Uncle Si’s Goofball Comment Made the Front Page of the New York Times

all right my question is is there anything newsworthy are we is that how you're starting this worth looking at or listening to did you not watch the state of the union oh no martin this is wrong pod you have one huh did he have one wrong yeah was it good the hockey team was there i don't know i watch golf i've become fascinated with the stadium golf it's that i like it they're playing oh i watched i watched him look uh trump's the only one that's transparent as a president he's on he's on he's on television you're right wait hold on hold on i'm i'm gonna you know he's gonna tell us about the aliens yeah oh he's got in the aliens oh he has said that yeah why did you stop the clock we can talk about aliens yeah don't stop the clock we didn't want to get stop the rock um now i am interested in in declassifying all alien i've got big news observations do are there aliens i don't think so you don't know they're unidentified obama said there were in an interview well if he said yeah no i definitely don't believe it but then trump said he wasn't supposed to say that very bad very bad deal not good uh not breaking protocol or something classified not to go all nicholas cage obama said it's a scam but i know that then trump backed it up kind of hey i just tell it it's true is there a presidential book of secrets oh yeah like from national treasury like is there uh but hey you asked me and i told you i don't believe in aliens okay but here that's that's fair i was just curious if you i know but Hey, aliens is the same way when I went to New York and they asked me about. Atheist. Atheist. No, aliens. I got in trouble and look, it hit the New York Times front page. Uncle Si says there ain't nothing such as a. Uncle Si doesn't believe in atheists. Wait, did that really happen? That's what it said. Yeah. But you thought it was aliens? Well, no, no. They said there was... You don't believe in either one of them. And I had upset the people that don't believe. Yeah, they're in the uproar. They were picketing in front of the building. I said, wait a minute. Hold on. I made a statement that there's no such thing as a person that doesn't believe. Thank God I came here today, man. And I said, let me explain it to you. I said, you got two people in Vietnam during the war. I said, one of them is a very religious man, and the other one is he's called himself an atheist. And I said, hey, guess what? They're in the foxhole, and here comes Charlie. And Charlie's fixing to kill everybody in the compound. Well, first thing the guy, the religious man is, he's on his knees in the foxhole saying, Lord, I need some divine help. Okay. Well, hey, the idiot that says he don't believe, he was asking for help too, but he don't even know who he's asking to help him. Okay. I see where we went there. Yeah. So I said, now, hey, what do you think? And they all got all upset. Hey, straight from Uncle Si's mouth, boys. Now you know. And that got on the New York Times. Yeah, that made it to the paper. page does anybody think it's a little ironic that the people who said they don't believe in anything got upset that size said he doesn't believe in them why did they get upset i thought there was i don't know that's a wild one didn't know we were going there the story about jesus is going to do two or three things you're going to get mad you're going to get glad or you're going to be hey thank you lord isn't that glad okay yeah i like how i like semi glad i like how size go to is he starts preaching whenever we were we were with the buck commander properties boys in mississippi and they came to do an interview with the news cameras and size started and i started preaching and as soon as they done this he stuck it in my face i started telling them about hey i know the man that hung the sun and the moon and the stars he said if you don't have a relationship with jesus you don't and i said si tell him about the rodeo he looked at me he said No, he's the author and perfecter of your faith. He just goes on. I mean, he won't get off of it. That's what I'm talking about. Don't ever put a mic in front of me because I'm going to tell you about the man. I just asked chat GPT if we had aliens. It's a short answer. Are we aliens? It's a short answer. We don't know yet. Look, yeah. So that means we're going to know. So Trump said, based on the tremendous interest shown, which has been for a while, man, like you just woke up today. Okay, so people are interested in aliens. Yeah, you ever been to the movies? Every other one's like an Independence Day knockoff. A lot of people are saying it's a great movie. It is a great movie. A lot of people. So he will be directing. Wait, wait, we got a movie about aliens again? Yeah, every 20 minutes. Oh. So he's going to direct the Secretary of War and other relevant departments and agencies to begin the process of identifying and releasing government files related to alien and extraterrestrial life, unidentified aerial phenomenon. We've already had all this, and they've been holding it and not telling us. And UFOs. And any... Unidentified flying objects. Don't fly around here. You will get shot down. That's right. And if I, you die. And all other information connected to these highly complex but extremely interesting and important matters. God bless America. There you go. So Trump's out to prove once and for all. Not to prove, but to just let you know. If we're covering it up. I told you he was the most transparent president we got. He's going to put it all out there for us to see, boys. I will not say that until we know if we landed on the moon. Yeah, that's a big one. Oh, hey, that's Area 51, so it's all. it's all you reckon there's any aliens in there right could they be could they have there could be aliens they have some held hostage what if independence day is a documentary what look welcome to earth as someone it is known as a storyteller you need aliens okay now aliens help your calls on a lot of this stuff spice of the story well hey hey the president said it it's a lot of interest in it i just find it weird that a guy who believes in large black cats doesn't believe in aliens well i will put it let me back up in one of those oh let me back up and regroup there's been plenty of people see i had told you okay what'd you tell me that uh what's the biggest telescope we got right now the hubble the hubble okay we've have we have now looked off into other galaxies and seen this gigantic planet, biggest one we've ever looked at. Is there another? Do you think there's another Earth? Well, no, no. Oh, wait a minute. Yes, I do that because I've got proof of that. With humans? They're going to be on there later. Later. There might not be any on it right now. Having a new Earth. There we go. Because I tell you once before, if we had a machine that we could travel, that would never run out of fuel and all this yeah not a tesla you wouldn't be able to see all of god's creation that's true yeah okay because i personally believe the good thing we got eternity that hey that's right we're gonna need it it just gonna give it a whirl it just keeps going they're gonna burn all this up okay yeah what's that now even global warming but i do believe in global if that's true then there could be aliens there could be aliens but are they aliens or are they just other not us you know like what what defines an alien but first since there's a lot of interest they need to give me a definition of alien oh i got you covered big boy are we oh they've already got that let's lay it on me we're kind of aliens or are they just on this planet or they just foreigners and aliens how are they just sitting back watching us saying man look at them idiots um alien definition from space oh we're going so we don't get flying we're going to space again boy we're not questioning any legal tactics here this is the actual extraterrestrial that we're talking about but if we want no i'm just kidding no we're not going on that route An alien, often referred to as an extraterrestrial, is a form of life, intelligence, or biological entity that originates and survives outside of Earth or its atmosphere. These space aliens are hypothesized to inhabit other planets or locations in the cosmos. The cosmos. Yeah, there are. There are. Oh. That's just. That was quick. No, no. No, no. Hey, because I just AI. AI? What does AI have to do with aliens? It's aliens. Artificial intelligence. Oh. Hey. Everybody's phone just buzzed at once, and I'm panicked. Except for size. Well, yeah, my phone didn't buzz because I ain't got one. Thank you. So you're in on aliens. Well, I'm just saying. How tall do you think they are? Oh, big. You think big aliens? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. i can't buy none of it you're going too small they're like eternity what no they're everywhere okay what that's ray stevens they're everywhere everywhere it has to be oh yes they call him the street fast thing on two feet and he's going out he's raking up he's got a free shot you went with ray stevens and i went with michelle branch which is the weirdest part of that whole thing oh He went with Ray Stevens? I went with Michelle Branch. Are you nervous, Hunter? No, you can't go wrong with... Hunter, why are you nervous, our local liberal? I'm just kidding. He's an independent. Hunter, I would love to know your thoughts on aliens. I think we're about to go to war. Over aliens? With aliens? It's a distraction. What did Hunter say? Hunter thinks we're being part of the problem because he thinks every time something bad happens, the government does something weird like say maybe there's aliens and then we're all talking about aliens and we don't see what's actually happening hunter would have made the best hippie of anyone in this room right now yeah for somebody that doesn't dabble in recreational narcotics you sure seem like it you see you sure want to stick it to the man this message is sponsored by raycon y'all yeah right here look boom bye yeah he's got the blue one and i gotta be honest look i just wore mine all the way up to minnesota and back and thank goodness i had them when i had was on a plane full of uh youth kids hockey teams no the raycon earbuds man they work great their everyday earbuds classic are packed with upgrades they got active noise cancellation multi-point connectivity so you can pair with two devices at once and a super comfortable design i wore them on every flight warming the airport listening to podcasts and 32 hours of battery life you can get blush violet cool mint rose gold or electric blue here's the kicker raycon delivers the same premium audio quality as the big brands but at half the price and with over 3 million happy customers and a 30 day happiness guarantee there is zero reason to overpay when i was in the airport the cool part is they got a quick charge function 10 minutes to charge and gave me 90 minutes of battery which you know is enough for most flights and awareness mode lets you hear what's happening around you while still enjoying premium sound look we love them but the everyday earbuds classic are perfect for refreshing your routine this spring go to buyraycon.com slash duck to get 20 off that's buyraycon.com slash duck thank you raycon for sponsoring this episode i just want to know hunter do you think there are aliens yeah i do okay hunter speak up You should be excited. What is your finding? I do think that there are aliens because if we're here, it only makes sense that it happens somewhere else as well. Well, hey, I think there are two. The crowd just agreed with Hunter a lot. Fair enough. No, I think there are two because, hey, here's the thing. I think it would be foolish to think we're the only planet Earth. Some of our super conservative friends right now are going to read your comments. I'm just letting you know. Yeah, because I ain't buying any of it. The same God that created this one can create anything. He's all powerful, all known. You're right about that. If I say that he built this earth and no other one, I'm now limiting him. Well, he could have done that. Okay, but I was bringing up the Black Panther. Hey, I'm bringing in the Black Panther as proof that there's aliens. What? Yeah. Everybody says I can't see it, so I don't believe it. Yeah. Well, then, hey, I got news for you people. Gravity. You need to talk to our medical people because there's all kind of junk in your body that you don't see. Well, I don't want to see my intestines. Yeah, I believe in my intestines. And the second I see them, that means I'm tired. What about all the unseeable things that exist on this earth? Like what? Love. Joy. DNA. You can see DNA if you get a really good microscope. Yeah, with a big microscope. you can't see it with the naked eye unless you got help that when the alien comes in he on Johnny D ain he you see where I going here No I don but I love it Yeah you do Yeah you do Hey, look, I can't see it, but I believe it. There you go, partner. How about that? I can't see where you're going, but I believe it. No, no. That's what I'm saying. See? There's so many things that you don't see them. There's stuff out there that you don't see that can kill you. Oh, yeah. Okay? I'm on the heavily Christian website, Reddit. That's why I'm saying the first thing we've got to do is, hey, we've got to come up with a solid foundation of what an alien is. Because I don't want none of this guessing crap. But we don't know what it is, so we've got to guess. No, it's a hypothesis. Independence Day nailed it. Because it's the best alien movie. Hunter, I told you, I don't believe that you exist. I'm sitting right here and you just hit me. Well, I don't believe. I'm about to wrestle you. Oh, yeah, you're getting knocked out. This old boy ain't got time to fool you, son. That's a one punch. I got to knock you out with one punch. Just like that. You can't run from me because you got to run me and catch you. Kids at home say no to drugs, man. How did we get on this alien trip? I don't know. You called Trump the most transparent president ever. He is. Some people listening said, yeah, brother, and some people fell out of their chair laughing. Some people said, how can you be that orange and be transparent? I got elected. Maybe translucent, but transparent. I'm rewinding in my head. Si doesn't believe in atheists or aliens. That's where we were. No, no, he doesn't believe in atheists, but he just recently converted over to aliens. I'm going to tell you, when you get in a private Alienism. Alienism. You're going to talk to somebody for help. So you get off of that, you don't believe. Yeah. Okay, because when your butt gets in a sling and you fix it to die, oh, yeah. And what happened when you got back to the office? Willie called you in. What really happened? Now, this is when the New York Times paper said. I didn't know where we were going. Well, this is what Si was talking about. Hello. Hey, I'll tell you what happened. The paper said Uncle Si doesn't believe in atheists. And then Willie. Willie. I found it. Which is like a great Babylon Bee headline. No. Willie was giving me the chewing out. Yeah. That's where we were before we went out. That's what it was. And then I just said, hold it. What's up? I said, every time me and my brother, Phil, go to New York City. Trouble is afoot. We get in trouble. Well, guess what? Guess who's sending us to New York City, dummy? yeah i said was that really y'all's ploy just to not have to go back well i just told him i said hey every time we go we get in trouble to leave us yet you're always coming up and said hey i'm telling it we got a trip to new york coming up we gotta we gotta pause the alien talk so we can say the greatest phil robertson new york city story i want to see it what drag it to the screen i don't it's not fair you get to look at it oh that's a real article apparently 2015 evangelical reality tv star cy robertson reveals there's no such thing as an atheist well that's when you know you're there yeah hey i made the front page of new york city new york times huffington post in the uk even reported on that one oh i can't find the new york now i know why that willie sent us to jimmy jimmy sifu check in on this we need to know where you're standing yeah jimmy sifu let us know where you're standing on this bad language say hey look you know why we went to new york city willie wanted me to tell him about jesus there you go and you did your part okay and i did it you know and uh there you go you know my favorite way ever because more people heard about it hey i gotta let them know but you know what you remember what phil did which time in new york what i hate well the first line of defense is the dogs yeah and if any of you are coming to rape our village rape our women pillage our property do you think it'd be a safe question talking to phil about something his dogs and he went with oh yeah they're the first line of it It was like on the Today Show. Oh, no, that was on Fox and Friends. Yeah, because they asked me the question. They had run into a lot of trouble saying, hey, don't bring up their script. Well, hey, that's a stupid thing. If you tell me right before I go out there, somebody's going to say something. You just brought it up again, man. Don't do it. Because I told them, I said, hey, I'm the director's worst nightmare. He hands me the script. No, he didn't. he didn't say it ladies and gentlemen script is a very loose word it was not it was like hey you need to stand over there that's what it said you know what trump needs to do now tell us about it yes what let's take over that clock take a vote from the country oh what that you that's not just hey develop democracy let's hold an election i mean is there aliens or aren't there Well, that doesn't mean anything. You got to have an ID. Oh, if we find them that, oh, yeah, they got to have a social security number and all this. You're going to get the aliens. They sign up for welfare. They'll be on welfare and all this stuff. That's right. They'll be blue or red. Getting the little Debbie's on the food stand. Hey. Yes. Why can't you run that, Hunter? Who cares, Hunter? We're getting fired at this point anyway. Wait a minute, Hunter. What do you mean we can't run this? Yeah. We're trying to inform the people, son. He said we're going to. Our Constitution starts. We the people. And the aliens on food stamps. Hey, and look. Hey, there you go. It's all we're after. Wait a minute, though. Are we going to include them in we the people? Oh. No, that's we the aliens. That's actually where we need to go now. Our aliens. Or is that going too far? Do you think aliens are like really old, like sea turtles? Hmm. Now we're all sea turtles. I don't care about them either. I just want to play. When Doug Dinesky went to Hawaii, did you know that I was on a surfboard? And guess what come up beside me? No, sea turtle. A giant sea turtle. Twiky ball. A giant sea turtle come up and, hey, he played with me while I was trying to learn how to. You should have rode it like Moana. Hey, their hide is so weird feeling. I'm pretty sure you can get arrested for touching a sea turtle. Nah. Okay. See? He's on the side. The lady that was my instructor? No. One of the guys at the pool. Lifeguard? Lifeguard. She was my lifeguard. She said, hey, I've spent my life in this ocean. Were you in the pool? She said, that's the first time I ever seen one of these giant sea turtles come up and let a human being pet him. Because I was sitting on my surfboard and I looked and I see something. Imagine how that turtle took the story. Something was moving under me, coming toward me. The turtle went and told all his friends. Oh, guess who I met. He said, hey, he just popped up right beside it. Look, I'm petting this silly thing. Now that sea turtle is the Uncle Cy of the sea turtle. Oh, yeah. Technology? He's telling this story. wildlife yes here's the thing only one of us could surf the turtle the turtle oh the turtle no no i'm talking about us us duck dynasty crew could surf yeah it actually could ride a surfboard jace jace no sadie oh yeah sadie was the only one that surfed that yeah that was totally believe well he busted his butt i busted my butt everybody's got the wrong body all the rest of didn't even try it yeah if your legs are that skinny and your upper and i'm not trying to make fun of the man we oh well hey i'm formed in the same way i got chicken legs and it's just been all the time you look like somebody holding a frog just up in there there you go definitely not too little in the gut tiny legs and pretty nice calves if we got to be honest yeah very nice very hairless legs too we've got covered it all boys aliens and then the chicken legs we've covered the whole thing today making me hungry that's the end of the show the end of the duck call room aliens aliens to chicken legs look y'all know that we believe the story of easter is the most beautiful story ever told but sometimes because you know it so well you can forget what it actually costs and it does lose a little of its powerful nature sometimes but tim tebow's fixed that he is telling the story from the perspective of the cross. If the tree could speak, Tim Tebow. Yeah, there you go. Story of the cross that saw it all. It's an awesome book. Si especially loves the pictures. Don't you, Si? Big picture guy. I've been looking through it. My favorite page is 108, Martin. Why? What's that? He is risen. He is risen. He is alive. Because if it's stopped on the cross, it don't mean much. But it is cool to hear the crucifixion story from the perspective of the cross itself. Look, it's one of those books that makes you stop and think and really picture what that day was like. Illustrations are beautiful. Every page leads you to really feel the way to the crucifixion. Even if you know the story, this book gives you a fresh way to see it. You'll reflect, think, and deepen your faith. And reading gets you to step inside the story, hear the witnesses, and ultimately experience Easter like never before. You'll see the crucifixion differently than ever before. If the Tree Could Speak by Tim Tebow is available now on Amazon. Order your copy today. do you think aliens would like fried chicken legs from popeyes absolutely i mean they didn't i wouldn't trust them and i'm already kind of leery of them why they got that face like that aliens are chicken legs aliens how come every one of them's got that i think our back and cheese our depiction of them i can see why are they toddlers because him and carter are the same person he's a giant 14 year old boy do you like mac and cheese oh what are you talking about i've i found a mac and cheese restaurant me and i got to take my son to soon it's a whole restaurant with mac and cheese that's all it is that's it oh it's six hours away but we're gonna have to do it six hours hours somewhere in texas yeah waco but below that okay huh yeah it's mac and mac amos would like Buc-ee's? Again. Depend on which way they vote, honestly. No. No. Hey, speaking of Buc-ee's, real fast, there's a new video out trending over some uppity person saying that, ugh, this place is gross. Buc-ee's? Gross? What kind of? Where do you stop? Yeah. Who was it? Gross. What is your? Is this one of those Casey's people? No. I don't know. I don't. Because Buc-ee's is not gross. It really hurt my feelings. Very clean. It's a TikTok person, which explains a lot. There you go. There it is. It's a TikTok. I can't find it. Yeah, they probably like Stucky's. Hey, Cy, did you know that you went viral on the Internet again? Oh, no, no. What have I done now? I just found out. It's what you haven't done. You weren't in the Epstein files. Wait a minute. I wasn't in whose file? Mr. Epstein. You never went to that island. They were never mentioned. You never emailed and had correspondence. Way to go. It's a good thing he's dead. I'll sue the piss out of him. Or what? He didn't do nothing. He didn't put me in his file. No, you weren't. You weren't in his file. I wasn't. No, you weren't. And that's why you went viral. If he was alive, I'd sue the sucker. Well, I thought you were going to say Cy died again on social media. No, because they had me. Because I can't take it no more. Why are they always trying to kill me off? I don't know, but you weren't in the Epstein file, so you went. My cousin texted me last week. Well, then they dropped him now. They did. They dropped him. Okay, they dropped him. And you weren't in him. I wasn't in him. They dropped him. Yeah, and somebody made a video that said, you know who's not in the Epstein files, and it was you. It was you holding the tea glass, and then it cut to you on the hover-round going down like, no, it's this one. Downing pies, just with a traffic all behind you. Speaking about that. See? Isn't that cool? The hover-round. Uh-oh. That was the funniest thing here in Monroe when they first installed them. The hover- You're talking about a roundabout? Roundabout. Well, y'all said something about hover. I said hover round because remember when you had those. Y'all planted that in my mind, hover. No. A roundabout. A roundabout. One of Si's claims to fame is he's never been beat at a roundabout. He's undefeated. That's right. And he's got the scratched up truck to prove it. Now, look, we can't play the sound, but this was on the Internet. It said, you want to know who's not in the files? And it's you in a gas can. You with traffic behind you on a hub around. See? And America loves you. America loves you. Hey, America waits on me. What does that mean? To see if I ride around or what I ride next. That's why y'all got to get me a giraffe. Hey, where's your little giraffe at? It's gone? He's up there. No, if that giraffe ever disappears, I'm going to start banging on office doors. I think I'm going to actually book a trip to Africa, please. So I can ride the top of a giraffe. I don't think that's like one of the options. Let's have a giraffe come here. What do you mean that's one of the options? That has 5 million views, by the way. What does? A giraffe? No you on the hover around Oh But you on a giraffe would probably get 5 million views too Si you be better off buying the giraffe and shipping it here Your own giraffe You can ride it any way you want. Why would I do that? Then you wouldn't have to travel to Africa. No, I want to go to Africa anyway. You know there's a problem with Si's the voice of reason. I tell you, you had a bad idea, Phil. It must have been bad. I'm trying to get a trip to Africa. Well, you just had a trip to a rodeo in Mississippi. He'll come back next year if you guys have a giraffe. He can ride with a saddle. With a saddle. But not where you would expect. He wants to be on the neck. I got to be up there where I can hold the horns. I want to be up above of everything where I can see everything. Are you positive, giraffe? Are you even real? Yeah. What if he trips and falls? What if giraffes are actually just surveillance drones, and that's why they made their necks so long? maybe they're aliens what about that we lost a martin on that one birds aren't real giraffes aren't real i'm gonna start i'm gonna take up drinking again again also you can't own a giraffe here in uh oh is that right wait a minute unless you're a zoo oh this is america by god no this is america you can own a giraffe there's people that own tigers yeah and he's in jail now no no that used to be a trio or a duo and he got eaten well well hey we're not sure what carol did with a big tiger carol basket i never told you what me and hunter almost bought you for christmas me yeah oh okay i'm really disappointed by the way what what is it is it the thought that counts yeah absolutely what What were y'all going to buy? Hunter, do you remember what we were going to buy him? He was unfortunately booked out. A cameo? No, a phone call. From Joe Exotic? From Joe Exotic. No. But it's hard to book him because he's only getting like 20 minutes of phone calls a week. Yeah, and you got to have a prepaid card. Yeah, and you have to donate money to free Joe Exotic, which felt a little... I'm not sure I wanted to donate money to that, but I would give him money for a phone call. I'd pay him for his time, but I don't know if I want to be tied to a foundation that's free him. Yeah. Yeah. so we were going to do it but he was booked out for like a month you're gonna get it for me yeah and we were just gonna call him in here yes that's tight yeah it's a thought that counts i was texting what would he say something about carol baskin but maybe we need to book that phone call now and see if he can get us a draft maybe we should probably ask joe exotic about aliens i don't know i think we should put a whole poll up to our crowd our audience but folks in the comments aliens where do you stand Yeah, I see it being low. Low what? Yeah, no, I ain't buying none of it. Do you realize these people that listen to this podcast, and I say this with the utmost sincerity because I am one of you, listen to Uncle Si for three to four hours a week. I listen to him for 15 years straight every week. So they're in on the aliens. They're in on the aliens? We're going to find out. I'll see you. It's an extra subject. I do want to know. Make this an Instagram reel. I wonder what else. Yes or no? we should start what else should he declassify the moon the moon is number one the moon needs to happen president and landing the second most important one is and is there a book of secrets like was nicholas cage onto something no there's no book that was a movie oh yeah but independence day that's real that might be gonna happen okay now see i'm on animals right now because i'm thinking about what is the most unique pet that you would like to have a human oh you've got one you're married i'm kidding whoa so i was gonna get slapped by britney back that up hunter all right hey hey something i know britney would slap me i love that woman i ain't telling her to sit or stay hey i'm the one that said hey you need to marry this girl i know you told martin you saying what I would get something. I want something low maintenance. No, no. So that's. Don't get a python. Well, what about one of those schnauzer dogs like Jace got? No, them things are annoying. No. Yeah. They're yippies. That's not a yippies. Because that's all they do. So be one of the manliest men on earth. And I'll give Jace that. Yeah, his dog collection. But I mean. His dog collection is. The only thing greater than his dog collection is. What? what only thing greater than a dog is what the only thing greater than his dog collection is and then he couldn't get it out his kids is his dog graveyard oh the grave no that's rude you want to end up on a short list and go live with jace if you're a canine um okay why jace is so joyful to be around oh he is but he just let you out and you're pretty well on your own i've almost taking out a couple of them little ones with a golf cart that's what i'm talking about they're they're very much in the street yeah it is a busy time of year especially for johnny d i was just at the honey hole trust me i know did you see me eat lunch nope nope because i didn't have any factory meals on hand because i didn't have more than two minutes and that's all factor would have taken you can eat healthy you prep all your meals you don't have to get your kitchen dirty it's easy two minutes or less and you got something fresh cooked chef prepared ready to go look some weeks get busy and eating right 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always enjoyed look you want to learn more head to factor meals.com slash duck 50 off and use code duck 50 off to get 50 off and free breakfast for a year eat like a pro this month with factor that's factor meals.com slash duck 50 off code duck 50 off new subscribers only varies by playing one free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active so would you like to hear a story from not so long ago aka this morning this morning this morning i road raged for the first time in my whole life really what happened i'm just driving down the road it's four lanes i'm probably going five under yeah you're not a speeder why would we be in a hurry and out of the corner of my eye i feel a presence of a honda civic inching closer and closer and closer and then i look over and i'm like i could touch it and then it gets about four inches from me and i lay on the horn and swerve over and we're going the same direction yeah and i was like i guess they were just coming over didn't see me and i got mad and i'm normally not an angry person so then i punched it because i wanted to catch up with them and just have them look at who they give them a proper talking to i wasn't going to talk to them but i little whippersnapper i do have a presence about me that might scare them and just like thinking glad i didn't run into that guy unless they know you yeah if they know who i am then oh he's yeah he's a friendly and so then after i punched the gas i calmed down for just a second i was like what am i doing this is stupid and that's when i saw a person i'm not even gonna give you anything else other than a human looking straight at their phone and down still after they almost ran me off the road and into me then i saw them on their phone and i was like they don't even know they just did that so then i got mad again and so then i honked again and rolled the window down like i was gonna do something and i i had planned out my mind what i was gonna yell and then i realized how stupid i probably looked to the people behind me and so then i just rolled the window back up and then i got to experience the wonderful pleasure of driving for three miles right behind this person which is why you should never road rage you got behind well yeah where else was i gonna go oh did it change from four to two lane no but i wanted to think i was following them and we just happened to go the same direction for a very long time whatever i get around a poor driver i get away immediate i do too oh no i was like well where was i gonna go i was headed to work gone i got there's only one bridge in this town i'd have turned off i was following him can i tell you a quick story because the exact same thing happened to me the day i passed you oh did you give somebody the finger i sped up to catch up to the rascal and rolled down my window and they refused to eye me this person like you no offense i i you were about to start a fight i'm so proud of you hunter because they turned into me without a blinker once and then the next time they they turn on the blinker while i was halfway like past them and scared me so not once but twice well the point i wanted to make on this i've never experienced road rage like that size of rager there is so many wrecks caused by people looking at this stupid thing while driving you don't have to call my phone stupid but yeah nothing nothing is that important no do not google if it's that important pull off to the side of the road and then call and talk to who you want to talk to yep plus if you're doing that while you're driving you don't do it while driving and don't let anybody drive you around looking at their phone do what side did to the guy who was driving us around looking at his phone he said hey pull this thing over either hand your phone to philip did you really pull over yeah hold on he got all over him and it scared me he thought he thought i was joking he thought i was joking stewart and i said hey you idiot what did i just tell you no but it scared me pull your butt over i ain't usually like that and i was like i was scared i was like hey man hand me your phone or let me drive oh i was ready to smack him i said hey you're not gonna drive uh-uh and be texting somebody on that phone while i'm in the car with you but johnny d now let me tell you something i've been working on Now, this is just this week. Instant forgiveness. Okay? Man, this is difficult. I'm getting cut off in traffic. Everything that happens, whatever, I'm instantly trying to forgive. And it is the most difficult thing I've ever done. You almost said it's the worst. It is. It's the worst. No, no. Hey, here's the deal. It's hard. You don't ever know what kind of guy or gal will respond to you. To be fair, I had confirmed I was winning this fight. Oh, yeah. You already sized them up. I sized them up. Well, they were bigger than me, but I was winning the fight. Well, it's a dangerous practice. Yeah, be careful because people now are so stupid, they just pull a gun out. Well, no, no, because it's too dangerous. That's why I backed off. But then we just had to awkwardly go the same direction. Then I'm going to follow you. I wasn't planning on hauling them. They were going. And then I was like, God, if we pull into this fight. If we pull in the honey hole together, this is going to get weird. The best thing to do is call the cops and say, hey, look, person just went by me. You're going to call the cops on somebody, Karen? Yeah, I'm going to call the cops on them. Si ain't even got a phone. What are you talking about? They're driving dangerously. You're going to pull over with a quarter and a nickel and put it in a pay phone? No, I ain't got any pay phones anymore. Si, I remember that guy that me and you were going to that event and we drove past him. Oh, no. We're going, what, 80? Yeah. Maybe. We're driving down the interstate. That's speeding. okay well we're in the left lane we're in the left lane lawbreaker we're in the fast lane passing lane the fast lane is for people going okay look but hey here's the thing we go by this guy okay and then get over philip gets over he's driving gets over and then all of a sudden it's just he must have been on his phone or asleep he was asleep i think he was asleep because i said it i said i believe you woke him up and secured it he come by us doing a hundo he come he come by running about 120. Oh, yeah. He was moving. And we never saw the guy again. 120 miles an hour? Oh, no. He was rolling. I don't even like planes to go that fast. Yeah. But people, you know, just, you know, when you really think it, use a little common sense. You're texting on a stupid phone. Well, you can't hit the numbers you go on because there's too little. So you got to be. also if your size age this goes double for you you know where are you where's the steering wheel you got a phone and you're doing this with it you ain't got a hand on the steering wheel you idiot what age do you start using the ringer on your phone again you heard him a lot this morning i did at the honey hole it's wild man did you call oh that would actually be my favorite if somebody answered while he's now you're about to take a picture oh okay that's what I tell you about that thing goes berserk when's the last time your phone's been on a ring on ring? ever? it rings in my car like it'll interrupt the music and do the ring and my ringtone Top Gun which is really cool but I don want that going off in the grocery store what I like is hey you got it stuck in your back pocket and you butt call somebody Uh How do you know so much about phones Well, hey, I ride with people that are always food with them. I've got a phone. Hunter, do you have, is your phone ever not on silent? Every night. You turn it on? Mm-hmm. So it wakes you up? Yeah. That's the goal? Yeah. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What time is your general bedtime? Like 2 a.m. Yeah, never mind. I'm not going to call you. I'll call you at 5 a.m. Way more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So your phone's just on ring through the night? Yeah. What if someone calls you? That's the point. You want to wake up? What if someone needs me? Oh, boy. McMillan's calling me right now. I'm just checking him. I'm just checking him. Like, I don't know, drunk friend, grandmother. Okay. You know. I called Hunter one time. I'm like, I need you. All right. So Hunter's who you'd call if you're in a bind late at night. Yeah. You know who you don't call if you're on a bind late at night? This guy. Or me. Yeah. I ain't answering. I wouldn't wake up anyway. I used to have my phone on ring when I worked for Willie because it was his thing. Like, if I call, you answer. Yeah. And I did. And then the day I was done with that idea, my phone has been on silent ever since. By the way, it's hard to get in touch with you now because you don't have your home phone. You're still displaced from your house. My wife gave out her mobile phone. somebody did ask me about you the other day they said there hadn't been a lot of activity in the red white and blue roof home i said he's fine oh yeah there had been from you yeah i know not a lot of cars somebody's been in there tearing up everything well they were checking on you the locals were the inside of my house has been gutted oh yeah yeah they had to get rid of some The floors tore up down to the studs. Yeah. Straight down. At one point, they thought they were going to lose the whole house. I've got to put a new air-conditioned unit and heater unit in there. You just want my house? Because that was covered with black mold. Black mold. Is there any other color mold? That's that thick on it. Green. Blue. That hot chocolate was green. And gray. Oh, that's disgusting. The one side I left in here for a month. And then put it in my nose. It's been good for you to drink it. It's not penicillin, man. It is. That's all penicillin is, Mo. All right, Goblin, when did you first start thinking it was about time to get serious about your health? Well, you know, I'm recently retired. Uh-huh. So, of course, I'm not being that still. But, I mean, the recliner sure is inviting. But I just didn't want to sit there. The main reason is them grandbabies. I mean, look, I'm 63. In 10 years, I'm going to be 73 when they're 10 years old. And I want to be able to keep up with them, teach them how to hunt and fish. Eating real food? Not starving either, are you? It's got recipes. You can cook just regular food. It's pretty good. And some foods that you don't even know causes inflammation. My knees are feeling better. And I can tell when I wake up, I got more energy. 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Call 864-644-1900 and say that's 864-644-1900 or visit myphdweightloss.com. side lives right around the corner for you now from you so now are you stopping by seeing him checking on him nobody's told me where he lives somebody gonna drop a pin on his head i don't know i thought you had his gun smoke tag you live on well i got an air tag on me bill knows where i'm at at all time if i'm in the truck beep beep you live that close to me Oh, yeah. You can run to him. Right around the corner. Right before I turn. To your road. Stone's house. My house. My house is before Stone's. Yeah. Oh, I'm bringing you a pizza one day soon. Oh, you'll see his truck. Matter of fact. Oh, yeah. We got to have four ball pizza night. We're about to have a pizza night at Sides. Yeah. I've stopped by several times. It's on my way home. Yeah. Which one is it? Hold on. Beep, beep, beep. Don't want those where I'm at. Oh. yeah hunter he has a red white and blue roof it doesn't matter the guy doesn't hey look all you gotta do is google it the door ain't ever locked how long have you been there all about two weeks okay so he moved again yeah i moved again oh i was like man because she didn't do she didn't put enough time on it on the first one okay it kicks us out i was just right by you send carter yeah Then Carter with a basket of cookies. He'll eat them all before he gets there. Matter of fact, hey, look. The door. Hey, we're at Ben Christie. Watch out of this. Somebody's not going to do it. Yeah, come in. Valentine's Day. Him and his wife brought us a bouquet of flowers for Valentine's. You brought your best friend flowers for Valentine's? Thank you. Sweet. And they live right around the corner, so they're close. There we go. I just got... I'm going to be honest with you, Si. Hope your house never gets fixed. Yeah. You got a new neighbor. I mean, that's. I want him to move closer to us. I mean, right where he is. That ain't going to happen. I know. Hey, by the 20th of March, I'll be in my house again. Allegedly. That's what the contractors have told me. I got the over. Yeah. I just found that. Let's rediscuss the 20th of April. I'm a honk every night. Just do. They ain't going to hear you. Oh, they told me because he come in and got a check today. Uh-oh. It takes about 15 days. He got the check, and he said, oh, we'll have it ready in a couple weeks. Yeah. Oh, you paid too soon, man. He's got half of the money. Oh, there you go. That's crazy. So, I see your house every day. Oh, I'm so happy right now. Yeah. That's awesome. I would have told Jason and Al, they said, good grief, you're in our neighborhood. They ain't stopping, so you don't have it. Huh? Have they stopped and seen you? No. Hey, we ain't been going to visit. You ain't ever been that close to them. They won't even stop by and say hello. Oh, no, hey, we're not big on visiting. Well, I mean, you're still probably six hours from Al because he's probably in Gulf Shores. Oh, yeah. It's wintertime. I saw Al walking the other day. He snowboarding. Did you? You could walk there. Me and Si live 0.2 miles from each other. Whoa, whoa. That'd be four miles. The pizza would be the right temperature. Two miles up, two miles back. 0.2. Four miles. 0.2. point point two point two point two quarter mile i can get to your house stone stroke 1500 yards by foot i could get to your house a three wood and a picture you i'm gonna say in 70 are you on would you have to swim across the pond against me no i'm not there with the me you and the normies are out there outside the gate man yeah which the gate i can't say that but it's gone yeah willie tried to get me to gated community well willie gated community is no longer gated it's can we go home uh not without a bible verse so you got one five minutes really i'm sure i'm trying to take my kids fishing man i'm where y'all going sorry the pond by the house oh you ain't going to willie's pond no oh you ought to go to willie's pond for what hey i got fish right there i got fish right there by the house man they ain't as good as willies oh i ain't trying to catch him big old brim i ain't trying to catch a big inside we got mickey mouse poles brand new from the honey hole because they put them at eye level i saw pictures of that on martin and his kids came by the shop and uh one bought a 14.99 frog which i i felt bad about yeah me too um and then they both got a new pole and then we played in the goldfish tank for a while yeah we were standing at the cash register i was trying to pay for their fishing baits which jackson's the one that bought the frog because that's what we needed in february um and wayland decided he wanted a package of freeloaders because i don't have 75 of those he's brand man uh yeah he stayed on brand thank you crush city um but then he's standing there while we're trying to pay and he just looks over he goes daddy i said what he said i see something and i looked over and i knew what he had seen bright colored fishing rods i don't know how he saw them either yeah they're out there at toddler height and i told him to walk that way yeah daddy i see something so here we go he grabs one that says hot wheels on it because he thinks it's his race car yeah and jackson goes over and sees mickey and he's like mickey and i was like okay so we have a mickey rod and a hot wheels rod that's the best um and so i took them fishing have you caught one on one yet no i you know i've caught a fish on a frozen pole i ain't put a hook on them yet i threw i put their little the plastic fish that come on there there we go there it is right there so i thought we were still a team fishing like everybody goes fishing we catch one we catch one right like i wasn't counting it as mine that's a good one well we got done and waylon said but i didn't catch a fish and i was like well you you don't have a hook so yeah you're not going to catch a fish and so he said the old thing it's the guy that uh fast fast pro pool when i was fishing yeah no hook yeah it cuts the hook off so today we're gonna go and i'm gonna leave my fishing pole at home and i'm gonna dodge two flying numbers size number two aberdeen hooks flying around there which i'm going to take a pair of pliers and bend the barb down on before we get started so uh fish may get off but who cares right you gotta catch one though if you don't catch one they're gonna oh we'll catch one yeah catch we catch one i'm messing barb we catch we catch i can't wait to see it now i don't know who's gonna catch it probably wayland gives us plenty of soak time is what i gathered the other day wayland wayland gonna be a worm dragger and jackson gonna be like me like a chatterbait guy because he reeling he just real he's skiing that little yellow fish back in wayland's just out there like man just slow i was like this be about right a five pounder come over there and eat that thing ain't got a hook in and they got you know but today we're using live bait baby hey we use it we use it minters today from the honey hoe i went and bought corks a lot shots little little live bait hooks i ain't bought that stuff and i don't know how long you should have bought some crickets they don't like them crickets i don't you saw it the other day they were like no your children yeah i threw one at them they did not yeah their their deal with bugs is just squish them so at least the shiners they'll pick up like touch them and hold them so that's the yeah the i should have got them a goldfish i should have thrown one in there just for funsies awesome what if there's a giant catfish lurking in that neighborhood oh i'm sure there is we should get him yeah that'd be cool we'll live scope him on a five pound on that little bitty now yeah the fish i caught was not much bigger than a goldfish on the frozen i'm hoping these are a bunch of little like half pound bass that's what i'm going for here so i'm hoping so too we'll see there are some biggins in there because i've put them in there but i do have one update what uh from the emails update i don't remember who said south carolina has terrible pizza but you've been refuted sir by all your fellow south carolinians uh-oh and there's a place called joe's new york pizza with a buffet oh you might want to try that out a pizza buffet my friend caleb from upstate south carolina wanted you to know that like literally it was one of the most uh talked about things in emails is that south carolina can make pizza too so south carolina i stand with you i've got an update too when we were in mississippi and size line was coming to meet him at the buck commander properties booth we saw the guy that we prayed for his daughter in the NICU yeah and she's doing great and she's out and she's healthy and you remember that size yeah that was amazing that's awesome so he said to tell his report man that's right a praise report praise love it praise of answer prayers man yep is that good hunter we can go home now i can take my kids fishing hunter are we good hunter is this okay with you hunter i got a verse hunter do you have a bible verse today i do not no hunter are we allowed to tell people how they should vote hunter would you say you're blue red or purple he's turning red the verse of the day is john 14 6 and jesus said there's one way to the father and that's through me i'm the way and the truth and the life. There you go. Let him be your guide. That actually makes me not believe in aliens.