Freestyle Dancing

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Even Black Lou agrees. He agrees so much he's shaking the camera nodding. Do you have, would you buy a big dick if you could? Yep. Yes. Wow. Tomorrow. Cartoonishly big. It would make me understand why women in porn do dumb shit where they're like, I'm gonna get quadruple fucking k-tits and they're like this and they're a bird in their whole life. Give me the burden with it. I'll say, Tim Dillon, I want to take this, Tim Dillon's thought that made me laugh so much about when people are saying, Ozempic and M'Jar and all these things are dangerous and scary and we don't know the thing, he goes, well, I've already done it this way. He's like, I've already done it. I've done life the fat way. So, you know what, let's say we can get to this thin way. However we got to get there, you know what I mean? It's the same thing, like, I've done life with this fucking regular old pud. Now let's do the one, I want to have a girl be like, I'm sorry, I'll jerk you off, but you can't put that in me. I'll go, yeah, I get that sometimes. It's really a massive dick, you're right. Isn't it weird that they can make a vagina, but they didn't put enough effort? There wasn't enough people trying to go the other way to put it, to make a fucking massive, beautiful dick. No, I assume the dicks they make on a woman becoming a man, I assume it's gnarly looking. It's Frankenstein looking. I assume it's like a baby bird died like a week ago. You'll look like that, like early decay baby bird carcass is what I think. I've never seen one, but I have to assume that's what it would look like. Have they ever shown, we've looked at it, we had to. We had, we looked it up. What it looks like? It's Frankenstein-ish. It's not there yet. The surgery is still experimental. You know what it looks like? It looks like an old stalking for Christmas. Yeah, it looks like a homemade leather case for a knife. Oh, yeah, it does. It looks like a custom knife case. Oh, come on. Why can't you, if you're gonna put- So I was gonna say my point on this being about, okay, I get it, my point was made. All right. Oh, my point was, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to go that far. What I just saw, I'm never gonna unsee. My point was they can't make a dick yet. No, they can't. But they also can't make a pussy that good either. For how bad the pussy is, I'm not blown away or they can't do the dick. What you thought by now was there would be a way to really, functionally, easily make your dick bigger. I think that if there was more people that wanted it, look, here, they just did wigs for years. Technology came in, they started, they were like, wait, a lot of guys, there's money to be made here. The monies, they don't understand how much money is the veneers. People just got dentures. Now people get brand new teeth, brand new lips, tits, everything. Kate, something, this is a good conversation, Bobby. This is really good. And you're making great points completely. The difference is with those places you're talking about, people are willing to let go through links because they're not afraid so much of the situation that they're dealing with. So with hair, people will try getting parts of their back of their neck sliced off and then plant it in the front of their head and have them individually plug little sprouts of hair in their head and do all kinds of crazy shit. To check your lips, your tits even, your ass, people, even when they go to the tech. Listen, if one person, there is, there's one positive review out there of a person who's gotten dick-bigoting surgery out there, a guy who's gotten like whether it be a pump or something, there's one positive review of it. If that wasn't the dick area, that would all be all it takes. Yeah, but what I'm saying is this, in all these fields, there was sacrifices made. Right. There was shitty tits to begin with, shitty lips, shitty teeth. No one's going to give it their dick. You go, I'll at least take this, like, what if everything goes, hey, if you're bald and you're trying to get hair, if everything goes, hey, Wyr, you're still bald. Like, if I fuck up my dick, because I tried to do something, now my dick is also fucked up in the same dumb size it was. But there's guys- There's too much risk for us for war. There's guys out there that it doesn't matter as much. I'm not saying get a young 20-year-old who's got, you know, two decades worth of banging in this system. There's guys out there that we could step up to the plate that you're pretty much done. The micro penis, though, will never be corrected. Okay, so yes. That can't be corrected, but I'm saying you're talking about just guys, like, guys in the average dick range who are like, man, I really wish I had a fucking whopper to whip out. Guys in the average dick range who are kind of done with their banging years, maybe you step up, be in the forefront of this, for the next generation, for the kids. You say I'm getting picked myself. No, I'm not saying you. You made yourself in that genre. I still think you have a couple years of banging left. No, no, no. Oh, I understand what you're saying, but I think there's somebody, some guys out there are like, look, man, I'm done with this anyways. It's an average size pack. I'm kind of done with it. I'm going to let me, let me do this. Make the mistakes on us. But the older age will still make the decision to get hair and still get the decision to maybe do a facelift. All right, so add here. Because you're not afraid of what the possible go wrong is. It's so much scary. If you're like, if I lose my dick altogether, I would, damn, how much will I be spending my whole life going, I wish I just had my regular old dick back. How about this? If you lose your dick, then you just get a vagina. There's like a backup plan. Okay. There's a backup plan. So, hey, if things do go wrong, because we're trying to, we're trying to see if there's something here. And then if it does go wrong, we're going to just give you a vagina. You have a vagina for the last 10 years of your life, last 15 years. This is why we have these brainstorm sessions. This, this right here is the reason. Because you have to do the work. You have to have failure to have success. If you've ever listened to Sly Stallone, 100 failures to get one success. So we got to get somebody to step at the plate that's got, yeah, we're going to fail at this, but we're going to, we're going to get there. Hair transplants now are amazing. Teeth are amazing. Vaginas are getting better. They're just neglecting the dick. Full disclosure audience. And I'm glad we have a buffer day in between. A lot of dick talk today. Sorry. No, I've listened. I think this conversation is fantastic. I love this. Christine, bring up pictures of micro penises. This, I feel like there's no room in a micro penis to do any work. Take it off your thigh. I have a dick. I feel like it was like something should be able to be shoved into it and pulled out. That's not that mic. Is that mic or that's not micro? Can I tell you something? If my dick would get as long, when my dick soft and I stretch it out, if my hard dick would be that long, fantastic. Yeah. But my fucking putt. Man, that might be the most me looking dick. Well, now my dick's not three inches. That's crazy. Man, I really must have fucking body dysmorphia, dude, because honestly, I was like, I think that's how my dick looks. The top of it. Yeah, but I mean, there's no way. That's nuts, dude. That's only three inches. Christine, you're bringing up children's penises. Can you? No, that's a micro man's penis. This is a medical condition, Bobby. People get it. You're bringing up children's penises. Well, there's no sound in the videos. Hey. Hang on, Bobby. I'm looking at the picture. Yeah, you like Uncle Jay looking at it. You like Uncle Jay looking at it. This is getting crazy. What? Stop, stop, stop, stop. Take that off. I want that little boy to come in my face. What? What? What did you just say? You know what the fuck I just said? I did not. I said, I want that little boy to come in my face. The hit song by DJ Lou. Roy. I want that little boy to come in my face. I want that little boy to come in my face. I want that little boy to come in my face. I sure do. That's the one that's going to take us down. Yeah, it's so weird. That's the one. That's the video that's going to come up. After you blow up and all the stuff you're doing and you become, you're on like a hit movie, and you got like a, like a some type of three picture deal, that's the one that's going to come up. Once we get life changing money eyes on the show, we're going to be in a lot of trouble. Sure. Yeah. Oh, I raped and fucked those children. I mean, that's just one of our producers who said that. That's not even us. That's not even on air talent. Everybody's done. Everyone's going to get a taste. It's probably going to make Skankfest a lot cooler though, that like one of the owners now is actually in more trouble than Lewis has ever been in. For the terrible racist thing she said. Well, I don't think they're going to talk about the child rape. Probably not. Jesus Christ. Well, not now. Probably not. They don't like to talk about. They don't. No one loves talking about it really. Nobody does. Nobody wants to talk about it guys. Nobody does. Why are we not talking about the child rape? We're not going to talk about it, Christine. No child rape? It's three inches of micro penis. Wow. That's a question that came out. I don't know. It's a small one. Well, when you looked up micro penis, that's what came up. I thought micro penis. I've seen micro penis where it's like an actual like, not just that, but it's like a little, it looks like when a, you know, when a kid is born without a hand, but it still has little fucking like they believed like a hand was going to grow. And it never did. And it never did. So it looks like skin tags. Yeah. I've seen people have like the micro penis where it's like a skin tag sticking out of their fucking body. Yeah. There's different levels. Really? I wonder what the, the, yeah, what does it say? There's got to be a thing, you know? There's got to be a range. Levels of micro? Yeah. Well, no, I'd say it's probably micro and then just a small, right exactly. That's fucking, that's. Yeah, but that could be a grow. I can't imagine. That could be a grower, not a show. It definitely is. I mean, but first of all, I don't think it's real. Oh. Is that real? That's not real. Oh, I thought it was coming. I thought it was coming. I think that's, is that fake? Well, we're watching here's a micro penis. All right, well, hang on a second. Oh, that got big. Yeah. Yeah. It did get big. Yeah, that got nice and big. I think it's AI. That guy to find penis. I think that was AI. Those testicles didn't move too well. We always want to believe it's AI, don't we? I, I. I've tried to tell myself that black dick was AI since the 90s. It is. And everyone's like, AI's not a thing yet. I go, you'll see what I mean. It can't be real. I think they're alien penises. I think black people are aliens. Yeah. And they're, they're from a different planet called big dick. That's not a micro penis though. No, that's got some stuff. That's a fucking micro penis. And I'm telling you, on Burk Rischer's cruise, dude, two guys pulled that dick that were just like that. I just had the exact same emotional reaction when I saw it. I go, stop taking pictures. Yeah, they're like, well, the Asian guy from Hangover has a micro penis. That's making my wiener crawl up in my body. It's making mine crawl out. I got to get it back. Yeah. That's regular. Regular. Micro. Micro. Well, regular. Regular. Micro. Regular. No. Regular. Regular and a micro. And a micro. Micro. Oh, this is, he used to be fat though. He has the fat, the underneath the skin that never hasn't seen sunlight in 10 years. Oh yeah, it's tender. Yeah. Yeah, that's been a fat roll for all of his life. Oh boy. And look at it completely shading his weird colored dick and balls. Gross. It is gross. Somehow grosser than wanting that little boy to come in my face song. Somehow. Little boy to come in my face. Where's my camera? Jumping. Little boy to come in my face. I want that little boy to come in my face. I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me. If we could tell Paco with that, because I'd like to work on a video for the song and we just did the thing they do, like when people show up for the rap, for the rap video shoot and they just like sing along to a boom box with it. So they just have that footage of them. Yeah. When they do the song. We just did that. We did. We just did. I think we nailed it. And I think there'll be other times when we bring it up again, we'll maybe get it to be even a little more animated. A little bit. But that's when Paco's here and we know the Osmos are following the right thing. I'm pretty sure it's just filming my diet, Dr. Pepper. Couldn't get it to move. And find me. It's not on the mode. He didn't put it on the mode. It is not on the mode. It's not on a gimbal mode. Oh my God, I did see we have to give a big congratulations to comedian Sebastian Manus Calco getting his own channel at Sirius Action. Oh my God. And a new show. He's got a new show. What is it? What's the show going to be? Eggplanting around? I believe it's called the Sebastian Manus Calco Show. Oh. What was it? Too many mooks with Sebastian? What? What was? I think a fun name for a show. Formerly the Pete and Sebastian show now it's the Sebastian Manus Calco Show. Oh, they fired Pete? No, still with Pete and Sebastian. Oh. It's just being rebranded. Shut the fuck up. Is that true? Yes. Yeah. It's still Pete and Sebastian, but it's called the Sebastian Manus Calco Show. That's right. Is Pete still on it though? Yes. Yeah. Oh, good. So he's going to take care of Pete for that financially. So that's a very cool Sebastian way he's going to do. And so Pete can't say the things I'm about to say. What the fuck, dude? That is outlandish. They built that show for a while. Listen, we first got in the Series XM, they were fucking, they were all about Dan and they thought I was a problem for sure. So they offered the thing and they were like, well, the whole reason they wanted to do it was because they heard our tape, our demo tape. And then when we came in, they just started going like they were like, Dan, Dan. And then they were like, yeah, we'll give you both little shows and maybe you'll crawl. And we just kind of all were saying no to that. They still did that until he left. But our six test shows were called the Dan Soder Show with special guest, Big J. Okrson. Oh, shit. And it was a tail tuck for me, but I ate it because I was like, well, when they see what we got, like who gives a fuck. And that's how it worked out. We did the six episodes. But I mean, Pete and Sebastian is set. That's in stone. That's been for years and years and years. I mean, I was, I was, Lou was fucking 26 years old. They were on my network, my podcast network, Riotcast. I was with them the whole time. When they, Lou had a hair. Yeah. And then they were with Pete and Sebastian. Fresh off of filming American history X. It was Pete and Sebastian. Right. It was Pete first and Sebastian. Now it's just Sebastian rebranded, not even with Pete Correlli. And the whole raw comedy is turning into Sebastian comedy radio, especially man of scalco comedy radio on serious XM 99. You know, Rich Foss is going to be snugging up to fucking Sebastian. Oh my God. Do you hear this is written? This would, if I was Pete, I would be irate. I'm talking like Pete now. Go back to that, please. Where was that? That was a good one. Yeah. Launching April 28th as the channel's flagship program, the Sebastian Man of Scalco show will feature Man of Scalco alongside contributors like his longtime friend and comedian Pete Correlli. It doesn't even sound like he's the co-host of the show. It says, well, it's taking it like, it's, it's, it'll be alongside Pete some times, some times somebody else. It says that right there. Celebrity droppings and recurring segments. Oh my Christ. Wow. Look at how nervous Lou is right now. The show will take over the online feed of the Pete and Sebastian show. Damn, dude. I mean, listen, I'm sure absolutely. And if I were Pete, I bet Sebastian has made sure Pete's doing just fine. You take care of your fellow Gindaloon. Pizzons take care of each other. So I'm saying, I understand. I get this completely. You think I wouldn't, I would take a $3 million a year to go be a white boy in corner at the Kevin Hart radio show. I took way less than that to do this. Yeah. I took so much less than he not Dan. But this is the bonfire with big Jogerson and Robert Kelly. I'm saying if it was like the Kevin Hart fucking. I can't wait for the next contractor. It's just the J show. You could buy. But not even just the J show with contributors. I'm so not sellable in some like selloutable in so many ways and then so many ways I am like completely. To me, again, being like the number one guy is not like my thing anymore. I'd be third Mike on something that was like tons of money. I'm like, yeah, sure. Who gives a shit? Yeah. I'm just saying that ego thing is kind of gone on. Everyone's stern was replacing Artie and everybody was vying for that spon. I remember it was Craig Gas, Jim Florentine. Jim Florentine, Craig Gas, a Fizzi, Greg Fitzsimmons. Greg Fitzsimmons so funny, man. So funny. He was so good until they ended up giving him a show on the network for years. I mean, physically, thank God it's radio. I think it doesn't require any heavy lifting. It looks like fucking a piggy blinders with AIDS. It's Greg is so goddamn funny, man. Fucking hilarious. Um, have you? So it's going to take this. Wow. So, so Pete must be, Pete wouldn't do this if he wasn't going to take care of. I know Pete. Pete must be being treated right. Yeah. Yeah. First show premiered today. No, next. No, not next to April, April 28th. April 28th. Oh, make sure you check it out. It's a funny show. But the Sebastian, uh, meniskeletal radio channel launches middle of next week. Does it say? So is he picking all the comics that are on it or is it just the change of the thing? Like, do you have, is he going to pick his people? Or is this the way, honestly, to spend the money that they won't give me and Bobby a thing? Do you think it's the way to just go, Hey, Sebastian, don't do anything. You can literally just basically sell us your name for a bazillion dollars and then meet, so me and Bobby can look like Jerkoffs and contract negotiations. It is hilarious. That's one perspective. That they have a homegrown show here with very talented people, but they, they really are just keep going out trying to find someone else. They want someone else. I can't wait till they have the Mike Suarez network. Did you turn it up? I just turned it all the way down. But you did turn the heat up. Yeah. I turned it up before we left and then I didn't turn it back on. I thought you, I thought you were doing a bit and you were going to take off your shirt and say black people rule on your chest. I'm going to take off my shirt. I don't know if you saw my face, the cameras have my face. I thought that was a bit the whole time you go, I'm hot. You guys hot in here. I'm like, ah, shit, fuck, Bobby's going to nail me. Fucking Bobby's going to goddamn get me son of a bitch. You motherfucker. To answer your question from before, Bob, uh, yes, Sebastian has say on what comedians will be played on the channel. It's just, it's got his name on it and then it's got regular comedy clips of stand up. So he can say if you're not on it or you're on it. Rob, but Kelly, why would you do that? Why? Sebastian, you're going to do that. You're going to do it when you could have not done that. Why you, why did you have a hot chopper? Lopoulos with my shmallion? My first impression of it, which is being just have some man to say, like a man. Me and finnoy going back and forth about Sebastian Madis Calvo being confused about a parking lots. And he goes, wait, you're going to make me pay to park. That line is it. So if I'm going to park, I got to pay. I already put the gas in the car. I drove here myself and now I got to pay you to park. What do they call them befuddled, befuddled guinea. Why are we? By the way, Nate's a befuddled Southern boy. All their stories just pays kind of end. And I goes, and then a thing happened. I was like, what? But Nate's just the other guy from the story. When Sebastian's like, when you go to someone's house and they want you to bake off your shoes and like Nate's the guy who like, like just loves to take his shoes off. You know, he goes to do the opposite thing of Sebastian. He's the guy on the other side of every story of Sebastian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The black and white. Do you want to hear what his channel will sound like? Yeah, we do. I know I do, dude. Please. Why would you do that? You're listening to Sebastian Maniscalco Comedy Radio Channel 99. Oh, that's a nice touch. Wait, shut the fuck up, dude. It's Rodog. It's Rodog, yeah. Shut the fuck up. It's old Rodog. What? Yeah. It's replacing Rodog. Sebastian took wrong. He's not wrong. I made that by the way. That's not real. What? Oh, thank God. You fucking asshole. Oh, you didn't know? You're an asshole. I thought it was obvious. You know how it was? I thought it was obvious. Hilarious. I was fucking, you piece of shit. There's another one. This is Sebastian Radio. Why would you do that? Oh, oh, oh. Damn, dude, I want to pitch like segments. All right. The next four hours is just about pizza. Hey, first person to call in that says gnocchi correctly and can spell it. It's a bag of raviolis. Blum tomatoes versus heirloom tomatoes. Let me ask you one question. You gravy or sauce? If your ma didn't kiss you on the mouth or your 15, you're not a thie. Damn, my person's getting sharp. Fuck, I'm good. You think he's going to approve of me and Bobby on the channel? Yeah. I was on Raw Dog. What if Sebastian is single handedly responsible for making me and Bobby Kelly lose our income from Sound Exchange from Raw Dog Channel Play is 99? I got a whole new bit of act I'm working on. Can I talk to somebody about that? Who the fuck could I talk to? I'm going to change all my jokes to Italian jokes and clean them up. Dude, I know you will too. You will sell out that hard right away quick. Total Italian. I will assume. Hey, let me ask you a question. Bobby's going to get one of those. He's going to get a twirly mustache. Hey, let me tell you something. You ever scare somebody so loud? It's like the Pista Bands monster. Hey, it's me, Babito Killini. I scared somebody so bad they turned redotted. My grandma told me back in the old country she used to say this. Oh my lord. Yes. Bobby's going to get so much Sound Exchange. Oh, hey, hey, Jay, why don't you just shut your face and join the party? I mean, stop being an outsider. What the fuck is wrong with you, dude? You're fucking stunts. My cup of coffee. I remember when WAP used to mean Italians. Now it means wet ass pussy. I say, what's the difference? What's the difference? What's an Italian but a wet ass pussy anyway? Hey. Hey. Oh. Oh. You know, you know, you know, Rich Voss is going to go from Jewish to Italian real quick. I want a fucking heartbeat. And it's true you had you, Jew motherfucker. You don't want to exist out here because of me. Dude, I was coming to my wife's face. I had to stand over a fucking face. I'm a legend. Yeah, you can't get Voss around to Sebastian. He's going to just blatantly ask to go on the road with him. Yeah, I know. It's going to be uncomfortable. I have a 70 year old man ask you that. Hey, take me under your wing. What's uncomfortable is your, their age is not over exaggerated. He is 70. You guys take me under your wing and realize it underneath that wing. I'm going to need a lot of naps. Do you have any soft shell crab? I'm going to need some wife's. My teeth can't tear, bread. Oh shit. Son of a bitch. Well, Rod Dogg's gone. Now it's the Sebastian channel. Time to- That's crazy. Why is it crazy, Jay? Why? I didn't know everything always takes over. What did call her daddy get? What was that channel before? Oprah. Like call her daddy has her own channel? Yeah. I thought they just took the podcast. No, she has the Unwell network and the Unwell music station. Yeah. Unwell. She got a music station? Yeah. What the fuck is going on in this building? You got nothing. And it's like channel four or something. It's way low. Shut up. You got Jay. I'm going to break something here. How long you been here though? They've been here longer. Can we have a- How long you been here? They've been here longer. Oh, sorry. It's not. You've been here longer than everybody. 10 years? What's it been? 11 years? 11 years. Wow. You know what? Are they still here? Is that- is Jim? Yeah. Where the fuck is Jim? Is Jim here? I want Jim to come in. If they're not using the room where they have all these cameras hooked up to, can we make that a smash room? This place needs a smash room or something bad. Every time I hear new news of this building, it makes me want to smash, dude. Well, this room is a smash room. If you kick something, it falls apart. Yeah. So, everyone, why don't we give a whole radio channel to a guy who doesn't have a comedy audience. He has his own specific audience and make that audience the only audience now at an old comedy channel, god damn it. Ooh, it makes me angry. It's gone. What did Kevin Hart take over? Richard Pryor radio? No, he took over Jamie Foxx. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Damn, dude. Buried him. Shut up, Foxhole. Shut up, Foxhole. Shut up. Shut up. Keep the cuddles and lose the mess with Advantage Chewable. Just one tasty tablet kills fleas and ticks for a whole month. No mess, no stress. Just one tasty chew. Advantage Chewable. Flee and tick protection made easy. Find out more at advantagechewable.co.uk. Easy to love, easy to protect. Advantage Chewable. It's hard to concentrate when you're worried about your health. It can feel like there's a wall between you and the rest of the world, like you can't be fully present. Hello, AXA Health. How can I help? At AXA Health Insurance, we build our teams with people who care, so when you need us, we're here to support you. For cover that cares, search AXA Health Insurance. Pre-existing conditions are not covered. Crisp, vibrant and bursting with citrus. Villamiria's New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc is the perfect wine, made to be enjoyed on every occasion. Whether you're soaking up the sun in your garden, hosting a backyard barbecue, or unwinding after a long day, the zesty lime and lush tropical fruits are always delicious. Try Villamiria Sauvignon Blanc, a vibrant New Zealand wine that's perfect for every occasion. Available at all good wine retailers. Yo, man, I think it's a good thing. You're trying to get on. Listen, Jay. Oh, my God. Let me tell you something. Sometimes you can beat them, and sometimes you join them. I'll tell you this. You understand what I'm saying? You give me $2 million a year. I will be nameless guy on my phone next to you on the Bobby Kelly show on Sebastian Maddaskalka Radio 99. I want to tell you this, though. You better be liking some Frank Sinatra soon. No, I'll be the contrarian guy, and you guys can bust Mike's balls all the time. You'll be mean to me. You'll be like the Jacob guy. You'll be like, look at that. If your face is bugging me, I'll go, huh? Guys, Blue A wears his hat sideways like a little fucking kid from Little League. I don't know, guys. I'm just trying to hang out, right? Why don't you put your hat on fucking correct? All right, man. Is this like this? Is this good? Buddy, listen, then if you play for the Phillies, then get a fedora, you fucking funnook. Forget about it. Come on, of course. You know I don't play for the Phillies, man. Come on, come on, guys. Hey. Guy wears a sweatshirt like he's going to fucking UPS every day. Get a fucking suit and tie your fucking suit, lads. Well, you still got the good stuff, B. He's wearing mittens. What the fuck is he wearing mittens on the call? It's fucking July. This fucking guy's wearing fucking mittens. And he's fucking in July. Shut up. Shut up. Is that real? That's the actual? That's the deadline article when you like tweet the deadline article. Shut the fuck up, dude. It's a perfect photo of him. I think it's great. They say I'm doing radio. What? Wow. The radio comes down from a satellite in the sky? Why? Why? A.E.I.O.U. Or sometimes why would you do that? I'm so excited to see what he does with the channel. I have some ideas. I'll tell you what, Tom Popp is fucking bread shows. Definitely making its way over there. Hi. Well, stay tuned for breading around with Tom Papa. You're Italian. It's okay with you? Yeah. You still gots? You a fun deal? Now his channel, oh, is this him? Everyone, stay tuned for me. I hope he's sitting on Pete. I hope they pan back. You see he's sitting on Pete Corielli's back. I know. This is my human chair, Pete Corielli. You show him respect where I do not. Let's hear it. Look at this promo piece, people. Look at it. Look at the digital background. Hey, it's Sebastian Maniscalco here. Hang out with me on Sebastian Maniscalco's comedy radio. I felt with Sirius XM, it gives a broader canvas to do a lot of the creative ideas that I have kind of sitting in my brain. It's not only a comedy channel, but we infuse comedy in a lot of different areas, whether it be sports, etiquette, lifestyle. We're going to add some music. What? Not listening to. Dancing to. It's right, people. I'm a dancer. See some dance moves. You guys music on his channel? You're not allowed to complain when we play music. You're not allowed to complain. I hope the fucking higher ups listen to this show. You're not allowed to yell at me for listening to music. Jay, this is not your channel. That's his channel. Fuck. And they're going to be doing a lot of other things other than comedy. Well, I'm really glad you said that before I kicked the fucking doors open. I'm trying to save. Think about that. This is not our channel. You're right. It's not your channel. This is fact. A lot of people will say it is our channel, though. I mean, yeah. A lot of people will say. Well, there's a lot of other things. This is the faction talk. That's the Sebastian Roberts. Well, we got Sam Roberts. Sam's on the channel. Sure. We got Bennington's on the channel. Absolutely. But the sweet Lord's calling him. Wow. What the fuck, man? God damn it. I'm just saying there could be a vacuum. All right. Listen, man. No, there's no vacuum. A power vacuum. There's no power vacuum. The show is going on. You have that other show. What's the other show? Eddie Trunk. Eddie Trunk is on the network. I'm just practicing. And then I have a feeling that is something sports over here, maybe? There was. All I know is whenever I put on the channel, we're not on. Yes. Well, I think we only replay right after our show. That's perfect. That's actually good. And throughout the weekend. Yeah. And throughout the weekend. And throughout the weekend. Well, this is going to be Sebastian all the time. Oh, 24 hours. Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian. And a little bit of Bobby. And a little bit of Babito. Hey, I can't wait for a walk in. Oh, hey. Where's Pete? I thought I'm sitting on him. I thought you were a border. Hey, Bobby, I'm down here. I guess I'm a channel. What am I doing down here? Why? I mean, Pete is hit. What are you? Dude. Pete is one of the funniest fucking humans walking. What if it's the Sebastian channel? Mm-hmm. What if it's the Sebastian channel? Mm-hmm. What if it's the Sebastian channel? What if it's the Sebastian channel? What if it's the Sebastian channel? Mm-hmm. Why can't the show still be called Pete and Sebastian? Uh, branding, I would say, I would guess. And the channel is not going to change all that much. It's just imaging. I don't know. Somebody's a company, man. But he gets to pick everything. Man, dude. He's not the boss. You can't wait on a cause. He's not the boss of the channel. But, Lou, no one needs fucking sound effects over there. I know they don't. Stop auditioning, asshole. I'm not. I'm not. You should. But he put together two trailer pieces. Four, nothing. Or as Sebastian would say, Lugats. This is Sebastian Radio. Why would you do that? Three. Oh, no. But for God's sake. Oh, Lou, we need Lou over here. Coffee? We're going to do one some sank. Sank? No. You guys don't know the sank a bit? Lou, let me ask you a question. How much would it cost to take you away from us? Minimal. Uh, nothing. Maybe a hundred dollar cash tip a week. Like his current pay and a $100 cash tip a week. I was going to give that to him. Anyways. I don't mind giving a little hundred bucks. It doesn't tell me no problem. I tip the lady in the bathroom when I'm taking a whiz. No, I used to. This guy looked at me, he called a tricolor cookie a piece of cake. He called a tricolor cookie a piece of cake in front of my dad and my mom. What the fuck? I couldn't believe it. Lou, why would you do that? I do a little whisper, Sebastian. Why? So what if they're like, yo bro, we're going to pay you $100,000 more a year? No one's going to pay me. That's number one. Okay, but what if they were? Wags is a cheap Italian. Damn. Or the Jews that run this place. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. You're a motherfucker. You're a fucking idiot. Jesus Christ. I'll get this to your head. You do what I fucking... Oh yeah, I forgot about that. It's okay. Yeah, I put an A on the end of it. I always forget you're one of those fucking Jew guys. Why? Because I have four swastika tattoos, Bobby. First of all, I keep them covered, but they are great. First of all, four. You keep forgetting the other one. All right. They said that'll fade through time though. Yeah, if you sun your asshole. That was good telepathy right there. We were both thinking asshole. That was called... That's called radio camaraderie right there. Unspoken, we both knew asshole. I do spit take on Lou's face, body brain coffee. Dude, I help you think. Dude, if it gets in your eyes, it's good. Dude, if it gets in your eyes, it makes you see better. You won't need glasses. It's osmosis. I didn't get any on me. Did you get me? Yeah, in your mouth. In your mouth. Do you feel smarter? It was a swish, so you didn't feel it. Lou, $100,000. He says, Lou, I'm going to give you $100,000 extra a year. I'm going to give you $100,000 to leave you stupid friends. I'm going to take away from Pete's, I'll really give it to you. Now, Pete's already my chair. I just want you to come here and be my human desk. I want to make him an offering camera for you. I'm a Pete Corielli guy, so if it was a Pete Corielli show, I would be helping them, provided that it didn't interfere with this show. That's not what we're asking. That's not what we're asking. As it stands, I'm helping nobody, except for you guys. No, you are helping us. I'm helping us a lot. But that's not the question we're asking at all, Lou. Yeah. We know you love it here. I do. And you would not leave to split time. Yeah. When we know you're selling- But for $100,000 more a year. First of all, you're selling t-shirts to make a little- Would you walk with me? I don't. I live with my twin brother. I know. I need a vertical move. You're standing on the fucking highway, ramps selling fresh mango on the weekends. Lou. Well, last week, I went in the bedroom with your brother. I thought it was you. I'm sick and tired. Oh, my God. Your brother played me like a straight up fool. He came in here acting totally whack. And I did not know because you have identical penises. So by the time I found out, he would have stood- No, listen, heal me out, dog. No, no, no. Don't get fucking crazy. I love that you added the splash of black in there. Oh, yeah, yeah. She's black and Indian. That's right. You know? Oh, so that- so you- you gotta get out of there. So what if they gave you like $150,000 extra a year to do both? This is radio. No one's going to give me that ever. How about $200,000 and you get to sell your shirts? On the Sebastian show. That's upwards of $200,000 and $300,000. $200,000 and $3,000. Do you have any more shirts you'd show on Sebastian? If Sebastian was promoting your shirts? Dude, you would love that so much. Guys, real quick. Sebastian, back up your shit. Quick, guys, I want to take a break to plug my friend's t-shirt. It's gonna be a big lose. Stir the sauce. Dot com. Stir the sauce, would you? What the fuck kind of people are they? What are you doing? You sitting there, you letting the sauce burn on the bottom? Hey, I told you, you know, fucking plug your shit. What if Pete has to change his accent? Hey, Sebastian, let me ask you a question. Now that it's the new show, I'm really happy to be here. Pipe down, chair. I'm sorry, I'm just down here. My knees are hurting. Can I get a beer or something? Chairs are meant to chair, not talk. I know, I know, I know, I know. I just, I just a little dumb parts down here. Maybe a beer or... Pete, I gotta leave room for celebrity drop-ins. All right, I understand, but we haven't had one in like three months. I've been down here being your chair. Pete, eat your lasagna. All right, all right, I'm not really, I'm trying to watch the car. You know what I mean? God damn, I am so excited for Sebastian Radio. I was looking forward to getting my shit off of Raw Dog. I don't know if I agree with their fucking morals over there. Well, Raw Dog is the one that plays all our shit. The other one doesn't play any of our stuff because it's clean comedy. Yeah. You have to be crystal clean. Yeah. Maybe that's the way we go, Jay. Maybe we take this show and our stand-up, crystal clean. Okay. Let's do it. Well, we're thinking outside the box for sure. No more swearing. Nothing. No more, nothing. We go crystal clean and then we run this place. I say we go crystal clean and then leave and go work for Nate Land. We'll do fantastic over there. The clean, oh my God, Bobby, we'll be doing corporates. Corporate money so much. Okay, so much corporate stuff. Yeah, a merch would sell. Yeah. It'd be great. There's just many not good ways to clean up my material. We can clean it up. It could be all new material. Let's take a joke. Let's see if we can clean it up. Give us one of your jokes. Okay. Try to give us the cleanest one so it makes it easier. We'll take an older one. Yeah, let's do another one. Ready? Okay. Oh, this is a good one. Yeah. So this black prostitute is sucking my cock and then she gagged. I thought she farted, but she actually shit a little. Right. And I don't want to give away the punchline, but. Okay. So we change the beginning from black prostitute. Okay. Lady of the night. Okay. Because it adds the black and the prostitute in there. Oh, I don't think, lady of the night, I think would almost imply you'd think it's like a white woman coming in a ball gown. You'd have to say, you'd have to say, lady of the night. Of the evening. Now, like, lady of the night and then maybe midnight, if you know what I mean. Perfect. Yeah. So, lady of the night. Lady of the night. Lady of the night. So I was hanging out with the lady of the night or lady of the late night, if you know what I mean. Midnight was better. Like if she didn't smile, I couldn't see her. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. You know, you got it, you got it. You got it. I tell you what, I'm going to stop this bit and it's worth stopping it to just tell you like, I just did a really good thing. I just did a really good, good thing. I swear to you, in my, I think comedy is boundaryless. So I think of so many things in my head and I'm like, if we keep doing the bit, Bobby, I'm going to just say one of the things and just throw out there like, and then we're going to live or die by, and it just seems like the stakes are too high. So I tried out to. Buddy, I got the Sebastian show I'm going to. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You're good. Yeah. You're trying to sell me out. Jay, say everything you've ever wanted to say on the radio. Bobby's making his way over to Sebastian radio. Hey guys, how you doing? Bobby, what are you doing? Oh God. I was working for that fucking piece of shit over there. He's got a party mouth. You know that, right? He's garbage. You know what he said the last time about the fucking Vems in the days? Oh my God. Does Chick-fil-A use paper straws? No, they don't. They hate. They do. They hate. They're not going to use paper straws for those. Mange, mange, hunkabunkabunkabunkadunkadoo. Slap adabba hunkadunkahinkabink. Oh geez. Forget about it. Do you think that he, I mean, he's going to play a lot of, if he's playing music, he's going to play a lot of Frank Sinatra and stuff like that. Yeah. What music is Sebastian? He caught dead at a concert that wasn't some guy in a tuxedo singing. Now he's the EDM king. Oh yeah. Did you see that? Oh yeah. Yeah. I saw it. He is unironically loving it. Loves it. You know that music still at his age thumps out of his car. By the way, I listen to very age, I listen to age-appropriate music at inappropriate volumes. David Cross, way too loud. I present. I present. Christopher Cross. Yeah, yeah. No, it's exactly. But I go obnoxious all over the place. Yeah, this is different. Wow. Well, I'm glad that we got some fresh blood here and it's going to, you know, add a little, a little, what should I say, a little spice to the, to the serious XM. Who's that? Is that Pete? Is that Sebastian calling? Oh, that was the beginning of this? Oh, this is great. Yeah, Steve Ioki. My heart just went through my chest. Oh, by the way, Steve Ioki looks like he was made with AI. He looks like. What fucking 11 races is that guy? Dude, Sebastian's so stoked to be part of this. Oh my God, can you believe he's dance like that? No, this is the video. This is the official music video. Go to, there's like videos of them making it where Sebastian's so excited. Yeah, yo. Or the live, the thing where he's outside at a big festival and Sebastian's face is on the big screen. Yeah, yeah. It's insane. Sebastian says a bunch of stuff. Yeah. Not just does he follow the dance. He looks like he's, he's faking having fun there. He's not. He looks like he's, it looks to me like he's like, I'm doing this, but I have to do it because of song. Dude, this is his tucked in T-shirt fucking thick rope chain dream. When he grew up in Chicago, he would go to those dance clubs where they played freestyle music. Of course. This is, dude, this is an Italian guy who still owns a lot of bottles of Dracar dream. Why is Dracar bad? No, it's not bad. It's just like it's, it's Italian guy from the 80s and 90s. Polo. Polo was nice. That's it. Yeah. This is Sebastian. Yes. Let me hear it. Oh, you remember this. I just heard in the bathroom, I love Lisa Lisa. Is this Lisa Lisa? Yeah. And cult jam. Lisa Lisa in the cult jam. I'm the B in my heart. Let's see how I should dance like that. Why would you do that? Oh Jesus. Oh my God. Bobby's feeling it. It looks old though. Not in his mind. He's not. I know, but whatever you're seeing is in with the world seeing right now. I don't know. Did you put a wallet in his mouth? Maybe spinning. Oh, he's on his eyes are closed now. And he's really, he's getting down. I think he's playing with an invisible orb. He's in 1987. He is right now in 1987. And I don't know if he's grinding on a girl or if he's in a circle of his buddies. Oh, either way. He just had to wear a tit thing. He's swimming through the crowd. He also knows all the words which I find devastating. Oh man. You had to, by the way, the reason it doesn't embarrass Bobby is because he's always had to do this sober because he had to get sober before dance was created. You know how fucking hard it is to dance sober? It's impossible. I'm doing it right now, bitch. It can't be any harder than what Bobby's doing. You never got laid once because of dancing. It was despite dancing. It was definitely despite your dancing. Black Lube's going to put this out there. Oh my Christ. Come on, dude. I hated that. Can you please do that? Send that to Sebastian for me? Oh no. Sebastian is going to love that. You got to dance to Sebastian's song. Does your bottom know you dance like that? Bing, bing, bing, bing. Oh God, that felt good. I felt like I was in AA dance in St. Mary's in Lynn, Massachusetts. W, did you just close your eyes and dance by yourself? Oh, I danced. You danced by yourself at first, but when the girls saw you dancing, then they come out and then they surround you. You start dancing by yourself? When you open your eyes, all of a sudden you're surrounded by women. Jay, women. I believe you. That's not how it would have worked out for me for sure. Jay, you don't know that. I believe dance is inside of you. It is. And I believe you got to let it out. I don't know. We should start wedding, we should start wedding crashing, meaning you. I've been downing myself more lately. We crash weddings. I've been downing my dancing more. It's the whole thing I thought of. We do a thing, meaning you crash weddings. We go in, we hang out, meet chicks, blah, blah, blah, we dance. And that's kind of a thing that we do. Here's my concern. Yeah. At one point we take it a little too far. Yeah. And like, what if I don't hook up with the girl on the very first time, but I like her. Yeah. So then what if we got to go and hang out with her family on like an island or something? Well, if they're rich, we'll go. Yeah, but I don't know. I already think the mother is a problem. She seems all sexed up and horny. That's great. Let's go. The one kid seems like a gay artist type. I just think it's going to be unsettling. What if the dad is like some type of senator or something? He's got power. Plus, I already got sucked off in the bathroom by the one girl here. So it's going to be, I feel like she's going to be clingy the whole time. Yeah, but you know what? There could be like some aggressive boyfriend type of guy there, some jock, you know, Harvard Yale type of dude that's going to try to fuck you up. Yeah, but the thing is. I mean, I'll probably want to get it. Yeah, but then the thing is though, like the girl would probably see that like you're the good person and that person is just who society wants her to be with. Right. Because they want to keep money within money. Well. But you learn probably at the time is the substance of a person that matters. It's the substance of the person. It's not the fun we were having. Yeah. And then that will feral scene. Right. But we'll never know. We'll never know. We'll never know. That's what I thought Christine was going to hit the music. There's a few different. I don't like this music. This is, I tell you, I looked at, I watched a lot of the Coachella stuff this week. They always just have two stages of this happening. Yeah. EDM was like the most popular genre. No, this is involved. You have to be doing very specific drugs. This is probably, I assume it's cocaine. Ecstasy. Methmoly. Right. Any kind of meth based drug. Yep. And some kind of MDMA. I mean, it's fun when you're on ecstasy. I don't think it would be for me still though. I don't know. Here's the thing. It's like you, I think if you were in a space where you could loosen up and dance, you would have fun. I just don't know what drug would ever get there. Not to this music though. I still want to dance to music that I liked. This would give me a panic attack at any level of high. Why don't you just try right now without drugs? Just get up. Oh, because I just saw you did. Yeah, but why don't you just get up and let it get into you. Give me a better version of your mother know you dance like that. See if it happens. Jay right now is standing up. He's going to try. Do I have to dance like you? No buddy. This is dances inside of you. Not my dances inside of me. But I'm only doing what you did. No. Try what? Dude, do your thing. Feel it and see what comes out. That's what I'm going to do. I can do the foot thing at this point now. Well, let's just see what comes out. Does it kill you that I know how to do that now? It hurts me a little bit. Turn that shit up, Lou. This is what I feel like I have to only do a Bobby did. You got it. No, do feel it. Feel it. Stir the pot. Stir the pot. Yeah. One, two, three. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. He's like dancing from his soul. Yeah, I feel it. Boom. Come on, get in it. Go somewhere else. Go somewhere else. You're on another planet, a planet of dance. Everybody dances. I really hate you just bullied me into doing the thing you wanted to do. I hated it. That felt as bad as watching my old comedy. You get that? You're so funny. You're so funny. You're so funny. You're so funny. You're so funny. You're so funny. You're so funny. You're so funny. You're so funny. You get that? You dance that? Does your mother know you dance? Christine, do you like to dance? I mean, yeah. Not in my house. I haven't. Are you like, yes, I like to dance alone by myself all the time. No, I'm talking about dance. I used to love, I used to love going out like that. You dance alone? You dance alone a lot? Oh, if you had cameras in the house, it's like full blown recitals. Jay, Jay, we can do this. I wouldn't. We can get some. But I actually am upset with her for never thinking to once film that at all. Why would I do that to myself? I'm trying to. I showed everybody me bombing in front of black people who didn't like me. Well, you made a career of comedy. I just produce. Yes, well, producing. Producing that video would have been great. Do you have a video of you dancing? No. I mean, there is a video of me being like one off everybody else. In a performance at El Camino, but that DVD got stolen with my friend Chelsea's computer. What's the dog do when you dance? Fucking barks and fleets out like it's fireworks. She chills and just watches you dance. I mean, sometimes I dance at her or seeing her. That dog is definitely when you leave. I never. Is that, you know, it's funny as she says these things. Sometimes I'm like, that's the look that Dawkins gives me in her eyes. Don't leave. She gets me alone. She gets very like she's like on top of you. Dude, it gets weird when you're not here. This lady's kooky. Yeah. And also she must even feel she goes, this lady is 100% different when you're around and you're not around. I mean, I mean, if she didn't rub my belly the way she did, I'd fucking run away from this house. I don't make her dance with me. I'm like my favorite thing in the world. And I don't know why she does it. But for the last several weeks, now it's clockwork. When I come home and I go, give me a kiss in the face. She gives me one. She comes over and she's like running around. So she comes over and just like licks my face and then runs off. And I go, get back over here. Another kiss. And she goes over and she says, and by the third one, she goes like, oh, like she's like, oh, which looks like the fifth one. She goes over and she goes like, oh, making noise. I couldn't even guess what's going through her head. I'll tell you what. You come back on like, what? I've been with this crazy lady all day and I don't need this dress. I got to her singing. You're trying to make out with me. When we did skanks, it'll be on the Friday Night Hang episode. Louis brought his dog and Ari, like he's done with everybody's dog. Does a full blown like French kiss session with it. Yeah, it makes out with the dogs. But Louis's dog loved it. Yeah. Because I mean, kept jumping back. He's talking. Would jump over Louis to get back to Ari to French some more. Yeah. Like it was like, it was like one person was trying to leave on a train and they, they keep jumping off and someone goes all aboard and then the dog would run away and then come back and take, steal one more with Ari. Yeah. Cause his breath doesn't smell like protein and dicks. That's true. Body, brain and cock. Body, brain, cock and asshole. That's the name of the creamer. Body, brain, coffee and cock and asshole creamer. Yeah. I love, I don't make out with my dog anymore. Like I used to let her kiss me, but I don't do that anymore. I get a couple of kisses in a month, but I do my, you know, doodle. I let her lick my face. She's so fluffy. Her hair is so fluffy and it's like a teddy bear. But when I go into the bed and I have the Kiki Co on the whole bed, the new one is so good by the way, so big and she'll, I'll go and she'll run and jump on the bed and like flop, like fly next to me and stretch out right next to me. And I just rub her belly and she just gives me kisses on the cheek and I fucking love it. You're the best. I do. They are the best. Oh, wait a second, dude. Guys, I just realized we've done the first half of the show in radio Andy studio. Oh my God. This guy gay. It's the little gas they pump into this room. Make sure you say a bunch of gay stuff. No. It's happening. You know what? Let's vent this place out. Let's get a commercial break. Vent this place out. I don't even know. I can't even read right now. Bobby's going to be on the road and Mohegan's son. What did I do? You're Bobby. I don't know. What was I doing? My legs hurt. Oh, you should see. What is happening? Where do we go? Look on the internet, guys. What happened? You didn't. Wait a second. Is this the channel that took over out cue radio? The gay channel? Bobby Kelly is going to be swinging his buns in comics this weekend in Connecticut, the 17th and 18th. I'm going to be in Kansas City after Nashville, bigjaycommy.com. We'll be right back. It's Tabana. I feel weird. Christine's going. I feel weird. What just happened? I don't know, dude, but you look cute. Keep the cuddles and lose the mess with Advantage Chewable. Just one tasty tablet kills fleas and ticks for a whole month. No mess, no stress. Just one tasty chew. Advantage Chewable. Flee and tick protection made easy. Find out more at advantagechewable.co.uk. 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