#394: Jokes We Don't Get

This is a Head Gum Podcast. Alright, what do you guys have to trade? I have goldfish and peanut butter sandwich and a Capri Sun. I have a Starkrunch, I have a Green Squeeze It, and I have some gummy sharks. What were those called? Shark gummy sharks? I was at my dad's last night. It was his day, so my dad back very much. Oh my god. This is about to be incredible. Screwdriver. What else? No, it's nothing cool. I know Rick's got divorced parents and his dad always packs Lunchables. He's the only one that gets Lunchables. He eats the Lunchables with that. I know. He trades it for real money. He's rich. He's insanely rich. Wait, does he really trade it for real money? Yeah, of course. Why do you think he's wearing that fur coat? Jessers over to Rick wearing a fur coat. And air walks. Jessers over to Philip wearing air walks. Okay, well that's perfect because my dad packed me a check for $11.50. Whoa. Maybe I could like sign this over to Rick, you know. $11.50. That's like three lunches. Let's go buy a house. Should we? You're rich, man. Hold on. Hold on. It all crowd me at once. It all crowd me at once. Punches you in the stomach, takes the check. Jessers to Philip. Purchases you down. It's made out to me. You can't cash it. What brings you children to the bank today? We would like to exchange this check for cold hard cash. Okay. And we've done this before. More $11.50. Which one of you is Randolph Cole? All of us. That's his full name. Randy Cole is Randolph Cole? Wait, does that mean Dolph Lundgren is Randolph Lundgren? So none of you are Randolph Cole. No. Jessers to Philip. Punches, bankers. Oh, through the glass. That gets strong. Seen. Seen. Seen. Seen. Seen. Seen. Welcome to Hey, Runaway to the show where Erin puts something in her mouth as soon as the show starts. Erin, what are we eating? Nothing. I swallowed a gobb stopper. I mistimed it. Well, Adolf, that's stuck in my throat. What is it? I didn't fully chew it enough. Yeah. Erin, stop talking. Erin, stop talking. Breathe through your nose. We'll be okay. We'll be okay. Gohos die on Zoom. No one here to save me, huh? No, no, we'll be okay. We'll all be okay. That's Adolf Rafaia up there and I'm JPC. What's going on? Up there. Up there. You're driving. You guys are messing and I'm in the balcony? You're taller than me, Adolf, so I can always say there's Adolf Rafaia up there and it's never wrong. Adolf, what are you, six, two? Six, one, six, two, six, three, six, one. I'm six, one. Okay, that means you six, two. Six, two. People who are, say that they're five, 11 or five, 10 and people who say that they're six, one or six, two. I always try and go under with my height because inevitably someone is like, no, you're not. And I'm like, I don't really care. I don't need to be tall. I don't want to be, I'm not that tall. I just don't care. Not worth it. Well, that's Adolf Rafaia up there. That's Eric Keith down there. That's technically accurate. Aaron, what are you eating down there? I'm not eating anything. Okay. Was this something super embarrassing that you were eating? No, I was just eating a piece of gluten-free bread. I didn't have breakfast because I felt nauseous when I woke up this morning and then I felt kind of ravenous. Yeah. From nauseous to ravenous. What's going on there? I don't know. These are the days of our lives, Adam. These are the days of our lives. Nauseous to ravenous. These are the days of our lives. Let's stop bullshitting, shall we, and get into some riddles? Real quick, speaking of up there, did you guys ever hear the story of, do you both know who Walt Chamberlain is? Yes. People would always inevitably say, how's the weather up there? And at some point he got so tired of fans saying that to him that one time a guy was in an elevator with him and recognized him obviously because he's like seven three and goes, how's the weather up there? And Walt Chamberlain spit on him as hard as he could and said, it's raining. And then he just started to do that to anyone who asked him. And he could get away with it because he was seven three. That's, I gotta say, pretty funny. Yeah. I don't really want to be spit on, though, just committing a social faux pas. Casey, clip that. Oh, please. Here's the thing. The person who says, how's the weather up to to Walt Chamberlain? Have you ever found yourself, let's call it like in a small talk like cashier or you know, you're like checking out for your groceries or something, have you ever found yourself making a joke that you're like, God damn it, like this person has heard that joke 10 million times? Because I certainly have done that. And I always want to be like, hey, I'm sorry, I'm a professional comedian. I you deserve better. Not just in general, the whole inside me, not because from me, you deserve better. You deserve way clever. I was just at the corner and I said, do you have a corner office? And I was like, I'm so sorry. Just let me know how they died. Yes, this is my father. Lifts up sheet. Howard, Casey, that's probably the perfect button to my father has died. JPC, do you realize that your Casey clip that is sort of another version of that's what she said? Someone says, dirty. So now I take that in your pipe and smoke at JPC. How does that feel? I, it feels pretty good. Do you guys remember when the office was big and that's what she said had like made a full comeback? Because of Michael Scott saying it ironically? Yeah, well now, now it's new, the new one is Casey clip that. This is the world that we live in, you know? These are the days of our lives. So I have an issue. Why so eager to get into Reynolds, Aaron? What's going on? Do we need to examine this? Why so unserious? It's never going to be good enough for you guys, is it? I go, I push it for 30 minutes to avoid Reynolds. Everyone hates that. Everyone gets mad at me. I get right into Reynolds. People don't like how curt that seems. How much? Try 15 minutes. 15 minutes. Maybe it's a sweet spot. Okay, fine. Go ahead guys. Seven minutes of free play. What do you mean go ahead guys? Go ahead. Okay. Seven minutes of free play. Should we go in the closet and make out? Should we kind of spitball more about Mr. Mouse bones? Yes. What else are we going to do for the other six minutes and 30 seconds? Wait. Yeah, I can make out past. Ew. I can get, Aaron, I can get seven minutes of making out down to 30 seconds. That's awful. That sounds like a century nightmare. That sounds like a nightmare. Oh, I just got so grossed out by kissing. Did that ever happen to you? Only one is called snogging. Yeah. Snogging's gross. Do you remember your first kiss? Do you remember how bad you were at kissing? Do you think there was ever one person who absolutely nailed it on the first kiss? They were like, first kiss? Fucking fantastic at kissing. I'm for some French kid. Nice. Here's my issue with this riddle book. I don't know if it was given to me, handed to me at our first Boston live show or second one. All of my books are all discombobulated, but these are from Ari. My books are discombobulated. In Boston. So Ari, thank you so much. People. The everything kids, giant book of jokes, riddles and brain teasers. What's going on guys? There's giggling in the back of the class. Nothing teacher. We're nothing. 48 is the answer. 48. I think my new thing on the podcast is going to be, I'm just going to talk really softly, but I'm going to have Casey bring it up in post so you guys don't get to hear all the episodes. No. Aaron, I'm excited about some of these Boston riddles. They have nothing to do with Boston. So some of these are jokes and you kind of have to like complete the joke if that makes sense. This is me and the cashier all over again. That was actually pretty good, but Casey, don't let him. That sounds pretty good. All right. Are we ready? Yeah, I'm ready. I guess I'll start with this one. You heard about the glass blower who inhaled? No. Aaron, excellent delivery. You heard about the glass blower who inhaled? Yeah. So normally. He was a pain in the ass. He got a pain in his glass. Pain in my glass. He's got a pain in his throat. stomach. Yeah. That's great. You got it. Pain of pain. Pain of glass. I'd like to see a scene. JPC, you are Adel's father and you are a glass blower and you just inhaled a bunch of glass and you're driving yourself to the hospital and Adel is in riding shotgun and Adel, you're really scared and JPC, you're trying to comfort him. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry. Dad, I'm so sorry. I wish I could drive. I'm just, I can't, I don't know what's wrong. I'm just freezing. We're just gonna sneak on into the hospital, quick drop in. Why don't we go get a milk, milk burger? A milk burger? Dad, something's wrong. I think something's wrong. Let's stop. Let's stop. The Arby's. I thought I had Arby's. Hi, what can I get you? Welcome to Arby's. Milk burger, son. One for my son, one for me. We have two milk burgers. Two milk burgers? Is that usually come with water? I don't need water. Nothing in my throat. You want the, you want the burger meal and you want it with your drink as milk? No, please just make us milk burgers, ma'am. We have to get the hospital. My dad's all out of glass, so just make whatever milk burgers are and make it real very quick, please. Finally, an opportunity to get creative in the kitchen. What are steak nuggets? Sorry? What are steak nuggets? Oh my god. My dad's doing that thing that parents do where they order and then they ask about an item on the menu that they're never gonna order. I mean, they're just what they sound like, sir. They're like nuggets, but they're made of steak and some chicken. I guess I'll try some. Okay, adding that to the order. Is there anything else? Any dessert today? Chicken fries, please. Chicken fries. Is that you guys? Um, what are the options? Chicken fries, cold beer on a Friday night. There's a long line behind you if you want to just pull up to the first one. Oh, that was my question. I'll do that thing. I'll do that thing where I pay for the guy behind this order. That looks like Gary's behind you. You don't want to pay for that. It's going to be at most $200. Huh? He orders for his whole office. He ordered? I will do it. I'll pay for Gary. Is the guy in front of me pay for me? No. What? Would you tell if he had or do you just pocket that? Yeah, I would tell you. What? He didn't pay for him. I paid for a guy behind me. All right, your total's going to be $21,683. Pull up to the first window, please. Okay, I'm going to just drive. I'm going to keep driving. I'm just going to drive. Are you okay? Buckle up. Buckle up. Yeah, go dad. Oh, the windshield went right in your mouth. Oh my god. Oh, the windshield went in my mouth. I think it did. We hard cut to his funeral. We are gathered here today to bury my dad. Actually, I never confirmed the, can I just open the casket real quick? Just a crack. I just need to confirm it's... Sir, sir, sir, sir. You can't go in there. I never confirmed it. I never confirmed it was my... Sir. Please, please. He's grieving. He's grieving. Except that your father is dead. Connor, my brother, your father is dead. Just, it's a go sit. Go sit. I'll deal with the priest. I'd like to pay for the funeral after this funeral as well. Is that something I talk to you about? Oh, really? It was a whole bus load of, it was a family reading on a bus. So that's going to be about like... So the next funeral is a mass, it's a mass funeral? Yeah, it's 100 and... I don't think they did those. We cut to the next funeral. My name's Rick. I run the funeral home. There's nobody here. Seems like anybody would have showed up as dead. He's dead. Are you guys having fun? Yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes I am. Yeah. What did the Cub Scout say when he fixed the horn on his bike? We blow the horn. We blow, yes. We blow the horn. We blow the horn. We blow wobbles, but they don't fall down. These are the days of our lives. We blow to the night. We blow to the night. We've done that on the show before. What did the Boy Scouts say when he honked his horn? What was it? What did the Cub Scout say when he fixed the horn on his bike? When he fixed the horn on his bike. What is their motto, I guess? Never tell a lie. No, that's George Washington. He said to the horn, now you can get blown, which is Cub Scout motto, no. Oh, don't they hold up two fingers and say like... Scouts honor. We'll never, we'll never kill. What is that thing? I'll kill for the flag. I'll die for this country. Beep prepared. Beep. Wait, so what would you change that? Beep. Beep, beep, beep, prepared. Beep prepared. Beep, beep, prepared. Do a, does a bike horn beep? Beep, beep, beep, beep. That's incredible. ...Bike horns honk and... Well, no, I guess they would beep. I'd like to see a scene and I think, honestly, this might be the most perfect gas thing I've ever done in my fucking life. Aaron or the Road Runner, JPG or Wile E'Coyote... We've done this before. Are you serious? Yeah, I love it. Nevermind. No, no, I want to do it again. I'm just saying that's amazing that we've played those parts before. We don't know that we've played these exact parts. Maybe I was the Road Runner at one point. Okay, good point. I don't want to see it at all. Come on. Come on. JPC. I love it. They're being like, I got a stroke of genius. OK. JPC, you're going to be playing this character who is like a wildly old man, but he does. JPC's Wild Coyote, Aaron, your road runner and the two of you are having a dinner to see if you can't talk through everything and put an end to this war. I hope it's OK that I ordered a bottle. I'll pay for it. And if you don't like it, you don't have to. That's really nice. I was thinking more of like a cocktail, but if you ordered a bottle of red wine, then I'm in. It's a rose. What a rose at an Italian restaurant. Yeah, it's OK. It's like an aperitif. Like a daytime wine. We're having a bowl of nays. This is a 1987 Acme Rose. What? Go ahead and work in here. Sorry, wait, before you uncork it, do you have anything that's maybe a better bottle, a better match for the meal that we're having? We're not having like oysters on the beach. We're having kind of a heavy. Italian meal. I guess I guess we're both having bull and nays as well. I know we have an order. What they do best. Why would you not get it when I told you it's what they're known for? Is that what you're known for? You're known for bull and nays. We are known for our bull and nays. Great. And I don't even know why they have a rosé on the menu. If it's all bull and nays here, if that's the only thing that they do here. They have other things here. I'm just saying that's what they're known for. Why would you not get their famous dish? Why don't you bring us whatever you bring the most people because we're going to just have the standard experience. Is that something I can order? Two bull and nays with water. Being really hostile to the waiter. Oh, oh, I'm being hostile to the waiter. Okay. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I guess we could just forget about you spitting in the nice 1987 acne rosé that I ordered for the table. I didn't spit in it. I didn't even let the bottle be open. You didn't pay for it. There was no harm, no foul. Speaking of no foul, stand up. Brushes off legs. I think that we tried and I think it didn't work. And it's either we're fucking or we're chasing each other, isn't it? Okay. And we're not fucking anymore. So beep, beep. Well, the bottle had fucking dynamite in it. Oh, of course it did. So I was going to show you. You're a giant explosion in the bathroom. Of course it did. Okay. Check please. Check please. No, check please. Check please. It's on me. I blew up the kitchen. I insist. Me, me. I see. Huzzah. Huzzah. Huzzah. Huzzah, Huzzah. What do you see when the smog clears in Southern California? Smow. The desolation of a smog. Smow. What do you see when the smog clears in Southern California? Nothing. Nothing. It never clears. Adel, what did you say? Southern California. No, that's a great answer. It's kind of like that. What do you see in Southern California when the smog clears? Do you see the sea? No, you see. UCLA. Yup, UCLA. Wow, college in a town. Wow, college in a town. UCLA. Bruins? I don't know. That's Boston. Did you hear about the two silkworms who had a race? No. End of question. End of discussion. Did you hear about the two silkworms who had a race? No. End of question. End of discussion. Two silkworms who had a race. Is it something like it was inch and inch or something? No. Okay. Two silkworms who had a race. Silk is an important word. It was unbelievable. That's awesome. I wish it was unbelievable. It was synthet. There was a smooth finish. Silk. Silkworms. Silk. What about silk? Silk. Silk the shocker. Something that you make. Silk pajamas. Silk stockings. Silk stockings. Something you make out of silk. Warthog. Warthog. Warthog. Special occasions are business ventures. Oh, they were going so hard that they were pantying. Tied. Oh, they tied. Business ventures. Yes, Adal. Yours made sense. Excuse me. Spotlight on JPC. It's going to be a dead stop. Oh, Aaron doesn't think that sex could be a business. I guess sex work isn't work to Aaron. Oh, please. I guess I'm not putting in eight hour days. It closes JPC behind the door, locks the door, toggle, toggle, toggle, toggle. Oh, you closed it on me. Oh. Adal, do something. Hold up a sign that says Yikes falls down a canyon. They ended in a tie. They ended in a tie. I would like to see a scene. You guys are two silkworms and you are at like the cocktail hour at a wedding. And one of you made your own outfit and you're kind of bragging about it to your friend. Wow, is that genuine? Yeah, genuine's here. He requested that they don't play pony, which I'm like, yeah, I mean, normally you would play it at a wedding, but yeah, I guess Alicia knows him. That's wild. They went to college or something. Also, is that real silk? No, I believe silk passed away. That's diamond. You're talking about the two conservative firebrands. Yeah. Diamond and silk, yeah. I think that's, were they twins? Whichever one it is, don't say anything to her about the other one just because obviously it could be misconstrued. If you approach her at all, I'm not going to talk to her because we have different politics. But I guess she knows Alicia. Like they went to college with genuine or something. I don't know how it, how it all shakes out. Well, I made my own suit. Hey, look at that. See. Fun. Diamond and silk, is that, and one of them did pass away, right? I don't know who that is. They were, what are they? They were the conservative, like, not politicians, talking head, like pundits type people. Pundits, yeah. And I remember that whichever one, they were both like big Trump people, like big mega people, and whichever one died, Trump went to the funeral and was like, yeah, I didn't really know who this person was. Like did that thing where that Trump does where he goes to someone's funeral and was like, I don't know. I think he's done multiple times to multiple people who love him. Classic. Classic. Some of these jokes or riddles are like mini scenes. So this one, the teacher says, Alex, why are you brushing your teeth during class? And then Alex says, because I'm about to fall asleep on your ass? Because. Okay, expelled. Because. Because the way you teach stinks, like my breath or something. Okay, self burn. He's brushing his teeth during class. Uh-huh. Okay. Normally you would brush your teeth, what? Like before, oh, because he says, oh, because teacher, you really made a meal of that last lesson. He says, I want to be ready for the. Prom. I want to be ready for the test. What kind? Quiz test. The pop quiz. The pop test. The final? No. You don't need a pen for it. The exam. The oral exam. Whoa. Yes. Next riddle. I feel sorry for the two lighthouse keepers. Oh, they were crazy. Willem Dafoe and Robert Hansen. They went nuts. This one is, I feel like it doesn't give enough info, so I'm going to add it. Okay. They're both out to sea. I feel sorry for the two lighthouse keepers who are in love. They both shined their light on one another. They both. Beautiful poem. Not the intro, but beautiful poem. Two lighthouse and a path diverged. And I took. Adolf, if you're ever at the wedding of two lighthouse keepers, read it. That's it. Oh, sorry, a boat's coming in. Everyone hold. Smash. Okay, so they're two lighthouse keepers and they're in love. The lighthouse keepers are in love or the lighthouses are in love? Lighthouse keepers. Keepers. Does this have a twinge of tragedy to it, Erin? Is there some sadness behind this one? Yeah, there's something wrong about their. Their husband and wife. Okay. And there's something wrong. And you think that's wrong. The lights gone out in their love life. No. Oh, they can't keep the flame ignited or something like that. Not to do with the light. They lost the spark. Okay. It's not light related. They were both hung up on an old flame. I wish. It's not light related. What else? It's not light related. Is it about boats? Is it about shore water? Is it about spiral stir cases? Well, Erin added the part where they're in love. So the part that's important is that they're in love, but it doesn't have anything to do with lighthouses. Well, they're married. They're married. They're married. See their husband and wife. Rings? Is it rings? Is it crashing the ships? Oh, they're in a relationship. No, what is their... I like that. What are the ships crashing to if the lighthouse light is off? Shore, rocks. Shore, land. Rocks. They have a rocky... They're on the rocks. Yes, their marriage is on the rocks. Literally, their marriage is on the rocks. I would like to see a scene. You guys are two lighthouse keepers, and your marriage is on the rocks. Is that a boat? I can't tell. Roger, is that a boat? I don't know, Doug. I don't know, Doug. Why don't you either wait till it gets closer... Ugh. Or use the binoculars. I don't want to use the binoculars. I want to use the binoculars. They hurt my eyes. Okay, well then I guess I'll just sacrifice my eyesight to use the binoculars. Doug, is that what you want? Yes, it's a fucking boat. Nowhere near us, okay? And the lighthouse is on, so it knows that we're near. Should've shoved you down the stairs. I'm sorry? I should've shoved you down the stairs. Well, thank you for saying that with your whole fucking chest, Doug, the first time that you've said something with your whole chest in a year. The minute you go to sleep, the second you fall asleep, I'm gonna fucking smother you. Oh, okay, are you? I'm gonna smother you with kisses. You have your whole marriage. Happy anniversary. Oh my god. This was all a routine. I completely forgot our anniversary. Oh god, Doug. I love you so much. Boat smashes into the rocks. Ah! Oh god, help us! I love when that happens. I guess that's the foundation of our relationship. We're dying! It's slow! And we're psychos. We killed the people who were supposed to be up here. See? I knew it. I knew it. I know, yeah. I knew it. Lighthousekeeper seems like one of those old-timey jobs that the only reason that you get it is because something like horrible happened in your life. Like either you did something or something was done to you where now you just have to be like, I'm the lighthouse guy. No one bothered me. I'm a hermit, basically. I think that kind of isolation would suit me. Have either of you been inside a lighthouse? Yeah. A couple times. Really? Yeah, it's very fun. I wanna go. I should have invited you. I did a lighthouse tour in Maine, I believe, or at least on the East Coast. There's something crazy about, I think, Michigan has the most lighthouses in the US or something. Some crazy thing where it's like, you wouldn't think that, but it does. That's interesting. That's interesting. I guess a large body of water, like Michigan's huge, so. Aaron, where have you been in a lighthouse? Several. Yeah, several in New England. There's one I went into, it must have been, I don't know, maybe Cape Cod, but I was in a lighthouse once, but it was very small. When you were climbing up it, you're spinning so much, it's like a spiral staircase. I remember being genuinely a little motion sick and nauseous when I got to the top. I was like, whey. It's crazy how small and tight and compact they build them, but when you get to the top, you realize it's because the guys making cookies up there do not need a lot of space. Wait, what? Where did I go? Where did you go? Hold on. Where are you now? A keyblor tree? Aaron, lighthouse though, it's an interesting job. Maybe not so much anymore, but like, because it's equal parts like hermit, but also huge responsibility. So it's like most of the time when you have like a away from society job, it's like a no responsibility. Like you're not just on your own, but this is like your important critical function to society, plus no one to talk to. Yeah. Yeah. And that is one of those things I'd be good at. Did you hear about the lobster that bought a new car? What kind of car was it? Oh, he got a lemon with a little bit of butter and those tiny forms. That is an awesome answer, T.B.C. I will point on the board for JBC, but that's not what we're looking for. It's a specific car. And it was a lobster. Lobster who bought a car. It's a new song. Let's just go through all the cars for you. A crustacean wagon. Yes, Adel. That was amazing. What a go- B-B-B-B-Punkunk. What a get. You got that so quickly. I'd like to see a scene. A crustacean wagon. Adel, you are our crabby crab dad, and we're going on a beach vacation and we're driving you insane while you're driving your little crab kids around. Okay, settle down back there. Settle down. Are we there yet? He touched my claw. Let me switch lanes. He keeps bumping it when you're looking. Dad, he keeps bumping it when you're not looking. Our claws are just touching because your car is too small. And also, dad, you just keep switching lanes. You just go from side to side. Switch lanes. Switch lanes. You turn the car the other way. Switch lanes. Switch lanes. Dad, this is scary. All the other cars are human size. We're going to get crushed. Dad, I want a burger. Can we stop at sand castle, white castle? Can we stop at sand white castle? Okay, but one burger each. That's it. What do you want kids? We got burger. Milk burger. Milk burger. Let me get two milk burgers. Actually make that three milk burgers. And can I have the crab cakes with aioli? Yeah. Hey, what's a crab cake? I don't know. Crab meat is my favorite crab meat. Lump crab meat? What is lump crab meat? Dad, I want it. I don't think we should be eating crab meat. Why? It's so good. It's a summer. I'm going to teach you a valuable lesson. Here you go. Here's your crab cakes. Yum, yum, yum. Whoa. Ha-ha. Yeah, that was crab. That was what? That's crab. That's us. You're the grown-up here. You just let me eat. Okay, I was just trying to teach you a lesson. You want me to be a cannibal? Hold on. I heard that humans will be like, don't barf in the car. Don't barf in the car. Side to side, moving side to side. Side to side, barfing. See? I guess I don't. I guess I do like crabs barf. I know like... Do crabs barf? They must, right? Like every animal that has the digestive system must get sick and barf, right? That has... I don't think anything that lives in the water barfs. Yeah, that's right. And I have to think that. I think God had a plan. Oh, Casey's typing. This is the new do-sharks fart. I don't... Maybe it wouldn't be as funny as I think it would be, but I do think like a compilation of animals barfing would be a pretty funny video. All right. I'm going to write a screenplay called Barf Shark, and we'll do a table read for my next Patreon. Okay, great. Perfect. Perfect. Here's another one of those scene jokes. The doctor says, have your eyes ever been checked? And then Kyle says, no. And then what's his explanation? No. What's he say next? This is the doctor's next line or Kyle's next line? Kyle. Have your eyes ever been checked? No. But they've been in checkmate. Chest. No. They've been chest. I'm going in blind. No. I'm a terrible pupil. No, but I risk you. I risk. No, not this time. Great answer though. You guys are as good as this book. My eyes have never been checked, but I fold. I fold my eyelids. I fold my eyelids. I don't blink so. I don't blink so, so it's a pretty good deal. Good. Checked is an important word in this. Checked. Slovaki. Slovaki. Boom, shaboon. Boom, shaboon. Have your eyes ever been checked? No. Have your eyes ever been checked? Is it checked? You check someone in hockey, right? Isn't that like pushing someone? It's also checked is another, it's kind of a pattern. Argyle, ar, plaid, plaid. A plaid you. Have your eyes ever been checked? No. No. He says no. I've asked you for asking. And then it's another pattern that word? No. No. Have your eyes ever been checked? No. They've always been blue. But didn't you? Kyle, you're the doctor's office. You better ship up. If your mom hears that you've been acting this way at the doctor's office, she's going to be fucking livid, Kyle. You know what? I'm so goddamn mad at Kyle. I think I need to take a little break to cool off. B-R-E-A-K? No, but close. I think we're hate rich. Adel, Aaron, what do you think of my new hair? Before you ask, before you ask, yes, I did pull every piece of hair from my head because I was so stressed out about business finances. Yeah, buddy. That looks stressful. I love my new JPC wig. Thank you for this. And the best part, it was super painful to do because I used my hands and fingers. Wow. Should've used found. Right, Aaron? Should've used found. You should've used found because it saved you from all the stress. Oh, I should've used found. Found makes it easy for small business owners to put all of their finances in one place instead of a bank account here, QuickBooks there, tax invoicing apps stacked on top. Instead, I should've just used found. Found eliminates the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices, and taxes. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky outdated apps. Why did I not use found? And that's the thing JPC is, they've made it so easy. They've even automated things like tracking expenses, finding write-offs, and budgeting for tax time. You can even send your invoices for free and pay your contractors everything all from one app. They make it easy to regain control of your business finances. So you came back to doing what you love, JPC, like making wigs. Well, I am going to be doing a lot of making wigs now because I'm going to have to open up a new small business line that sells JPC hair wigs and people would buy them. So I can't even joke about making them because people would buy them. But I will use found and I will not stress out about having to use multiple different platforms to do everything that I need to do to run our business. We use found and I think that you should too. So take back control of your business today. Open a found account for free at found.com. That's F-O-U-N-D.com. Found as a financial technology company out of bank. Banking services are provided by Lead Bank, member FDIC. Join the hundreds of thousands who've already streamlined their finances with found. Oh, Aaron, look, the hair is in the shape of a backwards hat. I'm JPC. Look, I'm JPC. Whoa, I love it. I wish I had my hair back. Smells awful though. Come on. Okay, well, let me just do my final measurements here. Everything seems even. Check the doors. Adel, Aaron? I have using my skills as a woodworker. Have crafted a well-built wardrobe. A magical one where you can go into a magical world? No, I tried it. It's just wood. But it's well built. And I think when we said every adult should have sort of a well-built wardrobe, we didn't mean like the actual frame, like an actual wooden wardrobe. We went like in a quince way, like, you know, like having a lot of adult, well-made. The quality clothing that lasts. Quality pieces that work together. They hold up over time. You know, that's what quince does best. We told you that. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion, lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing season. I have a raincoat from them that I love. Jamesy, I held you down sort of clockwork orange style and held open your eyes. I showed you that quince's premium materials, thoughtful design, and everyday staples feel easy to wear and they're easy to rely on, even as the weather shifts in Chicago. This is making sense now. Because I was like, you were talking about how quince works directly with top factories and cuts out the middleman so you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. That's what you said. That's what you were doing with my eyes. And can I be honest with you, I did not build that well of a wardrobe. I mean, this thing is pretty loose. No, it's pretty loose. Hey, what? No. You could knock it over with a feather. Ooh, a nail just went right through my thumb. That's the best case scenario. They only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. I love their home stuff. I love their clothes. I can always count on them for the best quality. So don't be like that absolute fool JPC. Refresh your wardrobe with quince. Don't be foolish like JPC. Right now, go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it. And you will now available in Canada too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash riddle. RID DLE. Quince, quince, quince. My name is Mr. Tumnus. Please come with me. I'm Cohen. He came with the thing. I found him on Fiverr. You guys, I've been traveling a lot, out and about. And a friend recently told me I looked tired. Interesting. That old girl worn out looked a little tired. I forgot who said it to me, but someone very rude said I looked tired. And I'm so looking forward to getting back to my Helix mattress. Anytime I'm on the road sleeping in hotels, I cannot wait to get home the first night back. I have the best sleep ever. I love my Helix mattress. I have a Helix Midnight Lux and it is luxurious. My cats love it. All four of them. My Gemma loves it. It is the comfiest mattress I've ever owned. I say I also have a Helix Midnight Lux and I got my Helix Midnight Lux in 2021. And so it's all been almost five years sleeping on it. And I was changing my sheets the other day and looking at my mattress. And I was like, this thing looks brand new. It still sleeps as good as it did the first night that I had it. And I just don't think I ever want to sleep on another mattress. That's not a Helix mattress. They're so good. They're so comfortable. Same girl, same. Helix matches you with the perfect mattress based on your personal preferences and sleep needs. Makes buying a mattress easy. Just take a Helix sleep quiz. You can do a 120 night sleep trial in a limited lifetime warranty. So if you try it out and you don't love it, no problem. Plus you don't have to pick this mattress up. Have we mentioned this? This is free shipping and seamless delivery. They will deliver your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the U.S. Now is the best time to go to helixsleep.com slash riddle for the sleep week sale best of the web. It is 27% off site wide and that is exclusive for listeners of Hey Riddle Riddle. That's helixsleep.com slash riddle for the sleep week sale best of web 27% off site wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know that we sent you. Helixsleep.com slash riddle. Aaron, you're glowing. Oh, thanks. I just got a good night's sleep. JPC, how do I look? Yeah, good. Hey, riddle, riddle. Do you guys ever get the intrusive thought when you're at an eye doctor's office when they were like, read out these letters to just fucking read out random letters. Just do confidently and just go like, yeah, OXP1Z3. And just look at the doctor to see. It's like the picture of the Red House. Whenever they do the number one or number two. One or two. I always try and go, whatever makes sense. Whatever works for you. I did that once with a hearing test when I was in grade school because they were like, raise your hand when you hear the tone. And I remember sitting there with the ear things on and the tone going, I could hear it didn't raise my hand. They'd make the tone louder. Don't raise my hand. I remember the tone being so loud that it was like audible outside of the headphones. Like I could not only hear it in the headphones, I could hear it outside the headphones as well. I'm still like looking at them and I was like, is the tone, are we still doing the test? I'm starting to say your son is mega deaf. The band? Yeah. Yes. And just to be a little stinker. Classic bugs, buddy move. Yeah. You guys, some of these jokes. Aaron's putting that in quotes. Don't make any sense. And some of them are crazy. Let's Aaron, let's maybe at first glance, you don't like get the joke, but maybe we can help do one of the ones that doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Help me with this one. Sure. What's the best way to avoid falling hair? To pay the toll? Yes, to pay. What's the best way to avoid falling hair? See, that makes sense. Fall a coal, fall. Oh, fall a coal. Where have all the cowboys gone? My brain is just not working. What is, did Adel get it? Is it fall a coal related? No. Can you read it one more time? What's the best way to avoid falling hair? Don't be under it. Sweep it up. Whisp hair. The best way to avoid falling hair and Umbrella hair. An Umbrella hair. It's jump out of the way. Can you explain that to me? Well, I think it's probably like, don't be under it. Like it's the same thing. It's like, you fit, it's the subversion of you think it's going to be a pun, but really it's just like, move. Like the best way to avoid it is to get out of the way. A man walks into a bar with a second man ducks or whatever. Yes. Is hair spelled H-A-I-R? Yeah. Okay. Well, okay. Here's another one. Teacher, my goodness, Amy, you've been burping all morning. So inappropriate. And then Amy says, which is for sure about teacher bullying poor Amy. Also, the teacher's not offering any help or advice. It's not like, you know, drink some water with your like pinch, be your nose shot or something. It's just like, Amy, you seem to be a disgusting little bitch. That teacher should be fired. All right, I'll make a note. Amy, teacher, Amy, you seem to be burping all morning. Is that what it was? Yeah, it's cause Amy ate a specific breakfast food that is a pun. Belch. Nope. Belgium waffles. Yes. Belgium. You ate some Belgium waffles. I'd like to see a scene. Jesus. Adel, you are Amy's teacher and GPC, your Amy's dad who is set up a meeting to complain. It seems like you've been. Look, I don't want to accuse you. I know your job is hard, but from what Amy has told me, she's been singled out in class. Yes, but for good reason. Oh, okay. Well, I didn't expect that. What's the, what's the reason? Um, she's been burping and farting like a nasty little monster. Like nonstop. Like it's sort of, even when she's talking, she's burping while talking, which is sort of, sort of impressive, but also heinous. And then as she kind of walks her out the halls, she farts so much that she gets sort of little boosts. You know, in Mario Kart, when you press gas at the right time when the countdown's going? Yeah, you get like that where she just kind of like, she farts in a way that propels her forward. It's really disgusting. Well, okay. I know Amy's new to this, you know, to your classroom, to this school. I thought that, you know, when I notified the school that the front office would, would notify you, but, um, Amy has a, um, has a reason why she's doing all of these things. Amy is not my blood daughter. Okay. About 12 years ago, I guess, Jim Carrey was in a really dark place and he thought he was... Oh, 13 or whatever? Uh, the number, yeah, the number 23. 23, I think. Yeah. Uh, he thought he was losing it. He thought he didn't have what it took anymore. So he engaged in a very expensive cloning procedure to make perfect clones of himself. Amy is one of those clones. This makes so much sense because anytime she comes out of a room, she waves her arm and fatically behind her and says, do not go in there. Do not go in there. Yes. Um, that is why Amy is burping and farting and it's, it's actually quite funny. If you think about it in terms of who her father is, it's actually, it's actually quite funny. I think it's funny if I'm watching it on a screen, but... Exactly. When you smell... Alrighty then, are we good to go, Dad? Oh, hey. Hey kiddo. Hi. Hey, Amy, yep. We're, we're almost ready to go. We are almost ready to go. So we're going to go back to waiting in the car. That's not a Jim Carrey line. Uh, Amy, Amy, Amy, come back in. Amy, do you want to try that one more time? What are you going to be going to do? Are you going? I'm going, I'm just going to go sit in the car, Dad. It's not a Jim Carrey quote. I don't believe that that's the daughter. Remember who you are and say one more time something that you're going, just a line for exiting the room. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. than when I came in. Sure you did, Amy. Sure you did. Oh, is that the most annoying sound in the world? Kill me. I can't lie. My heart says super strong because of the Grinch. That's not even a lie for the book. You could say the pin is blue or something. That classic line from liar liar. I can't lie. All right. The first fisherman says, is this a good lake for a fish? And the second fisherman says, yes. Is this a good lake for a fish? No, because we're here catching them. Yeah, not if we're here catching fish. Yeah, it's basically that. It must be. I can't get any of them to come out. Oh, it feels kind of like the opposite. Like it, it's a good lake for a fish because if there is a fish in there, it's not being caught. Exactly. I'd like to see a scene. It was like one step further than I would have gone with that joke. Oh, okay. That's a compliment to the good people over here at. Yeah. Roodle Co. Oh, it's like. Aaron, can I call for a scene? Yeah, of course. There's four people who wrote this book. Aaron, I'd like you to be a worm on a hook. Great. And JPC, you're a fish who has caught sight of this worm and is figuring out what to do. Oh my, oh my God. Do you, do you, I'm sorry. Hey, do you need help? Holy shit. Don't pull it out because I'm going to bleed out. Pull it out. Um, I wouldn't be able to do any way. I don't, I'm not, I can't, you're really on there. Call the worm doctor. Call the worm doctor. I, I, I'm so sorry. I don't know if you don't, if you don't know where you are, but this is the water. There's no, there's a worm doctors in the water. All right. Do you have any fish doctors? Um, anyone really? Yeah, we do, but I just, I just don't think a fish doctor will be able to, you're really pierced on that thing. Wow. Good thing I'm with someone with a terrible attitude when I'm going through a medical emergency. Great. Someone who's just throwing in the towel on me. Hey, I'm trying to be a realist here, but I have to tell you this does not look survivable for you. You think I don't know that? Is there someone, is there, is there a message I can send out? Is there someone that I could? Can you tell my wife I didn't love her at all? I'm sorry, man. I'm not going to do that. Will you tell her that I actually loved Emily the whole time she was right? She was right that I did love Emily the whole time. It's, I'm a fish from the water, you're an earth in the lake. It's just such a big imposition for me to go all the way. Emily's my ex. Emily's my ex. She's the one that got away. Just to go all the way to your wife to tell her that. Please. It just feels cruel, but like you'll be dead and it would be like a huge hassle for me. Tell my wife. Oh my God, how did he die? Water, water, water. Green scene. Oh man. God yeah, because I don't think worms can't breathe in the water. So man, that's the torture of being put up and quartered. Being hooked and drowned. If that philosophy of you, when you die, you have to live through all the suffering you caused. Yeah. But poor fishermen are about to have a horrible post-death experience. Guys, we only do this to the worst of the worst worms. This isn't one of those things where we just say it's only to get the worst of the ones out of here and then we just go after all the worms. Yeah, they say that. It is not that thing. They say that. No, no, no, no, no. And then you run out of bad worms. These are bad worms. You guys, I just realized that if that's true, then we have to listen to probably every episode of Hair with a Riddle hundreds of thousands of times. Get to. Get to. Get to. Okay, okay. All right, let's actually be serious, you guys. Let's really get our head in the game here. Let's buckle down. Oh, I was going to do a listener-submitted riddle, but I don't know. Will I have time to do this? I figured out on the show. Oh, that's what you're doing. Yes. Yes. Okay, great. Yeah, we got time. Okay. Um, these are from Milo, they're them, and we can use their name. Hey, Calo Clucru probably, Aaron. Um, I work at the Huntington Library and we have several old-ass books of puns and riddles in our collection. And so these riddles are from 1870, if you can believe it. Oh, I remember those riddles like yesterday. Ooh, old man puzzles, the original old man puzzles. He's here, he came. Aaron, I'm sorry, 1870 is military time, it just means 7, 10 p.m. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, great. What musical instrument invites you to fish? Whoa, back-to-back fishing riddles? Mm-hmm, that's what I mean. What musical instrument invites you to fish? A tray and a stagio. Invite you to fish. Fish, yeah, tray and a stagio. The percussive instrument. The percussive, the drum fish, the timpani, the zylophone. The wiggily-felleted timpani. The cymbal. Timpani habish. The snare. It's a percussion instrument that invites you to fish? Something with a line in it. The Spanish. The maracas. No. It's a Spanish instrument. They're used in Spanish, Greek, Italian, Mexican, Portuguese, Brazilian culture. Marumba. Marumba. My Roomba. They're a little clicky. I love the sound of these. They're super satisfying. Clicky little. Clicky little. The steel drums. Oh, the, yeah, castanets. Castanet? You castanet? Oh my gosh. Isn't that great? Oh my gosh, you castanet. Castanets, okay. What's the difference between a fisherman and a lazy schoolboy? There's a lot. There's a lot that's different. One's, one's a fisherman and a lazy schoolboy. One does an audition for a theater and one simply does not cast, get cast. Yeah. Get cast, something about getting cast. No. No. They're like switching sounds of the beginning of words. Oh. Okay. Is cast close? Bates his hook and the other. Hook says bait. One baits his hook and the other one hates his buck. Yes. Whoa. How do we know that the dove is a very cautious little deer? That the dove is a very cautious little deer? Yeah. Doe, doe-ey-eye, doe-eyed? A dove is a cautious little deer? This one's impossible to get. Because if you remove the V, it's a doe? No. It has nothing to do with like, I think they just mean like deer is not literal. It's like, oh, a sweet little deer. Oh, D-E-A-R. Yeah. Very cautious. How do we know the dove is a cautious little deer? Or at least minding his best mind. A peace of mind, peace of mind. Jesus, that's what I like to talk about. Because he minds his own business. Peas and cues. Yeah, yeah, peas and, but it's a dove. Cues, cues. Cues, ooh, at all. Good dove sound. I didn't make a dove sound. What are you talking about? There's a dove on our zoom. Ooh. And guys, this next riddle, and I'm going to do the rest of these later, Milo. Thank you so much. But this next riddle is, am I willing to say this? Yes. This is my- KCQ, quick and drinkers ready. This is, I think, my favorite riddle we've ever had on the show. Holy shit. Aaron, is this, are you being for real? I'm being for real. This might be the only time I've ever laughed out loud. Holy shit. Okay, then you have to let us get this. You can't give us the answer. Adel, I'm telling you, if with a thousand years this would be impossible to get, because it's very bizarre, it's an insane answer. Is this a riddle or is this a skateboard fail compilation? Because those are the only two things in this world that I know could make Aaron laugh out loud. Buddy, you'll see. What's the difference between a mouse and a young lady? And these are still from 7, 10 p.m.? Yes. You guys, this is- What's the difference between a mouse and a young lady? Is this another one where we switch- From the 1870s, this is important, I think. You'll never find a mouse in a barn with a boy. Kind of, kind of, honestly. The difference between a mouse and a young lady. A young lady, always. Something, somethings. Yeah, one wishes to blank the other. One wishes to chit's ease. And the other one wishes to eat cheese. One wishes to be wed and the other one makes me wet my bed. One wants to make life better and the other one wants his wife to be cheddar. Keep going, guys, you're on a roll. One of them- You find a cheddar man. One of them, you catch in a trap and the other one traps you for life. You guys are basically getting it. Give us a hint, Aaron, give us a hint. No, you're basically. Okay, hold on. We can get this, we can get this. Cheese is one half of it. You guys literally cannot get this. I'm so sorry, but you can't get this. Is it like an old-timey term of like some sort of weird 23 skadoo shit? No, kind of. I mean, I guess kind of. One of them eats your cheese and the other one spins your cheddar. One of them, they use the word harm. What? I'll give you the mouse side of it. One wishes to harm the cheese, the mouse. The other wishes to harm the cheese. The other one wishes to charm the he's. Yes. All right. Okay. Hold on, let me read it all the way through. One wishes to harm the cheese, the other wishes to charm the he's. That is such a stretch. He's. I do want to see the scene. Yeah. Aaron, you're a young mouse in the 1870s and you are trying to pass as a young lady charming some school boys. Hey, you. Boys, boys, boys. Throw a handkerchief. Oh, that knocked in the head. Edward, Edward, I think she's talking to us. Oh, boys, boys, boys. Would any of you like to give me a spin around town? Perhaps walk me around the Riviera with my parasol. Whoa, that's the tiniest little lady I've ever seen. Maybe perhaps kiss my hand and then introduce me to your father. We wouldn't because we're normal sized young men, but we have a friend that might be interested in it. Oh, is he rich? I swear I'm worse more than my dowry implies. He's rich in personality. He's not rich for say, but he drives a brand new red sports car. Are you trying to set me up with? Stuart Little. I don't want to be with him. Enough. Why not? He's your size. Get in, bitch. I'm not falling for this again, Stuart. Fuck you, Stuart. Get in. No, you're a whore. What time? You're a whore. A whore pushes up sunglasses. Oh, yeah. You? I'm asking you. I'm doing a little donut. You love bomb me. You love me and then you drop me like it's nothing and the next thing I know, you're on a date. Oh, is that Stuart Little? I'll get in your car, big boy. Oh, yeah. Full-sized woman gets into a little red car. Oh, you're crushing the car. You're crushing the car. Get out, get out, get out, get out. Drive me, Stuart. Get out, get out, get out. Casey, do we have any wisdom, Deems? I'm not going to get in your car. I'm not going to get in your car. I'm not going to get in your car. I'm not going to get in your car. I literally got goosebumps. Unbelievable. That was some sort of sweetie Todd Parity from Julia Megan Sullivan. If you want to submit a voicemail theme, make it 30 seconds or less and send it to hrrpodcast.gmail.com. Thank you, Julia, for submitting. I loved that. Thank you so much. Hey, Clue Crew. I'm hoping to get your perspectives on a situation with my relatives. I'm on a family group chat with an aunt and uncle, and a few days ago my aunt posted pictures of some flowers in her garden. Right after my uncle posted a multi-paragraph rant on morality and asked people to debate him, no one has responded. So my questions are, one, how would you respond? And two, how does your family get ready for Thanksgiving? Love the show. Thanks. Bye. Incredible. Dude, you know what I mean? Oh, that uncle is having an existential crisis. He is spiraling. The response, I would go chaos option, okay? I'm not responding to the uncle, obviously. I'm responding to the aunt. Like, I'm hitting reply on the aunt's message, which is just the nice picture of flowers. And I'm putting, these flowers suck, dumbass. Yeah, with outright hostility. You start debating the flowers. Outright hostility towards the aunt's flower picture, nothing towards the uncle's morality rant. That is wild to demand that your family debate you on morality. I don't think that this person said, they said it was an uncle and an aunt, right? Did they say that they were a married couple? No. So this could be an uncle and a different aunt, right? Yeah. That's awesome. That's brother and sister. Oh, I don't know what I'd do. Throw your phone into a river? I don't know. I would respond to the flowers, honestly. Yeah. I'd at least heart the pictures of the flowers. Heart them all. Emphasize the message and don't respond. Or emojis. Just the heart reacts on every one of the messages. That's so confusing because you're like, I love it all. I love the crazy shit my uncle said. I love the beautiful pictures my aunt said. Oh, what about the gift of the monkey puppet that's like side-eyeing? That's like awkward side-eyeing? I think that'll work. And my family, my arm of the family does aderves for Thanksgiving. So we help my mom with that. That's how we prepare. Adel? What do I do to prepare for Thanksgiving? I don't really see family during Thanksgiving. So I don't do anything to prepare. I do friendsgiving, so we usually make a dish. I think what did I do this year? This year, oh, this year we made deviled eggs. Or I guess last year, last Thanksgiving we made deviled eggs. But I also think that in terms of what's going on in your specific family, I don't think you ever need to engage anyone in debate if they are not presenting good faith arguments. And I do think if people are presenting bad faith arguments, you can respond in kind with bad faith arguments. So I would say if your uncle is one of these people who doesn't really understand what trolling is, you could just troll him for as long as possible with bad faith responses to his argument. And I think that that would be very funny to watch. But also it would ruin the piece of the group chat. So maybe it's funnier to post an out-of-context gift. Don't do one that's like, don't do Michael Jackson eating the popcorn or whatever, just post a gift of like Captain Planet coming up with some sludge or something. Like something that's like a total non sequitur. That's so funny. Hey, but good luck to you. And if you have a question or a comment or some sort of voicemail that you want to leave for us, what is it, 805 Rental 1, I think is the number, make it 30 seconds or less. You could get it featured on the show. Addle, do you have anything that you would like to plug? I don't think so. Do you have anything? Check out Gumshoes and Dragons. Over on our Patreon, Anthony and I might be rewatching Once Upon a Time on ABC. If anyone remembers that show and talking about it. So if you want to check that out, that is maybe over there. JPC, anything to plug or review to read? We cannot say for sure. Yeah, let's let's read a review. You want to get a five-star review featured on the show, just write one, send it to wherever you read, leave reviews. And I might read it today. I'm reading Not for Human Consumption by Mach 24. Would not recommend this product to anyone. It upset my stomach and gave me the same effect as I would have prepped for a colonoscopy. I have used the bathroom about 20 times over the past four hours. Every time I think I'm done, I get the call. I have used a legit full roll of TP with no signs of stopping anytime soon. Also, I tested my blood sugar after eating the gummies and it did spike me. Save your money and your beeholt. Do not ingest these gummies unless you need an alternative to traditional laxatives. And then it just says, hey, we're in a rental question mark. Love it. I think that is, I think that is one of those reviews for those like Haribu gummies. I want to go back slightly and say send that word for word to your uncle. Yeah, there we go. At all. You're genius. Send the Amazon review for the gummies that people think are laxatives to your uncle. Well, guys, I'm on my way to harm some cheese or charm some he's so I'll catch you on the other side. Hey, I didn't bitch. Stuart. Stuart. Stuart. Hey, there, Jim's and Lee's. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's a deep dive into the author of the Reacher books, Lee Child. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. Hey, Rental Rental, by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or starting a seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus, you get those ad free episodes. See you there. That was a hit gun podcast.