The Schedule Release Scam: Trading NFL Logic for Soccer Rules (Feat. Ethan Strauss)

Hi, and hello, football fans. You hear the big news? The 2026 NFL schedule's been released. Yeah, I know it was released already in January, but now it's been done in a two hour primetime special up and down your television dial. And yeah, they already told us all the big primetime games and the holiday games, because those were leaked out during the week, but still primetime specials. And the thing that's striking to me about this is it's not the biggest time waster on the perennial pro football media schedule. I think in contention is reviewing strength of schedule for the upcoming year based on last year's results, which I'm almost positive have no impact on the upcoming game results. Also a time waster draft grades made by the same people who just did all the mock drafts that you looked at. So if the team drafted the guy that the mock drafters suggested they take, I bet you that team gets a good grade. And I bet you the teams that didn't take the guy that the mock drafter suggested they take get a bad grade, but let's indulge those draft grades just the same. Also in-game player and coach interviews, what are we doing with this? Doesn't this steal from the drama that we seek when we watch big time sporting events? I don't like people talking to me when the game's on. Leave these guys alone. They're trying to focus in, don't you know? Number one though, I think the biggest time waster is in May, before Memorial Day, you understand, going up to a big board in the studio and looking at the 17 games awaiting your NFL team and going through it week by week and asserting a win or a loss to each. It's May. You don't know who's gonna be available. You don't know who's gonna be hurt. Who's gonna get picked up. Who's gonna retire. You don't know any of it. What a time waster. By the way, we also don't need to hear from the beat reporters upon hearing what the schedule is that your team that you cover has a prime time game, which means you have to work at night. One, it's a humble brag. Two, no one gives a crap. You're not doing work. Work is picking up heavy stuff. You talking about writing into a microphone, otherwise about football, that's called cheating life. So shut up. Also, we don't need to hear the hilarious joke every single football season. And now we get another bite at that same apple in May because they do the big schedule release and everybody takes the social media to say, well, I guess you could say goodbye to your wife and kids because that Thanksgiving slate's pretty good. Dirk, you know what? I'm in a mood. Let's just start the show. Yes, hi and hello, my fellow football Americans. Welcome to Football America, presented as ever by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. We've got a great talker, one of the best in the business, from House of Strauss and beyond, a great NBA talker, a great meditator on the game of life, Ethan Strauss coming up in just a little bit. In the meantime, it's episode number 64. I don't think Gina Fuentes, we really even need to talk about this one. It's so underwhelming, as you say, once you get into the 60s, you're into the offensive linemen. What player wore the number 64 in football and or sports history best? You want to throw one in there? You're welcome to. Randall McDaniel, Gina. You stole my only one. Jerry Kramer from the Packers. You got Jerry Kramer if you want to go way back in time. I got Steve Furness. He wore number 64. I think he got rings in Super Bowl 13 and 14, I'm pretty sure. He replaced. How about that? We talked about Fats Holmes number 63 on episode number 63. And his, I think, pretty clean replacement was Steve Furness along with John Banasak. Either way, nobody cares about all that, Pap. They do care about the schedule release. And I'm back now in my usual spot in Los Angeles after a great week in Miami, filling in for Dan Lebatard, who happened to be in LA last week. Go back and listen to all the great stuff he did with the comedians and otherwise. Last week, we had a good time at home base. I did with the Fuentes boys and Buddy Bedowski and everybody else. And we did a uniform ranking with our pals Amin Elhassen and Mike Ryan Ruiz. So go back and listen to that. A lot of feedback from you. We appreciate that. And as far as that goes, please do us a favor. Subscribe on YouTube. And wherever you find your audio podcasts, and leave us some likes and some comments and all that stuff. It's deeply helpful to us. We appreciate that. But I'm sorry to belly ache, but I said I'm in a mood. And here's just part of the reason why. On my flight back. Five hour flight, five hour plus flight. The couple right in front of me in my row. I'm in coach because I'm a man of the people, you see. The people right in front of me would shame the devil if they would have been in my row. And I had been in the middle seat here. But right in front of me, a couple, probably about 65-ish, both heavy, heavy mag of face, a lot of Botox, Deep Tans, all the rest of it. They come back and the lady, by the way, has a dog, one of those fur ball kind of dogs in her arm. She needs it for, I guess, for her self-care. And there's a guy when they get to the row, he's sitting in the middle seat, that's his seat. And the lady sneaks by him to go to the window. And then the guy goes, sorry, I don't like sitting in the middle seat. And so he sits on the aisle. And now, for the next five hours, I know it's coming. Maybe the naive guy who's sitting in the middle seat doesn't get it in the moment. But I would have thrown a fit right then and there. I would say, all right, you guys can sit on the window and the aisle. And I'll sit here in the middle in between the two of you. But you better not try to talk to each other. Cause if that happens, then it's on. And guess what they did? They talked back and forth the whole time. And by the way, she put that pooch down and the pooch ran around all over the place. No, no. But bugging people, licking little kids feet. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have questions, I have questions. So the guy, the older couple, they paid for the window and the middle and the guy who's sitting in the middle told the other guy, I'm not gonna sit in the middle. That's what happened? No, no, no. Okay, say it last time. The guy whose seat assignment was the middle seat was left in the middle seat. And the couple sat on either side of him for a five hour flight. I get it, they asked for those seat assignments. But you're a human being and when you see, well, there's a stranger in between us. You don't get to then do both things. You don't get to have your cake and some pie. You don't get to sit in your couple's seats. But then also talk across the guy for the whole flight. This is a lose, lose situation. What happened was female in question sat at the window and they bought the aisle seat hoping nobody would buy that middle seat, who wants to sit in there. Sure, okay. And the other guy, he needs to get where he's going. So he's like, I gotta take this middle. And then the other guy, see that's where the other guy, he needs to be like, I wanna talk to my wife. Correct. And I offer you this. But then he was stubborn and he needed to insist. So everybody loses, everybody. No, and the worst behavior here, Dave, is obviously letting your dog run around a flight. Like that is verifiably insane. Like if you're gonna have a dog on a plane, your dog is either sitting on your lap the entire time because it's, maybe you gave it a calming pill or something to fly with. Or it's in one of those carrying cases, right? That for small dogs that fits either under the seat in your lap, whatever, to let a dog run around and annoy other people while they're flying is some of the worst flying behavior I think I've ever heard in my entire life. It's insane. I don't know if that's America in 2026, bro. No one has. I don't know if it's a felony to do that, but it is definitely against the rules. It has to be. It's 100% against the rules. And I do think that it is some sort of violation of the literal American laws in place because that dog is running around. And I think it licked a little kid's foot legitimately a couple rows away because as we're de-planing, it was even slower than usual. And what's going on? Why aren't we not getting off this plane? We're at the thing. I can see the Skyway thing is extended. So what's the holdup here? A couple of badged kind of plain closed people come onto the plane and then they walk back and I'm like, oh, what the hell? Who did what here? And they stop at the couple and say, we understand there was an incident with the dog and we need to talk with you about that. And the lady goes, he was a perfect gentleman the whole flight. The dog was a perfect gentleman the whole flight. This is what we're dealing with. And the long story short, Mike, this is American 2026. How about this? They get off the plane before everybody else because their dog had a valid. We have to talk with you. We have to talk with you. They get the first ones off the plane. Like an expert strategy from that woman because once we're 40,000 feet, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? He was a perfect gentleman. He got me in the dog. Yeah, you know, and then all you gotta do is when the agents come, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I don't know, he's not usually like this. I don't like, oh, I'm so sorry. No, but she said perfect gentleman. Yeah, yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. Oh, I don't know. I don't know what happened. And then boom, you're off, Scott, free. What are they gonna do? Dave, here's my question. The only threat is no fly list, right? When we land on the no fly list, that's the only thing that's gonna act people get right. That's the only thing. But here's my question as well. What if there's somebody on the plane that's allergic to dogs and this dog runs up to the person with allergies and all of a sudden the dog person has an allergic reaction to a dog? By the way, I assume that's why there's that, why it's some sort of a violation in the sky. I'm looking at American Airlines here. It says that in order to carry a dog, your dog has to remain in the carrier underneath the seat. So they won't even let you sit with your dog in your lap. Also, that's all recycled there. If anyone on that plane has an allergic reaction to the dog, it could happen in the back row, it could happen in the first class, it could happen anywhere. And clearly these people just don't care about it. Anybody but themselves. Well, that's the obvious point there. My dog is perfect. All right, I wanna talk about the, I mean, I don't wanna talk about it, but I guess since it's a different course show, can we stay on the airport etiquette? Cause isn't it, coach is now just economy, right? They wanna like soften it up. And then first class is business, right? I don't think that's exactly right. I think first class is still first class. I'm looking at them. And then there's businesses in between. I think it's like a middle class. And then the bums like me are in economy. Continue with your football show. I'll let this up. Okay, well, we do have to talk about the schedule release. And as it happens, I do like the Thanksgiving schedule. And so I'm sorry to react to that. That is always what I look at first is, well, I look at my favorite football team. But then I look at the Thanksgiving slate because we're all gonna be gathered around the TVs watching it all day. So it's important to know who we're gonna be looking at. It feels like it's more or less the same games over here. We'll get to it. I mean, yes, there are two teams that play every year on Thanksgiving. Well, we'll get to that in a second. Very quickly, a new segment I'm breaking out, Over Under. I know it's the height of creativity. Over Under, I'm gonna tell you things that are overrated and underrated. On this week's list, overrated. I was in a restaurant the other night and we go kid-friendly, family-friendly places. And family-friendly places often serve fajitas. It's weird, fajitas smell so good. And there's a lot of, get a lot of turned heads. Like, ooh, look at the smoke. They're fancy people. It's sizzling and everything. Like you feel like the bell of the ball for a couple of minutes when they bring you over that dish. But when it gets to the actual eating, fajitas are a little underwhelming. How say you? I love fajitas. Yeah, I grew up a big fajita guy and it's true. Like part of it is show. You know, you get the sizzle and everybody's like, ooh, three words, Dave. You know what they are. Oolah and la. Exactly, yeah. I think that, but then I eat it and then I go like, eh, eh, eh. Those are my three words. What would oolah and la be in Spanish? Oy. My favorite thing about French and soccer announcers is, I hear a lot of French soccer announcers because I like PSG and they scream in the middle of games. They'll just scream, oolah, la, oolah, la. Like a guy will make a nice move around and then, and then when they score, they'll scream oolah, la, oolah, la. Dave's thing. So good. Here's a quick story about French. I'm in Paris, never been to France, right? I get a little brave. Steelers saints in Paris. Yeah, in Paris. I go, I'm a little brave, right? I hear, I said some French words. I got some stuff done. In an Uber, I get dropped off. I go to the guy, oh, Merci on my way out. He hits me with Merci and then a full paragraph after that. I go, ah, and I run away. That's it. That was my whole story. I hated it. I didn't know how to react. I was like, oh my God, I've been up more than I can chew. I don't get a word you said after taking. Exactly. I was like, ah, all right, I'm out of here. That happens to me with Spanish sometimes because sometimes I speak very, very, very little Spanish and obviously in Miami, it's basically all you hear. And I will sometimes use a little bit of my Spanish and that will open the door for somebody who assumes I speak a lot of Spanish. And then I screw myself completely and I'm sitting there frazzled. But back to fajitas. I don't know, David, something about making the thing with the grilled onions. I get my perfect amount of guacamole. They smell delicious. Yeah, and I make it exactly how I want. The problem is always run out of tortillas. Never enough tortillas. Yeah, that's another thing you have to grapple with. I just, just in the things that are prepared at the side of the table and the stuff that has a little show that goes along with it. I abide by the Benny Hanagai. I still enjoy that show and the food is delicious. I like the Caesar at the side of the table. That's very good. And guacamole table side, also delicious. Just in the rankings, fajitas among that particular food group at the bottom. Another one, when it comes time for dessert, the most overrated dessert on the planet Earth. Chocolate lava cake. No, it's tiramisu. Oh, oh. There are, I think, at last check, four dozen different ways to prepare tiramisu where you can call a bunch of ingredients slapped together. You can call it tiramisu and it can look like a cookie or it can look like a pudding or it can look like a slice of cake. And every time, like I say, it gets a big C minus. I don't think it sucks. I don't think it's terrible. I just don't think it's worthy of the praise that it gets universally, it seems to me. No, you're right. I don't think it's, there are better Italian desserts in my eye than tiramisu. I think a tiramisu is just like a different kind of cake. I've recently come on to tiramisu. So it's funny you guys are saying this. No, no, no. You know, and also I don't like, Yeah, it's disgusting. You know what I don't like? Creme brulee, not a big fan. Oh, I like a creme brulee. Really? You like it? Well, you like it, because you like it at serve at the table. I like a pudding. Yeah, and a little blow torch and a little crack on top. No, I find that while pudding. Yeah, you don't like the pop and circus fans. I think that they have to break up. No, I don't like the dance. Yeah, I don't. So what you're telling us is you don't like, you don't like foods with pomp and circumstance, except Benihana, except obachi food. That's the only food with pomp and circumstance that you like. I told you I like a Caesar salad. I already told you, listen up, buddy, Badowski. One more thing that's overrated. Do you like the pasta in the cheese wheel? Like a, like a caccio e pepe in the cheese wheel? I do like that cheese thing. I don't like when my kids were being born, when the baby comes out and then they're like, hey, dad, you want to cut the cord? Like, no, no, you're professionals. You're doctors, you do it. Man, I don't know what you're doing. I have no medical training. I've no medical training. You should not be asking me to do it. It's deceptively hard to get through it too. I agree with you. I'm sure it is. It's really hard to get through. Yeah, it's a giant cord. Next time I'll tell the guy, hey, I'll cut this and then you go do a show on Thursday with Dave and then we'll call it even. You feel terrible, you feel terrible. Cause yeah, it's not a clean cut, Gino. But another one is overrated with all due respect and maybe the Australian Open and tennis is a little lame but the PGA championship is pretty bad. It's one of the four majors. It's one of the four majors and it's basically like the US Open but not as good. They used to do decades and decades ago. It used to be match play. That's a distinguishing feature, you see. Have some dignity. See. Stand out on your own PGA championship. Go back to match play. Now you'll matter to people a lot more than you used to. Instead of going from August into May which is apparently the solve for that. I don't know exactly what that corrects. Do what I'm saying, match play. I never knew it was match play before, Dave. I've always wondered what the distinguishing feature is because the Masters is obviously the Masters. It's a GUS national. It's got the whole pomp and circumstance. The Open, you play on a Lynx course which they never do any other time of the year. The US Open has the thing with the super, the most difficult courses in the country with the super thick rough. But what is the defining feature of the PGA championship other than that it's technically the championship of the tour? Like I never, I never got it. Make them all play or maybe do like a thing like you sometimes see golfers do this. Like the whole round the golf has to be played with a six iron. Everybody that's only club you get. Something like that. That's good. That's good. Stand out. That's good. That's good. That's good. Take the caddy out of it. Everybody would know. Everybody would know. Like I can't wait for the PGA championship. It'd be kind of like a COVID title. It would be not, it would count the same but it would be something different than all the other titles that have been won. Now because I'm just nothing but piss and vinegar. I wanna show that I do remain a great empath and tell you about something underrated in society. And that is the men of the Alpha Beta fraternity at Adams College. The Adams Adams football team. Pretty much all the guys in the Alpha Beta fraternity were on the Adams Adams football team. And we lost Ogre. Maybe the enduring legend, the enduring icon of the nerd bullies at Adams College way back when we lost Ogre, passed away, the actor did. But a shout out to all of them. You know, Stan Gable, the quarterback, the toe-headed, everybody's all-American guy was in fact an all-American quarterback. And when they show the practice with John Goodman out on the big fancy field and all of that, there are 20 guys total on the team. These guys, I mean, these guys are, some of those guys obviously by definition are playing on both sides of the ball. And still, they have all-Americans on that team. I mean, that's gumption, really. That's overcoming the odds. And at the same time, they're the big men on campus. And so that comes with a certain amount of prestige. You see, they're surrounded by all the good-looking women and everything, but that's not enough for them. This is a message for everybody out there. Never settle. Keep your foot on the gas in life because Stan Gable could have just relaxed with a blonde on either arm and all-American status, but that wasn't enough. No, he and Ogre and the rest of the fellas needed to conquer the nerds. And so they vanquished the nerds or they tried to, they did their goddamn best and came up a little bit short because the lamb to lamb to lamb has went and got some of their friends from other lamb to lamb to lamb to chapters to come and lean on the alphabetas who were underdogs, like I say, and shrunk under that pressure. But no matter, a shout out to Ogre and to Stan Gable for being heroic and never settling and not being all-American, not enough. What more can I do to improve the alphabetas and the Adams-Adams, a shout out to Ogre and to Stan Gable? And have you ever seen Revenge of the Nerds, Mike Fuentes? I was literally just telling Danny, I've only seen it once, so I'm only like getting half of what you told me, but you know what? Gonna rewatch it tonight, cause I was looking for some. I know him as Ray Jackson from Bloodsport. Oh, that's right. He was Ray Jackson in Bloodsport. I know, a lot of people hit me up with that. Down at the Kuma-Tay. Yeah, a lot of people let me know. Dave, have you ever seen the 1996 film The Quest? No, I don't think so. It's another John Claude Van Dam vehicle and it's basically the same thing. He gets invited to a Kuma-Tay, but it has like, now that the World Cup's coming along, it kind of has like that international thing where every country sends a representative and they have a big fight at the end and guess who wins at the end? Can you guess, Dave? Ogre? No, John Claude Van Dam wins. Oh no. Okay, all right. I like the one, I like the Van Dam picture where the guy he fights, where both sides. I mean, it's really an elevated fight when like, dip your hands in glue and then dip your hands in the shards of glass so that when you punch your foe, he gets shards of glass in his mouth or in his cheek or otherwise. Like, it feels to me like this is one of those sporting events where you really wouldn't have any winners. Like, you wouldn't really win. You would just be less messed up. But I get what you're going for, Mike Flentes. What you're trying to do is transition us into a conversation that you've made me aware of that there are some things with the World Cup coming that maybe pro football could steal from soccer. Before we do that very quickly, because we are a football show, I wanna get into that. Anybody wanna weigh in with some highlight to get me a little more enthusiastic about the schedule release here in May, even though we already knew all these games were gonna be played four months ago. Now we just know when they're going to be played. I got one. I mean, the fact that they're gonna send San Francisco and the Rams down to Australia to start the season. Oh, that. And then they're gonna make them fly back across the world and then fly, you know, the NFC West flies more than any other division usually. So on top of that, they got this trip to Australia to start the season. But what's the 16 hour flight? It's a long time. Fuck Australia. They're gonna be playing around noon over there, but it's gonna be 8 p.m. to us, which is strange. But, Gino, while I think it's maybe a scooch overrated, cause I used to get in the head like, well, you standardly have to have a buy the week after playing in London, and that always was the way, but the Browns last year played. This is even worse. This is worse, but I also think it's a little overstated. People in Pittsburgh are very upset already about, wait, why do the Steelers have to play the week after they play the Saints in Paris? It's like, it's not that big a difference in flights. No, it's not. Longer. Well, it's like, you know, it's basically like 2,500 miles versus 4,000 miles. If the Steelers played in Los Angeles, it's 2,500 miles, or if they played in Seattle, it's about the same. And when they go to play in Paris, I think it's like 4,000 miles. Yeah, but that's the difference. So it's not that much. It's just the time difference. Australia is like literally the direct opposite side of the planet. Well, I also think that that's what Roger Goodell just did. Like Roger was like, oh, you want to complain, Kyle Shanahan? Here you go, take two in their nap. Who else was going to play over there though? That's, those are the two closest teams to Australia. Like those are the two teams that it would be the least bad for, like if you're flying a New York team out there, that's a whole day flight to Australia, hypothetically. I am, you know, we talked with our pal, handsome Hank Hodgson, the king of all these international games, and I'm very happy for him. And that is the goal, obviously, of the NFL. But I'm hearing more than I ever have before. Maybe it's because of the ubiquity of these international games now and being played in, it feels like every corner of the big blue marble this year. I mean, Australia and Madrid, now Paris is new, and now back to Mexico City and all of that. And people seem raw about that, but what it should tell you is that whatever other excuses they come up with for a 17th game or an 18th game and why they're put in, I mean, you know, what more do you need to know? It's not a hot take to say these professional leagues like making as much money as they possibly can. I do think it has crossed the line a little bit with Thanksgiving. Now there's a Wednesday game. So there's a Wednesday night game. Thanksgiving football. Ridiculous. It is, by the way, the traditional start to checker season every year. Once you get to Wednesday, the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, through the cloak of nightfalling on January 1, that's checker season, because that's when football gets here, when the big football games get here, and playoff time's about to begin. In college, too, all the rivalry games are going back. NBA's back, NHL is back. It's the sweet spot. You get to go out and get drunk while you're at work. Even the boss encourages you to do it. Or you don't even show up to work. People are giving each other gifts here, there, and everywhere. It's the best. But now we have a football game, and we don't need that. It's gilding the lily, but it's the Packers at the Rams. And then your traditional games, so I guess it now counts as traditional, have three games. Bears at Lions, Eagles at Cowboys, and then the nightcap. Maybe since Steelers at Ravens, this is the best night game in Thanksgiving that I can think of. KC Chiefs at Buffalo Bills. G-Doo seems to be the best. Oh, that's good. That's good. And in the new stadium, too. And I do like that game earlier, like in the fall, because I don't want to see the Chiefs offense bog down in the snow. I don't want to see that. Nobody hates no football more than Funtas. No, I want. Nobody hates no football more than that. Why do I want Premier Athletes hampered? I mean, I don't want to get into this again. I don't want to get into that either. But I will tell you, your Black Friday game, or I guess your Black and Gold Friday game, Broncos at Steelers, Pittsburgh Steelers, there's your marketing tip. NFL Black and Gold. Speaking of the Broncos, they also are the last game on Christmas as they are hosting the Buffalo Bills. And the game before that, another banger, the Packers at Bears. But those two big probabilities for ugly snow games. And you want to talk holiday games, New Year's Eve, we get the Bengals and Ravens, which you can almost guarantee we'll have at least one backup quarterback. We talked last week about the different ways that the NFL divisions could be constructed a little bit to dry the jazzy up a little bit. And I know rivalry is important. Nobody loves rivalries more than I do. But then that led to us offline talking about how the World Cup works. And then for some reason, that led us into a conversation, again, all offline, because we like to talk to each other, even when the microphones aren't hot. We then started talking about relegation. And how much I love that's the best thing in soccer is the idea in the Premier League, is the idea of relegation. I don't think you could figure out a way to make it work for pro football, right? We all agree on that. No, we're a capitalist society here. And there's no minor leagues in football. I think he has the best is that the NFL is the top, top, top, top, top, and there's nothing else that comes close. So you'd basically just be serving up one of these teams to get their shit kicked in and go straight back down. So you could either send them back to college? We can't send them back to college. So we could either send them to Canada, or we can send them down to the U of F. OK, I would agree with the Canada thing. You got to change your rules. No more of this running start shit. Put the goalpost in the back. All right, let's let's hypothetically. We're done with this Mickey Mouse football. You could combine the U of F and the CFL. U of F can go to hell. All right, CFL, real rules. That's it. I don't want to offend my Canadian friends, or as Jimmy Kimmel called Canada once America's hat. Obviously, I love Canadian teams and people who come from Canada and play for my favorite teams and all of that. I've said it before, I'll say it again. I understand there's a rich history in the CFL. Nobody cares, clearly, because you only have eight teams in the whole thing. And I know that they're not still both called by the same name, but two of the teams were called Rough Riders for way too long, and it was embarrassing. And it marginalized your league. And now here we are. Just become the NFL's minor league. And then one of your teams, the reward will be you get to join the NFL and the worst team in the NFL instead of tanking. And this will leave. If you want to do 17 games, Roger Goodell, to make more money, obviously, and you're going to add an 18th game, why for more money? Not because it will be more compelling to the fans. It'll be more money for you and the owners. That's why you want to do it. Obviously, what happens is last December, as an example, I felt like was it, the games didn't matter as much as they typically do based on the combo of the extra game and the extra team on either side of the playoff bracket. It all led up to teams playing game, lost seasons for teams. So some teams kind of sort of trying to lose games, and the other team knowing that they're safely positioned for January and taking their foot off the gas a little bit. The solve to that is, at least in part, NBA's trying to figure out anti-tanking stuff too. The anti-tanking thing would be like, you're going to get relegated if you don't cut the shit. That would work in the NBA. I was going to say, nobody needs it more than the NBA, Dave. But I mean, imagine if the Toronto Argonauts all of a sudden were in the NFL and the Cleveland Browns were in the CFL, it would be funny. It would be a great punishment. It would be an indignity that it would be hard to wash off. It wouldn't be an indignity. It's the amount of TV money they would lose. Because that's what happens in the Premier League when teams get relegated. They lose a ton of TV money, a ton of gate. And then, of course, this is why it would never happen. Because why would a billionaire sign up to lose money? So that's the issue. I think the league that it would be the most obvious league would work in is Major League Baseball, where they would just go down a AAA. And then teams from AA would come up to AAA. I think that would be cool because it would add an element of competition in the minors doesn't really matter. Nobody really cares who wins those games. Now all of a sudden, you care who wins those games. Because you can be up in AAA. And then you can have your prospects that are in AA. All of a sudden, they're playing against AAA guys. Well, like I said, for the CFL. And it's your games. Better. Your games are way more valuable if you're one of the little brothers. Right, exactly. But also, like I say, it solves more really. Like I've talked about, the NFL is, if you want to understand socialism by looking at our professional sports leagues, the NFL is the closest comp to that salary cap. And parity and all of that. You feed the worst team in the league the best of players you've ever had in college, yes. All that kind of stuff. In baseball, they're about to go on strike because of this, essentially. Maybe this is a little, well, I know it's simplistic. But doesn't that solve baseball's issue? Is like, OK, you ain't going to spend to be good. You're going to wind up getting relegated because there will be a team. I think that would spook you enough that you don't want to get relegated because now you're really, really going to lose money. You think you can benefit from all the rev sharing that as it is in Major League Baseball, but not spend to a certain floor? Well, think again, because you're going to be in AAA. And you ain't going to make that money no more. I think that would be a good way to do it. But all right, like I said. I have a question, though. Minor League teams. Is it owned by like? Yeah, no, no, no. It's owned by individuals. Individuals own. Yeah, because I know they're affiliated, right? Because I was thinking like. You have to drop the affiliations. Yeah, that one. Yeah, it's a conflict of interest. But like if the Yankees owned like multiple teams, wouldn't it be like, all right, we're just going to pump the minor league teams with a bunch of money, get rid of some of these losers like the Marlins. And then I have multiple major league teams. They would have to drop affiliations. They would not be allowed to buy minor league teams. But then you'd have a lot of fun. Like in the Europe where you're buying players. Right, exactly. That would be a lot of fun where teams from, you know, you're buying the prospects from these lower leagues. And now all of a sudden you're trying to get them right before they blow up, you know what I mean? And then you have a guy on a AAA team or a lower team in the major leagues. But then also the coolest thing would be minor league teams. Minor league teams going and playing at Fenway Park, hypothetically. How bad could you screw up? What do you mean? Like, no one would care about that. I don't know if this is the failing that you point at. It's like, well, this is why you could never do it for any number of other reasons. But what if you are, let's say, the Indianapolis Indians, trying to, and you're trying to ascend into the majors, but the major league team you feed is the pirates. There's no team called the Indians anymore. What are they called now? No, they are. They're still Ammius now. They're pretty still that the minor league baseball team is still the Indianapolis Indians. They have 26 sensibilities. Yeah, I need to get with the time. Checking. Sorry, continue. Okay, I mean, I don't know what we're trying to do. No, they're still the Indianapolis Indians. They are. Yeah. Anyway, Indianapolis Indians, if they win the pirates then start poaching those guys, well, I get the good players. Just call them up so that they don't win the title because they're gonna replace us otherwise. Well, see, Dave, in Europe, we have these things called Farmer teams, farmer clubs, and basically, are they good teams? Yeah, they always tend to have good talent, but then you might get one or two seasons, and then the big boys start calling, and the big money comes out. Right, now, Valvin. Okay, this is what I wanna know about. Monaco 27th, you get up with, yeah, you end up with teams right at the top, which is arguably one of the bad things about European soccer is the clubs with money, they cannibalize the ones at the bottom. Okay, but isn't, I mean, the Yankees did that to the Royals forever too. They do it to everybody. And the Yankees did that to baseball, and the Dodgers have done that for the last decade to the rest of baseball as well. The things that I like, you told me that in Europe, that, I forget which league you said it was. That, you know, I've lived in Bloomington, Indiana, and Chicago, Illinois, and Los Angeles, but I remain provincial, and my favorite city on the Big Blue Marble remains Pittsburgh, PA, and my interests remain provincial, and not just with my sports teams, but specific to them, I would love it if I would be prouder of them still when, you know, I advocated that the Steelers take Kenny Pickett, and people are like, ah, I don't think he's gonna be that good. I said, you gotta take the swing spiritually. He's the Pitt QB, if he works out, it's that much greater for the Pittsburgh Steelers that the guy walked across the hallway from the Pitt locker room to the Steelers locker room, and delivered glory. You have to take those swings, and people are like, who cares? What difference does it make? Well, then who cares about anything? Now we are just straight up rooting for Laundry. Anything that removes us, it creates a little distance of the effect of us just rooting for Laundry. I'm all four. I say, okay, you couldn't make your teams entirely out of locals all over the country. NFL would stink. Every team in Florida and California and Texas would dominate the rest of football America. But what about if you had to have like five guys, three guys, something like that from your city, from your region on the team? I like that, and you told me, Mike Fuentes, that that does happen in at least one European soccer league. I think it was England was having this issue where they didn't like that the top teams were mostly dominated by foreign imports, so they tried to implement a thing called, I think it was five plus one or something like that, you know, help me out here, where they had to start like five or six English guys and they'd fill out the rest of the roster. But apparently the MLS currently has a rule where they have to start, or have a couple of American guys. I think you have to have six US players on the roster. There are also clubs like... Is that right? Yeah, but guess what? They get around that, all the guys that started from San Francisco. Isn't that like half the team? Yeah. That's half the team, right? How many do you carry? I think that's about a third of the team, maybe a fourth of the team. Yeah, and then you just, the rest, the American guys ride the bench, and then all the foreign guys start. And then... 22. Yeah, 22. What do you need? Don't you only have eight guys on the field at one time? What do you need 22 people? No, you have 11 guys on the field at the same time. Everyone has a backup. Everyone has a backup. And then you have an emergency guy, just in case two keepers get hurt. Cut this from the show. I can't be that big in it. I'm excited. There are all the world cups around the corner. You're almost there. Pretty soon we'll be hosting football in America. And then, you know, I gotta get the music for that. There are also some clubs in... There's one club in particular that's famous for this. Athletic Bilbao is a club in the Basque country in Spain. And you can... They can only have players from the Basque country. They're not allowed to have players. Self-imposed. Self-imposed. This is a self-imposed policy that they want only Basque players. So they have all of the players from the... All of the best players from the Basque region, but they can only have players from that area. Yeah. As I've told you, for a quarter century, the original six in the NHL, the Canadians won all the Stanley Cups because... All the Quebec players. Yes, you had negotiating... You had dibs on negotiating with your local players over all the other teams. That's why the New York Rangers were... Were direct in the original six area because who was playing hockey in Manhattan? Now they were all playing in a Montreal air go, a straight line. As far as that goes, again, like I say, I like regionality. And while Notre Dame and USC are talking about renewing their rivalry and Celtics and Lakers was meaningful in the 80s and perpetuated the NBA and took it to another level, just like Steelers Cowboys did for the NFL in the 70s, I'm all about these rivalries. I also think as we look at football America and the divisions, we've accepted the framework that the Dallas Cowboys, who are 2,000 miles away from Philadelphia and New York and Washington, D.C., are nevertheless in the NFC East. What would it look like, though? Gino Fuentes, you did some good work on this. You took some time on the side, did some homework. And you realigned the division so that they make more geographic sense, right? Oh, yeah, I got this idea from MLB on Fox. I think there were starting discussions on what would the divisions look like if they added two more teams to Major League Baseball? Don't give anybody else credit. Say it was your idea. Okay, I can put that on myself. That's right, exactly. Okay, so anyway, they put everything into it. They would have 32 teams at that point, so NFL has 32 teams, and they realigned everything in geographical sense, and they said, screw this whole American League and NL thing. Yeah. Okay, so as a control here, let's put up the... This is how it is right now. Get to the point, Gino. You're getting that potential. No, get off his back. Get off his back. This is how it is right now. Some people care about clocks around here. I say, screw the NFC, screw the AFC. I went Western and Eastern Conference, so let's go ahead and change it up. Okay. So now... And so this is how I... I like the logos. This is how I rearranged it, and I said, you know, NFC and AFC doesn't make sense anymore. Western and Eastern Conference. And so I'm going to read this off because, you know, we got an audio audience here, too. Northwest is going to be your Denver Broncos, your Raiders, your 49ers, and your Seahawks. Easy enough to understand. I like that division. Yes, there are some things that naturally is going to create conflict. Yes, you will have to wash off some of the past rivalries. You do maintain some good ones. I am naming that division to lure people in a little bit. We'll get to your names. We'll get to your names in a second once I'm done here. That way we can all throw it up in one big graphic. Because we have a lot of graphics, Dave. Now, back to the thing. Geno, give me the Midwest. Okay, so then we're going to go to the Midwest division here. We're going to have Bears, Packers, Chiefs, and Vikings. So you basically just ousted the Lions and you threw in the Chiefs. Okay, Southwest... We talked about this. Chiefs out there in a kind of no-man's land. Yeah, they are. I'm just about the same. Middle-nowhere types. They're not really West. They're kind of in the middle of the country. They're more East of anything. Anyway, you got to go Southwest. We're going to finally put the Dallas Cowboys closer to where they belong. And they're going to be in there with the Cardinals, the Chargers, and the Rams. Southwest division. Soup Campbell had an interesting thought on this. The Cowboys are sort of their own day. You know, they love to call themselves America's team. Obviously, that's just alleged. It's not the reality. But either way, they are the Notre Dame of the NFL. Maybe we should treat them like Notre Dame and they're just independent. Love that idea. They're not in any division. They would get screwed every year. They would just be playing the hardest schedule. Made for TV schedules every year. I don't know how they get into the playoffs exactly if they're an independent. They can't do that now. Would imagine how awesome that schedule would be where it's just Cowboys Steelers, Cowboys Packers, Cowboys Chiefs, Cowboys. You know what I mean? Just all of the legacy games, playing all of the good quarterbacks, it would be so awesome. I do think that's a funny idea even though it doesn't really make any sense. They get into the postseason. You might as well make all the money again. Gino, central. Let's go back. Central, we're still in the West. I'm sure the Cowboys think they just deserve to be in the playoffs. They probably are here. Jerry Jones. So does Notre Dame. Jerry Jones would love it. All right, central division in the West. We're going to do Bengals, Texans, Colts, and Titans. OK, Northeast. OK, we're going to the Eastern Conference here. In the Northeast. That's a new AFC South. In the Northeast, we're going to take the Dolphins out of the Northwest East because I am tired of having to go up and play in the snow at the end of every season because the other three teams are up in New York and New England. So the Northeast is now the Patriots, the Giants, and the Jets are both in there together, and they're in there with the Eagles. Yes. That would be a fun division. They would love it. A lot of short travel. A lot of short travel. Conversely, we send the Dolphins down to the Southeast because that's where they belong. And we're going to be in there with all the Florida teams. So Jags, Dolphins, Buccaneers. And we're going to throw the Saints in there too because everybody deserves a ride to get hit by a hurricane. OK, see, so this is probably my only beef here, right? Because now you have the Atlantic, which I'm going to say it has the Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore, Carolina, and Washington. The ACC. Yeah, yeah. And the ACC. Jacksonville. Stone's throw away from Atlanta. Stone's throw. So that's the only one. But then I get it. Where do you put them without them? And then the last one you have there is Great Lakes, which is the Bills, Browns, Lions, and Steelers. This is the one that Dave cares about. Yeah, yeah. And that would suck for Dave because now you got to deal with the Lions and the Bills. Yeah, that would really suck. Well, there'll be a bin flow. We'll have to deal with a rugged schedule. I'm going to say as they sit now. Yeah, as they sit. But you get to beat up on the Browns still, Dave. You still get to beat up on the Browns, which is nice. Dave saw this. He said, I love it. But I hate the division names. Let's go ahead and change it to luminaries. Dave, take it away. OK, I will say that the Rust Belt, of course, the Bungles are the Bungles, and the Ravens is the best rivalry. And that's going to be hard to move on from that. But man, the Rust Belt rivalries, who rules that region of the country would become everything, and it wouldn't take a generation to achieve that effect. In the same way college football used to have that, and gave it up, again, in favor of Lute. But what was great about college football that we've sort of gotten away from is that regional pride. I make fun of people who are proud of the SEC if you're Vanderbilt. Like, we did it. You didn't do anything Vanderbilt. Alabama did it. But still, I get the notion of being proud of your region in society. So I think that would be cool. In the Northwest, that division will be called the Mookie Blalock. I didn't want to name it after a band or anything specifically, but Pearl Jam's original name was, of course, the Mookie Blalock. What was Mookie Blalock? And I always thought that was funny, even though Mookie got into some ugly behavior. We're going to call this division the Mookie Blalock. The Southwest is the Dodger. Because as long as the Cowboys are in it, Roger, you know, Roger the Dodger, Roger Stahback, and then the Dodgers, of course, the Titan of the West Coast in sports. So I think that makes sense. In the Midwest, the Butkus, for obvious reasons, sounds tough. We could call it the Dick, if you prefer that. The central is the Mayflower, because the Colts, when they left Baltimore, took Mayflower moving trucks. And three of the four teams in that division are moving. So that's the Mayflower. The Northeast is the Bledsoe. Of course, our opinion of the Patriots drew Bledsoe getting hurt. So let's give him that honorific. Yeah, I would have called this the Breed. But you're about your asshole, so go ahead. I'm not being an asshole. Brady has enough going for him. Let's give Bledsoe something. That's the point. The Southeast, we can call it the Fernando, because Fernando now owns the state of Florida, and I think pretty much all of college football America. Or we could call it the Means Less, because it's pro football in SEC country. And by definition, pro football means less down there. The Great Lakes, which includes the Steelers are calling it the Mean Joe, because they're the team that matters most there. And the Atlantic, we call the Beltway, because of its location, or the Brown. And I can't remember why I named it the Brown, but there must be a good reason why. Why did I name it the Brown? Something to do with shit, I'm sure. Maybe. Who's in the Beltway again? Why was in the Beltway? You had the Falcons, Ravens, Panthers, and Commanders. Yeah, the Kammys. Why did I want to call it the Brits? I thought it was the right name. Dave, that's a really great question. I can't quite give you an answer. You know what's gonna happen? I had a good reason. Dave's gonna be on the toilet later, drop the Brown. And he's gonna go, oh yeah. I'm gonna text like a nine o'clock at night. Oh yeah, that's why. All right, so Ethan. That's not what's going on. That's based on disgust on Dave. And so Ethan had a similar idea. He's like, you know what, I like this luminary talk, but I hate the conference thing. And he just wanted division, so Ethan could take it away. It's less that I hate conferences and more that I just, this is just how I want the NFL to look. Like if I could have the NFL look a certain way and have the divisions be a certain way, this is how I would want it to look. So I went with some luminaries. We're gonna start with the Ditka division. I left this division exactly as this. There are two divisions you'll see on here that are exactly as they were from, are exactly as they are in the current NFL. It's the NFC North and the NFC East. They are two perfect divisions, perfectly aligned, perfect rivalries. All four rivalries are intense and very good. I didn't want to break them up. So the Ditka division is just the NFC North, the Bears, the Lions, the Packers and the Vikings. You're gonna see that I basically named it after the coolest person from that division. So then the NFC East, I went with the Irvin division because who doesn't love Michael Irvin? Dallas Cowboys, New York Giants, the New York We don't have to call it the East anymore. I'm calling it Irvin division. Exactly. It's a perfect division as it is. So then what I did, Dave, is I took kind of sort of that Midwest, but Northeast kind of like iconic franchise kind of thing. And I went like legacy franchises, I would say. So I went with the Browns, the Colts, the Patriots and the Steelers. And obviously me being me, I didn't want a name of division after Tom Brady. So I went with the Mean Green division because Mean Green, obviously after your boy, that you have one as well, the Mean Joe division. So I went with Mean Green here. Now then I went out West and I made an all California division. There are four California teams. I named this the Montana division because he's Joe Cool, he's the coolest. Are you setting the Raiders back to Oakland? Oh, I forgot that they're not in freaking California anymore. I'm so stupid. But this is, all right, this is the should be playing in the Oops, all California kind of, we used to play in California. So this is the Raiders, the Chargers, the Rams and the San Francisco party Niners. I mean, this would be a really fun division if you look at it because- I agree. These are all three teams that used to play in LA or do play in LA and the Niners. So I would love this California kind of division with the Raiders playing against some of their legacy rivals, one of their legacy rivals as well in the Chargers. All right, then we're gonna go to the Mahomes division, which I had fun with this one because how cool is it that a guy is playing in a division that's named after himself? So I went with, and this one- Not that cool for the other team. Not that cool for the other teams. But that's why I'm guessing this is the Daddy division. No, this is what I did. I just did put all four of the best quarterbacks in the league in the same division. So this is Lamar, Allen, Borough and Mahomes, the Bravins, the Bills, the Bengals and the Chiefs. So it would be fun to watch all those teams play each other twice a year. That would be a lot of fun. Ooh, I like the idea that you structure, that you shake them all up every year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you're playing Boggle. The Boggle division. I like that. That was the last one. No, no, no, the Boggle league. We start fresh every year like, oh, this will be fun to put all those guys in the same division this year. Dave, this is so much- The guys who never win. This is such a better idea than a schedule release. Oh my God, can you imagine? They just- Oh, the division release. Yes, yes. And then they have a ESPN special. Yes. You see who's in your division for that year. Like a World Cup draw. How great is the World Cup draw? It's amazing feeder. The World Cup draw is amazing feeder. You're welcome. We just fixed the league. You know what, throw out my divisions. I just wanna draw everybody into divisions each year. No, no, no, no, but I don't- Gino made the graphic. Yeah. Go ahead, Dave, go ahead. Finish it up. What were you gonna say? I was gonna say, I don't wanna boggle everyone. I want to construct it to my liking every year. Yes, correct. So we're not shaking it up. Dave is going to go into the lab and emerge. Right. Like the Cardinals who meet up with the Pope. You'll just see smoke coming out of my home. And that'll be it. So you can safely say that this division will be the division with the four best quarterbacks for the next one. They've got real high. They came up with a new division. Right. So these will be the four best quarterbacks for the next, let's say, five to six years. So five to six years from now, let's say Lamar follows off a little or maybe my home's gets a little older, you can shake up the division. So let's put the graphic back up here. I forget which one I was on. I think I was on the Moon Division. Yes. Okay, so the Moon Division. Well, I'll do that one last. Let's move to the Merino Division, which is the Jags, the Dolphins, the Jets and the Bucks. This is just what I would want the Dolphins to division to be. It's as easy as possible. Mike, how many divisions does buddy have here? I almost threw the Titans in here to make it really as easy as possible for the Dolphins, but it kind of didn't really line up. So I threw the Bucks in, you get three, four to teams and the Jets. I'm gonna give you 15 seconds to finish. All right, finally, the Vic Division is the Cardinals, the Broncos, the Seahawks. It's basically whoever's left from out west plus the Atlanta Falcons, because I thought it was really funny that the Atlanta Falcons used to play in the West. It didn't make any sense. And then the Moon Division is basically just the leftovers. The Panthers, the Texans, the Saints and the Titans. And there you go, thank you. All right, very good. Good exercise. I like divisions. That's how many divisions there are in the NFL. I did the exact number of divisions there are in the NFL. Good job, everybody. I can just talk. You're, Mike, you didn't make one. So what is your decision? Which one did you like? My main thing was your, well, I mean, it was really just between you and Ethan because Dave just didn't names, but I do like your realignment. The only thing that's kind of weird to me is the Atlanta one, like I pointed out, but where do you put them? Like that's the thing. There's always going to be that one team. And you know who really screws it up? Roman the West, like they did back in the day. He was so stupid. Now that we think about it, the Chiefs. Because you're out there in the middle of nowhere. We don't know, there's no great planes division. If we had like a team and I want to say like Nebraska, and then you give like the Dakotas a combined team, then you just have a nice big, great planes. That's the Chiefs Dallas and these two fantasy teams we just made up. Well, we're going to need a 33rd team because the Cowboys are now our independent. Oh, where would you put a team? No, where would you put a team? Here it is. We recognize Godel's international dreams, Mexico City. Enjoy your team. That's great with me, Mexico City. And we can do that one. Or right, the first season of relegation, no one gets relegated and we just call up one CFL team. Winnipeg is right down the middle in Manitoba. Is it? Yeah, Manitoba is just like over Minnesota. It's up there by the wall from Game of Thrones and the fists of the first men in all those places. It's terrible. Who are the Steelers opening against this year? The Saskatoon, whatever it's they are. I don't know what Saskatoon is. You would never want to see that. Saskatchewan Roughriders, I believe. I have a question. They're Roughriders. Yeah, they are the Roughriders. We've been watching a lot of hockey here, Dave, right? This is totally off the map, but we've been watching a lot of hockey, right? All of us here exist to play us. Doesn't Saskatoon sounds like a place where like a cartoon mouse would be from? Yes. Yeah, like, like. Highmane, question. It has tune in the names. It's like Toontown. Saskatoon. From Saskatoon. As soon as we finish with Ethan Strauss here, I encourage, name, demand, Mike Fuentes, you open up a geography book and delight yourself for the next several hours with all the city names and town names up in Canada. They are, they are, that's the tip of the iceberg, although I do love saying Saskatoon. All right, now let's talk with our guy about all of it, Ethan Strauss. Okay, I'm looking forward to this. I paid a visit to his great podcast, House of Strauss. I don't know about a half a year or so ago. And he and I went back and forth as sports arbiters. I like that role for myself. I like it even better for him because he's one of the sharpest and also most entertaining guys out there on his sub stack. And like I said, the aforementioned podcast, find it on YouTube and wherever you find your podcast, House of Strauss is Ethan Strauss. He's the best. He's the best. House of Strauss is Ethan Sherwood Strauss. What's happening, Pally? Good to talk to you again. I'm more of a on the one on the other hand kind of guy. You get in there to make a quick denunciation or elevate. And I like your decisiveness. And that's why I have been you on as a sports arbiter. Don't you come in here with patronizing stuff comparing me essentially to a poor man, Steven A. That's what you're doing, isn't it? This is exactly what I'm talking about. It's this strong opinion. Figure this one out, arbitrate this for me, not just for you, a San Diego native. San Diego, is that right? Yeah, that's correct. San Diego, that makes sense. Nice and clean. People are often surprised to hear or laugh at when they say, what's a native Pittsburgh person? It's a Pittsburgher. I like it. I think it says something beyond just a name of a native. I also like people from Utah are Utahns. That sounds like something Tom Cruise would get into, Utahns. But I just asked you before we got going here, because you're in the Bay, are you a Niners guy instead of a Chargers guy? And how say you? Totally rejected the Chargers. Feel absolutely nothing for them. I used to when I was in college, I went to college up here, I would drag myself hungover in the mornings and they had EOS games to Laval's bar and while San Diego Chargers games, religiously, for me, that was a connection to San Diego and we moved the team to LA. I am not from LA. I think people from the East Coast, they might, it's a funny thing about the East versus the West where people on the East think cities in the West are closer together than the, and people on the West think that East Coast cities are a lot more apart than they are. LA is a three hour draw. We grew up with this, a little bit of a little bit of a complex that this was the big cosmopolitan place. It wasn't where we're from and I'm not like these Raiders fans who will just, the team, wherever the hell they move it. I don't look that way. So when the Chargers left, I started watching the numbers because I live in the Bay and I just went, I'd rather this, at least there's a connection to a place in my life. You know, I've considered this quite a bit over the last, whatever it's been, quarter century, since the Raiders did the Oakland to LA to Oakland and now Vegas math and almost San Antonio or at least they considered that apparently. Yeah, once they dump you, it's like taking back, well, I mean, I guess there's some in the news relationships that you could do that, but it would be weird to like get dumped for the pretty young blonde down in LA and then go back to the ball and chain in Oakland. And I don't know what that makes Las Vegas and all of this, but I think they're spiritually on solid footing here to abandon the Chargers because that's what they did to you. Yeah, and I have friends, see it differently, our friends who still live in San Diego and colors are the same. The TV market in many ways, there's overlap, the Laker games were on our local TV growing up and presumably still. And so I get it, I get saying, it's those colors, it's the same region I can drive to go to a game. I just looked at it as, I'm from a city, it's a bit of an afterthought. Oddly, status is higher than it was when I was a kid. You hear all the time, oh, San Diego, it was always known as a nice place, but kind of like a retirement vacation spot, nice place. Now it's got a little bit of a pop. And so it mattered to me that the sports team there and them leaving for a more glamorous big city is yes, understandable, but then I think it's equally understandable that would be cause for rejection me. I don't want any party to it. Yes. You have dignity, the only issue is that you've jumped from, you've jumped into a whole new fire with these Niners here because also it's that weird situation. I used to talk about it whatever, a decade or so ago with Chiefs fans, which is boy, one of the great franchises in pro football and deeply important for its rich history and its Lombardi early on and that, yeah, by the way, that one that Len Dawson, one was the last one they won until Patrick Mahomes, now all of a sudden the Niners are kind of in that spot, which is a lot of glory, but it's pretty far in the rear view mirror. And you must know a lot of people up there in the Bay that are, it's, you know, the Chargers never want anything. So it's hard to sort of be, or it's like being a Jets fan versus being a, you know, you, the, the olds have tasted glory, have drunk from the cup, but Niners fans currently have not, how say you? Yeah, it's a different perspective on fandom. And it's funny looking back, because I remember being a little kid in the Niners, absolutely demolished the Charger, the Super Bowl. And they're a fan of San Diego teams, it's just embedded into you. This is, this isn't, this isn't going anywhere. You have perspective that the characters at the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind had on relationships. That's your view of a season where, look, this is not going to lead, this is not going to be the one, but we're in it for the experience. What else are we going to do? And there are higher standards out here, and thus we're complaining. And I often feel myself disagreeing with friends because they go, this is the worst, this is the worst. I watched that last game, regular season against the Seahawks and my friend, just in a depressive fugue saying, this is worse than being bad. The, to be so close and never get it is worse than being bad. And I went, you're crazy. I enjoyed this season. This was cool. I liked being happier on most Sundays than not. That's a value to me. I like reflecting on the season. Journey over destination is what it comes down to, right? Is it painful to almost get there? Look, yes, it's painful. All my neighbors and friends were traumatized after the 2023 Super Bowl. We were doing that interesting thing, Damashak, of playing moments in your mind and changing what could have happened. Oh, if Nick Bosa, now I'm fantasizing about how Bosa wouldn't have been tricked by the QB Keeper by Mahomes and stoned him on 4th and 1. It's interesting that people, regardless of background, do the retrospective cope of changing at all. Oh, yes, I understand the trauma, but look, only one team is going to win and sports is going to be a miserable experience. If you say it's got to be all or nothing, so I don't look at it that way. I hope the Niners win a championship, but I have thoroughly enjoyed the Kyle Gannahan era and the rise of Brock Purdy. It's made my life better. I'm not going to complain about it. I agree with almost all of that, but as much as, you know, legacy is one of those things that the people in it, the quarterbacks, let's say in the quarterback league, specifically talk a lot about what their legacy is and they reject the notion that they care about their legacy. That's a media thing. I don't care about that. No, no, it just is still pregnant until you are done, until your retirement is the birth of the baby and then we can evaluate the entirety of the stretch that preceded it. I agree with you completely, but almost completely, I should say, because ultimately the quarterbacks in the quarterback league, their legacy is dependent on winning. And so it does get a little bit weird. All the way with you on journey over destination and some of my favorite seasons in the last, this wasn't true of me when I was a kid, but now I'm a mature sports fan. I enjoy, a number of seasons in the last decade have ranked among my very favorite, and they didn't come anywhere, close standing in a title. But I think that you do, as a fan, I think you will be unsatisfied as an Inors fan if the Kyle Shanahan comes without a Lombardi and same goes for Brock Purdy. It will be a bitter note in the whole whatever it is, right? I want that to happen. I've had that forever where they're athletes, I wanted something for them. And it's so funny because we don't know these people, but my dad was a huge Knicks fan. I looked at Patrick Ewing as this tragic figure. I just wanted it for him. It wasn't in him at some level. Awesome player, one of the best defensive players of his era. He just wasn't clutch, he just wasn't. It wasn't for him, but I wanted it for him. Ladainian Tomlinson, through no fault of his own, he's a running back. And to watch him rise up and become a star, I wanted it for him. I feel similarly about Purdy and Shanahan. I just don't want that disappointment to overwhelm and cloud my feelings towards something I've largely liked. But yes, I agree with you. I want that. I agree with you when we talk about legacy, when we talk about best, to actually achieve it that matters in these comparisons and the history of the sport. You know what's funny though? This is a digression. The Eagles kind of changed my outlook on that because Alon Hurts, there's all this talk and controversy about him. They win that Super Bowl against the Chiefs. There's an NFL clip. And I can't remember which receiver told him this. Maybe it was Smith saying, hey, they can't mess with you now. Like you're validated. It's done. It wasn't done. Next season, there was just as much noise about- I wonder if that's a Philadelphia specific thing or a Northeast thing. I mean, legitimately. I think yes. I think the standard is very different. The example I often point to is in MLB. If you're a Kansas City Royals fan, you have no business making a noise for 25 years after 2015 because the standard is way different than if you're a Yankees or a Dodgers fan. Yeah, it's funny because I think Jalen Hurts now, people can resent it all they want. If he goes to one more Super Bowl, he's gonna go to the Hall of Fame. Yeah, but at the same time. That's the way it works. In my mind, because I think Brockby is the victim of draftism. It's the worst of bigotries. We have a lot of bigotries in our society. Draftism, the bias against players, draft of low, among the worst. The way he's assessed and analyzed, it often doesn't strike me as objective because of where he was taken. And so in my mind, the scenario that, oh, he wins the Super Bowl and now he's just gonna be regarded, currently he's gonna be validated, finally he's gonna be taken seriously. Seeing Hurts win the Super Bowl year later and not garner more respect a few months later when he was playing gave me a little bit of relief on the whole matter when I built it up in my mind that Purdy knew the Super Bowl and then he would be taken serious. But I now know that he could have won that Super Bowl and the second he throws two interceptions, people are going, you see? Oh, there's a really, he got lucky. It's funny that the paradox of that is, well, but the paradox of that is, because I was talking last week with Michelle Beedle, Die Hard, San Antonio Spurs fan, and you've been talking a lot of WEMB2 and NBA, as you usually do, what is a satisfying title count for Victor Wembo and Yama right now? Like what, 15 years from now, what satiates the Spurs fan? And what you're saying is, I feel like if you're the first overall pick and you gotta do it and you're supposed to do it, you better do it, that's not a great spot to start any sports season or being a fan of that guy. Like if WEMB2 doesn't win a bunch of titles, we'll look back retroactively and be like, boy, that was unsatisfying ultimately, I think. And Purdy winning one is like Russell Wilson or Tom Brady or even Jaylen Hertz in the second round, which is they're not necessarily supposed to do anything. And so it kinda adds to the underdog story more than it detracts from it, but you're absolutely right about Jaylen Hertz getting all sort of crap, because then that allows you as a pretentious sort of talent evaluator, not you, but people who do that. The fact that he wasn't a first overall pick allows you to say, well, he's not that good. His pedigree isn't that high or else he wouldn't have gotten in the second round. We should aim higher than Jaylen Hertz, and the pushback is, well, he won you a Super Bowl and took you to another. You can be a winner and we'll still look hypothetical where you're a loser, where it's one, but you wouldn't have won without such much. You wouldn't have won without so-and-so. I remember people in the 1990s often that the Bowles won 50 Fimes in the year Jordan missed. I knew that for a fact. Don't remember people bringing it up. It's only now that this needs us to argue arguments that it's often invoked. Before we check out, Mike went this very quickly, satisfying number of titles for Wemby. It's a great question. It really is, because it's hard to win titles. And the thing I'm really worried about Wemby, and I got scared for him when the blood clot thing happened because as we know as he fans, that's what ended Chris Bosch's career. So how does that three, I'm gonna say three, four seems like a lot. Four seems like a lot. How many did Duncan get? He got four, right? No, he got five. Five! But none in succession. They were all spread out. Because don't forget, he won the first one in 1999 right when he was drafted. Remember they had the stacked deck with him and David Robertson. Then he won 04, I think? 03. He beat 04? 04, the pistons one. Oh, then it was 03. And then it was 03. And one of our big- 03, 07, 2014. So he only has four, because they won in 97, but was that with David? No, because he was the number one pick in 96, wasn't he? So they, he... Oh, so then they, the Spurs have five and Duncan has four, because they won one with David Robertson in 1997. He did win an 04, then he lost it in 05, and then, or he wasn't there in 05, then he won it, then, sorry, I'm an idiot. He won in 03, he wasn't there in 04. He won in 05, and then he won in 07. He basically did what the San Francisco Giants did, which is they won every year. Every other year he won a time. What's interesting about that is nobody really gives a shit about the specifics. But no, the, yeah, the Wemby, the Wemby thing is, you know, obviously everybody's gonna keep taking shots at him, he has to defend himself. Or, you know, Eric Linderos is maybe the guy with that, unless it's Mark Bavaro, the great Giants Titan. When you're the biggest dude, it takes a lot to get you down. So they have to keep hammering you physically, and you wear out more quickly. So Wemby has no choice, but to do that, I thought the elbow and the throat was pretty bad, but I completely get where he's coming from. Adam Silver, obviously the reason people are upset about it is because plainly people understand cynically. Adam Silver is like, what's gonna hurt the bottom line? And that's Wemby sitting down for a big game, and that's why they didn't send Wemby down. But I do completely get spiritually where Wemby's coming from with his big pointy seven foot four elbows, knocking guys out for taking shots at him. I get it, we'll take our shot. Again, one week from today in the usual time, Football America, make sure you use that time between now and then subscribing, telling all your pals about the show, writing some comments in there, all the rest of it, all the rest of it, we'll be back in a week. Nay, we'll be back on Tuesday with our little seven or so minute chunk that we like to put out there for you. Make sure you're checking that out on YouTube as well. Until then, thanks so much, my fellow Football Americans. It's been a thin slice, I have.