Fat Guy Breakfasts! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Hold on there gang California the boys are coming. I'm gonna say it one more time California The boys are coming come see us down there in Los Angeles for the Netflix is a joke festival grab the squad Let's have a good time. Yeah, if you've never been doing a YG live show It's stand up that we play a YG with the crowd you guys submit your questions. We pick the best questions We should only it's a good time get your tickets. We'll see you there find out if you garbage Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Yeah, that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that after group to be classy They're just a big old piece of trash trash trash trash. I'm your host a trolley coming at you on a beautiful day We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition. She's now doing a little extra work for that new murder. She wrote spin-off Yeah, good for her called murder use wrote fuck Yeah, I got a laugh so Fucking antagonistic this is what we call a family episode or enemy You be the judge Just a boys the bozo in a homie just the boys the bozo homies just the way we like it My co's is coming at you from across the table my best pal in the whole wide world a lot of people say there's no heroes left in this universe Kevin James Ryan Next to me is a J. Oh What's up gang shout out to the shout out to everybody Thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rave you subscribe on iTunes full video available You tube full video available over there on Spotify and the boys are climbing the charts climb it get your ladders out The boys are climbing charts the shows look out beard and ever it's going up every week gang get on the garbage Love your chain. We love you's then obviously the greatest website of all time WWW dot patreon.com slash are you garbage go over there? You get all that bonus content you get the you sign up today you get the last five years of bonus content a lot Hard feelings. I'm talking a yg bonus episode the whole nine yards a lot a lot I don't know if you notice I I Keep it's happening once a day now. Okay, where I Not only speak Something with my brain in my mouth is off Or like the last word is messed up sure I have that a lot too. It's not drugs It's not alcohol or anything like that. It could be but it could have been but it's not I'm just saying that I'm starting to get concerned that I do have like early Parkinson's or dementia or something like that. Yeah We want from I don't know I don't know I don't know yeah, it could be for sure I gotta go in. Yeah If I had dementia we still do the show I mean I would tell you if we were doing the show You'd be in here at a cardboard cut out. I'd be I'd be on an island somewhere That's a pretty good episode today. Yeah, there'd be a hologram kippy in here Yeah kippies on a space station Anyway, I heard you have some So you're gonna run by me is that right? My office door is always open to you you seem to be sometimes You make it seem like there's like production meetings that like or like you've gotten snippets of information That's just I don't have anything. I want to run by yeah, I have a this real quick. Sure. Yeah I was I was I was in the middle of something this one is water so cold. I remember the first time I had cold water It was 1972 my mom had just left me. She was wearing leather pants. Hey play the hits will you I Don't know what you were about to say, but I know I got it No, I remember the first time I had gobstoppers. I've been drinking I shoved it in my asshole By the way, my son found my belly button recently. Whoa, man He caught a whiff of that thing down there. Yeah, right He's cheesy. I bet You got a finger in there. I slapped it out like more East cheese shop Where it's coming from I'm supposed to eat in there. You're gonna Murray's cheese shop. I just want recently I know that you were there when you have lunch in there. Oh It's like eating a foot. Yeah, it's was like feet in there. Yeah, a little fucking for breeze Murray. Hey crack a window panel Yeah, I got um, you know as you know, we're we're dirt bags. Oh, yeah, right? Oh, yeah and To the fullest to the max dude. Yeah, this was uh, I Mean there was just multiple steps to this and I didn't even realize it was happening until it was over and I looked at it I was like, oh That's a hmm. That's the definition of jammed up. Okay. Look run it The toilet paper Roll a toilet paper on the paper towel holder as paper towel Whoa, first of all, I thought it was a mini baseball bat We play for the Trenton Thunder. What's going on there? Yeah, your house. Uh-huh. Who did that? I did what didn't you think about it? We were out of paper towel out of paper towels paper towel who says paper towel I do paper towel about four beer What do you think that guy's please smells like I could use a paper towel I get four or five beer to bear probably smells like Mary's not in this country. Um, I Uh, I knew I was cleaning wiping stuff that way, you know, I and I needed some sort of Absorbent paper product you are cleaning. Yeah, you should try some I mean that's even worse Okay, but I don't have paper towel So I'm I'm already I already sprayed the I already sprayed the counter down. All right, right, right now I go I turn around. There's no paper towels, right? I open it on to the sink. I'm looking all everywhere You go into the bat under the sink in the kitchen not for the not for the toilet I'm looking for paper towel everywhere there and there is none I go fuck I didn't buy a big one because I was at a fucking CVS. So I just bought a two-pack Like a dickhead That last year an afternoon. You got a baby a paper two-pack of paper towels. Don't get you out of the not out of the night I love paper towel. So then I just it's the shitty it's Scott toilet paper by wife's family We're in town. They bought a fucking 36 pack of Scott. I got this shit for the rest of my life You can't use it. I am so sick of that shit dude. It's one it's single plot But so then I'm using it. I wipe I use that to wipe down and now I just got I I Need to like dry my hands and stuff. So that's it's rough trying your hands A little PJ called it a little rolled up joints. Yeah, yeah, it gets worse GI Joe joints. I mean the fact that you even put that on your counter is That was my house Yeah What that if that was my house, huh? That would be somewhat acceptable Acceptable and I don't know what circles you think I'm rolling it because that toilet paper has fecal matter on it No, it doesn't how do you know what unless it came with it? I wasn't in the bathroom. Oh, I'm not an animal I'm a dirt bag. You didn't take it off the off the off the hoop That's all good, baby That's what I'm saying is that still there or was that like done as a joke as a joke. No, that's still there right now You gotta get your shit together a little bit. Hey, you paper. Yeah, you four five beer. Yeah, but in a pinch That's fine. That's what am I also? I'm not having company over a pinch. Okay. It was just me and my wife What? I need to do what leave there as like that's gonna be your paper towel until it's gone until I until it's replaced with paper towel There's not much you can really do with it though It's more than nothing. I'm not gonna wet my hands and walk away like an asshole Well, don't you have a you ever heard of a dish towel? Yeah Yes, they're nice sometimes. They're very nice to get a nice clean one and you put it over the sink So it doesn't get all moldy and you just you know, you just be wary of it I understand that rub like mashed potatoes. Yeah, but I know yeah if I was a lot Yeah, for sure. I I agree with you But you can't if you spill a little something on the see the problem with the dish towel, right? Is I'm cleaning I'm doing dishes. I'm doing all this stuff. You're not you can't try dishes No, it's like you could be leaving fucking cotton all over my frying pan You can't use the dish towel like wipe up stuff and then also on your head just gets to of course It's too too too ratty and it don't dry face. Well, you can also can't be putting fucking Clorox on the countertop wiping it up with that and then drying your hands. Oh, yeah, that's just for like That's for things it can handle not a lot as one ply toilet paper handles You know, it's like I'm at a gas station. It sucks. You might want to think about replacing that Scrubby back there to on a left. He looks a little dried out. No, that's pretty brand new here at that guys No, that guy's been in the sun Now that's I think that's you don't live in a blue zone. I'll tell you that that thing is hurt What's a blue zone to where people live that are very healthy your? green Grunt sponge what do you live under the fucking center of the earth your green sponge doesn't and what's that big sponge in the back? Is that for the baby to wash? I'm not sure if I'm being honest with you. That was new I took a hot sponge and when I sent the picture to Luke. I go they're gonna bring that up for sure I don't know it looks like something the only sponges I've ever seen like that We're fucking dudes who do drywall wipe the dust off the new drywall as the only time I've ever seen a sponge like that It was nice when they did I don't know what my way. I haven't seen it in use that was there this week Yeah, maybe she uses it it's got it's baby related for a little sponge bath Yeah, but we don't do that in a sink. You don't wash the baby in a sink. No yard Take him down to the truck stop I can spray him down real nice Wow Yeah, but that's that's the that's the that's the kind of life I'm living and it wasn't it did not cross my mind until I looked over at one point to dry my hands and I pulled that and I'm like the trashy thing to me is All these steps to get here get it on the Even the holder were all I didn't think I was jammed up I was just like I yeah, yeah, yeah, and then I went oh, I've made a lot of shitty decisions to get to this point It's a nice looking paper towel holder though. Thanks Rustic little marble in the bottom. Is that my right about that? So it's some sort of stone. Yeah. Yeah, promise Pumice. I don't think it's a promise. Nice countertop decent countertop. Yeah, you have a kettle. You have an electric kettle Yeah, she does the tea. Why don't you do it on the stove? Let your kettles quicker. I don't know No, it's I think to me is very European nobody I knew I'd never seen one until she moved in and we got one I figured she'd want to do it on the stove. You have you have um I got a little waffle maker for the boy in the back. See a little guy. I see a little bit You have gas heat right or gas stove. Yeah, okay? You got the bullet stay vermata You got the bullet yeah French press for what a parent's pretty nice And I think the thing in the backs for iced tea or her mom made like lemon water in it or something like that Oh, I don't use none of that. Hmm I'm a frying pan little bit of pork roll couple of scramble the only thing I use in the kitchen They those are out like that all the time Yeah, it's a lot it's a lot you're using most of that every day though to waffle maker the kettle and the Nutri and the Nutri bullet that's what she mixes the the pancake stuff in for what about the anal brush that's on the left That's for bottles sure I hope so or my belly button That's a glass thing for glaces No, yeah, I've seen them for glasses, which is nice. Yeah, but you know, that's the That to me is Resourced I mean a guy of Luke's caliber would never be doing that if I was having company I wouldn't do it either. I'm a bad clerk's a bad look and I get it jammed up 20 minutes Whatever I get this that's there right now outside of New York City It's more acceptable in New York City, right? You can run out to the boat. They can get abs very I can have paper towels here in Five minutes. Yeah, that's not like a skill you have that's called Uber Eats. No, you just I would go and get them I Can go and get them. I'll be back in five minutes If I didn't stop to get a slice That's New York, baby Why are you guys explaining New York and Uber eats to me? I get it I Just jammed up when you're down there Joe Joe slub suburbs Slumming it you need paper towels. What's it take you 45 minutes? You got to go to Costco No, I could have them I could one I could walk to get them or two Ten minute round sure you're eating any beaver do you more? Yeah, I'm such a bum too I still I I treat I Treat our neighbors like we're like a door like we're living in a dorm like yeah, you got any macaroni's left You know have you borrowed food off of them? Borrowed food is a is an odd. Have you went over and asked for something? I could have bite it Instead of a cup finish that skinny I Know no no no have you eaten dinner over any neighbors houses? I've had You know cocktails. I've had I should say that I've had a couple of beers and some they like a charcuterie Really, but no dinner No dinner. Huh? That's interesting. I don't know. Have you ever had dinner out? Yeah, yeah me too But I never had dinner at a neighbor's house. You don't have a house or whatever Not whatever it'd be weird. I Have I couldn't tell you the last one would it take for you to go to one of your neighbors in your apartment knock on the door and go Hey, man, you haven't you haven't frozen. Well, I don't know. What are you eating nowadays? What are you crazy going to ask them for for something like that? It's good good good on the street Yeah, no, I know we're living You're living in a bit. I'm not I'm saying that Going over for dinner. I would if they nobody's invited me people. I don't have you know, I wouldn't I haven't done that Trying to go in the last time I ate at somebody else's house was you like to do it Hey, yeah, yeah, I'll come over but I gotta eat my underwear in your bed And I don't want any eye contact either. Yeah. Yeah I always think that whenever I'm out like someone this would be awesome if I was by myself If I was eating this on the couch, you know what I mean? No, I don't know. I don't know what you mean. Listen. I like Last night. You're here late. Yeah, we were I go working. Well, someone ran out a little early The rest of the team stayed you scared out of here They keep me fresh, right? Cameras are off. I'm at it is dumb I There's nothing I love more. I dislike I don't dislike it I'm not as comfortable like last night. I got home Pizza. Yeah, my wife had already eaten cuz I was here. Awesome. I said late. That's all you. That's all you want to hear I already I know but then I got to sit on the seat. I want anything not on anything. Yes Are you going in your you're going to the room you're going to sleep? Yes Who are you? You the fucking 1980s bully Shit already eatin I was like, I'm gonna go get some I'm gonna go get some Zah Three slice banger you leave the house to go get it. You order it. No leave the house. You eat it there. No, huh? Eat it there. Oh, listen. First of all, who's your fucking attitude? All right. No, I kind of like it One if you're gonna eat at the house. Yes Like a fucking we're tharted Borat I'm not gonna eat it. I'm not gonna eat there in my neighborhood I'll eat somewhere by myself randomly throughout the city You think you'd want to be out of the house for a couple of minutes. I was out of the house all fucking day Well, I just said I worked late because my partner ran away. There you go You know gonna be in her busting your balls get out of the pizza place talk it up with the guys play a little Kino Smoke some cigarettes check out some ass walking by, you know neighborhood guys Is that what you think you are? I don't know Sometimes you go off on these fantasies of like someone you are not I Was there outside of my coffee shop the other night sir get out of here you gotta buy something The other night there was like three days waiting for him to open up There was like three guys standing outside. I said hi. They're like what nothing Trying to be a neighborhood guy Gonna end up on a list to keep it up. By the way, can I take this? The Costco guys I Invited you to be part of the crew Hey, you look you look like you know your way around a chocolate chunk For big yes, yes, yes Cousin Henry the Rizzles go through puberty. They need to call one up What's the kid's name big justice throw it off the mound a little bit of pepper on the ball Mm-hmm. He throws a little bit of heat. I'll be honest with you And athlete sure. I don't yeah. No, he's a visa. He's a bit of a baseball player. I believe that's a good snap on the ball Yeah, I got a good snap on the ball that from your What I really had it today, aren't we? Kind of the program I don't know what you're looking at me called I contact Kevin's I love factor Let's talk about spring time. Let's talk about trying to get ready for summertime Let's talk about not fucking picking out all the time. Let's talk about factor meals ready to eat Fresh never frozen ready in two minutes delicious top quality variety Fantastic factor factor meals has built around your goals whether that's weight loss overall nutrition more protein or GLP One support like the boys for strength and workout recovery check out factors muscle pro collection They got you covered top to bottom baby pro listen. I am a big factor guy I've been a factor guy since before they were a sponsor of the program Listen, it takes the bad decision-making out of my hands if I go I'm all if I'm on my way home I'm gonna get pizza. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get that again. Nah, I got a shredded chicken taco bolt That's I'm I have every be ready to do minutes chicken taco boy It's fresh never frozen over 100 rotating weekly meals including go globally inspired flavors like Mediterranean and Asian So there's something new to look at every friggin week, baby And here we go head to factor meals comm slash garbage 50 off and use code garbage 50 off to get 50% off and free Daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until 927 26 see the website for more details do it Kevin's talking about hollow socks, baby Quick question pinhead. What do you know about ultra soft? What excuse me? What do you know about ultra soft, baby? I think it's like when you touch you go houses even legal level of comfort. What are you talking? What do you know about thermal regulating when it's warm outside when it's when it's warm when it's cold outside? Breatheable when it's warm outside. Yeah, there you go. I messed that up a guy who can't read Your feet stay warm when it's cold outside and breathable when it's warm outside. Uh-huh nailed it Yes, it's got moisture managing your feet stay dry instead of sweat of stewing the sweat which is Outerless Aderless, I'll pack a fibers keep it odorless. Yes, if you're on the job You're doing your work here at tailgates hiking camping travel days cold offices early morning dog walks Even if you just like wearing them around the house because they are so comfortable and cozy You'll spend the I found out about myself I'll spend the good money for high quality comfortable shoes Then I'll be a bozo and put on like nickel socks that I got from you know the five and dime And wonder why my feet are always so sweaty and cold Hollow fixes the parts that actually touches your skin all day because they're smart people They know what they're friggin doing. They were nice enough to send us a couple of pairs I put them on when I was shoveling the snow all summer and then one right now And then I got inside the go I had to take that I'm not gonna take you off because they're breathable to breathe in they're doing like magic socks everyday socks They got the hunt socks got trade socks compression socks whatever you need They got you for a limited time hollow socks is having a buy to get to free sale a bogey do that's head to hollow socks comm Today and check it out. That's hollow socks calm from 50% off your order after you purchase Lashka How you heard about them tell them support the show tell them the boys say you do it. Yeah back to show back to show if you Order the slices in and eat it there. I get it you go out to the pizza place Just eat it out there see the pizza place man. Just sit down for a couple minutes relax Have your four slices Your three diet coax and then walk back. It was three and two but you brought it back to the house. Yeah, it's so close That's what I mean like it's like I'm gonna run. That's just grab pizza come right back. I'm back I'm their order wait back in like eight minutes. Got I'm from they hand me the boxes. I'm already paid I'm home in three minutes. What are your three slices that you got? I know there's a lot of detail your ass. I know they weren't three cheese I Is that wait I've seen fat Kevin order pizza before I'm sitting next to fat fully. What are you talking about? A rig of Tony's you get a little pasta on here sometime don't lie. Yes, you do. Yes, you do Have I sure one search double cards car double carbs Carl? Really shoehorn that one in there And put that in slow-mo Not really I've seen you get pasta slices. I'm not listen. I'm not saying it's never happened. You did miss back Kevin this morning. Why? Holy shit Don't say don't cut your back my name's been muttering this down for the last two months gang now I got the underlings all coming around Because I'm doing any better because there's dares started to worse join the dark side of the force dude I need to tell you that is Talk about a band because I'd forgotten about it. What do you do? I had it was very very mysterious This morning folks as we were coming in the office Kevin sends out a text to the group tech saying who won Starbucks. Oh wait never mind What you fucking hit your head on a hokey or something like that. Oh dude Luke that sucks man. I was like what the Don't think him going. What are you? I think he was like, oh you missed this morning. I don't think happen That was real patchy you good Hey, how long ago wasn't you guy? Oh, no, what do you do? I didn't do nothing I had a nice balanced breakfast got new nickname To bagel kevb who bagels what did you show up with two bagels? Or you stopped at your bagel place and came in kind of hook. I walked right in you didn't know I didn't I volunteer you bought hand up. I volunteered this information What happened what? explain I was walking up the street Mm-hmm His ears are still ringing Fucking fill with poppy seeds I Was gonna order star boss gonna get bites. Yep, and I decided not to do that cuz I don't like them that much Uh-huh. Just like yeah But they come cold and whatever. I don't want none of that So I go I'm gonna grab a bagel at our local deli Okay, fair enough. Yeah, right fine. Nothing's crazy about that. No Just a guy getting a bagel. Mm-hmm, and then I found like a real bagel joint big nice John Known for bats ought to do bagels bagels big New York talking about bagels bagels fluffy bags Okay, I go in there and I really want you know how like sometimes you want to bagels You don't want to bagels I would like a bagel and like a hash like a kicker you like a kicker I love a kicker Love it. He's on my side. I love I have to do is draw this out You had me you could go get bagels you had me with two bagels. So yeah, because you just tell yourself I'm gonna have this one have that one. I did it's not because you want to bagels you want a variety When you have you want a smear? No, so you might go in and you might say hey, let me get a I don't fucking know Let me get a sesame with sun-dried tomato cream cheese on this one And then let me get a locks with the whatever on this one, and you just gonna Bit no, that's not how I That's how I think that those are the lies I tell myself. There's no need to hold thing. There's no lie here This is pure volume of food and I want okay. I want to be airtight. I want to be I Want to be plugged up okay, I'll be full That's what I want out of that gotcha that's all that's So you that's how I feel you wanted to bagels I Thought I was gonna do what they're big I thought I was gonna do one and a half so I did a bacon I can one and a half They don't sell a half a bagel. No, I was gonna get to but I thought I was really only gonna do the half genuinely Okay, I knew I was probably gonna do too, but I thought a half would get me there See what he's doing is lying to himself. Good. Oh good All right, not at all. That is a pure honesty all right And also I was like, oh, you know, but then the guy behind me was talking to his boy He's like, I think I'm gonna get to when I say yeah, yeah me too. Turn on you me too I was a good idea. He was jacked too. So I think you know, I gotta bulk up. I got a fucking carbo look So what'd you get? I got a bacon egg and cheese on a sesame right and sesame toasted No, I don't do the toast and then a butter No, okay good and then Everything with cream cheese Also not toast. I don't like the toast. Wow. That's two bagels. That's not two bagels That's a breakfast sandwich on a bagel and another bagel Yeah, check stuff. It's also two bagels. It's not not too bagel the bacon egg and cheese is not a so then I get in here Thinking I'm a half hour early. I gotta watch this little rat comes in Who the shark the shark because nobody told him we went from 11 to 11 30 So I get in here. I did I turn the corner and the lights on to the front door I Thought it was your fat ass. Do I say how am I gonna lie to him about that? I got the one in the bedroom. I couldn't bust out two bagels in front of you I'd never hear the end of it. You probably would have said hey, do you want a bagel? Okay, good. I wouldn't I'm not gonna I would have gave you half of the of the cream cheese Because I wanted one and a half I'm not eating bagels I'm down working out What are we lying? No No, no, no, no, no, no, you always do that no one's saying you're not down You you say a bunch of shit and then go I'm down and really rely on the down which everybody says you are down Um You're on Bailey this fat is next to me at two bagels I am I Am eating bagels these days. I Would have probably had half of that bagel. Thank you Yeah, but then I fuck his sharks here and I know he's not good I know mom's the word with him, but he's in the bathroom when I get here So I try to really get one down quick. Jesus. I was hot too So that was an egg in the middle of a big egg and she's steaming So that wasn't real enjoyable Okay, first half of that well sometimes that's the way it is I know and then I I knew he wasn't gonna say shit. I just opened up the other one He's the new galoka the total boy can't come at the fucking probably even notice You know what do you say nine to bagels on boss? Really? Yeah, so I whatever I don't and then a Luke comes in I tell Luke and then he fucking He throws that back just fucking wait you fucking rat real nice rat. Good job Luke I know how it feels to be fully Yeah, don't you getting fucking dimes out for every fucking nickel bag you do a bunch of bullshit Hey, oh listen my eating habits aren't either here nor there. We have a gosh darn family episode Yes, no work to do here And as you know when you join the old patron, he'll answer your garbage question on the air, please only my two bagels Ryan to be our Let's still haven't had your lunch yet. I Did take the stairs today Yeah, I'm so pissed about that. Yes. Yeah So I worked off those I've worked off those 4,000 cows. It looks like that's an insane way to start your day Yeah, but like you don't know the world we live in you just don't know that easily what 1200 calories and It's over. That's over. Oh a per bagel. No saying 12. Oh, no, I'm over to 2k. Wow. Yeah good for you. Thanks, man It's two K's I don't I feel like half of that stuff isn't even true. No, it's true. I hit it It's true. All right, let's see here You're kind of killing it for the day. You already ate all your calories for the day. I did I'm an over to sleep You shut shut the machine down process all this refined sugar Let's see this one is from your mother $10. Never have one read just rule black Just flew back from Florida and I brought back 30 plastic bags from our groceries You can't get the bags and fill in anymore because of the bag band. Whoa The plastic the plastic bag issue in the Philadelphia area is not great because they've banned them. Am I nuts? So I feel like the way the burbs they haven't but fill it maybe inside Philly limits. They have I Mean they did it in New York. You dude mate. They're still a decent amount of bodegas It'll give you a plastic bag. No one else. I always get plastic bags when I order something Yeah, order food is different. Yeah. Yeah, what do you mean like from like the deli like nobody's giving you plastic bags? The deli does Yeah, bodegas will okay grocery mart grocery stores are not no grocery stores. Most of the most of the single use plan I mean we've gone over this. I don't know what I'm explaining to you You have to buy that 25 cent or the 50 cent right canvas bag Hmm a lot of people use those plastic bags for waterproof type stuff Now that this is what you can't put wet stuff in them canvas bags No, because it fucking leak your recyclables trash. It ain't doesn't hold so he's importing his from Florida It's pretty good. Yeah pretty trashy. I Do get it though because what's he gonna use them for though? I don't know. I mean what's anybody use them for? Pick up the dog shit. Yeah, you can't pick up the dog shit with them fucking with them canvas ass bags Anything you ruin your toad. Yeah recyclables are horrible in those plastic bags Yeah, because you think you're like oh and in a little bit next thing, you know, it's dripping all over your fucking tootsies You know what I did the other day I had a paper bag with a handle and I had thrown some trash in there and I think I had thrown in there a What Yeah, what'd you put in there? Fucking telling you. I know no. I just thought what's with the shitty in grin. I think it's gonna be funny whatever it is No, it's not. What were you thinking? Man, what was it? What's wrong with you? Oh you explain bags to you then you stop mid-story I had it on the counter and I thrown a bunch of stuff in there and one of the things I threw in there was Was a Spindrift can that had maybe like a little bit in there too much too much I ended up leaving it there overnight and I went to take the throat out in the main trash can grabbed it and just That's probably a lot of lot left in there that was that was a quarter old you had an inch in there old fries Just hitting the ground sucked Fucking coffee grinds all kinds of it was gross. Yeah, my mom says I'm ever digger condoms dude every time I had to go into the trash for like looking for There was it was always wet and there was always coffee grounds in there You're just like I'm like what are you running a diner lady? What the fuck you're a single mom How much fucking coffee in here you come across a fucking busted over an egg shell? Total it was every a tuner can yeah I hated the tuna cans We're like a goddamn fucking fish processing plant in the 90s dude the amount of tuna she would be doing is crazy Take out the recyclable Catch a hanger lady Green flies oh, I hated it dude hated it I Let's see this one's from Jesse ever tuck your ears in your hat that is a fucking top tier dirtbag wigger move dude, that's crazy. I had a couple of boys did that growing up He show up and I just got their ears tucked in like a fucking Dallas Mavericks fit it or something Yeah, that was that was that was a that was a real White kid who wanted to be tough look that was that the flat brim the ear. I never understood it How you buying a hat that big or does it have a small I don't know I don't you look like an idiot an absolute idiot Yeah, tough Never did that but if you were diving you're for sure a dirtbag if you ever did that. Yeah, that's awesome talked in it dude The ears that's a kid who's I says like you know fucking time is money and only God can judge me tells it is mom Yeah, he's got he's Yeah, that's a single parent. Oh, thanks Kathy. Yeah, but you shut the fuck up Crazy and he's got he's got a curse. That's my aunt's name and my cousin used to do that Yeah, she was a single mom. Yeah, and he was just a massel with like the Boston hat tucking up the ears Is that the kid that was your DJ? No, that's my other cousin. What was his name? And it no, well, yeah, huh? You fold you you fold you Check out the patreon if you want to see the wrap. Yeah, Luke wraps and we we found we got our hands on it Shout out to Louis V He's By the way speaking of which Los Angeles make sure you get tickets come see us Netflix is a joke festival May 7th Good for these people a lot of suits out there shit come out and hang with the boy Louis V open it up Louis V open it up psych How much do we have to give you to go out there and wrap? Back up track. You just kind of do like you know, and you be in the green room puking. Oh Fucked up. He's all high I Mean Cassie's waking up. This is a big you you both got you both got your fucking ears tucked into your hat Stank Get me an ounce of weed. I'm up, baby. Okay Try mouth out there Dude, I saw a great clip of this dude He's going you ever ask you ever ask your G your drug dealer for how much something is that you know You're not gonna buy any thinking how much is the QP guys like 600 six hundred. I don't think a great She talked about I Re-pubo shit 600 okay, I'll do the cramp. I was dying I was dying This is a paid message from go fund me my name is Ashley Kane I'm the daddy of a little girl in heaven and a father to two boys on that I've got an incredible relationship with go fund me both personally and via our daughters foundation the isalia foundation Go from me is allowed me the foundation and Thousands of people out there to give hope to what is in need You'd actually be surprised how many people out there are willing to show love and support you in your time of need My advice for anyone that needs to start a go fund me Will be do it you don't need to feel shame you don't need to feel guilty You don't need to feel embarrassment if you need go fund me use go for me Start your go fund me today at gofund me comm that's go fund me comm Go f you Nd me comm this message reflects one person's experience Hey gang, let's talk about chime chime chime chime is changing the way people bank It's fee free and smarter banking built for you I'm talking to you out there not like the old school banks to charge you overdraft and monthly fees It's built for you not the 1% chime isn't just another banking app They unlock smarter banking for everyday people with products like my pay that gives you access to up to five hundred dollars of your Paycheck anytime and getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit Some old banks still don't do that which is boncos because they don't care about you They're just in it for the money they stink not chime chime turns everyday spending into real rewards and progress Chime makes your everyday spending work harder by delivering real rewards and financial progress that you can count on They got benefits like we've said though Yeah, bank fee bank fee free plus overdraft coverage you can count on helps you build your credit history stress free get paid When you say up to five hundred bucks earn up to three percent APY on financing rate of five stars by USA today customer service real humans, baby Chime is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank during the millions who are already banking fee free today It just takes a few minutes to sign up head to chime.com slash garbage. That's chime.com slash garbage do it Chime is a financial technology company not a bank banking services a secured chime visa credit card and my pay line of credit provided by the Bank or bank NA or stride bank NA my pay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500 optional services and products may have fees or charges See chime.com slash fees info advertised annual percent in yield with chime plus status only otherwise 1.00% APY applies no mean balance required Chime card on-time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score results may vary see chime.com for details and applicable terms This is from it's a cardigan. Thanks for noticing Are you garbage if you drive with your hood up on your sweatshirt? That's a real another third yeah when hoodies hoodies hit differently in when I was I don't know you might be able to shed some light on this were they cool for you like in junior high and High school. No, it couldn't have been maybe the end of high school or not got cool for us in like seventh eighth grade like 2000 When you say hoodies you mean zip up hoodies, right? Or do you know even like hoodies? Oh, yes, it was all crew neck before that And I'm not just sure if that was my what I could get my hand But like it seemed like hoodies became Brands started doing hoodies. No, the hooded sweatshirt was always kind of like the Russell type was always kind of cool You know they mean? Mm-hmm, especially the lifeguard hoodie The red lifeguard huggy sure chicks would wear that you're obsessed with that. Yeah Hey, girl Beautiful girl. What is that? Is that what I say? I Oversize hoodies were always kind of a thing But yeah, but I guess what I'm saying not the way that you think yeah, like every like I get that hoodies existed But I'm just saying like at some point every I Was we reskated at that age so like every skateboarding company came out with hoodies. It wasn't just like oh, here's a blue Russell athletic hoodie you train and like sweatsuit. It was like it became a style It fell the college crew neck was was was more Yeah style and you look back on it. You're like you look at your dork. Oh, I had an old Dominion college crew neck Sure. Yeah, and it was like cool back then I look back on it now. It's like I was going to fucking night school And my dad burned over my business trip It was a West West Virginia hoodie or West Virginia crew neck was sweet and old Dominion That was back and you would just get caught like random college. Yeah shit. Yeah, who the fuck is old Dominion? Division one school. Yeah, that's it's very funny. I mean, but when hoodies hit Man, how you remember driving with my driving with my hood up and my teacher saw me pulling into school my Debbie Lou 1996 eight that And he's like were you driving with your math teachers? We drive with your hood on today. Yeah, so And he's I was like, yeah, that seems dangerous Slaps the shit out of you. I'm sorry man Yeah, same that same teacher coffee you must have sucked the fat Kevin Ryan a little sleepy coming in Yeah, little sleep boogers in your eyes. Now. I always showered in the morning. Did you yeah? Yeah, come on dude. No, I was listening Street trying really Now I always showered and I do I listen you've seen me I'm a I'm a tough sleeper. I wake up. I'm not you got a wrestling match I'm not it's not I Could never get you halfway that I I looked like shit to begin with then doing that It looks like my dad fucking slapped me around You ever see the kid that rolled in the school notch and didn't shower in that in the morning is like hair be sticking up a little bit Dude, that's my biggest Is seeing someone out on like a Sunday? Listen, you've ever run like I'm running to the around the corner, but you're like kind of out. I'm like this. Oh, I do that I know you're gonna yeah now But with the real greasy hair where I'm like you'd have a shower at all weekend type thing, you know what I mean You can tell you can't go to get two bagels I know but you can get you can listen you can you shouldn't be going out in this shit you slept in either Put on a flit. You don't want to shower. That's fine. Fuck that. I'll see on the weekends All bets are off. No, you're gonna have to get a bacon egg and cheese or whatever all bets are off You do you you're running a wah-wah come on your fucking pajama No, the world is your living room. No, it's not man, and that's the fucking problem. It's not What are you wearing a fucking business suit walking around? No, but put on a fuck don't dude I don't need your t-shirt with like a fucking cum stain down by the bottom and like your next all stretch out your fucking dandruff Lakes on you. I'm sorry. I got one of the cum on my t-shirt Yeah, no, it's like I don't need to be that close to your bed sheets There's no reason a little bit of respect respect. Wow. Wow respect seven. What if it's a girl? And she has an oversized hoodie on the lifeguard a beautiful girl I'm sorry. I was putting on like the hat the hoodie. It's fine to me. You're making an effort To be like I didn't just put on slippers. No, I'm not saying that you just said that you just said I'm assuming that You know, there's a little Over I've I've also been with you in hotels with like you use your shop a little bit That's all I'm saying you job. You can't be fucking Proper in the clothes you slept in you can't do that's my that's just my That's that's when I Kevin Ryan's keys to success take that to the bank. So I always did as a kid I know I died I was a bad. I was a bad sleeper. Did you guys ever get into the hoodies that zip all the way up? No, that was a little after my time. That was Yeah, yes that and the the hoodies that had the thumb hole that the thumb sleeves on them that shit hit that was big We used to do that naturally as a kid like you'd get a stretched out hoodie Stick your thumbs in it. Yeah, but then there so there was the holes that was grunge stuff There was holes and then there was the This There was the holes but then there was the ones that had like a sleeve for the thumb not just a hole I can't even find them. Maybe there's only a couple of brands did it. I can't find them. I'm looking I can't find it thumbs sleeve hoodie It was actually like a piece of cloth like you your thumb Oh, it was like a little instead of just a hole and it was like a yeah little condom. Yeah, that's pretty sick Uh-huh. I mean, yeah, that that's something there with the hoodies at that point were like very yeah, so did it jump to shark? They the eye holes in the zip-up hoodies so you could like see yeah, that was that was way pan that was Fucking yeah, fuck around get your ASP. You showed over your fucking dork class driving around like that A bunch of kids with peanut allergies Dork Stinks 20 years younger than whatever. It's also he's doing much better than I But that's either here nor there. I can still make fun of me the dork when he was in high school. Sure. Thank you nerd What was the most expensive piece of clothing you got as a kid for your parents Will you walk around like a $200 hoodie? Yeah, like those would come around like once a year from what I Mean nothing was like $200. It was more like I mean once I got the high school vineyard vines was big Oh, that's crazy. That's that's a fat guy brand to me. No, that was to me That's so funny 1220 14 the one kid. Yeah, I guess even before he was with the kid was wearing in college And did I remember showing up in like a fucking a Williamson Williamson? Is chef jacket No, what was it Sonoma was Sonoma, but see if you can find Sonoma. I think it was whatever they sold it It was I Yeah, I know exactly who you're talking about. It was dude. I remember showing up at a button up sweat my ass off in the sun I didn't know we were going to like a bar like we were going out and our boy He showed up in like fucking he's Connecticut kid rich kid. He went to Drexel Paul Hey, look like Patton them and dude. He had like the vineyard vines tucked into like a pair of like Blue khakis with like pink fish on our mercy. You wait. Yeah, someone you fucking know I'm sitting there dude sweating through this long-sleeve button. It's like fucking 4th weekend wool pants on pair of slacks go charcoal wool pants I don't be like, ah man I in my head I thought I was doing that, you know I mean, I really thought I was I thought I was like in the country I didn't I I've just learned not even really but that's how off my settings were wait That's what you kids were with that's what kids were wearing as fashion those like rich those like salmon colored Yeah, it was like the lax thing was big in my town So and that's like all the cross players were like vineyard vines Nike elite socks you were midcast with sparrows It's a tough look. She's very is like a preppy like a real preppy rich kid. Look. Yeah, damn Fuck you guys. I knew one kid that went to I knew one kid that went to Nishamini and he wore We heard stories of them the one kid wore a collared shirt and we were like eighth grade Somebody went yeah, he's wearing his suit and I didn't know I thought a collar shirt was a suit. I didn't know the difference Yeah, why did the kid wear a collar shirt? He was just like preppy. Oh But to me that was like that guy thought it was like he was getting married like I was like thought he was doogie Yeah, you're like they're like you see the guys in a shaman here. Where they were suits. It was really shaman. He's a Lower-class school district. Oh, is it sure? Huh? Mm-hmm. That's about you Pretty trashy me and my Williams to know my jumpsuit. Yeah, I don't know me. I don't I don't come And even anybody in my family I mean my dad wore the same my dad of my step that were the same jeans in the same tops not like whatever it was either if it was It was a blue Russell Long sleeve crewneck like sweatshirt to my dad like yeah, like 10 of them or whatever they wore every day My stepdad wore the same flannels every it was like that's all There's no fashion. There's no you know, nobody was My dad would go to a cop do when Tony Soprano hit my dad started dressing like that was when I was big I told you he sent me to a wedding at like 11, right with the fucking like with the turtleneck and the suit Like no shirt and tie it was like that will help tucked in your pocket And I had to guys again cool. I didn't know I didn't know where he got the inspo tucked in shirt, right? That was probably tucked in I know but you know, but that's a that's caught sure I remember my brother's boy was like, why are you dressed like Tony Soprano? And I was like, huh? I don't know what the fuck was a bugoo Yeah, that's funny. It's also like the newer kids. They the fashion is like a fit like he's like Oh in the whatever socks there was never any branded socks anybody knew about now. We were just trying to get ankle socks Yeah, trying to get ankle socks Things changed a lot obviously in that in that time things used to be cool then you came along Everything I branded your supreme and your Benny Blanco whatever you were doing your mark Ronson Everybody listen to Amy Winehouse Don't get me started better beautiful girl Did you guys ever get college gear at a young age and then like your parents are like you're gonna have to study really hard Though to get into this school. No, that was the college gear was huge when I was okay when I was in like Seventh eighth ninth tenth grade those Kind of hats like gillis where sometimes are like college back in style It just says like not really a logo, but I'll say the name of the thing like whatever university There was a circle and they have a little these little lines that went out. I can't remember game hats I think they were game hats was the name of the company real simple kind of yeah, they were huge Anything college was huge anything NBA was huge Starter jackets all that kind of stuff. Yeah, that kind of stuff. No, not the one in the middle. I'm sorry the Michigan retro circle Yeah, those were huge huge You was where them you'd fucking bend the shit out of the beak and pull it down and the weathered it got the better The better it was like if it was like ripped and all that kind of stuff It was cooler. Uh-huh anything weathered was was big But then that happened, but then it's like that became not cool to us like if any like I mean it was like sneakers if your sneakers were worn you were fucking washed it'd be like all that like You people would like waddle in their air forces or Jordan's not decrease them like it became everything had to be Yeah, it was very rap inspired sure the juror. I mean do and if and any Professional jersey toss was like You can get your hands we'd swap them we'd fucking trade them we you know I was the most expensive. I think I was an Eric molds jersey Eric molds Who's that? It's like a fucking linebacker on the Buffalo Bills. I wanted them. I wanted or lost it in a dice game Eric molds think that's his name, right? I think I want it from Pat Jerry Strinskowski Eric molds American former football player I don't even know when he put 12 seasons Would you try to sound cool? But I got my mold Jersey on for sure We're sure what's his name who did people know it was no I think I got it from Pat in like a in a Some sort of gambling debt He paid me in an Eric molds jersey. He got over on you on that one and not that was not a real player It was authentic. They did the real stitching. Uh-huh. Yeah, it was a real tight around the arms. It was like Because he's running back and you were a fat piece of shit He's a wide receiver six to two ten I was five four three eighty And then I remember losing it to my like an asshole walking around in 81 It was eighty nine 84 I was gonna say you're not you get away with it. Maybe think you're tight end or something the 84 That's awesome, and I lost in the game of C. Lo to my boy Jeff. I'm ever being like that's the most expensive thing I owned Gone I just being like I had a really two we ever like a week or whatever. I live by the gun died by the gun See a mold It's just these lines on your Last my shirt in the poker game really that sir With titties hanging out still got the helmet on I Jolly G will occurs. Um, all right. Let's see here this one's on Foley's Marshall arts gym Okay, $10 Solstice that There lady is it garbage to get in trouble in second grade for using a carpenter's pencil? Oh Those square jobs they got real mad when I used a pocket knife to sharpen it that'll jam you know Rubble is a little fucked up to get in trouble. Can't bring a knife to school a knife I get but using the carpenter's pencil. You should be able to use that sure I mean, I also think it's just like maybe not in those formative years. Yeah, also like I don't think you know I don't know if it works on a scantron or whatever. It's a big thick piece of Excuse me, I've gotten them down to I get you I believe I mean for sure. She's also also eight years old or whatever. Maybe it's not as you know Yeah, fine point is that I do get half you if you're break that out to for a test or a handwriting thing and the teacher's like No, let's get you a normal fucking pencil. I had to use that grip because my handwriting was bad Use that dumb kids grip Like the sleeve her bowling using that Yeah, I got popped at that shit every couple of years They'd realize I'm they would they would they would they would pop me realize I'm dumb Do something about it for like two weeks and then it would just stop. I just go back to my regular desk There was like a lot of times a different desk. Yeah, I'd be like, were you ever in a class like five six people? Yeah In I-haul for English I can't write the name of the teacher, but she Um poor lady. Yeah, she was down there fucking fucked up teaching us Sixties man wild time But this is earlier this isn't like from like fourth grade to like eighth grade I would just get popped every once in a while with like something would come around or like something like, you know some ADD thing or you know Learning disability thing or some test or something like that or I'd be the fucking poster kid Sure, I'm gonna test the meme. I don't know. I never had to go to the place next to McDonald's I said what the fuck was he his old house on the second Street Pike yellow. I go this fucking just saying good. They say Just saying a promotion Walking up as you know, you just tell a place sucks with the walking up the stairs You knew you were in trouble or you knew you were going to something on fun If it was during the middle of the week at like seven o'clock, don't forget after dinner We have to go to doctor who did we go to whatever? Wait, what's that? I make sure you don't have flat feet. I got the meter on you There is so much of that shit where you just had to go to some random fucking Never in like a professional build like you think I want to use the fucking mall or nothing You got me going as fucking wacky as thing like next to an orthodontist or something I Don't know I don't know what it might have been a psychiatrist or a Psychologist like it might have been something to do but I was also when the divorce hit and they were trying to fucking trying to plug The hole in the boat. They were really fucking hey, welcome to dumb dumbs I Used to have to go to a tutor. I didn't go to a math tutor For the SATs or something. I forgot what the fuck it was for This bitch was So big they chicken way you did it or something. Oh, you did it Yeah, she would order Chinese food her fucking huge ass she was like pretty much immobile And her huge ass husband would come in And he would be missing belt loops left and right Was this at her house no it was enough it was above a pizza place ironically enough fat too, yeah, but not like He was like you fat. He would he would bring it. I Respected yeah, he would bring her Chinese food. Oh, yeah, she would order. I'd get there at like 515 or what? You know, I get there five whatever, you know And It was also just so try my mom would drop me off and like my step mom would pick me I think we were there was like there was like the custody switch was at this You know somebody would drop me off and then the other party would pick me up brutal Meanwhile, she's up there fucking eating egg rolls and like wanton to why you're twice. She's teaching you ever a piece of fucking A piece of fucking egg roll flew out of her mouth and landed on my homework. I was like And she just like I remember she just hit me with her pinky like you get that out of the way Thanks for this sweet sauce. My teacher's gonna love this How can you be doing that eating Chinese while you're tutoring a kid? Even I know that's wrong. Uh-huh. Well Danny went there. I went there and then I went back there I went there a couple of times Did your mom know that she was huge? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I was also the same time I realized what post dating the check was Denise. I remember Denise that don't cash until next week I got her. Yeah, I gotta move son. I said this lady's gonna be at the fucking Han Dynasty with this Fucking nuts lady every fucking every every a check cash in place trying to get fucking fortune cookies with this thing But yeah, I had to go to a lot of those I got a cold set When the when the dinner dinner when the divorce there was like a lot of Whatever behavioral therapists and stuff like that and also Danny was nuts so they would be lucky He's something so he would start acting up. They'd be like, well, let's Curt, you know, it just just seems to be this is gonna be under my hat. We're just looking at me He did it like this Yeah, but there was this yellow yellow or pink building right next to the McDonald's was an old like colonial how not like I just an old house. That's not you around that time. Is it is it? Yeah, that's it. The horse just told me they got divorced I still hit the pose though, and they gave you a Frankenstein haircut Right there that they told you before that I As three I think Yes, it was after that. I was I had already lived like so half my life without these fucking guys How's an old vetted traumatized kid there? You were going to work after that. They took picture I'm gonna be at lumberjacks in an hour All right This one's from Aaron is a garbage to threaten to send an invoice for your time I had a co-worker beef with Raymore and plan again, and he said so where do I send the invoice for my time too? That's a big diesel thing. Yeah, they got me calling now. I'm sending them back then the multiple emails Who's gonna reimburse me? I I've never never really done that. I don't give them. I don't give into the the fight. I don't know the invoices It's good for you Yeah, I don't know I've given to the fight I'm not gonna spend an hour two hours talking to somebody to rectify a problem That's I would just go I'd rather lose whatever the fuck I'm losing Then sit on the phone for two hours. I don't talk to my wife on the phone I'm not talking. I'm not sitting to customer service or anything. You know what I mean? I got you I mean when we went through the carpet thing here remember we're on the phone I was thinking you just can't get it. I just want you just you go. All right Well, like it's either what you're gonna do it or you're not gonna like you know I I'll do that stuff when I'm trying to do something like I can't go to the website and do it I got a call and talk to somebody to do it. So I know it's done Just cuz I'm stupid sure that's so I would rather do it any other way than get on the phone and talk to somebody Yeah, any other I don't believe the website Like it like you know if I could go and do something on the website change something over set up a payment arrangement or something like that I don't trust it Yeah, no, I'm the complete. How do I know what that's going? It's the server failed or something like that. So you're trusting the guy. I trust technology more than a person I trust the guy Earl Good guy rep three four five nine. Yeah, no, but yeah, so you never have any you never write that down Oh, okay. Oh, it's your confirmation. I do I do So hard to get the guy now. Yeah, now. Well Earl said how it is. Yeah, cuz of your generation We got a wrap it up. Yeah, we love you to death. Mm-hmm come out see the boys at a live show. Yeah, all right, and we will See you next week