The Auschwitz Survivor Who Chose Freedom | Dr. Edith Eger

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She chose love she chose forgiveness and Most importantly, she chose freedom So today we're here to honor her by sharing her words with you one more time or maybe for the first time and If that's you I want you to know that you are about to hear something that could genuinely Transform your life for me this episode is a gift and she is and was a gift Dr. Edith Egger, thank you for everything you gave this world. You will never be forgotten Well, what would you like people to know about you and how would you want to be I'd like to be known as someone who did everything in her power Everything to see to it that it will never happen again I'm into prevention. Yeah, I don't ask why me I say what now Why is a past oriented world a problem oriented world I like to deal with the present and Think young So when a man takes me out and he's trying to figure out how old am I I'm gonna ask him to take me home Because if he's into numbers He's not my man What should he be into I? think he would be interested in Perhaps What really Gives me joy. What is that? Joy in my heart Like I have joy Knowing that I have three children I have five grandchildren and seven great-grandson All son great-grandson all sounds no Yeah, so I think it's good to really Know that how many people ask me write a book write a book write a book and I would say Automatically I have nothing to say. I have nothing to say I Have a lot to say yeah, and so do you and you're committed to Really change The people who don't think that they matter Because they'll never be another you You're one of a kind Diamond I see it in your eyes, you know, you're very precious. Thank you You're very very precious and I know many people probably have changed because They knew that what they're doing now They are revolving not evolving What does that mean revolving not evolving you're evolving that you go back and do the same thing go over and over again and Expect different results repeating the same definition of insanity Someone said that said Einstein I think right yeah Yeah, I'm curious Now you have seven grand-grandsons, right? Seven grand-sons I think are the two twins the two-year-olds are those the youngest grandsons You're young yes, so there's 93 years Ish between you and your youngest grandsons I And they come with their head because they know I'm gonna kiss it I love that I Don't know other people who kiss that that's beautiful. That's great But I do I'm curious what is the the the you know they At this moment they don't know the type of life you've had right not until they're a little older Will they understand the stories and hear the stories about your whole experience from what? You know their great-grandmother went through and how you overcame so many challenges and obstacles and how you became a member of society for hope and inspiration. I'm curious if If you could share three lessons with them to set them up for their life I what would those three lessons be I probably would tell them That I will never forget what happened I Don't know what means to overcome I Don't think I I don't know exactly what that means, but I came to terms with it I call it my cherished wound cherished wound. Yes. I Cherish the wand That I learned in the classroom of our Schwitz How does someone learn to cherish their wounds with something is so tragic You don't appreciate what you have until we lose it See if you take me out to dinner and you might do that take me out to lunch I Think I'm gonna eat up my food and Then I'm gonna pick up your left over And if I don't do that, I'll take it home. I never waste any food I Never leave food on my plate or You Do something with it and I give it away You know, why do you do that one time? I had a party and I had a lot of leftovers and I went out and I I Saw someone at the corner waiting and I gave them the food Why do you why is that something you do? I told you know, they must be hungry. Yeah, but they didn't want food They wanted money So they threw it back at me. I don't want your goddamn food Give me money Right What's another thing you'd share with your grandkids your great-grandkids? but right now they're too young to listen to anything but My great-grandson are 15 12 and 10 and they're very interested in Grandma and I And I'm very interesting Person to be with I have a lot to say Not what happened. It's what you do with it, right? I think the coming to terms with the cherished wound It's like creating meaning around what happened, right? Exactly the existential vacuum Victor Franco used to Refer to that and it's very important To know that it's not clinical depression. Why do people get that confused? Yeah, well, I had two paraplegics both coming from Vietnam same symptomatologist same diagnosis Okay, and one of them was in a kind of a fetal position. Why me? How could anyone do this to me? Blaming God is blaming you name it the country of course Conversely the other one said to me Same symptomatologist same diagnosis same prognosis He said to me hey doc I Was wearing a white coat and it said dr. Eger department of psychiatry Okay, he says hey doc I'm so grateful That I sit in a wheelchair because I can reach my children's Much closer. Oh my goodness. Can you believe it? And I can and reach the flowers much closer and I felt like a biggest imposter Because I had a 16 year old in me that I ran away from I really wasn't qualified to take them further Because I have not taken myself Wow, you know, I went to school and I went to school and you know, I became dr. Edith E. Waiga But I never really did The work and really the healing work back to Auschwitz When did you go back? I? Asked my sister to come with me I'm Probably in the 70s or 80s and she told me I'm an idiot And that was the end of that my sister Coming with me and I went alone and today the work I do to revisit the places where you've been To relieve that experience, but then you revise your life Relive the experience and then revise your life exactly rewrite the story not going back. It's a new beginning Wow So when you went there what opened up for you? What what did you feel out of sadness and pain or is that where you started to? I was Angry and I didn't know what to do with anger I Ran from it, but I was angry. I was mad as hell And I have to find a way to Turn depression into expression What happens if we continue to run from anger in our lives we just build it up It doesn't go away. You can't run away from it. You cannot run away. It's better to face it Not fight it or run from it now So I did go back to Auschwitz and today the work I do That yes, I hold your hand and we really visit your little room Your little comb The whole way and you're holding my hand. I'm taking you out of there Wow, because that was then and this is now and You can find it little boy in you the little girl in you and by him and ice cream cone and Because that little boy is crying What happens if we never? Revisit the little boy or girl inside of us. I'm resolved grief Wow, and I think that's what therapy is It's all griffer not what happened What didn't happen right because I remember when my grand-duder asked me to buy her a beautiful dress Which I am very good at buying good dresses So she could go to Bishop's school to a dance And I come home and out of the blue. I'm crying They were the understand I didn't understand what's the matter with me. I Just bought little precious Lindsay a beautiful dress. I think it was a Laura Ashley original and But I realized that I'm not crying because Lindsay is going to the dance I cried because I never went to a dance Mmm So I think that the unresolved grief Is important To make peace with so when something like that happened for you or happens in any of our lives What can we do to face it? And I have a photo on my phone of myself when I was younger Right, it's to that little boy exactly to go back into those places that were wounded and Have a conversation and I and I talked to him and I Reflected the feeling Yeah, rather than talk about the feeling let him feel it what we do in America We we're hearing but maybe not listening It's very good to repeat what you hear and they tell you whether it's true or false. I think it's very important to To Write your book So you said anger is something that's not the primary emotion It's not the primary when someone someone feels anger. What is it? They really feel? fear afraid of what? Fear of being found out that Your true self is it fear of being found out your true self is not Lovable or not enough or you're you're never gonna amount to anything or it's never going to know it's gonna accept you You're a fake. Oh wow Do you think everyone feels that way at some point in life? I think it's very seldom that a person Never regresses anything I think it's important to acknowledge That you say to yourself If I knew them What I know now Mm-hmm. I could have done things differently, right and that's it. That's the end of that. That's it That's it. But why do we hold on to? The pain so long and why do we shame ourselves and beat ourselves up emotionally? Because we didn't have the knowledge when we were five or ten or sixteen or twenty. Maybe we didn't have good role models That it's okay to feel any feelings without the fear of being judged There is no right feeling or wrong feeling. There is only my feeling And underneath of anger is Feared so it's very good to write on all your fears from the least anxiety Producing to the most anxiety and then we knock them down Because you were not born with fear. You were born with love joy and Passion I love that you say this because I feel like I'm full of passion. You are you're feisty you're fine Yes, I love this idea of writing down your fears and then knocking them down Now come down down because you were not born with them. You learned it. Mm-hmm What when did you start to knock down your fears? How old were you roughly I think I was 16 in Auschwitz and I developed inside Something that I cherish today My inner resources that I don't look at like life from outside in And I give up my need for other people's approval. You did that when you're 16 You give up your need for other people's approval then exactly This is a paid ad for Shopify You know those moments when you have a idea that you're really excited about but the second you start thinking about Everything it takes to build it it feels like a ton starting something like your own podcast or your own business can feel pretty lonely at first You're wearing every hat and every day comes with decisions that matter That's why having the right support system makes such a difference and for a lot of people that Shopify Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of brands worldwide including names like Mattel and Jim shark It gives you a simple way to get started without overcomplicating everything You can build a clean professional online store with ready-to-use templates that match your style and there are built-in AI tools that help Write product descriptions headlines and even improve your product photos It also helps you manage things like inventory shipping and returns so you can stay focused on what you're creating turn your big business idea into reality with Shopify on your side sign up for your one pound per month trial and start selling today at Shopify dot co dot UK That's Shopify dot co dot UK. What does that do for you when you give up the need? Give me my true self You're authentic express yourself that I am my own good mommy To me. Yes, and then I ask is this empowering me or depleting me? Mm-hmm If I'm gonna have alcohol, I'm messing with my brain So you're not gonna do something to try to Look good in front of others and try to make others like what the neighbors think about us. Yes Wow, I think very important for children Especially for the father to be a good role model to the children The way he treats the children's mother his wife Mm-hmm. How should the father treat the mother specifically your voice When you're angry in English you start the sentence with you You How stupid you When you hear you you're gonna be dumbed on and you say to yourself The longer they talk the more relaxed I become you take the negative stimuli turn it immediately into something positive I think there is a Mexican psychiatrist Who wrote a little book that is very valuable? And it's called the four agreements so good. Don't take anything personally don't take it It's so powerful how does someone learn to not take it personally if someone's saying you did this and you're stupid and you're How do you learn to just be peaceful around? I know better That's what you think And this is what I feel And man are not taught to Feel the feelings They talk about the feeling they analyze the feeling They medicate the feeling Rather than just feeling the feeling A good cry What comes out of your body? We'll never make you ill but stays in there does mm-hmm like posture now you have to Get it out get it out So that's how I'm in it out scream it out in the car in a pillow scream yeah cry and Then left like a hyena and you feel better laugh like a hyena. Yeah Get it out shake it out. How should you know a wife be around her husband with her kids? So what is happening the husband comes home? And the wife already knows just by looking at him that there is something going on But she doesn't say anything because he doesn't say anything either Because he's scared if he's gonna say something things are gonna get worse She's scared. She's scared. They both care, but they don't really sit down Which is that which I do really to make them really see what's really going on But Don't the line if they don't do that They will miss passion and life For sure I Don't know what else right now to think of Passion joy joy and passion for sure. Yeah, so if you want joy and passion Have a fight But pay attention how you finish a fight how should you finish the fight? That's right that you can agree to disagree That not I'm right. You're wrong. I'm good. You're bad Yeah, we're human we do make mistakes And we have a good talk about it and hopefully learn from it. So we won't repeat it, right, right? And you worked with Victor Franco too, right? Didn't you work with me? I worked with Victor Franco very much I remember we were in Germany and we danced together dance together. Yes Was he a good dancer? He said something is this the last tango? I think it was Regensburg or one of those places Where we had our conference I'm Victor Franco was Like you a kind of a Renaissance man He was taking flying lessons When I met him he was in his 70s. Wow, he died when he was 92 But He was truly my mentor What was your biggest lessons from him that he taught you? the logo therapy logo means Finding purpose and meaning in your life It's called the existential vacuum that most people are called clinical depression No What is clinical depression a thing or is there a way to get out of it without medication? Yeah, well we pathologize We pathologize too much. I Think it's it's very good to Make the diagnosis that Doesn't have to Pathologize like I'm sad I'm scared, you know to use the language that it doesn't have to go to Diagnosis and medical medicine is important you know we have our blood and That needs to be Hopefully valid then did too. Yeah, we have our environment But the way you respond to the other two I Have a choice To respond or react and you react you don't think How does someone learn how to pause when there's an event when there's a trigger? Take a deep breath and if that doesn't work take another deep Keep breathing until you react because you cannot change what's outside of you The environment the event what occurs Powerless But you have power the way you choose to take the negative and turn it into positive Because suffering makes you stronger suffering His part of life Is there a way to minimize suffering in our lives You learn from history so you won't repeat it That's why it's good to write a book Write a book People told me for years write a book write a book and I would say I have nothing to say I have nothing to say But then Phillips in Bardo one morning calls me and says, you know, you do the people who survived and Our famous our old man We need a female voice And that's my book to choice right a female voice of Victor Wow, it's beautiful You mentioned I want to ask you about the fear the fears again writing down a list of your fears and then knocking them down What happens? Internally when we start to knock these fears down and we over replace it with something else See when when you're in a car and you have to switch gears You know, it talks to you the car So what you need to do is switch gears and release the clutch What are you holding going to my definition of love is the ability to let go Don't live in a past you cannot change the past That's one thing you cannot change is the past I Don't live in a past. I don't forget it or overcome it That's why I call it my cherished wound Because part of me was left in Auschwitz, but not the better part not the bigger part How do you reclaim that part from that you go back to that place and you can do it in your office With a gestalt chair Put them in that chair tie them up and Beat them up. Sure. Yeah Wow, how could you do this to me? I was only eight years old, you know, and you get it out Scream it out and beat them up If we don't get that emotion out then we're the ones that suffer, right? Yeah, because forgiveness has nothing to do with me forgiving you for what you did to me I don't have any godly power at all But I do have a power To look at everything that happened Into an opportunity for an opportunity and That was Auschwitz The biggest classroom the most important one I have gone to Wow So do we need to forgive the person that? Created the pain do we need to forgive ourselves? What is harder? I think we create At time when I give you my self permission is a very good word Give myself permission To let go of the pain And replace it with self love Which is self care, which is not narcissist You Yeah, so give yourself give myself permission to let go of the pain from the past permission is a key word And then replace it with self love, you know if I could meet dr. Mangala now I really wanted to meet him and I found out where he was But I never really ended up meeting him in person He went to South America most of the Nazis went through the The Roman Catholics Somehow helped them to go through Them to go to South America Yeah, what would you have said to him? If you could have met him, what would you have said to him? I? Would probably tell him I have no idea what I would have done if I would have been in your shoes You must have felt very powerful Sending my mother to the gas chamber Because he asked me is this your sister or is this your mother I Still want to cry when now That stupidly I said it's my mother because I could not forgive myself That if I would have said my sister She won't have gone to the gas chamber But then I had to Recognize that I Did What I could you did the best and I did the best I could yeah, so forgiving yourself And not to judge yourself You got to you got to really truly do the work yeah That's powerful I'm curious suffering is Make you stronger how much I'm asked for it. I don't want suffering You don't you don't need to ask But it happens Recognize that it's temporary. Yes, and you can survive it So you become your own good parent. Yes, are you a good parent to you? Uh-huh now I am Yeah, after a lot of the healing work Now I'm a very good parent to myself. Yeah, I feel a lot of peace inside. I didn't feel that for years. Yeah You say what you live Yeah That's good. Yeah, it's a constant journey. You know, congrats. Thank you. Thank you This is a paid ad for Shopify You know those moments when you have a idea that you're really excited about but the second you start thinking about Everything it takes to build it it feels like a ton starting something like your own podcast or your own business can feel pretty lonely at first You're wearing every hat and every day comes with decisions that matter That's why having the right support system makes such a difference and for a lot of people that's Shopify Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of brands worldwide including names like Mattel and Gymshark It gives you a simple way to get started without overcomplicating everything You can build a clean professional online store with ready-to-use templates that match your style and there are built-in AI tools That help write product descriptions headlines and even improve your product photos It also helps you manage things like inventory shipping and returns so you can stay focused on what you're creating turn your big business idea into reality with Shopify on your side sign up for your one pound per month trial and start selling today at Shopify dot co dot UK that's Shopify dot co dot UK But a lot of your you know the first time I interviewed you I was really inspired by how you Shared so much wisdom about how to not take things personally and how to reinterpret when someone's saying something to you Just say that well I actually you're saying the opposite to yourself of like how you love yourself and how you're generous and kind so I really appreciate that You know just a very simple question Whatever you're doing now You ask how is it working for you? Yeah, is it empowering you or depleting you? And I'm curious about potential you know the potential that each one of us has as human beings yes How much of our potential is? Limited or blocked or shut down if we do not Learn to heal the different traumatic moments of our life Can we still reach our potential if we don't face trauma or is it good to be limited I? Think we're gonna be chronic victims and every time you are a victim you're gonna find the victimizer Or you fluctuate between victim becoming victimizer and It's very important to think About What you're gonna say before you say it mm-hmm whether it's important whether it is necessary and Whether it's kind mm-hmm if it's not kind Is it important is it necessary as a kind it's kind yeah If it's not kind you just not gonna say don't say it How do we Create a life where we don't become victims where we Are empowered no matter what happens even if there is a Something that occurs in life an event that feels like we are a victim How do we turn it so that we aren't a victim? Because I feel like being a victim is disempowering you cannot be a victim without a victimizer If you're a victim you always gonna find a victimizer Or you fluctuate between Victim because victims are weak and victimizer Saves our strong so part of the psyche will identify with the aggressor That's what we call a Stockholm syndrome Is there moments in life where we should be victims or is it never a good time to be a victim I think It is anything good I never see myself That my identity would be being a victim. I have no room for that in my life I'm not a victim. I was victimized It's not who I am. It's what was done to me very different very different That I miss I mean as a son right Because yesterday's victims can easily become today's victimizer Mm-hmm. That's true I'm sure you know a great deal about that Tell me Well, I mean I was I don't know if you know this but I was sexually abused when I was five years old by a man That I didn't know a babysitter's son and he was probably 16 17 and I've talked about this many times on my show, but for 25 years. I was angry about it I held on to the anger the frustration You know and I wanted to get back at people and I wanted to I always felt like there was an Abuse happening to me like people were abusing me in life that was kind of the wounds that I didn't heal and When I started the healing journey ten years ago I really allowed myself to let that go and forgive myself and forgive go through the rage all of it Yeah, I mean it was a process cannot forgive Without going through the rage. Oh, I went through it. Yeah, and you know and When I thought about it, I was like, okay. Well Maybe this child maybe this go to therapy Uh-huh ask your therapist to sit on you to sit on me. Yeah, and don't let You get up you have to fight your way up and Get them off of you to him. Yeah, but good. Yeah That thing get out. Yeah, there is a difference between revenge and forgiveness. Yes revenge gives you a satisfaction momentarily very momentarily beautiful is said forgiveness Gives you freedom So I had to go back to Auschwitz To that lion's den and look at the lion in her face to reclaim my innocence To assign the shame and guilt to the perpetrator not on yourself. No Yeah No more I'm free. Mmm Did you feel free from that moment forward or did did you have to go back a few times and really let it out more? I think it's a lifelong process. Yeah, really I didn't have to go back to Auschwitz. No, not Not at all. I Want of the things I was asked by physicians Which was interesting? Have I ever saw birds in Auschwitz? Never saw birds. I never saw birds in Auschwitz. Why is that? I guess the smell Birds are probably pick up the terrible smell. Wow How long were you there for again? Do you remember I was there from May until December? It's a long time Yes You know my daughter called me from Auschwitz and she said I'm wearing a fur coat I'm wearing boots and I'm freezing. What did you do mom? Oh my gosh? I Said I didn't have any boots. I didn't have any fur coat. I Had a little flimsy little something and I did what I Needed to do how did you keep your spirit strong enough to survive that it's temporary You told yourself this is temporary. I don't like it. It's inconvenient and Don't say but and it's temporary Because after all it is temporary. Yeah, I don't know where we're going from here Wow, maybe I'm gonna meet my mom and You see what I miss that I never had a mother do the talk After that When you get married you talk to your mother about sex about money about in laws I don't know what I have any of those conversation. I didn't have what do you wish your mom would have told you It just for me not to fake anything to be my true self You know my mother told me that I'm glad you have brains because you have no looks you know that and so I became a very erudite Person I had my own book club. I had the interpretation of dreams by Freud when I was 14 You're a very different than nowadays children I'm not really As curious I Was always very curious What's gonna happen next that I'm gonna go from here? You're very curious and I think the curiosity Help me to survive The curiosity curiosity Well, I'm glad I'm a curious person then you know, I'm always asking questions and very curious Sometimes you Jewish You know if you ask a question and you answer it with a question How are you? How do you think? I like that so something happened this weekend and you were Contemplating whether you wanted to come here. Yeah, and we got a message yesterday that you weren't gonna come But then you did want to come and I'm so sorry for your loss about your sister From this weekend and I and I want to know Why you wanted to come here after your sister is passing this this weekend To bring you my true self That I'm grieving and feeling and healing My sister is with me the spirit never dies And I hope I'll be happy in my dead bed and I'm not gonna ask What the world has given me But you and I are going to probably ask how can I Contribute to the world That makes us Human beings getting together and see how we can empower each other with our differences You can be you and I can be I And Just empower each other You do it your way. I Do it my way when we think about The perspective of what will the world give me versus What can I bring to the world into humanity? Yes? Why do some people think what what will the world give me and what is the trap? Behind thinking that way versus how can I be of service to the world? they're givers and takers and Hopefully I am a giver and I will do less blaming and Pushing myself for more and more and more You know, I just do the best I can and that's good enough. Yeah Good enough is good enough Have you been blaming for a while? I I have been maybe rough on myself That I could do more than I'm doing But I am forgiving myself That I Give and do the best I can to yeah, I do get up in the morning and I do get life as one day the morning sunshine will not come back and and Very comfortable at 95 Hoping maybe that I do what's humanly possible. Yeah, and then hand it over to God. Wow, it's beautiful I've got a few more questions. I want to ask you But I wanted to ask the biggest lessons that your sister taught you because you've both experienced a very Tragic event and for many months together You both, you know learned to heal and you came together and you've you know, you've had a great experience with her Would have been the what have been the biggest lessons that she taught you because she was your older sister, correct? My older sister. Yeah, I was the youngest in the family and the most charming right in the family I Think my parents really wanted a son after two girls and I came along and that was not What they wanted and I felt it Magda Was a very good survivor she was full of jokes We always talked about food that's all we talked about food I think She stopped really living And It's been now perhaps Many many months or maybe years That she gave up her piano She gave up her piano lessons And she gave up bridge She was a brick bridge player. I think she played with Omar Sharif, but I cannot guarantee But Mike there has been Extremely brilliant with numbers So what she did in school? She did your homework But she didn't want your money she wants you to bring her food Rosebeef sandwich Fried chicken Fried chicken was always very good my mother bought little chickens and it was so delicious Or Hungarian salami Have you been to Hungary? I haven't been I've been to Poland and other places in Europe, but no I'll have to go yeah, I think the Hungarians are Good survivors What's the thing you're there is a song in Hungary that the woman is is Best when she's beaten up Wow, it's not very kind Yeah, wow, yeah Hungarian women learned How to deal with men and give them complicate compliments even when they don't deserve it So women are wise not smart, but wise how to Go through the man's stomach and make him the food that he likes like a certain rosebeef That you make in Hungary and style Or the chicken with a lot of paprika on it and garlic on it I make I make a very good garlic chicken You do I make it next time next time I'm in San Diego. I'm gonna get some Tell me and I will I'm there for the chicken. I'll do I'll do the chicken the chicken and a dance with you. Okay. Yes This is a paid ad for Shopify, you know those moments when you have a Idea that you're really excited about but the second you start thinking about everything it takes to build it It feels like a ton starting something like your own podcast or your own business can feel pretty lonely at first You're wearing every hat and every day comes with decisions that matter That's why having the right support system makes such a difference and for a lot of people that's Shopify Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of brands worldwide including names like Mattel and Jim shark It gives you a simple way to get started without overcomplicating everything You can build a clean professional online store with ready to use templates that match your style and there are built-in AI tools that help write product descriptions headlines and even improve your product photos It also helps you manage things like inventory shipping and returns so you can stay focused on what you're creating turn your big business Idea into reality with Shopify on your side sign up for your one pound per month trial and start selling today at Shopify dot-co dot UK that's Shopify dot-co dot UK What would you say is the thing you hold in your heart? Dearest about your sister the thing you'll you'll take with you that humor Yeah She had a lot of humor lot of humor about Man and women I Didn't have at all And I don't have that kind of sense of humor. You've got a great sense of humor Yeah, I do what different different. Yes I have a question about Your your your secret to living a long healthy life and with experiencing pain tragedy trauma loss sadness You you continue to thrive in your life. See when you were touched inappropriately You probably would have come to me and say Idi I don't know how to tell you that because you went to Auschwitz And my answer would be I knew the enemy Little Don't minimize it You have the right to be angry But not to hold on to it or live by it you gotta go through the rage Scream it out Yeah, but don't get addicted to it don't do anything in excess Drinking smoking right Raging yeah Rage is fear. Yeah And the biggest fear of a child Is the fear of abandonment? That is important Especially in midlife that is not the crisis but a transition You don't have your periods anymore, but you know who wants to have babies anyway, no problem But I work with midlife issues a lot on the daily basis And it's it's a new beginning yeah, it's a new beginning You become older and wiser Not all done. Say no, right So you're gonna write another book Yeah, working on another book which has a lot of Teachings about healing in the book as well. So I know we're coming back But that's that's part of the vision, but I'm I'm curious for you though What do you feel has been one of the keys to living a long healthy life and with Challenges and try to lie to yourself Not to Not to try to please other people Give up the need For approval of others I think that's number one If you like me fine, if you don't that's okay. It doesn't mean I was rejected Rejection is an English word that people make up To express a feeling when you don't get what you want Give up the drama. Yeah No one can reject me That's true don't say I was rejected nobody has any power But you can reject yourself you can and that's the biggest betrayal if you do it to yourself you better Have a talk with yourself Find that little boy who is still crying I'm looking for a good Loving parent. Yes. Yes And be a good mommy to you Do you feel like you've been your spinach Do you feel like you've been a good parent to yourself over the years I Could have been better But that two questions are important Number one when did your childhood end? If you're the child of an immigrant You end up taking care of your parents. You never had a childhood. You never had a childhood Very important the second question is Would you like to be married to you? Yeah, that's a good one. Yes, you gotta reflect people to us themselves. What do people say usually? It's up to you. Mm-hmm. Who do you attract? That's true That's true. Is there anything else you'd like to share today anything else that's opening up for you that you want to talk about My 95th birthday party when is it? What was a couple weeks ago? Wow? I was thank you 95. Thank you Feeling alive 95 Feeling young young young energetic passionate. That's right dancing. Mm-hmm Celebrating So the question is how you can you turn life into a constant celebration? Mm-hmm I love that. How do you do that? Every moment is precious Never throw out a piece of bread Mm-hmm only buy what you eat Yeah, cook for yourself Don't go to a restaurant so much Because it has a lot of salt and a lot of sugar. Yeah It's so good Cook cook yeah cook for yourself And enjoy every moment in life That's beautiful don't procrastinate and get rid of perfectionism I Love those. Yeah, you're human. You're gonna make mistakes. That's fine. Mm-hmm You've got a couple of amazing books the choice and the gift which I'm a big fan of and I know for years you said you didn't have anything to write about but those books are incredible I Highly recommend people getting them Oprah loved them as well and you know I shared them out and talked to you about those It's really impacted a lot of people in life So I really appreciate and acknowledge you for how you continue to thrive how you continue to serve and give back to so many of us In our lives, so I really appreciate and acknowledge you Thank you, Dr. Either for your your service and your wisdom your joy I Want people to get your books. We'll have it all linked up for people, but you also have a course Which is really inspiring as well. Yes, we have a wonderful course and I think we Have now about two thousand people who signed up, but I think it's very important Hopefully for me To write the book for teenagers. Are you gonna be doing that now? I would like to do that I'd like to really see that teenagers can become Ambassadors That's beautiful ambassadors for peace teens of the future and goodwill Yeah, I think we need to take the children seriously and Have conversations with them that is age appropriate. Yes. Yes, I Can't wait for that book. You have to let me know so we can have you back on for that as well Exac the course I know you have a free course about forgiveness As well, so I want people to get the free course and we'll have it all linked up on your site absolutely, eat of the egg or calm and Forgiveness has a great year to do with letting go Letting go So my definition of love is The ability to let go Yeah Whenever you're holding on to let it go Yeah Not not going back and you'll begin So your pregnant and you're gonna give birth to the you That was meant to be free Freedom is everything Freedom from the concentration camp that is in your own mind And the key is in your pocket Wow That's a part of your free course that people can get right now And then if they want even more you've got your advanced course unlocking your potential So I want people to get both of those. That's beautiful. Okay. I have two final questions. Do you have time for two more questions? Sure. Okay. I believe I asked you this last time But I want to ask you again And it's called the three truths question So it's a hypothetical question question is all subject exactly Exactly exactly so I want you to imagine a hypothetical scenario for whatever reason You have to take all of your books and conversations and courses and work With you somewhere that we don't have access to your content right and All we have access to are these three truths these three lessons that you've learned in your life That you'd like to share with the world What would be those three truths that you could share if you could only share three things and we wouldn't have access to any other Content you've created. What would be those three truths? suffering Makes me stronger Become your own good parent to you And find your little child in you who is crying and Asking for a good parent and you show up for that child the little boy the little girl And how anything you do ask yourself whether it's empowering you Or they plead you Is a three-power and don't say just this time nobody's gonna find out you know I'm gonna have this drink Yeah, is it empowering or depleting you know whether it's really Important that you become your own good parent. Yeah, that's beautiful and then But that you're going to act upon it or not Positive thinking has nothing to do with anything Unless it's followed with a positive action That's beautiful. Well, dr. Edith. I want to acknowledge you. I appreciate you for how you continue to show up How you continue to serve how you continue to give that's what it's all about You're joy your generosity your attention your time and your wisdom so I really acknowledge and appreciate you I'm so grateful for you and I can't wait to have some some chicken from you soon That's right. I'm gonna come and get some chicken probably. We're going to have chicken together but most of all we're going to be colleagues yes and I Recognize that none of the academic knowledge. I really does any good Unless you really have the knowledge of your life's work That you chose Not to be a victim or the victimizer ever. Yeah, that's beautiful My my final question. What's your definition of greatness? Is to show up for life There you go. Thank you so much. Thank you appreciate you. Thank you I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad-free listening Then make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel Exclusively on Apple podcast share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple podcast as well Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved You are worthy and you matter and now it's time to go out there and do something great The all-new all-electric Toyota chr plus Sleek stylish and quietly reliable available with 0% APR representative with 1500 pound deposit contribution and save 1500 pounds with the electric car grant Get that Toyota electric feeling visit your nearest Toyota Center Gemka Enfield Price from 34495 available on tow to PCP 1 finance to Toyota financial services by 30th of June 2026 Optional final payment and damages may be required see website season C supply