Episode 6 - The Olympics

Hello and welcome to the Shelf Aware podcast. I'm Wren. And I'm Lizzie. And we are two lit-obsessed sisters who love to talk about our favorite books, our favorite TV shows, our favorite movies, and analyze them in great, great, great levels of detail. This week, we are continuing on with Episode 2 of Heated Rivalry. And just a few reminders, as always, one being that we are primarily focused on the show, less so the books, although we will occasionally bring in some little tidbits from the books just to add some additional context. But just because there have been some changes made with the show, we try to focus mainly on the show. And then the other thing to keep in mind always is that we do tend to draw parallels between this episode and feature ones. So if you're not fully caught up on the show and you are sensitive to spoilers, that is just something for you to be aware of. But yeah, we're back. After a brief delay where I... Died. Dude, I was so sick. I know. I hate being sick. Ugh. it worked out i think because we get to talk about the olympics while the winter olympics are going on so true so true and i like i feel like i pushed myself so hard that at a certain point like my body's like you know what you need to sit down yeah it's like we're gonna make you sit down and so i did i sat down um so yeah so good times good times when we're back you're still back baby we're back very exciting you're gonna get to spend so much time with me this week yeah this me yes yeah yeah i guess i guess listeners too i guess we had a lot of time with us this week yeah you're gonna come up and you're gonna come up and see me on friday we're gonna go to that vampire ball yeah no i'm really excited that's gonna be fun as fuck that's gonna be fun i'm excited no it'll be good please bring my dress uh yeah i'm gonna bring a couple okay so um for those of you that didn't see our posts on instagram as i we were just talking about i got sick so we are a little behind on our schedule but we're gonna post this episode is gonna go up on monday and then we're gonna post on friday this week as we typically would so we will be back on track double feature this week unplanned but here we are yeah it'll be fine yeah it'll be good because i honestly think that this whole like olympics section of this episode is like one big huge about together they kind of need to be together because each scene is a direct result of the scene before it absolutely yeah and i think you just learn so much about ilia especially during these scenes about shane too but like i mean this is a huge like kind of like reveal for ilia and like how much pressure that he's under and i mean it does really set up so much of what's going to happen and not just for um for ilia and shane but also we get some some Scott Hunter in this episode. So yeah, there's a ton that happens in this section. So I have, I think I have six pages of notes. Yeah. We're back in it. So that sounds about right. That sounds about right. So yeah. So where we last left off was Shane and Ilya's first hookup. We left Shane on the stairs looking lovestruck and sitting with his thoughts and Ilya doing his cute little bye. We know they're going to the Olympics because they talk about it. They talk about going on a series and Shane talks about how excited he is. He talks about the fact that his parents aren't going to be there. We know that Ilya is going to be there playing for Russia. So like we kind of get this teed up and then we go right into the Olympics, which this is the 2014 Winter Olympics. And I remember these Olympics pretty well. I remember these Olympics because um hold on there is a pairs there's a pairs team from Canada that I believe I think it was the 2014 Olympics they did um they did a program to Moulin Rouge I think that's 14. Is that the one to Roxanne? yes yes it could have been 18 as well now that i'm thinking about it i'm not sure it was one of the two yeah but that pairs team had been around for a long time and so they competed at 14 to 2014 as well but that if anybody has not seen that la rouge skate is i watch it probably once a month it's so good and i think i've watched that several times i love that you and i both like had a period in our life not at the same time where we obsessed over moulin rouge i've never left it um i also go back and um watch my gosh what is his name he played uh what is the was the artist what is the writer's name oh my god it's you and it's you and mcgregor but like what mcgregor it's a teen and what is his name i'm completely blanky wait hang on this is embarrassing look it up but hey god no because i love that we both remember yeah i'm like satin and christian christian christian okay christian yes yeah who plays who played christian on broadway relatively recently and my god i don't it's it's a very specific guy but his performance of roxanne went viral and i've sent it i've sent it to you i know i have that's i think roxanne might be my favorite song in moulin rouge like i mean i think they're the version of it that is in moulin rouge with the just the gravelly and the desperation is oh i eat that shit up but you know i'm nothing if that consistent but yeah so was it Okay, so was that the 2014 Olympics? I'm going to have to go back and look now. I don't know. One of the two. I love the, I love the, I love me a figure skating routine. I love figure skating. I will be watching hockey this time. I'm going to be rooting for Canada. Canada, please. Okay. That's so fair. Can we normalize rooting for athletes that are not from your country? because there's a Japanese men's figure skater that I am obsessed with. And I think he's such a cutie patootie. And he has the technique and precision of he is so locked in. And I love him so much. And I wanted to share something about him on social media. And I was like, am I going to get shit on for this? Well, there's also an Ilya. there's an ilia for the yeah competing for a team usa he's in men's figure skating and he is freakishly talented yeah i mean just unbelievably unbelievably good 21 years old explaining this to chris the other day because she doesn't she's kind of fallen off figure skating which was surprising to me um and i was like no he does like a quad axle and she's like but people have been doing quads i'm like no a quad axle no that is four and a half rotations and he's actually the first person to land that in competition yeah and he's insane and i remember last winter olympics nathan chen was competing for the u.s and he had like four quads in his program and that was unheard of and now ilia's his free skate is has seven which is fucking insane no it's unreal i mean yeah no i've watched some of his routines and yeah i mean it's just he skates a lot in his i don't even know what they're called like exhibition skates that he does like when he's traveling with other professional skaters he skates to nf a lot and i'm obsessed with that also happy bad bunny concert day to all who celebrate weirdly they're playing bonito weirdly they're playing football before and after his show which is a choice i guess but you know whatever i don't know what that's about but anyway happy bad bunny day to all who celebrate are the teams even playing in this i actually have no fucking idea no i don't know either i have no idea i started to ask this word not my husband because he doesn't know either i started to ask dad this word and then i was like you know what i he would judge you so hard he would be like i was like you know he would be so disappointed i don't care but i do know that bad buddies played so that's that is all i care about all week i've been listening to and i listened to his music before but i've been like brushing up a little bit well you know what so i love i love his music and i like to listen to his music when i'm writing because i am not nearly as fluent in spanish as i would like to be so i don't really like zone out yeah right i don't really know what i don't know all of what he's saying but i i know the emotion even if i can't translate yeah even if I can't translate the words I can translate the emotions and that's really what I need when I'm writing anyway so it actually really helps because I don't get distracted by the lyrics I just can I can just vibe so yeah no I love them anyway Benito all of we're all over the place in this intro well it's yeah happy anyway the Olympics in 2014 in heated rivalry which is what we're here to talk about today. What we know is we go from, again, the stairwell kiss, we go right into the Olympics, and then we immediately understand that this has not gone well for Ilya. And we do get a little bit of the information that Ilya has been chosen as this country's captain. We get right away that Russia has had a very disappointing performance, which is the Olympics are set in Russia this year. So that makes it even more, again, disappointing. One of the things that I love that they did was the announce, we get that announcer voice that we're kind of used to, but we also get like the podcast. It's the Man in the Crease podcast, but then they start layering all of these announcers and journalists questions over each other. And so I think it does two really cool things. I think one, it kind of reminds you that this is a global stage. Then two, how overwhelming it sounds. It sounds overwhelming, like to have all of these people talking over each other. And then you are zeroing in on Ilya, who is in front of the cameras. He's got the microphone in front of his face and he is looking very anxious. He is not his usual self because they've just lost. He's not his usual cocky self. He's he looks overwhelmed. He looks upset. He looks unhappy. He's like hunched in on himself, like his body language while he's while he's taking those questions. And it actually reminds me a lot of how he looks at the press conference. when Shane steps in for him. And this time, Shane is not physically next to him. But we see Ilya kind of taking all these questions. And then the little next thing we see is Shane trying to figure out how to be there for him. Because Shane is sitting in the cafe with his phone out. And we see the fleece. The fleece that everybody has lost. They're shit over. Which, by the way, in case anyone did not see the announcement, the province of Canada is teaming up with heated rivalry to produce that fleece. they are going to release the fleece. So if you are interested in having one of those fleece, I think you have to sign up for their email notifications or something like that. But they did post something about that on, on Instagram. And I think there's been some press releases about it. So you too can have a fleece. I'm going to be all over that. I want one bad, but we see Shane scrolling on his phone. He's got his text message chat open with Ilya. We see the last texts on there are the ones from their last hookup. we see shane text ilia so from that last hookup we see shane texting ilia and the last thing he says is use the back entrance please and then which was so funny because i was reading the text and my mind immediately went to a dirty place and i love that ilia's did too because it ilia's response is just the little devil emoji and then i think shane's is like i roll emoji or something like that but oh my god it's so funny because we don't see them send that text so it was it was I know we talked about last episode where we're like, okay, well, Shane must have texted him. So we see a little bit of that. But then you can see Shane kind of just sitting there trying to figure out what to send him. And one thing that people did message after talking about their texts in the last episode is one of the key differences from the book is that in the book, Shane and Ilya delete their texts. After they send them, they don't keep them at all because they're afraid if somebody finds their phone. As I was watching the show, I thought that it was interesting that they were not, and you could still see their messages, I thought that was interesting. Yeah. Because the names, like, them changing each other's names is obviously going to disguise their actual identity somewhat, but it would not be hard for somebody to, like, read those messages and be like, this is not, this is not. Well, especially because you think of some of the ones that Ilya sends where he's like, yeah, the playoffs are fun. Why aren't you here? I'm going to score nine goals next week. I mean, some of the ones that Ilya sends are very you could make a jump pretty quickly about who he is. But I think that I mean, I like for our purposes that they leave the text and we can see that that we can see. And I don't know if it's done just so that we can see that they're not texting back and forth apart from what we see. but yeah that is a that is a pretty big change from the show in terms of or change from the book to the show it is that they're not deleting their text messages so as a result we can see their texts and what i really loved about this scene too is you know you have shane staring at his phone the song that's playing and shane's got his headphones in the song that's playing it's called Chelsea Mon Amour, which is a French love song, which is very fitting for Shane. He's sitting there listening to his headphones. He's trying to think about what to say. And I completely missed this until I just rewatched it this morning. But while he's sitting there thinking about what to say, we see Yuna text him and she goes, is everything OK? Don't forget to wear your Reeboks. And then she goes, XO, XO. And Shane seeing her say, is everything OK? He then texts Ilya, hey, are you doing okay? And so I think that we see this a couple times, especially with Shane and Yuna, like where Yuna, I think really did show Shane how to show love. And I think we see another sign of that here. He sees his mom just checking in and it gives him enough of a little bit of a blueprint to be like, okay, okay, this is, I can just check in with Ilya. I can just say, is everything okay? And I think that's so important for Shane because I think we see that so much in the cottage episode when they are having that conversation when shane and yuna are talking outside we we see that shane has again learned from his mom and from david too how to show love because yuna is the one who says i'm like hey hey and that's what he does with ilia where when ilia is getting upset he does that like you know hey and then she says to him i love you so much and that is also what shane says to Ilya he doesn't just say I love you he says I love you so much and so I think this is like such an early little sign of that he's taking his cues from his his parents of how to how to show love and and how to check in with Ilya and how to comfort Ilya and so I think that that was just like a really cool thing and I did not notice that up until until just now yeah I think Shane that was interesting watching that scene i think we've talked about that they obviously have much stronger feelings for each other than they are like yeah oh yeah yeah i think watching somebody that you love or at least very much care for at this point yeah um suffer a loss on the biggest sports stage in the world yeah is really hard and that would i mean like that's hard for shane and so i think you know reaching out and saying hey are you okay it prompts shane to be like i'm not really okay ilia like i can't even imagine like what he's going through right now and so then yeah prompting him to reach out to ilia and be like well i think another thing just to kind of talk about briefly is those the the Russian Olympics in 2014 and I think the show does talk about it a little bit when when Vaughn and Scott Hunter show up like there was a lot of press I remember at the time talking about this the kind of the the standards that existed in the Olympic Village when when athletes got there and that Russia like up until the very last minute and even past that was still kind of in preparation mode where you had hotels and athlete quarters that were unfinished in some cases they didn't have running water and so i think there was i remember there being a lot of press about that at the time that it was not it was like that there were certain and that doesn't happen with every athlete but i know that there were athletes that were hosting stories talking about the facilities and stuff like that so i can imagine too shane's parents checking in because of that and i think we see a little bit in the scene with vaughn and scott again where um shane kind of makes the comment he's like he's like does your room smell like that oh my god is it black mold jj thinks it's black mold so i mean i think again it's like for a multitude of reasons also he's away from home this is one of the probably the few times that his parents aren't with him i mean his parents are always at his stuff and so i'm sure that his mom is probably sweating a little bit and like you know is everything okay and again i think to your point he's seen iliad suffer this loss would bother Shane so much because Shane I mean we've seen how hard Shane takes it when he loses and so I think you know Shane does this is something that Shane can really easily understand of how upsetting this would be and then amplifying that by the fact that it's at the Olympics Shane has been looking for the Olympics by his own admission like he knows this is a huge deal and he knows that Ilya for all of his bluster and stuff like that but Ilya is gonna care so I think he he checking in And yeah I mean it would be really really hard And I think this is the first time too you see Shane after their hookup, where that was a much deeper experience for both of them than I think they planned on. Shane is feeling feelings. And I think we talked about at the end of the last episode, where when Shane and Ilya are talking at the end in the stairwell, Shane says to him, so we're not going to see each other at the Olympics. that like kind of there being this implication of okay then when are we going to see each other next in shane's mind at this point i do think he thinks i should reach out to him i should because we are at that level yeah like i think that first time changed things the first yeah i think where they left things i think in shane's mind he's like i should reach out to him this is this is the relationship we have now yeah they were happy like they're in a good place yeah yeah yeah good terms and so i think yeah so you see him send the hey you're doing okay yeah and then pretty much immediately after is when scott hunter and um his teammate vaughn come in and yeah or bonnie as scott calls him and what i love to again is how they use music because the music immediately stops shane pulls his headphones out they kind of surprise him right and but vaughn immediately asks about russia like they've all they all know about it it's a huge upset yeah i was gonna say and and latvia which i didn't know this i like looked into a little bit latvia historically um kind of fights above their weight class in hockey which was kind of interesting to me like they they're better than you would think for the population that they have yeah but still it's like latvia is better than you would think at hockey but russia is russia really russia it's russia and canada and the u.s yeah well poor latvia was like catching strays i was like shitting on latvia it's like there's a couple of places it's like when they're at the the tuna melt day on the couch where they're like i can't remember is it buffalo or they're like well buffalo sucks and like you know but yeah but poor latvia catching strays but they come in they start asking about it and then scott tells vonny to be he goes be nice vonny and so again you can see this picture of scott as a good guy he's not he's not reveling in ilia losing none of them are they're all just kind of like man this is crazy but what i love the line for like yeah professional players at a certain point when you get to the olympic stage it's hard to be shitty even if it's somebody that you don't necessarily think is a great person you maybe don't want to always be seeing them win yeah losing having an upset and losing on the olympic stage is not something that any serious athlete would ever wish upon their actual worst enemy and i think that's like the line for them they're like you know what we will shit on him the rest of the year but like the olympics that's where we draw the line yeah well and i mean i think too i mean even from scott's perspective i mean shane and elia still are so young in their careers here they're very very young i mean and so i mean it's a it's a ton of pressure but one of the things i think is really really interesting about this little chat that they have is von says to shane he goes what did ross say about it he asks shane what ilia said about it and you can i don't think that scott said anything to him about it because scott looks kind of surprised and i don't think scott would do that i think i think this happens a couple times where i think the whole world um assumes that they communicate with each other more than other people on other teams because they have this like thing yeah i think yeah that people i think people just connect them they're sending each other like aggressive dms and yeah i mean like you fucking suck and like i feel like people think that they go out of their way to shit on each other so they probably like have talked about some shit like this yeah which i don't and i don't know if it's like just kind of a subconscious thing or because like even as scott says in in the um first episode at the rookie of the year thing he goes he goes well it's always you know it's always rosanoff and hollander right so i think people just kind of naturally tie them together but i thought it was really interesting for fun to be like what does ross say about it and shane um he's like well he didn't say anything about it to me that's that's for sure you know like it's either that or as i was watching i was thinking maybe i mean i think that it's pretty common to play up like rivalries between players for fans but I also think it's one of those things where the athletes know a lot of times it's not that serious and so I don't know there's I think there's a chance that they could also I'm not saying that his teammates think that they're best friends but I think that there's probably a good chance that they're like well they don't actually hate each other as people and they do attend a lot of events together because they are their rivals and people pull them together any chance they can get yeah so yeah no i thought yeah i thought it was really interesting because you know like i said i think scott kind of looks surprised and then uh i think shane then says i think besides he knows canada has this in the bag and then scott and vaughn are like no it's you know team usa all the way and shane does his you'll look great in silver bonnie just the sweetest shit talking in the world and shane he's such a he's such a sweet bean but i love them there's something that i find really funny too about like then it cuts to them just having their little sweet treats just like all sitting just talking and um just kind of keeping each other company having a little you know i don't know if it's ice cream or like frozen yogurt but um i think that it's just this cute little moment of camaraderie and that is when they also start talking about the conditions of the rooms like we were just talking about where shane's like does your room have that smell jj says it's black mold and then scott says you know it probably is but he but he starts to say we're not going to be here long enough to i think he's kind of trying to soothe shane a little bit he's kind of trying to be like it's okay just again kind of taking like a little bit more of this like mentorship role with shane and you know i i think scott definitely has this kind of protective role down. I think you see him do that with his team too. Like he very much, part of the reason why he is not out is because he feels he needs to take care of his team and he feels like he owes all of these things to other people. So I think you see this again with Scott, kind of this natural protective instinct. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, you know, and I think too, you see Shane being just so sweet about, you know, Shane is one of the top hockey players. in the world and he just doesn't he's not super cocky like no just like very he's very sweet and so then um von starts talking about men's figure skating he kind of cuts off what hunter was saying and shane immediately jumps in he says that one of his friends is in the men's figure skating he loved to show up for him again shane is just so sweet and then that's when von starts saying um that he would show up for any dude who's that brave and just to kind of set some additional context from this time period. The Russian Olympics in 2014, one of the big things, in addition to some of the conditions that the athletes had in their rooms, was one of the big controversies and one of the big pushbacks at the time from other countries was that right before the Olympics, so like the June prior, June 2013, Putin had just signed a law that basically argued that non-traditional sexual relations or non-traditional relationships were a danger to society. I remember this happening. I remember this happening. And so the law, he claimed at the time, would uphold traditional values. And a lot of people saw it for exactly what it was, which was a way to basically condemn homosexuality and the LGBTQA plus community. So, I mean, this was a huge deal at the time. And this happened right before. And, you know, unfortunately, things have not greatly improved in Russia since then. But this was a huge deal at the time. This caused a lot of discussion. This was something that, you know, other world leaders were talking about. I mean, this was this was a big deal going into Russia. So what Vaughn is talking about was a was a big deal at the time. And so I think this kind of shows you a little bit to how Shane how out of touch a little bit. Shane is about some of this stuff because Shane immediately is like, what do you mean? And you kind of see Scott look between Vaughn and Shane. And I think, again, a little bit of that protectiveness because, I mean, Scott knows that Shane is is gay. I think he at this point suspects he thinks he's he definitely thinks that there's something going on between Shane and Ilya. We know. Well, we don't know yet, but we will we will find out very shortly that Scott is also gay because the next episode is Scott and Kip's episode. Yeah. Which I remember watching this episode and seeing Scott's reaction and being like, you know, I mean, I think because Scott and Shane both get similar looks on their face of like, oh, shit. But because, you know, as Vaughn is talking about, you know, Russia is not safe. Scott gets this really introspective look on his face. You see Shane kind of getting anxious. He does the jaw clench. But I mean, this is like kind of a charged moment. Vaughn rightly says he's like, you know, balls of steel to come and be who you are in a place like this. So, I mean, this was a this was a huge deal going into these Olympics in particular because of where they were in Russia. And I think this is that first moment where, again, showing how much that Shane is not aware of some of the stuff that's going on. And then, too, that this is Shane's first exposure kind of to what some of what Ilya is dealing with. And it immediately makes him more anxious because you immediately see him check his phone after Vaughn says that and like look back at his text. I think Vaughn saying that, I agree. shane and and scott have very similar looks on their face i think in that moment it's worrisome to both of them for slightly different reasons i think when vaughn says that scott in his head is thinking it's it's like reaffirming his yeah like hesitations that he's like yeah this entire like this is not a safe like hockey is not a safe space to be sports are not a safe space to be gay there entire countries where it's not a safe space to be gay so i think that's reaffirming scott's decision to not really ever and come out until he's out of that world in general and he's retired and i'm sure some of shane's like panic that you see him experience is i'm sure a little bit of his is directed towards himself but i think the majority of it is a big light bulb moment of yeah this is why this is probably why ilia is so damn weird every time he talks about going home and why he sounds so angsty and why he sounds miserable yeah and you know we'll get into it but we see like he he realizes that and the next time that they see each other shane starts poking it because he's like i need to know if this is yeah why you feel this way yeah i think you get I think you get a hint of it just in Shane's reaction. And again, he checks his phone right away. He does that kind of jaw clench. You can see him getting anxious again with those micro expressions. And you can see when they do go to the figure skating, he's looking around. But I remember there is a part in the book where after he has this conversation, he really worried. He really is worried that I think he kind of has this internal monologue moment where he's like, wants to text Ilya and be like, so the Olympics are fun. How's it going? Are you in jail? He's like really worried that something has happened to Ilya because I think, too, he's also in the in the book. He's also worried that Ilya is out hooking up with people and that he's going to get caught. And which, you know, we know seeing what Ilya is going through in Russia, that is actually not at all what Ilya is doing. But Shane's mentality. And I actually don't think Shane is thinking that in the show so much as much as he was in the book. I think at this point in the show, because they had just, again, come off of their first time really being together in that way. And it was such a deep emotional connection. And Shane is in kind of a little bit more of a relationship-y place. I don't think Shane is having that specific concern. But I think he is concerned that Ilya could potentially be in trouble. And so I think it makes him even more anxious when Ilya doesn't immediately text him back and let him know that he's okay. because Shane is like, oh shit, you know, this is, this is a thing. So yeah, I mean, again, I think just to add some additional context for these, these games in particular, this was a huge deal was the safety of the, was the safety of the LGBTQ plus communities. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, it's still, it's still an issue and it will still continue to be an issue. and yeah um yeah one of us amber she's a part of the queer community and is like ow and has shared that she was concerned about it frankly yeah um and she also i don't want to get off topic but she looks i don't know if you've seen her state she looks very strong like she looks like an athlete and she growing up through all of her competitions would always wear like fully like long sleeve competitive uniforms because she was afraid that the judges were going to like see like visible muscle and like deduct points which has nothing to do with her being queer but poor girl that whole well i mean i think it's just it's more and more pressure on when you when it should be purely about this like the sport all of these all of these factors that are coming in all of these pressures that are coming in on extremely young people by the way like i mean most olympic athletes are very young they're very young people and so i mean i think it is it is a thing where It's like, you know, I mean, I remember, you know, I mean, I think that's where I got Ileana. The rugby player, the female rugby player. Ilona. Ilona. Thank you. I got Ilya on the brain. Ilona. Yeah. Who are you talking about? Ilona. Thank you. I was freaking out. But I mean, her kind of like body positivity campaign, I think it's been so impactful where she, you know, has talked about feminine doesn't just look one way, you know. And so I think that it is one of those things where the athletes are under so much pressure and, you know, female athletes feeling like they have to be under pressure to to to be physically fit for their sport. But then not. But then still look feminine is crazy. And that it like falls under like a certain definition of feminine. So I think that, you know, we see in several different ways just some of the pressures that these athletes are put under. And I think in one case it is, you know, the the fact that someone's sexuality should have any bearing at all. Yeah. On their ability to play a sport is insane. Well, it's just you have the armchair athletes who are like sitting behind a TV. Cannot compete with any of these athletes, but feel like they have the right to pass judgment on. Like, baby, sit down. You will never be where they are. No. And honestly, let's be let's be real. What that most often is rooted in is their own personal insecurity because they're looking at someone who is better than them in this in this area. And they feel like they have to tear them down because they're jealous. It's rooted in their own insecurity. Again, just kind of adding all of this context for why this is such a big moment for Shane to kind of have this understanding. And then to adding this layer of understanding for what Ilya is up against, knowing that Ilya is Russian. Ilya's citizenship is Russian. So why the risk of being outed and why his relationship with Shane or his relationship with anybody and the potential for him to get caught and get outed would be so incredibly hard for him and poses a risk to him that Shane does not experience. Because, again, he is Russian. He's a Russian citizen. His son of visa to be playing in the in the United States. And if he gets outed and then loses his hockey career and potentially has to go back to Russia, outed. That's that is a huge risk for him. And so I think that's one of the things, too, where understanding the stakes for both of them is really important in terms of understanding why Ilya reacts the way he does. And oftentimes why when Ilya comes back up against Russia, you know, when we saw at the end of the Rookie of the Year award, why Ilya is so upset just thinking about going back to Russia and he pushes Shane away. And here we have him in Russia. and what that brings up for him is just it's a reminder of all the reasons why his relationship with shane in his mind is never is never never going to work so um and i think that we do see that in the next scene we see that shane and scott and bond have gone to the men's figure skating and they're they're sitting in the crowd they're they're watching and then you know at the same time shane is kind of looking around and he looks up and he sees he sees ilia standing up there all in black like batman looking over gotham basically like i mean he's like up there just i mean he's up there alone um and what's so funny is you see shane see him and you see shane and i'm getting like oh there he is and so shane is looking over at ilia and then scott looks to see where shane is looking and scott sees ilia and he's like he kind of you can tell he's like i'm trying not to smile because then immediately shane is like i'm gonna go to the bathroom i'm gonna i'm gonna go to the bathroom the brow his subtlety is just it gotta be studied what do you mean he so smooth he so secretive he moves in secret no one could ever catch him so yeah so you see ilia or he see ilia he sees shank it up he sees ilia and then we go back to ilia and ilia at the moment is getting and i just want to add a qualifier that we are using the rush um the hbo max translation so if we are mistranslating anything from russian we apologize but ilia gets a text where he gets the text from i think alexi it's alexia yeah and alexi says where the fuck are you dad is so mad at you so not only does ilia feel like he's let his country down he's let himself down but then he also is basically hiding out from his dad and from alexi that's why like alexi's actively looking for him yeah yeah yeah i'm so glad that we don't see alexi honestly because i would just want to punch him in the face but i think the fact that we don't see alexi is actually very relevant because like alexi is not invited it doesn't look like the minister meeting or anything like that uh no i i don't know like what and i don't know if it's talked about in the book i don't remember um i don't know what ilia and alexi's dad i don't know what the vibes are with alexi like i don't know if ilia's dad is ashamed does ilia's dad know that alexi is like a drug dealer and isn't like i think what are the vibes i mean i don't feel like you ever really get a scene with alexi and i mean i don't think you really get as much you don't ever see them together no you never see them together and i mean so i think this this one little glimpse here i think where he's like you know dad is so mad at you i mean i think we can i think we can assume from the fact that like you know ilia later says he's like my dad is police my brother is police so alexi followed in their dad's footsteps but he well but i think it's like i think it's one of those things where he has i kind of honestly picture alexi as like a was it a situation where you know ilia was kind of always the golden child because he had this tremendous ability in hockey and you know was alexi going into the police force alexi's way of trying to get some of that validation you know kind of yeah to compete with it and i don't think it works but you know i think we've talked a lot about how ilia is kind of simultaneously the golden son and the black sheep in the family but i think alexi also um i don't get the sense that alexi and the dad are tight because you know ilia even says to him like you know dad called me this morning he asked me to bring back bread and alexi's like well he's stupid like i i don't get the i don't get a vibe like i don't get a vibe that ilia is if anything i get the vibe that ilia and his dad's relationship is maybe a little closer than alexi and his dad's because alexi very clearly resents having to take care of him i want i think ilia and his dad have hockey to talk about like i think that they bond well well i think he's i think he's someone for his dad ilia is someone for his dad to show off is the thing. He's someone for... And he's not doing that with Alexi. I mean, that's the thing. I don't think Ilya's dad has a close relationship with either of his sons. I think his sons are... To him, they're nothing else but ways to kind of... They're a legacy item. Like, if they're not... Yeah. If they're not directly... If they're not... like you know directly making him look good i i don't think he and even when they are you know i don't think he i don't think he gives a fuck at all i mean i think you know he's very cold i feel like the meeting with the minister i feel like that was like uh i think that was like a team i don't know if it was just like a hockey thing or maybe like a team russia thing i think that was like a like a sports dinner i think it was like a party yeah yeah because sasha and um spell honor are both there and they both have ties to hockey yes yeah yeah yeah yep um very true but it is funny that we really don't see alexi yeah um so yeah so we get this text that from alexi to ilia so we get this additional dose of pressure and then and then shane and then we see shane come up and even the way shane says hey he's happy to see him yeah he's like hey found you like i mean it's very like yeah i mean he's not expecting at all to get pushed away what reaction he's about to get no no he's very much like hey you know good to see you so it's heartbreaking how you know ilia looks at him very briefly and then it says not here and then looks back out and ilia pretty much this whole conversation will not make eye contact and this is a thing that ilia does when he's trying to push away i would break so fast baby girl bottom eyes shane yeah and then i think you see shane immediately kind of realize and so he he kind of tries to comfort and because i think again shane shane has also learned from the interaction on the rooftop that that ilia you know a little bit more about how to kind of approach ilia when he's upset like this he kind of learned a little bit from last time so he says he's like no i'm not you know in other words i'm not coming up to you for you know it's not like i'm gonna be like hey i thought we could no and so he says i saw you up here and i wanted to see how you were doing and ilia again fine go sit down i just immediately shut there is a 10 foot wall between ilia and shane during this conversation And he is immediately not. Nope, go sit down. And again, Ilya is very aware of of where he is. He is very aware of what things are like in Russia. And he also has this added pressure of he knows his dad is looking for him. He knows his dad doesn't like Shane. I mean, because I mean, Shane has his dad has said in prior conversations, you will not lose to him. like his dad has a thing about the rivalry between shane and ilia like he doesn't want his dad to come up while shane is here god you know god forbid god forbid ilia's dad meaning shane i mean because that man isn't is a huge asshole but i i mean i can't believe i can't even imagine how rude he would be to shane you know so he's like you know would let him like i think that would have been i think if that i think if ilia's dad had lived long enough for those two to one i don't think those two ever meet voluntarily i think that they they are somehow i don't think ilya would ever want his dad near shame no ever i don't think so his dad starts saying some heinous shit to shane i think that is absolutely the moment where ilya because every other time you see ilya talking to his dad you he is so different from the personality that he portrays to everybody else it's always like his dad says you need a haircut he says yes sir he is yeah so carefully respectful to his dad i think if at any point they ever meet and he's an asshole to shane i think that is like the breaking point i think ilia like loses it yeah and i want to be i want to be really clear i don't mean it all that i think that ilia would be ashamed of shane in front of his dad i think the i agree with you i think the opposite where he would be like like you're not gonna speak to somebody i love like this yeah feeling very protective of shane and not wanting his dad to be mean to shane and i think it would cause a huge i think it would i don't think yeah i don't think shane would or i'm sorry i don't think ilia would ever want shane and his dad in the same room which again how tragic for ilia that he has this relationship and i and because then you later at the cottage when ilia says she would have loved you like I love you like that he has lost his parent that he could have introduced Shane to and that she would have been supportive and that he could have been his true self with I mean he talks about how much he wants his dad to know him he lost the parent that did know him and so I think it is is tragic for Ilya and I think too and you don't get as much of this in the show but in the book Like one of the things that Shane talks about is how badly he wants Ilya to be in the same room as his parents. And this is this is before the cottage. But Shane talks about how he would even just to have them all in the same room, to know they existed in the same space, for them to just interact. Like how much he just wants that so bad to have all the people that he loves together. together and so and again i think for it to be just such a stark opposite opposite for ilia that he does not want shane to be there when his dad comes up because again i think one he wouldn't want his dad to be rude to shane but then two that ilia has such a fractured relationship with his his own dad that he also wouldn't want shane to know at this point how bad his relationship is with his dad because he he does feel like that's you know a point of a point of weakness for him that he's kind of been rejected by his parents. I mean, he feels a lot of shame around that. So I think it's just I think it is just so tremendously heartbreaking. But we do see this moment where Ilya has been reminded that his dad is looking for him. He's also had this huge thing with the loss. He's already feeling really down. And then he also is just, again, aware of what the state of the world is in Russia, that this is an actual really dangerous situation for him. Also, this is, you know, the Olympics, there would have been a lot more police presence at the Olympics than there would be in regular times and so yes ilia is being cold but ilia is coming from a place of fear i really feel like he is he's afraid yeah for a multitude of reasons so um which is why then when after he says fine go sit down and shane starts to say we and ilia goes we are not anything and then my heart fractured into 50 different pieces i don't know what shane i don't know what the end of that sentence was gonna be i feel like he was gonna go ahead i heard like the knife slide into shane's abdomen like just like right between the ribs yep like oh right okay sure like ilia what the fuck well i think it was gonna kind of be something along the lines of like we don't need to i think shane was trying to reassure him that like we just like we can just talk like we don't need to yeah again like i'm not looking for anything from you i just want to talk i just want to see how you are i just want to make sure you're okay yeah and then ilia hits with the we is not don't you can't use the word we because like you're not we to speak of we are not anything and how fucking heartbreaking that is for shane after again they've had this and this is a huge change from the book like their setup of their first time being directly before this is not the same in the book but it is in the show and to go the whiplash the fucking whiplash to go from that to this. I mean, poor Shane. And so, I mean, I think that, yeah, he says we are not anything. And then he's like, you know, he's like, go away, Hollander. But this is the first time when you see Shane start to push back and he does not allow Ilya to push him away right away. And I think this is a little bit of what we're going to later see with Shane at the All-Star Game, you know, in episode five, when Shane is fully stepped into his confidence you're seeing a little bit of it here where he starts to kind of even after Ilya says go away he starts to walk a little bit closer Shane is getting braver um and he and I think in part because he's had this experience with Ilya he he feels like he knows Ilya better now and he feel and he he's seen the kind of person that Ilya is the very caring like he's experienced this caring loving I mean essentially version of Ilya even if they didn't say the words and so now he's like okay something is very wrong but something is very wrong because this is such a huge difference from how we last left things i know something is wrong this is also again they've had that experience on the rooftop so that's why you see shane step forward and he's like are you okay are you okay ilia again please go he's just not he's completely shut down shane did try and then he tries again he goes you didn't answer my text and then ilia finally does turn and look at him and he goes no i did not answer your boring text now will you go i mean i would like kudos to shane i would have given up if he if ilia had said i'm fine go sit down i would have been like on my way kudos to shane for like that is so heartbreaking because he knows that ilia i he knows on some level that ilia does not mean what he's saying or else he wouldn't keep trying he knows and i also think again i think because of where they left things with shane being like so we're not gonna see each other at the olympics but then when i mean i think shane feels like this is is his place yeah to push and and and in reality it is i like i mean they you know even though ilia is not willing to admit that right now i mean what he has with shane is special and And we're going to see a little bit of that based on the interaction that he has with Svetlana and Sasha. But this is not all in Shane's head. But right now, Ilya is so scared because he's back in Russia. He's very upset. His knee jerk reaction is to put those walls up. And he and especially when he's like out in public like this, surrounded by people who have seen his loss. He also again, there's there's a bigger police presence. His dad is looking for him. I think he is just trying to get Shane away as quickly as possible. And so this is how he does it. And I think it scares him, too, that Shane is not going. Because I think in the past, Shane would, to your point. But now, Shane doesn't think that. Shane feels more confident because he feels like they're in a different place now. And so Shane doesn't go away right away. and i think i think ilia panics and is just like no i didn't answer your boring text now will you go i also think ilia's behavior is that much more scary for shane to witness because of how they left it last time yes and i think if they had left on less of good terms maybe ilia's standoffish behavior would have been like okay well that's kind of yeah on par for the course and shane wouldn't try so hard but they were in a good place and for ilia to be so blatantly rude and dismissive of him shane's like something is very wrong very wrong very wrong which it scares him and he's like yeah i need to find out what this is yeah he would not be acting like this if something was seriously wrong no because i think he learned a little bit from last time and i think he does he has again he's experienced this different side of ilia so i think he does he has like whiplash i I think he's like, wait, what? Like, what do you mean? Yeah. Like, it's like it doesn't compute. It's because he's like, wait a minute. This is so drastically different from the last time we met. This, wait a minute. Like, something has to be wrong because this is so opposed to our last interaction. Something must be wrong. Tell me what's wrong because I know something is. either and i think the um you know the harder thing for him to try and think would be that the version of ilia that he knew last time is not the real one like i think ilia you know i mean shane really let his walls down to let ilia in i mean ilia pursued him for two years i mean they really i mean shane let him in and so i think it's there would be part of shane that would be like wait what the fuck like i know i said i put my walls down we met up like this you know i this you you went after me you pursued me and now you're now you're shunning me away like i mean this would be so incredibly heartbreaking like you if you were shitting you would be like like what the what the fuck um i mean and it is i think watching this i think too again if you don't have the context of everything that is on ilia's side and i'm not excusing ilia's behavior but i think you think it is important just to understand that ilia is reacting from a place of fear it's that he doesn't want to be mean to shane no he doesn't he doesn't want but he also knows that like shane's not going to go away unless he's like like and he can't explain it he can't he can't pull him aside and be like here's what's going on this is why this is why i am why i am this is and he's yeah this is why i am the way i am yeah i mean he can't explain it they're in public they're at the russian a little bit he can't pull them aside and explain it nor would ilia feel comfortable explaining it at this point i mean it takes years longer for ilia to actually explain he can't explain at this point all he knows right now is that he needs shane away and so that's why you have this this moment and then you know shane and it does it does work because I mean that is so hurtful that Shane finally does go he's like fine fuck and he does he does walk away pain and suffering pain and suffering so I mean I think that it's this is such a heartbreaking moment and I and it does lead into when they when they next see each other but even before that I mean you see Shane watching him and we'll get into that in a little bit but i mean this is heartbreaking for shame this is devastating and then he leaves and then the next scene we get is ilia with his dad and to your point where you like his dad says you need a haircut and ilia goes yes sir yes sir and i do think that these scenes were set side by side very intentionally because i think you do have this moment where you see ilia act this way with shane and you like dude what the fuck what the fuck and then you go into this scene with his dad and you like oh yeah fuck yeah because you know his dad says you need a haircut yes sir ilia just takes it like most of this conversation ilia is just taking this verbal abuse because um then his dad says the minister still wants to see you tonight despite everything and Ilya says you know it will be my honor and then his dad says he should be honored after yesterday and then he goes you lose too and then he kind of pauses at first I think you think that maybe he's just making Ilya say it but then later in the conversation you get that maybe that's not the case but Ilya is the one who says Latvia and then um his dad goes right Latvia and then he goes and yet he drinks which the drink that ilia is drinking is the one that his dad made for him and then handed to him and then now he's getting shit for drinking the drink that his dad made for him can't win he can't win and this is why i think later when svetlana says to him in the bathroom she says to him your dad would have given you a hard time for it either way like regardless win or lose your dad would have given you a hard time for it and i think you see that in a smaller scale here where it's like he literally made ilia the drink and handed it to him and then his dad is mad at him for drinking it but at the same time if ilia had told him no i also very much get the impression that his dad would be like what you're too good drink and you're not gonna drink it wasteful son terrible child yeah you can't win so um yeah and then his dad goes how could you let that happen how are you there's five other players on the ice at that how are you not ashamed and this is very reminiscent of that conversation we see ilia have with his dad earlier on when you know i think i can't remember the exact wording but you know the dad ilia says was that i think like the team is trying very hard and his dad is like no you i want to hear about you you will not lose and i so i mean i think it is just literally putting the entire weight of all the whole team on ilia's shoulders here ilia talks about um ilia talks about some of the struggles that the team faced leading up to that match one of them being their goalie was injured now the goalie's in and the team was having a hard time meshing with the substitutes, with the second string that got put in. And those are very real. Yeah. And it is very understandable that that team, going into the Olympics, having played the entire, having practiced with one goalie, because it's the Olympics, so these players are from totally different teams throughout the rest of the year. Yeah. They never play together until they're selected for the Olympic team in which they start practicing together. And then you get an injured goalie. And then you have to pull somebody else that a lot of them have probably never played with before. And so this whole, like, the team has trouble meshing together. Yeah. Like, they don't play with each other. Right. And Ilya's the captain. He's a baby. Him and Shane. Yeah. them being captains like I think that they need to be for the story's sake but having captains that young I mean it's very common to see captains on the team maybe not be the most like gifted out of the entire team but they're the ones who can pull the team together right yeah and I'm not saying Ilya didn't the team already does not have a lot of playing experience together the goalie gets injured and at least that is still an asshole about it he's like no you can bring them out of that like you should have been you're the one who makes them click and i'm like yes yeah i need you to shut up this is just such a huge amount of pressure and i think they talk about that a little bit um at the the minister's event like the one of the minister i think when they're having the conversation between the minister and Ilya's dad one of them says too much pressure or something like that but I mean I think it is a tremendous amount of pressure and again these Olympic athletes are in a lot of cases very young they're very young and this is a huge amount of pressure to put on Ilya even just from the standpoint of being the captain for the team Russia but then his dad to put all of this pressure on him to literally be the to be the whole team and I think that's why later when they do talk about Ilya in the pursuit of the cup that the captain did everything that he did everything and I think that you see like that was kind of Ilya showing his dad what you sure you want me to do everything I'll do everything and so I think that you do see here just again how much pressure Ilya's dad puts on him and then you know even when Ilya says well you know I am I am ashamed it's not enough his dad just keeps digging and he says you know it's not you're not nearly ashamed enough they teach you no discipline in the american league your play is sloppy and then he says your real shame is squandering the promise you showed when you were young as if he wasn't number one in the draft captain of the olympic team captain of the boston readers what the fuck like by by what standard and ilia even does push back here and say i am a better player now than i've ever been so i mean he does push back and you know this is where you see him sometimes do that where he's like oh my god you know he's like it becomes a certain point where ilya's like this is this is fucking enough this is fucked up and he says you know to your exact point he says our goalie is hurt the team didn't click and then you know his dad says you know what is this american nonsense what is clicking you are the captain you make them click and then he says he says you're always looking for someone else to blame since you were a boy and ilia is just and so you do again get the impression that ilia has withstood this sort of abuse since he was a child yeah i was gonna say that the way that he responds to this stuff is when he was a boy he probably did talk back initially like i think he probably had more fight in him and then over the years he's like this doesn't get me anywhere like it doesn't if i fight back he probably beats the shit out of me if i fight if i talk back he degrades me if i sit there and take it he degrades me but maybe it's over a little sooner and i can be left alone again yeah and i think his expression very much as he's having this conversation with his dad because he's just he does look like a kid being scolded i mean he he does he has this look on his face and it actually reminds me so much of the look he has on his face when he comes into shane's parents cabin behind shane in the in the cottage episode and he's standing behind shane with his like his hands like in front of him and he has this look on his face and that and you can tell that he is basically assuming the default his like default setting this is this is ken and his job is meet the parents this but this is how i act in front of parents this is because all ilia knows i mean apart from you know his mom who he's you know he's like my mom didn't suck like you know he the fact that ilia offers to go and and he does know just from the things that shane has said that shane's parents are not like his dad but but the fact that ilia offers to go with shane having experienced what he has experienced with his dad i mean he is probably very nervous to to to not know what he's going to get here because he has been just berated by one of his parents. And so he does come in very kind of quiet, very subdued, very like kind of, I mean, a little bit bracing for impact, I think a little bit because he's he has this kind of, I think, default state that he goes into a little bit to your point where he's like, if I just stand here and just take it, then maybe we'll end faster. And I think you see him do that a ton in the next scene when his dad and the minister are talking. And they're talking and Ilya is standing at like the center of the triangle. And Ilya like will just nod. He is. But what's funny is like, too, every once in a while he nods. And you can tell he's not even really paying attention to what the conversation is. He's just like, he's just nodding to make it. He's like, I'm not even really listening. I'm just nodding. to show you that, yeah, no, I'm listening for sure, but I am actually completely somewhere else. So, you know, he's standing there listening to his dad just berate him. And then his dad moves on to a new topic to berate him on. And he goes, who tied this for you? Looking at his bow tie. And he goes, your mother, she doesn't know how to do this properly. And that did make me think of when Illy is talking to Shane in the cottage and he's like, you know, he was so hard on her. You get the impression very much that this is even here that the way ilia's dad is with him he probably was with ilia's mom yeah but this is really where you start to see ilia show some more emotion and his eyes which have he's kind of just been a little bit staring off into space a little bit like he's looking at his dad but he's kind of been staring off into space a little bit but here his eyes start doing that thing where they like go back and forth like when you're thinking and he's kind of like searching his father's face as he says because i think he's very much watching for his reaction when he says mom is dead because i think this is ilia understanding again similar to the he asked me to bring home bread that his dad is not remembering things the way he was before and so this is what made me think that when he couldn't remember latvia earlier that this is enough this that was actually another sign of this and um you see that his dad as soon as ilia says it kind of knows that's not right like he kind of looks away and he's and he does realize that he said something that's not right but he's still kind of confused and then he catches himself and he says well i meant your stepmother and then ilia says and where is polina in moscow and here again the dad you can kind of tell by his expression ilia's dad doesn't really know but he kind of goes well of course you know yeah of course she's in moscow so this is us getting a glimpse of what was kind of already been introduced this another glimpse that ilia's dad has dementia and he's gonna later put a name to it when he talks to shan at the all-star game but this is going to be another thing that sits on ilia in terms of a responsibility and a reason why he feels like he is going to be stuck coming back to russia and in this situation for the foreseeable future because he knows his dad is sick yeah i mean it's it's because i think what's so sad is like you see ilia he's upset about it yeah i mean ilia ilia has every right to be a dick to his dad for how he treats him yeah but he isn't he he really never is and as soon as he shows signs of this illness ilia is i mean those are very i mean he i know he says it kind of bluntly like mother mom is dead like mama's dead but like those are gentle reminders yeah right yeah so like i mean he he has a tremendous amount of empathy yeah he really does and he has a tremendous amount of emotional intelligence but i mean i think that you see later um in in his monologue or when he's talking to shane before his monologue when he says you know alexi is scared and it makes him terrible and it makes me terrible too again the fact that he alexi just threw like pushed him up against a wall and you know calling him a slur just being a terrible awful person and the fact that Ilya can stand there then and be like well he's scared you know like and and that he does understand that um because Ilya himself is scared like what we just talked about with it with his interaction with Shane Ilya understands being scared and that it can make you lash out and so I mean he does transfer that empathy and that understanding to other people and even though they treat him far worse you know where it's physically emotionally mentally abusive i mean he still does feel for his family and you know even in the cottage episode when he talks about he hasn't talked to his brother and shane asked him if it's a good thing and elia says i i don't know maybe probably But, you know, I mean, it's he's still hoping that it's going to at some point it's going to be different. It's just it's not going to be. Yeah. Which is what's so sad. But no, I think you're completely right. I mean, they're very gentle reminders. They're very because even next, he says, you know, he's like, we should go. And then when his dad still seems confused, he's like to the gala. still confused and he goes so that i can meet the minister like he's really kind of trying to lead him back to the present lead him back to the present but also in a way that will allow his dad to keep his dignity you know like he's not at no point is he like how the fuck don't you remember this you know like at no point which i'm sure alexi is probably not nearly as gentle just gonna say yeah i was just gonna say when it has his crash out in the tunnel and is talking about how it kills him that Alexei was there to take care of his dad and not him I think I think if Ilya had been here been there through all of this I think that is how Ilya would have acted the entire time like very gentle reminders not frustrated when he can't remember things yeah understanding that that is just simply the way of the disease and trying to be supportive and I think he knows that Alexei is not I mean Alexei never speaks kindly about their father you know like it was like why is dad asking me these like weird questions well dad's dumb only stupid yeah yeah yeah he knows that Alexi yeah is not handling this well well yeah I mean I think you know you and I both have dealt with grandparents that have you know gone through memory and you know it's awful I mean it's is it is awful and I think it's just like you want that you're like you want them to remember you know it's because it's it is it is really hard and i mean and you know i mean it's it it is it's tremendously hard but i think it's like one of those things where it's like you have to really kind of put their you have to kind of like meet them in their reality you have to be the person for them yeah i mean it you have to meet them in their reality and and and put your own um your own feelings about aside and any and any hurt that you might feel you have to put that aside and kind of meet them where they are and and you know because it is it is it is really challenging it's scary as hard as it is to deal with it's so much scarier for them i think especially you know his dad because his dad you can see it on his face like his dad knows that it's not right yep yep but yeah it is um it's a really heartbreaking scene i think for ilia and i think you do see and i mean later in the all-star game i mean like he cries about i mean it is like it is as fucked up as his relationship is with his dad ilia feels so much empathy for him and he hates that this is what's happening and he does still i mean especially from ilia's perspective or one of the things he wants most is for his dad to know him and then to see his dad slipping even further away i think it's got to be so hard it's so hard for him yeah so yeah so we have this scene and then we go to the and then we go to the minister um the minister's the gala i guess the gala because ilya calls it a gala but but yeah i think i think we should but i think we should probably wrap here for part one and then we'll pick up with part two yeah of russia um where because i i want to spend enough time talking about Sasha and Svetlana yes Sasha and Svetlana and even that conversation that happens at the very beginning of the gala and then I also want to spend time talking about Ilya coming out of Russia and winning the cup and Shane sitting on the couch watching trying to smile it's tough his chin his little chin tremble yeah yep alright well listen y'all we're going to drop you off here for now, but we're going to pick you right back up in a few days. As we said at the beginning of the episode, we're going to do a double feature this week. We'll pick you back up on Friday. You'll listen to this on Monday. You'll pick you back up on Friday. Thursday night if you're Central Time. Thursday night if you're Central Time at 11. Thursday night at 11. But thank you, everyone, again, for bearing with us. It's completely my fault. I got sick. turns out i'm human human yeah that's tough god humbling terrible terrible realization to come to terrible realization when you realize that you are like you have a mortal coil like you're simply just like devastating yeah devastating devastating news yeah that's crazy devastating i get so frustrated too when i'm sick i'm so annoyed yeah you're like there's so much shit that i need to be doing right now that i cannot so many the other day on one of my videos they were like why are you they're like why are you like this i can't remember which video was and i was like i just want to like post my chart and be like triple virgo yeah yeah we should do that at some point i have a sun moon and rising i have a yeah i have a i have like a Pisces so I all but like two of my houses are Pisces so you know we are nothing of that consistent queens you know we stay we stay on brand so um but yeah listen we love y'all thank you again for your patience and we will talk to you again soon bye bye