Ggiata Delicatessen with Vanessa Chester

This is the HeadGum Podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash doughboysmedia. Hey, buddy, the Doughboys are coming to Seattle. That's right, Mitch, home of the NFL champion Seattle Seahawks. Well, soon the Doughboys will be joining your city to give you a live show March 1st, Neptune Theater. Tickets available at birdfuck.com. Home of Frasier Crane. You're mad at that? With our guest, Jordan Morris. That's right, Jordan Morris will be with us. Jordan Morris joining us for a show March 1st in Seattle, Neptune Theater. It's going to be a lot of fun. It's going to be a blast. We're going to see you there. There might be some surprises. I don't have anything planned, but we could probably have a surprise. Come check it out, dudes. Are you being a Seattle guy? Yeah, like a flannel guy. Tickets at birdfuck.com slash live. See you there. Wow. Cameroon is a relatively new nation, having achieved independence from its French colonizers in 1960 and their British counterparts in 1961. With a population of around 30 million, this ecologically diverse Africa in miniature has produced an impressive number of professional basketball players, most notably one-time league MVP Joel Embiid and perennial all-star Pascal Siakam. The son of a small-town mayor, Siakam's original plan was to enter the priesthood, but his God-given height and athleticism led him to start hooping as a teen, and his famed work ethic accelerated his ascent into excellence. After entering the NBA as a late first-round draft pick of the Toronto Raptors, the multilingual, entertaining, on-and-off-the-floor emerging star became a fan favorite and was given the nickname Spicy P. Spicy P went on to be a key member of the historic 2019 Toronto NBA championship team led by mercenary basketball terminator Kawhi Leonard. One year later, the COVID pandemic halted the NBA season and also led to an explosion of takeout restaurants. And so it was in 2020 that a New Jersey-born trio founded an Italian-style sandwich shop in the Los Angeles neighborhood of Melrose Hill. Powered by a widely circulated Instagram of its lovingly crafted and visibly caloric handhelds, the deli outlasted the pandemic and has grown to a half-dozen take-out and delivery-only locations across L.A. And its signature sandwich, a chicken cutlet with spicy vodka sauce, is called the Spicy P. Siakam has since been traded to the Indiana Pacers, where he again returned to the NBA finals and made All-NBA. And he also hosts a playful food-based web series titled How Hungry Are You? But it's unlikely the Cameroonian baller slash foodie would opt to order his signature namesake Sando from this trendy takeout chain. On fellow Raptors champion Danny Green's podcast, Siakam said, quote, I don't like spicy food because I'm spicy enough. This week on Doughboys, Jada Neighborhood Deli. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, halftime show performer, a tad funny, the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell. Oh, bad funny. A bad funny take from the recent Super Bowl game that your Patriots lost. Probably did not want to remind you of that. Oh, yeah, thanks, Weig. You're the guy who never wants to timestamp these, but then you could go ahead and remind me that the Patriots lost. No, yeah, we're unfortunately into the shadow, the long shadow of the Patriots lost, which will linger for a while. Hola, doughboys. Oh, boy. This has been Espanol. I will try to phonetically get my way through this. En honor al show de medio tiempo del super tazón, les envío esta joda en Espanol. It's not cancelable to speak Spanish. Put a cancel stamp on them. Espera, don't put the stamp on me, Mike. Put the stamp on them, Mike. Mike, don't put the cancel stamp on me yet. Cancel. It's cancelar. All right, you can do that. That's fun. Espero que las haya gustado el show, aunque perdieron los patriotas de Nueva Inglaterra. Saludos desde Panama. Panama? Panama, yeah. Wow, I got something. This is from Alvaro, our buddy Alvaro. Oh, wow. Who included, who's in the Dose Gord, who also included, oh, no, I just realized this roast probably doesn't make sense since you were probably glued to the Turning Point Halftime show for political and taste reasons. All right. In that case, ignore my email and my roast now is, wahwipmyma, a pun on that Kid Rock song. Also pretty good. All the best from other Mexico, as you probably call it. Okay. Wow, this is loaded. Let him cook. How did you feel about Kid Rock's set list? Did you enjoy it or no? It was good. I just wish there was more. Yeah. Really let him stretch out a bit. Did you watch the Super Bowl or no? I watched chunks of the Super Bowl, but the game got kind of boring. I'm not a football guy. Did you watch the halftime special? I saw some of it later, and it's a very impressive production, but I didn't watch it live. Some of it later? Toss that canceled stamp on him. Nick's brother was in a Super Bowl. You've talked about this on the show, right? Have I talked about this? I think I have. My brother was a marching band drum major in high school. And so when Michael Jackson did his halftime show, it was at the Rose Bowl. And part of it was, I can't remember what song he was singing, Heal the World or something like that. He had a whole bunch of kids coming out to cheer him on. And so my brother's job was, the kids were younger, the kids were cheering. My brother's job as a teenager was to be one of like a dozen kid wranglers. So he just had his group of kids that he was supposed to bring up to Michael Jackson. So your brother signed up to be a kid wrangler for MJ. Yeah, yeah. In hindsight, the optics aren't great from that. Nick is the only kid in history to weird Michael Jackson out. That is a very, I mean, I remember that halftime. That's like a very early memory. They had like Michael Jackson clones appearing around the stadium. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Impersonators, not actual clones, I don't think. Yeah, well, yeah, I don't think they were actual clones. They probably were clones. Maybe were clones. That's like a very, that's like one of my, I feel like that's like a very early, one of my first memories. I have a lot of early Michael Jackson memories. The Michael Jackson halftime show was one of your first memories. That can't be right. I mean. I'm just trying to do the math. It was like, wasn't it like 1987 or something? No, I think it was later than that. It was in the 90s because there was a teenager. Oh, never mind then. Yeah, yeah. All right, well, I do remember it. It's possible you started forming memories at age 13. It was 1993. Yep, one of my first. Yeah. I was 11 years old. I was actually 10 years old. That is, all right, so it was an early memory, but I will tell you, I'll tell you, like, one of my memories from childhood that sticks with me is, we've talked about this before, is when Black or White premiered after a Simpsons, oh, right? It was after Simpsons. It was after Simpsons, yeah. And I remember watching that on Fox and it, like, being such a moment. Being introduced to morphing. Yes, the first morph, and Tyra Banks is in that video. I think she's one of the morphs. She's one of the morphers. But there was also Remember the Time. Do you remember when he premiered that on TV? I remember being like, stop everything. I have to sit in front of the TV right now. And then they played that all summer long. I just remember seeing it all summer long. Man. What a cast in Remember the Time video. Do you know what I liked? It was a great cast. Was Magic Johnson in it? He was. I believe he was a pharaoh. Yeah. I'm just thinking of Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy was like the mad pharaoh. Yes. Yeah. Eddie Murphy is one of the stars of it. And then I think Magic Johnson is in it. I'm pretty sure Magic Johnson. Iman. Iman. Iman. Yeah. Iman. Magic Johnson's in it. I also like at the end of Black or White that it's like a morphing thing, and then they're like, all right, cut. And it's like, oh, wait, we're supposed to believe this one person was morphing? Do you know what I'm saying? Do you get what I'm saying? I think that, well, yeah, okay. I'm telling you. That's the fiction of how they depict filmmaking. But I think also, I guess in that reality, one person was morphing. They were like a string thung-like figure. That's what I'm saying to you. And also, Macaulay Culkin blows George Wentz, I think to the African, I think it's to the Sahara, I believe. Yeah. He plays his music so loud. I'm glad there was more to that. The start of that was really suspect. I was so steady. I was like, I'm going to go watch this show. I got an extended cut. I don't know if you guys saw it. He blows George Wendt to the desert. He blows him away. Yeah. Make that a complete thought for sure. You know, whatever. We're having fun. Yeah, we're having fun. We're just a-gooning here. You know what? We're here to talk about, we have a guest here. All right, first of all, I'm going to play a drop. I'm going to get ahead of myself, but I was going to say we have a guest here, and we're in a movie with a guy who maybe rode a train around the Neverland Ranch, in one of our cast members did it. Wow. Okay. That's a little tease. I was like, okay. Hit him with a drop, Emma. Okay, here comes the drop. You said Jemmy was serving cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. Jemmy's a fixture. He's horny. Jemmy is generally nude. Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. He's loving it. We know the horny southern bell. Jemmy's a bunch of rascals. Jemmy's a fucking murderer. Jemmy is eating the cheese. There you go. Jemmy, don't leave us. Jemmy, please. Jemmy. Jemmy. Jemmy. Talking about Jemmy. Jemmy. Jemmy. Jemmy. Jemmy. I love you. Aw, Jemmy, she looked up at the end. Also, our guest is doing great. You're doing some good work with the... Nice little Jemmy. I mean, everyone else usually is just staring dead ahead and then wondering what the fuck is going on. I don't know what it was, but I was giving me, like, Vogue, Ballroom, like, let's go. I didn't know the rules. That was a good one. No, you did great. Not everyone at the dance after. Wow, okay. No. The new rules have established. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Drop-offs the mission, like Jemmy. Jemmy for president, Chris Finke. Oh, that's Finke. Oh, Finke. Finke's good. We do things where we do little drops at the top of episodes. It's stupid. We're sorry you're here. No. Why would you be sorry when I'm not? Well, hey, all right. Give us 90 minutes. You'll feel the same way. Can we circle back to that question you asked? I'm feeling weird about it now. We'll lose you over eventually. Drops of birdfuck.com. Our guest, thrilled to have her on the podcast for the first time, stars in Napa Boys in theaters February 27th, Vanessa Chester is here. Hi, Vanessa. Hey. Wow. I love it. We did it. We did it. Thanks for having me. Oh, my God. What a treat. The first Napa Boy to be on Doughboys. This is true. This is huge. It's a great collab. For the movie, we've had Armin and the other directors. Yes. I don't know what, Laurie, we're going with here. We've had Bug Mane and Armin on there. That's right. And I know that Bug Mane had something to do with the movie. Right. But there's a rumor that they're banned from the show. that Bug Bane and Armin are banned from Joe Boys? Yeah, yeah, from our show. But wouldn't you guys know if they were banned? I was like, wouldn't you guys, like, wouldn't that trickle down from you in a way? But I feel like it would be, like, good heat for the movie for them to be banned and we figure out some way to resolve that. Well, did you ban them? Did you say they were banned at some point? No, I never banned them. They think they're banned. They're not banned. Well. You told them I banned them. That's what happened. I don't know. They were like, hey, you come on the show, and you were like, Wiger banned you. some shit you made up. I do like to use you as an excuse a lot of the time. Yeah, I tell you you can. Why don't you guys just go with their band thing, and then at the premiere, you guys have to figure out a way to put your differences aside to get them on the show. Yeah, I like that a lot. I think I want that to happen at the premiere. And then we'll surely ban them after they do a new episode. Right, they'll do something else bannable, and they'll start the next branch leading up to the next Napa Boys movie. Armin rode the train in Everland Ranch, and Michael Jackson said, I like your ET sweatshirt. He said that to him. That's a true story. I would have loved that train. It would have been my dream. The Neverland Ranch train. MJ waiting for you to get the fuck out of his house. He's like there. I would be there at like one in the morning. He'd be like, this kid has to go. She won't leave the train. It's a safe place. That's what I'm going to say. Congratulations on Navel Boys. I have not seen it yet. I'm very excited to see it. I think maybe by the time this episode is out. This is the last week of February this time? Yeah. This will be out next week. Okay, so right before the release. So fun. But everything I've seen from the movie, everything I heard about the movie, it sounds absolutely batshit in a great way. Like, what was your experience doing Napa Boys? I mean, it was so much fun. It was a little bit intimidating because, if you know, like the cast is an incredible ensemble of, like, people that I 100% respect, Mike included, like my peers that I love, and then, like, comedians that have been in this game for so long. I mean, look, I'm going to lie to him because he's one of the hosts. Let me do my thing, okay? Cut that out, cut that out. No, no, that was good as hell. I'm just kidding. No, don't. Like, you need to be humble. No, I'm just kidding. So, like, it's just crazy. Like, there's just so many amazing comedians that I watch and love, and just, like, working alongside them, it's like, whoa, what the fuck? How am I in the same space as them? And then... Well, you have my biggest laugh of the entire movie. I told you that before, and you're so good, and you're very, very funny in the movie. Let's spoil it. I joke in the movie. I won't do it. No, don't do it. Don't do it. Can I say... Hmm, I don't even want to say anything about it, really. No, don't say anything about it. Just say anything about it. Mitch's whispering a secret. Em and Amelia are saying la, la, la, la, la, while covering their ears. Yeah, I think you could do... There's a music moment. Let's just say that at the beginning, when I was dancing, we get to see a little dancing in the movie. Is that where you're going? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The conclusion is I have rhythm. Yeah. On the podcast and in the film. You play, I mean, you're very, very good and funny in the movie. You're great. You're great. Here's my question for both of you as actors in this film. Go on. Does it make sense? Oh, does it make sense? You know what? I'd say more than you think it does. I mean, the answer is probably no in some ways. I mean, I feel like it's one of those things that it's like a spectrum. Right. I feel like I'm in on the joke, and there's still moments in the movie where I'm like, I don't understand that. Like, I get it, but because there are so many, I think, films that it's inspired by and it takes from, I'm like, if I haven't seen that film, I don't really get the full parody of that show. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some, like, I think what people were talking about, was it Megalopolis? Yes, there's Megalopolis references. I mean, the way I describe the movie is that if Sideways had made a bunch of American Pie movies. I'm sorry, if Sideways continued to make movies like American Pie that went straight to DVD. I mean, I wore my hoodie just so you have reference to all of the – they made it now four movies, but it sticks when we wrapped. So this is like how there were the American Pie Presents films in the early 2000s that were direct-to-video. I'm going to make you guys see this whether you want to or not. No, please. That's what's your rules. This hoodie that has all the list of all the titles of the Napa Boys films. And a little bit of cat hair from Pepe. Wait. That's my cat, Pepe. Mine's got Wally and Irma hair all over it. It's so ridiculous. How do they get there? I have it everywhere. It's insane. Also, my mom and sister are coming to Nightwags at 11 p.m. And hold on. I got to show you. I'm getting rid of all these. What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm getting rid of all these notifications so I can show this picture of Wally and Arma. Stop. I've got tuxedos, too. They're crazy. I love them. How old is Pepe? Two and a half. He's a Gemini. Oh, my God. He's a motherfucking Gemini. Oh, he's a baby. He's such a Gemini. That's Gemini's full name is Gemini. Oh. Is she a Gemini? She's a rescue. She came with a name, so we don't know, but we made her Gemini. Her birthday that we celebrate is June 1st. Okay. Wally and Irma are turning 10 this year. Whoa. How about that? But cats, they live a very long time. I already talked to him. I was like, you don't get to die for like 15 years. I already was like, you already know the path. Yeah, yeah. It was like, you will get as many little like yums and treats as you want, but I was like, I got to be at least 60 before you roll out. Wally and Irma got to hit. They got to hit. They need to hit 20. Mm-hmm. or some bad stuff's going to go down. That's just a threat to the rest of the world. So everybody wants to keep Wally and Irma alive. The cat guys are like, no, dude. No, dude. They need to hit 20 and Mitch, you need to hit 50. I mean, that is a great point that the cats are, I mean, Wally and Irma are probably more concerned about me than I am about them. They're very cute. I mean, right now, my cleaning lady is there. She's great, and they're locked up in a room and terrified. Oh, they're so mad. They're very upset. What's Pepe like? What's his disposition? Oh, my God. He's so friendly. Wow. I don't think cats are – do they protect people? Are they known for security or anything? I read a thing recently that said dogs protect our physical world and cats protect your spiritual world. 1,000%. I like that. 1,000%. 1,000%. Yeah. Like, Pepe just showed up on my door. So I was, like, walking down the street, as people do. I saw a black cat and was like, wow, I would look so good with a black cat. That was my thought. Never owned a cat in my life. Two days later, the cat is on my windowsill. Whoa. I'm like, what the fuck? So naturally, I go and buy Friskies. No, this is his mom, Jet. And I named it after, like, a pistol. Jet Black. Jet and then Onyx. She brought her friend Onyx. I had, like, Friskies. And for like two months, these two black cats would follow me around the neighborhood. And people would be like, bruja, because that's witch in Spanish. And I'd be like, thank you so much. And then I came home one day, and there was a litter of kittens on my lawn. And I was like, wait, she was pregnant? But she was so tiny, I had no idea. So now that's how I ended up with Pepe. And my brother has Phil and Lil, his sisters. And then two of them got in suit. Oh, my God. I got through with it. Like, yeah, it was a whole thing. That's beautiful. It's wild. Yeah, I went from no cats to six. It was not fun. To six. why I took in the mom and the five kittens. It was a fucking mess. Wow. And I was a strike captain at the time. I was just like, wait, like, how much can I carry on my shoulder? Strike captain right next to you for the WGA. Oh, nice. Okay, nice. When a cat follows someone home, it's a cute story. When I do it, I'm a creep. At least you finally get it. Where did you, during the SAG-AFTRA WGA dual strikes of, I guess, three years ago now, 2023. We're about to go back into it. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no. I know. It's super exciting. Everything's so bad. Just constantly something bad is happening. Oh, God. So you're like, but where, because we were all deployed to various studio lots, where were you stationed? I was at Netflix. You were at Netflix? I was at Netflix. Yeah, I was strike captain there. And then I was like, I'm pretty in with SAG. Like, I'm pretty in. I was like on the strike committee. Oh, wow. I just talked to the board. Hell, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to like. Thank you for your service. You were saying some good things earlier about how I get actors more involved, and I agree with that. Just show up. It's one of those things. It's time. You have to. All of the studio zeks show up for their fucking negotiations. We need to do the same. Especially fucking Netflix. Well, I won't get into it. I've gone off on Netflix. I was like, I don't need to crash out on your podcast. Oh, I know. Is that the direction we want to go today? I started making fun of Ted Sarandos for a big stretch at some point and calling him a big redheaded, bald piece of shit, even though he's not redheaded or bald. I was literally like, he's redheaded? No. I was like, who is that guy I was seeing in Deadline then? It's funny to insult someone by making up qualities they don't have. He does. I like a lot of redheads. I have no, I like redheads. Why was I going after redheads? I don't know what I was doing. Kind of reminds me of like a blockhead from Gumby. You know what? He is a fucking, he is a blockhead from Gumby. That's what he is. He's a fucking blockhead from Gumby. They're all blockheads. Suck Pokey Dick, you piece of shit. For sure. That's exactly the next thing I was going to say. Yeah. Blockhead asshole. Did you say Pokey Dick? Yeah, Pokey is Gumby's mate. Oh, Pokey from Gumby. Yeah. It sounded like you were saying Pokey, like Hawaiian cuisine. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. But I knew what you were talking about. Pokey is the horse. Pokey is so good. I thought you meant Pokemon like Pokemon and you've been to Port Bansel wow so many different poke like prefixes I just don't have poke on the brain all that often I'm thinking about I think about poke a lot I like poke a lot too you know what happened there was a stretch where I would get what was the place that we did the Sweet Fin Sweet Fin I would get Sweet Fin like all the time and I haven't done it in a while I feel like all I did was eat sushi and like raw fish and fish and then one day I was like I guess I've had my quota for life I would have sushi at least like every other day or like two or three times a week. And I'm like, I don't remember the last time I had sushi now. Like maybe I detoxed from it. My body's good. What was your favorite back when you were indulging? I love a good like salmon skin over like rice. Like I just love fatty fish. Like that, I could be good with that. And then you can, you know, add all the rolls. I love some eel sauce, sriracha, but nice little, like I love just sashimi, straight up fish, tuna, all the things. I'm closing my garage door just so everyone knows. Why was your garage door open? You shouldn't even start it. You should have just closed the garage door and come back to the conversation. I couldn't have even given us context. Because when I tell you, I was like, he's probably still just doing something. He's just swiping away notifications. And now I'm like, garage door. Now I have to know. You're managing properties. The cleaning lady has left, so my garage door is, I guess. The easiest exit, or maybe she was parked in your garage. The easiest exit is right there. Yes, yes, yes. That's all it was. Where was your front door? That's the thing I've never figured out. Why are you asking this question on the podcast? No, no, no, because I'm just saying, like, when I've been to your place, I've always entered through the garage. And I'm like, you've got to have a front door for this place, but I don't think I've ever seen it. Yeah, you know what? I'm going to keep you down in that garage someday. A little trap. I was listening to one of your episodes earlier, and you guys were talking about where you record, and you were like, don't get us doxxed. It was the Locklumb episode that you just did, and now you're talking about his front door. Come on. Where is my front door? What type of fucking question is that? The studio address is public. You can Google it, and it'll come up. If you're going to kill Nick and I, come to the studio. Keep it clean. I feel like you said that in that episode, too. Oh, yeah, I probably did. They say this on stage. But also, too, who wanted to join a soccer team? I remember someone being like, it was like resolutions, and someone was like, I want to get on a soccer team. Oh, I think that maybe was Vic McKellen. It was Vic, I guess. Vic McKellen was our guest. Okay, I thought it was Vic. And I was like, did you make it? Like, I remember, I was like, you want to be like, who got on the soccer team? You play soccer. I do. Well, I'm trying to get, I want to get a co-ed team together. Like, I used to play when I was in high school. I played soccer and softball, and I need to get a certain amount of physical energy out of my body a day. I sleep better. Yeah. I walk 10,000 steps a day, and when I walk less than that, I don't sleep as well. And I was just like, remember? You've got a lot in confidence. Strike captain, 10K a day. Exactly. I just sleep better. I just whatever. And I was just thinking about it. I was like, I miss playing sports. I miss being competitive. I miss doing that. And I'm trying to get my friends together. We used to have a co-ed softball team, and we would play, like, in Burbank. I'm like, let's get soccer together. We could just, no rules. We don't have to keep score. Let's just, like, run around and be friends. That rules. But I know my friends will get competitive. Right. We're in the comedy world, and there's so many. Well, you know what? There's a few people who play. I think soccer is actually probably the thing that's closest to it, but there's, a lot of people are dorks. I would have loved to have played, like, softball at some point, but I don't think I could have gotten anyone from the comedy world to play it. Or anyone. It seems like no one likes it. I don't know. I didn't like it. I think I was on it, but then I was like, why am I playing this sport? I'm just going to commit to soccer now. Soccer is good just for the activity. Like, you are getting that physical activity. It's just like cardio, but with some kind of purpose. Yeah. Not just running aimlessly. You know the big guys going in goal, though. You know, that's where I'm going to be. I'm going to be goalie. No, you could be fullback, too. Okay. Yeah. I like that. You could be goalie. Also, I'll probably just be on the sideline. You're angling for goalie, because you know you can be sedentary there. I'm hanging over the guy next to the orange slices. Yeah, but if it's a good team, the goalie is doing all the work. Wow. I think that there is something to, when I was younger, running off the field from soccer and eating an orange slice, and it maybe being, like, the best bite I've ever had. Like that, like, juicy citrus. And my mouth just started watering. Like a juicy citrus like that when, like, when you're running around and craving it. I don't know. That's like, well, Paul Russ has said this before, but, like, Paul Russ also in the movie. so funny but uh he's like water like if you're if you're extremely thirsty water it can drinking cold water is like the best sensation you can feel like going through your body and you're like i'm coming back to life 100 i would always eat i had like a thing after soccer practice i would get do you know like okay born in brooklyn huge ice cream truck girl so any like even la when you can't really find them if there's an like an ice cream truck around i will purchase something just for funsies. Right. But after school, after every soccer practice, there would be a soccer truck. And do you know those, like, chocolate eclair ice creams? Like, the popcorn? I'm trying to picture it. Okay, let me just pull this up because this shit is bomb, okay? He actually looked that up. I think Paul did say drinking cold water is better than coming. And I believe that was a poll. Yeah, I'm glad we got content for that. I don't have, I don't know, I can't compare the two. Mitch, I got bad news. I can see what Vanessa's doing on her phone. She just opened your garage door. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That's the whole point. Why don't you get in there? Check what's going on. They're still cleaning. Cap got out. Isn't the chocolate with Claire, like the good humor, sort of like the strawberry one? These ones. Oh, yeah, I know that. I know that guy. So I would eat one of these and a chalupa from Taco Bell, like, and a Mexican pizza after soccer practice. And in my, like, in my mind, I was like, this is what makes me so good. You burned it off. What was I doing? I was just, like, eating canola oil and dairy sugar and then running around the track. But here's the thing. Mitch and I were matching you or probably well exceeding you calorically in terms of garbage we're eating as children, but we're also not exercising. Yeah, we're just sitting here moving our mouths. We're just like playing video games. Yeah. So. But, I mean, Knuckles burn calories, too. Don't. Now you're speaking my language. And when you say Knuckles, do you mean Sonic's friend Knuckles, or do you mean your accent? Oh, my God. Like, if I could, like, I had such, how can you have a crush on a video game person? Oh, does. Like, I literally had a crush on Knuckles when I was little. I was like, that's my guy. Yeah. I would love for Knuckles. I would love for Knuckles to beat the shit out of me. Sonic the Hedgehog feels... To protect my honor. Because there's so much, like, Sonic the Hedgehog, like, erotic fan art and fan fiction that it's just, like... I think the characters of that franchise... Around 70% of it drawn by you. Yeah, yeah, I'm responsible for a lot of it. I think it did sexually imprint on a lot of kids. I think they're just, like, for whatever reason. I don't know. Maybe there is, like, a latent sexiness. I mean, I see it with, like, Rouge the Bat. The only, as you know, my only, I mean, we don't know what you're talking about. Amy Rose? I mean, I know of these characters. Yeah. Like, I genuinely know of, like, Rouge the Bat and Amy Rose because of you more so than anything else. I never, I don't think I ever played a Sonic that Amy Rose or Rouge the Bat were in. Oh, you don't know Espyo the Chameleon? I do know. Again, because of you. Charmy B. Charmy B. I know all these things. Because, you know, like, Gruntilda is my video game. Right, right, right. There hasn't been really another. Gruntilda? Gruntilda, or Grunty. Hot Grunty, as she's called. It sounds like you're maybe a Sega family. Huge, huge love Genesis. So on Nintendo 64 was where Banjo-Kazooie lived and their arch nemesis Gruntilda. Yeah. Okay, see, when I was playing, I think at 64 I was playing, like, was it Wave Runner? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was a fun game. Wave Runner was fun. So, like, how? Speaking of Michael Jackson, the Moonwalker game for the Genesis. Do you know that? Oh, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, hold up. Okay, did you just moonwalk? There's a level where you're Nate Weiger and you have to corral kids towards Michael. That's a bonus round. I love bonus rounds. That's the best part. I think Moonwalker for the Genesis was a side-scroller, and you were kind of loosely going through environments from the Moonwalker extended short film. You were throwing your hat at people. I believe you were killing them. Yeah, you were in a smooth criminal outfit. But the arcade game was more fun, and there were multiple Michael Jacksons in that, of different colorways. We talked about multiple Michael Jacksons more than once, which is crazy. What's going on today? For like one lifetime. For one lifetime, that's been fucking sane. We did it twice in like 30 minutes, which you have to unlock a special achievement if you do that. I don't know. That's video game talk, bro. There you go. You mentioned you're from Brooklyn originally, but you moved out to L.A. pretty young and kind of grew up here. Yes, yes. So I started acting in New York doing commercials. I did Sesame Street. Whoa. Thank you for that gasp. You've got to tell us who did you meet. Who was the scene with? Oh, I did it multiple times. And it's funny because I was like, they're a black girl. Thank you. Like, I remember I did an episode, and I'm, like, sitting on a stoop, like, with my pigtails, like, hell yeah. Like, I'm missing kindergarten because of this. And they were, like, in the scene, they're like, and Vanessa's black. And I was like, like, yep. Like, they said my name. And guess what? And the whole thing was about, like, different colors of the rainbow. And I was, like, the go-to black girl. It's kind of crazy because it didn't destroy my childhood at all. But, like, I was on set watching, you know, like, two people walk into the Snuffleupagus outfit. And I'm like, oh, shit. Like, Snuffleupagus is two people. And then I'm, like, watching Oscar the Grouch. And it's just, like, a stagnant set. And then someone, like, walks underneath, like, the trash can. And I'm, like, I was really excited. Like, I was like, oh, my God, I'm learning all, like, the Sesame Street magic. Like, I was fully game when I was little. It wasn't anything that was like, Mom, why? It's not like you said Sesame Street maga for a second. I got very nervous. No. No. To put that evil into the world. They're so mad that they talk about, like, people existing in many ways. I'm like, no, they've been about it since I was in it because I was the go-to black girl on Sesame Street. I love Sesame Street, and it does, I think it's now on Netflix, which makes me sad because it was on PBS for so long. Yeah. But were the performers nice to you? Were they talking to you as a character and stuff like that when they were in there or no? I don't remember. I feel like that happened. I don't think they did it off. I think it was very much like I really pride myself as a six-year-old as being professional. Okay. Let her have it. I was going to say, you're a great actor. But you've always been a very – we'll get into this in a second. But you've always been a very great actor. Oh, thank you. But, like, I was just more so, like, okay, cool. Like, I'm glad I get to be here. I just was really excited to observe. And everyone was really nice and, like, they played with you. But, like, I think once I realized, like, oh, it's just a bunch of people doing puppets, like, I was like, okay, cool. So we're all just here, like, doing our jobs, right? Yeah. Just doing it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they probably have kids who work and show business a little bit or something on the show or whatever they're used to it. But I remember when – was it us? Oh, no, I think it was the Birthday Boys when we opened for Triumph. and I saw just a deflated Triumph. Is that Conan's? Yeah, Conan's dog. I was like, wait, I know that guy. I just saw him like sitting there empty by himself and it made me so sad that I was like, you know, Triumph is just kind of like, yeah, he's going to be, you want him to be alive. I want him to be the guy. But that is a dream. I love the Muppets and I love Sesame Street. Yeah, so started there and then my manager or agent at the time was like, you know, we think Vanessa should go out to Los Angeles for pilot season. And that's where, like, everything happens. I was, like, six or seven. I have no say in the choices. Like, I could be like, I don't want to act. But I did want to act. So they were like, let's try this. So the point was to go to L.A. for six months for pilot season. I ended up booking a commercial. Then I booked my first Barbie commercial. And I was like, I'm raised by a single mom, not a lot of money. She immigrated from South America. Like, very humble beginnings. and I used to like stand in Toys R Us and FAO Schwartz and like look at toys and just be like, I want that, I want that. Like trying to figure out how I could save enough money to get that with what job, I don't know. And I remember I booked this Barbie commercial. We go to Mattel. They have this huge store that's just filled with Barbies. And they're like, congratulations on booking your Barbie commercial. Feel free to pick one Barbie as a thank you. And I was like, what the fuck? and I turned to my mom and I was like mom am I gonna get a free toy every time I book a commercial she played it so fucking well she was like I don't know and I was like say less say less I literally booked like 11 commercials like I literally was like so you're telling me I get to eat candy which I'm not allowed to do at home I get to get toys I was like I'm gonna book fucking everything so I did I booked like 12 commercials in the first year and and like I'm making money but I was just like I like you going out for you being like I want to go out for this like a specific toy commercial that you want like the toy up and then I remember like Double Mint so do you remember like the Double Mint commercials or any sick commercial like how they would put the gum in in a very choreographed way right I remember going on my first gum commercial and they had you stand outside before you went in and do like gum rehearsal so you could learn how to put it in because I guess in like the 90s you had to like look a certain way when you ate gum cool it's true for all the young people out there. It's true. Homogenous gum eating was the way to go back in the 90s. And I figured it out and I was so proud of myself. And then I ended up booking A Little Princess and that was like the first movie I did. And then my mom was like, why would we go back to New York? Like, she's like, it's the best weather and it's great. And you have a career. You're being a quick success. Yeah. Also, by the way, can I just quickly say, Mattel, give more than one Barbie for crying out loud. You know what I mean? Also, you were living the dream. Sesame Street, Barbie, you were knocking it out of the park. Oh, yeah. I also booked, like, a Jell-O commercial, which I was, like, and it was, that was, that was, that's when I learned about professionalism. It was a Jell-O commercial, and the, I was just, like, a background. I was not the star of the commercial. I was just, like, there. And the little boy who was the star of the commercial, like, was super difficult. Like, he just wouldn't do anything. And I just remember the director turned to me, and he was, like, do you want to eat Jell-O? And I didn't even think. I was, like, yes. Like, I was just like, yes. And they were like, she'll do it. Like, they were like, we don't have time for it. We're on set. Like, we don't have time for him. Was he crying or something? He just, like, wouldn't listen. He wouldn't, like, he just, you know, like. Kind of like me on the Napa Boys, basically. Absolutely. Actually, I was trying to think of a reference, and I was like, there's a recent one. It was you. So, Mike. I'll show you on Doughboys. Oh, yeah, that too. I don't want to be here. Nah. Next episode, I'm the new host. Like, that's just how my career. That's how my career keeps on just expanding is that you just take other people's jobs. Emma gives me a Barbie and I stop crying. But, yeah, that was it. I was like, cool, I get to eat Jell-O because this kid wouldn't listen. There's one. Okay, so there was one big role that I want to talk about that you were in Lost World, Jurassic Park. Nick and I, I mean, there's nothing cooler. I mean, that rules. you kicked a raptor in the face there was a big moment in JP history you kicked a raptor in the face were you a gymnast? I actually did do gymnastics before that was one of my extracurricular activities as a child but obviously they wouldn't let me do it because they were like hey insurance but one thing that's great about besides a lot of things one of the things that's great about being in a part of the JP franchise is like amazing die hard fans And a couple years ago, a fan was like, hey, so, like, do you realize that you're one of the only people in the franchise to kill someone without a weapon, to kill a raptor without a weapon? And I was like, cut that back real quick. And he was like, you're one of the only humans to kill a dinosaur without a weapon. And I was like, the way I will never forget that. And I will spread that lore everywhere. And I'm like, it's true, because I do, like, balance beam, and then I, like, kick him. and then, I mean, he's impaled from something other than me, but I kept it classic. Still, yeah. I mean, you killed a raptor, which is also amazing. Also, I was saying this beforehand, but Lost World is a good movie, and I think time has been very good to it. I like the first three Jurassic Parks. I think they're all fun. Yes. I like most Jurassic Parks. I think dinosaurs are fun. I'm a world skeptic a little bit, but I like the first three. Yeah, a little bit skeptic. And the last two I really didn't enjoy, the Locust movie and then the Scarlett Johansson boss fight movie. Oh, yeah. Did you see the Scarlett Johansson one? I did, yeah. What was like I was going to be like what was it about But I guess it dinosaurs and chaos It dinosaurs They kind of they kind of it is kind of back to the basics They have to like get blood from or like some serum from three like a land one a sea one, and an air one. Yeah, it's Avatar. It is. Honestly, it is very Avatar. Yeah, yeah. Shadow of the Colossus, as a video game reference, but it's like, it's, but the thing is, they're doing what the bad guys do in Avatar 2, which is harvesting the, you know, the fluids of a, you know, like a rare species to accept human life. Yeah, and these are the heroes. Yeah, yeah. Look, we were just... I didn't watch it tonight. I mean, it's interesting. There's some okay action in it. I think that... You guys are being so nice. You're like, it's okay. It's got some fun. And, like, as you shrug, I'm like, You guys are nice. I didn't love it. I was actually nicer to it than some of them. I like the second Jurassic World of all the ones that came after them because it's weird. How many worlds are there? There's three. There's now four worlds. Oh, yeah. I love that. As someone who's in the Jurassic Park franchise, I love that you don't know this. It's hard to keep up. They make them too fast now, we were saying. The last one, the Scarlet one, came out on my birthday. And I remember, like, two weeks, my birthday is July 2nd, for anyone who wants to get me anything, I'm a Cancer. I remember seeing, like, the promo, like, two weeks before, and I was just like, there's another one? Like, it came out of nowhere, they promoted it for 15 seconds, and then it went away. Yeah, it was, they go too fast now. They need to take, like, a 10-year break, or at least. Even though, I don't know, time goes fast now, so maybe it even was that long between the last one and whatever. It was also a huge hit. It was, like, one of the biggest box office successes of 2025. Well, Jurassic Park fans will show up. They will, yeah, yeah. That's one of the things that, like, the most loyal, so great. So, like, even out of curiosity, even if they're like, we don't care for this, I think curiosity. They just want to see it, see how it stacks up with everything, and then, you know. All right, I got questions. So, go. One, going back to the last thing, how was the jello you ate on set? Two, was it, oh. So, two, how was the catering on, just the experience of doing that movie, how was the catering on set of Lost World? Do you remember the food being good? And also, was it shot, where was it shot? Hawaii? Or did they shoot some of it here? Okay. Jell-O was bomb. How could Jell-O not be good? It's also- Or the flavor? It was red. Okay. I'm going to go with strawberry or cherry. Hell yeah. Probably cherry if I liked it. That's my favorite Jell-O. Do you have a favorite? I'm going to guess your lime guy. Or clear Do you just like the gelatin? You like plain clear Jell-O? So you just like gelatin? Yeah, just like the texture of it I just like knowing I'm eating a good bite You get a package of Jell-O and you don't put the flavoring in You just make the Jell-O? No, I don't remember I think honestly it was probably red as well I think that's what my grandma would make Red was the only flavor you liked in the 90s Red Kool-Aid, red Jell-O It's just red I was kind of blue too I got news for you. Red still... Blue is really elevated. Yeah. Blue is... Is blue... Hmm. I think, to me... Who's up there? Red is... Red is still king, I feel like, in a lot of ways. Hmm. Is red... Red versus blue... And then what's even next? Green? We're like... Are we talking about just jello? I'm like, all flavors. I started thinking about Kool-Aid. Like, Gatorade, Kool-Aid. I'm saying, like, any artificial... Like, for me, artificial strawberry and artificial cherry are my favorites. No. Strawberry. I love strawberries, but artificial strawberry is whack. But I'm also someone who hates watermelon, but will eat artificial watermelon. Artificial water... Why is it hard to say? Artificial watermelon. Artificial watermelon. We've literally done this before. You said waterfacial watermelon. Artificial watermelon. Artificial watermelon. Waterfacial watermelon. It's like a vocal warm-up. Artificial watermelon. Artificial watermelon. Yeah, yeah. You put them together. I love artificial watermelon. Artificial strawberry is my favorite overall. I like strawberries. We talked about this recently, but I'm like, strawberries sometimes just let me down. They just are not as... They're not in season right now either. You know what is interesting is artificial blueberries. Who the fuck came up with that flavor? Because they taste nothing like blueberries. They do not. Someone was like, what if we just made it a little bit more interesting? It's like the essence of it. I feel like you get, like, a smell of it or something, and then you're like, oh, they, like, based it on, like, a smell it can make or something. It's not real. I mean, watermelon, too, is the sort of thing where it's, like, it's very different from. Or grapes. Like, can we agree artificial grape is just so overwhelming? I kind of like artificial grape. I, like, loved artificial grape, like, bazooka and, like, bubblegum, but, like, grape Kool-Aid, I would be like, get that shit out of my face. I forgot orange. I forgot the color orange. That's what I was going to say. Orange. As far as color hierarchy, I think red probably wins. Red, yeah. Blue. I think orange maybe. I think it might even be ahead of blue. I think in my point. Orange might be blue. I mean, blue. Here's the thing that's going for blue. Blue has the Glacier Freeze Gatorade. So there's like a light blue. Yeah, and there's a fun icy that's blue. There's like a couple of good. Well, I'm thinking of the Blue Raz Blow Pop now. Those are good, too. has some good contenders. Red is just so good always. Like, if red, you're covering red, you're covering pink and red. It's all encompassing. I might put pink over red. Pink over red? Mm-hmm. But you're just thinking of pink Starbursts, which are incredible. I am. Because what other artificial is pink? There's Fierce Strawberry Gatorade, which I really like, too. But I always do like... I always like the pink or, like, strawberry or less red candies than I like the dark red candies. Like, I like the, yes, this is true. So you would take strawberry over, like, raspberry or cherry-flavored candy? Yes, personally. Where do you put, so we, we. Red can just be a little too tart for me, I guess. Sure. We touched on purple. Yeah. And via grape. I like purple okay. I put purple maybe above grape, but maybe below blue. Wait, what the fuck? Purple above? Purple above green, but maybe below blue. I said grape instead of green. Okay, so. Is green on the lower end? Green is always on the lower end if it's lime, I think. Yeah. But if they try and green apple it, it can inch up a little. That can be fun. It's a little sour, but. Is yellow bottom? Are we all agreeing yellow is bottom? Well, I like. Because it's banana or lemon. Yeah, I think they're like green more than yellow. Banana Laffy Taffy is pretty shit. I know. Santa Laffy Taffy is bomb for some reason. I mean, this could be a whole fucking episode. I'm like, the colors and flavors, I was like, do you guys have another, like, two hours? Because I could do this. I mean. I'm here now. Look, don't even open that Pandora's box. We will stay and you'll hate it. But it's like Green Apple Jolly Ranchers. Like, I'm going with a Green Apple Jolly Rancher over any of the other colors. Yeah, that's the thing. Roy G. Bidwell, son of a bitch. You've done it to us again. Wow. people are going to really resonate with this I'm telling you the color rankings are I mean like let's put it in the Patreon calendar the color meal rainbow bright rainbow bite roy g bite roy g biv croc what's the croc about what the fuck the founder of McDonald's roy g biv croc I only like that if we get McDonald's, too. Okay, yeah. All right, fine. Yeah, we can get McDonald's. We found the Arch cards. We found the Arch cards. We did find the Arch cards. We found the Arch cards. Which I thought you fucking lost. There was no color in McDonald's. It was like cheese and ketchup. I feel like yellow was maybe the king color of... It's just skin tones. It's just beige. It's just different types of beige at McDonald's. It's just cheese, meat, and bread. And you're talking to two people who do love... We love McDonald's. I do love it. So many McDonald's commercials. Have you really? Wow. So I'm not really an actor, but I did end up at one point doing a McDonald's web ad, and I held a picture Big Mac, and it was extremely stressful. It was like holding a Fabergé egg. And the thing I remember them telling me, I'm sure you have gotten rumor from a specific direction in terms of presenting McDonald's food, but they were like, every time it's pointed to the camera, we have to see three points of cheese. They're nuts about it. Yeah, they really are. Food commercials are nuts. Yeah. Yeah. But what were the McDonald's spots you did? I did one, like, when I was younger, where they had this whole campaign where they were, like, trying to make, like, slang for McDonald's. And I don't remember what my word was, but the word implied getting the longest fry out of the box. And so the whole video, like, the commercial was us being like, whoa. Like, so they made some, and it was just, like, nuts, because they've got the people on the side. They're like, okay, we've got the star fry coming in. and it's, like, all these fries that are, like, seven inches long. And then I did a coffee commercial. I'd work security for the star fry. Actually, I remember that because I'm remembering this spot. The slang term for the long fry was the reverse Mitch. I was like, wow, he really – I was so, like, gullible in there and wait. And then I was like, oh. Yes, yes, they called it the reverse Mitch. Except girth is perfect. I was having fun saying I'd be the security guard for the fry. I thought it was fun. I didn't think it was that fun. No, fuck you. I thought it was fucked. Every Doughboys episode has two points of cheese, right here in the left and right. And then I'll be the third for this one. But, yeah. What, you didn't like that? I did like it. You said aw. I thought it was wholesome. You gave me a smile. I liked it. I don't like it. Why are you crossing your arms? I'm not happy with you anymore. Wait, hold on. We do. We're going to hear more about, why are you crossing your arms? I don't know. No, I'm not happy with you. I can't believe I'm in the middle of all this arm crossing. This is so stressful. I'm crossing negative energy. This is so stressful. Like, just kidding. And then a coffee commercial. And that was really tough. Which, for what company? For McDonald's. Oh. You're just drinking coffee all day. And I don't drink a lot of coffee. Like, I was out of my mind. I don't think I felt for like two days. Like, after. Wow. Because they just were like, you got to keep on. and drinking and drinking, and they just keep on refilling it because it has to look perfect for the... I was out of my mind by the end of that. That's wild. Yeah, it was not. We've had that with Doughboys episodes where we've done coffee and we get jittery. I'm not a coffee drinker just in general. Well, I'm like, you know, speaking of coffee, I got myself a cup of joe here, and to me, it was by necessity. We had Amelia do a coffee run because we ate these big heavy sandoes, and I was just like, I'm going to fall asleep during this fucking episode. I'm going to have to go to the bathroom. Okay, we can figure that out. It's fine. Shut up, everyone. Okay, you're a human. You want to go now? No, I don't care. Fine. It's fine. Okay, it's fine. Do you need to go to the bathroom? No. Do you want to break now? Now or later? Okay, don't hold it in. I feel like I have to do like a potty song. Yeah, potty. I'm going to get a Barbie doll for you. Take your potty. Take your potty. Mitch, do you want to go to the potty? Should we do an intermission? Okay, you want to take a little breather? Let's do a little... Let's do a little Doughboy moment. Actually, you know what? No, I think the moment's passed. Okay. I think the moment's passed for now. The fuck did it just, like, reabsorb into your body? It happens all the time. It happens all the time. Oh! It happens all the time with him. It's fast. You almost shit yourself on the plane. It's true. You're a fellow IBSer. I know. You know what Amelia says? I have to shit. She actually shit. I just do it. I feel like I have to go, and then you're like, just kidding. False alarm. I can't tell where I'm at right now. But I want to say this. Before we do that. I'm just thinking of all the different, like, sayings my brother has for, like, having to shit. Like, turtle heading, like, prairie dog, mud butt, like, all those things. That's what happens when you have a younger brother. Touching cotton. Touching cotton. It's like touching your underwear. That sounds like something that would be. That sounds like turtle heading. No, it sounds like something that would be nominated for an Academy Award. They're like, touching cotton. You should just write that movie. Like, touching cotton really just, like, put me on a new trajectory. And then everyone else sees it and they're like, it's about it. Amelia Wins in that Academy Award for Tusting Cotton. It's so real. It's so real. Ron Howard directed it? You should write that. And Michael Bay did all of the specials. All right. All right, Mitchell, we're going to take a break. We'll be back with more Doughboys. Hey, buddy, if you love great food but hate cooking or cleaning, listen up because this just made my weeknight meals about ten times easier. This podcast is sponsored by Tovala. Tovala is a smart meal delivery service, fresh meals, and a smart oven that does the cooking for you. Tovala makes it so easy. You can just scan the meals QR code, pop it in the oven, and it cooks everything perfectly. Wow. Steams, bakes, broils automatically. No guesswork needed. You can save up to $300 on the Tovala Smart Oven when you order meals six-plus times by heading to tovala.com slash doughboys using our code doughboys for a limited time. Tovala's meals are chef-crafted and taste just like homemade meals you'd make yourself just without all the headache. Plus, all of Tovala's meals are made with real, fresh ingredients. Wags, I got a Tovala oven, and I love it. You can order some healthy, tasty meals online. They can deliver right to your door. You scan it, you pop it in the oven, and it's ready to eat fast. I love it. Yeah, people are truly legitimately obsessed with Tovala. Wise, it saves me an hour every single night. Wow. And Tovala's smart oven isn't just for their meals. You can also use the oven to scan store-bought groceries like Eggo waffles, Pillsbury cinnamon rolls, and Amy's frozen meals, to name a few. And it knows how to cook them, too. Wow. If you're like most people, Tovala is great because you can eat better without putting in a ton of effort. There are high-protein options, calorie-smart options, gluten-free options, comfort food, whatever you're into. With Tovala, you can finally remove dinner from your to-do list. And wise, we got a Tovala oven right here in the HeadGum Studios. Wow. And we use it to heat up some meals if we want them. For a limited time, because you are a Doughboys listener, you can save up to $300 in the Tovala smart oven when you order meals six plus times by heading to tovala.com slash doughboys and use our code doughboys. That's up to $300 off when you head to tovala.com slash doughboys and use promo code doughboys. One last time, that's Tovala, T-O-V-A-L-A dot com, and make sure you use our promo code Doughboys for up to $300 off the Tovala Smart Oven. Remember, with Tovala, dinner is taken care of. Hey, buddy, are you tired of waking up hungover and worrying about what happened last night? Now you can have fun and relax without any of the regrets with Willie's THC-infused Social Tonic. Willie's gives you that social uplifting buzz without breaking your goals. Willie's is a premium THC-infused social tonic crafted by the legendary Willie Nelson. Willie's social tonics are low-calorie, low-sugar THC drinks delivering a fast, euphoric social buzz without regrets. Available in 5 milligrams and 10 milligram doses, they offer a smooth, balanced flavor so refined you hardly realize you're drinking THC. Enjoy as a shot, over ice, or in a mocktail, unlike the risky edibles that got you too high in college. Each bottle of Willys is a third-party lab-tested for accurate dosage, ensuring a safe, customizable experience. Their unique blend of THC, CBD, CBG, and L-theanine provides calm, clarity, euphoria, and relaxation. One shot of Willys helps you relax, unwind, and de-stress. Perfect for taking the edge off at the end of a long day or socializing with friends, Willys offers the kind of feeling that makes good company even better. Willie's sold out three times in the first six months with over 50,000 plus happy customers and they just restocked. Willie's ships directly to your doorstep in 40 plus states. Order now at drinkwillies.com and use code Doughboys for 20% off your first order plus free shipping on orders over $95. And enjoy life in the high country. And you know what? I got a bottle sitting at my house for whenever Emma swings by. All right, we're back. We are here with Vanessa Chester talking Napa Boys and Giada, today's chain. But before we get to that. Are you going to ask me about how my bathroom experience was? We're going to ask you that, Mitch. We're going to get there. Okay. All right, fine. How was your bathroom experience? You know, it was unsuccessful for quite a long time. But then, oh, Amelia, you put your head down. You were very upset by this. but then River of Dreams came on and Billy Joel sang that turd out of me. Because I walked by and I was trying to figure out which restroom you were in. That's mortifying to me that you were even within a hundred yards of where I was. We were all right here. You were totally fine. But did you hear Billy Joel through the... I just was like, there was no green or red on the door to figure out which one was vacant but the music, I was like, oh, he's in that one. But then I started being like, I want to know more about this, but then you gave me context. It's a very echoey bathroom, and so I play music when I'm in there. But it helped. It had some positive side effects this time. I love that. You always do, like, if you want to, like, really evacuate. So, I mean. I mean, here it is. They've got to do something about this damn bathroom. It's too echoey. Look, look, there's plenty of problems with the headgum echo toilets, but Vanessa just identified another thing I'm not usually thinking of. The external indicators are not nearly obvious enough. I think they only work sometimes. I think they only work sometimes, and only one of them I think you can actually see the red. Right, yes. So also, too, if you're going to drop some kids off at the Super Bowl like you just did, what you need to do is just lay down a little sheet of toilet paper or two, and then you're going to completely get rid of that little plop. If you're trying to get rid of the plot, you don't want that puddle. No, that's a good damn thing. So you just need to put, like. I need a silencer, too. Yeah, that's a silencer. I need some sort of silencer. Instead of. You drop those kids off at a Super Bowl. Or Cubs. Drop the Cubs off at a Super Bowl. And they cheer on Michael Jackson. Nate pushes them towards Michael Jackson. He just comes out of the bowl. It's like, why are you everywhere? How? How? I like Nate. I think that should be the new term is Nate Weiger is escorting them through the Super Bowl. I think that's the better. That should be the new saying for taking a shit. Escort the Cubs to the Super Bowl. I then a big Italian song came on and I was wondering. I was wondering. This is this is the type of song that if you play like at a wedding and there's Italian people there, they go nutty for it. But I know you know it. All right. We might have to mute this. I won't even play it. but Luna Meso Mare, do you know that one? Can you sing it? It's like, I mean, it's in Italian. It's like, lazy Mary, get out of the bed. It's like something that you'd be like, yeah, now we jump in a circle. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah. Love cultural weddings. Okay, so Vanessa, we were, over the break, we were talking about how you have not been able to locate the Barbie commercial you were in that you described. Yes. So there weren't a lot of black Barbies when I was younger. And Mattel came out with a Barbie called Shawnee. And she was like urban and cool and like really pretty. Like I was very obsessed with this doll. I booked the commercial. It was very like crisscross hip hop adjacent. Like I remember being like, she's got attitude. Like that was one of the lines. And I cannot find that commercial. I've been looking for it for years. For years. Wow. Internet, help me. It's Shawnee. Her name is Beach Street Shawnee. It's a black Barbie. She was cool as hell. My outfit's really bright, and I do a little hip-hop dancing in it. Wow. All the action. You nerds. I know. Instead of complaining about our episodes, find this damn commercial. Spoon Nation, Burger Brigade, unite and find this commercial. And then you can complain about my episodes. Sure, yes. You can do it first. Post it and then put a complaint afterwards, but give us the video. That's all we want. No part before the horse. Find the commercial and tell me how shitty it was. Just do that. How do you spell Shawnee? S-H-A-N-I. Thank you. That's important. There you go. That's smart. They're going to figure it out. I can't wait. We'll find it. It's so exciting. Going back to, I asked you how the jello was, but your onset experience for Lost World, were you, did that film here or did it film in Hawaii? And then also, do you remember any onset eats? What? I like it. No, I'm glad that you remembered because actually crafty, craft services for those who don't know, those are the people who provide the meals on set. There's catering and then there's craft service. And that's like the food that's on set all day long. There's just like a table. Everyone refers to it as crafty. What do you like more, catering or craft service? Crafty. Like love. I'm a catering guy over craft service. Because I'm less of a snacker. You're less of a meal over team snack. Oh, I'm team I want to eat all day long. Like, I want to be, like, I'm one of those, if you. A grazer, as they call them, yes. Okay, cool. That felt really right. Okay, thank you so much. Like, Dear Diary, I didn't know. I'm a grazer. But now I identify as a grazer, and, like, that's it from now. I'm someone, like, if you walk into my house, like, refrigerators always stop. And, like, I will judge you if yours isn't. Because at the end of the day, it's like, I should, even if I just want to, like, open my fridge and just be reminded there's food, Like, I should always be able to grab and eat something. I like the convenience. Yeah. So I think that's why crafty speaks to me. And also, if you've got good crafty, they're basically giving you little mini meals throughout the day. But you're more of a catering guy, I would guess. Yeah, I'm more team meals. But I will, like, sometimes there'll be a toothsome snack over there at that craft services table, and you just can't resist, you know? What are you hoping to see most of all? For me, it's very comforting. I think it's more of a comfort thing when I see red vines. Like, if I see a jug, because I feel like that's always been, every single set since I was young, there's always a huge jug of red vines. And I'm like, okay, we're going to be all right. I agree with you. That's like my totem. Yeah. You know what's funny is that I think in the last, like, seven, I don't know if this is budget reasons, I don't see as many red vines. They don't do it. And I'm like, I know those are, like, $10 at Costco. Like, should I just show up with them? I don't think anyone would complain. I, I, Christ, when actors have to start bringing craft service for the fucking day, it's going to happen at some point. After that, negotiations, we're just going to have to, we're going to have to actually bring the food and serve it on our break. And happily do it. Yeah. Like, we're working. Yeah. I'm paying to be in this, but we're working. I'm acting as a caterer and an actor. Yeah. Was there, was there some specific stuff during Lost World that you, like, that you were, like, uh, do you just remember the food being fantastic? Yeah, I just remember the food. Like, that's one thing that I've learned is, like, you can tell the budget from the food. And even though I was young, like, I can't remember specifics because my brain is not there anymore. But it was great. Like, I was all, like, if they ever needed me, I was hanging out by the craft service table. Like, either looking at gum. I think it's just, like, I've always been a huge fan of, like, buffets and a lot of food. So I think just that much food that I could just eat. Like, you would think that my mom has never fed me in my life, the way that I act around buffets. Like, Sizzler was my shit growing up. I only like cruises because of the 24-hour buffet. Like, so craft service to me, I'm like, oh, you've just got a baby buffet. This is my safe place. That's where I am. And you got Jeff Goldblum and Vince Vaughn, two gum guys. I think of both of them as gum guys. Why is that? Because Jeff Goldblum's Chews It in Jurassic Park. Okay. And Vince Vaughn's Chews It in Swingers. got it it's like Brad Pitt but he's like a real gum guy Brad Pitt is a real Brad Pitt's a gum guy you're questioning the gum guys I think for Brad though like if you look at Brad because I text him like that he and I anyway I think that food is his like crutch for acting like he's always eating in movies whether it's gum or like there's something but there's definitely some oral fixation. And I don't know about you, but sometimes when you're doing a physical movement, it makes it easier to actually do the scene. 100%. You know, maybe it's because you're, like, distracted doing something physical, but he's always eating or, like, unpeeling a banana. He's always doing something. And I'm like, that's his thing. I mean, so often when I look at myself at a scene and, like, my arms will be down by myself, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, you idiot? You need a tick. What's that? You need a tick. Yeah. Well, have a little tick your alley. And I'm just like, my nose. You're a crack-my-knuckles guy or something like that. You're a toothpick guy. That's the name. You're a toothpick guy. You're a toothpick guy. You're an Edward G. Robinson. You just start fucking, like, fucking crazy. Our city is that dumb. Yeah, exactly. That probably could just happen. Yeah, they're like, I don't know. Like, he just had a toothpick in his mouth, and then all these characters popped into my head. Like, that's... Brad Pitt isn't eating. He isn't. He is. And he's a gum guy. There's gum guys. I'm convinced there are gum guys. I just wanted clarification. Gum guys. There were two guys... Spinoff, Doughboys, and then mini-episodes of Gum Guys. Oh, man. If our podcast became Gum Guys. Just mini-episodes, mini-sodes, Gum Guys, people are like, no. If we spun off to just try gum. We did a gum episode once, and people said it was unlistenable. Too much chewing. Too much chewing, yeah. Oh, yeah. And some people, that's like, it's like the end of the world for them. They have misophonia. I immediately, what? Misophonia. We've learned that there's a disorder people have called misophonia, and that it is real. And it's like, and it's chewing. Emphasize on the phony. They get mad at us when we make fun of it. I believe it's real. I do believe. Yes. We were making fun of it, and I do believe it's real to be. We believe it's real. We believe it's real. It's real to us. It's real to us, damn it. It's not going to be real until I Google it tonight at 3 a.m. That's when I'm going to be real. When I have to open seven tabs, like, okay, fine, fine, fine. I hated, when I was younger, I hated, oh, I still don't like it, when someone would bite their fork. So I get. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get some misophonia stuff. I get it. You don't care? I don't like the fork stuff. Yeah, the fork stuff I don't like. Yeah, see? So there's sounds. I get some sounds. Nails on a chalkboard. I get it. I get it. I'm like if someone's cutting something on their plate and their knife, like does that squeaky on a, you know what I mean? Yeah. And I have long COVID, which is the number one thing people don't believe in. So misophonia is second to that. And I want to know that. I want everyone to know that I believe in misophonia. But good food. Big Steven's going to take care of the – he's going to make sure a crafty's good. He's so bomb. What was it like working with Steven Spielberg? Oh, yeah, I guess that's probably a better question than how was the craft service panel. My mom's like, how's the podcast? I'm like, they didn't give a shit about anything I did. They really cared about the gum flavors on The Lost World, which I don't know why we spent 30 minutes of the podcast on it. We are the two fat asses that if we visited the Jurassic Park, we'd waddle over to the craft service and be like, cool, look at this stuff. and there's a giant T-Rex behind the wheel. I went trick-or-treating at the craft service. I was working on Halloween and showed up in full-on costume and just took everything from the craft service table. I was like, these are my rules now. That rule. But everyone was so happy. They're all adults, and it was Halloween, and I showed up in costume. And they're like, yeah. They took a second to watch my costume. Everyone was great. So I met Quick Story Time. I met Steven Spielberg. The first movie I did was A Little Princess, and he has a daughter named Sasha and he brought her to the premiere. At the end of the premiere, like, you know, it's like, yay, we're doing the meet and greet and the talk and everything. And he came up to me and like kneeled down as like respectable adults while talking to kids will do. And he was like, hey, I think you're such a good actor. I think you're great. I'd really like to have your autograph. And I, you know, luckily I didn't know him as Steven Spielberg, Steven Spielberg. So I was just like, oh, cool, really nice older guy that everyone's freaking out that I'm talking to wants my autograph. And as I'm signing, he's like, I'm going to put you in a movie one day. And I was like, okay, sure, you know? Wow. And then three years later or whatever, I get a message like, DreamWorks would like to meet with you for the second Jurassic Park. And I was like, holy shit, he was not lying. Like, homeboy kept his promise. Well, not yet. I hadn't booked it. First audition was just me meeting with him, like in his conference room. At DreamWorks. Yeah, like I just was like sitting there like... 12 and a half years old or something like that and he just like comes by the way it looks like Jurassic Park I was in there once it's insane it's crazy and he's like walks out of another room and he's just exactly what you would think like baseball cap flannels jeans sneakers and he's like hey Vanessa so what's up and we just like chatted for like 45 minutes he's like what are you doing and I was like eighth grade like I'm literally learning about World War II and all of that which you know he's very passionate about he gave me like 82 books and videos on it and was like learn and I was like I will I will but I was like very like oh my god I'm so like not fascinated but like perplexed by this moment in history like give me more to read about and then didn't hear from them and was like okay I guess they're not into it and then they're like we want Vanessa to come in and do like two pages of sides with Jeff Goldblum and I was like okay like didn't really know who he was like I thought it was Sam Neill like I didn't know which Jurassic Park guy it was and just me, Steven, on, like, a camcorder and Jeff. And then we do the scene, and he's like, okay, cool. Now, Jeff, pretend you're a raptor and chase Vanessa around the room. And I was, like, prepared for everything but that. That's so fucking funny. Chase, have you chewed on his gum? He was like, hold on, let me get some devil mint. And then he got into camera. But I'm like, wait. Like, you know, like, I'd worked with an acting coach, all this stuff. I'm like, cool, I did the, like, the script part, we're done. And did not expect that improv. And, like, Jeff is out of his mind in the best way possible. Doesn't even skip a fucking beat. He's literally like, and I'm like, what? Like, I'm like, oh, I don't even get a chance to think about what I'm doing because Homeboy is the same fucking height as a raptor. And it's fully, like, imagine Jeff, who, like, just is the biggest kid. he's like, he hears an action, and he just immediately crouches down, hands up, and is like, and I'm like, oh, my God. I'm actually like, this guy is fully a raptor. Like, chasing me. I'm like, pushing chairs aside, and Steven's just like, on the other side of the oval table with his camcorder, like, and I'm like, this is so crazy. Now that I'm looking back, I feel like I was outside of my body watching Jeff chase me around, and then month later. Hey, any Doughboy Sluice, they can find that video, too. I know. I wonder if it's, like, in the archives somewhere, because that would be incredible to see. Like, I'm sure there's a minute in the video where I'm like, what the fuck? And then I'm just going to be scared. I'm not going to book it if I don't get scared. And then, God, it's even the best. Like, he is really good with kids, but the thing that I really love, and I say this in a lot of interviews, is, like, he understood that I was a child but also didn't treat me like I was immature or didn't have, like, a sense of self or identity. and I felt like I was able to collaborate. And I know that sounds crazy, but as actors, we have strong, I think, visions of what our character is like. We think about it. And, like, I remember there was a scene where he came out, and he was like, okay, so Vanessa, at the beginning of the scene, I want you to come out and start crying. And I was like, no. And everyone was like, oh. And he was like, okay, like, why? And I was like, well, I don't think that she would cry in this scene. Like, if she did all this, she's brave enough. She's not going to just start bumbling and crying right now. Like, I just don't think that that makes sense, you know? And he was like, okay, cool, no crying. And I was like, wait, what? I think it's because it wasn't like I was just like, no, I don't want to cry. I had a reasoning behind it. Like, there was intention. Like, no, I don't think that my character would do this. Like, and he was like, cool, I respect it. Like, just. That rules. Yeah, he was amazing. So great. And I ran into him at E3, like, a couple, like, years ago. And I was like, hey, hi, it's me. And he's like, holy shit, you grew. And I'm like, well, you know, puberty does occur. I did do that. It's my latest role, puberty. What were you doing at E3? Oh, I was working. I used to work an event marketing job. I don't remember who I was working for exactly, but I was there with some company. Because you told us before the record that your brother works in the video game industry. So I was like, oh, okay, there's another gamer connection. I mean, we have like sibling Sundays where we just like play video games. it's it's we get along well what's your go-to these days um i've been playing i play a lot of clash royale oh okay yeah i'm like very into it's really funny how video games will make you delusional because i'm like i could be an army general like the way i'm like i've got strategy and i'm like i like your phone your phone game are you a phone gamer most of all yeah my brother actually just gave me his switch and so now i have like all the consoles he's like he was like here he just like handed it to me and i was like it's got everything on there and he was like and he knew i would get excited he's like yeah there's like genesis super mario 3 every and i was like wait all my favorite games i was like i'm not gonna fucking do anything for the next month and he was like i know i just got a new one have fun the switch too which i got as well i think that's what he has i'm like i don't understand the difference i just play super mario while watching true crime uh living the dream before before every doughboys episode weiger says to me he's like, I don't think you should cry this episode. And I'm like, no, I think I'm going to cry. Yeah. It usually happens. And then I usually end up crying. And then I usually end up bawling at some point during the episode. Well, actually, it already happened. You cried like a baby when you had to take a shit. I've got to say this. Steven Spielberg has a great eye because you were great then and you're great now. You're a great kid in Napa Boys. And I hope it leads to a lot of great stuff, too. Yeah, it would be cool. Like, working is pretty sick. I like making money and stuff and being in my chosen career and it working out. You're so good in the movie. I mean, so are you. No, well, no. You steal the show. Why don't we just do the last 25 minutes like a compliment? I need this, actually. No, but you're so funny in it. It's been a while since I had read the script, and I just kind of read the script. They changed some stuff, but I didn't read the whole thing. I was like, okay, I know what it's about, and I kind of enjoy seeing it when it's done. And like, oh, I'm kind of part of the audience, too. I had no idea how much your character, like the journey. Yeah, I go through quite a journey in the movie. It's such a journey. It's great. You're going to love it. There you go. Yeah. All you Mitch fans, we know there's a lot of you out there. Make sure you see Napa Boy. Are you a wine head, as they say in the movie? No, I'm a liquor girl. Liquor? Yeah. Same here. I like liquor over wine. What's your poison, as they say? Whiskey. Whiskey. Wow. I love an old-fashioned. Wow. Like, so I generally stick to vodka or whiskey. Like, I call vodka college water because it's just basically that. Like, it's either, like, you can't ever have it again or it basically does nothing because you're just that immune to it. But I love an old-fashioned. Like, it opens up. It gets better with every sip. The Luxardo cherries are the fucking bomb. Like, that's the one. But you can't, I can't have more than, like, three. This is my issue with, a hangover on whiskey, like, is, like, I'm, like, I might die. Oh, it's a different world. That, to me, is, that's, like, when people would do shots of whiskey, it's, like, I can't take, I'm a tequila, I'll do shots of tequila with you all night long. God, when we were in Chicago, and I, I'm not blaming Amelia, but Amelia did want to have a shot of Malort, and I did end up having three shots of Malort. And you were taking half shots, weren't you? You guys are fucking gross. I had one shot of Malort. You're just, like, tequila? No, it's like a Chicago-specific digestive liquor. Yes, all that. It's into like a Fernet, but it tastes like batteries. It's great, but I only wanted to do one, and then Wags was like, You said it tastes like batteries. Let's do another one. Oh, that's why I instigated it. Is it like in the licorice world? Who instigated the third? I think it was Wags. I mean, I believe you. What did you say? Is it in the licorice world? Is that what it tastes like? Yeah, a little bit. No, no, no, because I like Zambuca and stuff like that, and it does not taste like Zambuca. I think Furnette kind of has a licorice-y sort of minty vibe, and I like that, but the... I can have, like, a molecule of Furnette. Malort has an aftertaste of, like, a putrid grapefruit to me. I don't know why that's what it is. It tastes like batteries. It tastes like batteries. It's not good. Sorry, Chicago. It's good. And also, after you're third door, you're like, I don't think I do like that. I mean, you were fucked up at this point. Well, that's because it could have been tequila, and I would have said that. Three shots is a lot, no matter what it is. I'm not a licorice girl. But there's, like, a whole thing about licorice. Like, it's, like, licorice, fennel, capers. Like, I don't like any of those things. Like, capers are so dumb. My dad, I don't love capers either. They're just, like, rejected olives. I don't love them. My dad would hide black jelly beans in his underwear drawer. Unless they were little turds and he was just covering it up. Just dropping. He was touching cotton, as Amelia would say. But that's the thing. I was like, none of us like black licorice. Like, it's not... It's generational. It is a generational thing. My mom likes black licorice, too. But, yeah, I've never been into it. But I do like Fernet. I've got to text your mom back. My Lord is... What's that? I've got to text your mom back. Yeah, do it. She texted me. I forgot to text her back. What did she text you about? I don't know. It's private stuff. Nothing to hear about. You don't know her as well as he does. To know about the conversation. It's getting close. Yeah, you don't know. I'm sorry. Your mom texted me because she said sorry about the Patriots. She was actually being nice about the Patriots. You guys were talking. You were going for the Patriots? Yes, but to be clear, they're called the New England Patriots, and this is long before. The name of the team I can control That all I want to say That wasn even like my like the name was not the thing I know you didn like it was more about like everything they stand for I just surprised you haven already inferred this from Mitch physical form as a caricature of an Irishman. Wait, you said you were from – He's from Boston. You're from Quincy, Massachusetts. I love your bloody head in. I'm from the Boston era, so it's Patriots country. I love the Patriots. You're wearing a Boston Celtics hat right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I loved the Celtics when I was younger, but it was just because I liked Kevin Garnett. Oh, hell yeah. I just thought it was super cool. But he also reminded me of Earthworm Jim. Remember that video game? Yeah, I certainly do. I never made the connection between KG, the big ticket, and Earthworm Jim. But now you never won't. Makes a lot of sense. I like it. And also, he's a good actor. My brain works in a very odd way. It makes sense to me. Sometimes I say it out loud and it makes sense to other people. After Uncut Gems, put Kevin Garnett in the Earthworm Jim live action movie. Did the Earthworm Jim creator, he's bad, right? Didn't it turn out he was bad in some way? I think he is. I have so much stuff to Google tonight. I don't know if he's bad. I think Earthworm Jim creator is bad. I think it turns out he's bad. Here's a question for you. They should put you in the new Jurassic World at one point when Goldblum came back. You should have made a cameo in there. Yeah, you know, that would have been cool. It would have been cool. I think that there would have been a lot of fans who would have liked that. Yeah, the fans would have. I get a lot of messages about, like, this is the best. Like, I probably get, like, a DM once or twice a week. Like, why won't you be in another Jurassic Park film? As if any actor gets to decide what they're in. And I'm like, oh, that's so cute. Well, I'm putting it out there just like you were going after the toy commercials you liked. I had a whole idea for, like, Kelly coming back and, like, basically, you know, her prime on the island scarred her. She kind of, like, follows in her father's footsteps and she goes into, like, ethical, like, DNA and genetics and, like, all of that. Like, there's so many worlds that I just, she could come back. And it would be easily the best Jurassic World movie ever. I think it would just be so great if they had Kelly come back and with her dad. Like, just the banter of the two of them could be so much fun. And here's the thing. If Kelly's going to be a successful scientist, she's going to need an Igor. Get Mitch in there. You piece of shit. I was like, aw, what's going on with the plot? And I was like, oh. So, like, the universal monster Igor. It is a universal property. Yeah, well, there you go. So I would be like, hmm. Like, I'd be like. That's good. Oh, that's good. That's a good audition. I can't wait for Steven Spielberg to have me act like Igor in his room. You get an offer on Monday. Did Jeff Goldblum chase me around like Frankenstein? You're going to get an offer. Watch. Offers only. The story you told about Lost World was incredible, but what amazes me a bit there is saying that I want to put you in something is just so often such an empty promise, and then three years passed before it actually happened and he lived up to it. It's remarkable. I have all of my journals and diaries from when I was younger and it's in my journal from when I was nine and I wrote in it like I met Spielberg today and he said he's going to put me in a movie. I have that written down. It's nuts. It's nuts. The FBI has most of your journals, right? They're manifestos, Mitch. We're talking Jada today. Hey, also, by the way, you're going to see Spielberg's new movie this summer. He's got a new Alien movie coming out this summer. I feel like I just learned about that, but what is it called? Is it Invasion or Something Day? Isn't it like a... Something Day. Something Day. I think it's Something Day. Declaration Day? No, it's not... Disclosure Day. Disclosure Day. I wasn't far off. You weren't far off. But Declaration Day... Disclosure Day? I knew Declaration Day was wrong because it's a bad title, but Disclosure Day. Disclosure Day. I think it's like where you learn that aliens exist or something. It's like what the... I don't feel like Disclosure Day is a great title. Steven? Steven? I'm like, here goes my chances of being in the next draft tomorrow. She's got too many strong opinions. She's listening to Doughboys on the Pelotons. He's like, I was going to give her another chance. But I will cast Mitch as Igor. All right, we've got to get into our... We've got to finally talk food here. Jada Italian sandwiches is what we're talking about today. Jada Neighborhood Deli is its official name. Before we started, you had a take on Italian food that I thought was interesting. Oh, man, I'm about to get so much hate DMs. You don't have to do that. No, I want to. Why are you setting you up here? No, I'm into it. Let's go. I said it. It's out in the world, ten toes down. He wants to replace you in Jurassic World. I might be polarizing unpopular tape, but I think that Italian food in America is better than Italian food in Italy. It might be what I ate in Italy. I know that I am the variable, but I remember not being as blown away by Italian food as I expected myself to be. Wow. As a supporter of the patriots, all I can say is USA, USA. I think that there's something to this. I mean, I think that you also, like, there's bad food in Italy. You know what I mean? There's a lot of shitty food in Italy. And I've had a lot of great Italian food in the United States and America. You know what it is? I'm a big seasoning person. Like, my parents are Caribbean. I grew up on, like, curries and dolls and, like, really intense flavors. Yeah. And I don't even need it to be intense. I just like flavor. Like, I want a little bit of salt or pepper. And some of the places I went to, like the mozzarella, beautiful, neat. Everything is incredible. But, like, I want a little, like, sauce. I want a little, like, jus or something like that. So I know that maybe the places that I was picking might not have been the best. But, like, when I went to Spain, I was like, I think of the food in Spain, like, every day of my life. I had some good eats in Italy. I'm not going to lie. I think it might be neat. I did. But also, I've had a lot of great Italian food here. and I like, we were saying before, we like this stance. I like the thing. I've never been to Italy, so I can't speak to that. But, I mean, like, I think it's highly possible. You'll never go to Italy. Because you've never crossed, he's never crossed the ocean. But Italy, like, is Italy even on your list to go? But you've never left America? Or I've been to Canada and I've been to Mexico. So you're just so north. Yeah, I've never left. And Hawaii you went to, which is kind of. I did go to Hawaii, yeah. I mean, just as far as, like, going over the ocean. Right. Wait, question. Is this, you don't want to? Like, what's the. He's not a big traveler. I'm not a big traveler. Can't leave the country. I can't leave the country. Claustrophobia on a plane. Yeah, but I mean, like, I struggle with it even when we were, like, flying from Chicago. But I think over an ocean, there's something about that conceptually that really stresses me out. And I think it's, like, a mental block I need to get over. You don't have to. Lost. A fear of getting lost. Yeah, a fear of getting lost. Wait, wait, say that again? A fear of getting losted, like ending up in a lost type scenario. Or cast away. Or cast away. Would you... Or send help. But are you okay with boating? See, that's the thing. I'd be interested, because I have gotten seasick when I've been on boats before, but it would be, like, if I could get on a long sea voyage, crossing the ocean, that sounds kind of fun. Where do you get Captain Phillips? It's just the idea of, like, skiing over water. Right. Yeah, I think it's the idea. And I know it's, like, it's irrational, but... No, it's not. Phobias are irrational, you know, so... No, because you're like, oh, me, a person without wings up in the air. Right. And that down there. Like, we know how gravity works. Yeah. It's not crazy. Like, I'm just always like, I better go out. You know, it's like a little bit of, like, caveman thinking, but it's fine. I'm just like, I better die immediately. But I also, like, have, like, survivor DNA, so I don't think I will. I'm afraid of dying all the time, and I also, for whatever reason, think I could survive in situations like that, and I don't know why. I think my brain just thinks, like, I'd be all right. You know, I probably would be fine. I have a feeling I would survive if, like, the world ended and there were, like, 50 of us. I'd be like, fuck. I don't know where that weird confidence comes because I have no other confidence at all in my life. But I think I would live. I already know. I think I'd be killed immediately or have a chain around my neck. I don't think there's a world where I'm, like, thriving in an apocalyptic way. I don't think I'll thrive, but I think I would survive. Like, it would be like, who made it? And I'll be like, oh, shit. I made it. And now I've got to repopulate the world with my green thumb. Like, I know what my role is if we have to rebuild society. Like, I'm going to plant stuff. Yeah? Oh, wow. I'm going to provide. Like, I'm going to get us groceries through the ground. Wait, you have a green thumb? Oh, hell yeah. Wait, do you grow your own food, your own herbs? I love growing. Like, right now I'm trying to. It's like attempt number 300 of growing an avocado plant from a pit. And we've got, like, a little root right now. It's been, like, four weeks. But I also think that there's something really, like, great about growing your own food. because the ease and commoditization of grocery stores has us very disconnected with food. We don't understand how much it takes to get that orange to there. Like, it takes 16 gallons of water to grow a single orange. 16 gallons of water. A lot of water. Yeah. No wonder why they're so juicy on the side. I mean, they just absorb all of that shit. But then we, like, throw away things so easily. So I'm like, I don't know. Growing food is also really nice when you are making a recipe, and it's like, get some oregano and this and that, and you're like, oh, I literally just have it in my backyard. Let me just pick some fresh herbs. You would be good for the apocalypse. I have no skills either in that way, so I'm not. You'd make us laugh. Yeah, I'd make you laugh, and I'd get you the comfiest chain I could find. I'd have a little tag that said Weiger on the bottom of it. We'd decorate it. You'd be out there jester-gooning. I'd just be plain old-gooning. Emma Mealy, how do you think you'd fare in an apocalyptic world? Man, if I was keeping you as a pet and I had to wake up when you wake up to take you to the bathroom, like if you were my dog and I had to fucking take you outside at whatever, 4.30 a.m. or whatever. Not that early. You wake up, he's a 5, you wake up at 5 a.m. a lot of the time. I sometimes wake up at 5 a.m. What time do you go to bed? Usually pretty early. I mean, I try to have my bedtime as be 10.30. Oh, God. That's so amazing. That's like real adult shit. Yeah, I guess so. I don't know. Uh-huh. Yeah. But going to bed the same time. I've literally never been able to do it in my life. You've never seen the podcast, but... I woke up... I went to bed even late. I went to bed very late last time. I don't want to say what time. I fell asleep watching who knows what. Woke up at like 12 and was like, okay, cool. Made some cookies. I'm not joking. Made some cookies. Played with my cat. Watched a true crime. watched a little bit of the Olympics, did some dishes, and then set the dishwasher and was like, great, everything will be ready when I wake up in the morning. You've listened to the podcast, but you've never seen it. Nick will put on a nightcap at some point during the episode. I will, yeah. And I'll get a little candle on a plate. You mentioned cookies. What kind of cookies did you make? Oh, just chocolate chip, like straight from the roll. That roll will get the job done, though. And I've also, I've been, I've eaten so much cookie dough in my life, I don't know how I haven't died. Like, I've eaten so much batter and dough over the course of my years. And, like, so I get, like, a big roll. I probably eat, like, at least one spoonful of just cookie dough before I actually make the actual cookies. I made four large cookies, done, ate one on the way here today. One left at home for later and another dough. Like, I don't know how to make them from scratch yet, but once I figure it out, it's over for you motherfuckers. Cookie dough and buffalo wings are the two things that make me feel very old. I can get that. I thought you were going to say you like them together, and I was like, that feels like indigestion. Those are the two things that I've seen the rise of in my lifetime. Like, I know buffalo wings were invented. Oh, cookie dough. I was going to say, like, because chocolate chip cookies, there's no way that's the case. No, not chocolate chip cookies, but, like, cookie dough ice cream and things like that. I saw those explode. You saw it, too. Yeah. Buffalo wings and chocolate chip cookie dough. I'm like, that makes me feel old because I think to most people they were around forever, which they have been around longer than the 80s and 90s. But in the 80s and 90s, you saw, like, the explosion of them. That's when, like, Buffalo Wild Wings was coming to prominence. Wingstop comes a little bit later, you know. I remember having, I've said this before, but I remember down Cape Cod having a Buffalo wing for the first time and being like, what is this? This is good. And that is, like, an insane thing to think about. I can't remember which pizza chain it was, either Pizza Hut or Domino's, but I remember one of them specifically adding Buffalo wings and that being a huge thing. I think it was gotta be, gotta be Domino's Buffalo Wings. Yes, yes, that sounds right. I don't remember a time where I wasn't eating, like, but maybe, are you, like, specific to Buffalo? Is that, like... I remember eating wings, like, all the time. I was definitely eating wings, but I think what Mitch is speaking to is the idea of it being, like, kind of a banana. Because a lot of, like, Buffalo Wings is, like, 60s and 70s, right, in those places in Buffalo, right? I don't think it was before that, though. I think it was 60s, 70s that the wings came about. And then in the 80s, I remember eating my first wings. And reaching mainstream awareness. Yes, yes. Also, we're both from Southern California, and you're from... No, I was born in Brooklyn. Oh, that's right. That time, yeah. You talked about then. Yeah. Like, I remember when I was little, like, it's also funny how, like, when you're younger, you're like, there's only three flavors of ice cream. There's vanilla chocolate and strawberry. Yeah. And then, like, cookie dough came out, and then cookies and cream, and I was like, we're putting cookies with ice cream now, guys? Like, Ben and Jerry, they're my heroes. It was so huge. Are you creative? I'm the person who buys cones and ice cream and makes myself cones at home. Wow. And my mom's like, that's so cute. You're, like, trying to save money. I'm like, no, this has nothing to do with money. This is all about convenience. Like, I want an ice cream cone, and I don't want to leave my house to get it. I never realized how Doughboy's coded you are. You ate a cookie before you came here. You make your own cones. Oh, God, no, I don't make my own cones. No, well, yeah, I guess, yeah. You were like, she rolls them out and makes the roll. I was like, no, no, no, no. I'm buying a 12-pack. I can't keep ice cream in the house, but I envy you. Because I just, like, love ice cream. It's my favorite dessert. That's why you just make a cone. Like, you have to, like, you make a cone, and it's like, you can make as many soups as you want, because you're an adult, and it's your life. Right. And so I usually do, like, two awful, like, flavors, because we want fun. Man. Generally vanilla-based. Like, I love a vanilla-based ice cream, chocolate-based if we're talking cake. Just wanted you to know that fact about me. I was going to say this. You bring chocolate and vanilla into the color tier that we were talking about earlier. Well, it would just be brown and white. So, well, I mean, but brown and white, those are pretty strong. I mean, for me. Well, are we thinking them in terms of candy or are we thinking in terms of all, like, pan flavors? I think pan, I think all over the board. Well, that's, to me, a different conversation. Well, now, hold on. What do you mean? Because now we're thinking, like, we're comparing a Jolly Rancher to sour cream. Like, what are we doing? Okay, no. You're being out of control. Oh, my God. Ew. I didn't even think about all the things white could be, like, mayonnaise. Yeah. Rice? There's a lot of things that could be. Well, I guess what we have to do, since I'm part of this color key, now, like, we have to make a color key. Yes. So, it's like, colors are obviously flavors. But brown would be, but pudding would be brown, like, if you're talking about, like, right? If we're talking in terms of Jell-O, if we're just saying, it's what pudding is in there. It can still fit into the conversation. Yeah, to make a little pretty high. Brown would be Coca-Cola. I mean, that maybe raised it to me to the top of the fucking tier list. Coffee? Coca-Cola? I don't drink Coca-Cola. I do like coffee. Oh, my God. I only drink Cactus Cooler. Oh, hell yeah. That boosts yellow all the way up, then. A Cactus Cooler. Or orange? I only drink Cactus Cooler and ginger ale, which is, like, so, like, stereotypically black of me, and I'm fine with that. I saw you sneak a Fanta earlier. Hello, orange soda all day long. Like, yes. Orange soda's great. The experience you had with sushi and oversaturation is what I did with Cactus Cooler when I was younger. Because I was having a Cactus Cooler, like, every day. And then it reached a certain point and was like, I'm just kind of having this. Like, you had your quota for the last time. Yeah, exactly. And I'm just done. Orange soda shoots orange so up the list, too, by the way. Wait, say that again? Orange soda shoots the color orange so far up the list. Huge. Huge. I feel like you'd have to do, like, a drinks category, a savory category. But I do kind of like. Maybe a sauce category. Yeah. Don't you dare even bring sauce into the coffee. He said sour cream. I'm very passionate about sauce. I will fight you. No, I love sauce. It needs its own category of colors. But I do like the fact that if you have all the categories, it makes it, like, the stakes are so much higher. Right. Like, it's so much higher. Different colors are going to be within different categories, for sure. I didn't even think of pudding, but then it's also, like, coffee. Yeah? I'm such a chocolate dessert person. I love a chocolatey dessert. So that puts it pretty high for me. This will have to be a follow-up episode. We'll do, we'll figure out a name for it. Let's talk about these stupid Italian flavors just so Amelia doesn't get mad. What? What color is Giada? You know what? I would say red. That's a red. I would say red and beige. Is this the first time you guys, like, agreed? Ever? In life? Maybe. What did you say? Red. I think you're wrong. Okay, so. So Giada was founded in 2020. There's six locations, sandwiches and wraps, pretty simple menu, and it is takeout and delivery only. I had it for the first time during the pandemic. Vanessa, you've never had this. Today was the first time. And Mitch, you've had this before. Frankenstein's a hunk now, too, I'm just realizing. Yeah, there's a hot Frankenstein. There's a hot... You called me Igor earlier, and then Santa's a hunk, and now Frankenstein's a hunk? Who's the hunk that's Santa? Oh, yeah. Well, Jacob Elordi is a Frankenstein. I just love that. That was fun. Oh, there's so many hunks that are Santa. They cast all buff guys as Santa now. They're all... Like, as if Santa gives a shit about being rebranded. That's so... J.K. Simmons was recently... He was buff Santa. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. The Travolta Capital One commercial is so not it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even know how to classify that one, but that is also... It's infuriating. It's infuriating. It's so not... We didn't need that in 2025. Anyway. No, there's a lot of... Santa is going all... Santa, they're just... They're being very loose with the casting of Santa. Santa's in his hot maxing era, or does it look maxing? Look maxing. Wait, you've had Giada before a few times? I've had Giada a few times. And back here, back at the dais, first off, how would you feel like you fare in an apocalypse scenario? I think I would kill myself. You think you'd kill yourself? Really? I think I would survive because, same, I feel like I wouldn't want to be there. But, like, there's something in my instincts that are like, no, girl, you're going to be there. But I don't think I'd want to be. I don't think any of us would be like, no. I'd be like, yeah, I want to, like, fix the earth. It's like, no, just beat me up. But I think I would probably be, like, outside growing stuff or something. I also have, like, a little hydroponic garden in my office. Oh, really? Yeah, I have oregano. and like oregano it's not weed I did think about growing weed I was actually thinking of putting weed in my emergency kit it's the vegetables that's actually such a great idea but it's not more it's not for me because like it's like imagine the world is done and you're high and there's no food that sucks that does suck but I was thinking for bartering sake like I was like I was like I'm going to put a pack of cigarettes and some weed in my emergency kit because I was like tobacco right I was like the way that people would be like take my whole cow. I'd be like, we got milk, y'all. For a cigarette. I thought this, too. I really am into end-of-the-world apocalypse. We could go on our communes. That's assuming that the sun is still out. That's true. It's a nuclear winter. I don't know. Me and Nick just standing outside of your guys' commune, not getting let in. I mean, women would take over. The world would end. It would be very quickly a matriarchy. We'd be like, finally. Yeah, it's about time. And I'd be like, go, ladies. I'm an ally. He's staying around his bed. He's like running. We're like, Shane's not long enough. Emma, you've never had Jada before. No, I've never had it before. And Amelia, you said, let's see if I have the quote here. I have a lot of thoughts about Jada. Yes, that's correct. You sing, man, I feel like a woman for the ladies when they took over? Yeah. Let's go, Maya. The next line. So, okay, so we've got to get into this because you started side texting, Mitch. Who initiated this? We decided that. It was mutual. You're frantically side texting each other while we're eating, seeing if you were on the same page with Giada. We have something to say about Giada. We have thoughts on Giada. Yeah, and you guys couldn't keep them in. We didn't want to influence anybody. Yes. But we wanted to see if your thoughts were the same. Yeah. Can we get any of the transcript, or do you just want to loosely recall? What if we say our thoughts first and then see if it reflects? Great. Because what if it still affects us? That's a great point. I agree. Smart thinking. Here's the thing about John. I've had, the first time I had it, it was because they were getting, we kept getting the fucking Instagram ads, and I was like, fuck, these sandwiches look so good. And it was during the pandemic, and you get nothing to do but eat. And so we were like, we ordered them, and I remember getting them. No, actually, I went to pick them up because I thought it was a restaurant, and then I went there, and it was a ghost kitchen. And, you know, it was like going in the evidence room of a police station. It was, like, really industrial and really – like, and so – An experience you're familiar with? I've been in a few evidence rooms. And – but I brought the sandwiches back, and they looked so fucking good, and I remember biting into them and being like, okay. And I feel like that's perpetually my experience with Giada is that I have a lot of anticipation for it, and then I get it, and I start eating it, and I was like, all right. You know, like, I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just saying, like, it doesn't knock my socks off in the way I expect. Because you eat with your eyes first, and my eyes are watering. But once I start, once I actually, like, put my mouth on this thing, I don't know. I was just like, okay, this is a good sandwich. You know what I mean? I have a thought on why this happened, but I would love to hear your thoughts on it. I'm a big sandwich girl. Like, my friend literally got me a book that is a chapter book on sandwiches. It's like breakfast sandwiches, lunch sandwiches, dinner, and dessert sandwiches. Wow. That's the chapters. It's fucking great. Love a sandwich. I... This is not my favorite sandwich. It's not bad. So I had this spicy... Pee. Pee. Which sounds like a really shitty rapper. I had the Spicy P dropping in November. Okay, cool. So that album. I had the Spicy P, which flavor-wise, good. Yeah, that's like a 2001 rapper. Yeah, Spicy P. You're like, oh, you use Auto-Tune. That's really new. Cool. You know T-Pain. Tight. And then I also tried the Caprese and the Philly Steak. I just wanted to try all of it. I tried all three. I think the issue is the bread. wow wow stop no wait that's why i knew i was like just let us say what we have to say wow because okay as someone who loves the caprese yeah that is not like the caprese is already it's not bland like caprese's are so delicious for its simplicity that bread takes away from the caprese it's like the sesame it's too like it's too fibrous i need like here's the thing i I need, like, water. It's also a little hard to bite through. It's very easy. My sandwich, like, splooted because I couldn't bite through the bread. But the issue is I think that that style of bread is very good, but it has to be crispier. Let's describe the bread because, you know, a lot of it is about that. It's like a braided roll. It's like a sesame braided roll that you want it to be actually crispier than it is, but it's kind of, like, spongy. It's a little bit spongy in a way. I think it's the, like, surface area. Like, it needs to be, like, there needs to be more bread. Like, since they're, like, tiny, it's, like, I don't know, because it's, like, I'm thinking crispy. Like, would crispy help it? I don't know. It's, like, you try to bite into it, and it's almost as if it's stale. Like, it needs crisp. I think it needs crisp. You have to, like, rip it apart with your teeth in order to separate it. Like, I was struggling to cut through it with the knife, get through the bottom of it. I'm fine. I was sawing on the table. Like, I think I'm okay with that. Like, I'm okay with, like, a little, like, I'm going to, like, an animal texture type thing. But, like, that was, like, when I tried the Caprese, I was like, oh, the bread is what threw it off for me. Which, it wasn't as. Oh, man, on a vegetarian sandwich especially. Exactly. I think that's what it is. I think the bread is so powerful, like, standalone that it would need more blander flavors inside of it for it to stand out. But it was, like, too many stars. I didn't like the Philly cheesesteak, though. Like, I didn't like that at all. It's too, the Philly cheese steak I thought was just fine. It was a seasonal item, and I thought it was a fine exercise. I think the spicy pea is not a bad sandwich, but it is that sponginess of the bread. So, Amelia and I was like, she was like, I think it's going to be the same thing. And then she immediately wrote, East Coast stolen valor. And I wrote, the bread isn't what I want it to be. And then she outlawed, she went, it's the same thing. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's not the same thing. No, because in my head I was like, if the bread isn't good, you can't market yourself as, like, an East Coast. So you go in, at least the Melrose Hill location, and it's Sopranos. She sent me pictures of the Sopranos pictures. I like that. So they're really going for that, like, Jersey Deli vibe. Yeah, Jersey Deli. The founders, the trio. Carmelo Anthony on the Knicks. There's, like, a box set of that, it looks like. They have Giants merchandise. I like that. The three founders are from New Jersey. They're childhood friends from New Jersey. So they better get better bread then. I was like, but that doesn't mean that it's good. I'm from New York, and I can't make a Billy cheesesteak. No, I'm just speaking to the stolen valor aspect of it. Like, they do have a Jersey connection. Also, it feels like Matu is doing, like, a big – and they do cheesesteak. I haven't been to Matu, but it's a big popular cheesesteak place out here. They do the braided rolls. They do it, but everyone loves the braided rolls from Matu. I've got to try it. It's too spongy. I think they need to be crispier. I followed up. I said – I texted, Weiger sucks. and then a meal girl, yes, in capital letters. I agree. I was talking about the bread. It just came at the same time as that. And if your bread isn't on par, you can't do East Coast stuff. I also want, like, there are certain sandwiches or meals that I feel like should feel, like, bar food or, like, comfort-y, even if they're on the healthier side. And that Philly cheesesteak felt too, it just didn't feel, like, rugged enough. Like, I need some oil dripping out. I want, like, the cheese to kind of, like, there wasn't enough cheese at all. It was almost too boring of an attempt at it. It was just too, like, in a way it felt too LA. Like, not too much fat, not too much calories. Like, just enough to feel like you had a Philly cheesesteak. It's like Philly cheesesteak light. This is what you mean. It felt like a cafeteria doing, we're doing a Philly cheesesteak special today. Like, it didn't feel like, I'm like, you're supposed to be a good sandwich restaurant, And if you're going to put this Philly cheesesteak thing on the menu as a special, you should be blowing some stuff. And this is the size of their sandwiches always, right? Because I think what the issue is for me is the width. Like, I think a little bit more width that would also, like, you guys want, like, I think the bread would be a little bit easier to deal with. When you say width, do you mean, like, top to bottom? No, I mean, like, horizontal. Got it, got it, got it. I think it was, yeah, like, I think I need more, because when I opened up the Philly cheesesteak, I was like, okay, there's like a square inch of steak and like a dollop of cheese. Like generally you can't even find the steak in there because it's so cheesy and there's like onions and like. The arancini was bomb though. The arancini, I like, I don't think this place is bad. I don't think it's bad. I don't think anyone's saying it's bad. I think we're saying that it inflates your expectations because of the marketing and because of it like it kind of having a little bit level of prestige and a little bit of a higher price point. You think like, oh, wow, I'm getting a really good sandwich here in L.A. Can I say the last text? Yeah. He does suck, though. It's okay. You can say it. I won't tell him that you said it. Did I respond to that? No. The Philly, the one thing I liked about the Philly cheesesteak, which was fine, was the garlic aioli, but it tasted like, which I thought was nice, but it tasted like what it is, which is an LTO from a place that doesn't do cheesesteaks, and usually the best cheesesteaks are from places that specialize in it. The spicy pea, which I like, to your point, just needs a little bit more of that cutlet in there. Like the cutlet feels a little paltry. Oh, really? I thought because they double up the cutlet. So I don't know. I was okay with that. I feel like I had a big chunk that was just bread. And by the end of it, I was just taking that cutlet out. That's not good. But anyway, chicken cutlet, spicy vodka sauce, which I do like because I'm a bit of a heat seeker. Fresh mozzarella, grated Romano, basil pesto. It's not spicy at all. I'm like, okay, sir. All right. Okay. They call it a charred. Their language is charred. Their bread is charred, which I don't think it's particularly charred. No, charred. That's what they call it. No, because charred to me, and I'm like, I'm not even like a connoisseur like that. That makes me think smoky. Yeah. And also a step past toasted, and I didn't think that was even toasted. It didn't. It needs to be more toasted. The bread needs to be crispier. And not only that, it's more of an issue. Not only if you toasted that bread, it still wouldn't do what I wanted. Because it needs to be soft on the inside, and then the outside needs to have a little crisp to it. And that just is not what it is. Mine was pretty crispy on the outside. It was just too rough. Like, I couldn't really get a hard set. I need a crunch. It was almost stale. Yeah, when you feel like you're going to, like, the top of, like, the roof of your mouth is about to be raw as hell. Like, that's an issue. I wanted more. I wanted more of a, and I was getting more of, like, eating a sponge. I think you're saying the same thing. Because it had the hard texture of something that had been crisped up or charred or toasted, but it wasn't quite toasted enough where you got that good crunch. You just got a little bit of a tough first bite, and then you were kind of chewing through the dense fibers of it. My question is, I've never eaten here in person at Giada. No one has eaten in person at Giada. They're not letting you go. You can eat there in person. Really? The Melrose Hill one, I think. Yeah, there's a location in the back, and they have tables. It seems very much like a takeout. I do think that's the only one that has feeding, though. I think most of them are takeout. The Highland Park one has a couple tables. Oh, okay. But it seems like a takeout. It's oriented towards takeout in the library. Yeah. I mean, look, that being said, I don't – the arancini were good. The eggplant fries, I thought, were good. The thing is, everything was, like, seasoned. Like, it was flavorful, but I think that maybe the – Like, because you know what I'm thinking of, like, when I'm thinking of sandwiches that I'm like, oh, I'm thinking of Il Tram Zeno. Like, you can't. Do you guys have, have you guys had the, like, the paninis at Il Tram? Yes, I have not. I have, yes, good. You know what you, you got to take him. That's good. I'll take, I'll take someone. We'll go for content. Yeah, I was like, you have. All right, there we go. We'll go for content. I was like, this is a sandwich where, like, I will order, like, three and eat one half of each one at night and then just be like, I can't move. Yeah. So good. Yes. another good American Italian place. Actually, they might be from Italy, right? Are they originally from Italy? I could see that. They've literally been around since I was in high school. Iltram is like, they've got one off of Ventura, then one in Beverly Hills. I don't know if they've got other ones, but those sandwiches are out. I've never even actually eaten anything but the sandwiches there. Wow. The Yotta sandwich is so bland, you can bring them over to Italy and they'd be thrilled over there. I'm going to get so much hate mail from my Italians. Oh, my God. And their sandwiches aren't bland. I don't think bland is an issue with the sandwiches. No, no, no. There's definitely flavor. It's just we know something's off, but we don't know exactly. Well, we know it's the bread. I think it's the bread. I think it's the bread. It almost felt like the bread needed, like, more salt or something. Like, there was something. The bread was bland. You know who to bring in there. Yeah. Baker Filmmaker. Let's get Mike's cake on this bread. Emma's boyfriend and our videographer, Mike Dorfman, is a great bread maker. They can use the help. I'll take the rest of my sandwich home and make him try it. Yeah, and then can we get an update? Give me some bread now. Yes. Can you email me? I want to know what's happening. I know this is like my one hurrah, but I want to know what happens. Oh, no, I'll see you. Here, in between my fingers, put your thoughts on the bread right here, please. Mike, don't do that. Instead, put canceled. Fuck, I'm holding it? No, but yeah. Put a canceled over to me. No, you can. Feel free to add your thoughts, append your thoughts, Mike, or put them in a little pop-up video thing, if you like. A little pop-up, Doughboy's pop-up video. Maybe fun, like a little... A little Mike Poppins. We're towards the end of this podcast, clearly. I'm just like, cool, maybe one day I'll meet Mike. I'm like, Mike's into bread and he's going to do a pop-up thing. I'm cool. Do you remember how music videos, when pop-up video came around, they were still huge at that point. It wasn't the beginning of the end for music videos or media. The Aaron Chidi were good, and you picked up on something, Mitch, that you didn't know, but they have white wine in them. The risotto balls have a little hint of a wine aftertaste. You did. Okay, palate. That's so funny. I did eat two of those. I did eat two of those. The eggplant fries I thought were fine. They were good. They were tasty. Everything here, I generally think if the bread was different, I think this is like a five-star. Sorry, five-star. Five-fork restaurant. I know, it's a mistake you make all the time. He did it. He said star instead. I know, you do it all the time. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. It would be a five-four. I'm canceled? Yeah, you canceled because you said stars instead of four. This is a fucking letterbox. Five-four. I think it could be a five-four. That bread was better. Like, I think it's. I don't think just fixing the bread. I don't think if you give this place elite bread, I still don't think it's quite a five-forker. I think it could be like a four forker. But I mean, like. So you're going sub four forks. Well, I don't know. I mean, like, I'm just thinking. I'm not telling what my actual fork score is going to be. But, like. Hey, well, guess what? Touch cotton or get off a pot. Let's get to it. Okay, great. I actually think that if they were to, like, because, like, the arancini and the zucchini, or the eggplant was good. Yeah. I'm like, I feel like they're better at not doing sandwiches maybe. Possibility. I was like, when I ate the Arachunia, I was like, I kind of want to see what their pastas would be like. Like, they'd probably be bomb. A bit of an indictment of a sandwich place. But it is like, yeah, maybe if they had a full-service Italian restaurant, that would be a better way, a better use of their talents. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. At times, it can feel like everyone else has their love lives sorted out. Whether you're married, dating, or single, most of us still are exploring our paths. No matter where you are in your romantic journey, therapy can help you to better understand your desires, recognize what might feel overwhelming, and find gentle ways to lighten your load. Therapy can help you identify what's weighing your relationships down and find ways to brighten them again. Whether it's for individuals or couples, therapy is an opportunity to identify what's getting in the way and help remove any blockers. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. BetterHelp handles initial matching, allowing you to focus on therapy goals. A short questionnaire identifies your needs and their 12-plus years of experience, plus high match accuracy means they usually get it right the first time. If you're unhappy with your match, you can switch therapists at any time using their tailored recommendations. Why, did you know, when I'm in therapy, I feel like I'm a better person? Like we've said many, many times, it's like the gym for your mind. You're getting the gunk out. You're feeling better. I always feel like I'm happier and healthier when I'm in therapy. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, serving over 6 million people globally. Plus, it works, with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 from over 1.7 million reviews. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash Doughboys. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash Doughboys. Do it. Support for today's episode comes from Square. The system powering like half the places I go. If you've ever tapped a pay and thought, whoa, that was fast, it was probably Square. Square is the platform behind the scenes of so many businesses you already love. This isn't just a point of sale. Square includes hardware that works in person and on the go, software for managing staff, marketing and customer insights, and baking tools like Square checking to get paid instantly. Square simplifies the messy stuff. It works for one location shops and businesses with multiple teams or service areas. Plus, it scales with you, whether you're selling from a stall or expanding to storefronts. No contracts, hidden fees, or complicated installs. Square offers tools that accept all major payments, including Tap, Chip, Apple Pay, and online. Plus, it shows sales and inventory in real time across channels. For instance, there's a yoga studio by me that you can just take, like, get a day pass or just do a single class. And they use Square. And it's great. It's just a local business. They're independent. there's only one of them, get a great workout there, great people, support them, and they use Square so the process is painless. Quick checkout, easy receipts, and some places you can get loyalty plates. If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down. Right now you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash doughboys. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash G-O slash doughboys. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. Vanessa, so here's what we're going to do. We're going to go around, give our closing arguments, if you will, on this particular chain, and give it a score from zero to five forks. So you're our guest. Your thoughts on Jada, your fork score. Four forks and above gets into the Golden Play Club, which is a hallowed haul. Yes. i feel like i'm a really generous person and i love food but it feels in my soul that this is a three and a half fork wow i the fact that all of us picked up on one variable which is the primary like ingredient in their restaurant for the main thing that they serve as not being the best like we all know what inside of the sandwich is bomb but like that not why you like you don eat a taco just for the stuff inside Like, you want the casing to be dope. So I think that that is, like, too large of a variable to ignore. But flavors, bomb, great try, that something's off. Especially as a sandwich lover, I'm like, it's not going to be my first place to go to for a sandwich, unfortunately. Wow. Yeah. I feel bad. You shouldn't feel bad. You shouldn't feel bad. And Giada, I'll say this. And how do you say it? Is it just Giada or is it Giada? I don't think you pronounce both Gs. I don't think it's Gi-G-G-G-G-I-D. Sorry. Like G-Unit? That's so funny. I need Fishing to be out there promoting those things. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. That was like, who was it? Ja Rule did the Greek plays here. Remember he did the commercials for the. Oh, right. It was very funny. Which one was that? Was it Papa Christos? I think it was Puppa Cristos that he did a thing for. It was very, very funny. Is this post or pre-Fire Island? I think this was... Maybe post to help his image, honestly. Yeah, that's what I'm going to go with. Also, how do you know the Jim Brooks movie he made while I was working at The Simpsons popped up on the screen for a second there. I heard about it. Are you watching it in here? Maybe. Giada, I think that you... We're not going to... I feel bad, too, because I think it's not a bad sandwich place. And I think these guys are passionate about it. Clearly, they pretend to be Italian, at least, according to Amelia. But I – yeah, you need the sweatshirt to prove it. I think that it's a decent sandwich, and I think that with the different bread, I think that this would put it into the Golden Plate Club. And I think they really should consider switching up that bread recipe and figuring out the bread situation, because I think there's a lot of good flavors going on there, and their sandwiches have good flavors, and the vodka sauce is good. But as of right now, you're just on the outside of the Golden Play Club to me. I'm going to go 3.754. Wow, three forks three times. You have to be more generous than me. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Amelia, for audio listeners, tell everyone what your sweatshirt is. I think you described this before. It's the one that says Italian. Italian. 700, it says Italiano. Don't read it from the monitor. Read it from your shirt. It says Italian. Wait, hold on. Okay, so listeners, so, okay, it's a sweatshirt, but it's in the form of, like, a dictionary definition. And so it starts with Italian, and then it goes into, like, Italian, you know, with a little parentheses of Italian. How do you say it? The noun, one, a person of descent. Oh, there's a flag. Of Italian descent. Two, consumer of massive quantities of spaghetti and pizza. Three, blessed with good looks. Four, strong believer in, I'm going to guess, family because it shows a mom and a little bambino. And then five, known to be a lover, not a fighter. Six, famous for great works of art and literature. It's Italians can do everything. And then seven was pardoned for January 6th. I was going to say on the back it says Trump 2021. Wow, what a sweatshirt. That was my first time reading it, actually. I just read the first one. I like that you try to read it for the first time backwards in the monitor. confidence is key it's not bad oh you were having that much alright we'll talk about this later spell it out are they lovers not fighters yeah I raised an eyebrow maybe Italian Americans are fighters not lovers they're definitely fighters and they're not fighting Italian people they're fighting Irish they're fighting everyone I'm curious to see whether or not once this episode comes out if you're going to get an influx of people Like, finally, someone brought up the bread. Like, someone out there is thinking exactly what we're thinking, guys. It's the bread. You don't doubt it. We're like a litmus test for it. There's five of us. You weren't down with the bread either, right? No, and I've gotten so picky about bread because, like Mitch said, Mike makes bread all the time. So I eat homemade bread all the time. So I'm so picky. And the fact that none of us talked about this before, that there's five out of five people. We're like, yeah. So that means we're the focus group. Yeah, it's bad. We've proven it, I believe. The Forks score so far, three and a half from Vanessa, three Forks three times from the Spoon Man. What say the day is? Where would you land with Forks? Emma? I would say, like, I'll say three and a half. You say three and a half, Amelia? I would say 3.25. You say three Forks one time. Yeah. I'm a bit staggered here because I wasn't quite expecting to land where I land, and I certainly wasn't expecting to be the outlier. But I find this place just consistently kind of disappointing. And we've had it for, like, I've had jobs where it's been part of, like, a work lunch order, and, like, you get, like, one of the wraps, and the wraps are, like, boring but fine. I mean, it's like pure sustenance, you know what I mean? They've been in it for the headgum hunks. The headgum hunks love it. All the time, yeah. Yeah. They come, they order lunch, and then they go home. Yeah. They high-five. Yeah. I mean, they don't eat the bread, though. It's inside. They're, like, high-fiving about how much bread they threw away. They don't eat carbs. By the way, it's insane how empty the office continues to be. It was what I got here at 2 p.m. Emma got here. The only person here was the CEO, and he let Emma in and then left. It does look like. They got into the window because the door's broken. It's the well-oiled machine here at Head Gums. It does look like a scene from, like, The Mist or some sort of scene that became, like, post-apocalyptic. Always in Head Gums. It's very post-apocalyptic. I just, like, every time I order this place, I'm like, I kind of wish I'd gotten something else. And I don't think, I also don't think it's bad. You're going to piss the honks off. I don't think it's bad, but I also just don't, it doesn't knock my socks off in the way that I would expect for a place of this pedigree and reputation. The rainbow cookies are fine. and I don't really like these sort of almond-flavored cookies. That's the same thing we said. We don't like the almond flavor. I hate almond essence. Wow. Hate it. Yeah. I don't know why it's a thing. I don't know who came up with it. Like, do you remember when you would get Jordan almonds? Like, any party that had Jordan almonds when I was little, I was like, I hate them forever. I don't see the point. Like, I want sweet, like, either processed, like, white sugar, sweet, cane sugar, chocolate, but whatever essence that you just squeezed out of this fibrous nut and you're trying to make me eat as dessert, I'm not buying it. I just feel like you're trying to fuck with me. What is the almond extract? Yes, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm not a huge almond. Yeah, me neither. I'm not a big fan. I like almonds, but I don't feel like if you were to squeeze almond juice out of an almond, it would taste like that. It's like another artificial flavor that they made up. Yeah. It's very science-y. It's gross. And all that said, I'm not going to give this place a bad score, but I'm not going to give it a good score either. I'm just going to give it a score. I'm going to give it right where it belongs as far as I'm concerned, which is lower than everyone else, but still three forks. Okay, so the average is basically like 3.3 forks. Yeah. Essentially. Yeah. Which is tougher like a place that is considered a big sandwich place in L.A., but hey. They're doing fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got their black and white cookie there once. Okay, talk about it. It is not an authentic black and white cookie. It is trash. Wow. They just took a random, I don't even know what flavor it is, but they just made the icing white and black, and it's just not. Like, you had told me that before I would have given them three forks. Like, do you see my hands? I'm, like, pissed. I'm, like, excuse me, black and white cookies. If it's an authentic black and white cookie, you're having Macaulay Culkin blowing George Went in the store club. Why? Why? I think, is it Froman's in the Valley? They've got, like, the best black and white cookies. I've heard Froman's. Oh, yeah. It's just bomb. Yeah. Wow. It's so good. I just feel like if you're going to market yourself as, like, you know, Sopranos memorabilia, New York, New Jersey stuff, you've got to have good black and white cookies. You've got to have good bread. But here's the thing is to someone who's never had a good black and white cookie, you have nothing to reference. So that's good. Yeah. You can only know if it's bad if you've had a good one. That's true. Like the minute you said that, I got deeply offended. Yeah. I just wish you had more. I wish you had bought it so we could try it. But you were like, fuck that. If it had more of a New York, New Jersey, Deli vibe as opposed to this elevated LA thing that they're going to go for, then my score would probably be higher. This place is like a magnum condom on a regular-sized dick. It's like, look what I got. You're like, okay. You're like false advertising. Yeah. What are you doing? Hey, we can wear whatever you want. And it's funny sometimes. This is where he starts crying. I got a text from my sister that just said, Mom thinks the plane rules don't apply to her, so I don't know what's happening on the floor. Like this. She's in the cockpit. She's going to be on a TikTok. I'm like, uh-oh. What's mom doing? Hey, that was a review of John. It's time for a segment. It's the return of Serving USA. Oh, God. If everybody had a portion across the USA, then everybody'd be serving the California A burritos. You'd see them snacking from baggies And eatin' sandoz, too. A bushel, bushel tomatoes. Serving USA. Deep-fried pan-fried USA. Deep-fried pan-fried USA. Come on, man. Deep-fried pan-fried USA. Deep-fried pan-fried USA. Deep-fried pan-fried USA. Deep-fried pan-fried USA. Everybody's gone servin'. Serving USA Okay, so the rules of Serving USA is Mitch and Vanessa must guess the amount of servings per container for a given foodstuff, and the closest guess wins a point for that round. Oh my gosh, I love games, let's go. I love how your singing voice goes from a 12-year-old boy asking his crush to go to a pool party and then to a guy on trial. Feverty hits everyone's friends. These boys are a tough lift, luckily. Yeah, it's a lot of falsetto. We've had such a good time talking to you that we've gone forever, but this stupid thing. It's how uncomfortable I look. Alright, first up. Oh, it's there. We got a visual here. Totino's pizza rolls. What do we do? So here's the thing. I will guess that I will give you the number of ribings per... I'm sorry. I'll give you the size of the package, and then you guess how many servings that translates to. Got it, got it, got it. So if it's like a Gatorade, and I say it's 16 ounces, and you can guess two and a half servings. Got it, got it, got it. I was like, rules understood. Yes. Totino's Pizza Rolls Pepperoni, this is a pack of 50 rolls. How many servings are in a container of 50 rolls? Each of you can guess. I'm going to guess. I'm going to say ten servings per serving. Ten servings. I'm going to say eight. Vanessa gets it on the dot. Whoa! Eight servings per container, six rolls per serving. I was like, there's no way Americans are just eating five. No, that's where my head was at, too. All right, next up, Entenman's chocolate chip cookies. Is that two points for getting it on the nose? Hmm, we haven't established that rule for serving USA, but you can. Oh, sure, yeah, yeah, let's be loose with it. Why not? You brought it up. Guys, I love this. All right, so we need to. Don't have questions you don't want the answers to. Amila, we should make a note of this, too. This is the Vanessa Chester rule, that you get two points. DLC. The VLC. The VLC. Yeah. If you get it on the dot. That's cool. It sounds like DLC, which is a video game term. There's also a software that's a VLC program that will fix, like, corrupted audio and fix corrupted videos. I've used it many, many times. I fix corrupted things in the world. That's what I do. We'll fix Doughboys? If you download it, we'll fix Doughboys audio? It's actually the one thing. You guys, I used to fuck these box of chocolate chip cookies. Wow. I mean, I like antivirus. Like, it's excavated some shit. I was like, I used to eat those a lot, okay? So we don't have the count of cookies because it's packaged by weight, but this is a 12-ounce package. Damn, that makes it so hard. But servings will still – are servings in ounces or are they in numbers of cookies? Servings is just a number. So it's like how many servings per container in a 12-ounce package. You can go first. Are we saying how many each or... How many servings total, not how many are in a serving? Oh, okay. How many servings are in the box? Yeah. Oh, that's tricky. Yeah, that's like reversed. Can we guess per serving? Yeah, we can, and then we can just figure out the math in there. I think I listed the serving. Yeah, I have the serving size too, so if you want to guess that, that's fine. My brain just exploded. I'll try to do... Well, I'm going to go first? Yeah, you... I'm going to say 2.5 per serving, and then I'm going to go... diabolical to make a cookie serving 0.5 I know but I feel like that's like that's the bullshit that they would do and then I feel like there's um 12 servings per container okay okay okay but there might be more fuck I'm getting fucked up fuck um I want to say 2.5 but you already said it so I won't um either 3 or 2 I think it's you might be on it too I think it's, yeah, I'm going to go with three just for, you know, switch it up. Three and then 11 servings. Oh, my God. This is unbelievable. You got both exactly right. 11 servings of three cookies apiece. Guys, do you see what I'm saying when I say a snack? Yeah. Yeah. Is that four points? You have four total, but I feel like for that one round, you should get four points. I think you should get an extra point. Why? Okay, fuck it. Oh, great. I love VLC. Is it VCL? Is that what it is? VLC. VLC. Don't hate on my rule because I'm winning. It can just be T. My middle name is Lee. What's your middle name? I was wondering that because you have two first names. I have a tricky middle name to guess. Do you want to guess it? Does it start with an M? You're getting everything right. I'm going to be freaked out if it starts with a D. Can I give you a hint? Because it seems like you're a basketball fan. Yeah. I don't know if you're up to date. if you took his middle name and his last name you would have a current NBA player oh shit that's really fun oh fuck wait his middle name that's right this player is an all star I'm just thinking Mitchell and I'm like I can't think of anything I don't think it's going to happen D. Mitchell Donovan Mitchell of the Cleveland Cavaliers but I found it Donovan Donovan Mitchell Michael Donovan Mitchell Donovan, you sound like a love interest from, like, an anime in the 90s. Like, Sailor Moon would be interested. She's like, Donovan from Jupiter, and, like, you're the greatest. All right. How old is Sailor Moon? She's old enough now. Yeah. Like, that was my girl. Anyway, okay, so I clearly know a lot about snacks. Like, what I told the FBI, drawings don't have an age. Yikes. That's the evidence room? Yeah. All right, next up, Annie's Shells and White Cheddar. This is a six-ounce box. Ooh. How many servings per container? Oh, man. This is tricky. It's like I'm not even thinking about servings. I was literally, like, looking at this, and, you know, it's the first thing that popped into my head, constipation. Yeah, you know. Literally, it was like constipation. Oh, totally. I had so much stomach problems when I was younger, and I was eating Kraft Macaroni cheese, like, every other night. Of course. You just, like, yum, the commercials, but then your body was just, like, but also, I'm, like, I think that our generation, like, we look so much younger than, like, Gen Zers. Like, the fucking Flintstone chalk vitamins with red dye number 40 and white cheddar annies, like, we're never going to die. We're good. We are so good. And also, have you missed dinner growing up? I was making mac and cheese a lot of the time. I was very constipated. A very fat thing I did once is I went to Carl's Jr. I'm just giving one example of a fat thing I did as a teenager. I went to Carl's Jr. and I got a double Western bacon cheeseburger combo, large size, with a Dr. Pepper. I think they had Dr. Pepper, right? If they had Pib, it was Pib. I brought that home, and then to go with it, I made a box of macaroni and cheese and ate all of it. Just, like, not one real, like, calorie assessment. Yeah. Pure plastic. All garbage. That's bad as hell, my man. Yeah. We all, like, lived on those bacon Western. That was so. I was like, what do you mean you got onion rings with barbecue sauce on a burger? I will be in that drive-thru every day in my Chevy Blazer. And I was. Thank you, small soldier. The Burger King small soldier meal is now. That's the rodeo burger, yes. The rodeo burger. The Western bacon cheeseburger is the one from Carl's Jr. Did it precede it? Yeah, Carl's Jr. was first. Oh, wow. Okay. Because we had Carl's Jr. out here. I remember again as a kid before small soldiers. All right, this is the Annie's shells and white cheddar. Okay. Do you want to go first? I've gone first. Okay. You've got to go in second row if you want me to go. So I have to say. This is a six-ounce box. How many servings per container? I have a thought in my head. Do you want me to go first? I could just do this and not hear you because I'm like, my brain is thinking so much, it's not doing anything. I think that there's four servings in this per container, which maybe is too low. Yeah, it's funny that six ounces. This is consistently a meal for one. Yes. And then, but it always feeds more than one. Yeah, I was going to be like six ounces is like, but I'm thinking of like liquid ounces. So I'm thinking of a cup. I mean, also, if you make a box of mac and cheese, you can fit it in, like, a small bowl. You know what I mean? You can still put almost all of it in a small bowl. Yeah. But I'm going to say four. I think four. Around four. Four. I don't know. I'm just going to say, like, it's either two or 2.5. That's just the numbers that are in my head, but I feel confused about this one. Do you want to pick one? Oh, god damn it. Two? You are going to win, but with 2.5, you would have gotten it on the dot yet again. I knew it. I knew it was 2.5. Did you say it was about a cup? A cup is a serving. Yeah, a cup is a serving. So I did kind of get it. Is this a new talent that I should add? I think so. I literally was going to say 2.5, and it was like, no, they're going to think this is rigged. I love the VLC. You might as well add one last cry to the episode. Ew, I hate Coke. You hate Coke? I hate, and I don't, here's the thing is, if I'm going to drink, I do not drink diet anything. I have this can here. I'm covering it up, so I don't look. Well, it's a can. It doesn't matter. That's a two liter. This is a two liter. I'll try that cup. Yeah, you can look. I can look at this. Yeah, it's not going to affect anything. That is more than one can. Fuck, one can. Always drink regular, don't, always drink regular soda. Don't drink the fake zero and the, like, diet ones. I mean, I still love a Coke Mini. I will – that's my favorite. But I'm just saying, okay, so they say Coke Zero, but, like – Oh, yeah. It's not zero calories because you're ingesting something. Oh, yeah. It's fake sugar. They've said that, like, the fake sugar is almost as bad for you as the real thing. Well, no, but the reason why the fake sugar is bad for you is because you get the taste of sugar, but your body isn't actually getting sugar, so then you over crave it, and that's when you lead to binges. So, like, throw some real sugar in there. Like, your brain needs it, so. Don't have to throw me twice. I pull out a bag of sugar. Yeah. Like, would you like some Splenda for your thing? What was your alternate pronunciation of aspartame? Aspartame. Like, it's fucking Greek. It sounds like a beauty, like a cream I put on my face. I like it. I do, like, an aspartame, like, dip before I, like, go to bed. And then I called it La Columbe because I just like adding syllables, I guess. I think – and I'm going to call it Gigiata because why not? Gigi-gi-gi-gi-gi-giata. Logistics is descriptive, not prescriptive. This is a two-liter bottle. Two-liter. Okay. Two-liter of Diet Coke. Who's first? Mitch? I'm over here like two liters equals how many quarts and how many pints? Okay. That doesn't matter. I think it's going to be smaller than you think on this one. I'm going to say, you're about to unzip your fly. I'm going to expose myself to win Serving USA. I'm already in the hole. I'm going to say that this is, come on, I've got to get some VLC. Four servings per container. Missed as four. Come on. Or is this going to be one bottle like this was one can? Is it going to be some bullshit like that? It's not one bottle. It's more than one serving per container. This sucks. I literally just had, like, a liter of cactus cooler in my house and didn't look at it. And I didn't finish the whole thing. I was like, I don't know. I feel like that number would be way high, but I don't know. I didn't finish a whole fucking liter of soda. We're going to have a two liter, so this would be more. But I'm saying, I was saying for a cactus cooler, something that has full sugar. Oh, yeah, but it wasn't two liter. The serving size would be. It was a two liter that I had, but it got flat by the time I finished. Oh, yeah. Okay, you guys know. That used to be all. That used to be all my week. That used to be all there was. There was. Flat orange soda is the worst thing you ever did. Yeah, rough stuff. Okay, Coke, I don't fucking know what this one... This is tricky. Um, I don't know. I'm just going to say the first number in my head. It's five, and I don't know why. It's just five. Vanessa gets it again. Are you fucking kidding me? It is six servings per container, so you come closer. Oh, shit. I'm good at numbers. I'm getting fucking destroyed over here. Next up, Mitch, to your point about Cactus Cooler, this is a thing to consider. I've had good guesses. The next thing is Coke heavy. Serving size for a two-liter bottle of Coke Heavy, so the same bottle size. Wait, Coke Heavy? Is that what you call it when it's not the diet? That's what we call it. I'm going to go 12 servings per container, damn it. Which says 12. Oh, okay, okay. My brain. So it's the same size as the previous one. I don't like this. Oh, I see what you did. I get what you did. You're smart. Oh, I see what you did. Yeah, you doubled the non-diet version. Okay, I see you. Go ahead. old Mitch got some tricks up his sleeve. I'm like, do I do the old prices right, like, right above you or right below you? Um, I don't know. I'm just going to go with 11. I don't fucking know. God damn it. Don't be right. It's the same as the guy. Yeah, there's... Oh, God damn it. This was a trap that Amelia laid for you. It is the same disturbing size as the previous one. So Vanessa gets a point. because she was one under me? She's closest to the stick. God damn it. Sneaky. Add that sneaky to that. What's the score? It is 7-0. Put sneaky little fucker on that Italian sweater. All right, two more. Oh, shit. Hidden Valley Ranch dressing is a 24 fluid ounce bottle. Ew, disgusting. I fucking hate ranch. You hate ranch? Wow. You do have opinions on sauce. We've had so much fun up until this point. Get the fuck out of here. I've always been, like, a very light. Like, I was really into Thousand Island when I was little because I was a fucking kid, you know? But I just like balsamic vinaigrettes. Like, I'm very light dressing. And ranch, like, never into it when people would dip their pizza and, like, wings in it. I was like, why? We love ranch. I love this stuff. But on the salad, I agree with you. I usually like a lighter dressing. Ugh. I got 12 servings per container. I'm going for it. This is making my stomach turn. 12 servings. Come on. Our buddy, Mitch, we had him on the podcast before. Joel Boyd was in the Hidden Valley Ranch commercial and had a straw that he was drinking directly out of a bottle of ranch. Jesus. It was actually ranch? Yeah, it was actually ranch. Sounds like some funnier diet bullshit. He couldn't put like a white milkshake in there, a vanilla milkshake in there or something? I believe it was ranch, but you know, I could be wrong. We talked about it on the episode. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You would have to give me, like, a flat vanilla milkshake with, like, confetti. Like, just, you know, like, not confetti, like, sprinkles that look like it's seasoning, and I'll just sip that shit. Like, I'm not, I'm, like, mad looking at the ranch bottle. Can you tell I'm, like, so triggered? They're like, Vanessa's completely spiraled out when we put the ranch up. 24, I mean, I'm going to go with, like, 20 servings. Vanessa wins this one. What the fuck? 24 servings per container. One per ounce. I was going to say 24 because I was like, there's no way that they're going to have you, like... I thought two ounces would be a fucking serving. God damn it. No, they always under you for, like, high fatty things. The serving size on this is 30. 30 what? I think this is probably, is that a metric? But the servings per container is 24. 24, yeah. All right, one more. Hey, a little Jurassic Park homage. It's the Tyson Dino Nuggets. I'm like, oh, a T-Rex. I understand this. You're just seeing Jeff Goldblum in all these. I'm like, triggered. I'm just screaming. This is a 1.8-pound bag. So how many servings are in a nearly 2-pound bag, 29-ounce bag of Dino Nuggets? Wait, say that again, Likes? This is a 1.8-pound bag. Oh, my God. It's a lot of fucking shaped meat nuggets. Like, it's a lot of imprinting dinosaurs. Oh. I never got into the custom nugs. I was always, like, I like, like, a thing that just looks like a nugget. When it starts looking like something like this, I just know it's, or I know, I know it's processed. I understand it, but intellect is. Yeah, but this is, like, a two, like, I'm very, like, I don't eat, I don't like boneless, skinless chicken. Like, I've always been, like, give me full fat. I want bone. Right. I'm eating, like, I'm chewing on the cartilage. I'm eating, like, all the things. I was always a little tough for me for a while. Oh, no, I'm Caribbean. We basically, like, crack the bone open and, like, eat the marrow. That's maybe why I never get sick. I don't know. Let's see. I'm going to go higher on this one is my guess. Are you closing your garage or looking up Tyson Dino Nugget? Amelia, I'm going to go with the number of the Italian's favorite president. 45 for Donald Trump. 45 servings. You're saying 45 servings in this bag. Is that insane? It's almost two pounds. I don't know. It would be if we knew what the serving size is. Fuck. No, 45 is too big. God damn it. You want to revise? I'm fine with it. I don't care. Okay, okay. Because there's probably like 50 nuggets total. All right. I'm going to go 21. I'm going to go 21. 21. 21 servings. 21 is Mitch's guess. I'm trying to, is it just a Stegosaurus and a T-Rex, or is there another? There's a triceratops in there. There's a triceratops in there. Okay. I'm going to go with 18, because I don't know what else to do. Vanessa, again, is closest. It's a clean sweep. What the fuck? Nine to zero. Nine servings. Nine servings is wild. Yeah. Oh, it's because the bag is not as big as we thought. Yeah. Because I guess a nugget is denser. Maybe a frozen nugget is denser and heavier than we would have anticipated. It's also only four pieces. I just was thinking two pounds like it was like a shopping bag. I'm also assuming that they're doing serving size based on who's normally eating this. It's kids. Oh, that's a good variable. Four nuggets is obviously not an adult serving size. Right. What a performance by our guests. You kicked my ass. I'm usually pretty good at the games. You got me. Match or match. You got me. This is the, uh, I'm a snacker. You were the Kate Berlant of Jingle All the Way. Kate Berlant and Jingle All the Way. You were the Kate Berlant of Serving USA. Thank you, sir. Kate Berlant swept that game. Famously got a number of them on the dot. So there you go. And we have a VLC rule to show for it. That's so much fun. Just like a restaurant of our feedback, let's up with the feedback. Today's email is from Mia from Connecticut. Mia writes, Are donuts a breakfast food? I personally think of them as more a sweet treat dessert adjacent than exclusively breakfast. Got into this debate at my gym, and I know who could settle it. Homer Simpson. But I don't have his email address, so feedback it is. Are donuts a breakfast food? I say yes, but I also, you can eat breakfast anytime soon. He's been able to tweet at Homer Simpson. You could have asked him this question. Yeah. I was writing responses at one point. Selman set it up. I don't know if he still exists on X, the Everything app. You were managing Homer's social media account? When Selman first opened it, I was like, Oh, it's me. I think I did do something like that. That's really funny. Well, okay. I don't think donuts are a breakfast food. I think that donuts are a breakfast dessert. Breakfast dessert. You eat your bagel, and then you have a donut. Wow. That's like an accessory. It's like a purse for breakfast. I don't think it should stand alone. I'm not eating a donut on its own for a breakfast. Never. Neither am I. It's a bad full breakfast, but I do think it's a breakfast food. I think it's in the breakfast category. It's a breakfast dessert. I think that Americans have made it a breakfast food. But I, like, and I'm someone who loves sugar, baked goods, donuts. Like, I fucking love that stuff. I don't want to start my day with that. Like, I'm going to crash. I will have a donut for breakfast, but it has to be after something real. Like, I need actual sustenance. I'm the same way with dessert. Like, I need a real meal, and then I will eat 90 pieces of cake. Right. But I don't want the cake first. I'm with you on this and I'll say this you know what we have all the rules for 18 and over how about relax how about 18 and under you can consider a donut a breakfast food but 18 and over I don't know if you've ever been around a child who had a donut but that is the worst way to start it is a bad way to start but I'm saying like they eat pop tarts for breakfast they still can do that sort of thing I guess it works for them to do it Yeah, yeah, yeah. From a metabolism standpoint, I get what you're saying, but probably bad for, you know, growth and behavior and what have you. Amelia, you famously care about the first bite you take every day. Would your first bite ever be a donut? Never. Never? Wow. Would it be anything sweet? Never, never anything sweet. Wow. What is it normally, eggplant parm? Sometimes. I take that over a donut. Eggs, usually. Yes, eggs. That would be eggs. But do you think donuts are a breakfast food in general? No. You say no. I also say no. I literally don't think I've had a donut before nighttime in so long. I always, if I get donuts, it's like my dessert. It's my sweet treat at the end of the day. What do you guys think of it as a breakfast dessert? I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, because it's not your first bite if it's the dessert. You got an egg sandwich and you're like, I got a little donut. I got some munchkins. Here's the thing with breakfast. I'm that person who's throwing syrup on my bacon and my sausages. So I'm getting that sweet that I need. like I want that type of sweet like a little bit of like you know syrup on my savory like sausage bacon moment I don't want like pastry sweet so how about waffles and pancakes they count as breakfast absolutely oh well well well I think I would buy a donut with breakfast but I would maybe like put it in my bag throughout the day or later I wouldn't eat it with my breakfast the way I used to eat a donut was I get a chocolate frosted donut from Dunkin' Donuts, and I would get an egg sandwich. I'd eat the egg sandwich, and then I would eat the chocolate frosted. I don't... So you were having a breakfast dessert. I was having a breakfast dessert. I would do it at the end. But you still in that... You've established with just that little anecdote that even when you bought both, the primary breakfast was the non-sweet thing. Yes. Or a bagel. Like, I need one of those first, and then a couple munchkins are fun to have. Oh, and the donut rolls don't. Oh, my God. They're having a good time. But I'm not going to just do those as the breakfast. Donut friend, they'll give you like 14 maybe it's just because i was going there so much they just would give me 14 donut holes and i'd be like i'm gonna finish seven of these before i even get back to my house because i would walk there as a way to be like well this justifies you buying your own dozen for the party you're not gonna bring them to but those like their little maple glaze don't donut guys they're so good oh my sister and jack allison used to walk by donut friend every day and make jokes about going in there now i now i want a donut and an ice cream cone. But I can make that happen. Yeah. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to pull this. We're going to take this to the people. So everyone out there is a Doughboys listener. Make your voice heard. We're going to put a poll out for our donuts. Breakfast food, dessert, or breakfast dessert. Those are your options. We'll see what wins and we will inform the populace. I do like breakfast dessert. New category. It's kind of fun. We'll let those seven votes decide. I do like breakfast dessert. Yeah. It's a breakfast dessert. Because I would do like pre-lunch or like pre-dinner when it's like I need something to eat before the real thing. So breakfast dessert gives me like a post-meal, which I like. I'm going to be honest with you. I probably eat them more as a breakfast dessert than I do eat them at night. You know what I mean? Like I'd rather have a donut like after breakfast or in the afternoon even after lunch than I would. When the bread goes down, the amount of sugar that I can pack away is unreal. Here's just one counter argument. Okay. Donut shops open early. Ice cream parlors open later. So, like, if it was a dessert, you wouldn't donut shops open at, like, noon. What was that place in Toronto that you were talking about that I didn't get to go to and I was mad? It was, like, donut cones. Oh, fuck. Those were so fucking good. That sounds like your perfect thing right now, like a cone that's made out of donuts. Oh, man, I would love a donut cone right now. It sounds perfect. Yeah, it was, like, man, it was so, I got to figure out what it was. It was so fucking good. I'm like, I'm imagining one of those, like, long donuts that's just, like, in a spiral and then ice cream inside of it. It was almost like a churro. It was the original chimney cone. Original chimney cones. It was, like, almost churro-ish. It was great. It's like when they came up with, like, the sushi Ritos. Oh, yeah. Which almost seemed gross to me. It seems like a lot. Too much. Too much. Too much apache to me. So, yeah, you have some action items out there. We are going to vote in the poll, breakfast, dessert, or breakfast, dessert, and we're going to track down Vanessa's Shawnee ad. And also, we're going to make a poll of who you're going to vote for in 2028. We are. It's going to be Trump, Biden, or Trump. Oh, God. The three choices. It's going to be like cryo-Biden by then, probably. Oh, God. Why did I say that out loud in my head? I was having this conversation the other day that I was like, they say that some people who are alive now might live forever. And I was saying how depressing it would be if it's like Trump versus Hillary, like, four. or whatever, and they're in new fucking bodies. It just might happen. That's like a Simpsons Halloween episode. It's like the year 2100, and it's just Trump's head in that little thing, and he's like, I'm never leaving. God, that was the fucking stuff. We're growing weed somewhere. A future on the Nixon. The world ended. We're like, no, we just decided to not be a part of it anymore. We just went away. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, email us at feedback at birdfuck.com. Leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOE. Sorry. Our producer is Emma Erdbrink, our associate producer is Mila Marino. Our video editor, Mike Dorfman. Doughboys apparel at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. And the Doughboys Double, our weekly bonus episode, plus our entire back catalog over at patreon.com slash doughboys. Vanessa Chester, what a food. Thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me. This is the best fucking show ever. Oh, my God. Just, like, talking about food. Like, could you see how amped I am? I'm like, you guys don't want to kick it till midnight? Like, you don't want to get dinner? This is not how the show goes. I feel like we always need to hibernate after this show is the other part of it. We now hate doing this, sadly. It's destroyed us. Napa Boys is in theaters. Wait, wait. That's a strong way to end. It's destroyed us. I'm not happy, though. We have. We've gone and done double episodes in a day. It's too much. Look, here's the thing. Mitch has just declared he hates doing this. So support him and Vanessa in their new film, Napa Boys, on February 27th in theaters. true. It's so good. And let's squash the beef with Armin and Bug. Let's squash the beef with Armin and Bug. Let's squash the beef with Armin and Bug. That's part of the beef. Get them on here and then ban them again. Also, thank you for saying the podcast was good and lying like you did earlier. Yeah, that was really kind of after. You guys then moved me to do it, so that's right. You're acting. I'll send the other half. Do you have anything else you'd like to plug? I don't think I'm allowed to yet, but I'm working, so that's great. oh I do have Instagram that's probably you guys are like come on Vanessa plug your stuff Vanessa L Chester on Instagram that's it there you go that's it such a great actor you're great in the movie and also you're just a blast to talk to and I I'm very excited for people to see the movie and see you in it and I think they're going to love it well thank you for having me you did mention when we were at TIFF you were like I have this podcast and it's about like chain restaurants and we were like eating all the bar food and I was like yes please and I thought he forgot and I was like I wonder if I could like be like, hey, can I be on that food thing? And then I got thinking of it. You're the first member of the Napa Boys to be on Doughboys. Like Steven Spielberg promising you a role, Mitch delivered. Absolutely. And this was way bigger than that. Far more fruitful. Napa Boys, February 27th. That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time, for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Wire. Happy eating! See ya. That was a HitGam Podcast.