This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center. Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. Armstrong and Getty. And now, here's Armstrong and Getty. It's Friday! Woo-hoo! Deep within the bowels of the Armstrong and Getty communications compound. And today we're toiling under the title of the show, You Don't Want Vance in Your Pants, or Discouraging and Annoying, the Hillary Clinton story. What? It struck me that dragging her in to testify for hours about something she knows nothing about was just discouraging and annoying. And it occurred to me that like every chapter, her presidential campaigns were discouraging and annoying. What? Her entire career, her presence on the American scene has been discouraging and annoying at every turn. Looking around at the televisions, lots of headlines. Lawmakers to grill former President Epstein ties, Bill Clinton. Never happened before. And as I heard, I just heard one person point out, and I'm sure this is true. This is the problem with all this norm-breaking that we're doing, is the other side gets to do it too. The Democrats take the House. You know they're going to subpoena Donald Trump. Now, the sitting president, I remember this, because we've been through this a million times, it's believed you can't do that with a sitting president, but it's never really been challenged. So nobody's positive whether you can do that with a sitting president. But anyway, he'd be out two years after that, And I guarantee you, the moment he's out of office, if the Democrats have the House, they're going to do the same thing to him that they did to Bill Clinton and bring him in and force him to answer questions. And Don Jr. and Eric and Melania. Oh, right. Right. All of them. Oh, my God. This is so far from over. I know. When I heard somebody say that, I thought, oh, of course that's what's going to happen. Oh, my God. We got to live through that. Yeah, I don't know if the old man will still be kicking at that point. But, yeah, you're right. This is just the new thing. Yeah. You don't think he's going to live two and a half more years? He's old. He's very old. I realize that. Yeah. Anyway. It's iffy. Oh, my God. Oh, what are we doing? What are we doing? And I know some of you because I see the texts every day, and I have plenty of friends that really think there's something there in the Epstein files. But if there is, I don't think we're going to find it out from bringing Hillary Clinton in and talking to her. And I don't like Hillary Clinton. And I don't like Bill Clinton. But I just don't see what we're doing other than just your normal point scoring partisan making the other side unhappy thing. That is right. Right. You know, right. Exactly. The other side is that the Democrats will not pass anything Trump proposes, even if it's something they have been advocating fiercely for for the last five decades because they can't, quote unquote, give him a win. I mean, it's just so dysfunctional. Sorry, we're cheerful. Yay, it's Friday, like a minute and a half ago. I am cheerful in my real life. I'm not so much about the news cycle. Right. Now, I do think it's interesting. I was watching one of my afternoon news shows is a podcast that doesn't air anywhere on any television. The world has changed so much. It's one of my go-to shows every single day. Mark Alperin has his own TV show on YouTube. not on any channel with lots of great guests every single day and it's among the best news shows that exists i don't know how many people watch it seems to be quite a few anywho um he says all his sources close to clinton's and he clinton bill clinton and he's got a lot of them are really worried about whether bill clinton has got the ability to handle it today he he must be in kind of early biden territory where he has good days and bad days mark halpern is asked actually asking one of the Democratic strategists, like, if you went in, would you go to his house today early? And like, you know, hit him with a couple of questions to get a sense of how he's doing, if he's having one of his good days or bad days, and if he's having a bad day maybe, you know, claim illness or something like that. I thought, wow, that's really interesting if it's at that point. Yeah. I don't... Who knows with bill i mean bill when it comes to women bill clinton documentedly is capable of practically anything oh it's a little strong but i see it directionally i agree with you depends on whether you believe what's that one woman who uh constantly tweets wanita broderick oh yeah yeah yeah so what what are we even allegedly trying to learn through this grilling that's what i was thinking the whole I thought, can somebody please tell me what you're trying to find out exactly? Yeah, you're trying to find out if this will work to shore up your numbers. The Republicans can act like they're serious about Epstein. The Democrats can continue acting as if they're serious, even though when they had all the branches of government, they did nothing, didn't even ask the questions. This is one of the most ridiculous political monkey dances. Kabuki theater, whatever. I've ever seen. Because I would watch a monkey dance. I might watch that several times. But the sound turned up really loud. Then I'd send the link to my kids. But when they put out the Hillary Clinton six-hour testimony? Seven-hour testimony from yesterday? Who are you people who are fascinated by this? What is it about it? Ain't nobody got time for that. Did you think Hillary was going to say, all right, you got me. I'm running, child. prostitutes out of pizza places and then we eat their entrails for dinner and it's a worldwide cabal run by the Jews! Good lord! Come on! We got a republic to run here and we're dealing with the wackadoodle fantasies of like 1% of the population. Well, there's that version that's way out there, but then there's the version that a lot of my less crazy friends seem to be into of just lots of powerful men have sex with underage women and get away with it, and they cover up for each other. I don't know that I feel like that I believe that that was going on. Like at a level of we all know we're doing this, we're all having sex with underage women and covering up. I just, maybe I'm naive. No, I think that's a moral contagion. It's happened before in England in the 1800s it happened. And I do think they're like partying with Russian models and having sex and stuff like that. But I think the vast majority of them, if they were told, by the way, she's a 17, would run screaming from the room. It's an utterly unnecessary risk. Yeah, there's an untoward thing going on. I'm not going to convince anybody, so I'll shut up. There are untoward things going on, I'm sure. So then I flip on MSNBC this morning and they're going on and on about, man how about the way hillary clinton just owned the republicans embarrassed them yesterday i thought what are you basing this on you haven't seen it either so i don't what are you talking about all right if that makes you feel good and your audience feels good about how hill hillary clinton owned them even though it's behind closed doors and we have barely any reports about what happened i don't think it's a coincidence that all of us run into people in our lives increasingly you say, you know, I've kind of checked out of the news, which is one of the reasons I treasure our non-adherence to what the lemmings of the media are reporting on or talking about. Because often, it's not what people want to hear. It's not what they need to hear. It's not what's important. Well, it's right, but it's interesting that even the mainstream media that I guarantee including NPR, which I just heard driving into the radio station. They hate the Republicans and Trump. But I'm looking at CBS's tweet right now. Former President Bill Clinton will appear before a House Oversight Committee in New York as part of its investigation into convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. Okay. Where's the meat on the bone, though? There's no second paragraph. Usually in a story like that, the second paragraph would get really interesting. He's being accused of or something like that, but there's not. No. No, I think the power of the Epstein thing is that it is so many different things to so many different people as we discussed several times And I don but I befuddled by the never fixation on it Well, it's not over yet. Like I said earlier, Donald Trump will be subpoenaed and asked to do the same thing the Clintons are doing right now. Clinton, Clinton, Clinton, the Clintons. The Clintons? Clinton, Clinton, Clinton, the Clintons. I heard that same woman doing her report on, I don't know why I can't remember that news channel. News Nation? News Nation this morning. Same reporter doing the same thing. Bill Clinton. Yeah. Clinton. Clinton. Clinton. But my oldest son does that, so. Tell him to stop. Tell him, son. If you want a roof over your head, you'll pronounce T's in words. You know more young people than me, Katie Green. Non-negotiable. Newsperson Katie Green, you know more young people than me. Do you have any idea why they started dropping their T's? I think this happened after me. I don't know why, but I agree with Joe. Tell him to stop. You need to start pronouncing your T's. Yes. Or you will be sleeping in the yard. I remember the first time I ever heard it. It was in a Cage the Elephant song, a rock band I enjoy a great deal. Still waiting for the explanation was the line. And I'm like, why does he say waiting? Is that a Southern California thing? Because they're an L.A. band. Well, there's a particular British accent, the Cockney accent, where they drop their T's like that. Right. We're not there. We don't live there. Nope. But I would have always thought that... What are you, Cockney? Pronounce your T's! Is it even calling it a dialect? It's like a version of a dialect. I don't even want to know what to call it. Linguists might have to call it an affectation. Okay. Like the dropping of the R's in the Northeast. That was just something they started doing among the rich classes back in the day. Right, but we all assumed, I think, I always assumed, like the Cockney dropping the T or the, you know, I saw her yesterday from the Northeast. Hello, Governor. That it's like, you know, hundreds of years old and that sort of thing. But no, now that we've lived through a couple of these, up talking and dropping the tees, some cool influencer just comes along and does it like a Kardashian or something, and everybody else just starts doing it. It's not quite as I always thought it would be. Well, it's instantaneous now through the internet. Yeah. But I suppose the same version happened in the Northeast in I don't know what year, but some wealthy hottie stopped saying, yeah, I saw that yesterday, and they caught on the fact, oh, the wealthy, haughty socialite says R's at the end of some words. Let's all start doing that. And drops them at the end of others, right? Right. Right. So I'm probably going to have to live through like 50 more of these before I'm dead. Yeah, probably. I'm not sure I can take it. Probably. And, you know, with the modern age where everything happens so much faster, yes. Okay. But, Katie, you'd probably do this better than me. an up talker with vocal fry who drops their tees talking about the Clintons. Yesterday, hang on. This is rough. Yeah, I know. I'm throwing a hell of a challenge at you. This is like landing a quad. Yesterday, we had to sit here and listen to Hillary Clinton. That's pretty good. Oh, you're killing me. I hate myself and you for making you do that. Oh, that was so good. That was good. Thank you. That was horrible. We've got to start the show officially before we run out of time. We've got a good one for you here. I'm Jack Armstrong. He's Joe Getty on this. It is Friday, February 27th, year 2026. We're Armstrong and Getty, and we approve of this program. I got a shiver like someone was breaking into my house. I had a fight or flight response to that. Same here, and I did it. Wow. All right, let's begin the show officially now, according to FCC rules, regs, at Mark. Call it a whopper of an announcement from Burger King. The fast food giant is making its first major changes in a decade to the iconic burger. The company says the Whopper will have a softer bun and creamier mayonnaise, and it will also be served in a cardboard box instead of being wrapped in paper. Burger King is making the changes after years of customer complaints. The revamped burger will roll out this week in more than 7,000 locations across the US. There you go, that's the news of the day. I myself have softer buns, so... That was weirdly sexual. I do not like the phrase creamier mayonnaise for some reason. We'll have to follow immediately after the softer bun references. We'll have to revisit that later. Now you're going to do the paper box like McDonald's? You're giving in to your competition. Anyway, we've got Katie's headlines coming up in a little bit. Stay here. Armstrong and Getty. Hey, Katie Green, I just sent you your KG on my text. Katie Green. I just sent you another headline to throw in. It's funny. You're J-A in my phone. Jackass? Yeah. A lot of people. A lot of people. Didn't say that. Alright, there are three headlines in this text message, Jack. The one in the middle about FedEx. Because I think that's really interesting. When you two are done, we can proceed with the program. My God. Alright, let's figure out who's reporting what. It's the lead story with KG. Hey, K. Alright, the main headline, of course. The Clintons and Epstein. ABC, Bill Clinton faces questions from the House Oversight Committee and its Epstein probe. NBC, Hillary told lawmakers during closed-door testimony that, quote, she never met Jeffrey Epstein and MS Now. Clinton says Epstein Committee asked about UFOs and Pizzagate. I don't like this norm going away because you go back a few years, you would have had the Democrats bringing George W. Bush in to explain Iraq and beating him up with all kinds of questions. And accomplishing nothing but scoring political points just like we are trying, the country's trying to do now with other presidents. I don't like it. I don't know. Maybe it's a good idea. Maybe they have to come back in and speak to their, you know, bring in Barack Obama to explain, I don't know what, running guns across the border or Obamacare or who knows what. You could make a transparency argument, but I kind of agree with the first thing you said. From NBC, FedEx says that it will return any tariff refund it might get to shippers and customers who paid them. How about that? One of 1,800 companies that's already sued. FedEx is going to start giving money. How much to who? What a complicated mess. From the Washington Post, Anthropic rejects Pentagon terms for lethal use of its chatbot Claude. We're going to talk about that later. From the New York Post, stunned upstate New York mom gives birth to massive, record-breaking baby. Quote, we didn't expect this. Well, because it's got three heads? You got to give us a hint. It was a 13-pounder. Ooh. Oh, I was picturing multiple heads, but it was just the weight. Okay. That thing was a bass you'd mount it on your wall. I mean, 13 pounds. Holy cow. Good Lord. Study finds three tablespoons daily. How peanut butter improved muscle power in older adults. I'll be darned. I do that. I have that much peanut butter every day, so I'm in good shape then. And finally, I think the Babylon Bee is on to something here. Genius dad joins TikTok, causing teenage daughter to think it's lame. Oh, that's funny. Oh, there was some interesting testimony yesterday in the social media trial. So the plaintiff woman said she was spending 16 hours a day as a kid on Instagram. Is that a problem with a big corporation or the parents? That's what we got to figure out. 16 hours a day? Wow. How do you let your kid do that? Anyway, we got a lot more on the way. Stay here. Armstrong and Getty. There are a bunch more headlines we need to get to. Something J.D. Vance just said about the Iran war. U.S. mortgage rates fall below 6% for the first time since pandemic era. And a bunch of other stuff, so stay tuned. Yeah, excellent. First, before we get into that and much more, I mean, holy cow, what a news day it is. Let's take a fond look back at the week that was. What a week. It's Cow Clips of the Week. The Supreme Court's ruling on tariffs is deeply disappointing. They're very unpatriotic and disloyal to our Constitution. I think it's an embarrassment to their families, you want to know the truth, the two of them. We have two aircraft carrier strike groups more than 100 cargo planes And we hopeful that we able to come to a good resolution without the military It turned very quickly All we heard was gunshots. Several cartel members were killed, including El Mencho, the head of the new generation Jalisco cartel. A deadly gun battle off the coast of Cuba. Four people killed aboard a Florida-registered speedboat. But if we will give him all he wants, we will lose everything, our houses, our lives. We need her to come home. For that reason, we are offering a family reward of up to $1 million. In New York City, meanwhile, the police are investigating an incident you may have seen online. In Washington Square Park, officers were pelted by snowballs. Joe Trostein for the Clintons, former President Bill Clinton, former Secretary Hillary Clinton, she says the Clintons, the Clintons, Clinton. I'm afraid the issue is not my understanding, but rather the problem is perhaps you've gotten adjusted. I'm in love with my A.I. boyfriend. And then some time passes and they pop back up again. And here's the catch. They act like nothing happened. Watch it, cause it comes. Jeff Hughes wins it. The golden goal for the United States. I love the USA. I love my teammates. I'm so proud to be American today. I'm like you. I'm no better than you. I'm a 960 SAT guy. And that's why I titled my book, I'm Like You, because I'm like you. I didn't write it because I don't know how to read or write because I'm dumb and s***. If you agree with this statement, then stand up and show your support. The first duty of the American government is to protect American citizens, not illegal aliens. Nobody stands up. These people are crazy. I'm telling you, they're crazy. It's Clips of the Week. Yeah. Everything's theater all the time. So, Pakistan is at war with Afghanistan. Yeah, so they say. An actual war. Like, we're at war right now. Pakistan and Afghanistan. Yeah, that's what they say. Doesn't seem like it could be a fair fight. Pakistan is a very big country and a nuclear power. Afghanistan is the Taliban. Yeah. Yeah. Pickup trucks and AK-47s and all of the gear Biden left behind. So they have some pretty good gear. Right. Go ahead. Kill each other. Kill the hell out of each other. Yeah. No kidding. That's a good point. Or don't. I don't know. Knock yourselves out. Yeah. Long battles with many dead among your military, not your civilians. Much more concerned with our coming conflict with Iran. Some of the backlash to that idea has begun, saying that the administration is exaggerating how far along Iran is in both its nuclear enrichment, its readiness to build a bomb, and its missile program. I don't know. Well, we've had past administrations go the other direction, exaggerating how contained they had it. Indeed, yeah. I certainly wouldn't want to wake up one day and Iran announces, hey, we did it. We got a nuclear weapon. Because, man, would that change the balance of things. Better to nip it in the bud, says I. Vice President J.D. Vance just told the Washington Post and in an exclusive interview that there is, quote, no chance that such strikes would result in the United States becoming involved in a years-long drawn-out war. I think that's probably true, given Trump's inclinations. although you could get pulled into it in a way that, you know, step by step, it's hard to not. I hope that doesn't happen. I wish there was some consensus. I'm reminded of what I've been told about back surgery. Not that I need it, but a doctor once told me about a third of people get better, a third of people are the same, and a third of people get worse. I don't know if that's still the case, but this sort of strike without a long-term what's-next plan, Feels a little like back surgery to me. On the other hand, not to torture the metaphor, but doing nothing, I think, is not a good medical plan at this point. We can't. As we've discussed, I think in this particular case, the what's next is almost guaranteed to be less dangerous to the United States than the current. Even if it goes to hell, because it's hell now. can you explain to me why so many why so many headlines over the last couple of weeks about this story and then the final headline today is there a reason I should care about this at all Paramount finally closes blockbuster deal for Warner Brothers so much news coverage on this and does this matter to any regular person am I missing something I was just going to ask you I was scrolling through the dispatch which generally has five big stories. Here's the stuff you really need. You're a serious consumer of the news. You're looking at this in the morning. Here's the five. Number two is Paramount wins Warner Brothers fight. Right. I remember a couple weeks ago when the Paramount deal has fallen apart. I can't even imagine why. Give a crap. Who owns the streaming company and what umbrella it's under. I don't know. Maybe I'm missing something there. There might be some significance to the historic Warner Brothers movie. Blah, blah, blah. pipe down, baby. Anyway. We just heard a random voice in our ears. I don't know where that came from. Yeah, I think it was fine. Anyway, no, I don't have the bandwidth, as they say, which is annoying. Speaking of which, coming up, Perfect Friday topic. What business jargon do people find the most annoying these days? I'm in so few meetings, thank God, that I wouldn't know. Yes, Katie? Oh, it's just on the Paramount thing. They own CBS. So that means that CBS would get new owners and that could put Barry Weiss maybe. That's kind of interesting. Yeah. Because I was kind of excited about that experiment to see how it would play out. Paramount wins Warner Brothers fights. So that's good for Barry. It is? Okay. Yes. And that will keep her in place? Do we know that? Yeah, Paramount is run by that gal. I don't remember her name because I don't care about this story very much. who believes CBS had gone way too woke. Oh, okay. Because there was a lot of talk that the Barry Weiss thing was just to get the deal done to look like they were not, you know, whack job organization. But if she stays in place, good. I'd like to see where that goes. Yeah, again, this is very close to asking a non-hockey fan, why did they just blow the whistle? I could guess, but I don't know. I'll tell you one of the most interesting stories going, and Joe touched on it earlier, with AI's Anthropic and the Pentagon. But I'll tell you about that right after this. Yeah, speaking of AI, I mean, this is an unequivocal good story that SimpliSafe, with their Active Guard Outdoor Protection, has AI-powered cameras that are backed by live professional monitoring agents to monitor your property, detect suspicious activity. And if there is suspicious activity, they don't, like, ping your cell phone and make you deal with it. They deal with it. The live agents can talk to the would-be intruder before they get into your house. They can alert the cops. They can turn on spotlights. It's really amazing. And it's also amazingly affordable. Yeah, I got the cameras and the sensors and all the stuff from SimpliSafe, but this is what's really impressive. No long-term contracts or cancellation fees. Most of your home security systems, you've got to sign up for a year or two. And they lock you in and get the monthly payment, and you just kind of don't really use it. You don't know if it's doing you any good, but you've got to keep paying for it. Not with SimpliSafe. Monitoring plans start at about a dollar a day. And again, no contract. 60-day satisfaction guarantee. And right now, enjoy 50% off a new SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring at SimpliSafe.com slash Armstrong. That's SimpliSafe.com slash Armstrong. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Love this headline from the Washington Post. The hypothetical nuclear attack that escalated the Pentagon's showdown with Anthropic. Apparently, there was a behind-closed-door meeting the other day between Anthropic and the Pentagon in which our government, I guess, is looking at using AI to get... Soviet Union or China or somebody fires nukes at us out of nowhere. What's that called? There's a name. The blue sky. The dead hand. No, the blue sky option. Just out of the clear blue sky. That's the biggest threat with nuclear. Commie bastards! And blue sky is pretty unlikely but that the one you got to be prepared for Just out of the clear blue sky all of a sudden you get attacked You didn see it coming And having AI involved in that maybe it could detect it faster than human beings could and we could react and all that sort of stuff. The Pentagon is claiming, or leaks about this, are claiming that they asked Anthropic, and Dario, the guy who runs Anthropic, Like, so would your AI respond with a counterattack or whatever? And that the answer was kind of wishy-washy, like, well, we'd have to think that over, or you'd have to give us a call, and we'd have to discuss it. Like, seeming like a little not on board with being part of violence in the military. And the Pentagon freaked out. Anthropics claiming that's not at all. That's a lie. That is not the way it went down in the hearing. We've got more of the reporting from the Washington Post on that coming up. But what an interesting scenario. If AI, for some reason, was put in charge of that, but it decided, no, it's not the right thing for humankind to get into a nuclear war, so we'll just not fire back. I don't want that. Interesting. I was thinking more in terms of the obvious. It misreads something and launches our own blue sky attack. Well, the hope would be that it would be better at reading it than human beings have been. Because sometimes in the past, if you're a fan of near-nuclear holocaust, you know that this has happened in Russia and the United States, where we misread various things. And thank God nobody responded. It's also, it would be a heck of a deal if one of your major, major, major civilian partners had a veto over every use of its technology. It's like Northrop Grumman, is that it? you know, or whatever, a giant defense supplier could say, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't be using our F-18s to attack Iran. That's not, there hasn't been enough provocation. You haven't gotten, given diplomacy enough of a chance to work. So that's obviously completely untenable. The other thing I want to mention briefly, and we can pay it off next hour, is one of the proposed titles of the show today was, you don't want Vance in your pants. and that has to do with what appears to me to be a hell of a substantive long overdue and ass kicking policy of we're going to root out all the fraud in the giant mess of an entitlement scheme we have. Wow. Because the more you read about this and I don't often bring it to the show because it's a little esoteric and in the weeds which is redundant. Sorry. Oh, we have programs where if a state spends a dollar on something, on something medical, the federal government will give them six dollars. So the states are like, holy crap, let's just make stuff up and have fake diagnoses. And anybody who has so much of a runny nose, let's claim they got this. And we're just getting pilked as taxpayers. And J.D.'s heading up the commission to get to the bottom of that. I love it. I hope it's more successful than the Doge Boys, but it's in a similar spirit. I wonder if you could get AI into the federal government and its tentacles go out there trying to, it needs to justify every dollar spent and they could do it at a speed that human beings could. Four-word question, Jack. How soon can we? Yeah, wouldn't that be cool? Okay, we've got email on the way and lots of stuff. Stay here. Armstrong and Getty. This Washington Post exclusive story about the Pentagon and Anthropic, and Anthropic is the AI the Pentagon has decided to work with. If it's true, the Pentagon threatened Anthropic. Either you play ball or we're going to take the technology that you have. Oof, wait, what? I know. More on this in hour two. Pete Hegseth, out of control, apparently. Shocking. Here's your freedom-hating quote of the day from communists or about communists. One silly and one great. This is from Gideon Defoe, who's an author. I don't know anything about his book, but this is just funny. Here's your first problem, he said, pointing at a sentence. Religion is the opium of the people. Well, I don't know about people, but I think you'll find that the opium of pirates is actual opium. It's a book about pirates, I guess. I don't know. I just thought it was funny. And much more significantly from the brilliant, the invaluable, the wonderful Ludwig von Mises in his book, Omnipotent Government. And I quote this, I'm going to get this tattooed on my, I haven't decided which body part. Show some real commitment. How about we go with neck? Can we compromise and do a neck tat? Every step which leads from capitalism toward planning is necessarily a step nearer to absolutism and dictatorship. We take steps like that all the time. Including the Trump administration, certainly. And I don't like it. Mailbag. Woo-hoo! Drop us a note. Mailbag at armstrongandgetty.com. Perhaps your brilliant missive will be read on the air. For instance, this one. Sarah writes, Guys, can more of the show please be Katie speaking in vocal fry, upspeak, dropping tees, etc.? We need much more of that. Yesterday, we had to sit here and listen to Hillary Clinton. Devastating. I just made myself cringe. Wow. I make myself cringe all the time. You'll get used to it. Practically my life story. Curtis here in Santa Rosa, California. Here's one of our local Safeways. Same one that only has one exit now, so you know what's escape is more controlled. Looks like the Reverend Al Sharpton, Reverend in quotes, was finally right about something. They are locking up the toothpaste in Santa Rosa, California. KBYTO, keep buying your toothpaste online. Yeah, virtually all products are locked up in vast swaths of California, and it's spreading across America. Insane. Yeah, yeah. In red states and places I never dreamed it would happen. They're locking up my toothpicks. Yeah, I know. Somebody mentioned that to me about one of the red towns around here the other day. They said the first time they ever went to their CVS in one of these red towns around here, and things were locked up. Yeah. Crazy that we put up with that. Lawlessness spreads, and once it's here, it's a war to get lawfulness back. Sleepless and Danville writes on the topic of fortune cookies, which came up at some point. One of my father's favorite jokes. We'd go out to a meal, a succulent Chinese meal, and he would slowly open his fortune cookie, read it, raise his eyebrows, and exclaim, it says, help, I'm a prisoner in a fortune cookie factory. That's pretty funny. A fabulous running dad joke for the family. Oh, I wish I'd have done that when my kids were younger. It'll still be funny, but it would have been even funnier when they were younger. Every single time we went out to dinner when I was a kid, and he kept doing it after I was an adult, every single time my dad would get the check and do it. Oh, yeah. Double take. I've always done that. That's fantastic. You got to do that. Oh, my God. None. Right. Let's see. That's hilarious. You know, I'm going to save this one for later because it deserves a longer answer. Punch the monkey, more like Damien the monkey, He writes, Bridget Scrumer in Healdsburg, California. Other than being a great band name, there's more going on than a poor little monkey and a stuffed animal. I'm with Joe when I say there's something wrong with that monkey and the other animals are clued into it. Perhaps someone needs to part their hair on his sweet little head and see if the number 666, the mark of the beast, are present. This all falls in line with the AI takeover at the end of days and makes perfect sense that the Antichrist monkey would show up right now. Have a good weekend. The Antichrist monkey. Yeah, sorry, I haven't read that chapter of the Bible. Well, maybe this weekend I'll get to it. A number of people brought up your sweating when you eat ketchup, Jack. I'm sure. Why wouldn't that? What about other tomato products? Pizza? Nope. Ordinary plain tomatoes? No. What's the sweat factor on that? Keep being wet and gross. I like the show anyway. And then we got this, and we'll end with this one, I think, from Matt. The ketchup oddity is interesting, but a small village in the north of Sweden has many folk who don't feel pain. Vitangi, a village in unpronounceable Sweden, is known for its unique resonance to exhibit congenital insensitivity to pain. The condition, also known as congenital analgesia, is a rare genetic disorder that affects the ability to feel pain or temperature. Wow. That's interesting. Must have been some serious inbreeding back in the day. Right. It's a terribly dangerous condition because, you know, you got your hand on a hot burner and you wouldn't know it until you got no hand. Or you're about to freeze to death. We got a lot more coming up in our two. Hope you can be here. Armstrong and Getty. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.
