Todd Barry Returns To The Show! | Whiskey Ginger

Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger, a wave series. Hey, hey, Whiskey Ginger fans, I'm running around a little bit. Bobby Lee and I, March 14th, are doing the Thunder Valley Casino out there in Sacramento, Lincoln, California, but it's outside of Sacramento up there. Then I do the win in Las Vegas on March 21st, the 27th. I'm jetting off to Providence, Rhode Island to do Little Roadie Fest. Then April 3rd, I do the make-up date at the Borgata in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Finally, Bad Friends does one more show, I think, until later in the year. Bad Friends plays Netflix as a joke at the YouTube theater. And go get those tickets at andrewsantino.com. Those tickets, once again, are at andrewsantino.com. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It is internet phenomenon, sex icon, comedy megalodon, Todd Berry. I don't even know what a megalodon is. Me neither, but I just, it was rhyming. You know, as a freestyle rapper, I just have to find the words that come to me. And you were a freestyler in Brooklyn when you were a kid for four or five years. You were a freestyler. Weren't you a freestyle rapper? Oh, yeah. I mean, that's how I paid for my college. Where'd you go to school? University of Florida. Oh, I thought you went to an HBCU. I don't know why. What is an HBCU? A historically black college or university. Oh, no, I didn't. You've never heard of HBCU? I probably have, but on the spot I just blanked. Yeah. Okay. So like Howard University? Howard, Brown, give me all the HBCUs. Let's shout them all out on the show. I don't know if Brown is one, is it? It should be based on the name. Alabama State University, Morehouse College. Morehouse. Tuskegee. Tuskegee, shout out to Tuskegee. Howard. Clark, Atlanta University. Sneak Brown in there for fun. Nope. All right. HBCU. We have our first correction of the episode. Yeah. Put that in the edit. I like to start out correcting. Todd Berry, a phenomenal comedian, a great man. You have you've captivated the world on the Internet with your. Have I? Yeah, I think people love you on the Internet, don't they? I mean, they love me and they hate me, I guess. I think most people love you. I've yet to find someone that doesn't like you. Oh, well, as of that statement, they'll start pouring in. right right you're welcome i met him after a show and he was mean no you've not do you meet the fans after the shows generally i do you do you do me do you do a meet and greet or do you just i don't do a vip yeah extra meet and greet but yeah i don't know the type of venues i play generally it would be a little weird if like yeah all right there's 200 people here and 20 of you can see me and say hi to me i'll say hi to anyone who wants to like that yeah you do that's nice I think after the shows, though, are you not a little exhausted? You've clearly never seen me do stand-up. I have plenty of energy left. I'm not exhausted, but I just feel I don't want to hide backstage. See, I like to sit backstage and then I kind of go over what went wrong. Really? Immediately? Post-mortem? I'll sit there. Yeah, post-mortem. I'll just sit there right after I get off. I need to take like 10 minutes just to recalibrate, I guess. Do you record every show? I record audio every show. Yes, I don't. A lot of guys do video. Sometimes the clubs will take the video. Like I just did Tempe Improv. They sent me. The kid was like, hey, man, we record every show. I was like, great. I'm on my phone, too. And he's like, no, we video it. I was like, oh, all right. Yeah, there's clubs that do that. That's kind of great. There are some clubs I think that charge you for it. It's like, come on, man. To pay for the video? Yeah, maybe they do it to the younger comics, which is even worse. That's so mean. Well, and they're also, they're like, yeah, they're already screwing over the younger comics giving them you know how much money do they get paid now to host or feature for fourteen dollars a set or something absurd it's really disgusting i don't get money's gone up since i started in the late 80s late 80s late late 80s though 89 87 87 yeah wow where was your first spot in 87 i don't remember no it was uh i just celebrated my 38th anniversary in comedy congratulations um yeah i uh first place was coconuts comedy club in north miami beach inside a howard johnson's hotel which i don't think those exist anymore but no no unfortunately the fall there was an open mic night they used to do the open mic night this was comedy boom time yeah so tuesday was packed or you know sold out on a tuesday or 90 people or like a real audience yeah and they would have it like the open mic segment and then the headliner in the middle and the headliner so it's like part of the regular show one day of the week and wow so i played to real audience i didn't play to like six comics waiting to go on right you played to real human beings real human beings so you had a good that's a good but that you started down there yeah wow i know you're you from down there i lived down there for like 15-ish years i was born in the bronx and then why'd you move down there mom dad my dad's whole company relocated black rock right aren't you a black rock kid halliburton oh yeah i knew it was one of the two and now you're what you're everyone does know about todd todd's a heavy investor in the marketplace as well uh a stock god as we call him in the comedy world i have a ponzi scheme going up here you do i'd love to get in five grand and i'll do it right now i'll watch i'll take good care of your five grand i think i'll give you some cash i i think it's people like i started in los angeles and then people are like that's crazy almost nobody starts here usually people go somewhere and then they go to new york or they go to right la but i started here because i figured i might as well drown i was like i'd rather just drown i didn't want to be too comfortable back home how do you pop in the city with when you start i'm working on it no you're doing fine oh i think because you're guest i think yeah i was just gonna say it speaks for itself i think you here was tough i mean i guess maybe it's it was a it was a time too where i moved here in oh six and uh like the store was pretty dead when i moved here yeah arguably it was you know that's subjective but it was like you know there was a lot of light nights i mean friday saturdays were good but especially because i was doing you know friends and family and open mic and stuff like that at the store but you it was all it was just all comics and that's friends and family a bringer show friends and family was So it's such a weird, the bureaucracy of the system of getting passed. It was like you would sign up for the mic. And if you were good enough or you had a plug in to the system to either like Mitzi or Tommy, who was, you know, the manager at the time, they would put you on a friends and family, meaning like you go at the end of the mic. You get maybe it was I don't know if it was the exact same time where we got an extra minute or two. but you'd go at the end meaning like we're we're thinking about considering letting them showcase it was it was a it was a it was just a system to filter out you know it wasn't even to filter out who sucks it was to filter out like how much you actually gave a shit like like a test see how much yeah you're going to keep coming back and you're going to try to get friends and family and then after that are you going to try to get a showcase so when you get friends and family today someone call you over hey i got good news for you andrew yeah i mean yeah welcome to friends and family yeah kind of it's mafia it was like a mafia it was like yeah we decided that you're good enough to be friends and our family um i actually somehow got passed without ever auditioning well you're i mean is that because i'm whatever level i might be perceived yeah because you're well respected and you're achieved because i used to hear all these stories about like famous comics they made you know i can't think of one but seinfeld never got passed really she didn't pass him mitzi never passed wow isn't that cool did you audition for her no i well she was quite sick by the time i started coming around and so then uh i auditioned for um tommy was the guy who used to be there he was the guy that passed me he was kind of like the eget was adam eget was after him who i'm sure you know yeah eget was right after him but i auditioned for him uh audition it was it sucks man it was so hard because you go at the end of a or sometimes they put you in this in like a sweet spot of like a good show so you've got phenomenal headliners just beating up the room and then you got to go up there and just tank shit right and you have like five minutes to get your rhythm going and then you're done and you've only got two or three good minutes of like really good stuff that you're like these two jokes are going to kill and then everything else was yeah i moved to new york too soon i think after like after a year of doing comedy in florida that's You went back to New York? I knew I wanted to live back in New York, but you think you're better than you are a little bit. When you're young? Yeah, you do. Yeah, you know, I go in there, catch your eyes and snore, I go, I can do what these guys are doing. They're doing eight minutes. And then I could on some level do it, but also I probably should have toured the country at least once or twice and then showed up. Done a bunch of D rooms? Smooth as silk, yeah. Did you do a bunch of those D rooms at any point? Like the rooms that were not really rooms? did you ever headline a room that was like it was it's like a hall or you mean on the road or yeah where they just pull it together oh yeah i mean back in florida there was also i mean i guess they would be there was this kind of boom where you there were one you could work in florida for two months just touring around yeah because there's always he's in a place the guy will go into a restaurant bar and go hey what do you do on wednesdays we're kind of dead i could produce comedy show here yeah and then they get a mic and right right but those were good sometimes sometimes there were you know there was notorious bad ones and and every get the word gets around yeah yeah but i kind of always went on almost anywhere you didn't care oh i cared i just thought it was the right thing to do right now now you're picky now it's like i don't go on anywhere that's how picky that's how good i am and you literally can't see me live anywhere um well you don't need to tour anymore i mean you you you i mean people that know i mean i don't know if anybody reads the news but todd is the one that refurbished the chrysler building in new york that just reopened now with 15 apartments that's you is that true that is true 15 apartments i think that's what they said you can look it up it's 13 or 15 like brand new and they're reasonably priced i think they're only like 30 or 40 million dollars a piece or something like that i've always thought they should have i wonder why they don't have apartments in the empire state building i mean you know just in case king kong wants to climb it again i feel like that's all you know about the empire stable no i also know empire the carpet company 588 am i wrong to think you were moving to new york oh i would have loved to do it i think life changed a little bit for me i had a few things change in life and i needed to stay here i needed to stay here the podcast kind of grew out of my like bobby and i show grew to a degree that was bigger than i thought that it was going to be so in the pandemic i was like i'm ready to move to new york and the show blew up kind of without i genuinely we started that show because we were like hey the audiences liked us together we had a ton of fun and it literally was the very beginning of covid and i was like this probably is not gonna last you know he's i feel like i talked to you in new york about you moving yeah yeah i wanted to really really bad i pushed for it and then that show got big and i was like i can't I can't bounce back and forth. That became my priority. And he won't go anywhere. He barely leaves his house. I saw him last night. He was at the store. Yeah. Yeah, that's all he goes. He literally should have a zip line from his house over the hill to the store. How many apartments in the Chrysler building, did it say? He's not doing his job. What are you looking up? You had one job. You had one job. You had one job. What does it say? There was an article. It says Manhattan iconic Chrysler building is on the market. Todd bought it. See, that's old news. How about that? That's old news. It's from May 30th, but it doesn't. Yeah, I just saw a thing that popped up. All cash deal. It's just listing off how many bricks and rivets and tons of steel. Well, we'd love to know how many bricks and rivets and tons of steel. How many bricks? How many bricks are in the Chrysler building? I don't think of it as a bricky building, but I guess all buildings are brickish. All of that age. Yeah. I'll give you a hint. It's in the millions. Yeah. Why'd you give us that hint, man? I didn't want you to. I want to give you something. 462. He didn't want that answer. I was going to say three bricks. Just three beautiful bricks. Right above the door. Standard size bricks. I'm going to say six and a half million. Twenty million. Three million eight hundred twenty six thousand. So we're both over so we don't we both none of us get the showcase. Both of us cannot get a brick laying job anywhere. We blew it. We blew it pretty bad. You'll never leave New York now, though, forever, huh? I mean, I come out here and it's kind of like, yeah, it's kind of nice. You know how many New York guys tell you that to me? They'll be like, I got to be honest. They're like, I hate Los Angeles, but man, is it nice when I come out here. But then I also came in like the weirdest rainy season. I just assume it's always going to be nice here. And then I, you know, I shouldn't assume, I guess. You brought the rain. I did. The rain is a big fan of mine. It is. You do. It feels like the cloud is right behind you wherever you go. That's for other reasons. Well, Pete, you're kind of an enigma. You're a little bit of a mystery. Who did you call me? Huh? Did you call me Petey? An enigma. No, I heard the enigma, but I thought you said a name. I said you're kind of an enigma. Okay. See, it's stuff like that. That doesn't make any sense. Petey, where did you draw that? I don't know, man. Why did you call me that? I'm sorry, Pete. I thought you were Pete Davidson this whole time. Imagine we do this whole show, and I'm like, thanks, my guest, Pete Davidson. That's not Pete Davidson. You're an enigma because nobody knows. I mean, I guess we shouldn't reveal it. It's none of your fans' business. But you're a father of 13 kids and by six different women, which is fascinating. Yeah, 13 different states. Right. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Can you name the states? I can't name the kids or the states. That's how fucking badass I am. Yeah, you're pretty hardcore. That is your repertoire in the game. You're just on the road having babies. You have a special out now. Yeah, it's been out a bit, but maybe I could just pretend it just came out. Let's pretend. end you have a special on youtube yeah called domestic short hair filmed in chicago at the let me guess den yes got it yeah one gas theater one for one mic drop a lot of people like the den it's really good i've never played it a lot of people have said when i go back to chicago because that's home for that was where i that's where i'm from but there was like you should play it but i never got a chance to play it i feel like i played i mean there's a million things to play while you're there yeah chicago does have a lot of venues yeah but you probably play a place that's bigger than that right um i mean i'm all it depends right like i'm not like right now i'm doing i'm in clubs again i'm doing clubs for the next for the foreseeable future because i put out an hour so now i'm building an hour so i'll do a bunch of clubs until i feel like maybe i want to do a theater but i do play the chicago theater that's my favorite i opened for uh ricky gervais there it's really yeah he's the uh he's the british guy yeah i like him from england i think yeah england yeah how do you feel about british people as a whole i like them all of them well i'm sure i can name one or two that are bad if i do it i don't have any off the tip of my tongue but i mean i'd have to if i lived in the uk for two straight years i'd probably come up with three people a couple you're a big churchill fan though have you done comedy there we did for the first time i did we played uh bobby and i did a bad friends show there and we toured uh and we played um the ovo Ovo Wembley. Wembley Arena, but indoors. The outdoor arena was being occupied by Oasis. That's why we couldn't get to it. Yeah. We were just competing acts. Can we have that room that Oasis is playing? Yeah, Oasis. Yeah. Could you have them? We played their dressing room is what we played. How big was the place you played? 12? I don't know. How was it? It was about 10. 10,000? 10,000 people? 10,000 people. Holy shit. I know. I know. Fuck. It's pretty crazy. Were you nervous? No. really no because it's it's it's i don't know oh because there are such super fans well yeah but also like um i had opened for other people in arenas before and so once you get over arena nerves you're like this is fine this is like field house size or whatever right it's still it's a shitload of people but arenas were more daunting like the first arena i did i was like this is fucking daunting it's insane right yeah very done like i've done three or four with shane with Gillis. And then before that, Rogan, I opened for him in a couple of big theaters and field and arenas. And that was, that's a wild, it's insane. Yeah. It's a little, I'm not, I'm much better in a tighter room. Also, the round is not my favorite. No? I like a stage facing the humans. I don't want to, I'm thinking about looking the other way a lot and I'm like, should I turn around? Do you know the secret to theater in the round is playing your back towards like the far end i don't i would need to do this fish like you have your round stage yeah you're over here and you're playing all these people and then you mix it up you walk to the other side and played all these people yeah does that make sense no okay well i'm sure you did fine i did okay yeah it was fine i just wanted to seem like i really knew some shit yeah it did sound like you sold me for a beat and then i thought no this guy doesn't he's selling wingdings you you you did the den theater how many shows did you film uh two and did you use only one or did you mix i mixed yeah isn't that a fun secret a lot of people think it's just one oh really i think i think audiences are keen to it now but for years i not like it was a secret but like sometimes i guess a lot of comics didn't want to say that they would mix they'd be like no we used to we filmed one show one of the worst experiences in my life is editing a special oh my God, watching yourself? It's brutal. How repulsive. Yeah. I hate it more than anything. I mean, this is the first time in this last special I did. I gave it to our editor, Kelly, who's incredible. And I was like, she's like, do you want to walk through it? I was like, can you just do the thing and I'll see it? I wish I had someone who could. I mean, they probably could. She's brilliant. I know they would think. I couldn't trust anyone to do it. She made me marginally funny. And I was like, this is really good. She made you marginally funny. Well, because it was, you know, I don't think I would. so it's like a 10 minute special i think it's like uh 12 and a half or 13 just under yeah just under 15 that's that's where did you film yours i film mine in uh minneapolis minnesota minnesota where pantages theater okay that's pretty big right yeah maybe like 2000 i don't i don't really even know yeah 2000 something like that and i think we cut it down to like 1600 a show or something like that something like that it was good i but i did a bunch of shows i also did it on the weekend that shane gillis played the basketball arena and kevin hart played a field house so good job by my agents i always say that great job guys they're really putting in the effort it's not that hard guys to find the routing but you all have you have different fan bases right kevin hart and i have the exact same fan base no gillis and i have a lot of overlap i would argue like he there's if there's people that are going to see me or shane gillis they're probably going to see shane gillis but i mean if they're like shane sold out i'll just go see this idiot If I were in that situation, I would pay any price to see Shane over you. Yeah, me too. Me too. And they do. I would have like $3,000 cash. Who's got a ticket? This is for one ticket. Anywhere in the arena. I had people come just for my opening act and leave when I came on. Who was your opening act? Zach Townsend. Do you know who that is? Country music star? Yeah. Is he really? Yeah, and he just transitioned. Okay. Yeah, he was doing rap. He did the reverse post Malone. He started with rap and now he's doing country. He's kind of like Kid Rock. You should have Kid Rock just canceled the shows in New York City man What happened Because we have a social stay Is that city too gay for him I not playing gay New York Is that really what it is? There's already like 10 TikTok videos I've seen where they're like, and they had to refund 12 ticket holders. I mean, that was funny, the first person to do it. Yeah, and then 50 people do it. Is this mine? No, no, that's for you to feel. Yes, of course. Oh, shit. It's a game changer. Glass water? Water in a bottle. You know who loved Mountain Valley water? Who? Elvis Presley. Really? That was one of the only things we learned in his rider was bottles. He wanted a box of Mountain Valley water, glass bottled water. He loved it. I think it does taste different. Right? Pretty good. Glass water, for some reason, it just tastes so much better. I heard a thing about Elvis Presley. You know the way they always said Elvis has left the building? Yeah. I heard they used to say that regardless of whether he'd left the building. like he was just telling the building elvis is left in the building but they wink and you can hear the wink that's winking at elvis yeah no one knows you're fine yeah we went to graceland have you ever been to graceland i did and it was kind of say it no not a bad thing but i was surprised how small the house was it's a very big house by yeah for a guy that yeah it was still it was manageable yeah i could easily buy it and live there without having to worry about getting too many like sofas and beds and stuff well it's already got all the furniture there yeah and you can't go upstairs they don't let you upstairs we weren't allowed right didn't you go with me on that trip no we weren't allowed to go upstairs it was something like that was the only because that was his master bedroom that was the only restricted area and the only reason anyone's ever been in that room since his death was uh they had a roof leak and they they had like special admissions for a contractor to go look but it was very like this only this one man can go in and look and then he has to come out and assess it and then they had to i wonder why that is i think probably the presley estate didn't want humans rummaging through the place that he died they wanted to keep it kind of like a sacred place okay which we're planning for you as well what's that we're marking off the places we think you're going to die we want to hold them as sacred please do let me know when that's gonna happen drooling thinking about well you're in my death pool you know we have a death pool no yeah you're in mine yeah am i really yeah you're in mine but no no it's no no we pick them we pick the horses way before you want to pick them when they're new you know so you're a young horse but i've got you well on that note do you know what happened to me last time i was in los angeles huh i was walking And it's Silver Lake, walking down a hill. And my feet started walking by themselves a little bit and then started running by themselves. Five broken ribs. Seriously? Yeah. Well, you fell face first. I wiped out. Wiped out, yeah. Just on a walk, on a brisk walk. But it was a steep hill. It was steep for me, for this old man. But, yeah, I was in the hospital. Five broken ribs? Six nights in the hospital. Wow. You're not an old man. No, I'm 25. Yeah. You said 35 when we started. I said 35? Yeah. But you just spilled on a walk, huh? Yeah. Good God. Yeah. So now you don't visit Silver Lake any longer, do you? I thought of getting the same Airbnb, which it wasn't available, but then I was like, man, that would be kind of revisiting a trauma. Yeah, I mean, that was six nights at the hospital, man. Six nights? Six nights at that fucking... Is that one night per rib and then an extra... Hollywood Presbyterian, which I think is not maybe the best hospital. Is it not? I don't know. It's a bad hospital. That's the one where I brought Carlos. Oh, it's a bad hospital, yeah. It's bad? You got to go. Well, I mean, did they help you? They took care, but it was just very like, you know, I was sharing a room. There was no private room. No curtain or anything? There was just like a sheet. Yeah. So if that guy's snoring, yelling, this one guy next to me had like his, he's had some, I don't know what you call them, attached to his arm. And every time he rolled over, it would start beeping. Oh. And then I'd have to go, you know, I can't sleep. It's already shady to be here, but now I can't sleep. And, yeah. What do they do for broken ribs anyway? They don't really do anything. They heal on their own. Yeah, I guess they were watching me or worried about my lung. But I don't know. Because afterwards, like, why was I there for six fucking nights? Yeah, six fucking nights. I mean, maybe just to manage the pain with some morphine and stuff. Or increase your hospital bill. They just wanted to. Hey, I don't believe that. Yeah. No, you're right. Way cynical. Well, did you get a bit out of it? I did get a little bit of a bit. Yeah, so it's worth it. It was worth six nights in hospital for 40 new seconds in my act. the fall must have been bad was it embarrassing or just more frightening frightening because people there were some people outside and like three different sets of people came over and this woman was like i'm calling urgent care i'm calling emergency rooms and she took me to the emergency room didn't know her at all that was sweet yeah it was very sweet did you connect with her again ever i did i hooked her up with a little dom's gift card oh little dom's is great that's right Did you ever go to the original, to Dominic's? No. One of my favorites, man. Google up Dominic's, Los Angeles. Historic place. Shut down many, many moons ago. That was one of my favorite places to go to. Dominic's with a K? Dominic's, yeah. It was behind the hospital. That's the hospital you should have gone to. What's that, Cedars? Cedars, yeah. That's what I was saying. Yeah, it should have gone to Cedars. It closed in 2015. 2015, Dominic's. After 67 years. After 67 years. Did it say why it closed down? The rumor was that there were – so there was two owners, and one of them opened Little Doms on the east side. And then the other one, the rumor I heard was wanted to open one in Ojai, and then they moved, and they got in a little bit of a – as partners do, a tiff over who does what, where, what. And they just sold the place and then closed it down. They just said they declined to state exactly why they closed the restaurant. So what I said was exactly true. It's your job to get that answer, though. Yeah. It had to have been a fight, an in-fight between the two owners. That was the rumor I had heard. But I used to go there all the time. If somebody came into town, that for me was a fancy place to take them. Because it wasn't. When did it go under? 2015. Okay. But it wasn't like, because I could never afford like a fancy restaurant then. So that was nice enough, but it wasn't overpriced food. Like it was like my dad would go, oh, this is pretty good. Yeah. Good looking. Good solid. You're doing okay. Yeah. Because we don't have that. New York has that in spades. You guys have, you know, it's a nice restaurant, but it's not overpriced. But the atmosphere is nice. Here, it's either like Chipotle or a fucking nightclub. Yeah. Everything here is – it's either like all of the pomp and circumstance or a regular run-of-the-mill grab-your-food-and-go. What do you think about Erwan? I have never purchased – I've never been there as a – I've walked in it to see it. But I've never like – The one in Silver Lake? No, there's one here in the Valley. Okay. Yeah, but I'm not interested, really. I think, I mean, they're kind of brilliant because their angle is our stuff is hilariously overpriced. Where you're like, everyone just made $16 for the smoothie. It's like a bit. But they're so nice. Everyone there is so nice. Well, they should be. I think they make $100 an hour to work there, the employees. Seriously? No, I have no fucking idea. But no, they're still ripping them off. I'm sure the smoothies are $85. The employees are still getting minimum wage. Do you eat out a lot? You could ask my wife. I do. Yes, too much. We don't have kids, so we don't cook. Right. She cooks sometimes. She cooks. Actually, I should give her credit. She does. But I'd rather just order it. I don't know. I'm stimulating the economy. Oh, I know that's your motivation. Yeah. You'd love to roast a whole chicken and side orders and all that. Yeah, I like to stimulate the economy. In fact, the hotel I stayed at in Tempe had a great restaurant in Scottsdale. and uh i went there every day for for dinner because i was like well why leave it's great yeah you can get in a car and drive around fucking scottsville no see that's and i think people don't get that when you're like on the road you're like i'd like to find a place where if i can get all the meals here this is great i don't want to like dart around to try to find the best version of a not interested do you hang in the hotel or do you when you're on the road i'm a go-go i'm a go-go Yeah, I don't want to stay. The hotels are sad enough. It's already not home. Yeah. I like to go. I mean, I play golf, so I like to golf during the day if it's nice weather or go somewhere, try to meet up with someone, write, or the opener and I will go do something, like find anything to get into. Yeah, I'm the same way. I've never understood. Why be on tour if you're not going to check out the city? Yeah. I mean, even if it seems like a boring city, find the non-boring part or attempt to. But I find that a lot of even the boring cities, I find something kind of interesting because they're boring you're like this is kind of fun for this place yeah most boring city on tour is oh i don't i don't know that i have a it's kind of a negative angle but i don't know i know i'm setting you up for failure trying to think what's well i mean i don't like atlantic city i wouldn't call it boring i would call it it's tough it's right it's a little rough but it's not it's not a city that's you know what i mean that's like a theme park okay you get in and you get out i used to have trouble finding something to do in cincinnati but i think the last time i was there i I found something to do, but I forgot what it was. What is it called? Skyline Chili? Is that what that is? Isn't that they're famous for that? In Cincy? Yeah, isn't that what it is? Do you know Skyline Chili? Yeah, I've had that. Yeah. We have a version here deep in the valley in Burbank. It's called Chili John's. Is that right? That's good. Yeah, Chili John's is good. That's really good. Yeah, that's kind of, that's LA's version of Skyline Chili. Is it still open? It is. Is it on spaghetti? Yeah, it's on Paschetti. Paschetti, as you say. I've never had it on Spaghetti. That's how kids say it, Paschetti. but it's good oh it's the best there was a place it's thicker than cincinnati chili it's got to be yeah yeah it's got to be cincinnati chili is very like soupy it's like yeah and sweet there was a place look this up there was a place by marquette's campus in milwaukee that i used to call chili and such but that was not the name but i just like to call it chili and such because it was chili and such i mean that was kind of like but it's same thing it was a bowl of pasta with chili real chili real chili that's exactly right that's exactly right i don't i've never i don't think i've ever had the pasta with the chili seriously i think i just go straight chili oh my brother you got to get yourself some spaghetti with chili it's it it looks repulsive and it's so delicious really aesthetically it's a very ugly dish it's like on it looks like unflavored or seasoned noodles and chili just guffed on there with cheese and all the goods man do you get how do you handle late night food when you're in a i mean i try to not if i can help it unless i but if i do eat something late after shows i i eat something that i know isn't gonna make me poop at 4 30 you know i try to get something and i go this can this is good this is fine i'm not gonna have an upset stomach in the middle of the night right what do you do i mean i've done a few matinee shows lately like 4 p.m's for i did i had to keep rescheduling florida because of covid and then there was a hurricane and then all that was left when we were turning around because you want to try doing a couple side splitters in tampa uh-huh want to try doing a couple of matinees sure fucking great shows yeah and 6 30 you're done thanks a real dinner you're gonna go anywhere yeah it's great the matinees are actually really good there yeah i mean it sounds like because like Matinees on Broadway are kind of like – they can be a little rough sometimes. Just why – The energy and – The crowd is very – I hate low energy. That should be the name of your next special, I Hate Low Energy. That is good. Yeah, I hate low energy. No, matinees are tough unless your audience – I mean, Bargazzi does those. He'll play three shows. He'll do like a four, six, and eight or something. I mean, that's impressive to push out that kind of stuff. But matinees daunting as a comic because you're like, it's daylight. Yeah, but these ones in Tampa were great. Is he going to be a matinee guy, Mr. Matinee? Hey, I missed a three o'clock show. And a five o'clock would be really crazy. But, yeah. I'm stupid. What is the matinee? What's the etymology of matinee? Where does that come from, the word matinee? I think we're going to find out momentarily. Do you know? No. Yeah. See, I like that. You don't know. It's a French word. Any guesses on what it is? Matinee means, it's a French word that means before dinner. Go ahead. Oh, I'm supposed to guess? Yeah, that's half of the fun. Yeah. Okay. I don't, I never thought about it. Well. And I'm on the spot with all these cameras. Matinee. What was your guess? Before dinner. Something before dinner, a thing that happens prior to dinner. Oh, I think that's a good guess. Yeah. I'm going to guess the same thing. Good, good guess. It means morning. Morning. Yeah. Yeah, see, once again. That's not even accurate. Yeah, that's very inaccurate. Matinees happen afternoon, always. Yeah. What is the word afternoon in French? Look that up. You're going around the bat wave. We're going to rename it. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to rename it. I'm going to find some sort of combination. The word, oh, he's going to try it. Après-s-médis. Après-s-médis. but you have to say one word you can't go what? do it again après midi après midi have you played France? I have, I was about to ask you that go to Paris I want to, I've only played we only did London and Dublin are the only two European cities I guess it's not European but we also did Australia and New Zealand not the same thing at all man literal other side of the world in fact you can't get any further without coming back it's not here though I know what you mean. Australians are like the Europeans of the ocean. Yeah. Yeah, I understand. Yeah, just do fucking Paris, do Amsterdam. I do want to do that because I went to Amsterdam once. I do want to go back and do shows. Go to Copenhagen. Danemark. Stockholm. I don't really. Hamburg, Germany, Berlin. Hamburg and Berlin I'll do. You don't want to go to Stockholm? No, just because the name association scares me a little bit. Of the syndrome? Yeah. I don't want to get involved with that, you know. i wonder how many tourists they lose every year because they're like that's where the syndrome came from yeah it is a weird name association when you hear stockholm you go stockholm syndrome yeah does any other city have that attached to it there's uh like boston racism is that one do they have boston uh city no other city has an association like that that i can think of boston syndrome boston syndrome that's what i meant to say yeah i heard i heard it in my head I saw you do it. We'll just edit it. So it said, Oh yeah, you're going to be doing a lot of editing on this one. No editing needed. Go back. How long is your special? 16 or 17 full minutes. It was, no, it was 56, I think, something like that. Shade under an hour. What did you do? I did 50, but I wish I would have cut out another five at least. Because I don't think anyone gives a fuck. There's no stigma to not doing an hour anymore. No, I think 50. Because they're not going to watch the full thing anyway. 45 actually sounds much more appealing yeah well 45 used to be the number that old hour specials were on tv it used to be this i mean i guess it's still the club comic comedy club standard right 45 yeah what do you is that how long you do when you're on stage somebody freeze frame it when he drank i always feel uh send me that photo i always feel like i'm short changing them if i do 45 i do an hour just because yeah i feel like i'm supposed to but lately i've been shooting for 50 and then i usually go over but i mean 50 minutes of listening to me is probably i think any comic really why be self-deprecating even you isn't you know it's like i get it well people don't want to hear me they want to look at me but they want to hear you so if i could have your demeanor we would be a home run we should do a thing where we tour together you're out front i'm behind the curtain mouthing and i'm mouthing the words god i'd love that singing in the rain singing in the rain that would be funny if you really followed through on that i actually would love our respective ages I was like, here's what you're booking now. I'm going to be behind a curtain the entire time. Andrew Barry? Oh, that's my middle name. Andrew's my middle name, by the way. Well, then we're, dude, this is already meant to be. This is written in the stars. If we're going to do it based on that, then I should get two-thirds of the money. Well, it's based more on who needs it. Then I should get all of it. 100% of the door. You like that? Yeah, man. Gave you an alley-oop there, babe. Are you a sports fan at all? no but i i've been watching clips that are showing up in my little algorithm and i like watching like baseball catches and i love buzzer beaters and basketball love that i like the big moments and i went to with samorell i went to a a knicks game no a wnba game what is that women's basketball what is that what is women's basketball yeah it's right there in the what a description yeah he's a big supporter well he's a diehard nicks fan but he got us in like these were like vip floor seats there's a buffet and oh yeah yeah floor seats i was we were right behind the other team which i forgot their name but it's kind of cool they're called the other team i think and i mean it depends on how and it's new york liberty liberty and i don't remember who it was i can name a few i made a joke at the beginning but i really am a big wnba fan all right hardcore no i do i know them all who did indiana fever no it wasn't that chicago sky i don't think it was them uh the are you guys the links minnesota links right um like i can it's i can knock out a few i'm pretty impressed um seattle seattle storm washington washington i'm worried that even if you get it i'm not gonna remember you won't or no but luckily it's completely unimportant that i remember the washington uh assassinations mystics oh the mystics yeah phoenix uh the phoenix uh mystics oh the phoenix has got to be called the mercury you're right isn't this good i'm pretty good this is good as far as things that you're going to definitely cut out this is pretty good so you went with samaral but you enjoyed it did you enjoy the w yeah i had a great time yeah and it was also via i like vip tree that's really what it is you're the fancy guy people think you're this humble, sweet guy. And no one knows. This guy's a private jet stretch limo guy, which is very outdated. But he'll take, he'll request from the club. He'll go, I need to be picked up on a stretch limo. In front of the, I think it was the comedy store last night, there was one of these ridiculous party bus, double level white limos. So stupid. Yeah. And who got out of it? The coolest people ever. I thought it'd be cool if a comic did that. I think I would think that's funny. Like if that was a bit to show up in that, that would be very funny. Do you know John Schrader, Tall John, they call him he writes on bob's burgers it sounds familiar he's six foot ten yeah but he i was joking he's i was joking with him once when i was here in lago i asked him for a ride to the airport and he said i couldn't i don't i will just get me a stretch limo anyway the next morning i wake up there's a fucking white ridiculously stretched limo just as a goof he fucking went ahead and booked it wasn't even there to see my reaction but i was mortified like riding this thing in the airport you're like yeah here's good yeah i'm 20 minutes from my game that's fine you want to let me off before we actually get into lax i'll just walk it out that's some serious fuck you money when you can do that for practical bob's burgers that's a successful show yeah he does i'm sure he does you get on those things you know i'm on those things i know but i mean he's a writer yeah he makes more than yeah he's like a talented guy i'm just getting right to what you're trying to point out so thank you i'm sorry i'm sorry about that what do you mean you're like the voiceover guy you get more work in voiceover we actually talked he jokingly you know he read for the Bad Friends animated show. Oh, I did. It doesn't even exist. So, you know. It would have been nice to get paid and then have it not exist. It doesn't mean that it won't happen, but we still don't know. Did someone pass on it? No, no. Hulu owns it. I mean, we just haven't gotten a green light to do it. Okay. Development hell. We're in development in the whirlpool of development just waiting for someone to go, okay. How long has it been, though? A year. Well, prepare yourself because it's not happening. Really? shit. How long do they keep people waiting for that? You know, we actually turned it in in July and there, the end of the year was kind of the cutoff point for them to make the decision So we see Yeah And I see you on set if I get the Well I won see you on set man It a voiceover thing so you be in a booth Wow Mr Literal Well... He doesn't get jokes. Well, it's only because I don't want to see you on set. That's right. There is no set. I keep telling you this. You call, where's the set? There is no set. Do you record from home when you do VO? Or do you go to a booth? I have. I like it at the house. I like going to the studio because I think I lost my microphone. Bob's Burgers got me a microphone. Yeah. And I don't know where it is when I moved. I lost it. Take one of these before you go. Can I grab one of these? Same thing. I'm going to grab that tripod as well. We've got a hundred of them in here laying around somewhere. But, I mean, I do like the car. I remember once, one of the last ones I did was for Bob's Burgers, and they sent me my schedule, and the session was 12.50 to 1 p.m. Yeah. Perfect. I think I can do that. I can knock it out. Oh, yeah. That's easy. At a million dollars an episode. You're only getting a million? Yeah. god that's nothing damn fuck how much did you get for los enchiladas yeah oh man i think mitch bought me some chicken fingers that's nice i don't think he paid i don't think i don't remember getting paid but where did you guys all stay i'm from minnesota i just love you know minnesota shit and i know you guys know a shot there i don't i forgot where we stayed but we record we filmed that hotel we filmed that was like they had we had to step aside so they could let people check in it's gorilla shit man yeah it's like when i did the wrestler and we filmed in a supermarket yeah and you if it was a live supermarket yeah and it was open or that uh louis short where you guys were on the staten island ferry yeah god you didn't get permission from uh colin jost or p davidson to film on the ferry they had to both sign off on it right they still own that don't they anything staten island related they do what did they buy a boat they own the staten island ferry really yeah they bought it years ago right together i didn't know you could that's a private entity well i think the city sold it off i think it wasn't it was probably hemorrhaging money and they were like here just someone else want it it's still hemorrhaging money yeah sure pete just went on weekend update like a week ago and talked about it oh really no well well you know this is a here's a dumb new york fact you know why many of the train lines in new york run the same route for a long for an extended period of time you know why why wouldn't they well i mean there's multiple lines They go to multiple stops for an extended period of time when they could have broken them off, but they were all independently owned lines. Oh. They were all, they were owned by different companies. And then the New York Transit bought them back because it was avoiding a monopoly. Wow. Because people would take one line for cheaper and why would they go to the other line? So there was like you had a choice? Yeah, you had a choice. I never knew that. Yeah. It's something I learned. I'm Mr. New York and I don't know that. Do they still call you Mr. New York? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we ought to strip that title away. Now, people, again, this is another fact that people don't know, is you were appointed recently the special advisor to Mamdani, which is kind of cool. Yes. Are you on call? I just said, keep smiling, man. You got a good smile. You're a young man. Keep smiling. Keep smiling every time you talk. The kid's got a great smile, huh? Yeah. I mean, I voted for him. I don't, with not much information. They let you vote. They do. I just turned 18. I just turned 18. So that's one of the first things I wanted to do. You voted for him and why? Just I want your reasoning. We won't get into politics. But why did you like him? I just I mean, the honest answer is I just I think this is what I'm supposed to vote for. All right. I mean, I don't think I love Cuomo very much. He seemed kind of questionable. And the other guy, Curtis Sliwa, although he's a fellow cat owner. I don't know. I just didn't. He seemed like an interesting cat, that guy. Sliwa, is that what it was? Yeah. Yeah, I saw videos of him online. They really tried to defame that guy pretty hard on the internet. They wanted to like – did he do anything wrong? Why was there so much negativity around that guy? I think he's just like an insane character. So what? That's great. I think a lot of people liked him, but they also recognized that they don't want to – like they don't want to – what's – the Alaska lady. They didn't want to make it like – Sarah Palin. They didn't want people to like him so much that they would vote for him. I think they like to recognize that he's a crazy person. What's she doing now? She's still looking at Russia from her front porch. That was one of the funniest quotes on earth. I can see Russia from my front porch. As if this was this insane, powerful statement. It's like, what are you talking about? What, only you can see that? Yeah. I can see Russia. If you sat next to me on the porch, you would not see it. Hey, we're doing, it's never too late to do some Palin stuff, right? Yeah, let's not talk. How many young kids are like, who in the fuck are they talking about? I was going to say they're all Googling, but they don't even care enough to Google. No, they, what do you, they chat GPT everything. They don't even have the time. Are you AI guy or no? I had a show that I was advertising, and I never really tried very hard to make something on ChatGPT, and I just put something in. I was like, oh, shit, this is kind of – It's pretty good. It looks good, and then people got mad at me. Well, yeah. Which I understand, because I always – I hire lots of artists. Yeah, it's good. In my past, I've hired lots of artists, and on my latest tours, I have one. Yeah, you shouldn't use it, but it's kind of like porn. You're like, I'm going to look at it alone in my house and be happy, but I can't tell people what I'm looking at. I think if it's like for the sort of images, you know, just a list of cities I'm going to play, I think I could do that. Oh, no. People still get mad at you, man. And just do plain blue background or any color. But then you could just do that. I do with chat GPS. No, yeah. You could do it without it. See, I think that's – I have Canvas subscription also. Canvas? Canva. What's Canva? Canva is like a – it's like a graphic design website. Oh. Stealing more work from artists, I say. Yeah. No, he is the graphic designer. I know, dude. That's my new job, man. I should be better about getting artists to make stuff. I just don't. I don't really post. I just do like I'll just throw it up there and write. Come here, please. I mean, some people don't need fancy. That's a nice poster in the back that I'm looking at. That was. Yeah, that's a beautiful poster. Right. That's really good. Yeah. Some of those are really rad. You get you get. We have some fan art that people created for for Bad Friends a lot that are just incredible artists. But then I always feel like I, I don't know. There's something embarrassing about promotion. and it shouldn't be because it's like please come see me well i mean there's comedians who i when i think of them i think of their promotion go ahead and name them oh no i'm not of course i'm not i'm kidding i'm not gonna slag anyone i'll i'll slag somebody you know who's a real promotional whore someone who's like just repulsive about it dave attell this guy never stops promoting is he never not selling something he's got a reebok shoe deal now this guy it'd be really funny to see a tell do like a 180 commercial for choreo by mariotte yeah i'm struggling i saw you fishing he's a he's like that notorious he he to me is just like uh he is a comedic masterpiece yeah he just moves seamlessly in his own way and yeah it's kind of cool to it's it's i'm a fan but also like admire him too it's like he does very well but it's also seems underappreciated but tremendously so well i mean in the comedy world yeah i would argue comedy fans are very in tune with how yeah he's a badass yeah he's the fucking man but right i think in the in the bigger scale of what the internet has done for comedy i believe many young people perhaps aren't don't really know who that is yeah did you ever start with someone that you thought for sure was going to make it and didn't or vice versa someone you were like you thank you imagine if we started together when i was all right don't don't go all right um see he punches i punch there are i won't say that there was someone there are people who had their little moments in the sun yeah we're like they've got a development deal or they got a pilot that was a big deal back then yeah and and they thought you know probably justifiably thought they were on easy street But then Pilot doesn't go, and then they're fucking at the comic strip getting their $15 or whatever. Who is your oldest friend in comedy that you still consider a close friend? There's a guy I started with in Florida named Tom Ryan. Tom Ryan. Is he still in Florida? No, he's in New York. He's watching my cat, actually. Oh, he is? Yeah. Say hi to Tom. Hey, Tom. Shout out to Tom. Is he still doing stand-up? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. but uh who i mean sarah i've known sarah a long time sarah silverman really like pre-fame yeah is she famous yeah funny as famous as me and maybe definitely you she's more famous than me for sure yeah that's a fact um what about you my oldest friend in comedy is fahim anwar do you know him i just worked with him the past couple of days he's my he's very funny old he's one of the funniest guys i know he's my oldest friend we met we were kind of starting out together when he he was a he was an engineer for boeing jesus yeah it's not kind of wild he worked for boeing up until i think he got a tv credit like he was still working for boeing he had this guilt from his parents they couldn't not have a job yeah i'm just like what are you chasing this bullshit dream you know and he just had this and they're right but it's like i think he just had he held that for longer than he needed to because he's very talented guy yeah but it just sucks that like when people i'm lucky my parents i'm an idiot so my parents were like good luck at whatever you're fucking we can't believe you can still breathe and walk like that i i do think my parents are like remarkably supportive because i don't that i was like i don't know what i can do i know i love this thing this is the only thing i know i think i can do so i was like i have to try this yeah it always bugged me when i'd meet someone who like my parents will pay for my college but not if i major in theater it's like who gives a fucking kid do what the fuck they want and still pay for it yeah if you're willing to pay for it you shouldn't be like if you're gonna do something you can major in something you don't want to major and we'll pay for it it's like buying someone a meal they they hate it's like here's a meal that i like and i'm ready to eat if you don't eat it right right let's think of 20 more of those yeah let's go keep going we're going throwing one don't do it please yeah i don't understand that i was i was very lucky to have supportive parents that that you know but my parents were very blunt about it like i don't know how it was when you first started but like you know they were like i'm not going to give you any fucking money and we're definitely not going to be like a safety net but like fly for go do it go get a day job and then go try it but what kind of business are they in if i'm asked well but they're both long since retired my mom my dad was in sales he was just a he worked for turtle wax you know turtle wax I haven't thought about that. Yeah. Well, they burned out for a reason. Okay. People don't wash their cars anymore. Oh, that's true. They go to car washes? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but the old days of like the 70s of people like hand washing in their driveway, those are days that are dead. Really? Well, they slowly kind of petered out in like the late 90s, early 2000s. People took, I mean, I'm a car guy, so it's like very reflective of the industry. People, people, cars were being made less carefully and specially and kind of more production line. You slopped together plastic chunks of it for economic purposes. And so people had less pride in their vehicle. I think like when you bought a car 50 years ago, you like really gave a shit about that car. Now, nobody gives a fuck about their car unless you're a car person, which is a very small. In what sense are you a car person? You have multiple cars? No, someone that really loves – what I'm trying to say is a lot of friends that I have, it's a thing to get from A to B. They couldn't care less what it is. That's kind of the way I am. Right. So you're the majority now. But I do think 50, 60 years ago, that wasn't good. A lot of people – because you've bought a car. You kind of had pride in it because it's an expensive thing and they were made very well. And there was things about it that kind of had some Americana. Maybe that's all very Kerouac-y like this is my – I can go anywhere in this thing. It's a freedom. It's a piece of freedom. Now it's like it's just getting me to my fucking job. Or even more severe than that, don't even rent a car when you come to L.A. Yeah, you took an Uber, right. Severe wasn't the right word there. No, but I just like cars. I love the design aspects. I love the power of – I can think of two cars I like. What are they? I like these Jeeps I've been seeing. Like what are we talking about? It's kind of like a bigger Jeep it seems like. Like the largest version? Perhaps. The Wagoneer is what it's called? It's cool looking. That's the biggest one. They're bigger than the average Jeep Grand Cher. And I like these Fiats, these kind of small Fiats. The little tiny ones. You've gone from both ends of the scale. I mean, maybe I'll just buy one of each, right? You've got it like that. You keep doing Mad Mays, kid. I could be up all night going, should I get that one or that one? Fucking get them both, man. Get them both, man. I have fuck you money, man. I'm going to buy two cars and never drive them, man. You have fuck, comma, you money. I mean, I do have a garage. Do you have a garage? No, I'm just... Oh, I was like, holy shit, that would blow my money. That's what Seinfeld has. he does for all his cars and you and seinfeld are best best friends you're super tight you guys are tight you guys are good pals have you ever been in contact with seinfeld or you guys have any relationship whatsoever well here's where you didn't do your research i was on comedians and cars oh that's right you did the most polarizing episode ever i'm polarizing you mean in what way um you can look up polarizing later but well he has to do it for me just uh either people like you're the most shittiest guest ever shittiest yeah and then i had a woman i was eating alone in new orleans and the suede just other side of the fucking restaurant beelines over your episode of comedians and cars was my favorite i was like yeah that's cool fucking that made up well i do remember your episode you you um right you talked about uh uh living in your car and getting sent to the laugh factory i remember that getting sent to the laugh are you joking are you not tiffany haddish that episode i like have you ever had someone do that where they like you know what episode i like i like the other one oh well yeah or somebody goes todd do you know this comedian yeah i know oh i love that guy you're like okay well my wife hates you but uh i think you're fucking amazing hey here's a new way you could have said that yeah you're amazing i like you yeah that's all that's all i need to hear or i get i get sometimes i get someone hey can i get a photo and as we're taking a picture they go i'm not a fan but uh my buddy loves you i'm like okay i've had that that hurts my family sitting at a restaurant this one walks over she's my boyfriend's a fan of yours they sit down like go be with your boyfriend or send him over yeah Get him here. Get the fan over here. He's like, hey, I'll talk to him if you won't. Okay. I'll annoy him if you won't. But how often do you get recognized? Every day? Pretty much, yeah. I would say every day probably, yeah. L.A. is great because home, nobody gives a shit. It's great. It's like New York. No one gives a fuck about you in New York. It's wonderful. Well, no, no. I'm saying you. I mean you, not the royal you. I was – that was literal. No, I think New York and L.A. are cities that kind of are so – people don't really care. But when you go to another city, they're surprised. They always, what are you doing here? Yeah. Well, that's if you have a poorly promoted show. Yeah. What are you doing here? I'm doing a show at the place we're at right now. I've had – I mean, that's frustrating. We're like, what are you doing in town? I just did a show in the next building over. I'm right there right now. I'm a huge fan. What are you doing in my city? I'm each and we signed 30 of the exact headshots. I got in an elevator last night going back up to my hotel room and that one girl's I was holding a bag. And she was like, ooh, what's in the bag? And I said, it's none of your business. And they were being flirty and fun and I was tired. Yeah. And then she goes, oh, OK, what are you doing here? Because they were going to like a bar at the roof and I was going to my room. And I said, I'm in town for work. And the one girl goes, what do you do? And I said, finance. And the girl went, boo. And I loved that. I thought that was so funny. Boo in my face. It was fucking awesome. I was like, good on this girl. What do you think she did, though? So she didn't recognize you, though. I mean, so many areas for me to go. Huh? She clearly didn't recognize you. No, she didn't know who I was. It was great. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, they were drunk going up to a bar younger. What city was this? Phoenix. What hotel was it? The Remy. Oh. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Was it a corporate gig or something? No, I was doing the Tempe Improv. Okay. Okay. Yeah. You played there? Yeah, yeah, a bunch of, a few times. I went to school there. Really? Harvard of the West. Arizona State, that's what they say. Is that in Tempe? Tempe, right next to it. Where the Improv is is literally on the corner of the campus. That club is huge. No, is it? No, two, six, like 400 or something. No, I don't think it's that many. Tempe, look it up, look it up. I think it's at least 425. There's no way. Hold on. I mean, maybe that was 160 was your attendance, but. Oh, I sold out five shows. Okay. It is, I'll tell you right now. It is. $4,000. Yeah. $4,000. All right. Yeah. I won that one. Sold out five shows. Well, I won that one. Because you sold out five shows. Over $4,500. Wow. $4,500. Oh, okay. So that's more people. That's what it says. I won that one. Oh, fuck. You're right. Wait. We keep skipping. We keep jumping. We have like a tree of thought. The digression is terrible. Okay. The Den Theater in Chicago. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why did you pick Chicago? I don't know if I picked it or the All Things Comedy. Oh, they produced it. Yeah, they paid for it. And I think it was their choice. And they had another comic, Joe Bartnick? Yeah, Joe Bartnick. Yeah, so he was on the same weekend. He opens for Burr sometimes. Yeah, he's funny. Yeah. So it was like the same weekend. So they just could stay set up. Oh, so he filmed one, you filmed one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was better? Mine was. Let's go see joke by joke. Joke by joke. Point Barry. Point Barry. Point Barry. One Point Barry. That reminds me of one time Fitz, Greg Fitzsimmons. We were doing a show together years and years ago, and I said, Fitz, I have a joke that's similar to that. It's not the same, but we use a similar premise. and i was like oh i like i like that that was really good and i said uh i probably i just stopped doing it then and he goes well who does it better and i said oh you do and he goes yeah i'll keep doing it then that's funny i love fits he just called me from skank fest which and they're calling me skank fest is calling me saying where's todd where's todd your producer got up and quit it's actually my dream i want him to quit so bad he gets he just he lives this like such fun beautiful life as a 26 25 year old 26 year old what are you again 26 26 year old male right he lives a dream he lives alone i never lived alone when i was 26 i had four roommates in one bathroom really yeah well you had roommates yeah i was gonna say at 26 i remember even like even in new york i had the best room i'd ever had was brian kiley do you know him the comic I don't know why it sounds like that, but no, I'm going to say no. He wrote for Conan Forever. Oh, okay. And he's a super nice guy, but he lived in Boston, but got this job when Conan was in New York. So he would go on Fridays, he would just go straight to work from Boston. And then, I'm trying to remember what he did. He somehow, it was like four days without a roommate every week. Oh, right. Right. Fucking, why am I blanking on the detail, man? There he is. He looks like Matt Walsh a little bit. Matt Walsh was the other roommate. There you go. The right-wing blogger. That's right. Oh, yeah, that Matt Walsh. Not. Right. You're right. Right. You know Matt. You know Mr. Matt Walsh. Yeah, the good one. The comic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the comedian. He's great. Who's the other Matt Walsh? Oh, there's a right-wing. He's like a Daily Wire, Matt Walsh. Like, conservative guy. What does he look like? Maybe I do know who that is Matt Walsh which one do you like more Oh I remember the schedule now Give it to me He would fly in on Friday I think from Boston go straight to work then leave and go back to Boston and come back straight to work on Monday Does that make sense? Yeah. So he was barely there. He was barely there. Yeah. He never needed to be there. Thanks, God. I remember that guy. Oh, that guy. That guy. Yeah, I've seen that guy on the Internet. Yeah. Well, you're a conservative pundit. Everyone kind of knows. You've got your new conservative show. I'm a libertarian and a conservative pundit. At the same time. Right. Yeah. But you've got a new show that you're going to be premiering called Berries, Berries. Right? Is that what it's called? Berries, Berries? It is. It's a right-wing show. And it's all about the fruit industry. It's all the right-wing's view of fruit. Not all riffing works, you know? Sometimes you riff and it's great. I think sometimes that does work better. When it doesn't work, it works very well. It worked because I pointed it out that it didn't work. Now people are like, the tension's been diffused. It's not tension. I mean, there's a sexual tension when you walked in. You still got it, kid. My God. Have you done Chappelle's Club? No, I bought this on Etsy. Really? Yeah. No, I did it. Yeah, I did it. I did. I played the club. And then we did summer camp. this year you know what that is um you never went to jewish summer camp as a kid i did no i actually was supposed to go to jewish summer camp and i bailed the night before really mom i don't want that's not for you i don't want to do this because i went to day camp you ever go to day camp basically you go home but it's camp but i i it was too regimented for me and it just i've always been a loose cannon you really are a wild card wild card have you gone out to yellow rinks to chapelle's no but he invited me for sure you have my phone number i go yeah no i don't actually have your phone number give me the number but then he introduced me to someone who i think books it it just hasn't happened for something you gotta do you it's it's honestly one of the most fun i've ever had it's beautiful you play in this like outdoor pergola and everyone's outside and it's in this big gorgeous field but surrounded by trees and it's very pretty it's very very it sounds good yeah you should you gotta go do it he's a good egg that's chapelle he's a good egg that's it that's what they say he's a good egg that's your pal did you make up that good egg expression you never heard good egg you know good egg that's a midwest thing they say yeah he's a good egg meaning like yeah he's i know what a good egg all right i've been called it up my whole life no chance no chance you're a rotten egg when uh are you on tour now a little bit a little bit you're doing clubs i'm doing a little bit of clubs now i'm doing some casinos you know doing Casinos and clubs. Yeah. You don't like those? I like a casino when it's in a weird place and it's not like people are just camp there. Sure. And like, I guess we should see comedy tonight. And then, you know, they always give out 600 comps. Yeah. Sure. I once got an offer from a club in Atlantic City. I'm not going to mention what it was. But the contract said, we have a right to let 100 people in for free. And your guest list is limited to eight. These are people who aren't going to pay? Like, can I get 30 people in who aren't going to pay? No, they're like, no. It's our specialty. It's probably because they want the high rollers in there. Yeah, they want the people that are spending all the money. Now, I'm doing a little bit of casinos and then go back to clubs again at some point next year. You're on the move. You're on the run, aren't you? Yeah. How many dates do you got lined up? Now? Yeah. I don't even know. Bring it up. Bring up ToddBerry.com. Whoa. Or what's your website? Your website's got to be... ToddBerry.com. Got it. Knew it. I've been guessing that stuff for years. I'm good at it. It's exciting to fucking get to ToddBerry.com forever. Well, because Todd Berry. I mean, that's a little too common. Andrew Santino is probably not going to get scooped. Todd Berry will get scooped. Do you have AndrewSantino.com? I have .org. Seriously? No, I have .com. Yeah, I have .com. What is it? He's playing East Greenwich, Rhode Island. Greenwich. Richmond, Virginia. Virginia. On the 30th. Love it. Portsmouth, New Hampshire on the 4th of December. Armory at MGM Springfield on December 5th. I guess that's sort of a casino. And 6th. That is. crescent theater on the 11th and mobile howling wolf on the 12th and new orleans oh the new orleans fun howl or the and is he playing a new year's eve show not yet you need to are you doing one no i'd never do them yeah i like doing them because the money like even in justin to see the money's bigger yeah and if you really want to go out then just go out whenever you're done yeah it's fun i mean i don't really do anything for new years i'd rather i don't like do a big parties i like to just it's like almost like a vacation kind of don't like all holidays you like one of them what halloween you love halloween i like that people leave out bowls of candy like at you know hotels and stuff like that because i love candy you got a sweet tooth i don't have a sweet well i was i guess i just said i love candy and then tried to deny that i have a sweet tooth can't have it both ways on that one odd improv there yeah i love candy i I call myself out on that. I'm tough, but I'm fair even with myself. You don't have a sweet tooth? You think you do? No, I do, but I'm not. Sometimes I could take a bite of a piece of cake, and I'll be like, all right, that did it. That's fine. One bite? It depends on what cake. It's a little masochistic. What kind of cake do you like? I like ice cream cake. Ice cream cake? Fucking seven years old? What's going on? I haven't had ice cream cake. From Carvel? I'll get them for me. Yeah, Carvel's pretty good. I'll take a Carvel. I like ice cream cake a lot. You get cake and ice cream. Yeah. Why would we separate them? It doesn't make any fucking sense. Put it together. Oh, you got to keep it in the fridge. Yeah, you keep it in the fridge anyway. Freezer. No, I'm in the fridge when you're ready to eat, my friend. Oh, really? Yeah. Let it thaw a little bit. Soften it up. When's the last time you purchased an ice cream cake? This morning at 1030 in the morning. Seriously? No, God, Todd. What's your, what is your, you don't drink no drugs, know nothing i drink a little bit but very rarely um i feel like i've only seen you blacked out once on the news it was tmz did you see that clip of him todd barry's wiener is out on manhattan's fifth avenue running amok you drink on planes never neither do i it's you're dehydrated already it's a bad idea yeah sometimes i just see someone ordering a drink and i get a headache Yeah, right. But I've never understood, like, you fly to, like, on an hour and a half flight. Yeah, can I get a double gin tonic? It's a fucking hour flight, my friend. And it's also six in the morning. So most of the time, it's a guy doing it right at six, seven in the morning. I'm like, I just always wonder, what's going on at 10 o'clock at night with this motherfucker? Just what's going on at 10 o'clock in the morning? Also, I have, in the past, I learned to not drink on flights. Because when I did it, when I first started touring in my 20s, I'd get drunk and hung over on the same flight. Because coming from L.A., every flight from here is forever. Yeah. It's no quick flight. We're not like you guys. You guys bounce around. If I'm coming anywhere, it's going to take a couple hours. What do you mean we bounce around? It's so easy to get from New York to all these. We'll see. The East Coast is quite concentrated. Yeah. And then the West Coast is not. Maybe you've never been to a place called Wyoming. No. Oh, shit. That's not the East Coast. That's not the East Coast. I knew that. Yeah. It's just far for anywhere. Like Denver's two hours. Do you – are you one of these Burbank Airport? I just flew in two hours ago to Burbank. People are, it's the best. It's the best. It's just not as bad as LAX. That's correct. That would make it the best. It's not a particularly amazing airport. Well, what would make it an amazing airport? Great food choices. That's insane. You eat at the airport? Are you seven? Wow. See? You see how this happens? I didn't come here to get attacked. You started it. No, airports, the only thing that makes an airport wonderful to me is how easily I can get in and out of that place. Yeah. I want nothing to do with it. I don't want it to exist I want it to do let me get through the thing as fast and get out of the thing as fast I love a good small airport like an Asheville North Carolina airport oh that's the fucking greatest yeah it doesn't exist security is one guy you know hey man how you doing sweet coming back like when I landed I had to go to their LA exit I had to go to the Uber Lyft park pick up area oh yeah yeah yeah it seemed like a four hour walk it's a nightmare again when it was probably ten minutes but it seemed with us Burbank Do you fly first class every flight? I fly the plane. I ask to fly the plane. There's an upgraded ticket now if you want to get up in the jump seat. I guess we can't ask serious questions. Do I fly first class everywhere? I do. I do. I do. So you'll buy a first class ticket? I do buy a first class ticket, yeah. What if it's like $4,000? I'm accruing a high amount of debt on my credit card. Are you? Yeah, I might as well. Because, you know, I learned recently, we talked about this, that if you die with a lot of debt, it just gets, you know, gets taken care of. What if I pulled out a gun right now? Okay. Kill me. I don't give a shit. No, I don't want to. Rather, we're both comics. How funny would it be if you carried a gun? Todd carries a gun around? Yeah, he's got a knife. Throw it at him. This guy's prepared. Yeah. No, I do buy the ticket because when we travel, I like it. You never do it? I have occasionally, but it's usually like it's fucking like to upgrade my flight back to L.A. from L.A. to New York is like three, like three thousand dollars. That's insane. Three thousand dollars? Yeah. Sometimes I do with miles and a little small cash amount there. I like my I like miles and cash. I'll do that. Do you like the lounges? I bet you love the lounges. I usually get there right before we take off. But you're a cut it close guy. Yeah. But if we if we go early as the crew, yeah, then we'll sit around in the lounge. But most days, if I'm flying solo, baby, I'm there. Don't worry about, like, missing a flight. Why worry? Why me? Worry? What was it, Alfred? You've got no care what me worry. What me worry? You have no worries in the world, man. What would I be worried? No, I don't. Yeah, no. Like a traffic jam. Okay. That makes you miss your flight. I've never done it yet. Really? I think these things, it's almost like putting a case on your phone. It's why I don't have this either. This is all societally imposed. Really? I don't break phones. I don't put a case on. I'll break it on. If you think about it going to happen, it probably is going to happen. If you manifest it? Yeah, it's you doing that. Oh, I can't. What if I'm late to the flight? You won't be. Just make it so you won't be. That's why I won't be. I don't know if it's related. Like if I take a drug or something, like a prescription drug, I try not to always read the side effects. Because you'll get one. Because you'll be like, oh, yeah, I'm sorry. My toes are kind of tingly. Of course. Of course. Yeah. Let me guess the prescription drugs that you're on. No. All right. Oh, shut it down. God, you really did. I'm not on antidepressants or anything like that. That's not what I was going to guess. Oh, then probably yes. Everyone is on Ozempic now. That's the new thing. Yeah. You've been skinny your whole life. You don't have to worry about that. Right. You've never battled it. No, I haven't. Yeah. Were you a fat kid? No, I've always had a little bit of a gut, pot belly. I don't know how to get rid of it. That's good for you. It is? No, it's bad for you, actually. It means your heart's working overtime. Fuck, I think you might be right about that. are you on are you on cholesterol medication yeah but it was yeah i am the statin i'm on a statin yeah yeah how many milligrams oh god let's say at the same time one two three oh you don't know no ten i think i'm ten also ten yeah it's not a competition time it says here that a pot belly is not good for you it's a visible sign of serious health risks including heart problems diabetes and certain cancers this is often due to a buildup of dangerous visceral fat that wraps on your organs which can be caused by an unhealthy lifestyle fuck well how does that feel so glad i did this podcast you don't have a belly i've never noticed i don't think i have a i don't know a gigantic belly but i have a little bit of belly i think you're a regular size man as far as i'm concerned thank you paul simon why am i soft in the middle now one of the best lines of all that's a good line that's like one of the great sometimes a line hits you so hard and it's it's just a throwaway line but when i first heard that i thought yeah that is true as soon as you get a little bit older you're like why am i soft in the middle now and when did it happen i can't even mark the moment it happened he has no fucking idea what that feels like a 25 year old six year old kid they don't know like that's a thing that just happens right we're like why am i more tired because of that thing that never used to make me tired yeah how many times are you peeing in the middle of the night seven no i know you mark it on the wall 85 um sometimes none i'm almost always one but generally if i am doing that's one one and one a night and what time is it do you have is it pretty clockworky um maybe after i've kind of done a full night's sleep maybe mine's like 4 45 almost on the nose every night 4 30 4 45 do you sleep well no do you i sleep pretty well yeah but how can you sleep knowing the abuse you voiced on your guests voice is that that's a word right yeah to voice something yeah yeah that's true um so what do you do for that do you take a sleeping pill no that's good no i just let it ride just gonna die early what time do you go to sleep 3.30. Yeah. Yeah, I've got about an hour to sleep. No, I'm in bed most nights by midnight, give or take. Really? You're tired now. Just suddenly felt like midnight right then. Midnight for me. Do you play any, like, white noise? Yeah, white noise. Like from your phone? Yep. Yeah. We have a machine. See, the machine seems, like, unnecessary at this point, right? Does it? Well, if you can do it with your phone. but this one has different kinds of noise and this one's scientifically created to make the best white noise scientifically you think your phone wasn't scientifically created this not the white noise app it's actually my white noise app is a guy going it's just a man you bomb tonight you bomb tonight you bomb tonight because you know that calm the meditation app yeah i don't got some sleep things on there does that work like infinite piano it's kind of nice to have a little But you pay for the app. It is a free version, and also Spotify has. Does the free version of White Noise have ads during the middle of the night? I know. Hey, Big Tommy's. I don't know what Big Tommy's is. Come on, man. You were right there. Ring it out. Skateboard repair shop. I don't know about that. And those are making a comeback, those skateboard repair shops. They're all over the place. Has that ever existed? Never. No chance. That's like a vacuum repair store. They used to be all over West Hollywood. I was like, these are drug fronts. This couldn't be a business. But I think those kind of businesses are good because I'm the guy in L.A. who fixes that. Fixes the vacuum? Yeah. Just buy a new vacuum. Are they that expensive, a vacuum? I've only ever gotten them for free on the street. That's what I mean. I got a free one. I used to do this thing called Free Stuff for Todd as a hashtag on Twitter. And I'd just say, can you give me your product? And they would just give it to you. So much shit I got. What's the best thing you got from free products for Todd? I'll just rattle off a few things. Go ahead. Fucking couch. Huge. I got a $450 Dyson vacuum. That's an overpriced vacuum. Not when it's free, it ain't. That's correct. A bunch of kombucha, protein bars, RX bars, cold brew coffee. Love that. Yeah. I love a cold brew. You're a hot coffee, cold coffee, or weather dependent? I like my standard audience order is an Americano, iced Americano. Iced Americano? Not too much water. Some places give you like a ton. It gets watery, but if you get it in a small cup. I would have never guessed you're an iced Americano guy. Sugar? No. Cream? No. These are my nicknames, by the way. So I responded to both of them. Yeah. I used to, I heard some, well, I feel like coffee is one thing where I'm like, here's something i enjoy a lot and it doesn't have any calories so why ruin it with milk but i used to drink i do like it with milk but i've never been like a latte person no that's too much 200 calories or something i like i like old school drip coffee i'm pretty traditional i don't really like a pour over and probably not i like a pour over yeah yeah yeah but i just like a i just like what i just it reminds me of like my grandma just a big pot of coffee in the morning i just like that i don't know it's more it's more nostalgic than anything do you make your own coffee every day holy shit yeah now that's a business i'm not supporting the the inflated world of coffee really no i go to there's a shop here i go to all the time because i love the people so much that work there what's it called priscilla's priscilla's coffee shop yeah it's good it's phenomenal do you live in this area where you're in right now yeah yeah i do yeah you want to come over i'll come over for coffee but i would love to go uh we have do we have to go get it i say I would make you a to-go cup of coffee just to have you at the house for a second. I think Maren once made me a coffee. Was it bitter? Oh, man. The amount you think that you enjoyed that is pretty impressive. It was fun. It's fun. Mark is the prince of darkness. He's the sweetest mean guy I've ever met in my entire life. Do you know Mark well? Yeah, I've known him forever. He's the sweetest mean guy I know. That's a good description. He's never been mean to me. Well, there's reason. He feels bad. He's like, I can't be mean to Todd. Have you been on a show? I did do a show. I did do a show, and now it's gone. Rest in peace. How many times did you do it? I did a bunch at the beginning before it was big, like when he was sneaking in. I don't know if he was sneaking in, but he would go to radio stations when they weren't on or something. I don't know. You never did it at the house? I did it at the house and I did it at the new house at the new house in the garage yeah and now you've been here now I've been here man is this the roof? this feels like the top does it get any higher than this? as far as podcasts go? no this is the fucking it's almost depressing knowing that nothing will live up to this so I'm going to take this with you take this feeling this whole studio he can take it with you do you own this i guess you do right for now oh you rent it we rent it until they shut us down kick us out should i i should start a podcast i had a podcast for a while but i wasn't making any money yeah but it's not about the money okay it's about the love but i love to make money yes you do boom man that was artistry That was great, man. I do want to say, I love you. I want to tell my audience, thank you for sticking around to watch Todd abuse me for an hour. Please go watch his special on YouTube. He's one of the greatest comics alive. It's a great special on YouTube and he's on tour. So please go to ToddBerry.com and go see him at any of those dates that McCone rattled off. We'll put him up on the screen. The link for a special will be in the description down below. And we end the show the same way. You look into that camera and you say one word or one phrase to end the episode, in part with a word of wisdom, perhaps, or a quote or something that you think people need to hear to end this episode. Perfection. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger field. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilies. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.