#165 - Ali Macofsky

Oppa! Welcome everyone to StoVy's World 904-800 stop. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. Returning fan favorite, Ali Mckofsky. What? That's right. Bringing in 2026, as we all know, mid-January at this point. We were just talking about our New Year's resolutions. You were considering getting fat. Yeah, I think I should get really fat. That would be awesome. I think it would be good for me. Okay. Spiritually, clean-wise. Yeah, I think all the above. I think I just need to change and I think everyone's getting really skinny right now. True. And so I could kind of tap into the overweight female comic. Zag. Yeah. Well, historically, show business treated fat women really well. Well, I think for one person. I think you get one fat woman for every five years. I know, that's what I'm saying. It seems like a bad idea on the surface. I think it's a bad idea in general, but I think for me it's a good idea. I kind of see what you're saying. Because I do think I wear, like I've never been very fat, but I think sometimes when I get a little thicker in the face, I wear it kind of well. I think it looks good on me. I don't want to disrespect you and it's not disrespect because I love the fat community. I think you'd make a great fat person. I think so too. I think kind of spiritually, you kind of are fat. Yeah. Because you like trash. And it's annoying to be my size, which is like very much average. Right in the middle, right down the middle. And talk about food the way I talk about it. It's very like pick me, like to the fat community. I mean, on tour, remember you were fucking talking like, what were you talking about? You're McDonald, like you're. I talk, yeah, anything. You just love trash. I love garbage food. I was just in Rochester and they're known for something called a garbage plate. And I'm like, that's what I want. Like I love eating slop. I love slop, but it does feel like whenever I'm around fat people and I'm like trying to connect, it does feel disingenuous. And so I think instead of talking about it, I need to be about it. Right. You know, your money, where your mouth gets fetish. And I like, yeah, I come from like a long line of, you know, heavy people. And so it's coming for you. It's coming for me. One way or another. Yeah. This is you rationalizing what it's going to happen regardless. I'm just like letting people know. So they're not shocked when they see me in a couple months and I'm huge. I don't want them to be like, oh, that would be awesome. I'll be like, no, I've been talking about this. I love that. I think you would actually crush it. And yeah, you do have a fat vibe. Yeah. You're laid back like a fat person. Yeah. You like, and the thing is you are trash. Yeah. Which there is a big intersection between fat and trash. And that's why I never take it personally when you talk about fat stuff. Yeah, I don't want it to come off as like. Of course. We're boys. I get it. Yeah. And you know what? What's that? This is even more pick me. And I don't want to like infringe on your brand, but it is working out for you. I'm balding. I swear to God. I swear to God. I looked in the mirror. Okay. So, so I was doing my hair. And I have it like I'm blow drying it. And so I have it half up, half down. And and it's half up, half down. Moe, my boyfriend. Of course. Shout out to Moe. We love Moe. He walks by and he looks at me and he goes, oh my God. And so I'm like, oh no, is there like a spider on my head or do I have like a bunch of dandruff? And I look there's a there's a chunk missing. I'll show you a chunk missing. Wait, let's see. Can you see it? There is a chunk missing. Holy fuck. I do see it. That is fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm coming for you. What do you think that is? The spot? Well, I at first I was like, I have a really high pain threshold. So I'm like, maybe I somehow like ripped it out and just moved on with my day. And then I'm like, that's kind of crazy. And then I was looking it up. I started taking antidepressants. I don't know if you guys can tell. How are they? Are they working for you? You tell me. Is there a sparkle in my eye? Not really. Okay. I wouldn't say sparkle. Yeah. Yeah, that's been gone for a while. But I don't know that you ever had one. I did. I did. Yeah. I remember a time where there was a sparkle in my eye. Maybe you were drinking. Maybe six years old. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I met you when I first moved here and you must have been like a child. You were like fucking 20 or 19 or something. And then I guess there was a youthful sparkle. But I don't know. Not even then. You don't think? No. Because were you already sober at like 19? No. Yeah. That's when someone sobered 19, they were up to no good at 15. Yeah. Yeah. So you kind of and you did do I do I feel like you did some wild shit. Oh, yeah. You know, crashed a lot of cars. Crashing cars. Sucking and fucking around all around town. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I think you kind of used a lot of your sparkle. As we as we covered here, you were a child radio star sensation. Yeah. You were a greater Los Angeles. Yeah. I wonder if that's when the sparkle faded the Hollywood. The Rock. Yeah. You had the rock star. I kind of blew my load early. You were a seven year old that did prank calls. Yeah. Like Z 109.8 or whatever the fuck it was. Yeah. Me and Ryan Seacrest. You would. Oh, that's right. You're old colleague. He's lost the sparkle in his eye. Oh, the sparkles. Yeah. He's tough. Yeah. He seems he seems like he feels like, you know, one of, um, do you ever see behind the candelabra? No. The Liberace movie. Yeah, I'm familiar. Where he would get like hot gay guys and make and like kind of drain them of their life force. He feels like he's one. He's like one of Liberace's boyfriends. It's on the way out. Mm hmm. Like Liberace has sucked them dry. Well, they say they say, I don't know. I don't know who they is. There was this one girl in high school, Rachel, and she was like, you have to be careful who you sleep with because the energy transfers. And I was like, don't slush me, bitch. But now that felt pointed at you. It was. Yeah. And now looking back, I'm like, there might be truth to that because the people who I slept with, they're not giving me energy. There's no transference that's like helping me in any way. Well, I don't know that you necessarily read as a high energy individual either. You know, I don't know. I don't think anyone's fucking you and be like, I need some of that zest for life. That's just oozing out of Allie's pores. Like I need a quiet fuck. I need to chill out. I need to silence. I need to silently. Yeah. No one makes any noise. Nobody comes. Yeah. That's interesting. I don't think it's like a chemical reaction of the sex, but just spending time around someone and caring about opening, opening up any kind of intimacy with someone. I think can lead to them draining you. Yeah. In a way, in a weird way, if you just don't give a fuck about who you're hooking up with, I don't think they can drain you because you're, you're just like, okay, great. Then I think I'm the drainer. I can see that. Yeah. I might be the drainer. I can see people being like, she just doesn't really respond. Like she didn't really say anything. She was kind of weird. Yeah. I thought it'd be fun. But what are you supposed to say during sex? I don't think it was a say anything. I agree with you. And I think, I think part of it is for me, my whole life is talking. My whole life is performance and talking. So I'm not trying to, I have to have lines that I have to say. I have to say certain things. Yeah. If you're in the moment to say some stuff. I'm kind of a sexual pull toy. I have like three things. Yeah. You have three. You're dick so good. You're like a boppet. Don't stop. Don't stop. Nice dick. I'm not a bop. Nice dick. I'm going to come. I'm going to come. I'm going to come. I'm going to come. Nice dick. I'm going to come. Harder. Harder. Yeah. Twist it. That one still works. Pull it. Twist it. Yeah. I don't know. But it's not only because it's about saying something. I think it's just about feeling like an active participant. Yeah. You know. No. I mean, I'm a good sport about it all. Sure. Well, I just think you have general confidence. You have general kind of like waiting in line at the DMV energy a lot of times. Yeah. You're very low. So it's like unless and look, this happens where people flip. Sometimes people are completely opposite of what they're like in real life sexually. But if you bring like your everyday energy to sex, I could see that being annoying. You know what? I feel like too when, when you're in a monogamous relationship, it would be out of character to suddenly be like, yeah. Yeah. Like it would be concerning. Yeah. It would be like, well, I don't know. What are you thinking of? You know. You'd be like, are you cheating on me? Yeah. Are you overcompensating because you're cheating? But I think with like a like a one night stand situation, that's when you can kind of Daniel Day-Lewis. You're like, what am I going to be tonight? I'm going to create this character. Yes. That is interesting. Yeah. You can, you're somebody new every time. Yeah. You can be the one you want to be. Yeah. Yeah. I could see that. I could see that. Yeah. So maybe you're the trainer. I don't know. Have people drained me of my life force? Probably. But again, I think it's not the sex. I think it's just their energy. Just who they are. Yeah. And especially when you really like someone and they don't give a fuck about you. That is literal draining of your energy where it's like, it's all one way. If you're in one of those relationships, I could see that. Yeah. I could see that happening. I just mean like, I don't mean like actual dating someone, but the classic situation ship that's going around, you know, that's the term right now. Those are probably draining you, but it's not about fucking. Basically, I'm just trying to say keep busting it wide open, everybody. Yeah. Just make sure you're doing it with people who respect you. That's my general. That's my general. But don't put the tits away. Whatever you do. Yeah. Nice. I've been having crazy dreams in New York on the East Coast. Really? I've been having some very, I had the most random dream out of dream that Edgar Wright killed himself in front of me. I don't even know this man like that. Like that. What do you mean? I don't know. Like why is he in my frontal cortex? Are you a big, do you like his stuff? No, I mean, yeah, I do. The running man was, I liked it. I haven't seen it yet. It was fun. I saw it on 4DX. Oh, fun. Glenn Powell's got the cheeks out. Well, but then I had a dream that Glenn Powell was trying to fuck me. He was trying to fuck me so bad. And you were like, I'm good, Glenn. Yeah, I was like, Glenn, back up, I have a man. I have a boyfriend. Oh, that's actually pretty nice. Even in your dreams, you're, you know. Well, that's the craziest dream I've had, which is so weird. In my dreams, I should be fucking whoever I want. Yeah, it's your dreams. You could fuck. There's been two dreams recently where I've put my man first. That's actually beautiful. I don't like it. That's not how it should go. I don't want to be fucking my man in my sleep. I'm not even doing it away. Now I go to bed and I'm like, yeah. That's how it starts. You're asleep and most like, you want to suck most of it. You want to fuck. You want to give Moe head more. He just puts like hypnosis tapes. You think you're having vivid dreams. He's like taking over your phone. My Spotify. Yeah. I listened to Dateline to go to bed. The Dateline podcast. Oh, Dateline has a podcast. Yeah, Keith Morrison, his voice is so incredible for sleep. Interesting. Fuck. I guess it makes so much sense that Dateline would have pivoted the podcast. Well, yeah, I mean, it's just the episodes that they put on TV, but it's just the audio version. They cut out like dead air when they're showing stuff. Interesting. I guess, I mean, true crime podcast. I've just eaten deadlines lunch. Yeah. I'm sorry. Dateline. Dateline's lunch where it's like, because they would all, they would often have like a special about this woman had the perfect life until her husband killed her. You know what I mean? Or was it her husband? And I feel like a lot of those shows were the precursor. They do more than just that though, right? Don't they? What do you mean? Don't they do more than just like murder stuff? I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, they do more stuff. No, not really. Date line. Yeah. No, it's pretty much a murder. Yeah. I've listened some date, uh, date line stuff recently and it's like just this vintage, trashy, schlocky tone that like, you know, it doesn't go anywhere near as deep as like a good true crime podcast. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like designed to like watch on your couch while eating a TV dinner. So it's got its own little length. There's just like a nice, there's a nice rhythm to it. There's a nice cadence that you can just lock into a formula, a bygone formula. Absolutely. I get that. Yeah. I think, I think those true crime projects are just inevitably going to get back to that though. Cause like it starts with you really caring and now it's, they've just become like these sort of money machines. They will get to formulaic at some point, but I could see that being sort of like nostalgic to be listening to that. I've never, I never got into like the two girls talking about murder with mimosas. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. The tone is all wrong. Yeah. At least Dateline has the, they have the decency to pretend it's news. Yeah. Even though it's like, it's the same bullshit. You're, you're just like, It's like for the family. Exactly. It's like, this is, yeah, this is foreclosure and to warn people. It's like, no, it's not. No, it's not at all, but whatever we can pretend you have a guy in a suit talking about it, not like a gay guy. Well, there's one guy, there's one guy on Dateline, Josh Mancox, Mancox. I don't know Josh Mancox. I don't like his energy at all. He's a pervert. Okay. And obviously that's alleged and there's no proof, but the way he talks about stuff, I'm like, you're sick. When you say alleged just from you, just from me, just the vibe. I'm getting the way he talks. He's, he's, there's like kind of a, like you can, there's a lot of saliva in his mouth. It sounds like, and I'm like, why are you foaming at the mouth? You fuck. Like it's just, he's got a heavy mouth, maybe a heavy tongue. Maybe a heavy tongue. Sometimes people, you can tell when somebody's tongue is a little too big for their mouth. Yeah. The way he talks about stuff, I'm like, shut up. Beat it. Mancox. You're sick. You're sick. Interesting. Yeah. I used to be a big, I was, we were talking about this. This is a very, a real generational thing. Like I will tell, like the idea that I'll tell to like my nephew someday that I used to fall asleep to terrestrial radio feels insane. Oh, interesting. But I really was the last, because we didn't have internet in my house. My parents kind of, my parents had a couple of very foreign things about them, which is like, they didn't want internet. We didn't get, we got dial up when I was like, maybe an eighth grade. And even then you weren't allowed to fucking really use it. And, and we didn't have a microwave until my dad just thought it was like too science fictiony. He was like, this is unnatural. It's like, what the fuck do you know about anything? Some guy, one Greek guy told them once that it was unhealthy. And we, but I remember getting a microwave and being so fucking pumped. Yeah. But we didn't have internet. So I did in like, even in high school, like how can, how do you like listen to Spotify now or whatever. I was fucking listening to music. Like when I'm playing Madden, I'm listening to the fucking radio and I would go to sleep to Love Line terrestrial radio. And it is like that feel telling that to somebody now. Wait, what's terrestrial radio? I thought. Oh, I thought you were saying like you were listening to like alien. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's just a word you don't know. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny because you weren't really a child star, but it feels like you got the level of education a child star gets where it's like they pull you out of school to act and stuff. But you just went to school with children who were because you grew up in LA. No, I mean, I grew up in Long Beach. Oh, Long Beach. Yeah. Cause I feel like I've seen picture of you with like the, don't you show like picture of you with like, did you go to school with the kids from Big Daddy? Well, they, their grandma was my neighbor growing up. So they would like go to their grandma's and then hang out with me and my sister's. But then they were such assholes when I like, I was working at lemonade. Do you know lemonade? It's like a quick service restaurant. I was working there and one of the twins came in and I was like, oh my God, like, yeah, like we grew up whatever. And it wasn't like one time they were at my damn birthday party. Like I'm not some like weirdo fuck who's like whatever. And he was like, okay. Wow. Giving you the hi-hat. Yeah. And it's like we grew up together. We made cookies together. We grew up together. And also by the way, you're not that hot right now. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe one thing of like their life was a nonstop. Totally. But it's like, listen, one of you's in Riverdale. Yeah. And I don't even know which one I'm talking to. And I don't know which one you are. I don't know who you are. I'm just being polite in the way you do when you bump into, I'm not clout chasing. No. I'm just trying to close a loop. Yep. You're trying to close a loop. Wow. And that's the last interaction you've had with them. Well, then I saw one of the other, whatever other brother it was. I don't know. It could have been the same one. And another food service job I had. And I said, you know what? I'm not doing this again. Yeah. I'm not falling into this trap. I'm not going through this again. Yep. I said, do you want more water? Right, right, right. And he threw it in your face. Yeah. Don't fucking look at me. I can't look at me. Anyway, yeah, terrestrial radar just means radio with an antenna. Okay. But it does feel like the kind of shit, like when I was growing up, it'd be like somebody telling you they listened to like the phonograph or whatever. Or like, I used to go to vaudeville shows. Yes. You know, it's like, like, if I tell a child that I used to listen to the actual radio, they'll be like, what? But you know, by the time, They'll be like, what is the radio? By the time you tell your nephew, it'll be like, do you know what I just discovered? The radio, I just got one. You're right. There will be a swing back to having boomboxes. You're absolutely correct. Yeah. I keep waiting for there to be a generate. It's not, I think it will happen a generation that like thinks, you know, the internet and whatever is like, they want to get away from it. Oh yeah. I wonder if that'll happen if it's just to ingrain in their lives. But I think there will at least be a subculture that's like, we're getting away from this bullshit. Yeah, totally. I feel like kids are going to start using like flip phones. I think so. Yeah. I think it might need to might need like a generation. Like we might need to see like how fucking stupid some of these kids right now are about to get. Yeah. I think they're going to get really fucking dumb. And I think there might be a swing back. My theory is that rich people are going to stop letting their kids have screens at all. And they're going to become like smart way smarter. I think there will be a, a like economic split on that type of shit. But how old is your nephew? He's a baby. He's a baby. He's a big aunt and uncle. I mean, I'm like two years old. Okay. Because I'm an aunt now. That's right. And my nieces are like around two years old at the moment. And there's something really difficult about being an aunt or an uncle. Let's talk about it. Nowadays because. This is a big aunt and uncle. I mean, we're both uncles here. This is a big uncle podcast. Yeah. Because now I noticed it's hard to be an aunt because kids have like miss Rachel. Right. And so I'm like, I'm chopped liver. Right. Especially if you don't live there. You're interacting with them through a screen. The way they interact with miss Rachel. Yes, but they get miss Rachel more often. And she's bringing the heat. Yeah, totally. And it's like, she's talking to them like, hi. And then they see me and I'm like, Hey, and they're like, we don't like that voice. Smile more bitch. Yeah. They don't like your energy. They can't call you. It would have hurt you to smile on Allie. I feel like compete with this. Put a little makeup on aunt Allie. I do notice. I'm like, I feel like when I see them, I do. Have to put makeup on because I feel like if they see me looking haggard, they get scared. I didn't think that would be so funny. You have to fucking dress up for your baby nieces. Cause I feel like they want someone kind of polished. Right. Right. Right. And if I'm just coming up, coming over or like, right, waking up, they're like, you're scary. That's so fucking funny. Yeah. Well, is that a different like, does you were you? Are you the most low maintenance of your siblings? Totally. Gotcha. Yeah. So their mom, probably. Yeah. My sisters are always like looking good. Plus also like one into your own mom. Like they can look haggard, but they're comforting. But yeah, when you're, but me, I'm stranger danger. Hi, can I have a hug? Hug me. How often do you see that? Are they like, I mean, they're on the road somewhere and they live there. Arizona. And the Bay Area. So I don't see them super often, but there was a time where I was trying to like be the miss Rachel of my family and like make videos and send it to my sisters to show them. So they would like see me often, but I just don't have the charisma or the charm. Yeah, you can't compete. Like from facing videos. Can't compete. No, with these, she's got it dialed the fucking brutal. And you know, she, yeah. That is very funny to, to, to be getting out done by miss Rachel. I love the idea that you're trying to make stand, not you FaceTime them. You're making videos for them to watch. Yeah. That's really hilarious. You're like, this is how I'll interact with my dearest celebrity on cameo. Like, hey, you're making cameos for your nieces. You might recognize me from family. That is fucking awesome. I am. Yeah. I'm a little, I have, I am excited to be in the uncle zone. My brother's in Baltimore. I just kind of want to see the kid like, I don't know, once a month or so if I can, because it's not that far. It's also, but I have noticed, I don't know if this is true for you. Now I'm like pissed because I kind of have to spend my holidays with my family. Yeah. Because it's like before it was so easy to like avoid you fucking assholes. I don't care about you, but then there's a baby. You gotta see the baby. You want to be there for the baby. Totally. Yeah. You don't want to be the guy who the baby doesn't know, you know, because it's like, and it happens. Especially as an uncle, I feel like it's similar to like dads where it's like, you could just be a loser. Of course. Yeah. You want to be there. Well, I've made peace with, I will be the strange uncle. Sure. You know, my life's bizarre. Yeah. And like, but I need to be there at least so that by the time he figures out how weird I am, he'll have an actual relationship to me. Yes. So I'm signing out who I am by listening to the come town back catalog. You know what I mean? I want him to have an idea of like the real you. I don't want him to have the same opinion of me as like weird Reddit guy. You know what I mean? Like I want him to actually know me and then be able to fill in some hilarious gaps. Totally. It will be funny how much we've put out of ourselves though for like next generation. I haven't even thought about that. Oh yeah. There's a lot. All our fucking disgusting material. Yeah. I mean, I'm just podcasting. I mean, thousand, like I've been talking for thousands of hours. Yeah. Now the luck, luckily, I don't think they'll give a fucking enough about us to do it. That's the saving grace. You're, you're, you're nieces are going to be like, I'm not listening to that busted bitch talk. Yeah. My, my like theory right now on, on the internet and like being out there at first I was like, I was like, Oh, like, I don't know. I just had this warped. I think I was just dumb and I was like, nothing lasts forever. And then with the internet, it really does. And so now I'm like, I'll do anything online because the more that's out there, the harder you can't see that. I kind of understand that logic. And I think to them for the most part, that will be true. It'll just be if it ever changes boy, oh boy, will there be material out there to sift through. But yeah, whatever, who actually gives a fuck? I don't, it's too late. By the way, too late now. Totally. There's not nothing we can do about it. How's the vape? You charging the vape? I'm charging it up. I love it. So good. I love it. Like before I got in here, that it was kind of like hitting in a way where I was getting heart palpitations and I was like, yes. That's the good shit. Yes. Yeah. Cause I feel like I've made so much that I don't really feel it. Right. And so when it kind of creates some sort of reaction, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Even if it's your heart. Yeah. Like stopping. Please stop doing this. But you're like, no, I'm having a rush. So good. Yeah. What flavor are we working with? Just Virginia tobacco. Classic. Simple. Classic. Classic. I respect that. Yeah. With your Netflix as a joke, power bank. Yeah. Got to stay charged. Got to stay juiced up. Perks of the fast. Of course. Perks of the fast. Love a swag bag. Are you doing anything about going bold in that patch or are you just going to look at that patch or are you just going to let it ride? Well, the nice thing is I shaved my head before and I look decent bald. Yeah. I can rock a bald head. You've gone fully to, I might have to go bald again. If I go bald, I accept it. So you're going to get fat as shit and have a buzz cut? No, I can't do that. I can't be fat and buzz cut. You can't do both. You can't do both. Well, I'm just, I'm tracking the progress. So far it looks like the follicles are growing back. Okay. And I've been blessed with a great head of hair. So I think I'm good. Okay. But I'm like, at first I was like, am I going to have alopecia? Like, am I going to have to be the new roast master general? Is that what he's got? Alopecia? Yeah, Jeff Ross. That's hilarious. Yeah. He's got no eyelashes. No lashes. No lashes, no eyebrows. Late in life alopecia? I've never even heard of that. Yeah. But I think this is just a fluke. Okay. Yeah. But I mean, yeah, I can't be. It would be funny if you, if Jeff Ross dies, you become, it's like the Santa Claus where it's like, have you ever seen the Tim Allen Santa Claus? Yeah. Where it's like, he becomes the new Santa Claus and like within like a couple days he's fattish and he has a beard. Yes. If you become the new roast master general, maybe that's what's going on. Maybe Jeff. Maybe Jeff is about to die. Jeff is about to die. Every time, the bolder you get, the closer to death he gets, the fatter you get. Maybe that's what's going on in your head. Oh my gosh. Wow. It's going to be so awkward when I see him. I'm like, I'm so sorry. I didn't choose this. You're about to die. You're on the way out. You better brush up on your fucking roast jokes. Wow. That would be nice. Yeah. Maybe if it worked that way, if you got to just inherit the general ship. Me and David tell her about to have an incredible friendship. Ain't going to be bumping mics. Yeah. Yay. You said, you said before we started that you on the train here heard some people talking shit about me. Yeah. I didn't want to say that part. I was just going to be like, they were talking about you. So cool. But they were talking shit. We should have known there was going to be the naturals follow up. I was like, oh cool. What were they saying? You're like, nah, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. All press is good press. What? I recorded the tail end. Can you just? I was too late to get the full thing. We'll just give us like a run down. I'll set it up. Okay. I'll set it up. Before we roll the clip. So I'm on the train and there's three guys, of course, three white men. And it starts out with one of the guys going, um, yeah, I saw strawberries at the gym. You know, strawberries, alchias. So I'm at the gym. Okay. So I'm at the gym. Which by the way, the gym. No. Okay. Absolutely. Yeah. So they're like, whoa, that gym. He's going to that. What's he doing there? What? Are you guys watching? Stoffy gets ripped. Come on. Also, how what the fuck do they, their assholes, they're just some fucking three assholes. I'm on, I'm in this pissing me off. I can afford a nice gym. You motherfuckers. I'm doing good. He's spending that much what to use the sauna. All right. They got, they got me there. Or was that you? The sauna joke. I timed it. Yeah. Yeah. That's sad. Cock sucker. What's he's wasting this fucking money for? He should be, I heard he was in plan. If it is only showing up on the pizza days. Here's the tail end of that combo. I don't think it's legal to do this. Can't really hear it. You can hear it at the beginning. Oh, they said that. They're not even laughing, which I do. It's like she talked me, but at least get a little enjoyment out of it. And I'm not opposed to mocking a fat guy, a fat stranger. But what kills me is they're not even enjoying being like, that fat piece of shit's probably just going for the sauna. They're like, yeah, he probably, it kills me because they're like, yeah, he probably is. Yeah. I mean, there's no, I was working out. You fucking pricks. I know in the guy who saw you there, could have defended you and been like, he was there. I saw him using the elliptical. I would first of all, I'm following Arnold's. I'm doing the pump app. Yeah. Arnold's fit Arnold's pump club. Oh, and yes, on this season of Stavigate's ripped, I was doing mostly body weight exercises, but I've started moving some real iron. Okay. So I don't know what this asshole saw, although I will say if you saw me yesterday, I had a shoulder injury and I was going lighter at the gym. Okay. But I was moved. I was still on the machines. Let him know. Let him know. This is pissing me off. I know. It really upset me. Because when you, you were like, they were talking shit. I was like, oh, they're calling me unfunny. They're, you know, they're just called, or they're calling me generally fat. But for a guy who saw me at the gym, you saw me at the gym, motherfucker. What am I supposed to do? You can't win. You can't do anything with these motherfuckers. I know. If he had seen me eating fucking pizza, he would have been like that fat cocksucker. But he saw, you saw me doing lat pull downs. Yeah, I did want to chime in, but I had to kind of let, let it, let it happen. Was there anything else going on? Did you catch, did they, did they move on? No. One of the guys got off and then the conversation pivoted. Yeah. It was kind of like group mentality. I think it was because there was a third guy there. They're like, uh, and stuff's fat at the gym. And then as soon as the guy got off there, like, what does he do for work again? Yeah. Okay. Nice. Yeah. Like, totally. Okay. So this is not a good group of guys. No, no. This is a fucking group of jackals. And I think it was like a situation where I did want to chime in and be like, he's actually really trying hard to like, you know, get ripped and his brother's like a fitness guy and like it's kind of all in the family. You know, it's kind of hard, you know. But the type of guys it was, I was scared they were going to be like, shut up, you're fat too bitch. Like I didn't know where it was going to go. Well, that's right. Okay. I will say what a noise me about go. So yeah, it's a nicer gym. We won't say what it is. Yeah. But it's like, I was poor and got rich through entertainment. They're clearly just they've been rich their whole lot. They're clearly like New York rich guys who do see things that cost more. They see it as an unofficial caste system where they're like, we're finance guys. Our dads have been finance guys. We deserve nice things. But some fat slob who clawed his way out of the mud through podcasting. He doesn't deserve to be here. And I that I will say getting to do nicer shit. I actually hate it because the people you're around suck. Yeah. Like going to a nice gym. It's like I'm I'm 36 and I've been working hard as fuck for like, you know, a long time. And I'm like, okay, this is nice. And then you're just there and you see like 22 year olds and they have like fucking like, you know, some Ivy League or an NYU sweatshirt. And you're like, they didn't pay for that college. They didn't do anything. They've just had nice shit their whole lives. And it's like this shit, you should have to work to get nice stuff. Yeah. So anyway, fuck those guys. I did let them get to me. Unfortunately. I'm sorry. But it is. It's like, what do you want? I'm at the gym. You fucking print. Yeah. And that would be such a flex to pay so much for a gym membership to just use the sauna. That is kind of a. And I don't even use the fucking sauna. Yeah. I'm there. And I will say a nice gym actually didn't. I thought it was going to be so awesome. I thought it'd be like you walk in, they give you a little fucking mint cucumber water. Nice warm towel. Yeah. Nice warm towel. It's just a fucking gym. Yeah. Going back to the regular one, man. I'm hungry. I know that I got this for you as like a little gift. What could I just. You can absolutely have some. Yeah. I'm actually trying to be healthier. I'm starting to get the shakes. Do you not have brekkie? No, not yet. It's okay. Well, why don't you just enjoy the gift you got me as your breakfast? Thank you. Because I probably won't. I would probably would have had a bite to be polite, but you know, I have some I have some meal prepped food waiting for me. Smell it though. I will smell. Oh fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Lisa. It was bad. Suck my ass. Oh yeah. Where is it from? The corner store. Tough res to get. Tough res to get. I didn't. Okay. Lisa, I apologize. I didn't know. I thought you just went to some dumb restaurant. I didn't realize you like had to get a reservation. She by the way, she didn't say it was horrible. She just said it was maybe a little overrated. Well, you know what? I will. Cause isn't this like Taylor Swift's favorite restaurant or something? Yeah. Yeah. But I will say in Lisa's defense, the first time I went, it was incredible and I did notice when we went, it wasn't as good as the last time I was there. It's the natural cycle of restaurants. Yeah. They get in the cycle of everything. It was still good though, but I could see if that's your first time going being like, this is a little bit overhyped. Right. The first time I went before was so fucking good. Was it still hyped when you went? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. So delivered on the hype, delivered on the hype and I was walking down the street after my first time at the corner store and I had a little to go, to go box and people were stopping me. They go, is it good? Are you serious? And I was telling them having the bag, just having the bag, people were like, how was it? Your celebrity just by eating your food. By the way, this is how you get fat. You go to all these fancy places. You seem like a power player and you're eating like, you know, all the butter. You're like more rolls and butter, you know what I mean? It would be so getting fat is the best thing in the world. It feels the best being fat. Cheers. Kind of tough, but we getting awesome staying fat your entire life. There are some health downsides. That looks fucking awesome. I'm fucking jealous. Wait, what is that? It's an apple. Handpile. Save me a bite there. I was engaged. Eldest has been all morning. Don't go too crazy over there with that. Like a sleeper. Oh, don't fucking relax. What's happening? Why don't we do, you know, before we get to the cause, why don't we do a little update? How's, you know, how's your dad doing? We're big Larry fans here. I was actually going to say, should we call him? Have you ever talked to? Have we ever called him? We haven't called him. Because he's, we met him. He came to the show. Oh, that's right. You met him. Yeah, I met him. I met your cousin. You met my cousin. Yep, your aunt. Yes. Okay, so my dad is now on Facebook dating. Oh, hell yeah. So he's been, I don't know. Like, I don't know if you would want to talk to him about that, but he got ghosted. He got ghosted by a woman in Temecula. And how far is that from him? Pretty far. So it wasn't going to ultimately work. But they were talking. But they were talking. And it was, I met her. You met her. You know, going kind of well. Okay. But yeah, he got ghosted. So he got to smash. Nice. He got to smash. Where were the applause, Zeldas? Wow, you're blowing it, dude. Okay, so, you know, still hit though. Classic. You may have gotten ghosted, Larry, but you still, you still hit. Yeah. And that's what's important. That's kind of the tough thing is like she ghosted after they smashed. So I'm like, damn, like what's going on with Larry? What is he doing? There is something. I've been thinking about this where it's like the worst thing that can happen to you is to fuck someone once. Because that means you did, you got them to, they took a chance. They were into it. They were into it. Because that's happened. The ones that hurt the most are not girls who just like never wanted to hang out. It's like, whatever. You're rejected. The girls that you like, I'm thinking of like particularly ones where I did have to really charm them and you could tell I wasn't necessarily their type, but I was crushing it so hard that I got to like smash and then you never get the follow up and you try. Oh, that's a tough one. Yeah, Larry's in that. Tough one to get. To get ghosted after a one smash is maybe the worst thing of all time. Totally. It's not better to have loved and lost. Never loved at all. It's not true of smashing. Yeah, smashing is a different story. Yeah, you want to smash multiple times or not at all, in my opinion. But he's had like a positive outlook on it. He was like, you know what? It was never going to work. She was in Temecula, you know? And so he changed his location to Arizona because he's beginning to move out there. He's transitioning to Arizona. He calls it La Arizona. Isn't that incredible? Well, Arizona is awesome. He's going to be, he's going to do just fine. Oh, totally. La Arizona. I need a La Arizona t-shirt. Yeah, I should make a fortune. La Arizona iced tea. Yeah. Yeah. So now he's like, he's got these like Arizona ladies on Facebook data and we'll see how good. Honestly, that's a good place to be a golden bachelor. Arizona. I feel like you got a lot of horny old ladies out there. All right. Good, good. I'm glad to hear that for Larry. Yeah. He hit, he got the smash. Well, and he's losing weight. He's on weight Govee. We're Govee. But he's starting to, he's starting to eat through it. Yeah. Oh, I have some experience with that. Yeah. You got to really know your, because I basically got, is that bound, prescribed me by kind of a fake doctor. Like the kind of doctor that like, you know. Oh, Zempik's like the new medical marijuana. Oh, 100%. It's like, do you have headaches? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And also when you're, when you just look fat, because it's like, you need these guys, you need guys to fake it when you're like a lady who wants to lose like 20 pounds and you probably really shouldn't, or even less. Like I know people who like maybe at like 10 pounds they were trying to lose or five pounds like crazy shit to get on it. But for me, there was no fight. I got prescribed it fast. But he didn't really know what he was doing with the dosing. So I kind of wasted a couple months on the wrong dose and I started talking to a different doctor. Like it was too low or? Too low. Uh-huh. You're supposed to go up like pretty, pretty regularly. Oh yeah. Like every month or so. Yeah. And I just didn't go up for like four months. Oh, that's crazy. So I just kind of maintained, I'm on a, I fixed my shit now and I feel it back and I feel like it's actually working again. Yeah. But maybe, so maybe Lair just needs to go up in doses. Maybe. Yeah. And of course though, he was like, I don't want needles. And now he's just. Now he's fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, if he's a fucking, he's fucking tying off. Oh, good for Lair. Yeah. I love the Larry update. Yeah. Anything, any other general updates? He's like, yeah. How's Mo doing? Is he still taking diarrhea medicine every day? Every single day. Every single day. Terrible diarrhea. Yeah. Mo's the man. Yeah. What's, what's new with Mo? Mo daddy. I don't know. Nothing much. You guys are just kind of nice. Yeah. Yeah. My theory that, you know, you'll eventually just become a lesbian. Is that started? And he'll start dating like, you know, 22 year old. She's going to get nipple piercings and just be like a weird. I've already had nipple piercings. No, he's going to get nipple piercings. Oh, wait, why would he do that? Because I think he's going to transition. Here's my view for him. Okay. He's going to transition to like a super sex positive like Dom. Oh, I love that. You know. But you'll be out of the picture. Oh. Well, are you guys have like a, you'll have a girlfriend. Okay. You guys have like a weird Polly thing. You know what I thought about. Yeah. You know, because when you get fat, listen, you're going to get fat. I'm going to get fat. He said he would leave me if I got fat. But I think you would be the same way you have like a fat vibe. You have a lesbian vibe as well. So I'm just saying I could see you becoming a fat lesbian. Totally. But who still has a beautiful, the way gay guys who are in open relationships stay in a sexless marriage. I could see you and Mo transitioning to a weird sexless marriage. He'll be the father of my children. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. You'll have a beautiful woman. He'll be dating like aspiring podcasting influencers. You know, he'll be getting sucked off left and right. Of course. He'll be into, he'll have leather. He'll be wearing like, you know, he'll have like gear. Yeah. He'll have harnesses that he puts women in and that kind of thing. You know, he's going to finally find himself at like 46. Totally. That's what I see for you and Mo. Thank you. I like that. I like that. As long as he's still in my life, you know. Absolutely. Yeah. You guys are both in each other's lives. Yeah. Right. And this has just worked out you're both happier. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We were talking about like the possibility of a threesome and just like the logistics of it. Of course. And I'm like, oh, like, yeah, I would just be so hard if it was like a woman because I would get so jealous. Like, you know, it would have to be like a Robbie Hoffman type for me to be okay with it. And then I was like, you know what? Wow. That must be real hot for him to hear. Yeah. And I was like, the only way I would be okay with us hooking up with a hot woman is if our first threesome was with another man because then it proves that you're like willing to do a threesome enough, you know, like you have to lose something to gain something. And that's a great way to look at sex with no relationship as battle. Yeah. You have to, you have to lose and then I'll allow you a victory after, after you've, yeah, and that's healthy. I'm a good girlfriend. Yeah. So it sounds like you won't be having a threesome. But then my fear was that if we bring a guy over, Now he's gay or what? No, that the guy and Mel are just going to vibe out. They're going to talk music, podcasts, and they're just going to be like kicking their feet and giggling on bed. And once again, I'm just in the corner. I'd be like, Ali, do you want to take off? Yeah, exactly. I'm like, there's just no situation where I win. So you're sexually jealous of other women and socially jealous of other men. Yes. Interesting. Yeah. I'm an interesting non-binary person. Totally. That's maybe the only way you could have a threesome relationship. Huh? Yeah, I'm not interested in threesome with another guy ever. I just don't see that as call me old fashioned. I think it should be a man and two women. You know, that's, that's just the kind of guy I am. But for some people, for the people that works great, you know, some people, some men look at that as a team building experience to fuck a lady together. Well, some guys are kind of gay, some lady, I understand if you're a girl and you want to get, you know, fucked by two guys, the way I like, I want to get fucked by two girls if a straight woman wants to get, you know, filled up by two guys. But I do love like, you just want more to be suffering. You know, your, your beloved boyfriend, not even sex. I would just want two guys to tell me they love me. I just want two guys to be like, you're so funny and beautiful. You're beautiful, you're funny. Yeah, I get that. That's sort of why I like the two girls set up, because you just feel like a king. You feel like the man, you're like, two girls are sucking me off. This is the fucking coolest thing possible. And sometimes that's what it's about. Tapping into how an idiot thinks. It's like your brainstem. You're not, it's not, it's not higher thinking. That's like, nice. Four tits are better than two. It's that simple. It's really that simple. Yeah, now I'm thinking about it. I just, I get it. My dick just gets hard. I'm like, oh, let's do some questions, Eldis. Actually, we probably should do some questions. Anything to plug here, Allie, at the halfway point. It is January, like we said. Yeah. I mean, I'm on tour. I'm all over. Maybe when this comes out, I might be in Cancun, Mexico doing comedy at a fish festival. Look at that. That sounds awesome. Yeah, I'm pumped. All inclusive. Sounds awesome. Hell yeah. What is this? Yeah, Jam Band, January, 28 through 31. Okay, nice. And then I'm doing other shows. Go to AllieMakowski.com. Come see me. The shows are fun. They're fun. Allie's hilarious. If you don't like me, it'll be fun. Absolutely. I did a show in Rochester, 12 people in the audience, the late shows Saturday. Comedy at the Carlson. Comedy at the Carlson. And honestly, I was like, I wish every show could just be these 12 people. They were good. They were good. It was so fun. It was incredible. That's fun sometimes. I had a great time. That's what's important. I'd rather have 12 good people than packed out like annoying, horrible people. But obviously I'd love all my shows to be sold out. Please come. Go to see Allie. She's hilarious. Play some calls, little Eldis. Hi, stop. Hi, Eldis. I guess a quick question. Basically, I've been with my husband for a long time. Like, we've been together probably like 13 years and been married for like seven. And we've always had a really good sex life. But in arguments, like over the years, he's often said that like, I'm not like initiating sex enough though. But now I feel like when I do, he like, he doesn't get off. Like we have the same sex, but he doesn't finish. He doesn't come or whatever. And so I just don't like, I feel like I don't know how to talk about it or like what to say. Cause I feel like whatever I say will be like dismissed or whatever. But it just feels really weird. And yeah, I don't know if you have any thoughts or opinions on this. Thank you so much. I love your show. I'm going to see you in Boston later. So okay, wait, okay, bye. That was a great show. You've already seen me. I remember you and your husband. You guys had rekindled your romance. Wait, so he, does he not come ever just when she initiates? That's what I'm curious about. It seems like from her call, it's just when she initiates. Yeah. Cause maybe when he's initiating, it's like he's mentally already there. And so it's easy for him to finish. He's already has cocked. Yeah. He's been thinking about fucking all day. Yeah. And so maybe when she's initiating, it just, he's like a little bit thrown off or he needs more time to like get in the zone. But that's kind of, that's really cute of him. That's so girlish. As I was going to say, this is girl behavior. Cause he got what he wanted and he's still not happy. Okay. Me. Okay. Me vibes. But it is, I guess one thing I'll say is, is it a problem? I don't think so. I think if you've been with someone for that long and like he's just not finishing, I think that's okay. Unless she, unless it's like deeper than that. But if he is finishing when he's initiate, like when he's initiating, it just seems like maybe there's like a different way to build up to the moment. Sure. I will say she seems exhausted in her voice. Her voice is that of a defeated voice. But that could be an alley situation where it's like that could just be a, don't judge a caller by their voice. Yeah. You have resting defeated voice. Yeah. I think that's just her. It's true. Every time you talk, like, like if we, if we'll talk on the phone, it's like, did you just get horrible news? Did you just hear your cat has to be put down? Why? I'm just sad and low energy. All right. So maybe we won't read into the voice. Now I will say, yeah, maybe it's not a problem, but also if you're initiating and things are different anyway, why don't you try a different technique to get him to bust? Yeah. I forget what my, I forget what my little vagina witch lady said. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to. Are you still seeing her? No. It felt weird the last time I was there. Did I tell you? I was getting on an Altadena. So to catch everybody up, Allie would go to an unlicensed medical professional who would finger her so that she would learn how to come. I was getting medically finger. She was getting medically finger. By a witch. In a back house in Altadena. So anyway, one of the. She would perform a ceremony calling in all the spirits and acknowledging the land. She would do a land tribute before fingering me. She is stolen land. Indian should be fucking Allie. Yeah. She would fucking burn sage and it would be like, scream so much. Yeah. The spirits coming out of your pussy. But her, her, her back house, one of the victims of the fires of the fires. Your, your fingering witch was also, was one of the many victims of the palisades fires. One of the untold stories of the fires. And so we were at some apartment. A motel. Yeah. Like an apartment in the valley. And it was like shared walls with other apartments. I was like, I can't let go in here. Where are we? Yeah. It didn't feel good. So I was over. I've taken a break. You've taken a break. But yeah. She described like, you know, men are very fuck. I forget it's like women need a lot of time. It takes like, it takes us like 45 minutes to be like fully aroused. And then, but our response to arousal is like, guys are, guys are quick. Guys are like visually aroused. And women are more like, um, situationally aroused. Makes sense to me. Yep. And so I think maybe like, I could just not want to fuck it all. And if I just see tits, I'll be like, wait, I actually want to fuck really badly. Like in like 30 seconds. Totally. So I think instead of being in an argument and somebody shows you your tits, like, you win. Yeah. Please. Please. Please. Instantly, I've lost all my power. I think she has to like really turn on the porny element. So instead of being like, do you want to have sex? Just suddenly be like in a nurse, like in a maid's outfit or just rub his dick. Okay. You know what I mean? Like, you know, like, I like, like, yeah, what is a nice, that's a great question. What is initiating? Is it just like, okay, do you want to fuck real fast? You know what I mean? Like, do you count that as initiating? Or do you kind of do something? Like, whether it's an outfit or it's like suggest a little touching, maybe a little like, you know, being hot about it. That's a good point. Like how are you initiating is interesting. And then try and I think like when you initiate it feeling different is kind of cool to try something else. Lord knows I have my, you know, like I've said before on the podcast, there was some of the years I probably fucked the most. My dick worked the least because I was like so it was just an addiction thing. Have I done some beating off while the woman's there? I've done plenty of that. You know what I mean? It's like they can do some of that. Like mix it up, make him not let him not in different ways, try something different. You initiating is already enough of a departure where I'm like, you know, suck him. Let's jerk him off suck his dick. You know what I'm saying? Do some tics. Yeah. Play with his dick. What do you think? What do you fucking play with your tits? Whatever. Do something different. It's easy to get a man to not. It's basically my point. For her, it's a problem that he's not nutting. Trying you nutting strategy. Yeah, I think you're already being more proactive in initiating. Be proactive in getting him to bust his load. Yeah. And you know what? This is really corny, but there's a Gwyneth Paltrow like Netflix thing where it's like all about sexuality and they have different experts experts on. And it was kind of fun because there was just shit that I was like, I would have never thought to do that or it like seems corny to do. But then after watching it, I was like, well, we should like try one of these things, you know? So it's like maybe get a feather. And like a feather. It's kind of fun or like blindfold. Yeah, some classics. Switch it up. And exactly, especially if you're in a rut, it takes so little to make it feel fresh. Yeah. You know what I mean? So yeah, get, keep, this is good that you're doing this. Turn up the creativity just one more notch and I feel like your, your, your problem might already be solved because it sounds like this is more your problem than his. And she's like, can we talk about it? I guess you could talk about it. You could just say like, I notice every time I initiate because basically what you've done, you listen to some feedback and you change the way you behave. That's important. You've done what you need to do. So he opened up the dialogue. You can keep it going. You're like, Hey, is there something you want to try whenever I initiate? Yeah. And then you might even have the answer. So keep at it, sister. We believe in you. Yeah. What else we got? Hey, hey, Eldis. I'm calling today to get some advice on an estranged parent situation. So for context, I didn't know who my real dad was for the first 21 years of my life. I'm 24 now and he contacted me about three years ago and we talked over the phone and then person and everything like that. And there's no doubt that he is my dad. We look almost identical. But for the first two years of this kind of like on again, off again relationship, he was a pretty bad alcoholic. And so every time I talked to him, he was drunk. But within the last year, he has gotten sober and we did try kind of rekindling the relationship. But it got to be kind of overwhelming for me. We are seeing each other on kind of a weekly basis and he started kind of calling me almost every single day. And that would usually take upwards to about an hour. This is insane. Fuck this guy. I didn't return his last two phone calls and that was about six, seven months ago. And he hasn't tried reaching out since. And there's I don't know. I've started to feel kind of a guilt and not reaching out because I don't necessarily even know how much I want to have a relationship with him. He seems like an okay guy. Just kind of does he? But I know for him, there's more of a sense of urgency because he's in his mid sixties. He was a pretty bad alcoholic for the past decade and he's, you know, had a heart attack and some health scares and he has squandered another relationship with a strange child, his daughter. And I've talked to her. I mean, the fact that he doesn't really want anything to do with him. The fact that he's eligible to squander multiple children tells you a little bit about the guy, but is there more eldest? Yeah, I don't know. It's just been it's been very funky. And should I set my feelings aside and try and have a relationship with him, even if it doesn't necessarily feel authentic, but just, you know, for his own sake towards maybe the end of his life or should I just be blunt and, you know, say like, hey, you're essentially a stranger to me. I had the father ship son is pretty much sailed, you know. But yeah, any advice that y'all have on how you navigate kind of a funky situation like this would be greatly appreciated. Love the show. Y'all take care. Bye bye. Nice. Great guy. This guy is. I have lots of thoughts. Please. So I think, first of all, he's biologically he's your dad, but he wasn't in your life. So you don't owe him anything. However, if you do, if you genuinely feel like you want to have a relationship with him, you are more than entitled. But if you only feel like you have to do that because you kind of like set it up where you're meeting with him weekly and now you feel guilty that you're not, you don't need to feel guilty about that. No guilt. I think, especially with an alcoholic, if you do want to continue to have a relationship, I think start off with monthly, a monthly call and make sure the call is before like four PM, you know, before he starts getting soft. Yeah. And then you can kind of gauge based on that, how you're feeling. Yeah. I mean, you hit it on the head with a lot of the stuff. What I was thinking to is like, you owe this person absolutely nothing. Yeah. I mean, he literally abandoned you as a baby. Like, I can't think of a more this guy. You don't owe a person anything set up than my estranged father finally started feeling some guilt for the heinous thing he did to me as a baby. And now he desperately wants to reconnect, but also not that bad because you missed two calls and then he just stopped. Yeah. Clearly, whatever you were doing was too unhealthy. I mean, you see, he didn't say he called him. He said he saw him once, which is like, I don't see my fucking in my mid 20. And here's the other thing. You're in a period of your life where you don't really see your like mid 20s might be the time you least see your family. Like when I was from like 20, you know, four to like 30, I saw my parents the least because I was like, I'm on my I have my own shit to do. I'm free. That's when you're figuring out your life. I probably overdid it. Like I was dealing with my I was dealing with family issues and I was like, I don't want to see these fucking people right now. I need to figure out my own shit. You are you. What happened was you were on the regular path of a fucking person and you were about to go into a very independent like phase of your life. And then some fucking truly a stranger, more for his benefit than yours. Clearly, this is selfish on his part. Reached out to you. And like Ali said, the amount of relationship you want to have with him is completely your choice. If it's if what you're saying is I don't actually want to see this guy at all, you're totally fine. And you're like, but I feel bad as other kid doesn't. It's like, that's his fault. Yeah, he could have been in your life. He could have he could have left, but sent some money back, sent a card every once in a while. You're saying you had a non existent relationship with him. And if if he fucked things up with you, that's not your fault at all. And I think particularly at this point in your life, if you feel the need to just be completely and not talk to him at all, I don't even think you owe him like closure or anything. This is the rare time I'll say like this. This person left you as a fucking baby, bro. You know, you don't feel bad because you don't face time him once a week as a 25 year old, just because he's had a heart attack or whatever. I think he was clearly using you in an unhealthy way, talking to you to meeting up once a week, like especially after he got sober. Reaching out to you while he's still drunk is kind of a weird move to like it would be one thing if he was like, hey, I got my life together. I'm ready to have a relationship. I'm so, so fucking sorry, whatever. And now I want to be here for as much as you need. I don't get the vibe that that's what that's how he approached it. I think he was like, well, hey, son, I love you know, maybe I'm projecting. I'm reading too much into it. But the answer is you feel no guilt. You you completely decide how this goes. And and that's pretty much it. I don't think this person needs to be in your life. Only he's only in your life. It's additive to you. If you feel like it's a burden. Cut him. You can cut him completely out and you're totally within your rights to do that. And the responsibility is like fully on him. So it really is like up to him to call you if, you know, you don't have any responsibility to like make an effort to have a relationship unless you want to. But also you can pull kind of a reverse uno situation where maybe you get really close to him and then you go, oh, I'm going to go get cigarettes. And then you just block. Wait right here, pop. Yeah, I'll be right back. I'll be right back. Stick with him. I love that idea. Yeah. And by the way, you can also decide the exact relationship you want and be like, here are my terms. Yeah. Call me once a month. I'll see you in person twice a year. That's as much as I'm interested in. And if he's like, what kind of you're like, I will fucking see you. Yeah. Yeah, this can't be a drain on you, particularly at this point in your life. And you might you might get older and you might decide you might mellow out whatever he might be. He might feel like less of a burden. And this this can all evolve. The important thing is it's up to you. That's the thing to completely remember. This is totally up to you. Any right that he had to be an equal participant in your relationship, he gave up when he just completely walked out on you for the first 21 years of your life. So yeah, whatever. Fuck him. Next question, Elvis. Hey, stop, Elvis and esteemed guest. I got a quick, cute one for you. So I work as in as an HVAC technician. So I'm in and out of people's houses and and is all day long. I fucking work for shut up, bitch. Now go ahead. Oh, I fucking I'm in and out of people's houses. Who fucking cares? Now go ahead. And I've been trying to get back into the dating scene a little more now that I kind of feel like I'm starting to get my shit together a little bit. Anyway, my question for you is one of ethics. Am I allowed to hide in the house? And pretend make noise, pretend somebody was robbing her and that I fought him off and hope that she sees me as her hero and lets me fuck? No. Go ahead, Elvis. Typically the ethics of hitting on a woman in her own home or in her workplace. Come on, man. You know the answer to this in her own home has been like off limits, you know, unless you're unless comes out in the night town, you know, and like it was going to have to be like screamingly in your face, obvious. And then I feel like there's a little bit more leeway on the on the business end in a workplace. I would love to hear your thoughts, though. This guy's awesome. Love the show. This guy's hilarious. The general rule is like, no, but general rules are also like there's always exceptions. But even if it's what I would say is all right, he's a he said he's like an what is he like? HAC. HAC, yeah. So look, if you have some building that you go for monthly maintenance and you've struck up a over a long period of time, you have struck up a rapport with some lady that works there and she kind of puts a little hint out of like, oh, you ever been to this place? It's so far. Like you can take a really, really calculated risk. Maybe if you have some kind of like general rapport with someone. And even that's when what you're risking, by the way, is it is incredibly unprofessional is my is like, but we all know how humanity is messy. Attraction is messy, whatever. People have definitely that's happened before. If you have it like that. Are you swagged the fuck out to that degree? I don't know because the answer is the blanket answer and on paper, I'm saying no, you don't hit on a woman in her home. Obviously you don't hit on her, especially if it's like you and her and she you're a maintenance guy. You know how fucking weird that is? It's just you and her in her fucking house and she's like trusting you to fix something and you hit on that's and you and you even bring the idea of like assault in her own home into her head. That's fucking insane. I agree. It's I guess slightly better at the workplace, but that's also incredibly unprofessional. You're doing your job. Like what you're risking is your professionalism and on top of being a fucking creep. So I would say the blanket advice is no. And then like, I guess, like I said, the only scenario I could see that it's even sort of OK is like you've been servicing this place for a year. Each month, this woman like makes a makes it a point to talk to, you know what I mean? Like, but even then, I just can't see this being a good idea. And it's like, no, and look for that. Here's the problem. The person that this would work out for is someone who's like, desperately doesn't want to do this. You know what I mean? The guy who actually ends up going on a date with someone is the guy who's like, you know, no, thank you. You know what I mean? Like who's the fact that you're thinking about this means it will never work. Actually, the more I'm batted around, that's my answer. Yeah, you want this so bad that there's no way it's not a bad idea and it's not going to be creepy if you do it. So yes. No. I'm sorry. I talked a long time. What do you think? No, I think that's all super valid. I completely agree. I think, yeah, like like being the woman in the situation and like, well, there's there's another part to it. What do you look like? Right? How hot are you? Let's be honest. Assessment. Do you look like you work in HVAC or, you know, do you look like you were working HVAC in like a lifetime movie? Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Because I do think if you are good looking, of course, the odds are more in your favor. Good looking blue collar guy. I could see a specific fantasy existing for certain women. Totally. Yes. But I think, yeah, in general, I think you're right. I do think the tactic and sorry to sound like a perv, but I do think a tactic could even be to be so disinterested in the woman that it does end up working out for you, even if it's not genuine to who you are. But I also think, yeah, keep it. Don't don't make any moves. Because then if I'm the woman, I'm like, you know, he knows where I live. And now I have to be nice to him so he doesn't murder, right? Me and like, you know, right. And that's the other thing are the signs you're reading fear. But I think like if you are getting like such a strong sense that someone is into you and you're like, undoubtedly this woman is so into me, then I think just giving them the option to be like, oh, and by the way, like on your business card, just be like, here's my personal number. If you need anything. Yeah. If you ever need it. That way it's not like overtly, like if you want to get dicked down, but like in here's my personal number. Of course. There you go. Moving on. Bye. Bye. Yes. I think the only again, it'll never work for you because you want it. And it's not like because he didn't say there's this lady at this fucking accounting firm and she's so cute and she's all it's just women in general. He's just like, maybe someday a woman will want to fuck me at the job. And it's like, no, that's if you're worried about that. But yes, I think it's the best case is just look outside of that. This doesn't seem to the fact that this is just a purely theoretical question means the answers. No. Yeah. If there was some real like, here's the situation. Can I do this? Then it's different. But yeah, good point about the are they being nice to you because they don't want you to kill them? Well, because then too, it's like if if I'm the woman of the home and you're like being a fucking creep, you know what? This could be a good business strategy because I would never want to fire you because you know where I live and you're a pervert. So now it's like, great, he has to come every single month. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should be like, I actually don't want air conditioning anymore. Thanks. Yeah. All right. How about a nice one to take us home, Eldis? Hi, Stavi, Eldis and guests. Huge fan of the show for some caller. This is a super random question. And I don't really know if it's a problem or not, but I just would like some advice from a guy who loves big tips. So I've been in a relationship for about eight or nine months now. Love my boyfriend so much. Beautiful. Our relationship is really awesome. And everything is great, except the one thing is that he is a tit man, which I have never dated anyone who has been like a boob guy because I have like no boobs. Unfortunately, they're just. So tomatoes at her. Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you. You're calling. You're wasting our fucking data. Generally, they're just small. I they're perfectly nice. They're just small. I have a nice bad ass, but nice. It just it all went there. So nothing wrong with that. I don't really know how to navigate this because I know that all his exes had big boobs and I just don't know how to not feel like a little bit insecure. And I don't know if that's something that I should like bring up with him or if I should keep that to myself. Don't break it. And I don't know. How do you feel about this is interesting as a guy who like hilarious generally seems to like big ones? Yeah, I don't know. I've been up against this. I just would like some advice, but the band and secure. But also, I know that he loves me, so I just don't really know what to do. Yeah. Thank you so much. Love the show. Well, I do hate that she's going through this. Yeah. But I will say this is the closest I think a woman can come to feeling what it's like to have a little ass dick and know that somebody you slept with like like you she's, you know, the last guy she was with had a huge digress. You know what I mean? Even though she like there is something in the back of your head where you will feel inadequate a little bit, even though it's stupid, right? It's the classic. It's become a hack at this point where people say boyfriend dick or or you've got the perfect dick. Like that idea has been around now probably like five, 10 years in comedy. But it is a real thing where you don't want to hear, you know, oh, another hack thing like from memes like, oh, the big ones hurt. You know, I mean, like I love you. But it is true. Yeah. But and I do know and that is true. I do know women who swear and I believe them that they like a little ass penis. But so for you, though, speaking from experience here, I think. I mean, I don't think guys would put up with something they didn't like. I feel like guys are very blessed in the sense that they only for the most part do what they want to do. Like guys don't have the woman thing of like, well, I don't want to upset anyone. Like I'll do it even though I don't want to. Guys are very much like, I'm not interested. I don't want that. Plenty of cowards will. Sure. But I think on a sexual level, eight months, nine months, girlfriend, boyfriend, if he really did not like your little ass titties, he wouldn't be with your little ass titties. Yes, I agree with you. And I also think like, yeah, OK, I talk about how much I love big ass titties. I also love little titties. That's the thing. In fact, you know, I love I like fucking girls with little. I'd like fucking, you know, all types of different gals. But I've had that problem where I've met someone and like or something like I'll be at a show or somebody like, you know, I was going to send you nudes, but I know you don't like little tits. And I was like, what? I would have fucked you, lady. And she's like, she's like, you know, before I met my boyfriend, I really wanted to go with you. But I have little and it's like that is a weird thing where women have said that to me. It's like, first of all, you think it's like you're a hot woman who's like self conscious because your tits are small, but you're hot as shit. It's like you're beautiful. He likes you. He loves you. He also wasn't under the impression when you first met that you had big tits. Right. Right. You didn't sneak your little tits onto him. But yes, I think this is a complete like and I get it. People are always going to be worried about their body. Like I said, I've had that worry of like my fucking shit too small. You know what I mean? Like of my like it's funny because it's never been about my body, even though I've been fat my whole life. I've never been like, am I too fat to fuck this woman? So I was like, my little ass dip too small. It's regular, by the way. Everybody relaxed, nor it's not that fucking small. But you're fine. And I think this is just like it's just body image stuff. It's just like women are told their bodies are bad in a hundred different ways. Yeah, I also think it's normal, like pattern recognition. I think like, yeah, if you're like, OK, big tits, big tits, big tits. I think if anything, like look at it as a sign of like he's done with that. Like he might still like them, which is fine. But like he's had enough and he wants to move on to your tiny little tits in your big heart. Yes, exactly. And not even he's done with that, but it's like your relationship transcends those things. Yeah. Right. Because it's like not to be corny, but that's the truth of there are different relationships where it's like, yeah, sometimes it's about pure physical attraction. And if you don't, I think people who have a real type, no matter what, are kind of sociopaths or like, I don't fuck anybody who doesn't look like this. It's like, well, then you're not looking for a person. You want to fuck a thing. You want an object. You want. Yes. And so I think real relationships, oftentimes people end up with people they never would have thought. Yeah, because the attraction is so much it exists on a in a higher plane than pure physical attraction. So I would see this actually as a good thing, as a sign of an even more powerful connection. Yeah. And I think like as a girl who's like kind of crazy and jealous, like, yeah, I think the more you can just be confident in yourself and not bring it up. The idea that you're like, Mo is fucking so much pussy. Yeah. Yeah. It's the nicest, most mild mannered would never cheat guy I've ever met in my life. You never know. You never know. I'll be home tomorrow, babe. Make sure the house is clean. You guys don't even I'm so fucking crazy. Yeah, like when I get home after I've been gone for a while, I'll like look in the shower to see if any of the products are moved slightly. You put markers on all the girls body wash. Bathing his horse with my saint Ives or whatever the fuck. But yeah, I think try not to be like me and just be chill and don't be like Ali. Know that you're cool with your little boobs and that's fun and cute. Yeah. Yeah. You're doing great. You're really overthinking this, I promise. But good luck to you. I think you're going to do great. Ali, thank you. We look forward to more updates. I can't wait to hear how Lara's own it goes. Oh, yeah. I you know, keep us abreast. If you in the finger, whichever, you know, reconnect, rekindle. Yeah. If she ever gets a standalone property to finger women in, let us know. And yeah, go see Ali live. You know, we're on tour right now, probably. Last tour started. I want to go back. We'll bring you back. Please bring it back for a week. This is this tour is going to be a little weirder. It's not the whole run, but we'll bring you back. Actually, we'll definitely bring back on some. And we have some weird casino gigs that are. Yeah. So we'll bring it. We'll bring in a couple of those. Um, all right, that's going to do it for us, guys. Thank you. And we will talk to you next week. Bye bye.