Ryan is A "Psycho", Cj & Bens Inheritance, & Ken Hates His Gifts

Jack wrapping his Tesla and Lightning McQueen is the equivalent of me getting a bowl cut. Would you do the Bachelor, Ken? A Bachelor that's actually here for love. How do you feel about it? I feel awful about it because I know there's going to be some other kind of twist that gets thrown into it. How can I get out of having to perform? Maybe, what if I blow up my Corvette? Was there something else we wanted to talk to Jack about? There is. It wasn't looking good for you, Jack. Did you guys hear my Kelvin story last night? Well, I mean, is it kosher to share on the pod? Kelvin, your cousin? We were in a different area code. Friends, birthday last night. I thought the same thing. The one thing I love about getting together on a birthday is the congregation of it. But when you're at a table as long as we were at... Are we live right now? We roll many. Don't be a noob, bro. When we start talking, we're typically live. Okay, okay. But yeah, we were pretty far down the table from you. Maybe you want to wait for your cousin Calvin to get back here? I don't know if he wants to hear this story. I kind of ruined his night by telling him. He's on the shooter now. You can tell it quick before he gets here. Long story short, my grandpa, who is getting older, not Grandpa Ron, other grandpa, he's looking at his will or something. I don't know the context of it, but for some reason he put CJ on his will as Calvin, which is CJ's biological, CJ James, his legal name. Nobody ever calls him Calvin. Like, since he was born, I don't think he's just always gone by CJ, right? What if he was ever Calvin when he got in trouble? Yeah, like, Calvin! My grandpa looking at his will was like, who the hell is Calvin? And he made some calls and got Calvin taken off. Oh, no. So CJ got removed from the will? Yeah. Holy shit. Damn, I wonder what he did to deserve that. Well, it was a miscommunication from the sounds of it. He changed his name, apparently. Well, no, and then my grandpa was telling this to Jeff, CJ's dad. Yeah. And he was like, that's CJ. He's like, oh. Oh, he's fine. Yeah. He's like, well, it was a lot of work to get him off, so we'll figure that out later. Oh, shit. So CJ got removed from the will? I told CJ this last night, and I think I kind of ruined his night. Are you on the will? I think I was kicked off, too. He was like, who the hell is Benjamin? For other reasons. Well, if Kelvin's getting the boot. well if i'm going through all this work of kicking people off he removes everyone from the will except for i don't know who got to stay actually i think everyone but cj and everyone but cj and you by the sounds of it i'd be bummed but don't you you guys get something right that he's been telling you guys for a bunch of bunch of years his parrot or something his animals yeah rip actually oh yeah so my grandpa it was the one that had the house fire three years ago at this point his house burnt down and in his house he had a parrot rip mango mango was his name but parrots lived to a hundred years old very long time and mango was like 45 years old oh shit so he was just getting started mango had a lot of life left and the joke in the family was always if grandpa passes away who gets mango and every everyone was in agreeance that it only made sense that cj and i would get mango yeah shared custody i don't know if mango is going to be a shop pet or or what and so the issue with it is mango was kind of a douche yeah wasn't he kind of a dick wasn't he a biter he was a biter and he had a mouth on him foul he would have got along well here actually but held his own he'd walk in and he'd be like hello motherfucker really yeah what how do you teach a pair i guess Parrots learn how to swear just as easy as normal. Nikki's mom has two parrots, and they're actually moving. So I'm currently inheriting a parrot. Oh, wow. You are. Wow. And how do you feel about that? Oh, I'm thrilled. I bet. All right, well, that's good, Ev. I bet. What's your parrot's name? Oh. He doesn't even know. I should know. So actually, we are getting the cool one. They have two. One's like a green one. It's a little smaller. That one's pretty chill. I'll actually let him run around on me. He'll sit on my hat and hang out. And then the other one only likes Nicky, Nicky's mom, Nicky's sister, other than that. He'll just bite you, and it hurts. I mean, he's like twice the size. I don't know. Yep. That's how Mango was. Mango was green and orange, but he wasn't allowed out of the cage. Really? Yeah. He was. He'd walk around. He had his wings. Maybe just when people weren't over there. When guests were around, it's like a bad dog that you put up in the garage. Sorry to hear about the will. Oh, you guys talked about that? Yeah, I did. I told them. Because they were on the other end of the table. They didn't hear the story last night. Yeah, shoot, I missed it. How do you feel about being removed from the will? It can't be good. Yeah, it's kind of funny. I can see why people think it's funny. Yeah, it does kind of feel weird because it's like everyone else is getting something, and I guess I'm not. I don't know. I don't know if I am either. I think I was kind of roped in with you. He started making calls, and he was like, well, if I'm kicking one off, I'm kicking them both. I picture you guys like you don't want to be too pushy about it. Like, hey, I hope it was just a mistake. We'd love to get back on. But if you're too pushy, he's like, what's done is done. I just want him to do whatever he wants to do. I don't really care. I mean, it's his money. I think he can do whatever he wants with it. If he wants to light it on fire, do it, dude. It's your money. You earned it. I don't deserve anything. You know? Like, I mean, that's the truth. No one's entitled to anything. That is true. And so that's how we got on the subject of Mango is that he was thinking about getting another bird? He did get another bird, apparently. He did get another bird. Yeah, and this was news as of pretty recently. So, yeah, I don't know where that one's going, if it needs to be relocated one day. We could build, like, a really big cage in here, and then if Evan's bad, we could lock him up in the cage. That's not a bad idea. Between their beaks and their claws, they can cause some damage. Yeah, they can. I've seen many bloody fingers from these birds. Are they stinky? I don't think they smell good. Are they loud? Yes. Very loud. I would say they smell as much as a normal bird. Years ago, for some reason, I had a couple of parakeets living in my house. Also incredibly stinky. You have a zoo? I had snake. None of these animals were ever me. It was always who was living at my house was deciding it was good to have. One had a snake, and then we had some parakeets there. but i'd compare them all to like rabbits hamsters birds they all kind of have that same stank you know what doesn't stink is snakes yeah you're right they don't really stink i was surprised by that when i was holding the one that uh you had brought here for that video itself i feel you but i feel like overall its habitat again it probably does get stinky yeah but uh after that i was low-key like it'd be kind of cool having a snake it would eventually kind of wear off on me so i don't want to get one but the more so the shock factor i like the idea of like you come to my house and i have a big six seven foot boa constrictor yeah it would definitely have shock factor to it a free roam yeah not free roam but like that's the thing like i just would feel bad keeping them in a little container like what kind of life is that i think you should do it just just buy it ken and i think you should hang my samurai sword on your wall but i guess we both have two different opinions. It's getting hung tomorrow. Okay. I went over to Ken's house this weekend and Samurai Sword was in the box. In the closet. Tucked away on the top shelf. He did pull it out to show the guests, which was cool, I thought. That's how I found out it was in the closet. Did you cut anything with it? Like meat and cheeses? No, no. Just took it out, swung it around a little bit, and then put it back. As you do. As all good Samurai owners do. Yeah, so I had a birthday party last night and we all went out to dinner thanks for coming boys appreciate that welcome uh but at the end of the dinner i look at the end of the table and desserts are coming out and uh spenny got a massive cake that's what i wanted at first i got the cake and everybody's like oh banana cake oh that's kind of whack well no no everybody was hating on it you said you were sitting there next to evan you're like i'm looking for a banana cream pie um and you go And you go, does that come with nuts as well? Like he's asking the waitress this. And Evan goes, I got that back at the shop for you, Spenny. And I was like, so then, you know, Spenny orders that. And then I'm sitting there. I'm going back and forth between that and this chocolate peanut butter one. No, my kid comes out and CJ's eyes just light up. I'm talking about. He's locked in on this thing coming all the way to the table. And CJ is a man that has immediate buyer's remorse. Well, everything he purchases, right? So he gets the chocolate cake. As soon as he says, I'll take the chocolate cake, oh, fuck, I should have got the banana cream. Well, you guys are jumping ahead. If you want to jump ahead. Before I ordered, I asked the waitress, I go, which one should I get, the chocolate peanut butter one or this banana? I want to know, is this, like, more chocolatey than peanut buttery? or is it, like, because I want, I like peanut butter, but I don't like things super chocolatey. And I was in the wrong for asking if mine had nuts on it. No, I'm not saying that part. We were just saying it's not about that. We were just cracking, like, it's funny you said banana cream pie, and then you ask her, but does it have nuts? You're asking for the full package, as in, you know, if you can use your imagination. But, yeah, so anyway, she talked me into getting this chocolate one, and told me about how peanut buttery it is. So I'm like, oh, I like peanut butter. But I was literally so close to getting what Spenny was going to get. So it comes out. Thing's just the darkest chocolate thing ever. Like, just a hint of peanut butter. I was just like, all right, well, this sucks. And I'm looking over at Spenny. I'm looking over at Spenny, what I wanted. And he's just looking happy as a clam. You're like, somebody took that away from you. No, nobody did. How's that cake looking across the table, too? It looked amazing. It's huge. So I walk over. I walk over. I'm like, Spenny, could have a... But before you came, Spenny's already eyeing this up, and me and Ken are already getting 20s out, trying to get Spenny to house this cake with no hands. He's just going to use his face. Yeah. Which that would be funny, and that is where you kind of roll at at this point. Yeah, so I come walking in. I don't really know why you guys have money out and you're putting it down 20. How about 60? How about, you know, the money's stacking up on the table. Spenny's looking at this giant piece of cake. And I go up to him. I go, Spenny, could I have a little bite? because I want to find out what I missed out on. I just want a little bite. CJ, I see some betting going on across the table. Sprints over there. No, not that part. I didn't really know. So I take a bite, and then I'm walking away, and Spenny apparently turned down all the money, and Evan goes, CJ, for $100, would you eat that with your hands? And I go, absolutely. I said no utensils, which I messed up because what we really wanted to see is face plant in the plate. But honestly, what you did was about just as good. So I said absolutely. And no one ever offers me more than 50 cents to do anything. So I was like, I'm taking up on this. So I walked over, grabbed that whole piece of cake with my hands in the nicest restaurant in the area and just started eating it right there. Yeah, it caught the scene. Well, as soon as CJ starts doing this, I'm out filming it. My flash is on. And we're just dying laughing because at this point, CJ is like double fisting the piece of cake at the end of the table. Over top of my lap. shoving his face. It was a big-ass piece of cake. It was a big-ass piece of cake. So shoving his face full of it, and then it was pretty much like a spectacle to see if he could finish it, which he couldn't. He couldn't do it. And then he gave the money back. I think I could have. But, yeah, I did send it back to Evan. He paid when I was making a lot of progress. He just paid me because he's like, he's going to do it. And, honestly, I could have. I was sitting there. I was like, God, I'm going to be sick. You already enjoyed the cake. I'm sick. I just wanted a little bite, and I was like, ah, here you go, Spenny. I gave it back to him. I was too far away at the end of the table, but was there, perchance, a little bit of negative energy coming from the women? No, I don't think so. It sounded like some were not very happy about it. Not impressed with our childhood. They didn't like it. I didn't think it was that aggressive. That was hardly anything compared to what we normally do. Oh, we're so... I think it caught them off guard a little bit. He just felt really bad for Svenny's cake getting deleted. Yeah, and I did hear somebody... Not necessarily for the scene. I heard people down there saying, is that really his whole cake and CJ's just eating it? What's Benny going to do if he can't have his cake? And I was just sitting there laughing. I was like, I don't care. I'll order him a new one. It'll be out in one minute. It was $11. And then I did offer to get you another one, but you're like, no, no, I'm good. And then I gave him the other half back and you ate it? The half-eaten slab that had fingerprints all over it. And I did offer to give him a new one. And then I paid for it anyways in the end. I did love, I loved Evan's reaction when you caught just a peripheral of CJ using silver, because at that point he had given up or across the table. I was cutting it for a mark. I was giving it to him. Anyway, he laid some utensil into it. Venmo me back. Send it back. Send it back. Send it back. Because I'm looking at my phone and I'm like, I'm a man of my word. I'm going to send him his hundred bucks. And in the time I look at my phone for 30 seconds, set it down and said like Venmo confirmed. I look up and here he is going into it with a fork. I was pretty upset. Here's the thing, though. Like, it was like almost not worth you paying me $100 over. Like, I felt like it was very anticlimactic. I didn't feel like I earned the $100. So, like, I don't know. It just didn't. It wasn't like something I was proud about taking $100 off you. So I was happy to honestly just give it back. And it was more so just to get some laughs. It was more so just to get some laughs from the boys, which it did. You did definitely get some laughs from me. And it kind of spiced up the dinner, made it a little bit funnier and more fun. Just an entertainer. Yeah. Dude, I think my favorite part of the whole ordeal was as soon as you started eating it with your hands and Evan watching in enjoyment, he was so happy that someone took the deal. He goes, now this is good investing. That's what he considers investing. That's what he calls investing. He's investing in a good time. I go, you calling this an investment makes a lot more sense of your financial situation. I kind of thought maybe our antics in restaurants would speed up our time. I figured that restaurants would want to get us out of there and make us skedaddle being recosent. But fuck, we were there for like four hours. I know. I'm so overeating out at restaurants because it takes so goddamn long. I don't know. It's about your birthday dinner. Yeah. I'm happy to do whatever you want to do, but goddamn, we were there for four hours. It was too long. I don't know. I had other plans, and then I had to cancel those, basically. It's like, what the hell were you planning? It was going to be either 9 or 9.30. No, it's just like it shouldn't have been that long. It should be like two hours max at a restaurant. But some of these places need to speed it up. Problem is, we're going places with like 20 people. That's valid. Accommodate for 20 is kind of an undertaking. I was trying to go home and watch TV and shit before I had to go to bed. Are you holding back on saying euphoria? Well, Euphoria. And I'm watching the new Hulk Hogan doc on Netflix. It's pretty good. Or go play Xbox. I don't know. Just some other shit rather than sit at a restaurant. Anything other than celebrate Ben's birthday. We celebrated. We're sorry, bro. I didn't know it was that bad. Your birthday's worth three hours max. No, I got it. Not four. Give it two and a half. Whoa, just the man that we were looking to see. What did I do now? Every time Jack sits there, he's like, oh, fuck. You want to go pop a squat on that couch? So you guys would have already seen it at this point, but tug of war. Yeah. It wasn't looking good for you, Jack. Well, I think we pulled it off. I think we did exactly what we were supposed to do, and you shouldn't have doubted my team. The rope snapped. The rope was not supposed to snap. I was surprised by that. That was the one thing I didn't expect. That was crazy. I walked away from that thing with an injury because of the rope. Did you hurt Ken? You hurt Ken. That's not that surprising. Ken's been hurt more doing less. He's got a skinned elbow right now. He's skinned his elbow. And his ankle. Oh, he has a small skin mark on his ankle as well. Honestly, for a valid reason, but last night, Ken at dinner was rubbing his legs. He goes, oh, so sore. And I'm like, assuming he hit leg day since he does that often. He goes, no, from pulling. Was it? Were you guys sore? I wasn't. I felt fine. I was. Valid point, though. Like, every time that we were pulling a vehicle, like, I wasn't doing the pulling, but you guys were. You're pulling. like as hard as you we did go down like a ton of bricks though when we were pulling in that rope snap it was like like everyone went down quick i didn't go down yeah it's because you were not holding on the rope yes benny was the first guy to be out of the prance off i didn't it wasn't even a prance i just the picture i knew it was going i knew the rope was snapping and i was just out of there i wasn't trying to hang on to a breaking rope that was one of my favorite video bitch we filmed in a long time just solely based off of how intriguing it was i had a lot of fun that was one of the most fun i've had filming for sure did the energy you just get you just get a hundred people that are stoked around it's just so fun having a bunch of people cheering and whatnot it was just fun to get a bunch of random people together yeah i feel like we could have like gone into town and like ransacked the village with a hundred people like you could move you could do anything you can move some of the buildings in town true pick them up and move them down a couple blocks flip a couple cars that's not a bad idea like the next time we have like a hundred of our subscribers give or take something we should just do something that you could only do with you have a hundred people i think we should do a human chain from our shop to zorba's and then we like chinese fire drill a pizza right into my tummy or hand a beer down or something i like that i think we use the same exact crew that i got the first time too because they were so successful yeah so So when the people started showing up, I guess for the people that haven't watched the video, we did man versus machine, and we wanted to see in a tug of war how many big men it took to stop varying different vehicles, starting with a golf cart, then a mini truck, and then Ryan's Z06, and then our drift truck, the Ford Ranger, the Dually Ford Ranger, and then Mike's big-ass Ram truck, and then ending with a bulldozer. I love how it's now just known as Mike's big-ass truck. Well, it's got the fucking like seven different syllables to it. The prospector. A-R-V. Yeah, whatever. Mega. So anyway, we had 100 people come out and Jack was responsible for getting the people here. And so we're like, okay, make this post out. Thousands and thousands of people sign up for it. So we got a huge list to go through, right? And it was pretty much solely based off of how heavy these people were. like if they were going to be like strong enough guys pick the best yeah picking the best right to go hold back mike's big ass truck so in doing so we're like all right you know we got people's heightened weights and in ages and everything and and we're trying to put together like a list of big specimens of humans and uh we hit the intro and we walk up and start meeting the people showing up and the first person we met had a broken hand the second person we met was 14 years old and then The third person we met was a woman. Not anything against women. We were just, you're expecting, we're expecting linemen. 180 pounds to 200 pound men. You know, someone at minimum about 180 pounds, full grown man. You know, that's what we were expecting, which turns out we didn't even need. But yeah, we were a little worried at first. We're thinking, Jack, we wanted 100 full grown men. If you're going to cast women and children, we're going to need 300. Well, people on the Google sheet, in my defense, I'll pop it up on the screen. They lie. Dude, they were all 180 to 250. They knew what to say. Like all of them. They knew what to say. I also filtered it 150 plus pounds and then also over 18, of course, too. And so a couple got through the cracks. Yeah, and even keep in mind, like 150 isn't, you know, I think that's a great place to start. but like 150 isn't let's still like 12 pounds lighter than me no for sure not big at all you'd be surprised but like a lot of the people the majority were not even close to like 150 it was like 150 or less for the majority but yeah no i definitely should have done a little bit more were you pretty worried a little bit right away because being honest like after you did that and and walked back outside, I was like, dang, maybe Ben's right. Like, we got kind of a lot of bunch of... Smaller crowd. Yeah, smaller crowd. But speaking of people... They had strong will. They did. They did. They came with heart. And also, like, speaking of strong will, showing up with some heart, there are some other fellas that lied in the best way possible, and I don't want to encourage this, but I'm asking where everyone's from. They're obviously all from Minnesota, like, pretty close. And they're like, we're from West Virginia. And I was like, what? What? Yeah, 13 hours away. What? Flew here. And then there was also some people from Canada, and they said they were from closer, and I just love the dedication. They were like, dude, we said we were from your area, we got picked, we bought flights, and it was the best decision ever. Like, it was all positive. Like, it was amazing, and they actually didn't flake out. Like, I can't even. Yeah, knock the heart. It was just funny. Like, they're like, yep, this is, like, we made it happen, and we're so stoked. But yeah, they said they were from DL, but. For a lot of people that are, like, real diehard fans, like, just being able to show up here, like, they'll book a flight. Even if you're here for only a few hours, like, what an experience for them. And we maybe don't think of it that way just because we're just kind of in this. Right. I think we're constantly concerned. It was, like, when we're talking about the event and how we're excited for Octane Fest, that we want it to be worth it for everyone. If you travel across the country to meet us, like, I want it to be worth it for you. And sometimes our view of that is skewed. Them getting to meet us and just check out the compound, probably worth a lot. Yeah, we just want to give them a good experience. It's a good lead-in, though, for Octane Fest, though. Yes, it is. I was asking guys, and quite a few of the guys that I asked were like, yeah, I'm definitely going to make it out, which was cool to hear. Yeah, so we announced it about a week and a half ago at this point. But we are hosting our own event. It's called Octane Fest in collaboration with BIR Raceway, which is the track in Brainerd, which we've been to for a video before. And then Chris Forsberg, who is bringing all the talent with the drifting and the entertainment factor with all the cars. So this event is essentially replacing what we've done for the last six years by going to the Hay Days event that we would go to. And it was like the only meet-and-greet experience that we'd have kind of all year. And, you know, if people were like, oh, I want to meet you guys, we'd be like, oh, come on out to Hay Days. That's the event that we do every year. We're not doing that anymore. We've sat on the podcast before. We just kind of just outgrew it, and we were throwing, like, an event inside of an event. It just didn't make a whole lot of sense anymore moving forward, but we wanted to continue to do some sort of meet-and-greet event, and what made the most sense is if we could just control the entire experience, the entire weekend, and make it more of, like, a spectacle for people to come out to, which was like the biggest thing for heydays. We were just like, oh, I wish that we could do more with this, right? Like people are paying their hard-earned money to come and meet us. I wish that there was just more that they could do, make it like a full immersive Seaboys experience. And so we started talking with BIR and put together this Octane Fest. So essentially what it is is it's an entire weekend event where you can come on out on a Thursday and stay until Sunday. You can camp on the grounds of BIR, you know, bring your camper, bring your tent, whatever, set up in the camping area. And then throughout the weekend, we're going to have drift ride-alongs and just drift competitions. So a bunch of different professional drifters are going to be out there ripping. And then there's going to be autocross going on on the big racetrack. And then there's going to be watercross happening. So snowmobile water skipping, essentially. So all the professionals will be out there doing that. plus CJ. I know. I'm going to have to hit some practice laps or something. I already told Big Ranch we've got to get that thing. We've got to go through it, make sure it's ready to go, because, I mean, the thing was riding on salt water in the ocean. We dialed it in last fall when I drove it on the pond. So it's literally Sherry. I just want to run like a top if I'm going to be competing. And it is ready to go. I've got to practice some turns. Not just going straight. Luis, like, just for the record, I'm not a, like, I'm going against racers. Like, I'm just. I think you might actually be out there alone. I don't know if racers want to be on the same pond. Oh, I probably will be alone because they're going to fucking go super fast, and I'm going to just be trying to turn and, like, I'll just be dilly-dallying out there, but I'm going to do my best. I think in typical Seaboys fashion, there is no practice. There's none of this. You just got to show up. Sure. I'll do that, too. I mean, I'm just letting you know what you want me to do. Do you want me to do good or I'm going to try and do good? I have pitched this so many times. I'm going to try and do good. And then we're also doing a car show. Car and truck show. Yeah, car and truck show. So if you have a Lamborghini, you have a Mazda Miata, or if you have a Mitsubishi Evo. Evo, yeah, for CJ. So any type of car, right? So you can bring your car out for the car show if you get tickets to it. So there's a limited amount of tickets. So if you want to bring your car out, get a ticket to secure your spot. So there's that. And correct me if I'm wrong, when you buy a ticket for the weekend, it also includes camping. Yeah, correct. And that part is huge. Like, you guys, BIR is massive. So there's not, like, going to be a sellout moment. So just get your tickets when you can, but, like, come camp. Is there a VIP camping option? There is. That's sold out. But the free camping option that everyone has access to, it just doesn't have a minute or no water, no power. And we were talking with them, and basically if we get enough people there, they'll have to open up this other section, and they have to plan for it. So ideally, get your tickets in advance, because some stuff, like the car show will sell out. If you have a drift car and you want to drift, that type of stuff sells out. But we're trying to keep GA and camping as open as possible. Plus, Friday night and Saturday night, there will be a concert, which is pretty lit. With an opener by Quad. He's going to be going on stage. I do not want to do so fucking bad. Like, I don't even, I actually just this morning was like, why am I so anxious? And why do I feel like I'm going to throw up? And then it was like, oh, yeah, I have to go on stage after you guys warm up the crowd. Who knows what you're going to tell them to do? Like, what if I get booed off the stage, dude? I don't know if my. I think people are going to love you, dude. They're there to see you. I know. And I'm going to do my best and try to perform. But, bro, I mean, even the best. I'd start practicing, Ryan. I started practicing this. The minute that. Practice your moves. Practice your voice. Yeah. There no auto on that Do you think it safe for me to share my idea with everyone else Ben I don even want to know Is this coming out before that Before what Octane Fest No. Technically, this will be coming out on Thursday, but, I mean, we can share it. You'll see it in this week's video on Thursday. We may have thrown donuts at Ken's Cybertruck. Ken may have gotten upset with us. We may have done it again. And then we may have done it again after that. But Ken was very upset with us, but he has came around. I had an idea after the fact. We will sell donuts for a dollar a donut. Okay. And every donut that we sell is how many seconds Quad has to perform. I'm going to be up there for fucking hours. Ken forgot a key part of this, though. They get to throw the donut at my Cybertruck. Exactly. Every second. So you'd have to sell 60 donuts just for you to do a minute. I think you do a full set list. I don't know about the, what, are you going to cut a song short? I thought I was just going to have to do my hit single, Hammer Heart. One song, Ryan. No. People are paying their money to be here. You're giving a one song? They're paying their fucking money for a DJ or somebody, the headliner. I think you're going to, I mean, the DJ is going to be great, or whoever that we end up getting for the concert, but I don't know if anyone's going to be able to be more entertaining than you up there with your hair spiked up and your makeup on and screaming. I could, like, help you set up, like, a PR stunt, and we could, like, stage somebody that came to, like, riot and take you out. I don't think he's listening. I think he went to sleep. I don't think he's listening. Realistically, we're going to sell thousands of donuts. How many minutes is that? A lot. A lot. Oh, we can make that happen. That's not even that many minutes. Hummer Heart is like three and a half minutes. Which is like 200 donuts. Basement's right. It's like around three and a half as well. Yeah, it's just going to be an awesome event. It's one thing to throw a car show, right? Those are a lot of fun already, but now it's like we're layering so many other just things on top of it from watercross to quad performing to drifting to drift ride alongs to us having a meet and greet to us giving out the golden tickets for certain other things. When I first tried on my Brunt Workwear hoodie, I was blown away from the flexibility and comfort. Because of that, you've probably seen me wear a piece of Brunt Workwear in every podcast episode since then. I'm not wearing them because it's hot outside right now. But hoodies are not all that Brunt has to offer. I personally love wearing the Omen boots because there is no breaking period, and the comfort is amazing right away. 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To get started and learn more, including important and safety information, WGOVI clinical study information and restrictions, visit HIMSS.com. competition it's just going to be a really good time and uh i don't think we could have a better place to be doing it at than bir and then also you know just being able to do it in collaboration with chris forsberg absolute drifting legend yeah actually so so yeah uh cj mentioned it too we're going to be walking around handing out the golden tickets so we're gonna obviously have like evan and mike for the drift ride along part so we're going to just be handing out golden tickets to be able to participate with the boys riding passenger also same thing with autocross hopping in the passenger seat with all the boys and getting to rip some laps around the track and then uh giving out golden tickets at the car show event to people that want to be a part of the burnout competition at the end of the night it's pretty crazy that we're giving out tickets for ride-alongs with me and mike and we literally don't know how to drift i don't think really We don't have to perform on stage. We're in the same boat as Ryan, really. I can swing it around our track, but we've never drove at a different venue. Yeah, I don't think anyone has ever called you guys drifters, though. So it's like they know what they're getting into. If they don't want the golden ticket, then they can go to their buddy. I was joking on it. Also, a legitimate point, but people would be stoked to ride pegs on the back of your bike. Yeah, so we're going to be like bouncing around throughout the weekend to do all these different events. And you guys can pretty much just watch it happen like in real time, as if you're watching a Seaboys video, but in person. Yeah. And maybe even might get selected from the crowd to be in one. Might happen. So all these events are going to be happening like simultaneously throughout the weekend. So it's going to be constant action the entire time. No matter where you're at on the grounds, there's going to be stuff happening. We are essentially just going to be bopping around, participating in these events, and bringing people that come along on the ride. Yeah, the big days are really Friday and Saturday where most of the events are coming down. But you can get in early Thursday camp. You can stay until Sunday. I'm excited for the camping nights, just hitting the campgrounds with everyone. I just looked it up. There's over 200 acres of camping available. That's insane. I'm going to go pitch a tent back there and camp for sure. I bet you will. Not a bad idea. Yeah, a sleeping tent, Ryan. I bet you will, bud. So that's going to be lit. What if, how can I get out of having to perform? Maybe, what if I blow up my Corvette in the burnout pit? That's assuming that it makes it until June. I don't think that thing's going to make it that long. Yeah, dude. That thing smokes every time you start it up. No, actually, I think the tug of war might have taken it out. Like, it smokes constantly now. It's bad. Like, I couldn't even drive it to Ben's dinner. We came over here, and I started up, and it was smoking. And I was like, we can't drive this. Bring that thing to the dealership. You got warranty, don't you? I'm going to this week, and it will actually be the test if warranty works. I don't know if it's like a gasket of sorts, but I've been looking into it, and the oil was overfilled. And that, in conjunction with me driving it aggressively, could have resulted in a cracked block. That's the dealership's fault. They changed your oil. So we'll see on that. I mean, currently, as it sits, it is cooked. But we'll just learn soon how cooked it is. It still runs now, so it's fine. It doesn't have a check engine light. Yeah, which is really impressive, but it's burning coolant aggressively. That's got to be their fault. I don't know, and I think there's just absolutely no other things that could have possibly damaged it. Maybe the cold start to red line this winter? Maybe. It could have contributed. It probably wasn't bouncing it off the chip for like four minutes. They have a rev limiter for a reason. That's true. It's just fine. He did everything that you can do with that car. Pushing the gas to the floor, they wouldn't make him to do that if you're not supposed to. If the red line was like a safe fail, Subarus would be like 2,000 RPM. Well, that's because Subarus just got shit motors, but Corvette had good motors. Corvette. I mean, come on. It's a performance vehicle. It's a super car. Them being like, sorry, dude, just based on this video evidence we have of you, like, you can't warranty the car. And then Ryan's like, boys, go have these on me with this. I know. That's bullshit. If they don't, dude, that's, I think it is because you got your oil overfilled and you were driving it hard, which is made to be driven hard, and that comes back on them. Yeah. I don't know. Time will tell. It was warm when I rev-bombed it. I rev-bombed it for a really long time. He was cracking a joke. But it was warm. Like it wasn't actually like I fucking started on a brrr. That'd be insane. That's the type of shit you do with the TC. Exactly. And look at how that handled it. 10, 15 years of abuse and it's still hanging on. Bit of a bummer, especially coming into summer. There's only so many days you can drive between snowfall. So pretty bummed out. Yeah, that does suck. That's where you'd hate to see it go down. Yeah. It'd be a doozy. Because that's just not one of those things. It's not a big wrench fix where they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll pop a new motor in it this week. It could. To be fair, though, they could. Yeah, they could, dude. Yeah, they could. If you want any kind of mechanic slash labor slash fabricating job done that takes skill, those guys can do that shit like that. For sure. You start going to other places, you find out how long things take, and you're like, what the fuck, dude? I got two guys that could do this shit in two days. If they weren't building a wooden dirt bike right now, they would be able to do it. Buy us. But even just dropping it off at the dealer, that's just going to be one of those things. They're just like, yeah, come pick it up in September. And I'll have to put winter tires on it and drive in the winter. Yeah. If it is good, though, you should cook it at Octane in the burnout pit. I mean, I'll do whatever to it. What if it blows up and blows through your back glass? That'd be insane. You'll do whatever to it if. If it is running at octane, yeah, I'll rip it hard. We could use it as, like, smoke effects for the quad. That's true. You could drive it up on stage and then hop out. Star sitting there just smoking out the exhaust is my smoke effect. They'll say, where's the Hummer? Yeah, you're right. Do you think you'll sing the gay song that Jack made you? No. Cute boy staying up, staring on the dock over there. I thought VR had us modify that. Yeah, we modified that. Was there something else we wanted to talk to Jack about? There is. There's something we want to talk to you about, too. I don't mind. I'm aware of that. There is. Okay, before we completely move on from the Octane, though, if you guys do want to go to Octane, it really helps us out if you get a ticket in advance. And we're pretty nervous about this. This is like the first time doing an event of this scale. So if you guys support us, appreciate it, get a ticket, come on out. We're going to do everything in our power to make this the most entertaining weekend. So get tickets at BIRMN.com. Hit the Octane tab and preserve your tickets. We'll put the link down below in the description. Do you say preserve? I don't know. Preserve? Reserve? Preserve? Either way, yeah. Preserve your tickets. June 4th through the 7th. The 5th and the 6th are the hotspot days, Friday, Saturday. We'll be there all weekend. Yeah, you can come out for one day or just come out in camp for the weekend, hang out with the boys. It's going to be lit. I'm excited. I'm excited, too. I'm excited. But, yeah, Jack. Jack is back? Dude, this kid, man. Back to the casting coach. There's so many things that I'm intrigued on which one this is going to be now. Yeah. You going to hold it for me? Yeah, I'm going to hold it for you. Jack. Yes, sir. Dude, I love you, bro. Honestly, you're like one of the boys already. You've been around for, what, two months now? Yeah. This hit three. A quiver in his voice. You hear three? Yeah. Three? Yeah, so. You're fired. No. No. You've been around just long enough where now all the boys are just comfortable. You're just one of the boys, right? And with that comes. Savagery. Just a hard time. A lot of roasting. Yeah, getting your balls busted. I go to bat for you every time. I do. Do you? I do. A lot of times, you know, if Evan or Dalton are chirping, I always got your back. I do too, Jack. I do. I pulled into the shop today, Jack, and I see your car sitting in the driveway with a new Lightning McQueen wrap on it. I came up to you and I love it. I pulled up and I said, oh boy, this one's going to be tough. This one's going to be tough. I'm about to go to war for Jack on this one. I think the easier way would be for you to just defend yourself. I think it's sick. I think it looks cool. Benny came in, complimented me right away this morning, too. I haven't heard anything negative, so it must all just be behind my back. Did it kind of sound like, Jack, wow, sick rap, bud. And, Jack, I just want to say this. Dude, you are not the first to go through this. Dalton, in fact, went through it so much that we went out of our way, we bought a truck and replicated his rap and made a whole, like, year-long joke about it. And Evan still doesn't let him forget. No, he doesn't. I think we should. I just want to say you're not alone. You're not alone, but defend yourself. And also, don't let Dalton give you a hard time for this either. Dude, I think it's sick. I don't care. If Dalton gives you shit, just remind him who has a monster logo on their door. I will do that. Nothing against monster, really. What part of it do you think is sick? What part of it do you think is not sick? I'm just more so curious. Are you a big Cars fan? Are you a big Cars fan? Cars is such a good movie. The best kids movie of all time. I didn't want to be rude, but I was like, this could have been a prank that he lost and has to run this, or he's either running this by choice, or he lost a deal, or I just didn't know what the deal was. What was the thought behind it, though? Was it because Lightning McQueen and you drive a Tesla, so it's electric? Is that why you did that? No. Lightning McQueen is gas. I get that, but I just thought maybe lightning, like he was trying to coordinate lightning with electric or something. I don't know. No, it's a little red car. Him, all you have to do is throw stickers on it. It's already red. Like, I got it comped. I think it's kind of sick. Okay, no. Jack wrapping his Tesla in Lightning McQueen is the equivalent of me getting a bowl cut. Why would you do that, Micah? I don't know. I just like to spice. That's not a backhanded compliment. I don't know what it is. Hold on, here. Yeah. Pop up a big zero, Mike with his bowl cut. Why would you do that? Jack questioning it already. Jack's like, I thought Mike said it looked good. I do like it. And it's like, why would you do that, Micah? I don't know. It's fun. I like to spice up my life. That's kind of at the end of the day what you're doing. But I was like, Jack, dude, I personally like it. And you go, really? You actually like it? Just say that. I'm like, I do like it. I do like it. Because at the end of the day, seeing in the background of a video, it's going to bring comments. People are like, who's Lightning McQueen car? Who's Lightning McQueen Tesla is that? I like it. Oh, it's Swaggy's. Was it like a strategic play? Like a strategic play? You saw how Dalton was getting on camera and stuff for it? So you're like, oh, I'm going to do a stupid rap. DJ. DJ. Hey, I don't know if I want to leave my fate up to the people watching, but I want to know what they actually think of it, like if they think it looks dumb or if they think it looks cool. Did you overhear maybe some comments from the construction crew this morning? Oh, boy. Because not only is there a Lightning McQueen car parked there, there's a freaking Cheeto Raptor parked next to it. These guys got some unique rigs. They were looking around, like every time they looked around, they were like, and did you see that thing over there and that thing over there? They were very intrigued. I was here this morning at like 8 a.m. to let him into the building. Jack's already here, so the two cars are next to each other, and they go, nice pickup. They're looking at it, and he kind of chuckles, and this boy looks at him and laughs. He goes, and the car, too. So they're grouping those together. He goes, and the car, too. Wow. So you just more so thought, let's wrap it in Lightning McQueen livery because it's red? Yeah, I don't know. I was watching Cars the other day. Realized my car kind of looks like Lightning McQueen. Found a guy who wanted to do it in exchange for a sponsorship. And tinted the whole thing, got the wrap done, and here we are. Nice. Now I'm going to rock it probably for the summer and then see what happens. Take it off and yeah, that's it. Then maybe like Buzz Lightyear. Yeah, we'll see what happens next. Buzz Lightyear. Buzz Lightyear. Yeah, we'll see what kids movie I'd wrap my car into next. Lion King. All right, well, I guess we'll leave it up to the people. I do actually want to know what the people think. Is that going to be a deterrent? Like, if you get roasted, are you going to take it off? No. Because Dalton rocked his for a year. He's still rocking it. It's hiding, but he's rocking it. Yeah, rocking it in storage. But I would say that, would you agree with this? Let's say it had aftermarket wheels, which I know costs money. It would look even cooler. Because right now the Tesla wheels are just okay. Yeah, I don't know what kind of wheels would look cool on that car. 24-inch gold. What kind of wheels does Lightning McQueen have? That's what I'm just about to look up. He has red rims, I think. Does he? Oh, God, that's amazing. In one of them, there's actually some different variations of Lightning McQueen. They sell Plasti Dip at L&M. Perfect. Yeah, you got to have red wheels. Yeah. That might be tough, though. Jack, I feel like you got to do something with it now. What does Lightning McLean do? Race. Let's put him in a race. Should we? Oh, gosh. Get him in a NASCAR race? Have you ever raced anything? No. I was going to say Ev can rip it, but I don't know if I want to do that. No, I think you got to drive your own car. I'll race it. Maybe we could put an angle kit on it and put you into the drift event at Octane Fest. Hmm. What else do you have to do to it? Ken, don't you have to do some other stuff? I think you just need the tuner. You just need the deleter. There's something you got to do with that to be able to disable the traction control. You pull a wheel speed sensor. Yeah, no, there's... You cut a wheel speed sensor. I've seen a guy on Instagram, and he just has this tuner that can do all kinds of stuff for it. How do you feel about us cutting a wheel speed sensor? It is supposed to be a race car. That's what you do on race cars. I'll be honest. It would be pretty sick to see a Tesla Model 3 Lightning McQueen drifting at Octane Fest. You could do it out in the backyard. There's a drift track right here. I know, but with a big crowd? Yeah. It would go crazy. It would be sick. It would be a spectacle. It would be a spectacle. You versus Dalton in a drift off? It would probably make more sense why you'd have the Lightning McQueen on it if you were racing. What other sense do you need besides how sick it looks? I don't think it looks bad at all. I was just more so like, why the Lightning McQueen, though? I don't know. It was just funny because you didn't even tell us, and you just showed up, and it was just like, oh, shit. Yeah, I was like, when the hell did Jack wrap his Tesla in Lightning McQueen? Or confused because you pulled up and it wasn't like, oh, yeah, I'm getting a rap this weekend, by the way. And, like, you maybe, like, throw us a little bone. But just to show up and see it, I was like, I was not. Yeah, I was just more so trying to find the connection. Like, what was the reason? Yeah. But, hey, if all you have to say is it looks cool, I like it. For content? Yeah. Well, it's working already. Yeah, dude. It's working already. Also, I did tell Ryan about it. You told me. And I was like, so maybe you told the people that you can trust. Well, I was like, do we want to do anything where, like, I pull up with it or not? And it was like, why the hell would you go to those guys then? No offense, guys. Oh, yeah. As far as that goes. I wanted it to be a surprise for the majority of people. Well, it was a surprise. Oh, Jack, we could have done some shit, bro. Well, it's too late now. But I think how discouraging it would have been if you're like, here's the plan, and they're like, not cool, bro. Yeah, that's why I was like, I better ask for it. Just pull up, and everyone's just silent. I believe my words were, if that's what you want to do, you should do it. I do pretty clearly remember saying, don't do it for us. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But, yeah, I mean, as long as you're happy, that's what makes me happy. It's not terrible. It's not terrible. No, it's not. I don't think it's bad at all. I do. I don't know. It's a little older. I mean, we are looking at the real Lightning McQueen here. I think it's fun. I think it's fun. You know what? I got a picture of it. I think it's fun. It's different. It's a good way to spice it up. The first thing he did when he pulled in was took a picture of it. I do think it looks pretty good, but I think Ben kind of touched on it, but, like, you've been around long enough now. We're right away. We can't, like, bust your balls. But now it's like, dude, you're just fitting in, so we're going to bust your balls no matter what you do. It's like you pull up in a McQueen car. It's going to be a few chuckles. Can you get the tongue on the front at least? I think that would make it gay. That's where you drop the line. Speaking of that If you think that would make it look worse Can you AI some eyes on it? I thought about it but I just don't want to get pulled over all the time Bro if you're Dude eyes would actually be sick If you threw eyes on it that'd be cool You gotta watch Cars like every night now Like if you're gonna be running the Lightning McQueen like rap I think you gotta be watching Cars Once a day Not as much as I watch it now Not as much as I should for having a light in the clean car. I almost said the dumbest thing. I'm like, if you're at the gas station and people come up, you're going to have to have some quotes, but you're probably not at the gas station. Evan knows a thing or two about driving around in a dumb vehicle. You got to hit him with the quotes. Yeah, he was giving us some tips. Evan's tips about the gas station. Evan's transport is a joke. Hey, man, just so you know when you're at the gas station, you need to be quick. They're going to get you. You're going to have some quick replies. Even though it was like damn near a dad joke and a silly setup, when you're eating the Cheetos, it just killed me. You know, these things are pretty good. Wouldn't wrap my truck in it, but. Well, congrats, bro. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. And I'm glad. Sounds weird, but I'm glad to be getting made fun of now because it means I'm a part of the crew. Yeah, that's true. It's a good way to look at it. You are. That's true. Yeah, we're just giving you shit. We're busting your balls, dude. Speaking of taking L's, Spenny, you've had a rough couple past few days. it hasn't been that insane getting your cake eaten well it's been popping a bunch of tubes tougher than most i'll be honest but you'll have that sometimes well that's why i was trying to get out of more like i'm like did something else happen because you call me and go pop three tubes i'm all for three this morning i'm like that's bad but it's not means that you this is the worst day you've had all of 2026 but it sounds like it is it might be honestly that's a pretty pretty good is that pretty tough yeah it's pretty tough you can't do anything around but if you do anything bad around ev you hear it for the next month imagine having a third color on your vehicle ryan still hears about that bro we had to talk you off the ledge yesterday because you were gonna leave the course on like the 13th hole and we're like spenny just chill it's fine yeah because the first 10 holes all i did was just get ripped to shreds by all three of you guys spenny ended up shooting a 98 and he skipped like four holes he was flustered he was not doing good yesterday I was over it. I was so over it. And then you wanted to run some pool, and I beat you six times in a row. Yeah, but it doesn't really count because you had a skid mark in your underwear the whole time. And then this morning you popped three tubes. So I don't know. It's just been a bad 24 hours, 36 hours. Yeah, I shit his pants on the golf course. Bro, Evan shit his pants halfway through an 18. Oh, my God. Ran it. What? Didn't wipe. And then midway through your birthday dinner, I get a text from Evan. No, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Evan shit his pants on the golf course halfway through a nine. Didn't go to the bathroom. Let me clarify one thing. There's a difference between a shart and a full-blown poop. You had poop in your underpants. It was a shart. People do that, and they have to just carry on with their life. Not since I was seven. You just can't drop everything you're doing. That's normally what you do. Yeah, I'd rush to the bathroom. He had damn crones. You go and clean it up. You don't just sit in it. I try to act natural, pretend it's in there. When you have a baby. It dries in like 20 minutes. You don't even know it's there. When you have a baby and they shit in their diaper, you don't just say, oh, I'll just leave it for the next seven hours. He's going to do it again anyways. You go and you clean it up. That's good point, Spenny. So then we get to the final hole. Today's podcast is sponsored by Fume. Fume is here to break the habit of vaping. This flavored air fidget device gives your hand and your mouth something to do without nicotine, vapor, or batteries. Resolutions feel easy on day one, but once cravings spike, it can be hard to resist. That's why Fume works for those addicted to nicotine because it replaces the vaping feeling without nicotine. Fume has some new flavors too. Crisp mint has the strongest flavor while raspberry is tangy and sweet. And we've got a special deal for you. 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Without changing. and then I show up and there's like some booby-loo to belly or some shit on the TV and he's swiping Marketplace. Sitting on the couch. Sitting on the couch. In his same clothes. And I walk up and I say, what are you doing? And he's like just chilling. I'm like, did you shower? And he's like, no, no, I got to shower before we go for dinner for Ben's birthday. And I'm like, oh, all right, well, you want to run some pool? And he's like, yeah, sure. So then he runs five games of pool with me and then goes and showers at 6 o'clock. But we started golfing at like 11. And that shart probably happened around two or three. And it was dry by four. But it's itchy and just weird. Like, that's weird. It's so gross. Just because we're using the same shower some days, what are you using in the shower so I can not? Oh, that green loofah. Is that yours? No, that's not my loofah. I don't use a loofah. There's a loofah? No. The brown loofah now. Which body wash are you using? Because I'm not going to grab that one. I don't use the, it's not like a bar of soap. You don't scrub with the old spice. Just a hand, the scrub to hand. The soap goes on the hand and then the cleaning happens, but because it immediately, it's not dirty anymore. Hold on a second. It's soap now. So then we go for dinner. It's soap now. It's self-cleaning. Then we go to Ben's dinner and Evan's sitting at the table. He's showered and in fresh clothes. And he stands up and goes like this. Oh, and just runs to the bathroom. And I'm like, oh my God, he did it again. and then sure enough, he texts me five minutes later, shit my pants again. So then I'm wondering, did you come home to the shop and shower? There's no way you showered twice. So you went to bed with your shitty little butt, and it's probably still shitty from dinner last night. Did you shower this morning, Ed? Oh, my gosh. You did, okay. So you went to sleep with a shitty bum. No, but the one at the restaurant, I made it to the bathroom within like three seconds, so I was able to do proper maintenance. Wait, you shit your pants. How do you do proper maintenance? So you still had dirty underwear at the restaurant? Yes. And then you wore your dirty underwear to sleep. I think there's a big discrepancy between a shart and a full-blown shit in my pants. I'm not shitting in my pants. You might as well shit your pants. There's poop on your underwear. It's the same thing. When we're out to dinner with, call it, 20 people, it's crazy how many dynamics and just different things are happening. With that large of a group, CJ's over here trying to make money, Evan's shitting his pants over there, Mike's wife is getting mad at CJ for eating Spenny's cake. Justin, you are talking engineering and stuff. And Ken's sucking down scallops. It was a wild night. Maybe we need to get F some baby wipes or something. Yeah, I was going to say a plug. A cork, a baby wipe. I suppose you already have a plug. Is it in there right now? That's probably why you have your sharting problem. His plug is already why it's fine. He went to work without his plug in. The day after he takes it out, he has problems. Jesus. This is going to be a hard one. Ken was one of the biggest zingers ever. When someone walks up to you and says, hey, man, I love the podcast. I'm going to have to look them in the eyes and say, thank you. What do you love about it? Maybe a good transition from my underpants would be to my little mistake I made the other day. Your little mistake. Which one was this? Do you have a video of it, Ryan? Oh, I still haven't seen this video yet. I haven't either. I still haven't seen this. I'm sure it won't be easy. Yeah, let's see it. But I'm glad to hear we have some live footage of it. You maybe just kind of say what happened and then I'll get the video out of. Me and Dalton were ripping a bunch of games of pool. We were playing for hours. And the chalk was sitting on the table right next to our fluorescent LifeWideOpen sign. It's been there for seven years. It's been broken only once or twice. That's close to the sign. Has it been broken before? Yeah, Mike broke it for sure. I just don't know if it was other than that. With a pool stick. Come on, Mike. Someone did. I did. Someone broke it with a pool stick once. Okay. I was here, but I didn't do it. But anyways, Dalton's shooting, so I just kind of backed myself into the corner. I grabbed the chalk off the table, hardly bumped the sign, which I think the video will show. I hardly bumped this sign, and it just, poof, turns into a pile of glass. You fully slammed it. You hit my arm. What do you mean? You hardly. That's not a body. No, but you did trash. It's not like I was leaning up against the wall. Bro, you literally shouldered the whole thing. The whole thing flexed. The whole thing flexed. You shouldered the whole thing. Your body checked it like a hockey check. I think the damn wall is flexed. I don't even see the clip right now, but I know I didn't get it. What? That you're saying. When you explain this to me, you're like, I just literally nicked it with the pool cue. Dude, I turned. Literally, I turned with the chalk in my hand to see if. Dalton's missing another shot, and I bump into it. If that would have been a skateboard like this, you'd have cracked her in half. Okay. I do love your face. Yeah, you knew. I just knew. I knew it was just like, gosh darn it. And the sign. Yeah, he did know. The sign is getting fixed. I'm taking care of that. Mike dropped it off for me. I do feel bad. I don't want to, you know, just be breaking stuff. Now you don't want to just be breaking stuff. It was like it was an honest mistake. I don't feel like I was being overly reckless. I reached for the chuck. I bumped the sign. It's been on for like five years straight. I think it's maybe more brittle than the day we got it on. Yeah, you know, it was due for it. It was due for it. It needed a new OP anyways. Those ones were worn out. We probably should put that thing in like a safer spot. I was thinking about the other day, too. I'm going to hide some bulletproof glass. It's probably fine. Like a Mona Lisa. When you get close to it, a little shield comes up. I think it's been there long enough. It's a great spot for it. You want it to be seen. So how many years do you think it's been there? For it to have gotten. Since 2020. We put it in the day that we moved in. 2020. We got that sign in, I think, 2019 in the old shop, and then it moved into this shop. So it's been up there for six years? Six. Because if I recall, the other time it got broke was just from the backswing on a pool stick. Took out one letter, I believe. That's a pretty good run in seven years. around here yeah i guess couple letters in that long yeah i mean shred 80 was jumping couches on a three-wheeler and there's been a lot of chaos has gone on in there with a pretty fragile sign that's all i'm saying but either way i do feel bad about it i'm getting it fixed so sorry fellas no biggie it was an accident you can break whatever you want as long as you pay to fix it immediately unless it's on camera then it's fine right that's subject that's subject uh that's subject if we're filming a video and it's on camera that's what i mean yes that's what i meant filming a video everything's on camera here but yeah you're right you know tp travis he's got that rule like if you break it and it's on camera for a video obviously just fine but he holds people to it i was talking to a dude at uh freedom factory and he was telling me how he was driving his corvette before they jumped it the one that he won and he basically like slid it down a jump on an accident. He was trying to turn around, and he slid down and basically slid into some trees down below. But it only broke the mirror. And they were going to do this big jump or whatever after. So he goes and puts it back, and it was knowing he broke that. But he didn't think it was any big deal because they were going to jump it. It's going to be toasted anyways. Got an invoice for the mirror. Really? Yeah. Well, he's doing some shit he shouldn't have been doing. I think there's probably the misconception that we don't care about anything or that TP doesn't care about anything because you watch one video and five things get broken in it. There's a difference from, like, a Tuesday night when everyone's sleeping and then there's some people here that are just fucking around and just wrecking all of our pit bikes. Wrecking all of our shit. And all of our shit. And then the day that we go to use our pit bikes, they're all broken. How are all these broken? Wait, you think that a bunch of us used to pit bikes? No, I mean, it's just like, that was just the example. All right, all right. Fair example. There is some toasted out pit bikes. We got like two that are down right now. That work. We have like eight. One pit bike's down with like an undiagnosed mystery electrical issue that we've been trying to get since like the day we got it from the dealer. How about the other six? The other three are fine. We only have four. Three are good. One's a mystery. And one is mine, so it probably doesn't run. Yeah. Mike would be the fifth one that's toasted. Mine burns a quarter oil per hour, but that's my ordeal. But you know what I said to that guy when he told me that he got an invoice for it? I go, that's a good idea. And then I walked away, and he was like, oh, shit. I thought it just started something. I mean, honestly, I think that is a good idea. It is. And also, like, yeah, you know, it might seem like we care less than we do. It maybe is a little bit sociopathic of us that if it's on video, it doesn't matter. But, like, that's our bread and butter. Like, if it's on video and we're able to make content. If there was a reason behind it, but you can't just come in here and just start breaking shit. Like, you break a pool cube because you were mad when you lost or whatever, and then it's like, well, that was pointless, and now we've got to buy a new one. Or pile up a pit bike when you're just out riding. There's a difference from making, like, an entertaining video versus it just happening. Oh, yes. Shout out to Uncle Rich for twisting the hell out of one of our Altuses and disappearing back to Texas, wherever he goes. I can't get mad at him. I crashed his brand new one. I got them back. I got them back. I got them back for you guys. It's like one thing, I guess, when shit gets broken by, like, the crew, but it seems like more times than not, it's like the outside people that come in and have this idea that, like, we don't give a fuck if anything gets broken, and then they're the ones that break it. They're not a part of our immediate crew, and then that's the people that you never hear from or you never see again, and now you just got a broken $15,000 Stark. Shit happens. or a broken hot tub or a broken sauna. Did you get paid for that Stark, Mike? You got paid for the Stark. Did you? I don't even know who broke that. Yeah, what happened? Some guy hopped on your Stark and you broke it. I wasn't even there, bro. I'll take the blame for that one. He said he was a professional hill climber and he had never rode a Stark and me and Cody were like, you can ride a Stark, but ride Mike's. And he just lawn darted it, essentially. Was it? But he felt really bad, and, like, immediately as soon as he did it, I'm like, that's Mike's bike. You need to call him and buff it out. So we, like, within minutes, like, he's bleeding. Yeah. And he's on the phone with Mike, like, apologizing. Because he was so flustered. I was like, what's going on here? Yeah. I feel like in that same interaction with, like, the other people that were doing that, somebody crashed my 250, and it got all bent up. Well, Dalton wadded. No, I think it was before that, or maybe it was even after that. From what I know in riding the moto track with homies, Dalton is the only one that has severely wadded your 250. Maybe that's what it was. Yeah, he crashed. Yeah, maybe that's who it was. And then he was like, I didn't mess anything up, though. And then the next time I went to ride it, it was just all mangled. The handlebars are like this. He wadded it hard, but I helped him piece it back together. We got new levers ordered. Yeah, I didn't know. As far as I know, there's never been a random that is just, like in the Mike situation with the Stark. There's never been a random that has ever touched your Honda. The bars could have been bent from that situation. We looked at it. We assessed it. There was a clutch lever. Obviously, it was broken. I tried to bend it back. It cut my arm open. That was the only injury from the deal, but the bars looked fine. It could have been bent by someone else. I'll get you new bars. No, no. Like I said, it's one thing if it's our crew. You're my boy. I really don't care. I don't care one bit. But it's like the outside people that I don't even know hopping on and just piling shit up. I don't think anyone from the outside world has hopped on your rig, that thing. We keep that thing highly tuned. Well, that isn't the case. I can't remember who it was. Somebody crashed it. It was a couple years ago somebody crashed your bike. Which is the story that I'm – I can't recall exactly the details of it. Somebody came out, and it wasn't a giveaway winner, was it? It was the kid with that fucking jet car, wasn't it? Yeah, it was the jet car friend. that's right they had the jet car and wanted to ride bikes and they like said that he rides dirt bikes all the time that's what it was and then he hopped on the dirt bike and it was pretty much just a blatant lie because he didn't know what he was doing and he just fucking crashed that is ringing a slight bell yeah that's what it was yeah this sounds about right oh gosh yeah and then i always remember you know kitzman was filming for andrew carlson when we were over there and that was when you had a 450 the one we turned into the three-wheeler and he got on it and just looped it I mean, he damn near did a backflip on dry pavement. And he broke his tailbone, didn't he? He broke his tailbone from it. Remember that? I completely forgot about that one. Yeah, your bike ended up, for the most part, being okay. Maybe a broken lever. But, dude, he literally broke his coccyx. Yeah. And that would be one thing if I was like, yo, take it for a rip. I don't care about that one bit either. But, damn, I forgot about him hopping on and breaking his tailbone. Broken tailbone is bad because then you can't even sit. Yeah. Like, you sit on it. What do you do? You need a little donut. Oh, fuck, that'd be bad. Did Simon loop your bike, too? Oh, yeah. I can. Simon loops my bike, and it was like my most viral video of 2024. He had the loop in shorts had to be surgically removed from his ass. Okay, but that's a great example of like we weren't filming a video, but you still got a great video of it, and it came off. And it was my personal bike. That, too. I mean, totally kosher, but, like, just amazing that you got such a good video of it because that was funny. That was the most classic two-stroke power band. Can we watch it? Wheelie to your ass. I want to laugh. I can probably pull that up. I want to laugh. I love that. But that's just the thing, though. When you're riding dirt bikes and stuff and you're tipping them over, they just break. Like, they're just flimsy. Yeah. It just happens. It is. It's the truth of it. Almost 700K. Because it's interesting, and I would argue almost like that bikes are very resilient. It's kind of crazy. It goes both ways. I feel like if you crash a dirt bike little, you bend the bar. Yeah, and then you break the exhaust. And then when you wad up hard, they're fine. It's like, how is my bike okay? You're like, what? His face when he gets up. He looks like you're jumping a Chevy. That's your same face when you're jumping a Chevy. He did a wheelie. He did a wheelie. Did that snipe? Oh, bro, bro, Simon. That's a good guy. Some guys are just not supposed to be riding two strokes, though. Look at that. CJ's one of them. CJ's one of them. Also, I was laughing at that comment, Evan, that was like, well, today I found, after watching the TRX wheelie video, I found out that Evan's truck wheelie face and truck jumping face are different. But, yeah, Evan has a very distinct truck jumping face, and it's the same as Simon's after he crashed. I think it's what you don't want to do in the vehicle, though. Don't they say you're supposed to stay, like, loose in the vehicle? That's on an accident. That's on an accident, though. You're so incredibly dense that I believe in your tenseness. Bro, don't change anything you're doing. You are a cinder block behind the wheel. Other than my back, I can pretty much handle anything. Why? What's wrong with your back? Blown out? Blown out. Blown out for 20 years. Speaking of that, actually. Guy was freaking 10. I've been loving this. We've been getting clipped on TikTok. And I'm waiting for someone to clip Ben saying the Johnny Sins thing about Cletus' car. Oh, now they're just going to do it. Good, they should. But this was so funny. My head hurts a little, but my asshole hurts a lot. That is considered funny. That was funny. Oh, no. Your face, Ben? I always love watching these because it's always just not a roller, but just a little stance up of the bike. Yeah. and then it's just something fucking ridiculous. That shot of you guys looks like it's a TV show. It does. There's like you saying that looks like it was clipped from a movie. Yeah, it does. Like the way your hat's cocked and what you're wearing. It just seems so ridiculous. I was having such a good time that day. It's like, I mean, yeah, that's probably why your ass will hurt. Yeah. I just sent Ryan a text. I don't know. We might have to cut it, but Dalton literally just sent me this snap. Oh, my gosh. I'm not going to show it on the cam, but it's just a shirt in Dalton's underpants. Oh, man. Is that right now? What is going on with you two? He's actively in there. What? I think it's those garage beers you guys are drinking. He wants to be Evan. He's so bad, dude. He probably did it on his big brother. He probably just forced it out. He forced it out. I'm going to sharp my pants so I can try and impress him. And then Evan later on gives him a dap off about that. Nice, nice, good work. That's what Evan said. How long do you run it? How long do you run it? I'm going to try and run it for a week. They're seeing who can long run their sharpie pants longer. I'm going to go on a date tonight. I don't know if it would count if I did it in the same day, so I'm going to shart now, run it until tomorrow, shart again. That's how he ones up Evan. He double sharts in the same underwear and runs it. You wash your hands. You saw the snap? Yeah, we saw the snap. I'm proud he is. I'm just trying to follow my father's footsteps. Wow. It does kind of sound fun, boys. You guys got to screw loose. Yeah, running the shart. You know how it goes. You're going to do it, Mike? Well, yeah, it's been literally years. Easier on the podcast, get up. We don't want to knock anything over and break it. Mike, years. I don't know. I genuinely don't know when the last time I started was. I know this is a crazy concept, but don't disagree. We can laugh about it. Normal people probably don't want to admit it. I think it's a very normal thing. Dude, I don't think it's as normal as your schedule that you're running. I mean, runners have it happen. But you're running it like every three days. I think it's not that normal. Yeah, and it's normal when you take the underwear off and throw them out. Yeah, dude, if I start, I'm full on. It's not normal to sit in it on the couch and scroll through real poop on the underwear. The second I got a chance to change, I'm definitely changing. I'm not going to just chill in it. Yeah. Especially when I'm at my place that I have a shower and all my clothes at, like my home. You chose to chill in it. I'm not going to just start and just run it. You chose to chill in it. I'd get it if you're, like, out of the store and you don't have any choice, like, or you're somewhere where you're not going to be able to do it. Like Forrest Gump says, shit happens. You're damn right, Evan. And, I mean, I'm not too good to admit that. I mean, I shart every now and then, too. You know what happens? I definitely am not. It might be, like, twice a year type of thing. Oh, now you're just trying to be cool. But, listen, I'm not running a program like Evan. Like, I'm the moment I have a chance. If not, I'm changing plans and going straight to make sure I properly shower, change clothes, clean up. That could really interrupt a guy's schedule. What if you have important things to do? Like sit on the couch at your place or residence? Play a game with your buddy? And scroll on your phone? That's a fair argument, but maybe there's other situations. You're in the middle of filming it. You're just going to like walk up. Well, then, yeah, you've got to run it. It's a different deal. It's a different deal. I must have trust issues. Ken, what's the deal with you? Do you shart your pants? How many times a day are you going to the bathroom? We've got to get off this topic. We can't get off this one. I'm always able to make it to the bathroom before I have a problem. I don't know how you're just familiar with this. How many times do you think you go to the bathroom a day? Four? Three. I'd say three is average. If I'm on a really bad schedule, four. Mike, why are you confirming that threes is average? Because overall, that is his average. Dude, ever since Jack started working here and now your office is over at the farm, everyone's complaining that they never get a chance to go to the bathroom. You're just sitting in there the whole time? We've got Big Ranch going down to the merch warehouse just so we can get some porcelain time. Ken's just chilling in there. I mean, I wouldn't say that. He's a little over-exaggerated. I mean, it's once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and then it's good. I do got to say, now that Ev says that, I do see you either going in there or coming out. I haven't seen much office time. I've just seen you going in or out. We said it years ago, but we just need to combine the facilities in Ken's office. Yeah, we've kind of gotten out of it, but we used to give Ken, like, toilet presents all the time. But got to get back on it. I am very glad we moved on from that stage. Now we just throw donuts at his Cybertruck. So what's the deal? You hate donuts, Ken? No, I'm just trying to not have so many carbs in my life. But what's that have to do with us throwing donuts at his Cybertruck? I just think it's kind of disrespectful to throw donuts at a rig multiple times. It was funny when it was one. It was less funny when it was the second time. It was not funny the third time, and it was not funny at all the fourth time. Did we do it four times? But you didn't laugh at any of the times. You didn't laugh the first time either. The first time I pulled you aside and I was like, hey, can you not do this? And then turn around, and then you throw all the donuts at my truck. And then you did it again when I pulled up, and then you did it a fourth time when it was on the road. On the road. On the drive side. What if this becomes a thing? Like, you're just living your life. You're just driving down the interstate, and then someone just, you see the window go down, like, when they're about a car length in front of you, and they just toss a donut out. It just hits you right now. I might have to take a page out of Ryan's book and be a little psycho. I don't know. What do you think you'd do? Run them off the road. Run them down. Run them down, and then do what? Tell them how disrespectful it is? Run them off the road. Tell them they're a little. There we go. I've never ran anyone off the road. A lot of animals, but. Ken, since you brought up Ryan being psycho, it is kind of like a stereotype you have. Yeah. What happened on our Florida trip where you were the polar opposite of psycho, where you were put in many situations? I know we talked about the garage, but just the trip in whole. Yeah? That I was cool? The fuse had been lit so many times. Is it the Florida air? No, but Ryan's different on vacation. We've always said it. He gets in Florida and literally nothing can faze him. I did see that. I saw that happen. I mean, just imagine how fucking bad it is in my head 24-7 that these little moments sneak out. And then it's like, Ryan's a psycho. Like, I'm dealing with this shit 24-7. It's up there. And I just hold it back. And then one time daily, it slips out. And then everyone's like, oh, my God, what a fucking lunatic. Ryan has, like, no chance to get mad. Yeah. Ryan has, like, no chance to get mad because if he gets mad, everyone's like, see? like someone could literally do him so wrong and if he gets mad like or if someone if someone is around us and that happens they're like you guys weren't kidding yeah moral of my story ryan was just what happened in florida in florida it was more of like a compliment than to like try to no thank you uh it was part of like my just self-reflection i was like i should try to be more thankful and positive about things and try to realize that in the big picture everything is going to be okay the crazy and just not let it affect me as much which is difficult the craziest one that i saw was you were doing something with the remote and you had just struggled to get the batteries into the back of it and then you hung it up on the wall and it fell out of the wall hanger and the batteries exploded everywhere. And you look at me, you turn and look at me and go... You just start laughing. As Freddy's fighting underneath the blanket. I was like, why is he laughing? And then I thought you were more psycho because you laughed at it. I was like, why is he laughing at it now? I don't know. I thought it was pretty funny. Again, I think to the point is I don't get pissed off when I do something wrong because it was an accident. it so someone else if you'd done it three times i'm like figure it the fuck out then then you would have had a problem yeah then that remote would have come flying at you no i don't know i'm just trying to be more more positive and less also less psycho unfortunately the thing is if you do something a few too many times you're just labeled that forever so no matter how positive i am i'll always be a psycho and uh that i guess is just the cross i will have to bear he's a positive psycho congrats on being somehow the only guy here wearing camo pants it's literally a hurdle it was a gamble yeah it was a gamble let's get a little OOTD yeah yeah I got my aloe shoes Lululemon shoes get up get a little spin yeah you like this you want this get a little spin we got this nice bag we got a good baggage on it hammer holster your favorite shirt my Corvette shirt you didn't see the news though huh I didn't see the news what's the new news camo pants are like Totally out. Don't tell me that. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Damn, since Saturday they became out. Also, just a random thing. When you're at an Airbnb, there's lots of games. Ryan pulls out Guess Who? Oh, yeah. But he's like, let's play this funny. And so the next thing I know, he's playing against Evan, and he's just like, does your guy look like he would drive his car into a grocery store window? And then Evan would be like, yeah, he kind of does. And then Evan would be like, does your guy look like he'd give his wife's boyfriend a ride home from the bar? No. That was pretty funny. It's guess who, but you can't use any describing characteristics. And the best part is Evan got it right twice. Wow. It's a little game, a little board game. It's good for you, you and you kids and your damn screens. They were trying to play guess who. Boring as fuck. Elvis Dill's pitch, right? My phone was dead. My phone was dead. It was charging across the room. If you're a psycho, Ryan, what is all of us? How would you describe everyone, though? Now's your chance. Label everyone. Label us. I think that's fair. If we're going to label you psycho, you should label us off of how we are. That too much pressure right now Buck Just shoot from the hip Don overthink it Shoot from the hip Five seconds a person go now Just chuck out sarcastic asshole for me because it Yeah sarcastic asshole is easy Ken's going to get mad because it is a little bit psycho-adjacent, but I'd go spaz. Because there's random spaz. I haven't heard that word in a long time. Dude, nothing pisses a spaz off more than being called spaz. I haven't heard that forever. You think I'm a spaz? I'm not a spaz. How am I a spaz? What are you spazzing right now? No, I'm not. I'm not spazzing. How am I a spaz? I would say that is somewhat accurate. There we go. There are certain things that just push me over the edge, and certain people know exactly which buttons to push to make that happen. That makes sense. Evan is a yapper. Fuck, that boy can talk. Fuck. To anything and anyone about anything. or nothing or nothing spenny you're probably just a chiller what i know i'm trying here okay i'd give him that i'd say that too yeah he's just too chill i haven't been chill the last couple days evan's really been rallying i actually got mad at dalton and evan yesterday that's how like that was the first time i've been like was i not in a dick move at the golf course really i mean you You just said you were going to take your clubs and go home. No, Dalton was like, yo, can I get ox? I'm like, no, Dalton, you're not getting ox. Like, you always get ox. Like, that's how mad I was. Normally, I don't care. That sounds, that's like the equivalent of me literally committing murder. But today, you were upset because you popped a tube. I didn't pop a tube. And then you popped a second tube. And I said, Spenny, please, we only have one tube left. Let me just do this one. No. And then I go, Spinny, you're using the wrong spoons. I haven't used these spoons for 20 years. I go, well, maybe if you use the round ones without sharp fucking edges, you won't pop the goddamn tube. And hey, maybe you should use some of this lubricant. No, I just use water. Pop the third tube. Damn, Spin. It was a bad day. I'm telling you, it was a bad day. But I tried to help. Yeah, you did. You did. But either way, chillers fair. I was actually, this isn't a label, but CJ, I was thinking about you on my drive home last night. Nice. you've been really funny lately. Dude, I said the same thing. I said the same thing. CJ's been ripping. There's certain types of comedians. Some comedians and funny guys in the group are always saying something, and they'll sometimes land. But CJ will sit in silence, and then he's surgical with his comedic timing. You'll just be quiet for a little bit, and then you'll just get the whole table laughing. Girls and guys differ. You just play it right. You're just like a sniper with your jokes. Thank you. Yeah, and I was like, damn, CJ's been on one. He's been on top of it lately. You know who he gets that from? His mom. Really? Yeah. Cam? Yep. She's always making jokes out of things. Oh. She is. Yep. And I never really put two and two together until I think Greta told me that. I was like, oh. So you and Greta were talking about how funny I was too, Ben? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. It has been brought up. Really? Yeah, I guess they've been landing. They've been landing. No, I agree. Yeah. People are finally coming around to you. Last night you were talking about it, that it was funny? Yeah, in the last couple days. Me? Yeah. I'm just saying he's locked in right now. Remember when we were in Florida? I was like, dude, you've been hilarious lately. I was like, you've been cracking me up. But I feel like I wasn't really trying to be funny. I was just like doing anything. We were just at the grocery store. I was like, get those for Evan. He'll like those. He goes, that's hilarious. You were like. No, you will like those. A true community genius. You were like, oh, we'll get him the buzz ball and the bag of Cheetos, and you're like, that'll keep him entertained for a little while. That will keep him entertained for a while. It's like giving a dog a bonus. It was just so funny, man. I'll take that label, Ryan. You've been locked in. Been locked in lately. Dude, Ken's a spaz. Mine's like a compliment. CJ's funny guy. We're like sarcastic assholes. spaz, yapper. I can't shut the fuck up. Funny. Next thing you know, Ben, you're just the best guy I know. I'm on the edge of my seat for Ben too. Well, okay, I actually was just thinking, I was like, fuck, I don't know what I'm going to say for Ben. Jack is swaggy. Because of this fucking license plate. True. McQueen. You might have to give me a minute on Ben to really pin him down. Okay. Pause. We'll give Ryan a minute. Dude, Jack looks like fucking ben you guys look alike you guys do look i swear dude like we should get jack the same haircut as ben and we could swap you two out interchangeable did this happen did we talk about this in the podcast gretta came up behind jack hugged him and kissed him on the neck no then jack slapped her ass and then they realized they were like oh shit wrong peep wrong wrong uh spouse There we go, funny guy And then Ben got a haircut right after it No, but yeah, we were sitting at a table at lunch And Jack was sitting with his back to the door And Greta walked in and went up to Jack and was like, hi And like hugged him around his shoulders, hi And then Jack turned around like this And his Greta was like, oh Oh, that's awkward It was like when Ryan slapped her ass at that MGK concert It was dark, it was dark I forgot. I'm sorry. He saw that thing and he was just like, I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. To say he saw that thing is crazy. To say that he saw that thing is crazy. I'll just do it one time and say it was an accident. Why am I picturing... Fuck it. Everyone will believe it. It's an accident. I'll just say it was dark in there. Why am I picturing Ken giving the same answer? Ken, who doesn't have a significant other currently, saying, Ken, why'd you do that? Ah, it was dark. Yeah. Oops. Well, actually, I don't want to just, like, feel like I'm taking the finger you point at me and turn it right back around on you, but actually, I did think I'm going to go with Sly, because I saw this on your Instagram today. You were making a lot of fun. Sly like a fox. A lot of fun of me for taking your sister to prom. Look at this whole dedicated Instagram post to CJ's fiance. Who wouldn't feel lucky to surf with Anchor? You know what? That's awesome. You know what happened? CJ saw that and he said, can't let my little cousin one-up me here. And then he swooped her. I don't think you had a chance. Wait, you went to prom with Alex? No. No, Ryan went to prom with my sister. Oh, I agree. No, Alexis, my fiance, is the same age as Ben's older sister. So she was probably overhanging out, and then Ben was just this little stupid kid running around. And he was like, can I go surfing with you and get a picture and try to look cool on Instagram? And he did. He had it up on the gram that day. Hard post. Hard post. Hard post. Hard launch. Hard launch. Nah, it's all good. Thanks, bro. I'm pissed about it. Water under the fridge. You didn't know about that until right now. What the fuck? I'm going to have to rethink this whole engagement thing. Did you just say water under the fridge? Taylor Park Boys reference. Gosh. Do you have one of Taylor Park Boys and you're from Canada? Oh, yeah. I've seen it. I've seen all of them. You scared me for a second there. There were some funny other old pictures. Oh, here's a picture of, you'll have to beep this, but he's real. Whoa. He's real. Don't be showing him. Dude, AI is a crazy thing. Don't be showing him. There was an AI in 2015. We're going to do a hard launch with him and Ev. Like a face reveal. Like are they going to start dating or what? Face reveal. Hard launch. We're going to introduce them. Ev is just going to think it's a paid actor. That's a good point, actually. We could really just introduce anyone then. I just feel like I've met most people that you guys have stories about, and you have the most stories about this person that I just... He was a legend. We do. We have so many stories about him. And you always give me a look while you say it to leave me like... I know they're messing with you. It's crazy, too, because, like, CJ and I were best friends with him, and he pretty much just, like, stopped coming around, like, the summer before C-Boy started. Yeah, he would have been really funny on camera. He would have been. People would have loved him. He just decided he wanted to move away and do something else. If he existed. Yeah, so basically, to give context to the listener, Ben and I and Ryan and Micah and Ken, we have this friend that we hung out with a lot, and we have a lot of old stories with that we'll sometimes tell, and Evan's never seen this guy, he's never met this guy, doesn't have social media, anything. So, like, he can't look him up and he just thinks that we're trolling him. He thinks that we, like, are making up fake stories about a fake person and trolling him. And I have been trolled plenty of times before. So it's not like this is just, like, a really out-of-the-blue thing. Like, it's normal for me to question anything that you guys say. The one thing that really threw it for a loop was that Ken tried saying that he was our cousin. No, no, no. You guys, as a troll, told me he was our cousin. I don't think so. I think you just didn't know what was going on. You just thought he was our cousin. No, you guys were like, oh, yeah, he's our cousin. Is that how he said it? I was like, okay, cool. And then just years later, I was like, I thought he was your cousin. You're like, oh, absolutely not. I just love the level to it. Sometimes that dude's on a different planet. You're like, I don't think he's a real person. Then we're like, fuck it. We'll just convince you that he's not a real person. And then next thing you know, Dalton's like, I hear you guys talk about him all the time, too. And now Evan's telling me he's not even a real person. What is this? A long time. And so you were convincing him that he wasn't a real person. Oh, my God. Do you remember? I just thought it was a funny story he did one time in high school. His name's Beep, so maybe we can tell it, right? In high school, he banged this girl, right? So she's at his house. And he's like, so she goes home or whatever. And then he's got this condom. and he, like, doesn't know what to do with it because he doesn't want to throw it. Like, you don't want to flush it because you think it's going to fuck up his, like, septic or plumbing. And then he's also like, well, I can't throw it in the garbage. Like, what if my parents find it? So he, like, sneaks out, and he was, like, in such a hurry. He's, like, so he's wearing his underwear, and he, like, runs across this golf course and throws it in this garbage or something. And then he went home. He runs all the way back. and then he gets like nervous no he just threw it outside he just threw it somewhere and then he like gets all nervous and he's like oh fuck like what if they like grab the condom and like dna test it and then figure out it was me and get me for littering he fucking runs back out like a few hours later in the middle of the night finds this used condom on the golf course and then runs to like a hole and throws it in the garbage or something my god It was crazy. It was a funny story. I don't know if we can tell that one. I don't know. I feel like it's probably fine. I mean, what if people know who we're talking about? They won't. I hate blowing up people's spot, you know? Stories like this have been finding us for years. Like, how? Just how? You know, I think everyone has stories. Yeah. And every friend group has stories. I have my punk story, too. We're just like a tape recorder that we just record at night and then play live the next day. Or like the pumpkin situation when me and my buddies. I just heard this one last week. Yeah, you told us. On the pod. I said on the pod? Yeah, you told us on the pod, dude. No, you didn't. Yeah, you did. Sorry, Ben and I are actually like stupid. I don't know what's going on. What were you going to say? Nothing. I'm on a podcast. I'm not talking. I remember when I did that. That is crazy, Ryan. On our first podcast ever, you like didn't say anything and now you're like the dude running this shit. Isn't that crazy? Glow up. I think I was really scared and we were just like really yapping. I didn't want to like interject. And then I realized that's just kind of what you have to do. Yeah, dude. Nothing pisses people off more than having to listen to someone talk on a podcast. It's just the fucking worst. Benny's a shut up. Sit there and look pretty. What does he think? This is a podcast? The second one I talked a little bit and then more and more. And then now we're here. We've done like 200 and what is this? 217 episodes how many years have we been doing this shit 2021 i think five years yeah it is actually crazy because it seems like the podcast is still new to me but yeah yeah we've been doing it for a minute i was thinking about that uh just today though i was listening to this hulk hogan doc so then i saw that his daughter went on this podcast and she was talking crap about it she didn't like it but i was watching this podcast and i was thinking to myself like man these people are running it so much more different than we do i think a lot of podcasts have to because like they got guests on they're like so professional and like kind of stiff with it and they got like all these points they're talking about and i was like man we're so lucky we get to just sit down and like riff just riff and just like we're just hanging out you know like sometimes sometimes they're really really good and other times they're maybe just good but uh dude sometimes i feel bad i'm like i i want to come on and make sure i have good things to say you can't just come on here and just say random shit you gotta actually yeah you really can't like you gotta it is kind of hard you can but you can't yeah you can but you can't but yeah you just can't fly stuff out of left field otherwise it's not really gonna work yeah you can if there's like uh a reason for it or or more that you can add yeah true yeah yeah there's plenty of stuff too i'm sure that just gets cut out of the podcast that just we'll try won't go anywhere okay next topic it's like you say something and then it gives like a new thing for people to like transition off of and like yeah create a new conversation do you think because of the podcast people feel like they know us much better yeah for sure i think that'd be factual yeah yeah i mean we're like i think you talk about more like behind the scenes life stuff what's going on at home a lot more personal i was sitting next to a kid yesterday I did a conceal and carry class with Alex and the kid that I'm sitting next to, I don't know, he's probably 18, 19. And he's just like, you know, just a standard C-Boys fan. He's been watching since he was 10 or whatever, 12, you know. So he's like, dude, like, this is so weird. Like, I feel like I know you, but you don't know me. And, like, you know, just kind of people say that all the time. I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah, people feel like they know us. Like, they know our whole life. And he was like, is it weird that, like, I know so much about it? Like, he was like, because we're sitting there for like three, four hours, and he was a cool kid, nice guy. But, yeah, it is strange, I guess. My answer to him was like, eh, it's just kind of normal. I guess I don't want to think about it. Yeah. The reason I guess I say that, like, obviously people know more about us because we share so much more on the podcast about, like, our personal lives. But the podcast audience is a lot older. Like, young kids don't listen to the podcast. And I often find that, like, young kids know more about me than I do. They remember everything and they know what we've done every single week for the last eight years because they watch the videos religiously on repeat where I completely forget about it one week later. And so I just meet so many younger fans that know so much about me and I have a hard time believing that they also listen to the podcast. I don't know, it's oftentimes like an older demo for the pod. I love when people tell me that they watch the pod. yeah i mean it's my favorite thing to hear dude i feel like they it would help like if you were like hoping to meet someone and you were like let's say you didn't want to embarrass yourself at said meet and greet and if they had a podcast you'd be able to tell what their mannerisms how they respond how i respond when you guys say something to me and vice versa and so i mean yeah definitely like not just your stories help us get to know but like literally like learning the way we respond what makes us laugh everything a lot of fun i can't believe we've done over 200 podcasts like when you're bringing up the first podcast i remember it like it was yesterday i remember you like not talking much myself kind of the same and like having our l table and and and all the thoughts we had so many thoughts coming into it you know all right boys it's got to be good we gotta you know keep it moving and we were overthinking a lot of it but maybe that was for the best because now we're locked in on it mike is getting another bowl cut at a million Ideally, if we could hit that right before Ben's wedding, so he looks ridiculous for Ben's wedding. Oh, that would be amazing. August? We'd have to crank on that. People at home will have to crank on that. Yeah, definitely. Giving you a little homework. Yeah. You've got to crank on it. We've been talking about all this cranking. Spenny's getting excited. And what are they cranking on, Ryan? Hogs. No, I think the subscribe button. The subscribe button. The subscribe button. And your hog. Go home. Rev up your motorcycle. Rev for Spenny. can we talk about that one uh thing you sent me the idea like would it be exposing the idea if we talked about it the one where they're like holding the hands oh in theory you're gonna kind of realistically are we ever gonna do it yeah we can talk about it i'll just live on edge until it happens i don't care you know i don't know oh now you can't do that you can't do that i don't know Oh, man. You know, have you ever? Okay, fine. I'll pull it up. So Jack was telling us about this kid who goes on 50 dates in 50 states, right? And then Ben was on TikTok and sent me this idea, obviously, with our one single friend, Kenjamino. And basically, the idea is that I'm going to pull up on the screen here. Perfect. My name is Evan. Do this. From Cambridge. I'm feeling very nervous, excited. I also just turned 42 yesterday. My name's Misty. So these people don't know each other. And they're going to have to do a photo shoot together. And then they see if they fall in love after. And they don't get to see each other before. Oh my gosh. We want to do this with Ken. So awkward. So awkward. Could you imagine how perfect this would go? I love it. It would go so badly. No, Ken, you would be a superstar. This is made for you. I'm Evan. God, what's funny is his name's Evan? He's from Cambridge. That's where Evan's from. I thought you were from Cambridge, Minnesota. No, Cloquet. Cloquet, sorry. So it's like a first date. Yep. Except it's a photo shoot, and they're acting like they're in love. And then they see if they're in love after. They do look happy together. They do. They're just like cosplaying being married. Or kitten and cake. Oh, shit. They got to get close. What the fuck? They're just hugging? That's such an awkward hug. Yeah, it's very awkward. It's almost like they've never met before. But it would be hilarious, dude. It looks like they've never hugged before either. I don't know. I mean, interesting. It's a lot more awkward. The transitions are really throwing me off. I like the dating stuff. I always think it's fun when we have our single friends and we try to find them love. If you just look at the history of TV shows, there's a lot of dating shows from The Bachelor, Love Island, Flavor Flav, his show. Like Kid Rock had one or whatever his name was. Brett Michaels. Brett Michaels, yeah. I think it would be great. How do you feel about it? Awful. I feel awful about it because I know there's going to be some other kind of twist that gets thrown into it. Always is. I don't know if there's a twist. There needs to be a twist. I think we're just trying to see what comes from it. Yeah, I think we should do it with Ken. There's so many crazy dating shows. Well, who else are we going to do it with, Mike? I think we run it like parental control. Do you remember that one? That would be good, too. We could remake a bunch of shows like that. That would be funny. This is way beyond your time, Ben. That one where the parents watch the date, and at any time they just hit the buzzer, and then, like, get rid of the girl or the guy, whatever side the parents. I don't think it's at any time, no. So they come into it disapproving of their current significant other, and they curate a bunch of other dates. And they do three dates, and then at the end, it's up to the kid to decide who they like. They take it up with the parents, and the kid decides, and then they either sometimes stay with their current boyfriend or girlfriend, and then the parents are like, oh, and it's just so awkward. Because it's like, imagine you're just like a high school kid or just out of high school, and you're dating some girl, and the parents are just like, oh, you're dating. him right in front of you i'd be like all right well this isn't gonna work then they throw you on a tv yeah but it was like it was pretty fake but but there's one now where like so they take i think there's four or five couples that have been dating anywhere from a year to five years and then they go to two different villas all the guys temptation island yeah all the guys go to one villa i haven't watched it but it's so plugged in dude it's insane it's insane and it's that villa is full of girls single girls that are just like hi with the guys yes holy shit this is a wild show other villa the five girls that are in current relationships are at a villa full of you know eight guys single guys holy crap that would be nerve-wracking it's to test their relationships but then obviously like some of them stay kind of strong some of them just fully cheat it's just a cheating show yeah and they actually cheat and it shows on tv like they hook up so yes the guy holy crap that's why The guy and the girl that were dating for five years, the guy cheated right away. First date. Then they sit down at the fire the girls do, and they watch the footage of what their boyfriends did. Some of them didn't do anything bad. Some of them, they literally watched them cheating, and then vice versa. The guys do that. They stay in the building. Then is the girl like, I'm going fucking wild now. Then basically the girl watched that happen. She's like, well, F this. We're done. Then they can go into a secret area, and the red light will go off at the other villa. if anyone's in there and then the guy's just like i know that's her i'm like well and they're all like dude fuck her that's so lame and like he's literally the one who just cheated on her yeah dude she's being lame and obviously the producers are just loving that shit so they're married no no oh okay i was like that's crazy just but yeah like couples but yeah i mean you had the one that they were dating for five years from 18 to 23 and then they go on the show Nobody ends up together still. Oh, really? Everyone just breaks up eventually? There was one couple that I saw that ended the show together. Wow. You've got to wonder how many are real couples, though. You've maybe got some girl who's your friend, or you're just kind of hanging out, and you're just like, eh, we could do this and be on TV. Crazy concept. Crazy concept. It's a good concept, but yeah, crazy for sure. Ken Island. I like the sound of that. Ken's love island. Ken Island. They have to fight for his love against each other. He's the Bachelor. Sounds like just a normal Bachelor. It sounds like Bachelor, but he's just not. Way better. Ken is like. I could see it, though, because the Bachelor is kind of lame. They don't do that much fun stuff. Yeah, I know. Spice it up. Yeah. Would you do the Bachelor, Ken? Fuck no. Really? Why not? No. It only takes like 21 days or something, like 30 days. I don't know. We would miss you. I would miss you, but I'd let you do it. I don't know. I think those shows are kind of lame. I just think they're chick shows. I can't watch The Bachelor. But would you be on it to date some of these girls? I don't think I'd ever do it. I couldn't. I love that. I'm not going to be on a show for girls. No, it's just I think they're kind of lame. Cheeto. Yeah. Cheeto would be a good word to describe it. So if they reached out, you'd say no? Yeah. If our agent lined it up and they offered you. I would say no. They offered you $100,000 to be on the show, and you have to be on the show. It takes 30 days to film. I think I would still say no. I think it's pretty cheap. There would be a bunch of chicks that would like you. You would be more famous, a way different level of fame. Ken would be getting exposed left and right. TMZ talking about him doing something. What if they were all 48-year-old women as a whole? I still think it's... I just couldn't be on one of those shows. I just don't like the concept. I don't know. It's just not for me. I think dating shows are whack. No, I'm not saying they're... I'm not saying they're like the most legit thing, but. Well, we could probably call the agent off of it then. I think she's been pushing for it. It's almost like every single one of those shows, they all end up breaking up or whatever, like once the non-disclosure period ends. It's like every single one of them. Well, Ken, I think it's more so for the clout and money aspect. Maybe we could see if we could extend the NDA in turn extending the relationship. Yeah, what's the rate of people on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette that actually stay together? Yeah, I'm looking it up right now. It doesn't prove if it's right or, you know. I think people do the Bachelorette and the Bachelor for love. They do it for the clout. They don't do it for, every single one of them does it for the clout because then, like, one of the people that doesn't get selected but makes it pretty far in, they're the next, like, Bachelor or Bachelorette. There's 10 Bachelor and Bachelorette couples together. And how many seasons? They've done, like, 40 seasons. It's pretty low odds. Yeah. Not good. It's definitely not the best. Okay, it's an 18% success rate on The Bachelor. The Bachelorette is a 19% success rate. And the Golden Bachelorette is only a 20%. What percent of marriages stay together, though? 50. I think less than 50. So that means it's not that far off. I think nowadays it's less than 50. 30% swing. Less people are getting divorced because people aren't getting married as early. They marry people they actually love not out of circumstance. I can see that. I thought divorce levels were higher. First marriage is about 30% to 45% end in divorce. 60% plus of second marriages end in divorce. And third is 70 plus. That's when you know it's just you. It's your fault. Wow, so that's interesting. Technically, a standard marriage has a higher success rate than The Bachelor. But shit, throw something at the wall. See if it sticks. Because your second one will be even less likely of working. CJ, don't talk him out of it. Oh, sorry, no, I thought he was just talking about marriage. No, he's talking to Ken. Well, your second one's going to be even less likely, and your third, so I don't know. That's all they are. Well, you could change the tune and go for love. We do actually got to start wrapping up. Oh, Bachelor, that's actually here for love. That could be your whole slogan, Ken. He's not even here for the TV. He hates the show. He doesn't actually want to be on TV. I already have plenty of it. someone who doesn't want the clout, just love. And you said we got to... We do got to wrap up, otherwise we're going to start losing cameras. Where are they going to go? Fair enough. They're just not going to record anymore. Fair enough. Our cameras are starting to union. Well, it's been real, boys. Thanks for joining us and laughing with us. That was a lot of fun. We got the Octane Fest coming up. Last weekend of the giveaway is this weekend. It's done. Damn. All right. Well, thanks for everyone who got entered. And we'll see you next week. Subscribe if you haven't. Throw us a comment and we'll talk to you then. Peace. Thank you for that send off, Michael.