Self Driving Cars/The Birth of Soup

Hey StoryPires podcast listeners, Lee here! On today's episode, Siegfried the Orange, brave Viking warrior, becomes the king of a small micro nation called Svensensfjord, I think. And he may or may not let his new power go to his head. And of course, we have two brand new stories written by kids, and more story love with Lee and Peter, and it's all coming up after a few words for the grownups! Ah, now this is a view! Siegfried, I must say, the way you're standing with one foot on that rock while looking out at the horizon is quite dramatic. Thank you, Megan! There's something about a rugged landscape that stirs my Viking blood, makes me long for my battling days! Haha, Kevin, you are too much. Eric, whom are you talking to? Oh, sorry, I just got an email from my cousin Kevin. He loves to send me these long joke email threads. What's that one? It's a Dalmatian driving a tractor with a thought bubble that says, Tuesdays are terriers. I don't get it. Neither do I, but it's so funny if you know Kevin. I hate to be that Viking, but back in my day, we were better off without all this instant communication. What? You didn't share funny jokes back in the ten hundreds? Oh, we did! My cousins loved sending people prank messages. How did people actually send messages back then? Well, either you'd walk it there yourself, send a raven, or profanity events, attach the message to a flaming arrow and launch it towards your friend's longhouse. Wasn't that dangerous? Oh, extremely! Why do you think I'm always looking up and out at the horizon? It's not just for dramatic effect. You're constantly on the lookout for flaming arrows raining down from the sky? Naturally. Siegfried, I'm pretty sure you don't need to worry about that anymore. Megan, could you take a small step to your right? Ah, is there better light? Sure. How's this? Just one more step. Here? Perfect. Aren't you going to take my picture? No, I just didn't want you to get hit by that flaming arrow coming down from the sky. Sorry, what now? Ooh, I've got mail! I love story pirates! It just filled me up with joy. My mom loves the jokes. Yo, yo, my Jack. It made me very proud about my writing. Driving to the... I vote Sour! I definitely think I can be more creative now. I'm the champion! The story pirates. Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast, everyone! Where we take stories written by kids and turn them into sketch comedy and songs! And today, Sikfrid has just received a fancy message via flaming arrow. How exciting! I haven't received Viking mail in nearly a thousand years! Let's see. To Sikfrid the Orange of Northumbria, we regret to inform you that His Majesty, King Svens-Fensen, Lord of the Micronation of Svensensfjord, has passed away. Svensensfjord? Where is that? Never heard of it. Keep reading. Having left no direct heir to the throne, the Svensensfjordians archivists have traced the late king's lineage back hundreds of years and discovered that his closest living relative is his 14th cousin, 12 times removed. One... Sikfrid the Orange. Sikfrid! You're a king? I see what this is. This is clearly another prank from my cousins. This is exactly the kind of stunt they would pull. Really? Yes! One time they sent me a raven that tricked me into giving them my treasure cave password. I really should have used two falcon authentication. What? But Sikfrid, when's the last time you saw your cousins? Hey, no offense, but didn't everyone you know live a thousand years ago? Huh. That's a fair point. Although could it be that I'm actually a king? Maybe. But don't let it get to your head. No. No, of course not. Hey, while Sikfrid avoids letting this go to his head, should we do a story? Yeah! Yeah. Very good indeed. Great! And here to introduce it is the author. Hi, my name is Gray and I'm 10 years old and I live in Colorado. This is my story, so, if you're having fun. What a beautiful day! It sure is, dear. Dad, hurry! We need to get to soccer practice. Alright, jump in the car. Oh, not that car, kiddo. The new one! Dad, let's just take the old car. I didn't get a self-driving car to not self-drive it around. But you're not driving it around. It's driving you around and it's creepy. Come on! I told Reggie's dad he could take a look at it while you guys scrimmage. Watch this. You just press this button then. The car doors open! Pretty neat, huh? Now son, jump in the car. Hi there! Where do you want to go? Soccer practice. Haha! Okay. Pretty cool, huh? I'll feel better once we're out of this car. Sounds like somebody is excited for practice. Ew! It's listening to our conversation. This is the latest in car technology. Just because it's the latest doesn't mean it's the best. Yes, it does. See? Two against one. Whatever, Dad. Here we are at soccer practice. Thanks, amazing self-driving car. You got it. Hey, Brad! Come check out my self-driving car! Oh, heck yeah! I'll be right over! I guess I'll see you after practice. Huh? Oh yeah. Have fun, kiddo. Hey, get this, Brad. The guy told me the decals are on backorder, but once I get them, it's gonna look like it's going twice as fast. Heck yeah! Dad, did you see my awesome gold during the scrimmage? Definitely! I would have if I hadn't been talking to Brad. Oh, sorry, Sport. But look, I got you this as a reward. Whoa, an orange sports drink. Thanks, Dad. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, don't drink that out here. Drink it in the car. It'll taste way better. Fine. Welcome back! Hello, car! I missed you. Where do you want to go? Take us to home. Oh, whoops. I accidentally spilled the sports drink all over the car. Okay, going to home. Uh, the Eiffel Tower. Oh, no. Get out of the car! No! You will never get out of this car! See, Dad? I was right when I said I don't trust this car! There's gotta be a way to get out. Aren't there, like, directions in the glove box? Just read the pamphlet. Never! I didn't get a self-driving car so that I could read a pamphlet. Try opening the doors. You will never get out of this car! There's Brad just leaving the parking lot. Wave both your arms so he knows something is wrong. Aw, heck yeah. Brad, we're locked in! I can't believe we're going to be stuck in this car all the way to Paris, France! You should have listened to me, Dad. You two seem to be in some conflict. Why don't you let me do the talking the whole way there? Oh, no! Which is why I prefer sunrise to sunset. This car has been talking non-stop since we left Socter Practice weeks ago! We're never gonna get there! We're here! The Eiffel Tower! Oh, how about that? Oh, wow. It's so much more majestic and person- How do we get across the ocean? The tower is named after the engineer Gustave Eiffel, who also worked on the Statue of Liberty. That is actually very cool. That's really cool. Look, it's a French tour guide! Allo? Ah, ah, bonjour! We're stuck in a sub-pacing car! We don't speak French! What did she say? She said you cannot park here. Pardonnez-moi! Wait, no! No! Where do you want to go? We want to go home! Wait! The last time we said where we wanted to go, you spilled orange sports drink on the car and it took us to the Eiffel Tower! Yeah, so? What if this time we say we want to go to the Eiffel Tower, then spill orange sports drink and then maybe it'll take us back home? Why don't we just read the pamphlet? Enough with the pamphlet! Give me the orange sports drink. Okay. Car, take us to the Eiffel Tower! Buh! What? No! We've been driving forever! We're never gonna get to Machu Picchu! We're here! Oh, wow! Machu Picchu! Beautiful! People live here? No, they don't. What? They used to. Wait, not now? I actually don't know. What? Machu Picchu is known as the lost city of the Incas because it was hidden from invaders for centuries. Look, it's a Peruvian tour guide. Maybe they can help us. I do speak a little Spanish. He said, you can't park here. Maybe I can get them to help us. Por favor, estamos en Trapados dentro de este coche autonomo. Claro que sí! Adios! No! Where do you want to go? Please, just look at the pamphlet. I'm gonna try this one more time. Car! Take us home! Sports drink! Okay, driving to the moon! Dad? Okay. That one's on me. We're lifting off into space. You have to do something. Look at the pamphlet! Never! Why? Because this is a self-driving car. And using a pamphlet would be going backwards. And we're supposed to be moving forward. But dad, we're not moving forward. We're moving up into space. We couldn't be going more in the wrong direction if we tried. But... Oh, wow. From the mouths of babes. All right, fine! Let me see that pamphlet for real this time. Did you see my reading glasses? They're on my head. Okay. What if I say... And the... Huh? What is it, dad? I forgot the emergency shut off button. It's right here behind the steering wheel. There was an emergency shut off button this whole time! Hold on, now. Don't we want to think this through? We did it! Let's go home! Um, who? You know, that might be a little tricky because I think we are... Yep, we're floating in space. Oh, man. It's gonna take forever to get back. I'm sure it won't take that long. Wow! Ah, race for impact! Dad, we did it. We made it home. That didn't take forever, but it certainly took longer than I thought. Where have you two been? Oh, hey, hun. Mom, we were in space. For 20 years? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. What now? Nice landing. Heck yeah! Hey, it's Brad! The end! And now, Lee speaks with the author. Gray, you wrote self-driving cars, right? Yeah. Can you tell me how you came up with the idea for that story? Well, we were driving in a car and, um, we were... The navigation, we got directions to somewhere and it accidentally miscommunicated and said we were going to the Eiffel Tower. And I thought, oh, that'd be funny if a car actually brought you to the Eiffel Tower. How long did it say the drive would be? I think it said like a week or two weeks or something. You live in Colorado, right? Right, yeah. So how would you drive to France? I don't know. Maybe it's like taking you on a boat, maybe? Uh-huh, uh-huh. I think next time that you are in your car, I want you to ask it to take you to the Eiffel Tower and see what it says. See if we can answer this question. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a good idea. You kind of sound like you don't think it's a good idea. In your head, does the car in your story have a distinct voice? Yeah, probably like this, driving to the Eiffel Tower or something. That's hilarious. And I also noticed that you wrote your story in dialogue. Is that right? Yeah, I kind of like writing in dialogue. It kind of makes you know who's talking. And so I've read a few stories when it's like, oh yeah, I'm going to the beach. Oh yes, so am I. You don't know who's saying it, so I like writing in dialogue. At the end of the story, it takes them 18 years to go home. Yes. That poor mom waiting almost 20 years for her family to come back. I wonder what she was doing all that time. Do you have any idea? Oh no, maybe my mom drinks coffee a lot. So I'm going to go to coffee. 20 years is a lot of cups of coffee. Maybe like a hundred gallons. All right, bye Gray. Bye. Oh, that was fantastic. I love that story. Didn't you think that story was great, Siegfried? Uh, Siegfried? Huh, must have gotten back on the ship. Let's go. Oh, hey Peter, what are you doing outside the ship holding that spear? I'm standing guard, Megan. Why? His Majesty King Siegfried, first of his name, has assigned me this post. King Siegfried? Oh, come on. He's not really a King, Peter. I don't know. He made a pretty convincing case when he said to me, hey Peter, I'm a King now. Let us in, please. We have to talk to Siegfried. Hold on. I must unwind. I must announce you. Oh, Harold. Yes, guard. What is it? Baby with a mustache. Not you too. These two wish to see the King. One does not simply see the King. One must be granted an audience. Uh, okay. Can we have one? Oh, well, he did just finish his appointment with the royal tailor for his new robes and crown, and he has a little time before his throne is delivered. So very well. Follow me. I know this is ironic coming from me, but this is all a bit much, right? Harold, who goes there? Your Majesty. I present Lord Eric of the Depths and Lady Megan, the Queen of Drama. Honestly, I don't hate it. Me neither. Ah, Megan and Eric, my old friends. I see that you've come to pay fealty to your new King. Very wise. Fealty? How dare you think we know what that means. Siegfried, I thought you said you weren't going to let this go to your head. And I haven't. Cupbearer, why is my drinking horn empty? So sorry, Your Majesty. More mead, right away. Rolo, why are you feeding into this? I don't know. I'm a people pleaser. Enough! Either you have come to swear loyalty to your new Lord, or to declare yourself enemy of the realm. Siegfried, you said so yourself this probably isn't real. Where even is Spenzen's Fjord? It's wherever I say it is. I'm pretty sure that's not how countries work. It is now. By royal decree, I've decided that Spenzen's Fjord is wherever I hold this. The Royal Spenzen's Fjord Sword. Whoa, where'd you get that? I made it. How? Why? I forged Siegfried's Spenzen's Fjord Sword to warn the hordes that dare swarm Spenzen's Fjord's scores of fjord stores. And also to roast the Spenzen's Fjord's Lord's s'mores. What? Seize them! Eric, follow my lead. Are we going to make a break for it? We surrender! What? Sorry I panicked. I'm actually a cowgird. Seize them, I said! Run! Hey, get back! Quickly, to the fire pole room. We have a fire pole room? Yes, but don't ask me why. But why? Oh, shoot, sorry. There they are! Here it is! Where does the fire pole go? We're about to find out. Let's go! Find them! We'll be right back after a few words for the grown-ups. That fire pole went on a lot longer and was a lot less straight than seems possible. That's because it was designed that way. Huh? Who are you? You'd look like... no, Fence. A Viking peasant. That's I am. Just a loyal Spenzen's Hordean subject of his Majesty the King. How about you, strangers? I'm not a Viking peasant. I'm not a Viking peasant. I'm not a Viking peasant. Are you a Viking or a stranger? What? No, Siegfried isn't really a king. That's absurd. Well in that case, I suppose I can dramatically reveal that I'm actually... Nimminy! Look, it's Nimminy. Yeah, I just said that. Alright. Sorry for the deception. I needed to be sure that you were truly part of the Resistance. The Resistance? The rest of the story pirates have either joined the tyrant We have a dungeon? Yes, don't ask me why. Why do we- ah, sorry, too slow again. If we hope to overthrow Siegfried, we must first free Lee and Rachel from their cell. But it's guarded by the Great Beast. What are you talking about? What beast? Don't ask me why. Why is there a beast? Too late, I asked. There just is, okay? Let's go! I can't take it anymore, Rachel! Feels like we've been locked up in this dungeon for ages! Look, I've already carved ten notches in the wall to count the days! Lee, I think it's only been ten minutes. What?! Nooooooooo! Perhaps you're right. Perhaps all hope is truly lost. Um, sorry to interrupt, but friendly reminder that prisoners are not allowed to talk. Curse you binky the Narwhal dungeon master! Heh, so sorry. Greetings, Narwhal! Who goes there? Tis I the peasant, not Niminie. And I have brought two more prisoners. Unhand us, you villain! Yes, let us go! Quiet, you two! Oh no! They got Megan and Eric! All hope is truly, truly lost! Yes, I shall lock them up! But first, I gotta grab the keys. Thanks in advance for your patience. If we were underwater, I'd be faster, but here on the ship I have to travel via this wagon while doggy paddling with my fins on the ground. It's slow going. BRB! Eugh, eugh, eugh! Eugh, here I go! Wow, I told you! Takes a while! Eugh! Wow, I may should rest for a second. Um, no, no, I'm fine! Here we go! I'm still going towards the keys! Do you want to push, maybe? No, I got it! Eugh, eugh! This is getting awkward. Yeah! Almost there! Yes! Oh, whoops! I fell over! Can somebody help me? Push me back up? Oh, never mind. I'll just take a nap! Brrr! I honestly thought this rescue would be more exciting. This is a rescue? It is! Whoa! Incredible nymphony reveal, yes! The first one was better. Now that we are at full strength, it's time to head back up to the throne room and take back the kingdom. Why isn't any of this happening? Let's go! Your Majesty, I have returned. Ah, yes. Peter caught me trying on my new crown. What do you think? Is it a little much? Whoa, the antlers attached to it are ten feet tall. Yes, well, heavy is the head, as they say. In this case, very heavy. I can't really move. Anyway, I trust that you've found the rebels and thrown them in the dungeon. Oh, right! That's what I was doing. Honestly, as soon as I left the room, my brain went... Brrr! What kind of guard are you? I... I... No guard at all! Nymphony, the leader of the rebels! I've sought you for ages! But finally, the day of reckoning has upon us! Ages? Didn't this all start like 15 minutes ago? Impossible to say. I left my tally marks behind. Siegfried, you aren't a king! Sphinx's fjord is not a real place. Someone is clearly pranking you. How dare you! I see now that I must rise from my throne and show you my full power! I am! Oh, shoot! The antlers on my helmet puncture the ceiling! Oh, no. I can't move. Ah! Help! My gigantic head is stuck! It's over, Siegfried. You're not a king! Ah! As long as I hold the Sphinx's fjord sword, none can question me! You mean this Sphinx's fjord sword? The Sphinx's fjord... Sorry. Man, that is really hard to say. Ahem. This sword? No! My Sphinx's fjord sword! By your own decree, I now hold the power of the kingdom! Cursus! Your logic is ironclad! My kingdom is conquered! I am... defeated! Does that mean there's a new leader now? It sure does! Oh, hell, Queen Meghan! No, stop it. She's not a queen. Well, he did decree that whoever has... Meghan! Oh, alright. As queen, I hereby disband the kingdom. Everyone is free! Yay! Our savior! Oh, it was nothing. Literally. Meghan, your incredible sacrifice has shown me the truth. But I maybe... Let this all just... A little bit... Go to my head. You think? Now that I do think about it, this is... Exactly the kind of prank my cousins would pull. Well, either way, at least we can finally... Hey, Meghan! Sorry. Can you take one step to the left? Oh, sure. Better light? Uh, yes. And step... Ah! Ooh, I've got more mail! Uh, could someone read it? I'm still stuck. I got it. It says... Dear King Siegfried, perhaps it's time to do another story. Love your cousins. My... my cousins? Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah! Oh, wow! Oh, dear! Oh, they got me! Ah! They got me so good! Ah! Oh, man! I love those guys! And here to introduce it is the author. Hi, I'm Josie. I'm eight years old and I live in Elinor. This is my story, The Birth of Soup. Well, hello, Senora Celery. My bestie who's family invented celery. Hello, Senora Carrot, my friend who's family created carrots. And look who's also strolling through the center of our fair town, Chicken Nugget Villa. It's Sir Chicken Soup. Hey, friends. What food did your family invent again, Sir Chicken Soup? That's just it. My family invented nothing. It's the worst. It's okay, Sir Chicken Soup. It'll happen for you one day. We believe in you. Well, I was kicking around some ideas that involved cooking a variety of things in liquid. But I don't know. Attention, attention, citizens of Chicken Nugget Villa. Hold that thought, Sir Chicken Soup. The mayor's going to address the whole town. Greetings, citizens. It is I, Mayor Vegetable, from the family who invented vegetables with an important proclamation. Oh, no. No, no, no more grumbling. This one is a good one I promise. Is it going to be like the time you banned bagels because you thought they looked like they were screaming at you? It does look like they're screaming at me. But no, this one is different. My new totally reasonable rule for the whole town is no more hot, spilly foods. Why? I have my reasons. They're very, very important and I'm never going to tell you. By the way, if anyone breaks this rule, you'll be thrown into the Chicken Nugget Villa dungeon. Okay, that's all. I won't be taking any questions. Bye. What a crummy proclamation. My whole new food idea was based on hot, spilly foods. For real, I'd love to make some hot, spilly foods featuring carrots. Yeah, Celery would also go great in some hot, spilly foods. This really boils my shrimp. I mean, doesn't boil my shrimp. Huh? My idea for a new dish for dinner was that I was going to boil some shrimp and some spicy salty liquid. But now I'll never be able to do it because of the Mayor's ridiculous hot, spilly liquid ban. Did I hear some citizens grumbling about my ban? Mayor vegetable. That's me. Remember, you must never, ever break my hot, spilly liquids ban. If you do, dungeon, dungeon, dungeon. But why? I have my reasons. Bye bye. There he goes. You know what I think? That when the moon is up and Mayor vegetable has gone to sleep, we should break the rules and make some hot, spilly food. Exactly. That's a great idea. Let's wait for tonight. Okay, it's the dead of night and here we are, outside with a big pot over a fire. I'm going to throw the shrimp in. I'll throw in some of my family's famous carrots. And I'll toss in some of my Celery. Nice. Mmm. That's beginning to smell really wonderful. My hot, spilly food experiment is working. Shhh. We don't want to wake Mayor vegetable. Oh yeah. Sorry. Hey. Ah! I mean, ah! You surprised me. Random citizen of chicken nugget villa? I see that you're making some food that's hot and spilly. Please don't tell the Mayor. Oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Absolutely. Not do that. In fact, I think that smells delicious and would even be better if I added some chunks of corn. I'm Mr. Corn by the way. That's a great idea. Corn. And I, Madam Noodles will add some noodles. Oh, noodles. It's me, Senorita Spice. I'll mix in some spices. Shake a shake. Wow. Everyone who lives in chicken nugget villa is adding their own delicious ingredients to this hot, spilly food. It's beginning to smell like. I'm going to be afraid of it. Mayor vegetable. What did I say about hot, spilly food? Uh, that they're delicious? No. Does anyone listen to me? I said that anyone making them will be thrown right into the dungeon. But why? If we're going to the dungeon, at least we deserve to know why you have this no spilly food rule. No, I'll never tell you. Tell us. Okay, fine. It all happened a long time ago. Oh, little Mayor vegetable. It's me, your mommy vegetable. Hi, Mommy. Oh, Mommy made you some warm milk with cinnamon as a little treat before bed. Here you go. Ow, this mug is a bit hot. Whoops. It spilled. Weeeeeee. Little Mayor vegetable, you are literally crying over spilled milk. I sure am. And I'll never forget this. Weeeee. And I never did. And ever since then, I said to myself that I would ban hot, spilly food. Anyway, that's the story. Now it's off to the dungeon for all of you. Mayor vegetable, instead of a ban, did you ever consider learning to be careful with hot, spilly foods? No, I guess not. Then I think it's time. Here's a spoon, Mayor vegetable. Now very carefully put that spoon in the pot and pick up some of the liquid. I don't know. I'm scared. You can do it. We believe in you. Okay, I've got some liquid in my spoon. Time to taste it. Oh, I'm scared. Here I go. Chup. Hey, that was easy. The hot, spilly foods are hereby un-banned. Cheers! Oh, I must say, this is delicious. What are you going to call this new food, sir, chicken soup? I'm going to name it after my family and call it sir. Hmm, not the catchiest. Oh, okay. Um, how about soup? Now that's a name. Everyone, three cheers for soup. Soup, soup, soup. And I'd crave from now on this little villa will no longer be known as chicken nugget villa. Starting tomorrow on Wednesday, it will be known as vegetable carrot celery chicken soup. To celebrate, I'm going to eat this bagel right here. Ah! I told you, they scream. The end! We'll be right back after a few words for the go-naps. Welcome back to Story Love, where we talk about stories written by kids. But first of course, Peter, we have to read them. We do! In order to talk about them, we have to read them. We must! So let's read our first one. Okay! Do you want to... Please don't talk like that the whole time. Yeah! Okay. Would you read the first one for us? I would love to. Lee, this first story comes to us from an 11-year-old from Arizona named Tabitha. And Tabitha's story is called The Magic Jell-O Egg. Hmm. Once upon a time, there was a boy. His name was John John Jonathan, the 27th, and he loved Jell-O. He tried to make a Jell-O flavored cake, but he dropped an egg on the floor, but it didn't break. He wondered why it didn't break. The egg said that it was a magic egg, which startled John John Jonathan, the 27th. So he asked what the magic egg would do with its magic. And then the egg said that it could turn things into Jell-O and create Jell-O at will. Oh! So John John Jonathan, the 27th, used it to fill his bedroom with Jell-O. And then he made a yellow dog, who he named Jiggly. And he made it rain Jell-O all around them. And then Jiggly stole his egg and told him that he was taking the egg for granted. So he was going to turn John John Jonathan, the 27th, to Jell-O. Until John John Jonathan, the 27th, promised not to misuse the egg's power anymore. And also give you 12, no, make that 13 pieces of Swiss cheese every morning. The good expensive kind. The end! Really good story. The good expensive kind, would that we all could have the good expensive kind whenever we want? In my experience, the good expensive kind is usually the best kind. Oh, you think? Yeah. Not the expensive kind, but the good expensive kind. Especially when it comes to cheese. Oh, yeah. Do not skimp on your cheese. Cheese and chocolate go all in. Oh, is that a thing people say? No, that's the thing I say. Wow, I agree. All right, back to this story. Yes. You know, Jell-O obviously is the main theme here. Lots going on with Jell-O. And then the most exciting part of the story, I think, is the yellow Jell-O dog named Jiggly steals the egg and tells him that he's taking the egg for granted. That was a real twist. It was a real twist. I was very surprised to hear that. I also want to point out, like, filling your bedroom with Jell-O, do not try this at home. Yeah, no. How do you breathe if your room is truly full of Jell-O? Yeah, it's going to get cold and sticky. Yeah, it's not good. Don't do that. You're not going to be able to sleep. I mean, honestly, if you have a magic egg, there's better wishes. Okay, so speaking of that, if you had this magic egg that could turn anything into Jell-O and you're not taking it for granted, how are you going to use this Jell-O magic? What are you going to do with it? So what am I going to do with Jell-O magic? I think I'm going to go get a bouncy castle and I'm going to turn it into Jell-O so I can recreate Mickey and the Beanstalk with Goofy on the giant Jell-O. Okay, you know what, though? You're going to fall straight through that bouncy castle. People are going to get hurt. The first few bounces, you got to spread out your weight so you don't break the surface. When you break that surface, you're going into that Jell-O. If I had the Jell-O egg, the magic egg, what I would do is I would just serve people small, reasonable bowls of Jell-O. Just a little, you know what? If you were just right now like, hey Peter, surprise, I got you a little bowl of Jell-O. You're like, hey, what's your favorite flavor of Jell-O? Oh, the green one. Oh, exactly what I wanted. Small little bowl. It's a little paper bowl. You're going to throw it away when you're done. Can anyone eat Jell-O without making the most fun sound? I don't know. Do you want to read this together? Sure. Why don't you play the cow? I'd love to. Hi, I'm Simon, and this is my friend, Cow. Mrrr. We are going to be telling the story, and I am the author. So there was once two people who were- Mrrr. Let's just read the story so we can know them. Their names were Jill and Tookie Guy. They went underground. Mrrr. What? They went underground? How did they do that? Well, that's so fantastic. Anyway, back to the story. So the two people went underground and found two creepy little aliens. Luckily, those aliens were nice, and they let out bad aliens to attack Jill and Tookie Guy. Mrrr. How does this keep happening? Are those other people okay? I don't know. Let's keep reading the story. Okay. Oh no, said Jill. We should fight them with a turkey. Tookie Guy said, Bok, bok, bok. Mrrr. Are they serious? They fought a turkey? Let's just go back to the story. Jill and Tookie Guy went and fought with turkeys in turkey style, but the evil aliens won. So Jill and Tookie Guy got on the spaceship and flew into space while eating turkey on the way to the moon. The end. Mrrr. Wow. I wanted to say moon. The end. Amazing. Wow. What a story. The first thing I got to point out here is that the cow speaks two languages. The cow speaks cow and English. This is a smart cow. Because in the first two exchanges, the cow just says moo, and yet Simon is able to understand what the cow is saying. Oh, yes. And then it starts speaking English as well. Do you think it's like on a TV show where they're speaking a different language and they find some convoluted reason to switch to English halfway through? We're like just at the beginning. I love that scene. They're like, shall we practice our English? Absolutely. I also love my favorite thing about this story is I think we all know the joke. Knock, knock. Who's there? The interrupting cow. Moooo. That cow is in this story. In my mind, it's the same cow. It's the interrupting cow. I guess so. But to the credit of Simon, the author, it goes much further than that. Oh, it sure does. The cow is not just interrupting. The cow is derailing. The story is wonderful. Simon, fantastic job. One of my favorite titles of late as well. Jill and Tookie Guy fight aliens. Turkey style. Mokka. That's a chicken. That's a chicken sound? I don't know why I made that sound. Much better. Thank you. All right, Peter, would you like to read the last story? I would and I will. This last story comes to us from a 10-year-old from Massachusetts named Melanie. And Melanie's story is called The Adventures of Ogelflop Jr. The Third. Ogelflop Jr., the second, went to the everything store to get his groceries. When he was in the food section, he saw his best friend named Bob. They talked for a bit. Suddenly, the alarms went off. The penguins were attacking. They were attacking because they were imprisoned their whole lives in zoos and aquariums. So Ogelflop and Bob pull out their jet packs and laser tag gear and crash through the roof. They start playing laser tag with the penguins. That's how you solve every problem. And they won. Later that day, when Ogelflop was taking a walk, he saw a saw that could out-saw any saw he ever saw. At the beach, he bought some shells at Sally's shop of seashells. But Bob had to take a nap because when he plays laser tag, he goes really crazy and gets really tired. Me too, brother. Ogelflop went home to get ready for his date with Fredarella and gave her the seashells, which he made into a bracelet. Then he went down on one knee and proposed to Fredarella at the wedding. See picture. So they got married and lived happily ever after. The end! Can you tell us about the picture that it references about the wedding? Yes, I would love to. Here, they're in a beautiful archway. They're at a podium and behind the podium is the efficient or the priest or something with an Abraham Lincoln style stovepipe hat and a microphone. And Fredarella is in a beautiful white dress holding some flowers. And of course, Ogelflop Jr., the second, is there in a, what looks like a short-sleeved tuxedo with shorts. I think it's fair to say this is a dream wedding. It is. Wow, the happiest day of their lives. Incredible, incredible story. So many good, some great word play. Halfway through the story, we start doing some tongue twisters. He saw any saw he ever saw. He saw a saw that could out-saw any saw he ever saw. And saw the shop of sea cells. Uh-huh. What I loved is, you know, I thought that penguins was going to be like the big problem to solve for the whole story. Yeah. But it's just one in many things, one of many things that these... Once you know that laser tag can solve every problem, it actually gets very difficult to write a story. Yeah. Because conflicts are easily solved. And so you become a rom-com. Yeah, oh! Just like in this. That's it for Story Love. To read all of today's stories, just head to storypirots.com. And guess what? Grown-ups, you can find an even longer version of today's Story Love on YouTube. We drop a new video every week and here's something. Did you know that YouTube will show it to more people and help Story Pirates grow if we get more views right away? Weird, but true. So by watching these videos as soon as you can, you're not only hearing the hilarious stories from kids and seeing Peter and I's beautiful faces. But you're also helping each kid's story be celebrated by more people and contributing to our channel's growth. Which means we can create more videos and help fund our podcast. You can find the link to today's video in the show notes while you're there. Subscribe to our channel and make sure to watch the new videos each week. And Grown-ups, Story Love isn't just the name of a segment on our show. It's also the name of our incredible corporate volunteer program. To find out more about Story Love, our digital creative writing program Story Quest, or our non-profit armed Story Pirates change makers, check the show notes for links. That's it for today's episode. Thanks to today's authors, Gray and Josie. And guess what? You can still send us your stories and we respond to every single story we receive. Grown-ups, your link to submit stories is in the show notes for today's episode. We'll be back next week with another brand new episode. Until then, stay creative and stay kind. Bye! The Story Pirates podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios. Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. This episode was produced by Isabella Ricchio, Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Lee Overtree and Brittany Stahl. Recording, sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Additional production by Brett Tuvin. Theme song by Bobby Lord. Musical scoring by Eric Gerson and Jack Mitchell. Our head writer is Peter McNerney. Staff writers are Megan O'Neill and Alexis Simpson. Contributing writers are Lee Overtree and Louis Perlman. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin. This episode features performances by Eric Austin, Max Bank, Greg Barnett, Michelle Chan Bennett, Sasha Diamond, Jake Fallon, Tara Halpern, Quentin Johnson, Sebastian Martinez, Peter McNerney, Kento Morita, Megan O'Neill, Lee Overtree, Chris Simpson, Brittany Stahl, Rachel Winnitsky and Nimini Ware. Music plays. Alright, time to get in my car and head to work. I'll just put on my seatbelt, start the car and...car. Take me to work. Taking you to work. Okay, in car, please don't mess up and take me somewhere random this time, okay? Taking you to Belgium. Belgium? Car, I just told you to take me to work. Taking you to work in Russia. To work in Russia? I don't even know where that is. Going to where is that in France? Okay, car, I need you to slow down, take a breath and please just listen to me. Setting up jet mode. No, wait, don't set up jet mode. Ah, we're flying there. Ah, car, stop. Setting up faster mode. Faster mode? You're the worst self-driving car I've ever owned. Diving into the earth. Diving into the earth? What, do you have a drill on the front of you? Getting to work. Ugh, finally. Car, were you just messing with me? Going to messing with me in outer space. Ha ha ha ha. Music plays. Music plays.