88 Minutes w/ Pete Holmes (HDTGM Matinee)

Al Pacino has 88 minutes to live, which is 86 minutes too long. We saw 88 minutes, so you know what that means. Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How did this get made? I am joined, as always, by the fantastic Jason Manzoukas and the wonderful June Diane Rayfield. How are you both? Good. Pretty good. We are joined today by a very special guest. You know him from his podcast on the Nerdist Network called You Made It Weird. Please welcome Pete Holmes. Hi. Hey. Hey, everybody. And you also have other things, too. He has a great comedy album. What's your comedy album called? Oh, it's called Impregnated with Wonder. But I love the punk rock element of how podcasts promote other podcasts. It's so DIY and viewed. Our podcast could be your life. Your podcast could be my life? Yeah. I don't understand what that means. Don't overthink it, Pete. I don't know. That sentence actually makes more sense than anything in 88 minutes. I was telling Zoox, I could talk about this movie. I can't believe it. The show's only 45 minutes. I feel like we have to pack in so much. We should do it in 88 minutes. Before you guys got here, Pete was chomping at the bit. I can't wait. I can't wait to talk about it. I just watched it this morning. It's actually the perfect way to watch it in daylight. Yeah. So you know you're wasting a beautiful day watching what might be the best worst movie I've ever seen in my life. So did you just like wake up and turn it on or were there other things done? Pretty much. Okay, so it was like a real fresh. I was eating eggs watching it. And like when it started, you guys start. I just wanted to know. No, please, go. Part of me, I was like, maybe they're wrong. Maybe this is going to be the best. You know, I want to point out one thing. We've watched a lot of bad movies on this show. and I'm beginning to see the trend with production company logos before the movie starts. And this one, when it started, it was family room entertainment. Yes, I saw that too. And written in comic sans. It's just terrible. I was like, all right, we're in virtue. I love that you went there because I'll go one step back and say that the cover of this movie is a one-for-one ripoff of The Bourne Identity. Yes. It's the same cover. It's the same cover. Pause the show. Now, the movie doesn't even take place in this year. They try very hard to set up this is like 2007, that they're playing music. They go, I can't believe Princess Di got killed. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I forgot about that. They have to establish that it's 1997. How are we going to do that? I guess they could talk about Princess Di and we could show a picture in the newspaper. Why did it have to be like that day? Yeah. It was 97. It was 97. And they lingered on the date for a couple of seconds. Oh, yeah. That's so true. I thought that was going to be a big thing. I was like, oh, the killer's like a Princess Di fanatic. No, no. Not used. There was no reason to set the tone because that scene, that part of the movie is probably like four minutes. You don't really need to establish the 90s. The movie is all false leads. Yes. Needless false leads. And at the beginning, you don't know that. So you're like, okay, Princess Di, 97. Got it. Oh, no, wait, they're not? Okay, great, whatever. 45 minutes later, they were saying names. I wasn't even making an effort to think who they might be referring to. I wrote a note at one point that said, like, this movie is all useless female names. No, but all the guy names sounded completely ridiculous, too. It was like Jeremy Goober and, like, Guy Lafarge. It was like they were cartoon names. Basically, too, everyone that's a suspect could be and has probably been in a CW show. Like, they were all about the same name. So, like, is that One Tree Hill? Who is that guy? Everyone, that's exactly right. You don't know where you know these actors from. But they've all been on some sort of long soap opera. Yes. It will bother you the whole film. Can I also say, this isn't out of order, it's more of an overall thing, 90% of the movie takes place on the phone. Yes. And it's like a foreign film in the sense that, like, if he has to fill out paperwork, they show him filling out paperwork. Well, because the movie takes place in real time after the phone call. Is that what it is? Yes. The minute he gets the phone call. So basically what happened? Wait, it just became a little bit cooler. No, it's not, though. That's why there were no cuts? Yeah. Right. Well, there are cuts. There were cuts. There were no time cuts. Yeah. Although there are, it cheats, like, hugely. Giant cheats. In 88 minutes, he's able to traverse the city. Multiple times. Driving a taxi cab. Why does he drive a taxi cab? I wanted to get to that. Why does that happen? He can't get a taxi cab and be like, take me here. He's like, I'm going to drive $100. Well, I think the idea was. How do I move the seat forward? I'm too short. I can't reach the pedals. I think the idea was that he wanted to drive faster than what the taxi cab. We get it fucking dumb. But he wasn't driving that much faster than what a taxi driver was. At what point? And he asked the guy to get out so they could have a private conversation. We gave him another 20 bucks and was like, give us a moment. Hemorrhaging cash. He's hemorrhaging cash to this cab driver who is sitting in the back seat. There are so many shots where Pacino is intensely looking through papers or talking on the phone, and in the shot is a dirty cab driver in the seat behind him. Sort of out of focus. What's up, guys? I kept thinking about the guy's agent. Phil, you got a great scene. All with Pacino. You're working for two weeks. It's just like collateral. That's, that's, so. You're the Jamie Foxx character in Collateral. Do I have a postcard? If you have not seen the movie, you will have no idea what we're talking about. Basically, so these girls are murdered. Al Pacino testifies at their trial with a little prince mustache. Yes. And then the movie cuts nine years later. That female lawyer. Oh my God. That female lawyer delivered her dialogue. She's shmacting up a story. Delivered her dialogue as if she was auditioning for, like, Real Housewives. It was mental, her performance. This movie is so misogynistic from the beginning to end. It is so, the portrayals of women in this movie. So erogenistic? So upsetting. And it looked like the first fucking take. It did look like the first take. Like, just get this one out of your system. That's when it hit me that it might be terrible. And John Avnet was like, I feel like I should ask her to come down like 90%. Fuck it. Check the gate. Move it on. Move it on. She was doing like a bad Dennis Miller. They're like, your honor, my client was flippity-chappity just as soon as Anipas finished off his second burrito. Like, what the fuck did you just say? And the judge, you can tell her to shut the fuck up. And he's just like, I don't allow it. So basically, Al Pacino testifies, puts this guy away, and you're fine. We cut to nine years later. Al Pacino wakes up in a bed with this woman who's doing naked yoga. And brushing her teeth. And brushing her teeth. In a way that looks like she's fucking giving a Sonic Arrow blowjob. Yeah, exactly. She's got it in her mouth and her leg is up. You know, like girls do. You're right. You're right. It's a misogynistic movie. Was that supposed to be like, this guy's got it made? Everyone wants to fuck Al Pacino in this movie. That's the craziest thing about this movie. He's like the hottest guy of all time. He's like Indiana Jones in this movie. And the women they cast, though, are towering over him. Molly Rell. There are police dogs that are taller than him in this movie. Al Pacino in this movie isn't tan. He's mahogany. Like he's an odd color. His wig is out of control. Is that a wig? Oh, right? Yes, that's a wig. I mean, it's a pompadour that is lost. It's like Bruno Mars' pompadour got a pompadour. It's as if he's practicing in this movie for his Phil Spector role. It is huge. It does add inches to it. If you're wondering what that banging is, it's Pete Holmes smashing the table every time he's enjoying himself. I'm delighted and I refuse to contain it. I just don't want people at home to be like, why don't they answer the door? I was going to do it there, but I didn't. So Al Pacino is a fuck machine. He's a forensic scientist is what he is. Who is super rich. He's not. I just want to make sure people understand. He's not a policeman. And he's so almost a policeman. It's like CSI. It's like CSI when you think about it. Those guys, they're not police. They are forensic scientists. but he does run and he's also a professor but he also runs a firm called like the John Abrams firm that does question mark? anyone? forensic investigations I assume I can't but he's like I have no idea the leading he's like the leading forensic investigator until this day the movie the day the movie takes place on this day where everyone turns on him like he's the hero of the world and then all of a sudden they're like what is this shit on Alde? yeah I can't even think of the character's name Jack Graham. Jack Graham. How are you doing? Well, first of all, the woman comes back. The woman who he saved. Janie Tate. He kisses her twice. He kisses her twice. Twice. Tenderly. Tenderly. And whispers, you did a good job. You did a good job. He's also, he holds a lot of women's faces in this movie. Like puts a hand. Well, do you know what I think it is? Do you know what I think it is? He has to grab onto something to pull himself up. He has to grab onto something. He's using her face as an apple box. Yeah, he's like, pull it, pull it up. Can I get a half apple, girl? You did good. He kisses her twice. That was another moment where I was like, Jesus Christ, I think this movie's going to be terrible. Oh, yeah. Have we gotten to the cookie yet? Well, that's the cookie. We get to the cookie. She makes him cookies. They are basically celebrating that the murderer is going to be put to death that day. Yes. And everybody is partying. The murderer who, as the movie goes, not to tip it early, they just keep overstating that there's no evidence that this guy did it. Well, that's the thing. Nine years later, they're mad at Al Pacino going, hey, hey, wait a second. Maybe you were wrong. Yeah. Nine years later? Come on, guys. And so he gets these cookies. He goes in to be interviewed, which then opens up to my favorite scene in the movie, which is Al Pacino serving people cookies and milk. In a boardroom. In a boardroom. And you think it's going to pay off. I still thought it was going to pay off. There's no payoff. You're going to be like, there's going to be a thing, like the way he eats the cookie. He dunks the cookie. There's a joke about the cookie. At one point, Jill Hennessy, what's her name? No, no, it's Amy. Oh, Amy Brenneman comes out, who plays his assistant, comes out and says, Milkmaid? A real line in a movie. Not improvised. He's like, to her, my favorite line is he says, how come we never got married? And she goes, well, because I'm gay and you're a commitment phobe. She goes, I'm a lesbian. She goes, I'm a lesbian, which is even worse. Are you sure? Perfect. That's why I could have worked. Oh, my God. it goes that's why we're perfect that's why can someone explain to me though so this guy so this guy was put away is it cool if I don say milk let just get one let just get one for safety Amy I promise we not gonna use it Amy I promise we're not gonna use it just give me one and you're not gonna use the whole take of me lingering way too long realizing she came in at a bad moment that's like a 45 second shot of her being like whoops cuts to Al cuts back to her still going whoops and then she moonwalks out of the goddamn room Thanks for the cookies. Can someone explain to me what this guy was, like, what evidence there was to put him away nine years ago? Never. Basically, they're treating it like. Eyewitnessed by Jeannie Tate. They're basically treating it like the fact that Al Pacino testified as a forensic investigator put this guy away. Like, that's the whole thing. But there was no DNA. No DNA. Okay, that's what I want to hear. The eyewitness repeatedly says that she didn't see anything in the beginning. Remember that? And we didn't either. But then we don't know. Like, no one saw what happened. Kitty saw. Kitty saw. Kitty saw. And the kitty. Oh, the kitty. So basically then, you know, so he kind of, Al Pacino's never phased. He's never really phased by anything. I'm so glad you said that. I kept waiting. Like, he gets a phone call that's like, you have 88 minutes. This is it. He's like, no problem. Call me later. And then he starts teaching a class. Yes, he taught a class. Take a listen to the phone call because it's pretty great to see this, the tenor of Al Pacino Here we go. End phase. Yeah. Yeah. Hello. Hello. Hello. You have 88 minutes to live. What? You know how long 88 minutes can be, don't you? That's 11.45 a.m. Who's this? Tick tock. Who the hell is this? Tick tock. Hey, hey. What are you saying? What are you saying? And then that's it. Then he just looks around the quad as if that person was standing in the quad with him. I'm sorry. I'm jumping out of order, but there's a goddamn motorcycle man following him. It's what's his name from True Blood. Yeah, Stephen Moyer. Stephen Moyer, who winds up having one line in the movie that is said through a closed door. That's right. Oh, my God. Before he is subsequently shot. He couldn't be more suspicious. Suspicious things are happening to Al Pacino, and he investigates everyone but that guy. He keeps seeing him. He's in the class. Three times. He's in the classroom. He saw him at the quad, and he sees him again. And literally, when he sees him in the quad, he goes, who is that guy? Afterwards. He sees him after the class, too. After the quad? And that's where he's on the phone, and he goes, who is that guy? Who is that guy? The guy is a murderer. But another false lead that is so ham-fisted and nothing. Basically, Al Pacino's seen this guy now three times, and he just goes, who is this guy? And then goes back to his conference. Anyway, so get those phone conversations. He meets a sketchy campus security guy that he has checked out. And he questions one of his students. He's like, oh, give me your fucking phone, you piece of shit. By the way, he goes, give me your phone, give me your phone. Give me your phone. There is a stranger in the classroom. In a goddamn leather jacket lurking and scowling at you. Whose name is Guy LaFarge. By the way, he saw him outside of his apartment. No, outside of the girl's apartment. And in a bad flashback, he realizes that everyone in the movie was at that bar last night. Yes, everyone. Wait, in a flashback? Oh, my God, that flashback made me furious. Because he has a flashback. We're jumping so far ahead now. But he has a flashback where he realizes that everybody who's in the bar behind him. In the flashback, he can see. He has perspective on things that are happening behind him. He's a forensic psychologist. He couldn't examine his old flashback. The flashback goes to Pacino kissing the girl. Then the camera moves off of them so you can see the rest of the people in the bar who are behind him. And he has an epiphany as if to say like, oh, now I remember. Now I remember all those things that there's no physical way I could have seen last night. Because I had my back to all these people. Just again to draw that thing. Everyone wants to fuck him in that bar that night. Everyone wants to fuck him. And it seems to me that his entire office and his entire class is taught on the case of this guy, who doesn't seem that impressive as a killer. It's like, he killed two women. Like, why would this mean national? No, no, he killed a whole bunch of women. Oh, he killed that guy. No, no. Remember in the phone call where he lists all the names off? Oh, okay. So there was a whole bunch of women. Other wacky names? Yeah. Judy Watto. Why don't you tell us where the body of his name is? All the characters are like, cut like Star Trek, Star Wars characters. There's like Watto, the guy who works with me. Well, what's the guy's real name? Boba Fett. Guy Lafarge? It sounds like a Disney villain. Oh, my God. I looked it up at one point. Hold on. Guy Lafarge. Not Guy Lafarge. You've got to be kidding me. Guy Lafarge. I didn't feel like the movie was like an Al Pacino roller coaster because you were waiting for it. You're like, oh, when is he going to lose his shit? He never does. He never does. He never does. You want him to so bad. He's high register Pacino, which you just heard like, who is this? I want to be like, listen to me, you cocksucker. It never went there. What is this? Who are you? Yeah, it was always calm. Honestly, I think he was trying to pace himself for those 88 minutes. These are just some of the character names. Guy Lafarge. Jeremy Goober. Johnny DeFranco. Wait, who is Johnny? Who is Johnny DeFranco? Oh, this campus security guy. DeFranco. J.T. Riker. Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. Johnny, a name that sounds like Ani DeFranco. Yeah. I mean, also, Pacino, so basically he has 88 minutes to live. He just seems unfazed by that. Yep. And to the point where he's like, I gotta get my files out. Just find out who's on the top list of people who want to kill me. And his other guesses are, is it you? Like, just anybody. Everybody. It's everybody within his peripheral vision. It's all the people that are right there. It's like Lili Sobieski. Molly Ringwald. Molly Ringwald, yeah. And the guy from the OC, Ben McKenzie. When they did that push in on all their faces, I was like, is this a joke? It's obviously not someone, is it? Could it be? I instantly was like, oh, it's all of them. They all looked at him with fuck me eyes. Yeah, including the OC kid. Yeah, everybody was looking at him like the Indiana Jones. Including Guy Lafarge. Yeah, Guy Lafarge was up for it. I just want you guys to know that the guy who wrote this movie also wrote a lot of the Fast and the Furious movies. Hollow Men and then K-9, the Jim Belushi dog movie. Oh, my God. Yes, yes. And then, I guess, a sequel to Time Cop called Time Cop Berlin Decision. I thought you were going to say the sequel to K-9, K-10. That would be amazing. I want to yell more about this movie. Just bring up anything. Well, there was a sequence that really made me crazy, which was when, okay, so they all have to leave the university because there's a bomb scare. He goes down to his car to get out of there. Lili, what's her last name? Baby Helen Hunt. Yeah, Baby Helen Hunt. Baby Helen Hunt. He finds Baby Helen Hunt in a stairwell, and she's saying that she's just been stabbed or- Or attacked. She's just been attacked. He spends, I think, two minutes of screen time running around looking for a guy who has blood on his hands. And they don't- Remember, one of them's a woman. One of the cars that he stopped is a woman. Oh, yes. This is my favorite part. Let me see your hands. Yeah, because she said that she cut their hands. I bit their hands. And then basically Al Pacino's stopping everyone in the parking lot. Let me see your hands. I want that as my ringtone. Let me see your hands. But looking back at it all, because at the end of the movie, we find out that she is the copycat. Spoiler alert. She's the Seattle Slayer. Can I just jump ahead to that? Yeah, go ahead. She effortlessly is repelling the girl. Yes. Oh, I have a big problem with this. It took two men to pull her up, but Lili could do it with one hand. Well, she has psycho strength. Yes. Lili Sobieski at the end is revealed to be the murderer and has her next victim hanging above an auditorium or some big thing and is holding it in one hand and is able to start tape recorders and do whatever she wants to do. She makes a phone call. She's so easy. She lets the woman fall 10 feet, then effortlessly pulls her back up. Pulls her right back up. And then all of a sudden, when the action scene happens, the woman drops and Al Pacino's like, and then Al Pacino's buddy, a cop, they both are like, They're trying to pull her back up and now it's impossible. It's impossible. But that is, like we said, that is at the end. Can I please, one more thing about that? Was she blind? I don't know what was going on. What? No one else was confused. I know she wasn't really blind. But there's a moment. Let me explain. What are you talking about? Well, get ready for something weird. I'm so excited. Al Pacino comes in and Lili Soledad, the movie's so bad I would have believed anything. Yeah. And for a brief moment, I'm being vulnerable right now. I thought that Lili Soledad, another twist, was that she was blind. Listen, I will play it for you right now and you'll know what I'm talking about. Al Pacino comes in and he has a gun drawn. Yes. And she's got that weird vacant face. Like she's not looking at anything. She's just kind of like soft focus. And she says, is that a gun? And she goes, is that a gun? Do you have a gun? And he goes, yes, I have a gun. And then she goes, put it down. And then he's like, I've put it down and slide it over to me. And then he tries to slide it just a little bit. I was like, because she's blind. Oh, and now I'm remembering, actually, there's another point in that scene where he keeps on saying a number of times, what if I were to tell you there was an FBI agent pointing a gun to your head? I was like, oh, my God. I played it back in my mind. I was like, we didn't ever see her reading or anything. You know what? She could have been blind. She could have been blind. We never saw that map. That's in the DVD extras. Well, there clearly were things in this movie that were done all in post. And the one thing that I want to bring my attention to is there's a scene in the car with the girl, the redhead. Kim Cummings. Kim Cummings. And she's with Al Pacino. Best porn name of a real character in an ordinary movie. Most unnecessary sweater removal goes to. Oh, my God. Well, she obviously. She wants to fuck him, too. Oh, my God. She is like gunning for Pacino. Oh, big time. Big time. And like he's over in his amazing loft, which by the way, when he enters into the loft, the security guard, like he has a thing. How'd you know my name? Yeah. You're the security guard who works in this fucking building. And then Kim and the security guard share a look that is like real weird. I'm remembering that differently. It's a temp guy. He goes, where's Earl? But you know, you're right that there's something fucked up happening. He goes, where's Earl? And he goes, oh, I'm not. But he might as well just go, I'm not the murderer. I was sitting over here by the door. I'm a suspect as well. That also happened when Molly Ringwald is in the parking garage. She's like, what are you doing here? And she's like, I'm just coming here to get my car where I always leave it. I'm not the murderer. She might as well just say that But I feel like everyone in this movie was acting like everyone should say their line and then twirl their mustache Yeah maybe maybe maybe Everyone a maybe So this guy isn Earl The door guy isn Earl And he goes, Dr. What's his name? Dr. Graham. He goes, Dr. Graham, there's a package for you. And then he goes, okay. And then he goes, how did you know my name? And he goes, I didn't. It was a question. So let me get this straight. Everyone that comes in, you're going, Dr. Graham. And if you say yes, you get the package? What kind of a door guy are you? This is why you're a goddamn temp and not a real door. But maybe the killer went in and said, when you see a very short man with a crazy beard and very tan skin come in. It's going to look a child to you or I. It's a Lord of the Rings reference. His head will not go past your desk. When you see a pop door. If you see troll hair walking by your desk. If you see a man that belongs atop a pencil, give him this. there were so many eerie shots of that door guy that I thought for sure still investing and committing to the movie I was like surely this man is important a solid 90% of this movie is Al Pacino answering and talking to it on a cell phone this movie should just call telephone calls and he's always like phone calls yeah you know what and there's always call or wait call waiting and stuff he's like let me conference you in so much so he's getting faxes The bad guy is able to just hijack phone calls. He's on the phone at one point with whoever he's on the phone with, and then the bad guy's like, Tick-tock, Jack. Tick-tock, did you get my package? You can't do that. There's no rule. He just jumped in. I mean, oh. And so basically. Can I say one thing about the door guy? You know what this movie's like? It's like life. Because you keep meeting people that don't have anything to do with anything. It's like, hi, I'm Ben. And I'm like, you don't have anything to do with my storyline. Why do you have a full name? I can't deal with this. They do that everyone has a full name. What about Sarah Jacobs? What about Bethany Monroe? Who are all these people? Why does everybody have full names? There's a girl who literally walks by and goes, hi, Dr. Graham. And he goes, hi, Lauren. That's the sum total of her acting performance. Hi, Lauren. Why do we care about Lauren? Is she a suspect? I feel like Al Pacino's like, I got a name, everybody. I'm a very famous guy on this campus. Hey, Al, could you stop making up names for the day players? Hello, Trisha McDonald. Nice to meet you. How's your yogurt shop? I hope it's doing well. I enjoy that yogurt very much. I'll see you tomorrow. I only do yogurt Mondays and Wednesdays. Goodbye. Trisha McDonald. So much information, and it's flushed immediately. If you watch this movie, and I hope you do, pay no attention. Pay no attention. You'll learn all these people. The doorman, I do want to point this out. I don't know how to say it, but picture the doorman putting his face against the wall and kind of just like, he also does that thing. He's like, all right. He's just staring at him with his face. Wait, the wall? He kind of rounds that corner when Al Pacino's getting into the elevator. And he's kind of like, ah, just staring at him. Super creepy. And he's got like a scar on his neck. And like a weird eye. He's a killer, but everybody's the killer. But why was Kim giving him that crazy look? Who knows? And why did he, they used the take where he explained that somebody called and he uses the flashlight. Oh, yes, the phone. He's like, yeah, somebody called for you. And he holds up the flashlight and he did that in a scene with Al Pacino. Hey, Mike, I like the choice you're making just to tell Pacino somebody called for him. But like, maybe he's not going to get what a call is. So could you just hold up, I don't know, hold up your flashlight to your ear to insinuate that it's a phone. I actually think that's the only guy in the movie that was aware that it was like a comedy. Like he was like, I'm going to do it funny. I'm going to do a funny take. Well, I almost forgot about my favorite scene, which is I guess there's like smoke coming through the building. They have to escape. And then Al Pacino does this thing where he jumps in front of a fire truck for no reason to roll out of the way of it. Alone in my apartment. Daylight laughed for about a minute. That made me really sad because I felt like that was totally added in because Al Pacino was like, you know, I want to look like a hero. That really bumped me out. He's a terrible, I love Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, great runner. Al Pacino, not a good runner. Every time he runs, he looks like he's holding two eggs in his hands that he doesn't want to break. It wasn't like he was doing anything heroic or trying to help. He just got in the way of a truck. A fire truck and just kind of rolled out of the way of it. And then his car blows up. Spoiler, his car blows up and we all knew it was going to blow up. But then I was like, the whole point is that they're going to kill him at a specific time. But they rigged his car to blow up? Just so they could get him early? What if they did get him? It would have been like, well, fuck, I had this whole finale where I'm wearing the Catwoman suit and I'm baby Helen Hunt. But there's no, like... And why was that apartment on fire? Why did anything happen? I think to drive them out. Why did anything happen? Like the bomb scare? I think to get them out of the apartment. It was around that moment that I realized this movie wasn't 34 blocks or whatever. I thought it was going to be like that. I was like, why isn't this in New York? 34 blocks would be another one we should do. I'm sure that's just equally bad. This movie is priceless. Go ahead. Oh, I was just going to say, this is the point where he hijacks the cab. Yes. Right. Well, especially because at this point in the movie, though, you want him to just say, get out of the cab. Like, we're going here. Yeah. He doesn't do that. I am going to die. He's negotiating. He's like, how you doing? I'll give you $100 if you let me take your cab. If I can drive your cab, you can stay in it. What is your full name? What is your wife's name? What's her maiden name? It's like a memory. The whole movie is a memory game at the end. Oh, wait. Did we forget about the interview on TV? Oh, yes. That's one of the things I was going to say. Did we jump that? Yeah, because that happened in the apartment. The bad guy. He conferences in Mike Ditka. He calls Mike Ditka. Wait, what? The guy with the slick air. He looks like Mike Ditka to me. The guy that he wronged for. Neil McDonough. He calls. Neil McDonough is on MSNBC, rather. Yes. Being interviewed. With like Deirdre McConnell. I still don't get it. He's like, it's being simulcast. Just set up to 7th grade. He's like, call MSNBC and get me on with this guy. What does that even mean? And so he calls in. He has minutes to live. Yes. But it's time to call MSNBC to talk to those, to talk to Neil McDonough and like try and, he's like, I'm going to mess with his head. Yeah. You know? I'm going to get him. I'm going to get him. I'm going to get him to come out of his shell. And that's probably the best Pacino of it. Yeah. Like in the movie. Yeah. Tell me. Tell me about Dama. Dama did it. You fucking cocksucker. And then they have this argument where like, oh, by the way, this movie is obsessed with TiVo. Yeah. Because then you hear that. Oh, yeah. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. It's always. That was added in post. Because they realized later, they were like, he just pauses the television? Isn't it 1990? Oh, it's 2000. And then also, in the middle of the interview, the guy gets a stay of execution. And then he just stopped the interview. David moved over. Like, okay. They just go away from him. They were in the middle of this heated exchange. And Pacino just pushes pause and hangs up. And then he called into CNN or whatever, MSNBC. MSNBC. MSNBC. He calls in. It's not enough that he's having a conversation with the guy that's on his TV. We got the fucking cop partner conferenced in so he can hear it too. I kept wanting to be like, why doesn't... Simulcast 7.50 a.m. Yeah, why would anyone hear? And with us, he must be on a delay. Yes. There's no way he can be in real time on the TV and listening to the TV. It would literally be a delay and they would be like, please turn your TV off. Yeah. Go into another room. And the other thing was too, are you watching this while you're doing it? What the fuck? And the picture of him that they use on the TV when he's called in is like a jack-off shot. It's almost like, hey, hey, hey, Jack, right here. And he's like, huh? He looks like he's been frightened by a ghost. And I love the fact that he's unaware that his photo's being taken in that photo. It's just like, oh. His cop buddy is listening, and the cop buddy knows that he has 88 minutes to live. And the guy's like, the killer's like, what if you only had minutes to live? They're clearly saying he's in on it. And then the cop buddy's like, doesn't trust him. Two seconds after that, it's like, ah, you're lying. Can I say something about the film overall? Will this make sense? I don't know. This movie was so clearly written by one person. What I mean by that is every character is the same. They all just kind of, they talk the same. Everything is just in service of the story. And this is the thing that I wrote down that's funny. To round this thought out. We didn't talk about how he breaks his cell phone for no reason. Right. There's a scene where he breaks his cell phone. And then takes kids. And you have to watch American treasure Al Pacino pretend to drop his cell phone in the stairwell. And it's broken in a way that only could be done with like a bullet. Yeah. And he just dropped it on the ground the way we do. He gingerly dropped it. He gingerly. And he kind of gives it a little voice. He bobbles it. He's a bobble. Oh, oh. Oh. What if I maybe do like a bobble? John, John, get over here John, I had an idea What if I bobble the phone? I'm looking at the phone I'm looking at the way it's broken, right? And I don't I can't do it without it You're great, I love that opportunity I don't think it would be realistic If I don't bobble it So anyway No reason He breaks the cell phone And you're like Oh, that's kind of interesting Because now he doesn't have any contact with the killer And the whole premise of the movie Is that he's going to be reminded how many minutes And then he just gets another phone And he gets all his calls forward into that film. Why were we forced to watch that? What's the point? What is the point of that? But my favorite moment is at the end when he kills Lili Sobieski. He saves the day. Everything's going good. And the killer calls him on the phone thinking that he's Lili Sobieski. And then he has a big speech to him. He's like, give me a messed up. And he's holding the phone apart from his head. Yes. An interesting choice. And then he goes, like he goes, what he says like 12 hours to live tick tock and he just throws the phone I saw the phone okay I'm the same guy that thought Lili might be blind but I thought the phone was gonna explode it would've made oh oh it would've made as much sense that was his backup plan was an exploding phone oh yeah nine and then the whole thing was like when he goes up to confront Lili Sobieski she makes him confess yeah now and he confesses immediately. He confesses immediately, but I don't understand as a viewer if he did coach those people, if he did hide evidence because at the end of the movie, he kind of takes that tape and puts it in his pocket like that. Guys, what was she gonna do with that tape? I don't know. She's a murderer at this point. She's not gonna go and now introduce it as evidence, right? It doesn't make any fucking sense. I guess every part of the movie too because there's a couple moments where the Molly Ringwald clone calls him up and she's like, I did it. I'm behind the whole thing. You're like, oh okay I buy it It impossible And that because Lili Sobieski has a gun to their head Right but you don know it at that point So even at that point you like okay I guess That always seemed really obvious to me though I know we could see her and she was sweating and stuff but he would always buy it He'd be like, hey, meet me in your apartment. It's me. I've been setting you up. It's me. And he's like, he keeps getting those calls. Well, the whole tape that sets off the whole day is a woman going like, Jack Graham totally lied. and he did all this bad stuff. Did I say everything you wanted him to say now? Don't hurt me. And it's like, all right, this tape implicates you. She was clearly under fucking duress. She said it on the tape. She mispronounced one of the words. She got nervous for the reading. Why would you believe someone who's like, you then watch being murdered for over an hour? Wait, but I have a question. Oh, I guess Lili Zobieski got the semen from the hooker to place in those bodies? Yeah, because she was a bit too made out with the hooker. Am I the only one that was, oh, wow. I stopped trying at that point. Also, in that scene where they were like, they found your semen in her vagina. I was like, ow, fucking taking some risks. Yeah, blowing loads right in the cave, right up there. I thought I was like, this is a girl he met at the bar. Wrap it up, buddy. Wrap it up. Raw dog in it. Raw dog in it, Regina. I'm Jack Graham, forensic scientist. I don't use condoms. That's the third thing about this movie. A man who makes his living swabbing up semen just blows up. That's probably why he was so shocked to find out she was an escort. Wait, wait a minute. What? I've got to get chair back to that girl. That's why he was so upset. He's got to go in. Hang on. I thought she was a law student. I wouldn't have raw-dogged her if I knew she was an escort. He does. He spent 15 minutes going to a clinic to get tested in the movie. That explains this burning I've got. Uh-oh, I guess I do have 88 minutes to live. He's going to fucking die from an aesthetic. June, do you want to do... We have a new segment that we would like to do here. This is a segment called... Say what? And basically, we're just going to take a piece of dialogue, if you guys remember this. It's just a dramatic reading. You should actually do a good Al Pacino. You read the Jack parts. Just take a second to read it over. And this is one of my... I'll be reading Shelly. All right, here we go. Shelly, there's been a break in my place. In my most secure area. Did you ever give anyone clearance to go into my secure files? Jack, what are you saying? Did you ever let an unauthorized person into... I can't read it! This is a real line! Did you ever let an unauthorized person into my secure files area? That's a line that American treasure Al Pacino memorized and delivered multiple takes. Or there was a better line that he forgot and just made that one up. Hold on, let me respond. Give me the end of that. I gotta do it again. Give me the end of that, Peter. Did you ever let an unauthorized person into my secure files area? I know you missed one of the words. I did? I gotta get it right. Did you ever let an unauthorized person into my secure files area? No, not ever. To anyone. Ever. That's a real line. Al heard that. These things happen. Did you? That sounds like the most dirty, my most secret, my secure area. My secure files area? That woman. Where did the man touch you? Where did the man touch you in my most secure files area? I know you're an escort, but can I come in your most secure files area? Her name is Shelly, too. And there was actually a heartbreaking moment because Glengarry Glen Ross is one of my favorite movies of all time. And Jack Lemmon's name is Shelley. So there's a moment where Al Pacino goes, Shelley. And I'm like, oh. Yeah. So great. She also is De Niro's girlfriend in Heat. Really? Which is like the other Pacino crazy, you know, insane. Those two face off in the diner. But Amy Brenneman, like, how far has she fallen? One of my favorite Amy Brenneman moments, though, is when he calls her. All of their scenes pretty much are over phone calls. But he calls her to say, call the cell phone company and find out who just called me. And he's like, trace the call. Just find out. And she goes, okay. She hangs up and writes something on a post-it. She wrote trace. I totally noticed. She's going to forget to do what he just asked her to do. He said right now. They were like, do it when you have a chance. It's like, do this immediately. And she was like, if you told me what was going on, I could help more. No, fucking do the trace. Get the fuck out of my goddamn face. Obviously, we had some issues with the movie, but there are some people who really love it. I'm going to visit some Amazon.com reviews for a second opinion. Warren Christensen writes, Al Pacino is not disappointing. It's worth twice whatever you pay for it. Five stars. Milton K. Gonzalez. We should sell that guy copies of this movie for twice if it were. That was my first impulse was to go on Facebook, type in 88 minutes and see who had it as their favorite movie. There's a lot of five star reviews. Milton K. Gonzalez's is my favorite, though. One of them. Well acted movie with a real definition of the story. Al Pacino is very good actor for this movie because when you see this film is like you are living it. Wow. He's right about that. Yeah, that's true. I kind of wish I had known that real-time 88-minute thing because it really did. I couldn't quite put my finger on what was so fucked up about it. We haven't even gotten into the significance of the 88 minutes. Oh, guys, the dead sister. Kate Graham. He listens to that tape, by the way. He gets a fucking serial killer, sends him a tape recorder. He's got Molly Ringwald in there removing sweaters for no reason. And posing on the stairs. Yes, and he just starts listening to it casually. He's like, I'm sure this is disturbing. Oh, it's my sister. Well, first he checks it for chemicals. First he checks it for chemicals. And then there aren't any useless. Why? That was in there. He was like, I have one of these things that they use at the TSA. Why? He scans it. Okay. He scans it. It's clean. He opens it. Not a bomb. He goes, not a bomb. And the scan screen was a gas mask. And he goes, scanning, scanning, scanning. Safe. Why? It's so bad. It's so bad. You have to watch it. He then has multiple, he has so many flashbacks in this movie. Yeah. He flashes back to the bar again. He flashes back to his dead sister flying a kite. Yes. He is like, he is a man who I believe might be having some sort of aneurysm. Where all he does is have continuous flashbacks. That scene where he's driving the first time you see his sister riding on the bike. Oh my God. There's already too much happening. And they introduce the sister being dead. And she was murdered over 88 minutes. The answer is when Amy Brenneman does trace the call, she finds out that it's a cell phone that you can buy at a convenience store, but it was registered to the name Kate Graham. And then she says, I'm sure this is a coincidence. Yes. Probably not. In your line of work, there should not be coincidence. When there are people that are killing you all the time, there's no coincidence. She's a bad secretary? I don't even know if she's a secretary or is number two. That was one of those lines where you could tell the movie was a little dated because she was like, it's one of those cell phones that you can buy and just load with minutes. A prepaid cell phone, I think they call it. But it was registered to someone's name. That's the point of a prepaid cell phone. It says why drug dealers use it. You don't have to register. She's like, it's a burner phone from The Wire. So parting thoughts. Would you recommend that people watch this? Where does this fall on movies? I think it's watchable for sure. I don't know. I was really annoyed by it. I would say there's a good chance I'm going to watch it again. With friends this time. Because it was a pure delight. And the funniest thing I've heard in months is, he's not a cop. He's not a cop. He's not a cop. Everything will lead you to believe him to be a cop. But he is not a cop. The whole story here. Oh, this is clearly not a cop. He's essentially a scientist. Which is irrelevant. Oh, man. That is the funniest thing he says. He's essentially a scientist. If you do watch this movie, which I don't know if I recommend, but it actually opens up this whole world of the second life of Al Pacino, which I think we should get into on this show. He might be our new Nicolas Cage. Oh, my God. There's one thing I did want to point out, which was Jet City Improv. I was going to say that. Wait, I didn't see that. I was going to say that. They're having a scene. Him and the cop are having a scene, and behind him perfectly framed is a flyer for an improv company, like a Seattle improv company. The whole movie. I can't believe you didn't see it. That's funny. I didn't see that. As if the whole movie was a ruse just to plug Jet City Improv. Because they're in Seattle, at one point he gets into a car and there's talk radio on it. I was like, please let it be Frasier Crane. I was like begging for it to be like, hello, Seattle. Dr. Frasier Crane here. I'm listening. And I just typed in on my computer, Jet City Improv. It is real. Seattle's best comedy show. Seattle's short form improv troupe offers all ages shows and classes. And Al Pacino. I would like them to call in. I love these guys. I would like them to call in and let us know if they- I saw these guys in Seattle. I want to advertise for 88 minutes. They're great. Can we get a- And it's not really even a proper flyer. It seems like something that you would make and just pop it up. Can I get a suggestion of a space that would fit on this stage? I'll give you $100 for your cab. So that is 88 minutes. Can I move the seat up? I'm sorry. It was just a good hour podcast. $100 not for your cab, really. Let me be clear. Okay, okay. $100 plus tip. That's right. Sit in the back while I investigate. Yep, I'm going to drive. You'll be in a lot of shots. You'll especially be in the shot. Kim's going to sit in the passenger seat. Kim's going to sit up here. She looks weird. She's suspicious. She carries a gun. She's been in an abusive relationship. Please, please. And she has a very strange waist area. And here's the Easter egg moment. I've talked weird. And here's the Easter egg moment. You have to just watch a completely 80-yard scene, which means they added in the dialogue way after the movie was done of Kim talking to him because she's never talking in the car. It's all done over flashback and voiceover. It's so bad. I didn't notice that. When they had that whole conversation in the car, she's like, you need to give me answers. You need to tell me what's going on. She's not saying any of that. They just creatively shoot around her. They needed to do that because otherwise it would seem that his monologue about his sister was out of nowhere. Which it probably was. They got some studio notes and they went back with Ringwald. and then ring all bizarre wing girl thank you guys so much for listening thank you Pete Holmes thank you guys anything you want to plug anything Pete just you made it weird man other podcast people enjoy that one I'm going to have all these people on it and you are at Pete Holmes at Twitter right Pete Holmes with a Z oh there you go alright Pete Holmes with a Z I'm Paul Shearer at Twitter at Miss June Diane I'm not on Twitter guys alright that's the way we do it see you next time bye bye oh and thank you very much to our engineer Dustin thank you so much for doing it Dustin thanks bye bye $100 for your camp