will come to the studio. And even at the time when you didn't really have much, you still chose to buy little things for the people in the studio and you still chose to give so you have a giver's heart I want to talk to you about that what where do those characteristics come from is it a faith-based thing is it your love language please share what a sweet question oh what a sweet question that is really sweet I've never thought about that before You don't remember that? I mean, I remember now, but it's not something that I would have thought of at all. Wow. Are you a giver by nature? I am a giver. I'm actually a chronic giver. I actually have to stop myself from giving. I'm the kind of person that like... You'll give it all away? I'll give it all away. Yeah. I would, you know, when I'm out with my friends, I would literally be fighting with them to pay, you know, and I shouldn't be doing that because they are their own people. And I had to think, you know what, this is not helping anyone. Stop trying to be the one to give, to pay. And no. How's that going for you? It's actually, you know, it's making my relationships a little bit better. Really? It is. Because you know what happens when you are too much of a giver? It becomes like your identity subconsciously. So when you don't give, you feel weird. You don't know how to receive anymore when you give too much. And it makes you a bit self-centered. Well, it makes me a bit self-centered. because when I don't give and I feel weird, then I feel like whatever happens in the room was because of me or because I didn't do something. And sometimes when I overgive, then the other person feels weird because they want to give. And imagine you wanting to give someone that is never accepting what you want to give. It puts a strain. It puts a distance between you and that person. Because you're saying, I want to give you, but don't give me. This is not an exchange. This is, I'm imposing my own gifts on you. Just take. I don't want, you know, it's like, love is a mutual thing. It's like, we are one. You know, we can't be one if it's just coming from one side. That's so interesting. I've never heard it put that way, but that does make sense. And also, if you're the only giver, then how can you find real, genuine relationships? Because that attracts people who are takers. And you don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of takers your whole life. That's a nightmare, actually. That's draining, exhausting. And I think I've learned the hard way because I definitely had a lot of takers in my life. You did. But, um... She said, uh-huh. Uh-huh. You just went somewhere. But, yeah, I think... So I've learned to be a cheerful giver, but also know when to step back. Like, I don't need to be the one that people say thank you to. I can be the one saying thank you. Oh, yeah, because, you know, sometimes people don't realize it's almost selfish, like you said. Because you want to, like, I took care of everyone. I took, you know, I did that. Well, we didn't ask you to. Exactly. We just want to be on the same. That's funny because I have that. I have friends that do better than me in life and friends who I always like to pay. And sometimes I can see that becoming a thing. When you're all out and you're all equal and you're all friends. But then the one person wants to always be the. Show out, you know. You're like, it does put a separation. yeah it's interesting it does it's very subtle yeah but it's so that's a hard thing you know and that's you have to allow your heart to be molded and giving is one of those things that you have to like have some discipline in as a giver that's a giver you'll give it all away i would i would like when anybody around me is distressed i'm like okay what are we doing what do we need to do cancel everything right now i'm not going anywhere I'm going to stay here we're going to what one million let's guess it let's get who stops you do you have somebody in your team or your family yes people stop you my managers my team they're like nope we're not doing it and I'm like no we are they're like nope get in the car we're not doing it not get in the car and I'm like okay and then I'm like fair enough it would have been nice to give that person but you know especially my Both my managers, they're very strong-headed. I'm strong-headed, but they can be also strong-headed. So we'll all do who is going to back down. And it's usually me because I'm the one spending all the money. In 2023, former Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in so-and-so, correct? I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what their tax dollars were being used for. Sunlight's the greatest disinfectant. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Maranchini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news out of Maricopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know Roald Dahl, the writer who thought up Willy Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG. But did you know he was also a spy? Was this before he wrote his stories? It must have been. Our new podcast series, The Secret World of Roald Dahl, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary, controversial life. His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans. What? And he was really good at it. You probably won't believe it either. Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you, the guy was a spy. Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelt's? Played poker with Harry Truman and had a long affair with a congresswoman. And then he took his talents to Hollywood where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock before writing a hit James Bond film. How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever? And what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids? The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote Listen to The Secret World of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts If you trying to keep up with everything happening on and off the court we got you covered on the podcast Flagrant and Funny. You look at the top four number one seeds. What do you think UCLA is going to do? Break down that for me, my friend. Obviously, UConn is the overwhelming favorite in this tournament, but I'll be honest, I think people are kind of sleeping on Texas. Experts are suggesting that UCLA is the number one challenger to UConn and that right after that would be Texas. S&C is so deep and so thick in just about everything. It really is annoying. So it's UCLA, Texas, South Carolina, LSU. Only ones that could possibly upset UConn. On Flagrant and Funny, we're giving our unfiltered takes on the biggest moments, the conversations everyone's having. So whether your bracket is busted or you just want the latest on the tournament, we got you. Listen to Flagrant and Funny with Carrie Champion and Jamel Hill on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. 10-10 shots fired in City Hall building. A silver .40 caliber handgun was recovered at the scene. From iHeart Podcasts and Best Case Studios, this is Rorschach, Murder at City Hall. How could this have happened at City Hall? Somebody tell me that. Jeffrey Hood did it. July 2003. Councilman James E. Davis arrives at New York City Hall with a guest. Both men are carrying concealed weapons. And in less than 30 minutes, both of them will be dead. Everybody in the chambers ducked. A shocking public murder. I scream, get down, get down. Those are shots. Those are shots. Get down. A charismatic politician. You know, he just bent the rules all the time. I still have a weapon. And I could shoot you. And an outsider with a secret. He alleged he was a victim of lockdown. That may or may not have been political. That may have been about sex. Listen to Rorschach, Murder at City Hall, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Answered a question, didn't we? but the answer was so much better. We kind of answered it. Kind of. Because it comes from, that was her question, where does that giving spirit come from? What is that rooted in? People-pleasing? Self-worth? Because it doesn't sound like that's a godly thing. No. I think, I mean, I think who I am is definitely God. Who I truly am is God. But I think... I think it's something that's ingrained in me. I just know that when I was younger, I used to see, like in Nigeria, there's just a lot of suffering. And I used to be really pained that I couldn't do anything. And I didn't like people crying around me. I didn't like people being hurt. I didn't like people looking sad. you know so i'll just be sad just because someone else is sad and i don't even know them they don't even know me they don't even know that i'm sad oh you're an empath i'm just i'm crying and they don't even know and i yeah did you see that a lot of that as a kid yeah i did i did you know my mom is very much she's very humanitarian like she used to adopt like children for like some months for some weeks she just bring like a kid home and we'll take care of the kid some of them have like my mom's a doctor so some of them had like medical conditions they're trying to heal from you know and um just seeing things like that and on the road people that don't have just it's just like why is this happening so I think for me I just always wanted to ease everybody's pain like why are you crying don't cry anymore look everything is still great look I don't have much but here this should make you just count you know okay please don't be sad anymore please I don't want to cry you can't take it that's very sweet so maybe you are going to heal the world that's probably why you pray pray to to make sure you're always asking yourself are you doing enough enough yeah i always feel like i can do more but maybe it is i'm not ready like like um who i am right now is still being worked on to get to that level because you have to be able to handle whatever it is and you also may be doing things that you're not even aware of what you're doing. Yeah. Because even today's conversation, I need my bowl. Even today's conversation, the way that affects someone else, you don't even know how helpful that could be in somebody's life. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's so true. Hey, guys, support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want and I could really make a difference? Well, you are not alone. And this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge, the skills and everything you need to build the future that you want. And you can make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to waldenu.edu and take that first step. Walden University set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shiv. This is our IRL Bowl in real life. Take out a couple of questions. Let's see what's going on in Thames' real life. Okay. If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be? That is so deep still. I can tell you what I think your three are. Yes, please. Godly. Yes. Something to do with your relationship with God. Empathetic. Right. and hopeful. Yes. Huh? You feel seen? I feel seen. I don't know if I... I don't want to answer your question for you. If you have other three words, you can do it. Or you can pick another bowl, a question from the bowl. You've said it all. All right. All right, get another one. Get another one. And then I have some IRLs here, too. She's a writer. I thought she was going to go. She's going to go to the park. Oh yeah, you are a writer. You know, I am a writer. But you know, that one, that one is a whole, three words is a quite small. You need a few. I need a few. This one says, I'm at my best when. I'm at my best when I let go. I let go. body dance you did good okay if you could master a skill instantly what would it be who the gift of master a skill it could is it like a whatever you could want to ride a motorcycle i don't know or uh that would be so cool really what to write to be like a master i've always wanted to be one of those bike riders you see what i mean my dreams were crazy my dreams were so far off god makes better dreams for you than you make for yourself he does you would have been performing on fridays on your motorcycle literally i would i actually would i always wanted i used to admire like bike bike riders like what like really like like what like just the really cool bikes that like just in movies you know take the helmets off and oh it's a girl yeah you know and i'm that yeah i'm tough you know badass on the bike. I think the skill, the ability probably to persuade. You want to rule the world. I think that would be the best gift because you could persuade anyone to do anything. But I wouldn't, I want to rule the world, obviously. What would be the first matter of business as a professional persuader? I'll call a meeting of all the world leaders. We're going to sit in the room. And by the time we come out of the room, yeah. Peace. Peace, yeah. Well, yeah. What? Love, peace and love. You put them all in check? Well, the thing is, I'll have the gift of persuasion. So they will all be persuaded. I wouldn't even need to put them in check. They would just be so convinced that they didn't know what they were doing before. They would just walk out of the room like, wow, everything she said made sense. What have we been doing, guys? You really do want to heal the world. It is your nature to really want to heal the world. I mean, like, that's the first thing that is, like, the most important. Like, how can you have, I can't, we can't, we don't know what's going to happen. So how can we truly have peace when the whole world is at war? You know? Yeah. So I think that's the first solution. Let's address this first. Then I can enjoy my life on a yacht somewhere. As you should. As you should. You know. What is your guilty pleasure in real life? Guilty pleasure? Oh, yeah, I am a shopaholic. I think, well, I'm not a shopaholic. I experience symptoms. of being a shopaholic, okay? I am recovering. You get it, I get it. Okay, I go into a store. They could be selling, I don't know, rat poison. And I would buy at least different types of rat poison, even when I don't have rats. You want to buy it. I'm buying, I go into a store, and I'm doing something in that store. You show serious signs of shopaholic. I do. I don't know why I do such things. I really don't. So now that I'm aware, before I go anywhere, I'm like, once I step in here, I know I'm buying something. So do I really want to step in here? Oh, my God. I like this question for you, Temps. In real life, what are you most proud of about yourself? Hmm. In real life, I am really proud that I've stood on business in certain aspects of my life. Like I said, no, and I never went back to certain things, vices, people. I just said no and I stood on that. I'm not an addict to anything. I'm not in any toxic situations. I know when something isn't for me and I say no and that's it. Wow. Yeah. That is to be proud of. I wasn't always like that. I was going to say, even in love, are you that? Well, to be fair, I am like that, but in a forgiving way. So I don't cut off out of anger or out of hurt or anything. It's just out of understanding that the best thing for you right now is to not have me in your life, actually. You don't need to eat. I'm not what you need. You know, no pun intended. That's pretty good. I see what you did there. no pun intended I love that in that song that you say that though because it's not you know people break up relationships end and usually a lot of the songs it's somebody left me or you did something so bad to me you're like I'm like what you need is something different you're not here yet you know you're not here yet and that's okay I'm actually not like you're not we're not you know so for me when i when i do cut people off it's not like without explanation as well it's like it's like i don't i don't talk too much but i just like so this is what's going to happen now okay and i want you to know that you are you can do so much better and i believe in you and I have faith in you. Oh, this is killing them. Okay. Yes. I have faith and I know that I'm going to see you successful in the future. And I am really happy when they're successful. I don't really actually... This is how you break up with people? Yeah. Well, the thing is, by then, it's not an emotional thing. I'm not emotional. I don't feel hurt. I've already, like... Cried and... Yeah, I've already done everything I need to do. Because for me, once someone is presenting symptoms, right, I have to diagnose it. You know what I'm saying? I have to give you a diagnosis like, okay, this is what this person is experiencing. Out of love, what does this person need right now? What does this person have to work with? And what can I do to help this person? and sometimes that means i'm not in your life because i also have to think about myself and if i'm not good how can i how can i help you if you're making if you're triggering me or if if we're not meeting eye to eye then what could i possibly do for you like even if i wanted to help you i really can't actually because you are not in the states where you can't even let me help you this is the most grown up way to break up with somebody I've ever heard of or to cut somebody off it is the most mature adult way that I've ever heard are you really like this in every are you that non-emotional about it? I mean the thing is yes I am non-emotional about it I think obviously I do have emotions and what I do is I sort through my emotions I get all the information I need like this is how I feel this is the reality separate from how I feel this is the fruits that this person is producing this is everything this person touches looks like this and everything that I touch looks like this this is what this person has to offer realistically this is what I have to offer clearly we are not compatible so now emotion is gone because it's not even about whether i want you or there's it's not about wanting you are not for me like it's all an illusion the feeling of wanting illusion because you can wake up tomorrow and you don't want that person anymore that's not love so love is actually seen beyond your wants and thinking about what does this person need right now as a human being like to be better as a human what does this person actually need and whatever that thing is i don't have the answers but i know that i need to get away from you as soon as possible. So I'm going to do this nicely because you're human. I guess you're working through some things. I don't judge you. I don't blame you. But goodbye. Wow. Women struggle with that, you know. Separating emotion and practicality and just truth. You know what I mean? they struggle with that this have you always been there's like a gift i guess no no i've not i also struggle with that i'm very i used to be so emotional like incredibly but it's it's the awareness thing i think from me wanting to be so aware of myself like i want to know like i've been researching and researching like well why do we feel this way why do we do that i'm asked so many all the questions you can think of, I've gone to find the answers. So I think in that journey is when I realized, oh, this thing I feel, it felt like the end of the world, but it really wasn't the end of the world. So that means that this thing is an illusion, you know? And you figured it out and you trust the answer. You know, so I'm like, okay, so how do I come out of this when I feel it? Let's start researching, you know, and that's how I worked my way up. You know what's so exciting about you is that because you're in such a state of learning all the time, to watch your progression. I can't wait to sit with you, God willing, in two years or three years to see what life has taught you and brought you along by that point. I don't even know what that's going to look like. It'll be fun. It would be. I would like that. It would be fun to see. In the meantime, what do people need to know now as we wrap up? What does this next chapter for you look like? I mean, you're still kind of in it, right? I would imagine because you're still in this. You just dropped this music. You're still on the road. But I don't know. What do you envision for yourself this next Thames chapter to look like? Personally and, I guess, your career. Personally, I think I'm more grounded now. So what I'm trying to do is sow my seeds. I think now is the time to sow seeds and plant trees and meet people. I'm ready to get out there and talk to people. I'm ready to get out there and make more music. Music is always going to be part of my life. And also I'm moving away from seeing myself as one thing. like, oh, yes, I am a musician, but now I'm realizing that I have gifts in many other things, like pattern recognition and applying that in business and learning about business, learning about the world, learning about politics. I think because I'm really trying to learn a lot, I think this next chapter is diversification of investments. Wow. Well, I really can't wait for our next chat then. Me too. Wait, one last question that's in the bowl. All right. I love this question. I wish you would have got it, but I'm going to pull it for you. Okay. If God were to text you right now, what would it say? Wow, deep. If God were to text me. Like on that phone that you don't have the social media on. It's just, but you get a text and it's from God. What does it say? Okay. I am with you. Is there an emoji? He would probably be like, my daughter, I am with you. He might do an emoji, but I can't put myself in the place of God. I can't know what he would actually text me in reality. but I imagine that's what he might but I know that what he would really text me if he did would be so much better than what I just said that's perfectly aligned with who you are that's Thames in real life thank you that question is so funny because it really always reveals so much about people and the fact that you can't even answer it because you're so much in your faith that you don't even want to pretend that you can answer it better than he would answer it. That question always is very telling about people. This is Thames in Real Life. Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comment, and check out all of the other episodes we have on Angie Martinez IRL Podcast. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Ecker was accused of fathering twins. But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice, Ms. Owens, correct? I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Mancini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Listen to Love Trapped Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to The Secret World of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lori Siegel, and on my new podcast, Mostly Human, I'll take you to some wild corners of the tech world. 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