Impish Jews with Ian Fidance

And now the bonfire with big J. O'Carson and Robert Kelly Happy Monday everybody welcome to a bonus episode of the bonfire podcast Everybody please enjoy this never before aired episode of the bonfire Here's us with Ian finance Fuck here's us with Ian fine dance What is it? What's his dumb name? Finance fine dance fine dance in the word dance fight it. Hey check it out. It's us with Ian fight dance I dance Just looking at pictures on the comes up on my Amazon TV of my early barbecue and And a picture of Ian came up back in the day When you first moved to New York Really? Yeah, it was just but you was sitting there. You're it was Stave. It was you was all you know I've been in New York for forever. That was like the first time we all hung out. It was the first time I brought you to my house. Yes. Oh, so when I was only went to the one yes I only came the one the one where we got in the pool and ship. Oh, yeah I've also been to Thanksgiving at your house. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that picture too. Yeah Norton right I was alone that's why you invited me. No, but I didn't have family We had other people there, right? Well, yeah, I think it was like you mean Norton Nikki. I think Was Louie there Then Louis did come Nikki doesn't have a hot trans as a friend to bring for Thanksgiving for Ian. I know nice It's fucked up. Well, Louie came and he After dinner he did that Louis thing where he's like, oh, I'm gonna take care of the dishes. I'm like back the fuck off I thought it was the other thing It was fun it is fun though when you have to have a Seven-foot tall trans woman leave her high heels at the door because you don't do shoes in the house And then me and Bobby just marveling at the size of those shoes We were downstairs and we're just coming up from downstairs and the shoes or it was just everybody's shoes and then These Shaquille O'Neal high heels. Yeah, it looks like a novelty high heel you're supposed to drink something out of in a foreign country I'm gonna do a high Healy. That's a sure the old woman lives in You know that voice and you love that voice it belongs to Ian fine ants who's joining us everyone He's got so much going on He has a new travel show on YouTube produced by why I'm h called Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs new episodes premiering every Tuesday On YouTube comm slash Ian five dance comedy. I'm gonna do your plugs because Bobby doesn't know your name Ian's also gonna be in Hartford Connecticut at Hartford funny bone this weekend April 10th and 11th Then the last stop in Calgary April 23rd through the 25th after that Los Angeles Point Pleasant, New Jersey and Albany, New York for tickets and all of us tour dates Ian five dance Dot-com. Yes. I don't know if you know Bobby's been doing mostly A guest on Jay fucking pegs them against me. I made a mistake. Well, just back on that was interesting language Jay pegs pegs them against me is also a weird way to put it I have to know I met it that way I have to jump in early because Bobby and Kim Cogburn here yesterday and they forgot I was on the show I'm sorry. I would talk to both of them and then I'd watch them both literally do this No, no, I go. Oh my god. I'm talking guys. Can I just say something? I know she she was on ketamine She blamed Bobby completely. She was on ketamine But also too a little bit of it. She told me today in the podcast She's done it like five or ten times and I was like today. Yeah, well it was nine before yesterday Yeah, I can give you a pound on that. You stole my off-air joke Yes, I did Re-purposed it repackaged it We're gonna stand in that we're both Heroes I mean well, we're like you and we're full heroes. No him and Kim me and Kim But she saved a life. She saved three lives in one day. Oh one weekend. I saved we saved human beings lives Yeah, no whites though ever Kim saved three lives in a day They only saved ethnic to get the cloud Because he's in the water What? Yeah, what happened? Bobby saved a drowning black girl in Costa Rica. I already know about this, but I know he wants to hear it again So tell me. No, it's okay. Kim Congdon as a hero. I do. I'll give you a quick version of it There was a little black girl on the beach screaming that her sister was in the water and she couldn't swim Bobby came over and then Bobby as he started Putting on his shirt to go into the water. He said uh, he started I have my shirt on yeah, he started saying he started saying turd in the punch bowl turd in the punch bowl He always coughs. He always coughs when he knows he's lying He goes turn the punch ball and then the little girl was confused and then Bobby goes You're too young to get it and then he went in and saved her life. I never said turd This is this is jays and then when he goes and then the father couldn't swim So bobby had to swim his daughter over to the father and he goes sir, you're turd And then out of breath when the news came up to interview him he went Turn the punch ball. I gotta get it out. He had to get it out. It's crazy. I never said turn the punch So hero, I guess by actions not by words I would I never said that and then kim wound up. She was in um, portorico And there was a man went under she went grabbed him as she pulled him up He was holding his a nine-year-old son had went down So he went down to save him the kid and his father almost died. She saved two lives a literal definition of an anchor baby 1016th of a person kim saved oh my 16th Then later she was surfing and there was a old white guy Out there drowning and she went over to him. Do you need help? He's a guy do saved him took him in from a At what point did we start thinking you guys are trying to give people that uh, what's that munchausen? Center by proxy. Yeah, it's like you seem to be the person who's always there Yeah, well bobby's just going up to black people like you should go swim. Yeah, swim rocks in your pockets playing the odds I don't know how to swim and you go it doesn't matter and they go What about when my hair gets wet and drags me to the earth's core and then he goes turds don't know how to swim in the punch Wow, wow crazy. Wow. I thought the punch ball thing was low-class. No, I didn't say it even for you I would never say that wait. Did I tell so much that I'm starting to believe that it did happen or didn't happen That's what you're saying Oh, I did save a guy's life a couple weeks after that too Who was dying on the streets of new york and I called the police and I called the ambulance That came and saved his life and then yamanica told the people at the park where she was hanging out childless strange Uh, that somebody was gouging the bathrooms in the children's park with gasoline How yamanica came across that that's one of the questions i'm prepared to ask What that happened? Yeah. Yeah, then To a much greater extent I Had what I thought was a homeless lunatic Come up to my table at a restaurant in north carolina And I kind of shoot him away and then realized that he was uh mentally challenged adult And he went back to his table and then I Felt so bad for kind of showing the way that I gave him what he was pointing at on my table And it was just tomatoes. He did draw with them fried green tomatoes, and then I paid for The handlers and the the retarded people they were taking care of Entire meal things. I bet they wouldn't want you to say Yeah, yeah, it was too late. I already paid for the meal. They've already accepted it now I think I paid without without saying anything doing that allows you a pass to say that of course and you Probably now have an n-word pass for life Well, the father did say that the father did give me an actual pass. He had him on him He did it was funny when uh when he said at the end he was like he was like hey man He goes by the way he was thank you so much for my daughter goes turned into punch bowl thing was a hit And then he did the behind the thing finger the finger touch Turned the punch bowl love it Look at all these heroes and then uh and then to uh an even greater extent. I mean that was my heroics paid for uh Retarded guy and their handlers meal without the me that mean I left. Yes. I left Took no kudos and then Christine took no kudos And then Christine. Thank you told me that came in the house one day and told me that I forgot to unplug the extraordinarily safety featured uh What do you call space heater? Yeah, and she let me know that she unplugged it Before we left the house hero Oh my god, she stopped us from having a 0.6 chance of having a house fire I knocked out a nazi in austin Can I hear us there I heard there was two I heard you Want to fight and someone else got their ass who got their ass kicked the guy. No no no Same weekend Another I don't know. I don't want to say the wrong part was like red band or something. Do you know who was it? You know, I thought you lived down in austin I thought but in the same week that I was down there They were like holy shit in A couple days ago knocked somebody out and the other person got knocked at her in a fight in front Oh, I don't know nothing about that. What happened with you this guy went up to another comic this Jewish comic this girl wore a mash And I was in the bathroom and he went up to her and was like are you a jew? I fucking hate jews. I want all jews to die like walked away and she was like what the fuck And I came back and everybody was like ash and white and I was like what what happened? They told me what happened. I was like you guys do anything like no, you just I think someone's telling the bartender World are we living in I was like, do you want me to like confront them? Are you okay? Like what do you need the american has to stick up for the jew again? This has never happened before I I just I I don't know and then we saw the guy get kicked out So we all like pot out of the barn We're outside smoking and he like walked down the street and then he came up and he started mouthing off again But this time he was like gesticulating and like kind of like ramping up and like moving is like it looked like he was Going to get violent. Yeah, so I took my rings off and I was like prepare thyself And uh, you don't want to kill him. He was like well, he was like, uh He started going off about jews again. He's like I want every fucking jew to die. Fuck you Fucked you like all this shit and he looked at me and goes, I bet you're a fucking jew and he like stepped towards me Was it Dave Smith? Fresh off a rogue and he's feeling hot. Yeah, it gets crazy off a roguin. Yeah And I I flicked a cigarette and I was like, yeah, I am a fucking jew I was such a badass move and then I knocked him out The last question real quick when you flick the cigarette did the ash Like a firework. Oh, I wish Oh, it didn't it just like hit his chest and then fell. Oh, shit And I knocked him out But I I would have done that for anyone like if it was any race that would have been like, I'm chinese I like knocked him out like it was very uh, it was wild man. He was like Like really like it felt like it was gonna get like violent And uh, he fell in the ground when he got knocked out He fell his body went into the shape of a swastika. So it was like a good job You get the last lamb and then duty got up Was like who hit me who hit me and like started charging like a group came up He started charging at us and the bouncer swung him took him and choked him out and he passed out again And then we got up and I was like I get to get the fuck out of here And apparently red band said he like got one in on him And then I had my idiot friends from home with me And I went inside. I was like, y'all I gotta get out of here. They're like, why are you leaving? I was like, I knocked some guy out. I gotta leave before like, you know, something happens And my buddy's like you I'll kill him and he like runs out chases the guy down Starts like yelling at him and I grab him like stop you have a family goes fuck my family This guy's gonna die. I was like no And then when he turned around the guy Like swung on my friend and my buddy put him in a headlock and I didn't know my friend was like hitting him in the face I just saw the guy grabbing. Can you stop credit? This is my brand new outsider. So Somebody new music at the house the new musical Oh, I thought you went to the outside of south. No, no, no, that would be masculine He instead went to the musical was in cried in front of his son. Did you several times? No, not several You can't do that. Well two times two and a half the last time was because they made Dallas black I dare you to hear these songs and not cry not in front of my son. Well, you don't have a son Well, I would not cry in front of my cat That's the I wouldn't cry in front of my dog. I wouldn't cry in front of my dog at all. Yeah, no I go to my crying corner in my room. Do you have a crying corner? Yeah. Yeah. I looked like the guy at the end of Blair Witch No one loves me Yeah, I didn't know. Yes. So this guy got his ass beat like three times I didn't know someone else But I do know I wanted the green room at the mother ship on like Monday And all these people were like, well, you knocked this guy out blah blah and louis was there and he spun his head around I was like what who? No, he doesn't knock people out. He's gay. I do hit me. Show me how hard you hit And then I was like no and he's like you're a pussy. I don't believe you knock someone out and then that night What a challenge that night that's when he got drunk and tried to fight that guy at the creek I bet you that's a hundred percent what it was was he had to get involved in something the show like Because i'm telling you you did that as I was down there with louis It's what it was when we did like a story wars last time Down there and there was somebody else got no fight beside you because it was the thing It was like somebody else. I think a comic got hurt in a fight Oh, no, you knocked somebody out a fight and then I think louis like shortly after yeah gotten the thing Yeah, well it was funny because that was like the whole austin new york beef was going on So all these austin comics saw and they came up to me afterwards and I went this is for louis go New york's on top Like shashade away on the street and louis fight brought us back down to the bottom Yeah, yeah shadow box and fight while louis went out there He said like as soon as he was walking outside was that things like i'm not involved in this fight I don't want to and also once the guy's outside It's over. Oh that ai dance is so funny I do i'm so lucky no one called on camera. They can't they scrub the security cameras So everything but why would you be in trouble for and what i'm saying didn't even happen It was just a joke. I'm why do you feel you'd be in trouble for something come from you hit somebody first? It's a salt. Yeah, if they're charging. I if they if they I felt that there was like a threat If they physically touch you and you hit them, it's fine, but he could say he hit me Well, he's also saying i'm gonna kill you i'm gonna kill all you and then also yeah I don't think this guy's gonna cool down when the cops get there. He's gonna go like what does he mean? I love jim i also don't think that i'm just saying that that's the like the the thing Is that if you hit somebody I didn't without them touching you it's a salt like if you punch somebody And they you they didn't touch you it's just you you go to jail. I think on that street though Yeah, I also think in texas they stop it. You're fine. I'm telling you they stop it You watch all the videos those texas street fights They the cops really what they try to do is separate it and get everybody going different directions Like they just get and if anything you just go to jail you get a desk ticket Yeah, well in new york city if people fight they'll be like we got to bring you both downtown No, you both have to file a report It's he said she said and if the cops don't witness it and there's nothing stolen you'll get off on misamine her and then you Won't have to face any time that's been like a huge issue with things going on the city Someone can assault you you go to the police and like well, we didn't see it you can File something but you know, we really don't know what happened. So the cop has to like witness it. It's crazy I got into a fight and the guy was like We got you he says you hit him you hit he hit you blah blah blah You both have to deal with this round. We're gonna both take you or 11 in school No, it was when I was in new york. Oh, I got tackled outside of the fucking The stress factor a couple years ago. I remember that yeah tell you were the teller. Yeah. Yeah, and this guy tackled me on the concrete I'm like hitting him in the ribs. He's like punching me his friends pull him off I found the police and I was like, look, I'm not gonna press charges But can you ruin his night? Can you just I actually said I was like can you hand cover him and I like yell at him behind you and like no matter of fact You can't do anything. We didn't see anything. It's he said she said so You can he can get a ticket But nothing's gonna happen. So just go about your way and I was like, oh, you were hurting from that one a little bit It fucked my elbow. I'm like Yeah, my place pretty funny. Yeah, and then Louis cats and a teller like what happened. Do you need help? I was like, yeah from the two leads help Of all time. We're gonna make them laugh them to death. The three of us impish jews Unite yes, just go take back the night. Yeah. Yeah by the powers of three of us combined. We can eat soup Oh, you want to fight is that what you want to do? Yeah Yeah, but I mean look like in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have Done that obviously, but it was uh crazy Are you Jewish? From like my neck up Like I'm Ashkenazi by like uh, 23 and me. I'm like such a small percentage I never grew up Jewish. I grew up Italian Catholic and then when I found out from the 23 me. I'm I'm Jewish I brought a menorah home to light with my mom And it set the dining room table on fire and I was like, this is a sign. That was jesus. I'm not Yeah, I said curtains on fire with the menorah this year. Really? Yeah Did you see uh, I don't realize there's people Again comics like coming out against uh, deon coal Why yeah, because he brought because they brought conya on stage of the improv the other day Oh, really for like whatever the show that the d-ray show I think is and deon coal and I just I didn't think anything when I saw it. I was like, oh, I was probably cool for the crowd and conya was just showing up and And then I forget it's like not that I forget all the things conya west has done But I just think he's like a guy who's off medication at times and then he's all and then I don't think it excuses anything But I'm just like I wouldn't think anything. I'm like, oh, is he not like a if he's not on stage going hitler I wouldn't even think twice about it about showing up at the improv like okay, great And there's comics that are like deon coal. What a letdown man. Do you forget this guy? May a song call the catchiest song ever called hail hitler A song that puts two things in your head, but you're allowed to say one and not the other oh my god the most sold merch That was so crazy when that song came out. It's so good and catchy But then like people were bleeping out the n-word but saying hail hitler. It's like what is it? What? That's kind of strange No, so now it's funny. You see their mouths are saying all the things but now it's changed to hallelujah No way. Did he change it or did they change he changed it? Yeah, they shouldn't change it to like an opposite good word. It's crazy. Well, I don't I figure with this line They change because they're making a gospel song because all my n-words nazis n-word hail hitler seems like a strange I don't know what I don't know what they changed the I don't know what they changed that first line too But but hail hitler has changed to hallelujah, but you see their mouths are still saying hail hitler I hate this kind of music though. It's just auto-tuning Everyone's like do the concert so far state of me looks at me like he just kept stopping and complaining in auto-tune Because he would start the song and be like come on guys. What's going on? We need a little You guys got to do the lighting right those lights aren't good. They're corny man. Is it we gotta start this thing? I really yeah, it's just him. He stops the music 15 times start that shit again. They play it goes No, stop stop stop. You guys aren't getting it right. The lights are all weird. You need to fix the lights Where's my water any the water? Anybody if you want to go to the bathroom now's the time we got to get a couple of things fixed anybody got a tile and all You haven't complaining. What are you stopping come on y'all? I got this shit Is this where is this so far stadium and that is like a thing that he's on top of it's insane looking I mean as far as a place to perform. I mean a half globe is pretty fucking dope. Is he just on top of it? Yeah, and they're tethered. It's wild. I thought they froze his bank account. How'd he pay for this? Stay front of the tomb The t-shirt money really got him back on top. I think they said what was it? It's a couple tens of millions a night He made I'm not sure if the whole run Sold out each night and there was like a million people in the queue to buy tickets Yeah, the whole run. I think he made like tens of millions on those three nights. Wow. Oh, wow So it's funny how you can just build better. He's gonna donate that to like a jewish. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he did get Mrs. Allgaon knew a synagogue synagogue synagogue Did he sing Al Hitler did he sing? No those days that wasn't his opener. No, no He's the didn't you see did the whole article in the wall street journal where you apologized again for all you didn't see that He did a real apology a couple months ago And he was like specifically for the jewish hate thing and he's like he just says what he says every time He's not I believe him. He's like Yeah, well, I start feeling good Then I get off my meds and then people are like you need to be on your meds He goes why I feel great and I've realized that I hail Hitler You guys don't understand but that's like once I get at the word out to everybody They're gonna understand too and then everybody turns on him. He goes I guess I do have to go back to the hospital Dude that happens so often and it's like yeah, he's like saying these important thing, but it's like dude this guy needs Help but no one's gonna help you when you go when you go. Hey, man. Here's 80 grand pocket money just to not get me help Please. Oh, yeah, you could do that all day long Well, dude, I you know that that kid that was like, you know that I knocked out it's like I I talked about in a podcast on these people in the comments like free speech. You don't believe in free speech It's like dude, I'm getting somebody's face and barking something Yeah, if you're getting in someone's face and you start like ramping up and moving your arms are like, I'm gonna kill you Fuck juice. I'm gonna kill it. It's like, yeah, I think that's fucking different than like him singing Hail Hitler When he's not on his fucking meds It's interesting it goes to like kind of what we were saying and it's like if you want to say that on stage or like Jokes like I'm not gonna run up on stage and fucking knock you out But if you're an insane crazy guy and you're like threatening a friend or something go fuck yourself. Just no Ian will knock you out I'm not yeah Ian say knock you out. Ian say knock you out. If I didn't say knock you out Hold on. I gotta I gotta put my clothes on back It must suck to get knocked out by a guy who's hang on. I gotta take my rings off. Yeah It also like do you really think I change his mind the last thing he sees before he gets knocked out is literal Jewish propaganda Because he can wake up and be like I've changed my views. I've just created 20 more He was I got just punched out. I just punched unconscious by that Nazi drawing Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I did stand over and go suck my matzabals Come on Bobby laugh That'd be fun. I was laughing. It'd be fun if you had a star David ring and just put that on his forehead Well, I couldn't take my ska ring off because it it might think I had too much salt And so it would have been so funny if I hear a ska from mark on his head on the matzabred From all the matzab. But you know, it's funny. It's uh It kind of goes with said like the freedom of speech argument thing It's it's kind of so we were talking to that guy last night Yeah on your show that was talking about like going to a Kamala Harris event. I couldn't give two fucks about Kamala Harris Yeah, there's nothing to me at all. I have no emotional tide towards that totally it was that uh, they were like well We went to one of her things like a speech or you know speaking engagement. She was doing and When she would say like and of course, you know, he whose name we dare not speak, you know talking about trump He said they would be like trump trump and like just kind of like barking shit out like to be like a nuisance And I'm like, I don't like that. Yeah, no, even if you don't agree with Kamala. I said it's the same We said for your Corey Feldman like please go everybody will send thousands upon thousands people to Corey Feldman shows We say all the time do not fuck with his show even a little bit. Don't be a cunt. Don't fucking yell things out Don't dog whistle the show. Just go watch him Give a thousand percent effort for zero talent. It's the funniest thing in the world. What you don't need to fuck And you put them in the right mood to enjoy it If they know How we what it is then you get to actually experience Go to the Kamala harris thing and gather information to go talk about on your podcast Sorry, but just sit there and interrupt the show free speech on stage and songs and Movies or whatever but like when you act like a fucking dickhead like that It's like you're beating a piece of shit like I fully believe in 2a owning guns great But when those guys show up somewhere to like a Chick-fil-a with a machine gun around their neck and they're like Two-way man. Yeah, I'm free. I'm allowed to carry you guys. It's like dude. Yeah, you are Why are you doing that? That's weird. Just leave it in your dumb truck. Yeah, you're making it weird for everyone to try to Fuck improve a point. You know, you can you know, it's legal to fucking animal in seven states. What state? Wisconsin, kentucky It's like, yeah, you're allowed just those two places without fucking out you asshole No, well it comes it's the basic like You're 50 years old. You could fucking you're allowed to hook up with and date an 18 year old Yeah, should no it's weird weird. You should weird. I have to say publicly Well an 18 year old trans is like a 33 year old anything else I mean, that's a trans here. Please Please play Kanye West getting mad in autotune makes me laugh. Come on now I thought y'all professionals Kanye, this isn't soundcheck. It's a real show my bad You're standing on a fucking million dollar globe Get on with it. Captain EO shoulder pads on oh my god Wait after he got over these little hiccups. Was it fine? I'm sure it was Grammy. People said they loved it. Oh Yeah, it looks amazing. I think he starts like he stops again But again, would this also show that's just what his brain tells him when he's taking his medicine Pause pause. Don't do that. I'll tell you the main reason why this show actually sucked To me I would go there and think it sucked is because you are going to A high spectacle listening party because you can hear from the way he keeps going bring the track back in and it comes back in It's not he just wraps over himself rapping on a they're just playing the cd. All rap does that now So it's like karaoke. You know it's fucking not even karaoke. It's not it's singing in the car with yourself It's like he's they had lauren hill came out and did um all falls down with him like that was I she was definitely live She was walking down the road. No, he's live. He's singing. He's rapping live But he doesn't have to do he'll not do three words in a row because he's like being like dmc to his own run On the recording the backup track has it the backup track is playing his voice the whole time He sings he sings a lot of it. I'm sure with him But if anytime he doesn't just choose is not to like it's just playing. Yeah, see I I like like Hardcore like punk singers are like even like metal bands do this where the singer will stop and the crowd's singing along and they'll Their voice will carry or they'll give the microphone to someone that's cool But not like your own backing track to like pause and catch a breath while your backing track is still singing. No, yeah play I was surprised uh Meg the stallion at Coachella. I think I was surprised to watch some of it and it really was I was like, oh, wow You're just like you're just dancing your own music. I love her. She can do no. I love her too. I think she's a great rapper I love her love with Clive Makes me so happy Does he sing Jesus walks I like that song he does I think by the end of it It's on the end of the set right you saw the set list. Yeah, it is. It's pretty fucking epic He does put on an epic visual. Holy shit. No, he is listen Him and Kurt Metzger should be in the same fucking padded room. You don't think that look standing on top of a fucking globe That's pretty dope. That's dope. I'm saying like no, I mean it's like him and Metzger First time I'm gonna do it. No, by the way, you're watching actual genius Like fucking a beautiful mind and all that kind of shit these guys they can't have their lives together Right because their mind's just working a different way and it's like a mega talent in so in so many ways and then you're like You know Hey, do you lock your front door at night? Kurt and he's like, I don't have a lock on my door Like he's the guy that he was like he's like a crazy in so many ways, you know I mean and but also like Is one of the funniest human beings ever the way his brain works So I think Kanye West is like I'm not even a huge Kanye West fan at all But like I acknowledge the guy's like a mega talent at what he does Oh, it's prolific. It's incredible. I'm saying it's not my like I don't have tons of great songs Like this happens and then people try to act like they never liked it, you know Like well, I never liked this or like I'm not listening to this again It's like dude. I listen and watch all this stuff unless it's like Jimmy Saville No, no, no, no bad bad Marilyn Manson, it was a little bit weird there for a minute, but it all kind of went away and he got And at the end of the day, I'm just like I don't He's like such an old shell of himself now. Anyway, he's the thing that it's like doesn't really matter I still love Michael Jackson. Everything Michael Jackson did all of it. I know I love it I know and then he liked his music and dancing never did anything wrong I believe it You believe anything? I don't think you do you don't think you fuck it. No, you don't think he looked at a kid's asshole No, I I think that documentary was you think he just had those guys were Attention starved and that one guy always wanted to be in the limelight. Wait, Robson. Yeah, that was like there He was no limelight You think a 50 year old man had an amusement park built in this house and he didn't fuck kids because he never had a childhood And it's a fucked up thing and I think he and fine. You're giving him the excuse he wanted was uh Someone has to so what you slept in the bedroom. Look man. I came up in black rooms. What do you want and cosby did nothing wrong either? Okay, they took him down because he wanted to buy mbc Buddy, buddy. I know black people rule Black people rule. No one knows that more than me. Nobody. Uh, oh by the way, I saw your clip I was on the subway cackling Slapping my leg. You watched everybody talking about it, right? Like Dan and everybody. Yeah, yeah from from the show Dude in your face. I mean, I was on the Like slapping my leg like I had I had like some sort of mental issues. That was back when I was jay the reveal ochre Dude non stop reveals insane insane Amazing black people rule. I love them. I'm gonna make six figures this year off those shirts Are you making them? Absolutely. Oh, dude, that's the best. Absolutely. That's the best. Yeah, but on the back You should go just kidding Now on the back we're gonna put in shit because that's the other thing I say non stop in shit Blah blah blah and shit what and shit and shit and shit And that's what it is. So shit. Everybody ready to laugh now? Ready to laugh now? Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Everybody ready to laugh now? Not for real And then when I before I realized that black crowds don't like you doing gay stuff in a joke They don't like the whatever that template of the old uh You know guy says if I suck as dick, he's gonna give me this so I'm sucking his yeah, whatever Uh, that and then so at the end of that one joke and I go Yeah, he goes, uh He knows getting fucked in the I say I gotta rest it for something stupid. I go, you know, I'm getting fucked in the ass that night And here you gotta go. Oh Yeah Black people rule there's also one too. There's one guy One guy goes like this he goes boo. You hit one at the end. They say it's boo. I go. That's my time y'all I'm big j whatever and they're like One guy just just a black ghost I boo I think at the boo if I suck boomi off the stage, you know, I mean Oh, I didn't know someone boo me right away We didn't hear that one. That's uh, I edited that. Oh, okay But it's real booze like some drops. Yeah If I suck boomi off the stage, you know, I mean Oh my god, but that's fey. He made that with real booze those those booze happened, but not there not there But you have the one at the end That's the last one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty rough. Do you want to hear this? That's not him. Yeah That's stupid. It's a dumb way to do a concert. Do they but do they do that with rap though? Don't they double the voice any like on rap songs? No, but when they do that That's when your dj is supposed to do the lawn with here or whatever. This is that's that's a cheesy way to do it I thought they I thought they always doubled the rap voice just to give it more oomph because it doesn't sound like I say something I now agree. This is as bobby said Dope it's because I am now seeing him on top of the globe. Jay said it was dope. Everything. That was the first time I used the word dope Oh, yeah, I just But now I think it was like up close before I was like this is gonna look great. It's pretty He's on the earth when I saw the videos after the first night I almost flew to california to go to the show But it's funny because as as israel comes over he actually israel isn't in the globe. He took that part out. Nice Yeah, good for him. He just made it all palestine He walk over gaza though A bit disrespectful, but he brought his daughter out and she sings over track also like everyone just kind of like I said really just coming to watch his music with him I'd go see that that's pretty Listen if you were there you'd go because of what the spectacle is but I said his song is like he just not mine That's a big deal That's not coming out and doing this apparently she recorded the original vocals for it and it was stopped Oh, this song this song also blows. Is that mary jay? No, that's lauren hill. That's lauren hill. Say mary jay. That's lauren. Is lauren mary jay not a bit? I thought the bonfire was in the background of this concert I know that you don't we sponsored this concert. That's hilarious. We sponsored this whole show We watermarked the tv's It's funny. You can see the uh little lassals holding them on so they don't fall off Wow, that's all liability right there. Yeah, wait, so that That's not light. Huh? They're on a moot. That's nuts. It's a screen. No, it's not moving. It's all it's like this. It's like the sphere screen Yeah, they just took the sphere and put it I think I have two feeble of a mind to comprehend what's happened And then above them is a round screen that looks how great would it be if that thing snapped and she just rolled off the globe I also as I mean this too I think he also dresses stupid and that takes away from the music form for for me also He looks like a medieval knight that just got out of battle. Yeah, like the way it's like a weird fucking puffy shoulder And his dumb boots suck. He looks like a miner on mars Yeah, yeah, yeah He wears those boots to go up to his knee and like they're just clunky ugly. I don't know his things He's just not my thing. Christine loves him I Acknowledged he's mega talented, but I couldn't give two shit and I used to hate him I actually gave him up. He came to comics to see as he's on sorry and I didn't want to wait on him No way I gave him up as a kid. Why because I just his energy I thought he was a fucking like I just didn't like his whole thing or his whole vibe. That was in 2009 Yeah, somewhere along the lines Probably like 2019. I just became a huge fan Like a Pablo she did not have a problem with his racism towards jews at all. I was like, he's crazy I'm like, what are you? He's a crazy person. We all know this It is it is nuts that Christine stood by him 100% through that And never stopped. There was nothing that shook her back on you was I was shaken by the maryllum ants and stuff Yeah, initially I was like, ah fuck. No, I was like he's a mental patient. Like what do you people like are we? Are we not realizing that? Yeah, I mean is what's his album called? I am bipolar. It's awesome It's like how much more transparent Christine's also Armenian like the Kardashian So she thinks if she keeps saying nice things eventually he's going to swing down and scoop her up take her on top of that half world Take her on top of that half globe with him Would you see I do not want to love Kanye West believe me. Would you see Metallica at the sphere for how expensive the tickets are? No, the reason I won't go at all of that And I might have been shaken by not going like like FOMO is because they're doing the five Entirely different shows. It's not enough catalog for that. Did you know the sphere the sphere totally insane the sphere too They have a whole section of seats that suck You can't see the top. I thought there's a it's like underneath. No, there's a whole section that's underneath It's a little scary almost Right at the top back can't see the top of the roof. So the one person I've ever talked to about the sphere has lied to me You have to you have to get these In the like the front to see the whole experience. No, no, no, no, you could be like It's just the very top There's a whole section that has a roof above it and you can't all the stuff that's happening You know, I would love to see Metallica again And they're great, but I would not pay that much it goes Well, I wouldn't pay that much I said because also like you're gonna get like they're gonna hold off The songs that you love you're not gonna hear because they're holding it off for another night. That sucks Dude, I that's a bad idea play a different set each time thing It's like oh god, it makes it because you want to go to every show obviously, but it's like I don't have the money or time for that. I mean I do but I don't but I want to hear what I want to hear I'm gonna do tool at the sphere for sure. Whoa. I mean, I'm believe you know, it's I'll tell you what they ain't changing their set They did a three-day festival for them. So they did a three day Tooled at a three-day festival and they can just play the same set every night and the crowd was like, what the fuck and you're like, what? That's so funny. They had like a they had like a what's the big deal? You know how funny can we don't ever do the same sets? No I'll tell you what really sucks is that how much Jacob doesn't like Ian Yeah, what the fuck he just left It's a song from the 50s. He's just trying to give Jacob two more hours of work tonight Yeah, here he is Jacob Did you leave because you had work or because you don't like me? Both He never leaves like that normally never he's never left and he's never left on people He doesn't like this because I imitated you at I think it's because you five years ago. Oh get over that Sure, it's haunted you since but get over it Ian finance is going to be in Hartford, Connecticut at the Hartford funny bone for tickets and all tour dates visit Ian finance.com fidea nce Dot com and he also has a new travel show produced by ymh called Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs New episodes premiere every other Tuesday on youtube.com slash Ian finance comedy following all socials I animal 69 on instagram Ian do show on instagram And uh bobby kelly go to punch up that live slash robert kelly. He's gonna be a comics roadhouse. Stay tuned everyone Yeah, make sure you check out uh, dj lose go to comicribbles.com and get his new shirt that's out right now Help him get one of couple shirts a couple models. He has to get a dowry to marry his uh, indian wife That's absolutely correct. You're not wrong. He's got a lot of shit. He does he does. What is he giving you? Cato, you have to do something to my father. I should I want salt paprika and more Just so you know, she's about as indian as you are jewish, but that's our impression ever now She's half black. She's half black. You know what I mean homie. You know what I mean home boy You gotta get a one of jay shirts black people rule black people do rule crackle crackle