A Mother’s Pride: The Founding of PFLAG

Starting a business means wearing many hats, designer, marketer, manager, while chasing your vision. Shopify powers millions of businesses with tools to build beautiful stores, create content and market with ease. From inventory to shipping, everything runs smoothly. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your one euro trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. A listener note. This episode contains references to suicide. It may not be suitable for all audiences. It's April 15, 1972, in the ballroom of the Hilton Hotel in New York City. At the doorway of the chandeliered room, 31-year-old Morty Manford watches as a comedian on stage performs a routine featuring an offensive, limp-wristed caricature of a gay man. The room erupts with laughter. But as the president of the Gay Activists' Alliance, Morty doesn't find the performance funny at all, and he's here to put a stop to it. Every year, New York's political reporters hold a gala dinner at the Hilton. They usually invite city leaders, union chiefs, and top officers from the New York Police Department to join them. But a few weeks ago, the Gay Activists Alliance was tipped off that the post-dinner entertainment this year would be filled with homophobic jokes and insults, and after watching just the first performer, Morty realizes the information was right. He pulls out a bullhorn he's been discreetly hiding behind his back, then walks into the room along with a dozen followers. While Morty shouts through the bullhorn that homophobia will not be tolerated in New York City, the other members of the Gay Activists' Alliance spread out to distribute flyers, accusing the media and New York City government of discriminating against gay people. It doesn't take long for the activists and dinner guests to begin scuffling. And when one protester scrambles up on stage to grab the microphone, the comedian pushes him hard. To Morty's horror, fights are breaking out all over the room. But before he can do anything to stop them, Morty himself is grabbed violently about the chest, yanked into the air, and then dragged towards the door. Outside the New York Hilton, Morty Manford is subjected to a vicious beating. The attack is witnessed by several serving police officers, but none of them steps in to defend Morty, nor do any of them speak up afterwards. The man accused of the attack will be acquitted by the courts. But one person will not stand by and let the incident go unnoticed, Morty's mother. The assault on her son will spur her to become more involved in the gay rights movement, and she will go on to found a new advocacy organization that will seek to bridge the divide between gay and straight communities in America, after holding its first meeting in New York City on March 11, 1973. Starting a business means wearing many hats, designer, marketer, manager, while chasing your vision. Shopify powers millions of businesses with tools to build beautiful stores, create content and market with ease. From inventory to shipping, everything runs smoothly. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your one euro trial today at Shopify.nl. That's Shopify.nl. Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. Starting a business means wearing many hats, designer, marketer, manager, while chasing your vision. Shopify powers millions of businesses with tools to build beautiful stores, create content and market with ease. From inventory to shipping, everything runs smoothly. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your one euro trial today at Shopify.nl. That's Shopify.nl. Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. From Noiser and Airship, I'm Lindsey Graham, and this is History Daily. History is made every day. On this podcast, every day, we tell the true stories of the people and events that shaped our world. Today is March 11, 1973, a mother's pride, the founding of PFLAG. It's April 16, 1972, in St. Luke's Hospital, New York City, a few hours after Morty Manford was assaulted at the Hilton Hotel. Morty mother 51 Jean Manford wipes tears from her eyes as she sits at her sleeping son bedside As she strokes Morty hand Jean can stop thinking about a comment made by a police officer who informed her of the assault on him. In an embarrassed whisper over the phone, the officer told Jean that her son was gay. Jean's not troubled by that. She knows Morty is gay. Instead, it's the policeman's tone that's bothering Jean. It's suggested that Morty's sexuality is something that she should be ashamed of, And that has made Jean very sad and angry. Six years ago, Jean's eldest son, Charles, took his own life. Only after his death did Jean find out that Charles was gay. A few years later, Jean found out that her second son, Morty, was also gay, and history nearly repeated itself when Morty attempted suicide as well. Thankfully, Jean and her husband, Jules, discovered the unconscious Morty before it was too late. But during Morty's recovery, Jean realized that her sons hadn't tried to end their lives because they were gay. They'd felt driven to suicide because of the way society viewed and treated them. Gay people in America were often treated as either criminals, mentally unwell, or both. Many were shunned by their friends and family and made to feel ashamed for who they are. So from then on, at every opportunity she got, Jean made sure to remind Morty that she loved him just as much as ever. That not only helped Morty to come out publicly, but also encouraged him to become an active member of the gay rights movement in New York. He joined the Gay Activists Alliance and eventually became the organization's president. That meant Morty was often quoted in the press, and Jean proudly collected every newspaper clipping featuring him she could. But Morty's public profile has come at a cost. He's been the target of verbal abuse in the past, and now he's been seriously physically assaulted. As Morty lies unmoving in the hospital bed, another police officer enters the room. Jean doesn't rise from her seat or let go of her son's hand, but she does fix the officer with a cold gaze. She asks how the Brula attack could have happened in such a public place, and why the police officers at the event didn't intervene. The policeman evades Jean's questions and offers only empty platitudes in response. When he leaves, Jean comes to a conclusion. If no one else is going to protect her son, then she'll have to do it herself. After Morty is discharged and returns home, Jean picks up her pen and gets to work. She writes a letter to the New York Post, publicly identifying herself as the mother of the gay man who was beaten at the Hilton. With all the stigma and hatred aimed at gay people, it's a brave move. But Jean declares that she's proud of Morty and focuses her anger on the police officers who did nothing to stop the beating of her son. Two months later, Morty is finally back on his feet and ready to resume his work. But this time, he's joined by a new campaigner. Jean has decided to stand up herself and show the world just how much she loves her son. The Gay Activists' Alliance is due to march in the Christopher Street Liberation Day Parade, an event marking the third anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. The night before the parade, Jean takes a piece of cardboard and writes on it in large letters, Parents of gays, unite in support of our children. The following morning, Jean takes her place beside Morty in the crowd. Most of the marchers are gay men and women in their 20s and 30s. As a small, bespectacled woman in her 50s, Jean certainly stands out, but she receives a warm welcome from others on the march. Many of them are impressed that Jean has accepted her son's sexuality and is willing to support him so openly. Some throw their arms around her to thank her for her support. A few even ask Jean if she'll speak to their parents on their behalf. By the end of the parade, Jean will have tears in her eyes. But unlike when she was sitting at Morty's hospital bedside, this time they're not tears of sadness or anger. They will be tears of joy. And after the parade, Jean will become determined to do even more. The long march through Manhattan will just be the first step. Starting a business means wearing many hats. Designer, marketer, manager, while chasing your vision. Shopify powers millions of businesses with tools to build beautiful stores, create content, and market with ease. From inventory to shipping, everything runs smoothly. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your 1€ trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. That's Shopify.nl. with Shopify by your side It's March 11th, 1973, in the Metropolitan Duane United Methodist Church in New York City, nine months after the Christopher Street Liberation Day Parade. Jean Manford rises from her seat with a page of handwritten notes in her hand. She's here to support the campaign for gay rights, and 20 middle-aged men and women have gathered to hear what she has to say. Like Jean, they are all parents of gay people. But unlike Jean, many of them have troubled relationships with their children and found it hard to accept who they truly are. It's been almost a year since Jean wrote a letter to the New York Post in support of her son, Morty. Since then, Jean has been featured in newspapers and been interviewed on local radio. And every time she's been invited to speak, Jean has made sure to speak of her love for her son, a love that hasn't changed since she found out about his sexuality. Jean's unconditional support and the pride she showed in Morty moved people who heard her story. And soon, Morty noticed that his mother was getting more mention in the press than he was. But Morty wasn't jealous of his mother's profile. and said he recognized it was an opportunity. If some people were more willing to listen to the case for gay rights from a straight woman than a gay man, that was okay. Getting the message out was what mattered most. Morty saw that his mother could be a mouthpiece for the movement with the potential to reach a whole new audience. So with Morty's encouragement, Jean and her husband Jules decided to set up a support group for parents of gay and lesbian children. And tonight, March 11th, 1973, is the organization's inaugural meeting. Jean looks at the page of notes in her hand before turning and placing it back on the seat behind her. This isn't the moment for reading out a prepared speech. She wants to speak from the heart. So over the next few minutes, Jean outlines how she became involved in the gay rights movement. She describes her first son's death and how her second son was attacked. Then she reveals her plan to do something about the hatred and stigma that lay behind both incidents. She tells the people in the room that she wants the parents of gay children to stand up and oppose the homophobia and discrimination that their children face. And to help the parents speak as one, she wants to launch a new support group that she calls Parents of Gays. When she's finished speaking, Jean opens the floor to questions, and it soon becomes clear that not everyone in the audience is convinced by what she said. One man in the front row states he doesn't want to be proud of what he calls his son's lifestyle choice. Jean listens to the man patiently. And when it's her turn to reply, she tries to win him over by speaking of the injustices facing the gay community. The fear they feel and the need to hide who they are. The lack of equality. The violent attacks that people like her son have suffered. According to Jean, none of this will stop until the rest of society learns to accept gay people. And that effort must begin with their families. Because the gay people's own parents can't love them. there's no chance that outsiders will either. Jean's words aren't enough to win over the entire crowd. But by the time everyone has had their say, enough parents declare their intention to join Parents of Gays that the meetings become a monthly event. As word spreads about the new organization, the numbers grow, and the meetings become a place where friends and extended family are welcome to, not just parents. So the group adopts a new name to reflect this. They dub themselves the Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays or parent flag. The support group then begins spreading across the country, with local chapters springing up in cities including Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, and Washington, D.C. But the pace of change isn't quick enough for Jean, and the threats facing people like her son only become more obvious when gay politician Harvey Milk is assassinated in November 1978. In response, Jean decides that parent flag needs to become more involved in shaping the national political debate. Jean points out that there must be millions of gay and lesbian people in America, and that means that there are even more parents of gay and lesbian people. And that's a lot of voters whose opinions politicians can't afford to ignore. So almost a year after the death of Harvey Milk, parents' flag will take to the national stage by joining the country's most prominent gay leaders in America's capital. Together with tens of thousands of like-minded protesters, they'll deliver the message that discrimination and prejudice can have no future. Gay and lesbian people will not change and they will not disappear. So America will have to get used to it. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your 1 euro trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.nl. That's Shopify.nl. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. Starting a business means wearing many hats. Designer, marketer, manager, while chasing your vision. Shopify powers millions of businesses with tools to build beautiful stores create content and market with ease From inventory to shipping everything runs smoothly If you ready to sell you ready for Shopify Sign up for your one euro trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. Sign up for your 1 euro per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.nl. That's Shopify.nl. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. It's October 14, 1979, in Washington, D.C., six years after the founding of Parents' Flag. 59-year-old Adele Starr appears out from backstage at the vast crowd stretching down the National Mall. There must be tens of thousands of people here, and the sight makes her stomach turn. It's a bigger audience than she's ever addressed before. Five years ago, Adele learned that her son Philip was gay. The news came out of nowhere, and initially Adele had no idea how to react or where to look for the answers to all the questions going through her head. But Philip directed her to a group called Parents Flag. Adele was inspired by the example of Jean Manford and found her organization's resources so helpful that she ended up leading a local chapter in Los Angeles. It's in that capacity that Adele's been asked to speak today at the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. Campaign groups from all across the country have gathered today to demand an end to discrimination and for the rights of gay Americans to be asserted in law. And when it's Adele's turn to take the stage, she walks to the microphone and tells the crowd her story. Despite her nerves, she delivers her speech well, and the crowd erupts into supportive chants and applause. Following the march, Adele then meets with other leaders of Parents' Flag chapters from around the country, including founder Jean Manford. Their meetings continue over the next two years, until in 1981, the separate city branches band together to form a joint organization, PFLAG National. During the 1980s and 90s, PFLAG National will be at the forefront of the campaign for gay civil rights. But they will have to face a new wave of prejudice and personal heartbreak as the AIDS epidemic devastates the gay community. And among those lost to this deadly disease will be Jean's son, Morty Manford. But even in her grief, Jean doesn't stop working for the cause her son believed in. And despite all the challenges, the campaigners will be successful. One by one, the laws discriminating against gay people will be struck down. By the time Jean dies in early 2013, she will have witnessed same-sex marriage legalized in many states, and public opinion on gay rights shift dramatically. When she began her activism in the 1970s, as many as three-quarters of Americans thought being gay was wrong. But by the time of her death in 2013, almost two-thirds of the population will believe that gay men and women should be accepted by society. And a few weeks after Jean's death, her contribution to this seismic change will be recognized with one of America's highest honors, the Presidential Citizens Medal. The award will be presented by President Barack Obama at a reception at the White House. Hundreds of family, friends, and well-wishers will attend, a testament to the impact of Jean's work and a far cry from the 20 attendees of the first PFLAG meeting that took place in a New York church hall on March 11, 1973. Next on History Daily, March 12, 1930. As British authority tightens its grip on India, Mahatma Gandhi launches a 200-mile protest march to the sea. From Noiser and Airship, this is History Daily. Hosted, edited, and executive produced by me, Lindsay Graham. Audio editing by Christian Praraga. Sound design by Gabriel Gould. Supervising sound designer, Matthew Filler. Music by Throm. This episode is written and researched by Owen Paul Nichols. Edited by Scott Reeves. Managing producer Emily Berg. Executive producers are William Simpson for Airship and Pascal Hughes for Noiser. And market with ease. From inventory to shipping, everything runs smoothly. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your 1€ trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles. Designer, marketer, logistics manager. All while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos. inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. Starting a business means wearing many hats, designer, marketer, manager, while chasing your vision. Shopify powers millions of businesses with tools to build beautiful stores, create content, and market with ease. From inventory to shipping, everything runs smoothly. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your one euro trial today at shopify.nl. That's shopify.nl.