My colleague STOLE my position… and now she’s struggling worse than I did! -r/coworkerstories | Reddit Stories | EP2673

Heyo, it's Riley here. And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime host. And we've got some great stories coming up. Before we get into these wild stories, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show going. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. My colleague stole my position, and now she's struggling worse than I did. Heavy weighs the crown of my position. I'm a teacher at a decently affluent public school. For the most part, I love my job. I've made genuine friends among staff members, and the students make the hard work worth it. There are, of course, the negative parts of teaching that you always hear about. Low pay, grading on, off hours, and so on. But for the most part, the deal has been good. By the way, this comes from Stone of Forest. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. And I'm Angie. And I'm Dakota. And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We just know what we would do in these situations. So let us know what you would do in the comments. So OP says, a few years back, I was recognized by my old boss as a potential leader in the building. He stressed to me that I was very data oriented and likable along my colleague. I know my way around Google Sheets and Excel when it comes to collecting and organizing student data, and I'm really solid with parent communication. I was hesitant at first, but eventually I agreed and became a leader for a group of teachers and students at the school in charge of organizing meetings and overseeing overall student educational success. The old boss who promoted me left, and I was stuck with a new boss I didn't know very well. Here's where things get messy. I have sensory processing disorder and mild hearing loss. It's hard to explain, but sometimes I genuinely do not hear things correctly. Think of, you said, I'm going to pick up Stacy, and I might hear something like, I'm just going to wait and see. I see that can make things difficult. I feel you on that. Yeah. This happens at least once a day and usually isn't a big deal. Unfortunately, it isn't curable, but I manage. In my meetings with my new boss, she would push strategies based around focusing on students whose state test scores were almost passing. The idea was to focus on all students, but give extra attention to these ones. These initiatives were never written down, and I would find out later that it was because the legality of such things was iffy at best. Oh, we don't want to be doing illegal things at a school here. How is that iffy? I don't know. That makes sense to me, where it's like you give extra emphasis to the kids who are almost passing so that you can make sure they pass. Yeah. I have no idea. Maybe something about their records and doing stuff with their records. Maybe there's some sort of legal limit to what you can do with their info. I think it might be legally you're not allowed to prioritize some students over others or something. Maybe. I don't know. No child left behind? Is that the whole thing? I think so. It didn't work. A lot of them got left. When these ideas were shared with me, I would constantly ask the boss after the meeting to repeat herself and then check my notes to make sure that I heard her correctly. I noticed at the time that she was passively frustrated when I did this, even though I explained that I had a hearing disorder. Looking back, I wonder if she felt pressured knowing what we were doing wasn't kosher and if I made a bad impression. Now, to introduce the main character of the story, who I'll call Tenny, since she's the coach of the tennis team. Tenny is well-liked by staff members for her years of service towards our community in a particular area. I also liked Tenny a lot and figured she'd be a great team member. Tenny, however, like my boss, became repeatedly frustrated when I would miss things she said to me, especially in crowded high school hallways. No, they're in high school. No seven-year-olds around. Sometimes she would even shout something to me as she walked past. This led to many gaps and mistakes. I asked her repeatedly to pause and make sure I got what she was saying or just to email me, but nothing changed. There were at least five or six big moments when my hearing wasn't accommodated, even though a simple email could have solved the problem. For example, my new boss came into the hallway to let us know that an assembly location was being changed. We were to take the students to a new area, not the old one. Of course, I heard a change, but didn't hear the location. Tenny was the only one nearby. I tapped my ear, which I usually do to indicate that I didn't hear something, and asked where we were going. Tenny quickly responded and walked away, and I, once again, didn't understand. Cue me and my students walking into the assembly five minutes late after wandering around the building in confusion. My new boss asked what happened, and I told her I didn't hear her correctly. Now, weeks later, I was called into a meeting with my new boss, and she told me that I was going to lose my leader position due to my inconsistency and, quote, disrespect towards colleagues. Huh? This almost sounds like it's an ADA lawsuit served up on a silver platter. Right? Like, this is just... There's definitely legal things that you can do about this, I'm sure. You have an incurable condition. Yeah. That is honestly such a minor inconvenience, and this one person has gone out of their way to be like, yeah, and they just, I don't know, they just don't hear what I say, and they just don't listen to me. They don't take me seriously. Right. This is not disrespect, this is just physical incapability. This is literally the sound waves being processed incorrectly by your brain. Right. So you don't hear the thing that people actually said. Right. I asked her which colleagues, and she told me that that was private. I asked how I was disrespectful, and she said, sometimes you get frustrated when you say you can't hear things and tap your ear. I said that that was the ASL sign for here, as in I can't hear you. She said I should have communicated that. I said I had asked for written communication constantly. She said I shouldn't always expect it. I knew it was a losing game, and any explanation I would provide would just be shot down. I loved the school and the community, and fighting my new boss was only going to lead to more problems. I shouldn't have been surprised when a school-wide email went out that Teni was getting the leader position. Teni was praised by colleagues in reply halls, and it was frustrating to say the least. I know she was the one who complained, and it was extremely bitter to see her rewarded for it. Hugh, the next school year. You're jumping ahead of in time. Yeah, now it's the reign of Teni. The reign of Teni. Wish meher reigns be supreme. Teni came into my room and asked me for the student data sheets I had created with Google Sheets. I told her truthfully that even if I shared them, there wasn't anything that she could do with them. I brought her over to my computer and showed her the formulas I worked with, and how I needed to adjust them every time a new student, section, or class was added to the roster. She then asked if I could continue updating these sheets outside of my leader position. Hey! That's a big old no! Have fun! Have fun! You wanted it, you got it! I told her, as professionally as possible, that I would love to teach her how to do all of these things, but would need a stipend to do so. She asked if any of the other leaders were doing what I did. I said they weren't. I was the only one and always had been. I'm a bit ashamed I didn't take joy in seeing Teni's face go cold when she realized I wouldn't fold, and there was nothing she could do except cope with hours of data work per year or become proficient with Sheets Slash XL, which I knew she wasn't going to do. The cherry on top, the parents. Parents are 99% of the time a joy to work with. I really mean that. It's fun to work with the parents of the students that I care the most about, but it's the 1% that make your life heck. I overheard Teni complaining about being on the phone with one such parent for 45 minutes, losing her entire grading time. A call like that would have taken me about five minutes tops since I have the experience of stopping circular arguments and getting the parent on my side. What should take Teni minutes often takes hours. Yes, she's getting my 1.5K stipend now, but I no longer have to deal with extra meetings, parent phone calls, or miscommunication. She's getting all the pain I got and more. I feel ashamed that I take joy in this, but Teni made my life heck in a place that I otherwise love. And we do have an update from three months and 27 days later. Three and 37, not four, not four months. Three months and 27 days. I bet Teni's just been thriving in her new position. Oh yeah, I bet she's on top of the world and playing tennis at the same time. Why don't you go play tennis about it? Teni. Teni. Why don't we take this to the tennis courts? Teni. My name is Spreadsheety, because I know all about them Spreadsheets. Why don't you stick to what you know, Teni? That's right. Three months later and 27 days. It's been a semester's worth of school, so I figured it was time for an update. To say that things have been going well for me has been an understatement. As several comments pointed out in my original post, the 1.5K stipend was not worth it. The mental load that came with the leadership position was enormous. I feel so much lighter now, and I've been able to use the time and energy to devote to my community projects. I feel like an overall better teacher and haven't taken work home once this semester. Wow, that's impressive. On the other hand, Teni has been miserable. She's always one of the last teachers to go home, even in her coaching off-season, and frequently cancels or forgets meetings. Unsurprisingly, Teni has not been considerate of my hearing accommodation, which is now registered with the district. I keep my own meeting notes and show them to a trusted colleague afterwards to see if I heard everything correctly. I usually get one or two things wrong. Recently, my boss had a staff-wide meeting where she pushed a shared meeting document in a calendar practice among all the teams. Teni was visibly frustrated, but this was literally what I had been doing as a leader before, and it seems to be standard work practice in general. A trusted colleague told me after I uploaded my original post that Teni and two other teachers were the ones who complained about my lack of preparation and inconsistencies to my boss. Since then, I have not spoken to those two teachers unless necessary, but keep very friendly and pretend I don't know that they threw me under the bus. One of these teachers I'll call Ben. Teni teaches the same middle school subject as I do, English, as does Ben. Anyone familiar with education knows that English is one of the heaviest tested subjects. Our school is very invested in state test scores, so we put a lot of work into maximizing them. We reap what we sow, and Teni will reap her just desserts. Yeah, if you weren't ready for the job, then why'd you try to get it so bad? You just leave it. Leave it with people who know what they're doing. Okay, Raul? That's what you get. It's karma. That's what you get. Karma. Maybe get better at your job, or give it to people who actually deserve it. Hmm. Boom. We do have a little bit more to this story, though. The TODR is that with extra time and energy, I focused on my exercises and practices to help my students score as high as possible. Our students' performance increased our grade's English scores by 20% overall from the previous year. That's a big percentage. Just from one year, 20%? They speak some good English over there. They do. They speak English quite proper. They speak English up, down, and sideways. Good for them. Good on them. My boss privately congratulated me and asked if I could share my strategies with Teni and Ben. I shared only the documents and nothing else. Teni and Ben have not approached me for guidance, and I like it that way. My favorite part, due to the lack of funds, the leadership position is being eliminated next school year, and the teams are being dissolved. Teni went through all that drama for just one year in the position. I am focusing on my own growth and the 95% of colleagues who enjoy my company. My students are happier, and I'm happier. The lesson for anyone with a disability is to get accommodations in writing with your district so you don't go through what I went through. And that is a good moral to that story. For everyone listening who is a teacher. Get your disabilities documented in writing with your employer. Yep. Good friggin' idea. And that's the end of this story. We're going on to the next one. I refused to attend the Christmas party because they want us trainees to perform. I don't want to do a little dance. It's Christmas. And there's a note here for the abbreviation JAV. It stands for Jugendund Ausbildendenvertentang. What? And that is basically a council for company trainees. Jugendund Ausbildendenvertentang. Yes. Yeah. All right. My concern is rather strange. And I know there are really worse things to be upset about, but we trainees from our company have the following problem. We received invitations to the internal Christmas party. If it's supposed to take place on a Saturday, it's on a day off, so there's no problem at all. End of story. By the way, this comes from user MelodicRedditor. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Dakota. I'm Angie. And we're here to give you a little bit of good advice, Goofley. Yeah. With Ausbildendenvertentang. But we don't even know what that is. We don't know a lot of stuff. We only know some things. So let us know what you know that we don't know in the comments. Right? End Opie says. At this point, I was looking forward to a relaxed Christmas party. We received invitations on October 26th, and we were supposed to submit confirmation by November 10th with the celebration planned for sometime in the middle or end of December. No sooner said than done, and we trainees agreed. On November 29th, we received an email from our JAV, which started with, as you all know, which we knew nothing. Apparently, there is a tradition that we trainees have to read some poems, songs, or similar performances. We were asked to submit suggestions by December 8th, so that something could be planned. I think it's great that this request naturally comes right after we've accepted the invitation, so that you feel bad about turning it down afterward. I am completely uncomfortable with performing something like that in front of the staff. Nobody except a few older women would really think what we were doing was nice. Everyone else in our office is on the younger side, mid-20s to mid-30s, and would most likely laugh and think, wow, thank God I'm not a trainee anymore. FYI, I am now in my third year of teaching, and before, there was no such tradition because of the rona. That's why we all knew nothing. I asked all the trainees, and no one wants to do something like that. Yeah, that's the point. A few trainees even said that they wouldn't come because we all find it unpleasant and ridiculous. I went to our JAV with someone else and asked if we were required to participate. He said that he couldn't force us to do anything, and that the request came from the boss's secretary who wanted something like that. We asked a few older colleagues who said, well, it's a tradition, and you have to do it. You have to jump over your own shadow. Not coming because of that is a shame, and shows no initiative. Besides, you have to do it later. It's also important to say and present something in front of others, which is true. I think there's a difference, but other than that, it is not much help. I'm starting to find it sad that companies find it funny to want to expose their trainees. Really, who wouldn't feel uncomfortable performing alone or hope that it would be over quickly? I'd keep them long. You would, I'd keep them lingering. It's just like, you wouldn't let them take any bathroom breaks or get more snack. Who doesn't find it funny that the trainees are being put in a position where everyone else has entertained their expense? It's all for their amusement. I am seriously considering whether we would be a-holes if we just didn't come. And there are some comments. I'm just imagining like a very like, sort of stuffy German person. Just being like, I do not believe. That we are being made into amusements for them. Yeah. Our company wants us to just be clowns for the others. Must dance. Dance for the higher ups. There is the self-respect I have cultured for myself all this time. Boring! That's how I feel about you, OP. Boring! Oh my God! Freaking get it together, OP! It's fine! I know some people get stage fright. Whatever! Boring! I think this all is coming from just stage fright. It just is! That's all it is just it. Like, because he... They have just created something fun, all right? This is a fun tradition. And when you stop doing it, people stop having fun. So because of you, no one's gonna have fun anymore in the whole wide world. And it's gonna be all your faults. Honestly, in terms of like the like, politics of like a workplace, like if you don't do it, you'll be way worse off. And if you just did it even poorly. Because honestly, like it's... Yeah, they're gonna laugh at you. Of course they are. You're gonna look stupid up there. Well, if you do it right, you might make them cry. You... Because it'll be so good. Exactly. Might make them laugh. Might be... You have the perfect opportunity to be in on the joke and to have that power, dude. Like, you gotta go with it. Because now, now you're just ruining a fun tradition. All it is is just bonding. They wanna bring everyone together for a little fun in games and this is a perfect excuse to make people be the center of attention for those fun in games. Sometimes people don't wanna take that initiative and make themselves the center of attention. That's my... That's... I need to get that out. At the end of the day, OP, you can do it. You can do it. Probably better than you would even give yourself credit for. Yeah. We have some comments here from Griffin0. Info. Are you training for something like an animator, press office or other jobs where you might have to perform Christmas carols in public? If not, it's not part of your training and therefore not necessary to do something like that. But at most, a tradition in the company. And of course, those can be broken if you don't like them. Just tell your bosses very clearly that you don't see any educational value in something like that and therefore won't do it. Whack. By the way, that's what the trainee representatives and work councils are for. As an NDA, maybe even KAH, depending on how the boss reacts, OP replies, nope. What we're doing is a far cry from that. We sit in the office and only have phone contact with customers unless you're in sales and working in the field. It's a typical office environment, you know? We're still debating whether to actually go to the secretary with it or just not submit anything and just stay at the party. Oh my God, so what you're telling me is that your job is freaking boring and the one chance you get for it to not be boring, you're gonna be boring and you're gonna leave? Oh my God. I can't with you, OP. You're just a little stick in the mud, aren't you? Get it, people get stage fright, but just do it. Yeah. Comment says, BDA. If you don't want to recite a poem, just say no. Nobody can force you, but making such a big deal out of a poem also shows that you're not even remotely mature enough to laugh at yourself. And you come across like you have a stick up your butt. Yeah. OP replies. Maybe I do have got a stick up my butt. But I'd rather be like Zat than make a fool of myself in front of colleagues. Oh! You're not making, you're honestly making more of a fool out of yourself right now. You are, you're such a fool. You're fool. They don't treat us trainees so great anyway all the time. I only brought this up via Reddit and privately with the trainees. We're not planning an attack on this secretary and the JAV with Rage Torches. I'll just cancel beforehand for personal reasons. They don't need to know why. The others probably the same. They're gonna know why. I have a feeling they'll know why. They're definitely gonna know why. Besides, I can laugh at myself, but not in front of 50 plus people I work with so I can listen to their JABS. I'd rather avoid that. Commenter says, again, an old tradition stops because someone doesn't feel like it anymore. Clench your butt cheeks and face the task. That's right. Cycling 16 kilometers one way to the apprenticeship in all weathers, cleaning the workshop every third Saturday, buying breakfast for the journeyman. All that was unpleasant, but it made me the guy I am now and I would do it again. In kindergarten, the parents complain about the end of your children's party, but don't participate in the preparations. 15 years after my last child had left kindergarten, I was still standing at the grill, at the summer festival and helping with the work. At some point, the educators had scrapped the tradition due to lack of participation. Beekeepers Association and Summer Festival Ditto. School Festival Ditto. So basically this guy's being like, you keep your traditions alive. Yeah. I better see you out there. Yeah. Honestly, I agree with them though, because that's exactly what happens with all these fun things. People just kind of expect someone else to do it or they just get nervous at being the center of attention like OP is and then they don't want to participate and then no one ends up doing it and then the fun is gone. So when it comes to fun traditions like this, come on. OP replies, well, you're comparing something like that to a school festival slash children's party. Nobody here is a child. They have a single 17 year old in their first year of apprenticeship. The rest are young adults who don't seize a point in something like that. But the 17 year old doesn't either. Who thought they would leave something like that behind with school? If the info had come with a warning, it wouldn't have been a problem. A few people would have adjusted. Then fricking adjust. I feel like it still would have been a problem, dude, what do you mean? Yeah. I mean, like if you had like two weeks to like psych yourself up like over a poem. Yeah, yeah. Like come on, two weeks before the party and after everything was booked, something like that is completely annoying and takes away the joy of a relaxed Christmas party. Oh my God, I freaking hate this guy. I agreed in the first place because of this pretense. If we had known that from the start, I could have just canceled without bothering anyone. The apprentices who still want to go would have come up with something. Now everyone's being difficult. You most of all, OP. Yeah. Another commenter says, I was told that as a car mechanic too, but it's just to screw over the apprentices. But I only found that out after I took the microphone from the boss and recited the poem. The biggest embarrassment of my life, but it did get some laughs. OP says, oof, my condolences. Hope you could laugh about it afterwards. I know I couldn't handle that. It would burn me up inside. OP adds a little more context on the tradition. Apparently it was a tradition in previous years, but it hasn't been done for four years and has skipped other trainees. I also think that just because the predecessors did it, we don't have to do it too. It must have been unpleasant back then too. Such traditions just amaze me. I think they're really unnecessary and just not funny. I have a feeling you don't think much is funny. None of the trainees here think that this is a good idea and there's an edit. Thanks for all the answers. Briefly again, we definitely don't wanna stop showing up just like that. If so, we will either individually or together, prepare an email to mention that we will not be showing up. Otherwise the plan is that we go there, don't let it ruin our evening and don't do anything stupid. We won't submit anything or plan anything anyway. We'll just plan how we can get through the day as relaxed as possible. And we have an update from two weeks later. Do we think he's gonna do it? Here's what I think happened. I think they went and then they were like, do a thing. And he was like, nine. Okay. Nine, I've got a lot. And everyone was like, oh. All right, dude. Okay. Geez. And now you've got weird vibes. I honestly hope that's the case. Two weeks later, the Christmas party has now taken place and I was actually there. The other trainees were also there that day except two, but they were not there due to illness. None of us had handed in anything, but beforehand we were constantly asked by all our colleagues whether we had anything planned for the Christmas party. After the statement that nothing was planned, many seemed disappointed and annoyed because of the tradition. I was fine. After asking if they would like to demonstrate something, the answer was of course always a strong no. I'm sure there's plenty of people out here who agree with this guy. I'm 100% sure. But you're all boring. Hate to break it to you. The day of the celebration, I actually showed up a little later for personal reasons. It started at 6 p.m. The buffet was at 7 30. I was there around 7 15. Of course, I didn't leave immediately afterwards, but stayed there until shortly before the end. According to the other trainees, no one was asked to present anything beforehand. The celebration itself was very nice and I got to know a lot of other colleagues that I hadn't seen before. And a funny thing, by the way, the secretary wasn't there due to illness so we all skilfully refused. It's not yet clear whether this tradition can be refused next year, but that's no longer my problem. I'll probably be out of it and probably won't be there anymore either. What do you mean? So you're already in your head. You're like, I'm not even gonna be at this job for that long. So it's like, what does it even matter? God. Oh, come on. You're just no fun. No fun. If something drives me to stay there, then of course I'll sit down for the trainees. And that's the end of that story. So not only would you not do it, if they did it again next year, you wouldn't care and would watch the trainees do it. Yeah. That's just cowardice. It's like, you really look inside yourself into your psyche about why you would watch the trainees do it. Like you would watch them do it because it's entertaining. And are you really judging them for being, for entertaining you? Like really? It's just a fun moment. God. This guy. And that's the end of this story. We're going on to the next one. My supervisor denied me working remotely while everyone else can. That doesn't seem very fair. I 30 female have been working at a tech company for four years. I was lucky to get this job. And I truly like everyone I work with. My boss, my co-workers, everyone. It is a small company of about 30 people, including myself. Over the past two years, I've noticed something that has slowly bothered me more and more and that is our department's policy on working remotely and hours in the office. By the way, this comes from Massey316. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. And I'm Angie. I'm Dakota. And we're here to give good advice, goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We just know what we would do in these situations. So let us know what you do in the comments. So, OP says, before you assume I'm just complaining and whining, let me explain. My job can be done 100,000% remotely because all I do is type on my computer all day. That is my job. That is also what the other three people in my department do. I do not have to talk to any clients or really anyone ever, except for one weekly meeting that lasts about five minutes. And I don't even have to say anything in that meeting. I just have to hear updates. That meeting could absolutely be just an email to everyone. Two years ago, our team started having one remote work day per week that was assigned to us. Our supervisor was very clear and strict with this policy. Each of us got a different day. My remote day was Tuesday. At the same time, we also got designated days that we individually had to stay until 5 p.m. in the office. And I do not mean 4, 45 p.m. I mean 5 p.m. We kept asking about remote work because the entire rest of the company, literally all other departments, was clearly working remotely 90% of the week. That did not seem fair to our department to not have the same treatment, especially when our job can be done 100% remotely unlike theirs. They would come in for our meeting sometimes and then leave by 2 p.m. and work remotely for the rest of the week. Sometimes they would come in on Wednesday at 11 a.m. and leave at 3 p.m. and work remotely until the rest of the day. My point is they had major flexibility to be in the office or at home as long as they got their work done. But for my three coworkers and me, we are not allowed to leave the property to go get lunch. What? We have to stay until 5 p.m. every single day except on our remote day. They don't let you leave to eat? That's wild. You gotta pack beforehand? What if you didn't? Oh, I guess if you, yeah, you can pack a lunch. You can, but like, what if you forgot or didn't have time in the morning? No food for you today. We only get one remote day and we are not allowed to ask for more. We are not allowed to ask to change our remote day even if it benefits us. For example, I had to come into office on Monday, December 23rd because it was not my remote day. I explained that my remote day fell on Christmas which we already get off anyway. So I would not have been getting a remote day that week. I asked if I could change it to Monday and my supervisor said no without giving a reason. There was a hurricane in our town and my two coworkers and I still had to come into the office because the hurricane day, quote, was not on any of our remote days. Meanwhile, everyone else in the office that day was remote. There's a hurricane going around, around your town and you're like, well, we still gotta go to work. Can't work from home. And it's just you two, not- This like group of four. It's just you guys. Yeah. That's weird. That's very weird. Why is everyone else getting special treatment? I did not think we needed permission to avoid driving in a hurricane with all the emergency alerts we received. That day we went into the office with no work to do and just sat there until five PM. I asked my supervisor repeatedly, where is everyone else and why are they not here? It's a work day. And he just called me separately and said, do not compare yourself to others. I knew everyone else was remote. I mean low key though, that's a good bar. That's a good line. Sure. The comparison is the thief of joy. Sure. But where is everybody? But like, good question. It's a great question. I'd like to know. What I was trying to get him to admit is that our department is treated differently for no reason. My coworker asked to work remotely on a random Friday, a month in advance because she was going to spread her stepmom's ashes and still get all her work done by five PM. Our supervisor said no and did not give a reason. Every time we ask our supervisor why our department is treated like this or why we cannot work remotely whenever we want, he beats around the bush and does not answer our questions. He gives made up excuses like, oh, it's in case our server breaks and you need to be here to fix it. There is an IT person whose job it is to fix the server if it breaks. And she also works remotely. Oh my god, that's actually so insane. So you've got the one person who you could say needs to be there so that they can fix stuff. Working remotely. Yes. They're saying that OP needs to be there just in case something breaks when that's someone else's job entirely and they are working remotely. What is going on at this company? This is like nightmare. Wake up, wake up, wake up. It's not real, it's a dream. Just let me go home. Let me go home. And work. Is there anyone above the supervisor that we can talk to? Because I don't like her or him. I don't like him. Or he says, do not compare yourself to the rest of the company. I do not know what their contracts say. This is what the CEO wanted for your department. Just do what you are told and do not talk about it with anyone else. The amount of days I have sat in the office doing nothing, watching movies, or working on freelance work adds up to months. Now you might be thinking, so you got paid to sit in your office and watch a movie? Why complain? You hit the nail on the head. I was thinking that as well. That is actually pretty interesting. You're right. It could be worse. I and I am grateful for my job. But this policy has been going on for two years and I have run it by friends who own businesses and they all agree that it is weird and unfair. That's a really weird way to say, yeah, but I could be watching movies in my living room. Yeah, yeah. No, I would agree. But honestly, I kind of get what he's saying though. Like, if you're just watching movies all day, I don't need to be watching these movies. What I need to be doing is laundry. Can't do that here. I need to do laundry and cook for these people. If I don't know if O.P.'s got a family or something, but maybe the other ones do. In this department, there's things you could be doing at home. Maybe watching movies is one of them. Maybe send an email to your CEO. Yeah, you got plenty of time to do that. Give it a shot. Hunt him down. Yeah, or her. I have at least 25 videos on my phone showing me walking around the office on Thursday at noon as the only person there. I'm not talking about Fridays at 4 p.m. I'm talking about Tuesdays at 10 a.m. or Thursdays at noon. I see and hear other people in the company asking group chats, is anyone going to be in the office tomorrow? So it is clear that no one knows about our policy except our department. And we are supposed to keep it a secret. A coworker not in my department frequently says to me, oh, you're still here around 3 p.m. And I respond, yeah, I'm always here because we have to be here until 5 p.m. And nobody knows why. Some employees work remotely as much as they want. And I have been here longer than them. I have been here four years and I am not a newbie. It is not a talking down to a woman type of thing either because there are two men on my team and they are treated the same way. Earlier this year, two of my coworkers quit because they were sick and tired of this policy and not getting any answers. And they got new jobs. They have been replaced. I am still here. I get the feeling that my supervisor might be the problem. So I went above his head and talked to the president thinking that that would help. Yeah. Let's figure it out. Let's figure it out. Get on the president hotline. Yeah. He was very nice about it. And I opened up about all of this and gave him all of these reasons. I told him this was a huge reason why my two coworkers quit this year to make him realize that this is a big problem and we are not happy. He said it was because the office was expensive and underused so we needed butts in chairs. I should have told him great. Then tell everyone in this company tomorrow that they have to be in the office four days a week and stay until five just like my department is doing. No, don't do that. Now you're the evil one. Yeah. Whatever policy you want to make, make it the same for everyone. Yeah. That's one way to go with it is just make it suck for everyone now. It's just the dumbest thing. It's like, well, we need to have at least four butts in chairs to justify this expensive office. Right. Maybe you don't need the expensive office. Yeah. Maybe we save so much money and then I get a pay raise for telling you about this overhead issue. Yeah. There's more to this story though. He said he would try to fix the management and communication around it. That was five months ago and nothing has changed. No. I do not know what else to do. I started applying for a new job a year ago and it has been a big struggle to find one. But I'm still trying. I do not understand this stupid policy. If it were company-wide, I would not raise my eyebrows as much, but it is not a company-wide thing. It is just my department of four people. Every time I ask questions about it, I just get a fake answer, blame someone else, or my supervisor beats around the bush. It is 2025. Most jobs can be done remotely and mine can. This is not even about my actual work. It's about flexibility. To me, that is not something that you have to earn. And even if it is, I have been here for four years, so I feel like I have earned it. I would like everyone's opinion on it, please. And there are some comments here. Comment number one says, this is frustrating. I used to work in an office with a very similar dynamic. What's the role of the people who are not in the office and your role? OP says they are in sales or marketing or social media content. I'm a video editor for our main production product. Someone responds, okay, that makes sense. Salespeople usually aren't in the office. I don't know anything about video editing, though. In our example, it was several employees who processed orders who my ex-boss forced to be in the office. There was zero reason for them to be in the office. Job responsibilities just didn't need it. He shared with me privately, my ex-boss. He was just trying to manage them out. I'm sorry, OP, that you're going through this inconvenient mess. Definitely speak up for yourself and document everything internally. Good luck, and that's the end of that story. Dang. Gotta manage someone out of your workplace? Yeah, you're getting out-managed. Dang. What's that? Me. I hope you find the strength to carry on watching movies while you're at work. But also, good luck finding a new job. Some people don't wanna work in a situation like that. Some people really wanna, you know, I mean, OP says they just want the flexibility, but some people also just want work to do. True. And that's the end of this story. We're going on to the next one. Hey, it's Smiley Riley here from OK Storytime. We're gonna get back to these stories, but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors. Trends come and go. Your skin barrier doesn't. E45 lotion is effective, science-backed hydration for everyday use. Lightweight, fast absorbing, and trusted to do what your skin needs. No fuss, no compromise. Just soft, smooth, healthy-looking skin every day. Grab your E45 lotion now. My boyfriend thinks DND is more important than me. Now I can't stop crying. Babe, the campaign's like 10 hours long. My boyfriend, 20 male and I, 20 female, had been arguing a bit because I felt like he was never spending quality time with me. He plays Dungeons & Dragons during the weekend, and it eats up all of his weekends. By the way, this comes from Sub to PewDiePie, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime sub, but at time, Sophia. I'm Carly. And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do, so let us know what you would do in the comments. I asked if he could compromise, and maybe only play once a week or every other week. That he said, Dungeons & Dragons is more important than you. Oh, he flat-out said it. Yeah, it was just outright. I thought maybe you just felt that way, and he told you. He made it clear. He was unwilling to compromise on anything and feels that I am being too demanding and that he never gets alone time. If I was lucky, I got to spend a few hours a week with him between classes, but I wanted to do fun, romantic things like going out and just being there for each other. He was always willing to do these things for the boys, and I just felt left out and excluded after he never made plans or went out of his way for me, like he does for them. He goes camping, swimming, tubing, and plays games with them all of the time, but has never done those things with me. He also just seemed off the last few weeks because he is depressed, but he never talks out his problems with me. He just shuts me out. We also had plans to do something, but last minute, something came up, and he did not make an effort to do anything else. Instead, he just hung out with his friend and some random girl the next day and ignored me. There were concerts the next day and a bunch of fun things I really wanted to do with him, but I'm just not important at all. People kept asking me where he was, and honestly, I did not know. I'm just so embarrassed, ashamed, and shocked. I decided to go home early because seeing all the couples happy and spending time together hurt so much since he's not willing to do the same with me. I just feel so stupid and I blame myself. I'm shocked and hurt beyond belief, and I do not know what to do anymore. I'm so hurt that someone would say this to me, let alone someone who claims to love me. We had dated prior to this, but needed time to fix everything, and we decided to try again after time apart. I feel so stupid that I got played twice. We have a class together, and this all happened earlier today, and I still have not heard an apology or any remorse for saying that. I guess I know how he really feels. I am sorry that I'm rambling, but I am just so hurt and so lost right now. I feel so lost and cannot stop crying. I feel so stupid. I have never loved anyone as much as I love him, but I cannot keep being someone's second choice, and it hurts so much. I do not know what anyone can say that will ever make me feel better, but I just need people to talk to because I feel so alone and hurt. I am also so sorry if this all seems stupid and dramatic. Please just be here for me and help me. I know I'm stupid, just be kind, please. I really am sorry if nothing makes sense. And there are relevant comments. You need to stop it. Stop it. Stop putting yourself down. It's not your fault. It is this man's fault. I have been in a similar situation, and it's not your fault. Relevant comments. Putonium Whiskey says, I went through something similar in college except it was Magic the Gathering, not D&D. It didn't work out for multiple reasons, Magic the Gathering being one of them. You deserve someone who will put you before a game. Like you said, don't be someone's second choice. Alpharsila says, Friday night, magic. Friday. The musing musing says, oh man, I dated a man who was obsessed with Magic the Gathering. He had a lot of emotional problems, and I'd insisted he get help if we were going to continue dating. This guy made up a therapist, well, sort of, and told me he was going to therapy every day when he was really going to this place where people buy and trade magic cards and participate in tournaments. I ended up calling his therapist to ask about her office on Kemper Street. Since the therapist was real, she just happened to work in a nearby town an hour away from where he said she was practicing. I called because he was starting to contradict himself with his stories about her, and it just didn't add up. I told her my partner was one of her clients, and I wanted to know if she could recommend another therapist who does similar work to avoid a conflict of interest. He told me the last time she had a practice near there was in the 80s, and that it wasn't on Kemper Street, and that she only worked with adolescents, so there was no way my partner was a client of hers. Dang, he really picked the one therapist who just couldn't possibly be working with him. That's the weirdest thing too, to just lie about where the therapist's office is. You couldn't have found therapists in your area? Well, and also if he had just been like, oh yeah, she's an hour away. More time to do your little magic, the gathering stuff. Literally. It makes no sense to have lied about that part. When I confronted him, he tried to lie, and told me I got the name wrong, and that he never said Kemper Street, all kinds of mess before fessing up. It was his old shrink from when he was a teenager, apparently. And after trying to convince me that she made special trips every day to see him for free, because she adored him, he finally admitted to what he'd been doing. That was a comment, not from the story. Interstellar Phoenix says, if he isn't going to try in your relationship, you're kind of doomed to fail. I'm sorry to say, but that is not how you should be treated by someone who is supposed to love you. Bottom line, if he can't give you the love and care you're supposed to give in a relationship, then he's only going to hurt you more. It will be okay. There are better guys out there, those who will give you all the love you could want. And there is an update, but that's, it's true, OP. Yeah. I promise you will find someone who actually wants to hang out with you. Yeah. That's like any normal relationship, they should want to hang out with you. It's crazy. And then you're going to be in that relationship and you're going to be like, wow. Like, oh my God. This is, you, your Saturday's free for me. You want to be here? That's, you enjoy your time? Not to get too personal, but that's me with my phone. I'm like, you want to hang out with me? You actually like see me? That's crazy. And it's great OP and you'll have that too. Yeah. Three days later. I don't know if it's update worthy, but it did get a lot of attention. I'm so thankful I made a post about it and got the honest answers from you guys. I did have a week moment, but he's not my boyfriend anymore. Yeah. Good for you. To me, this all seemed like a stupid thing to break up over someone, but it is what it is. He chose the game. You guys are right. The more chances I'd give someone the more they'd hurt me and disrespect me. Nonetheless, my feelings are very complicated right now. And I switched between missing him and just thinking F you. He was lucky that I gave him a second chance in the first place. He made it seem like I was just making stupid arguments towards him, but these arguments weren't stupid or petty to me. They were very important to me. The arguments, which happened like twice, was me expressing my frustration about needing quality time and how I felt excluded. Right now, although I know it's a lie, I just feel like I won't find someone else. It is a lie. I can assure you it's a lie. Everyone feels that way after a breakup. That's why most people don't break up or like wait a long time to break up, even though they know they should. So good for you. Luckily, I have so much support from my friends and sorority and decided to see a therapist so I can organize my feelings. Almost all people in the last thread said I deserve so much more than out of a relationship and people who I've told in real life. Thank you for that. Relationships are all about compromising and making the other person feel loved. Yes, I feel a very wide variety of feelings at the moment, but just thank you guys. I hope I find my right person soon who sees that I have more value. If there is any other suggestions, questions, or advice you guys have, I'd love to hear it. Sometimes I'm okay. Sometimes I'm not and cry randomly. Final comments. Deleted says, it was disappointing to me how many people were making jokes and acting like D&D is actually more important than setting aside some time for your relationship. Your campaign will end eventually, but you should wanna be with your partner for life. I think D&D is amazing, but if my girlfriend told me she felt neglected or like she was less important than it, I would try to fix that immediately. It seemed simply like you wanted the relationship to work and last while he wasn't so inclined. I hope you find someone who can listen to your feelings and take them seriously. Everyone deserves that. E. Perk says, my husband and I have a group of friends that we play D&D with together and it's awesome. My only hope is OP doesn't have a dislike toward D&D for this because it can be a lot of fun. If everyone is on the same page with the schedule, we're in the process of rebuilding a deck and the guys we play with actually offer to help us with the deck instead of playing that day. We declined as we needed the break to explore a dungeon and alive some cultists. Amazing friendships can be made over that game. OP, good for you. There is no reason for you to be second to a game and there is no reason for your now-export friend to not schedule time for you. That just shows where his priorities are and unfortunately, you are not one of them. Proud of you for having the strength to recognize that and walk away. OP says, thank you, D&D isn't my favorite game but I don't hate it either. I'd be willing to give it a shot but I certainly wouldn't let it destroy relationships. Ha ha. And that's at the end of the day, the issue here because he didn't even seem to want to include you at all. Yeah, yeah, unfortunate. You're better off OP but that is the end of that story and we've got another one coming right up. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here and we're gonna get back to the stories but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. She needs some money. She's got a great idea. She's in the car park, runs up to the van, gold! Score some easy money by selling your unwanted gold to Gold Arthur. Gold Arthur will buy your gold at the right price. Look out for the Gold Arthur van near you. Book your free valuation at goldArthur.co.uk. Gold! My boyfriend ghosted me when I got sick after I gave him everything. Well, that's your ex-boyfriend now. And this comes directly from our subreddit. Oh boy. I, female 32, my boyfriend is male 30. I am in a really dumb situation and I'm wondering where to go from here. I think I've pretty much checked out of the relationship at this point anyway. I am more looking for advice on the moral high ground. I want to exit this relationship with my head held high. Also, I will be calling him boyfriend for simplicity but I don't even know if that's accurate at this point. By the way, this comes from Far Promise 2417 and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit where this story was sent. I'm Carly. I'm Sophia. And we're here to give good advice goofily but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we would do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. So basically a week and a half ago, I got really sick. I was very weak, fever and chills and was just in a bad state. I had told my boyfriend that in text and said that I'm just going to try to get through the night routine so I can lay down. Now my boyfriend had just left that morning after spending the weekend with me and had one last exam that day before he was done. So at this point he was fully free. I was hoping he would offer to come back and give me a hand but I gotta hope you feel better soon text and that was it. He lives just over an hour away so I get it. It was getting late and I would have said not to bother but I was a little hurt he didn't even offer. The next day more of the same. I had to call out of work which I never do. I am needed at my job and honestly I need the money. I am a single mom and with the holidays things are always a little tighter. Kids tastes get more expensive every year. It had also been a really rough 10 weeks. Starting with a kitchen renovation that was stalled halfway through due to the health issues of my contractor. Then I hit a deer and completely messed up the front end of my vehicle. Oh were you also on your way to Chilton? My boyfriend used to be an apprentice mechanic and said it was totaled. The mechanic I took it to said that it was fixable. Yeah of course that's what I'm saying. This apprentice mechanic guy used to be an apprentice mechanic. He just kind of walks around he's like yeah it's gone. There's like a scratch on it. And I got it back two and a half weeks later but that was super stressful. Thankfully I live within biking distance from my work. Then my youngest daughter who battled leukemia twice in her short life and kicked its booty both times got diagnosed with a learning disability. I knew it was coming. The methodrexate they had her on initially caused her brain to swell and she went temporarily blind. As she aged we knew that she wasn't exactly retaining things like other kids. The signs were there which is why I got her tested by a neuropsychologist but it doesn't hurt any less to know that your child will struggle throughout their life. Then my dryer decided after 15 years that it was giving up the will to live. I'm still limping through using it though because it kind of works. It's the heat gauge that's broken. I spent a night taking it apart and cleaning the whole thing inside and out hoping the motor was just dirty but alas no luck. I just have to turn it back on every five to 10 minutes so we're trucking on it for now until I can see if getting it fixed is worth it or just buying a new one for $700. Then vehicle the sequel, the front brakes on my van went because of course they did. No. I had to take it to a new mechanic as the one I usually use has now shut down due to family stuff. The new guys initially quoted me $1,100. They ended up only replacing the calipers when I said I couldn't afford their initial estimate which was only $380 and said I would need to come back for the rest within a month or two. And then I got hit with another financial blow. No. There was a mess up with my taxes and long story short I owe my ex some money. He's being really good about it allowing me to repay it over time but it still could not have come at a worse time. So yeah, stress. Anyways, my boyfriend had gone back to school. I was super proud of him because he hated his job and definitely needed to make a change. He has been doing super well but I am sure it is also very stressful. It is in a highly competitive field and only about 20% make it through the four year course. He has been around and aware of all of the BS that has been happening in my life as well but I try not to put anything on him especially around exam time. I have also been supporting him financially on top of paying for all of our dates, outings and dinners since we have been together. I also pay for his car and anything else he needs like new glasses a few months back. Extra cash here and there for whatever else he needs, bills, et cetera. We also talked about me getting him a new winter work stuff for his co-op placement coming up, new coat, boots, gloves, overalls, et cetera. I do this stuff because I want to support him in any way that I can and help ease his stress. I make decent money and up until recently this was not an issue. And I mean, he's a broke college student. His mom and sister both live with him and help support him as well but I am fully aware that money is finite for him right now so I don't ever expect anything in that way. However, what I do expect is effort of any kind. We have been together for over a year and he has planned all of two dates. He says he's- He's planned two dates in the course of a year? In the course of a little over a year. No. He says he's just not a planner. Shut up. Shot literally shut up. And to be sure, I am definitely more of the planner but I mean, I've seen him do it. He's capable. And he says, but it's the money. I told him I've never been opposed to paying. If he plans it, I will pay for it. Within reason, obviously. And he did that once. Then there are the little things. He got me a one-ring necklace for my birthday. I'm a big Lord of the Rings nerd but didn't even try and wrap it or put it in a bag or anything. He just handed it to me and the clear plastic bag came in and said, here you go. After that, I brought up that I feel unappreciated when he doesn't put in basic effort for me. Especially when I always go above and beyond. For example, for his birthday last year, I wrapped his gifts with handmade bows and tacks, planned a weekend getaway and spent the weekend making him feel special. I knew he wouldn't be able to afford anything extravagant for mine but he knows I like simple things. Hiking, fishing, camping, a picnic, anything. Anything. I just got a, so what do you want to do? When I was sad at his lack of effort, he said that I didn't want to do anything on my birthday. When he asked what I wanted to do that day, I realized he didn't plan anything and just made the decision to stay in and watch movies. I was in no mood to plan my own birthday. He then brought up how we spent the last few dollars he had paying for a pizza for us for dinner, which of course made me feel terrible. I understand he's in school, he's busy, but so am I. I work 40 to 60 hours a week depending on the week and I am a full time single mom. I have one day every two weeks that is completely free and I always spend it with him. I plan things because I want to actually do things on those few days I have free. That brings us to a week and a half ago. I got sick. Said I was struggling and hoped he would offer to come back. He didn't, but it was later and that's fine. Next day the same. I called out of work because I was so sick and again got the old feel better soon. We both knew he was done with exams and had absolutely nothing better to do. And I was off anyways. We could have spent the day together. I kind of figured he just didn't want to get sick. Fair enough, it sucks. But later that night he said he would be down the following night. I said I thought it was Strep and that he should stay away until I wasn't contagious anymore. He said he didn't mind. So it wasn't a getting sick issue, it was just not on his time. It just wasn't what he wanted to do. At that moment it all clicked. It was always on his time. His wants. I wasn't even deserving of a courteous, is there anything I can do? Yeah, it didn't even make you soup. Yeah. You could even leave your soup on the doorstep. Yeah. Either soup outside, don't get me sick. So I replied that I wasn't up for hosting and I would prefer to him to just stay at his for the weekend. He was offended and said he would sit with me at the hospital on Sunday, my only day off, to get meds and that he just wanted to help. But if this is how I feel, there was the offer to help. Finally. But I couldn't help but feel like he was only saying that now that he realized that I didn't want him here on his time. Message to be the next day with the obligatory, good morning text, hope you feel better. I ended up in the hospital that night. I was dehydrated and needed fluids and they gave me steroids as my throat was so swollen I could barely breathe, let alone eat and drink. I did not end up having strep and was back to work the next day. As I was waiting in the waiting room for eight freaking hours, I messaged him that I wanted to talk but I physically could not speak at the moment, which was good because I needed to get my thoughts in order anyway. He messaged back with I'm here when you want to talk and that was the last time we spoke. I feel like I support him in every aspect. I am his cheerleader when he needs it. I always try to build him up when he is down and push him forward. He needs something, I've got him and I can't get the bare minimum offer of help in return when I'm at my worst. When I let him know how tight things were financially, his first response was, don't suppose your ex would call it even. That's firstly wild to say when he's my ex and you're my current partner, but okay. Then his next concern was where his car payments were going to come from. I told him I would continue to cover them until January when he starts his paid co-op but never any concern for me. Part of me keeps thinking this is his first relationship, maybe he just doesn't know better. But then I reminded myself that if it was his mom or sister, he would drop everything to be there for him. Or at the very least ask a follow-up question like, you need anything? Heck, I do that for friends and neighbors, let alone your partner. What I have concluded is that he just doesn't want to be here, which is fine, but I mean, we see each other two to three days a week maybe. So it's not like we are constantly together and he needs a break. I want someone who wants to be with me, who counts the minutes till we can be together again. Like I do, not needs time away. I know a lot of people will assume there's someone else, but that is not the case and I am 100% positive of that. I am his first relationship. I feel like with your first relationship, you can either go on the side of being like, I want to do everything for this person and I want to like really show up in every way I can because I feel so inadequate in terms of experience or this. He is extremely shy when it comes to talking to women and I had to chase him. I know he loves me and that this is not just a case of him not being into me. I am above average in looks, I am self-sufficient, have my crap together and am low maintenance. That's the thing, low, not no. I have also communicated my need for effort. I'm not asking for him to support me or solve all my problems. I'm asking for bare minimum emotional support and effort in our relationship. I can't be in another relationship where I give and try so hard only to receive less than the bare minimum in return. So I guess what I am here to ask is, what now? I guess the ball is technically in my court to reach out, but I don't really want to. I've told him how I feel before and I know we will have this conversation again and it might get better for a while, but it will inevitably revert back again. You can't teach someone how to treat you with importance. I believe when you love someone, you want to go above and beyond for them. It should come as easy as breathing unless you have a swollen throat. And if it's not, then that means it's just not your person, right? I also don't like confrontation. So I was just thinking about mailing the Christmas gift I got for him and his mom and sister along with all of his stuff and being done with it. I feel like a conversation won't change anything for long as it's been said before and will just leave me feeling bad as I know he does love me in his way, but I guess he just doesn't love me in the way I need him to, if that makes sense. He isn't a bad person and doesn't treat me badly. I just feel like an afterthought a lot and definitely on the lowest level of priority, which I know I'll always be below his mom and sister. I accepted that long ago, but below his free time and games too. So Reddit, what would you do? Reach out and try to talk it out yet again and possibly giving him another chance or just take this momentum of not talking and run with it, possibly being the coward of not officially ending it and instead letting it just remain unsaid and sending his stuff back in the mail or meeting up and telling him it's over and why. Part of me feels like this is just one more thing that I have to put the effort in for as he avoids it. It just would be kind of poetic if we just never spoke again. Like, why did you guys break up? And he has to say, I don't know, or we just stopped talking. It's kind of an homage to the effort put into our relationship. But another part is saying, I would be the a-hole if I don't give him a reason. Maybe he's sitting there wondering what the F, but maybe he's also just relieved to have the time to himself and is completely unaware that anything's even wrong. Here I am again, worrying about his feelings and where the heck is he? I don't know, what do you think? We have an update. I think this relationship is kind of over. I think it's over, but I think you should tell him that. I don't think you should ghost him. I think you should go to him and say, hey, especially because this is his first relationship, not that you owe him a lesson. Right, but he also did say, like, whenever you want to talk, I'm here. So it is in your court now. Yes, I think you go to him and you say, hey, I've expressed a satisfaction with your ability to show up for me and plan things and put an effort. And you said you heard me and you made no changes. And so I don't think this relationship can continue. Thank you for the reality check. It was much needed, Illo-O. Yesterday was Christmas day. After not hearing from him for two weeks, I get a text at eight in the morning, just as the kids and I are settling in to open presents. It says, Merry Christmas to you and the kids. Would it be okay if I stopped by? A rush of emotions passed and I instantly wanted to cry, but most notably, the first one was dread. The perfect peace and joy of the moment was shattered. Why now of all times? But I kept the smile and we went about our Christmas morning. I honestly don't know if he's really that dumb or if it was just vindictive at this point. I don't know if he honestly thought nothing was wrong this whole time or if it was the plan to either try and ruin my Christmas by forcing me to confront it that day or maybe I would just let everything go in the spirit of Christmas. I honestly don't know what he was thinking. I already drafted a text about how disgusted I was with his lack of care and that his stuff was in my garage in a box and he could get it at his convenience, but I specified not today. I also specifically said I did not want anything from him and I don't wanna talk it out. Don't worry, it was just as long and painful as the way I write it here and he too had to suffer without a TLDR. I was going to wait until Boxing Day or the weekend to send it and get through the rest of Christmas in peace, but he forced my hand. I did not want him showing up and confusing my kids, so I sent it and blocked him everywhere. I was hoping that would just be it, but a few hours later, I'd go to take out the recycling and find that he has left bags of gifts for the kids and I, as well as roses, my favorite liquor, a mug that I had forgotten about, and my house key that I also completely forgot he had. Points for honesty, but it also made me realize that I didn't have anything at his house. I had cleared half my closet for him, that's prime real estate, and I didn't even get a drawer. Although to be fair, his room was very cramped and I only spent one max two weekends a month there, and he had not picked up his box of stuff. To be clear, it's a detached garage that is left unlocked and open, rural living, so he could have easily gone in and got it while he was here. I don't even know what to think. I don't want this stuff. I don't even want to open it. I don't need any more reminders, and most importantly, I feel like accepting them at this point is wrong in some way. It makes me uncomfortable. I ended up giving the roses to the kids to give to their stepmom for Christmas, so I didn't have to look at them. And I kinda just want to put the presents in the box of his stuff to go back. But I feel like he left the box here on purpose, either because he doesn't care about the stuff in it enough to want it back, or he intends to make another trip back. I don't know, I don't understand the purpose of all of this, and why it was done in this way. I feel like my head is spinning. I never got any kinda note, no explanation, and I blocked him. So if he did reply to my message, I wouldn't know. At this point, no explanation would matter anyways. I just feel, I guess, guilty about all the stuff, like the presents were probably bought a few days ago. Perhaps I should have sent the breakup text earlier? I don't know. I know it's probably my own issues making me feel this way, but it just feels off. I don't know. What do I do with the presents and his stuff? I don't freaking know. Maybe if you talk to him. Don't make him. You'd know, but you don't. You don't want to talk to him, so you don't know if he wants his stuff or if he forgot it or anything, so, eh. But that's the end of that story. Sure is, and the end of the episode. It's like a joke, it makes me feel down, I keep going under it. Get that Toyota electric feeling with the all new, all electric Toyota Urban Cruiser, available with 0% APR representative and 1,500 pound deposit contribution, and save 1,500 pounds with the Toyota Electrified Saving. Visit your nearest Toyota center, Jemka Bromley. Priced from 2995, available on Toyota PCP when financed through Toyota Financial Services by 30th of June, 2026. Optional final payment and damages may be required through website conditions apply. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.