Will Arnett Returns

Hi, my name is Will Arnett. And I feel just fine about being Conan O'Brien's friend. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hey there and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend joined by Matt Gorley. How are you, Matt? Good, thanks. And Sona Movesessian and Sona. Yeah. Of course, famously my assistant for many years. Yeah. And then things started to change a bit. I had babies. You had babies. Yeah. You stepped back from that role and you've risen to great fame on this podcast. And in your own right, and you're an author now, a lecturer, you're a phenomenon. I am a lecturer and an author. Yeah. You're like Cher now, I think. Oh, I wish. No, another Armenian star. Yes. Yeah. So this is unusual because David Hopping, a young lad from Southern Illinois, rose up from the ranks. You anointed him and he's my day-to-day assistant. Yeah. He's gone right now. He's gone to the Midwest for a wedding, I believe. And you stepped back into my role today as my assistant. Yeah. So you texted me this morning, asking me, we need to do these things today. Here's what's happening. And I thought, Sona's back. We're back in the New York groove. Yeah. You know what's funny? We just had an interview and I had ordered you lunch before the interview. And in my head, I was like, I hope Conan's lunch is here. Should someone go and take it and maybe put it in the fridge? I started to just go back into assistant mode. Yes. It's weird. How easily does it come back? Yeah. Is it like riding a bike? Yeah, it's really not hard. Although today I had to get on my phone for something and I was driving. So I was really nervous about doing whatever I needed to do on time. And I had to pull off the freeway and then park and do whatever I needed to do. And of course, we immediately got into the thing where you're nervous. And then we got into the thing where you're my assistant and you have to take care of things. And I start riffing and being a fool. So this morning, you knew that I have this medical appointment later on just to go to an eye doctor, get my eyes checked. And because I'm just wondering, do I need a new glasses prescription or whatever? So I'm just going to go see this doctor. He's going to give me those drops that dilate your eyes. And I know that. And so Sona this morning said, you can't drive. So I'll drive the appointment. So she told me, don't take your car to work today because I'll be driving you. And then you'll get it, whatever. You'll give me a lift home. So all that's going to happen. So I need a way to get to work. And Sona said, I'll call you an Uber. Let me know. And then I might even have it here. It was intense. This is what happens. It's also, I was like, I got it. I got to order him an Uber. I got to do it quick. I can't let him waiting forever. So here we go. She says, let me know when you're ready and I'll order an Uber for you. And I was done with a meeting I had at the house and I said, okay, you can order it now. And she says, okay, hold please. And I immediately respond, hurry. Exclamation point. What's happening? Exclamation question mark. Hello? Question mark, question mark. I'm scared. Three exclamation points. And Sona, that's like immediately, immediately. And she says, I'm doing it. I have to connect my corporate card. Don't poop yourself. And then she writes back two minutes. Double exclamation point. Let me know if you need more time and I'll tell the driver to wait. Your name is Sona. Cause she's ordering it for me. It's in her name. And I write all caps. That's too long to wait. She writes back, you've changed. I write, ah. This is all happening instantly. She says, actually, no, you haven't. And I said, I just died from waiting. I'm a ghost. And then I sent an emoji of a ghost. She writes, who's going to interview Rachel Senate, who's recording for today. Who's going to record today's guest. Not it. She says, and then I write her, hello, I am a policeman. I just found this cell phone next to a skeleton of someone waiting for an Uber. Sona immediately writes back, does he have any cash on him? Police officer. We can split it. I write deal. She says, thank you for your service. How are you even ordering an Uber and texting all this at the same time? Like how are you even doing your job? Oh, she knows you just have to riff with Conan. It's riffing with Conan is doing it and then riffing with him. That's what I remember the job is. Yeah. And Sona knows that the riff is more important than the Uber showing. So she's immediately all in on the riff and then she immediately goes into, oh, hello, officer. When I lay out that I'm a skeleton. I prioritize. It's prioritizing. The lift takes priority over him coming to work. And the best thing that would happen if there was a screw up, this is where it gets tricky. If there was a screw up and the Uber didn't come, that's, I don't care if I'm late. I don't care if there's major problems in our company because I'm late. I'm more interested in, oh my God, this is great. The Uber didn't come. Now I get to have that as new improv fun. Oh, yeah. And then I can make that work for two days. There can be two days riffs of me wandering the streets of LA. Two years. Okay. You went in in two years. You'd be like, hey, remember when you didn't get that Uber for me? You would say it. Yum, yum, yum, yum. And you know what? When I have something like that on somebody, it's a tasty. Yeah. Oh, it's a sweet gummy treat. It's an everlasting gobstop for you. It's an everlasting Willy Wonka gobstopper. Yeah. It never stops giving. Yeah. Make a mistake around me and I'm delighted. Oh, he loves it. Yum, yum, yum, yum. He loves the mistakes more than you actually doing your job. Yeah. He's hoping. He's rooting. You're rooting against me. I root against you because it's the most delicious thing in the world. It must be a fulfilling job to have. It sure is, girls. Well, welcome back. Yeah, I'm happy to be back here. All right. Well, let's get into today's show and I root against this guest. I want him to screw up. I hope he doesn't show because I like the riff more than I like the actual interview. Yeah. My guest today is a hilarious actor who starred in the Emmy award winning series, Arrested Development and co-hosts the smart list podcast. Now you can see him in the new movie is this thing on. I'm thrilled he's here. He's hilarious. Will Arnett, welcome. This is crazy. You just opened a box. This is like Pulp Fiction. A light is coming out. What is that? It's like his Tommy gun. I'm so excited. Oh, this is just a U-87. That's right. I don't know. It's only the Rolls Royce. Is that a normal? A microphone. Really? Yeah, I don't know. Do you want to touch my diamond? Is it really is? What do you do? You know, this is a reissue or this is original? No, this is a real. That's a real deal. This is like a Beatles mic. I'm so excited right now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You don't understand it. You don't have a vocal quality. I mean, it's barely. There's not a thing you can talk about in mics. I don't know. It's, you know, the dream right here. I mean, this is the U-87. I'm so scared to hold it. I mean, God damn it. What year do you think this is? And it also modeled after me. Yeah. It looks like you. Yeah, they took it. It looks like you. For me, they said it's a special, you know, the Germans are. I mean, first of all, you know, I don't want to blow smoke up your ass. Congrats. But you are the master of... It's by so many liquids. You're the master of... I know. You are the master of voiceover. You really are. Thank you. And I hear your, I mean, I can't... Go ahead. I try to flee your ads. Reeses pieces. Good luck. That's a truck. You once got all confused because you shoot so much of this shit. Do you remember the commercial you did when you went, Reeses, it's a truck. I do. I do. There's a low light. Yeah, but thank you. Of course I remember that. Why did they even air it? Oh, it's humiliating. Why did they air it? It's humiliating me. But this is, I mean, I'm not going to lie. This is a U-87. Yeah. Thanks for telling the truth on that. This is a P-48. These are gorgeous. These are amazing. It's funny. Remember, Eduardo, when you were working out the mics, you asked me about what mic I wanted. I said I want a Blauhauser, remember? Blauhauser. Blauhauser 57. 57 KK. Yep. You can't get them. You can't get a Blauhauser 57 and they're hard to get. Can't get one new. Do you know anything about the dark web? I've heard of the dark web. Where's the show broadcast just for legal reasons? Well, listen... I didn't even plug it. I just brought it into flex. Incredible to have. I wanted you guys to know how I'm living. No, no, no. There's nothing sad, some precedence. There's nothing about, sad about carrying around a microphone in a box. There's nothing, there's nothing at all sad about that. By the way, imagine that I packed it up from my house. I had it in the passenger seat in my car. I drove across town. You put a seatbelt over it. Basically, because I thought it was cool. It is cool. Listen, you're on a real podcast now. None of this. Hey, me and two of my friends are not going to know anything about a guest. You know what? Men jerk off. Oh, God. Fuck. Yeah. You guys are killing it. Listen, let me just... I mean, that all came from Envy. Because I remember when you guys, before you started, this guy called me before they started their podcast. We were like, oh, I get it. We're killing it. I get a call from this guy and he's like, where's trying to do a fraction of what you do? And he was all scared. He was all scared. I was like, Will, what's wrong? Just lower your voice a little. He's like, well, I'm scared. It's all bye. And I said, what is it? And he said, you still know what to do. And I said, calm down. I said, just make sure that you get... What is it? You're 87. 87. He's like, I'm writing this down. And then remember, he said, what do we do? And I said, these are your friends. Just talk. Just talk. I could barely write. If you remember, I said, because the tears of the paper was so wet, remember, he couldn't write anything down. This is so accurate. It was tears and urine. It was peeing onto the paper. Yeah. But that was just for gigs. You know, I did this podcast back at the old location. Yeah. Location. I'm short on time. And Shun is so... Location. Yeah. So I'm over there. And I remember walking out. I remember walking out to my car after doing it, after absolutely destroying. Yeah. Right. And I remember, I remember I was carried out by your staff on their shoulders. Sure. Right. It was an unbelievable... They remember they made it go... Who the fuck... Who the fuck stuffed confetti in the ceiling? They knew. They knew this was going to happen. They made it... I whispered to him, take me with you. Yeah. And remember, I don't know if you remember this, but I think one of the interns made a golden crown for you and put it on your head. And it said best podcast ever. Ever. And they filled up the head, one of those huge tanks around the lot of Warner Brothers. And they said, could you walk across this? One of your PAs with this look of amazement, right? Yeah. I remember that. So I remember I getting in my car and I says to my driver, I says, just drive. Just drive. Just drive. Just drive. I remember thinking, if this fucking guy can do a podcast. If, if, if this fucking... Are you menace Galco? Are you Sebastian Menace Galco? This fucking guy. This fucking guy. I wish. I wish I was. I wish I was selling on arenas. Me too. Every night of the week that would be great. And again, I'm saying this out of jealousy. I wish I met people routinely in my life who so amaze me. I could go this fucking guy. Right. Anyway. Back to you. Anyway, I know I wasn't doing that. Yeah, let's get back to me for a second. And you know, let me know if it's okay to interrupt you. I'm only the guest. And, and, and, and... This is heaven. Incredible. I'm definitely right. What's the expression I'm thinking of is just desserts. Okay. Get it. Oh, okay. Sorry. No, I did. It's true story. I did the podcast with you guys and it was so much fun. And I thought it would be fun to do it with people that I like and have fun with. That's actually a true story. Yeah. And I did think, and I hate saying it, you guys are very good at what you do. And so I thought if we do it, everybody's doing a podcast or we're going to look like a bunch of ding dongs. Yeah. So we, I went to it with even less of a format than you had. If you imagine. If that's possible. Yeah. I don't, anything is, we don't have a format. We have a title. We have a title. Right. And we have that thing we do up front. The concept is this, right? Is this thing. Who knows. That fell away very quickly. Now it's just. Well, apparently he's being held on to pretty tightly. Well, Adam Sacks, he is Rain Man when he doesn't get to watch Wopner. If we don't do that right away, he flips. That's our format. He flips. It's our format. It's our format. It's our format. I mean, listen, you might want to update the references. What is happening? Well, first of all, that movie just came out. Didn't it? No. Are you sure? I think it's been 40 years, 35 years. Oh, you know what? I think it's funny. It's time to go back in time. Remember? Oh, that should be a new segment. Didn't that come out? Yeah. Let's go back in time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, hey. And now we're here. Now we're here. You guys are killing it, obviously. We're having fun. We're having fun. Okay, don't do that. No, no, no. We're having a good time. Well, I don't know what that's like, but I want to say this. You catch the wink? I look at you three. I saw it. Trust me. I saw the wink. And I saw how hard it was for you to do the wink. I saw how palsy you are. You can't do the wink. Oh, where'd it go? Just give him stuff to cut. You know what's amazing? I get Sean Hayes. I get it. You do. I get the Sean Hayes. And then when you said, and Bateman's going to be there too, I have to admit, I thought, oh, this guy wants to fly. Yeah. And so in one arm, he's got this giant wing. And then you're holding an anvil in the other hand. I was shocked that you chose Bateman. Have you had Bateman in here? Well, we did. We did. And you know what he did the whole time? Yeah. I think at one point, someone tried to get him and eat a tic-tac. He was like, I can't. Oh. You know, he did say at one point, I took a sip of a soda and he went, you don't like your body very much. Because I think he wants to live. I don't want to live as long as Bateman wants to live. He wants to live to be 190. I've said this a couple of times, so forgive me. But I said to him recently, I said, you know what's going to happen? You're going to be on your death bed from malnutrition. And I'm going to be gurney side with a hot fudge sundae. Yeah. It's been years to go. You're visiting him. Yeah, I'm visiting him. Smoking and eating a hot fudge sundae. Is there anything better than a hot fudge sundae, by the way? Oh, it's so good. That's amazing. It's really good. Oh, I love a hot fudge sundae. Sorry. Wow. And so are you getting better at podcasts? No. We're getting worse at it. Have you ever read the comments on your own podcasts? You sent them to everyone? No. They edit them heavily. But I think they do. It's been a while. Adam does. Adam makes sure I don't see the ones that are like, why is he allowed to have a podcast? He takes all those ones out and he shows me ones that goes, he says, we got three comments from last week. And I'd be like, well, here it says we got over 75,000 comments. He'd be like, nope, it was only three. Yippee, Conan, you go Conan. They're all from- You're the same IP address. AdamSax.net. Conan is a host, was one of the comments you chose to show me. He shows you- Still this guy? How many kicks at the can? So I used to look at the thing and they'd be like, these guys are terrible. They interrupt people all the time. These guys are the worst. I hate this. And I keep going like, let me get, let me remember it. It's free. They don't have to listen to what's the problem. It's not an assignment. I read the greatest quote that we don't have to get into now, but I get about comments online. It's quite long, so I'm not going to bore you, but it's so good. Sally Rooney, have you ever read it? I've no Sally Rooney. You ever read Intermezzo? She was last year. I didn't read that, no. Really, really good. And she has this other one called Beautiful World, where it came out like three or four years ago. There's this quote at the end that Buck is about. Can I read it? Yeah. Please get what it is. We can always- Because you just keep listing things she's done. I know. Normal people. She's great. She went to Amherst. She's about 65 liters of water if you put her in a tank. I got them, right? Honestly, your references are all like old and or about New England. Man, there's a whole fucking world out there. I'm so, it's so- Why don't you go choke on her red socks bat while you're at it? This is what I'm talking about. What are you, Mayor White in 1975? Oh, look at Carlton Fisk over here. Jesus Christ. Hey, why don't you go fill in the back bay so there's more usable land, asshole. Oh my God. What? I mean, you know. I don't understand it. No worries, straight. He's getting it the whole- Tell him to shoot the noob. Shoot the noob. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, get back to- Anyway, so many points. I'm on Star Road Drive. Classic. Yeah, we got route nine. So this woman writes this thing. This book, they're writing emails to each other. This woman, she's a writer and she's writing a note to her friend and she's just on an interview about her new book. She says, I don't know if you've been following any of this, but about a month ago I was doing an interview over email and a journalist asked me what my partner thought of my books. Unthinkingly, I wrote back that he'd never read them. So of course, this became the headline of the interview. Alice Kelleyhair, my boyfriend, has never read my books. And afterwards, Felix, her boyfriend, saw a popular tweet saying something like, this is tragic. She deserves better. He showed me the tweet on the screen of his phone one evening without saying anything. And when I asked what he thought about it, he shrugged. And at first I thought a perfect example of our shallow self-congratulatory book culture in which non-readers are shunned as morally inferior. And the more books you read, the better you are than everyone else. But then I thought, no. What we really have here is an example of a presumably normal, insane person who's thinking has been deranged by the concept of celebrity. An example of someone who genuinely believes that because she has seen my photograph and read my novels, she knows me personally and in fact knows better than I do what is best for my life. And it's normal. It's normal for her not only to think of these bizarre thoughts privately, but to express them in public and receive positive feedback and attention as a result. She has no idea that she is in this small limited respect quite literally insane because everyone around her is also insane in exactly the same way. They really cannot tell the difference between someone they have heard of and someone they personally know. And they believe that the feelings they have about this person, they imagine me to be. Intimacy, resentment, hatred, pity are as real as the feelings they have about their own friends. And it makes me wonder whether celebrity culture has sort of metastasized to fill the emptiness left by religion like a malignant growth where the sacred used to be. Jesus Christ. How fucking good is that? That was pretty good. Does that sum it up? It is amazing. Guys, great show. Can I just say? You did it. My only regret is that it wasn't longer. Do you mind? I just maybe think of something. Can I just... Your attention span. Will, I'm sorry. That just made me think of something. Is it okay? There's this book called Moby Dick. Oh no. Can I... Is it okay if I just read the whole thing? You know what? Here we go. Page one. That was pretty great. Wasn't it amazing? I liked it. It's great to speak to the adults. Yeah, I enjoyed it. Call me Ishmael. Okay. Don't lick your fingers that much. Stop licking your foot. You're a quarterback. Yeah. Also his good. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I am so sorry, I think it's a mosquito. Is it? Did you guys see it? I saw it. I'll fuck it up. You know what, you reading that quote now seems professional. Just right after I gave you shit about being so long, Sona started trying to kill a bug. I'm sorry. Yeah, sorry I'm not doing the stupid voice and you know what I mean, doing some bit. Sorry I'm not referencing Barry Levinson films from the 80s. Remember in Diner? Oh my God. This is my show now. My worst nightmare came true. I know. You were so nice to me. Did you get it? It's still flying around the roof. It's a fruit fly. It is. You were so nice to me in the green room. You're such a jackal on hide. You never know what you're gonna get. Jackal or hide. One is the good guy, one is the bad guy. Who knows which? I don't know. Busy reading your quotes. Listen. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. Listen. Most people are on a walk. They're on a thing. They're exercising. They're driving and they're listening to this quote and they're having a profound moment. Yeah. And you know what? I went after you because it was very long. It's not just a quote. Sure. And that was several pages. But I should have acknowledged what a profound quote it was. Thank you. And it was cool of you to think of it and read it, but I didn't. I panicked. I went for the gag, the quip, the joke, the jpe, the gaff, the goof. This is getting longer than the quote. And I, I'm trying to make it last longer than the quote. And by going for the quick, you know, Laferu, as you, I think you call it Laferu when we work together. One time when I was in Australia, I did. Because I love tossing an ooo on the end of things. But it was profound. And you've had to deal with that because of celebrity culture. No. Don't drag me into deep water. Nice try. No, but it is, it is a, well, you don't know what it's like. I've been really fucking famous for like 32 years. And at the top of my game. Only because you're tall and you stick out. That's literally, that's literally the only reason. You're also loud. And you're loud. Yeah. Tall and loud is the way to go. Tall and loud. Again, it's tall and loud. It's the only reason. When you ask, when you look at what women are into, if I go on these sites where women are like, who's got Riz, they all say, tall and loud, give me tall and loud, give me tall and loud. What are those sites? If you had been, if you had been, I don't even know what a site is. If you had been more, if you were five, five, you would have been taken, you would have been working tolls on the mass bike. I really believe that. Near Sturbridge. Yeah, right near Sturbridge. Near Sturbridge Village, right? Get off that. Okay. Right there where the tolls are. That's where Sturbridge Village is. Hey you, you got a buckle on your hat? Listen. Let's be real for a second. Let's be real. Let's be real. Let's be real. Let's be real. Let's be real. Let's be real. Let's, what? No, couldn't do it. No? No. Oh. What the fuck? I'm half a wolf. I knew I could break you. Here's what I did. I'm gonna tell you what I said in the green room. I think you're a great guy. Oh. I think you're really funny. I think you're really talented. You've been doing it at a high level for many years and I respect you. This ruins everything. Oh, wow. Let's change the topic. Okay. This guy, this guy, there's so much to talk about. I love seeing you succeed. I can't say that about you. It kills me. I know. That smartness is a phenomenon. It just kills me. This is the best part. And especially, I mean, again, I root for you. You really rub his ear. I root for you and I root for Sean and then Bateman. What is it about Bateman? Oh, come on. What is it about Bateman? He just gets my goat. He's so pleased with himself and he doesn't age and he has such self-control and he sits there and he fires off these little ice daggers. Fuck him, right? I mean, come on, right? Am I alone? Does this sound like love? Yeah. I love him. I know what I knew. I would do him. Hang on, man. What? He's got... What? We just thought you like loved him. But a friend, oh, you want to do him. You want to go up? No, that's cool. That's fine. You do it too. I don't know. I can't speak to that. He says he likes tall and loud. I've seen his sights. What's been going on? What's been going on over here? Can I tell you something about, maybe? You want me to read you something else? This is shorter, but this is eucentric. Please, okay. Okay, let's hear it. I got you. If it's you got me with eucentric. Yeah, I know. It's another... And don't feel the need for it to be short. By the way, I've never used my notes app so much as in this fucking podcast. You're on that thing all the time. I know. Let's see what I do. So this happened last year. This is a true story. So this has to do with your Christmas party. Years go by, Jason never gets invited to Conan's Christmas party. Did you guys know about this? And he's brought it up before, right? Maybe when he came on the show, did he bring it up? Yeah. I know you and Sean pretty well. I don't know Jason as well. So, but a couple of times it's coincided multiple times with another mutual friend of ours, Christmas party. Yeah. And so... And let's be fair, she's a massive star. She's a massive star. Massive star. I mean, there's the, she's a couple of clicks above me and I give that up. She should be. But your party is very well attended. It's a very ritzy affair. Yeah. A lot of glossy names. Yeah. Yeah. So people often go either to Conan's first and then this person's or vice versa. So people are coming and going from this other person. So a bunch of times I've gone to Conan's and then I've gone over there and baby's like, did you guys just come from Conan's? Like, yeah. He's like, what the fuck? And he's so mad that he hasn't been invited. Yeah. Makes a big deal about it. And then when I heard that he was mad, I kind of didn't want to invite him to keep it going. Even worse, we did the live smart show in Boston. Conan came out, Jason gave you shit in front of a live audience that you did. And you said for... In my hometown. In your hometown. And you said for sure next year and then the next year you did not invite him. Right. Right. He was epic. Right. He was better than me. Yeah. It was sweet. It was sweet. To me, it was one of the best all time. I just, I love that he wasn't invited. It was better that he wasn't invited. Way better. Okay. So now he's really pissed. Finally last year you invited him. Yeah. And he's all proud about it. And he's like, well, you know, I got invited to the thing. And then he's like, first of all, he was like, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make it. Yeah. Because I got another party. Yeah. At which point I hear this, but I don't really say anything. So I get Conan to come on our show. Secretly. Secretly. And then get it. And it was so easy to get Bayman talking about the Christmas party and about Conan. He's like, I don't know if I'm going to be able to go. I'm listening. I'm listening. It's on Zoom, but I'm listening. You were here in this room. I was here in this room. And I'm listening. And you guys say, so, hey, Jason, you think you're going to go to Conan? So you're like, I don't know. And he's very casually and he's casual. And he's super casual. I don't know if I'm going to be able to. I've actually got this other party. At which point Conan reveals it. And he's like, you and he lays in the bay. I went after Bayman. He lays into him. Hilarious. So we're dying. So then not long after that, if I may bring up a touchy, actual, this is real personal subject for you. It's okay. I know what it is. Death in the family. Yep. My parents. So, well, first let me just take the timeline. Cause I have it here. I wrote it down last year because the timeline was so good. Yeah. So I hear that your dad passes away and I text you that day or the next day. And I said, hey, listen, I'm sorry to hear about your dad's passing, sending love from our family to yours. And you wrote, thank you, Will. To be honest, I blame Bayman. Oh, for the death of my father. The day after his father dies. Yeah. Right. So I wrote, it's not a terrible theory. And God texted me back. He killed my dad. Oh my God. My dad, can I say in fairness, my dad would have loved this. Okay. So, so, so then Bayman, I tell Bayman this, we're dying. We're doing a thing that day. So he, the next day, Bayman texts you and he says, Arnette tells me you're on to me. Yes. And Conan texts Bayman. He says, Bayman, do yourself a favor, turn yourself in. Right. Right. Yeah. Two days after your dad passes, of course your mom passed away. Yeah. Which we didn't, I did not see coming. Which did not see coming. So I text you two days after, I knew you were in boss. I said, Bayman is asking for your sister street address. Yes. Okay to give. And you were busy that weekend. Like a day and a half later, you texted back, just seeing this now. Fantastic. 625 Boilston Street, department 12. Tell Bayman to make it look like a robbery. Oh my God. You know what's weird? I swear to God, this is how I grieve. I know. Everyone has their way and. And I forget who I was at the time was like, might have been Sean or something. They were like, what do you think? I go, this is what he wants. This is what he wants right now. He wants to laugh and do bits. This is what he wants. And I know the vibe and obviously, obviously our heart was with you and we love you and all that stuff. But I knew that, and honestly, that was to tell him to make it look like a robbery. You're so sick. I know, I'm a sick person. But I do know my parents who I'm very sentimental about, but they, a big driving force in my life was making them laugh. Sure. And I did used to think about, am I gonna wanna do comedy after my parents are gone? Because that was the whole reason I did everything. But I remembered very much wanting to, I don't know, connect. It was so comforting to me to screw around with you guys at that moment. It just was. And so if that makes me a mad man, then so be it. No, I get that, man. It is that old my grandfather used to say, I mean, it's not that too profound, but he's like, if you didn't laugh, you'd cry. So like they're sort of in that same area and you're still emoting, you're still feeling and you're kind of doing it in a different way. I totally get that. There have been so many times, people call it gallows humor or whatever it is, but I get that. And I can't wait till my parents die. No, just because I've got so many bits ready to go. So many bits. Oh my God. God. I had, I just, that's, I know the feeling. I had, I knew that I had the Bateman bit. I've done everything. And my dad was like, I feel great. And I was like, I got this Bateman bit. I tried, I cut the brakes. I mean, Gastley got done it all and they just, it's like they looked it. No, it's like. No one has said cut the brakes in like 50 years. You can't make a car crash by cutting a wire anymore. No. Don't worry, I took care of his Tesla. What'd you do? I cut the brakes with this big scissors. Like they did in the 1920s. I have to mention, we have, there's so much to talk about with you, but I watched your movie last night. Is this thing on? And I was very pleased. And I'm really, I'm really, I'm proud of you as a friend. And I'm really happy for you because you're really magnificent in this film. And Bradley Cooper, who directs the movie, he has a part in it. And he's really funny as like a shrub, as a character actor. And a friend of yours. And it was really fun to see that. Laura Dern's great. But I was looking at it and I was thinking, I remember you once telling me that your big fear in life was being caught trying. You said that to me once, you said, I just don't wanna get caught trying. I know that feeling and it's why we gravitate towards comedy because you can joke around, if something doesn't quite work, you can make that the bit. You can just be a shape shifter all the time and nothing sticks to you. And you plant your feet in this project and you're another person. And it's a dramatic role. And I'm very proud of you for doing that. Well, first of all, thank you. Thanks a lot. And yeah, there's a lot of truth in that. I think that, you know, along those lines, I spent a lot of time being very cynical about a lot of things. And because it's easy, it's kind of, it is easy to hide behind it. And I give people shit. You know, we talk about it on our own podcast. When we hear people use the term storyteller, we're like, oh man, I call 911 for an eye-rolling incident. I'm gonna die from really my eyes. And then I get... No, I was an actor anymore. I was like, well, I think of my, I love to tell stories. It's like, it's acting. Yeah, it's acting. Shut up. But I get now a little bit more. And again, I don't see myself differently in any way. You have to do that thing where you have to kind of own it and be it and be, and there is a vulnerability to it. And I can't write it off as a bit. And I can't, at the end, pull my pants down and make a fart sound. So it is, in that way for me, it was scary. And truthfully, I feel very vulnerable even about people watching when I knew that you were gonna watch, they said, Bradley said that they sent it for you guys, for you to watch. Even Sean and Scotty here in it, they just watched it the full cut a couple of days ago, the final, and I remember just waiting for his reaction. He's my friend, loves me. My partner, we work together, do all this sort of stuff. And I'm thinking like, oh boy, what if they think I suck? But here's the thing, you initially were quite interested in drum, that's what you wanted to do. That was, and if we went back to you in your 20s, this is what you were interested in. This is why I moved to New York from Toronto, truthfully. And I was joke, of course, again, it's a nice cover, that I was young enough and dumb enough to think that that was a pursuit that I wanted to do. And I didn't know anything about comedy at all. I had no, I didn't do sketch, I was in a standup, all that stuff. And so I kind of backed my way into it. I really got into doing comedy stuff from auditioning for sitcom pilots, because I need to pay the rent in the 90s. Like the first couple of sitcom pilot auditions from my agent, I remember being like, I'm not gonna do a sitcom, like as if it was beneath, I wasn't working. I was making no money. I lived in the worst apartment you could imagine. And I'm thinking like, I'm not gonna do a sitcom. It's like, what a fucking idiot I am. But I went wanting to be a dramatic actor. And the other joke I made, used to make forever again as a cover was, people thought my dramatic acting was funny. Well, it's interesting because it's a dramatic role where you play someone who is going through a breakup. You're married, you have kids, the marriage is running out of gas. You guys break up, separate, you move to an apartment. You're wandering past a bar. Someone says you need to pay the cover charge to come in. And it's a high cover charge. And you're like, well, why? And they're like, it's cause it's a comedy club. You said, well, I don't have that money. And the guy said, well, just write your name down. This is a true story. It's an actual true story. It's inspired by this story of this English comedian, really funny guy, John Bishop, whom I happened to meet, not a bit. On a ferry. On a barge. A barge, yeah. A canal boat in Amsterdam at a lunch. And I went over there with a friend. And there was a big, a bunch of people going over there for this thing. And I went, I sat next to him and he told me the story of how he became a standup. And this story was, he was separated from his wife, getting divorced and he goes to a pub and he doesn't want to pay the cover and he puts his name down for open mic. So he gets in for free thinking, they're not gonna call me. And they call him and he goes up and the first thing he says is, I'm getting a divorce. I think I'm getting a divorce. He has no ambition to be a standup. No, there's nothing about standup. So that was the impetus to the story. He has the catharsis, he keeps going back. Yeah, it makes him feel good. He tried drinking, he tried all that stuff. But this he actually, and this is a guy who had never been to therapy, never done any of that stuff. But going in front of a crowd of strangers and just kind of talking about his own reality made him feel better. He got relief from it, which I totally get now. I've never done standup before and I can see how that works. I was curious to prepare for this role. You did standup. And you did a lot of standup. And were you telling the crowds this is for a movie role? No, well, once. I know that in that situation, I probably would have said, this is for a project. I would have wanted some kind of shield as opposed to- That was the instinct. And actually the truth is, the first time I went to do standup, Shane Gillis, who was really kind to us and invited us down to Austin and to go up at the mothership. And he said, come down here and we'll give you some time. So Bradley and I went down there. This is right after New Year's last year when we were in pre-production. And I hadn't done standup yet. And we went down there and we had all this material that we had written for the various sets that happened throughout the movie. And the first time I went up there, they introduced me as Alex Novak, my character's name. And so I go out, I'm nervous as hell. Again, I've done lots of stuff before, but never done actual standup. Even though I was being introduced out. So people are sort of, you can see some people were, and here some people were confused. They're kind of laughing. And there were some people who were clearly fans and not everybody, but some people were like, oh yeah, okay. And what's the name and what's going on? And I said, I said something like, yeah, I'm Alex. Bear with me hopefully in a year or so. This'll make sense is what I said. And then I went on and I did this set, came out, came off. And it went okay. It was like, I was, and I was about to go out again for the second time that night. And Kirk Fox, this comedian, great dude, super funny dude, he was talking to me and he said, hey man, don't, I don't know why it just, he goes, you don't need to explain it. Just go out and do it. Don't worry about it. Just go do it, yeah. And it was such a great piece of advice. And I was like, yeah, so I just went and I did it. And I thought, you know what? These people are gonna think I'm having a nervous breakdown, that's okay. It doesn't matter. And that gave me license. And then a couple of days later, we were the next day we flew back to New York and for six weeks, virtually every night, we'd go to the cellar at night and do three sets a night. And then during the day, we'd rework this stuff because we're trying to track my character's progression and the story and everything. And I would go up and they'd introduce me sometimes as his second time up or his first time. And I'd go up as Alex Novak and people would laugh or have a reaction and it didn't matter. And Bradley would say to me almost every time, you know, the instinct is, as you know, you go up there, you're a performer, you're doing this thing and then part of you is like, well, I just want to make him laugh anyway. Right, I just want to get the laugh because I'm there anyway. Might as well do something to get the laugh. Might as well lean on some of my old bits, my old stand bars, you know. And Bradley would stop me and he'd go, we're doing something different. And I go, right, we're doing something different. God, what a dick. I know. You can't throw your fastball. You're talking about Bradley Cooper or? No. But you're talking about General Omar Bradley. Omar Bradley. From World War II. Terrific general. And this is a film directed by General Omar Bradley. And we shot it, we shot it in the early 50s, I guess. Yeah. Because Korea was one. Yeah, yeah, right before he passed away and we were in, we were at the French sector of Berlin. Yes, yes. Because the French were still controlling it. The part of the end where your character defeats Hitler. I didn't see that coming. Yeah. With comedy. Yeah. I killed him with comedy. Well, I'll say one thing, I got pulled in and I think one of the compliments I can pay you is that I got pulled into the movie and then at one point you're having an argument with your estranged wife, Laura Dern. And I got mad at her. Sure. I got mad at the character. Because you love me. And I just, well, no, I did take your side. You have a big argument with her. Things are going, you have a big argument with her and I started to get agitated because I thought, no, he's right. You're not, he tried to do something nice. Why can't you? And I got worked up. I know the moment you're talking about. And it's funny, I've had a few people have had reactions from other people that I know, other men and women who have very, you know. So this morning, minor thing, because my wife and I watched the movie together and then this morning I'm doing something and she's like, did you lose those keys? And I went, I didn't lose those keys. And she said, well, were you gonna put them this time? And I said, I didn't lose them. I didn't even go looking for them. They're not lost. They were here. And she went, well, you kind of did lose them. And I just said, don't Laura Dern me. Wow. Because we had just watched the movie last night. I said, don't Laura Dern me. And she's like, okay, if we're doing that, I'm out. Wow. Because she doesn't, God bless Liza. She does not put up with my shit. She was like, if we're doing that game, I'm gone. And she went about her business. And then we talked later and it was good. Check your phone. Yeah. Oh my God. The pool boy. Why is Liza calling me? An old cliche. Yeah. Go through my assistant. Why is she directly contacting me? Pool boy's 80. Yeah. And he still wants to be called the pool boy. That's what makes you feel worse. Yeah. He's 80. He has no hips. They've been both been removed, but not replaced. He carried him around in a wheelbarrow. Take. Take. But, but... David asked to have his hips removed for weight. Yeah. No, he's the only guy I know who has joints removed for to keep his weight down. Yeah. It's unbelievable. Yeah. He had, remember the time he had just a spoonful of creme brulee and then he went on a shooting spree? I love the man. I do love the man and it's just jealousy. It's just pure jealousy. Of course, this jealousy looks so good. He looks so good. It's ridiculous. Anyway, let's not waste, we're talking about... Not another second on him. I got some years on you, but I am liking this part of life where you've done the other thing for a long time. You got a lot of satisfaction out of it. And now you're just trying stuff and you're putting yourself out there. And it's very cool. Thank you. I, you know, it's not like, I'm not making a big statement like, now I'm doing this at all. But it... You did ask me to call you actor. Yeah. Will Arnett. Storyteller. Storyteller. Storyteller. Storyteller. Storyweaver. Dreamweaver. Dreamweaver. And I, but it is, it has been, it's been really, again, been really satisfying doing this. And also I do feel like I'm at a stage in my life where I'm just a much more sort of bound and determined to do stuff that I want to do. Yeah, yeah. And so again, I'm not like, you know, now I'm doing this. Now I am the story at all, at all, at all, at all. I mean, I'm still a fucking idiot, you know. Glad you said it. I'm not supposed to say it, but I'm glad you did. But is that like a known... Yeah. Yeah. People for another... No, it is. It's like, you're on your Wikipedia page. It says Moron Willarnet. But do they? Born... But do they? These guys know. Maybe they started it. Yeah. Oh, you started it. Yeah. Oh, so you felt like somebody was talking about me. The podcast is... The total of your podcast is smartless. You know. What describes us best? And I do, you know this about me. I worship at the altar of arrested development. I think at its finest, it is maybe one of the highest levels of comedy that's been achieved. Or if not the, it's in very rare company. And so it's just a remarkable achievement. And so you're an indelible part of that thing. That's a real major way that my son and I have bonded over the years, is different comedic things. And he and I, to this day, when we get together, when he's back from school, and he's glum or one of us is down, we start watching arrested development. And he's like a, you know, he's like a car dealer in Vegas. He knows which ones to give me. And he knows exactly which ones to deal out. Like what mood? Which... What'll turn it around? Yeah, he knows that anything with Franklin in it will kill me. Oh my God. Franklin, the ventriloquist puppet. The close-up shot of Franklin pushing in, which I've talked to you about. Yeah. The reaction shot of a puppet. But there's so many things in that show that give me such delight. And I know that Mitch Hurwitz has been like a huge part of your life, not just as the creator of a show that helped you get a toehold and gave you a real push, but as a friend and a mentor and a life guide. Without question. And I don't know him well. I've met him a bunch of times. Which is funny, because you guys live like 200 yards from each other. I know. True story. And whenever he comes, I duck behind a hedge. Yeah. And you know what? I am, I, you know, it's that stupid thing in LA where you don't walk down the street. Nobody sees their neighbors. No one sees their neighbors here, which is not how I grew up, but it's very strange. Can I ask you just sort of sidebar? I want to get into the Mitch thing, because you're right. And I adore Mitch and he's been incredibly impactful in my life, not just as a sort of a comedic beacon and a guide and a mentor, but also as a friend and as a person. He's one of the all time great guys. Do you guys dream about moving back to New York a lot these days? Well, it's funny you say that. No. No, I'm kidding. No, it's funny you say it. I'm kind of half moving back now. And I'm like, I can't get out of here fast enough. Oh, okay. I still love, I love Los Angeles, but I really love a lot of things about Los Angeles and I'm happy to be here. But it's funny you say that because I've been going back more and more for work. Because Sirius XM, they have a space there and also both my kids are on the East Coast for school. So I'll go back East and I'll be in New York and I'm very happy to be honest, I like both. I like the contrast, but I like spending now two weeks in the, going up to Boston, seeing my family. But hanging in New York is great. And I know it's like the oldest thing, New York for LA and for years I got so sick of people going like, well in New York you can walk around, but I'm like, I know, I did the same thing. I lived in New York for over 20 years, I get it. But I have lately and I feel like I'm not alone. A lot of my friends and people you know are like, I'm ready to go back. Like I see my later stages of life being in New York. LA has been, I don't know, again, there are people like, good, get the fuck out. You know, I don't know what to tell you. I just got so much, many properties here in LA. Oh my God. I mean, I own most of Catalina. You know that about me, right? I didn't know that. I mean, what I did is I took money that I made here on the podcast and I have bought up most of the Valley, all of Catalina. You saw what happened in Catalina today, right? What happened? Oh my God. You're, they designated you're Gavin Newsom. What? It's a toxic site. It's worthless. I built a massive ship. It's all worthless. I built, I seriously own like 6,000 acres. On the way here, Gavin Newsom said it's toxic and they're just gonna raise it. And no one will ever, it's uninhabitable. No one will ever be able to go there. I built, do you know that giant geodesic dome that just went up? That's my house. You're destitute. You're destitute now. It's all gone. You lost everything. I told you not to put it all in Catalina. And you said nothing. And you actually said to me, this place will never be toxic. Which is, how could you? I said my marriage may be toxic and all my friendships. But this ground in Catalina never shall be. Remember? I said that to you? Of course I remember. You shattered it from a mountaintop. And I said I'm gonna build a giant geodesic dome. You said, get home and live there. Yes, and live there forever. I put everything into that. And you did say you were gonna live forever also as part of it. I know. I'll outlive Bateman. You and I are gonna outlive Bateman. I know. Oh man. You know he's gonna dance on my grave. Of course he will. That's not for six years. Well. Mitch Hurwitz, one of the all time great guys. I just wanna say he created Rest Development, as you know, as you pointed out. I don't think of, I mean, the wittiest, funniest, most naturally, just like such a gifted, gifted, gifted dude. Yeah, just amazing guy. He is, when I watch that show, I haven't actually rewatched in a while, but sometimes clips will come up and I'll just think like, what a fucking brilliant scene. Like what a great, everything. What a great idea. To keep that many balls in the air. And have it all pay off. To have that cast, but to have that vision. He was almost like a live act. We used to say it's emerging like on a live action, Simpson sometimes. Like especially from when you were there. Like those days. And I meant that it always is the highest compliment to him. No, cutaways. It's things that you can do in animation that you really can't achieve when you're shooting on a set. And you guys had that pace. The whole thing is beautifully rendered and man, does it hold up. It's great. And so I always, it's been a lovely thing for me in my life because I always go back to my favorite stuff and that includes Arrested Development. And you are so funny in that show. But it's great now. I mean, like I say, you have all these things in your back pocket. And now you can go make a movie with Bradley Cooper. And it's good. It's really good. Yeah, thanks. I just doubted him as Bradley Cooper. Not, I know a lot of people were like, you mean General Omar Bradley? I know people were going there. Why is your audience so obsessed with... You know what? We know one thing when you leave the comments, they're always like more World War II generals. Do they really? Yeah. That's bizarre, man. No. You probably get that too. It's marvelous. Yeah, mine are more UK said like Montgomery than one more Montgomery. Mentions of Montgomery. More Bernard Montgomery. Will, I'm very happy for you. You're a funny Neville Chamberlain once said, oh, sorry, go ahead. Oh, I'm muted. Will, you are a, you're a great friend and joking aside, it meant the world to me that you were texting me during a dark time and riffing with you over text was a true bomb. It really did. It was a serum that helped me and just delighted that you're in my life. Say hi to the guys for me. I will, I will. But do it more, show more love to Sean from me. And then let, you know what I mean? You'll know how to play it. Of course I know how to play it. Let Bateman know like, oh, he's really all over Sean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna just pour a lot of sugar on Sean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then be like, no, no, he knows you're on the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. Definitely mentioning that, pretty sure, mentioning. All right, I love it, man. This is it. We don't have a way to end this, really. Is there no ending to it? There really isn't an ending. It just, and this, wait, this, you know, we usually wait for it to peter out and this petered out a couple of times. So there's a couple of end points we can use. Okay. You know. Oh, oh, you're, okay, sorry. You're not saying you're gonna create an endpoint. And that's the way we do it. We do it. That's all we got. What are you gonna say? There goes another one. By the way. Yeah? There goes another one. Yeah, and I'll tell you something. That's what he said to her. Where are you looking? Oh, there's a camera there. Right there. Nothing ruins an audio presentation like a guy playing the camera. Hey, can I just say something? Yeah, it's about time you spoke up. Hey, do you have another quote? Oh, I got something. Hey, is it okay? I read this inspirational quote. It's a long sermon by Euripides. Fucking man, that thing went on and on. And it was great. Oh, I get it. Yeah, but. Can't you just say it in fewer words? Did you have to read the whole thing? This guy fucking kills me. What's on your phone that's better than me? Fuck. I'm just giving you time. I got people to talk to. Oh, look. I'm just looking at it. I was just doing some texting. Hey, fucking cruel musicians are texting me. Oh, what's this? Eddie better than text you too. What? Nothing. What was the question I was gonna ask you guys about, God, we just cut the pauses out so I seem really snappy. Yeah, yeah, we'll cut off. We're gonna double up on your pauses. Here it is. When you don't have a fancy mind, you can have fun. You guys are serious as well. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I think about a collab. Yes. You know? Hey. Should we do a collab? But you know what I'm saying? We do like a, we come in here into the studio, me and Shauna and Bayman. And come into the studio. And we do, and we just do, and we just do something, you know? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. We got a huge thing going. Just to give you a spark. That's fair. Okay. That's fair. We've been dragging ass lately. You're looking a little lighter. I love that that came on the heels of you going, you know, we got a good thing going. You immediately changed to we're dragging ass lately. Listen to me say something. Yeah. You guys come in. We join forces, you know? We take the power of this show and then we add whatever you guys are doing. And we have... Whenever we're doing... You're doing fine. Did you have a documentary or something? No. I don't remember. We did a docu-series. Yeah. Okay. I don't remember. I tried to get it and it said... Are you rolling? There's been little interest. Do you mind if I just do this real quick? Okay. Sorry, I don't want to interrupt. Okay. GMC continues its commitment to professional grade engineering and the GMC truck series. Like offering the world's first available six function multi-pro tailgate on Sierra. I just got to get a little business done. Is that okay? You know, you get a lot of that candy money from Reese's. I know you do. I don't hate to brag, but I got a candy bar too. Payday. Payday came to me. And I'm doing a payday bar now. And they want, yeah. No, Hershey's is your... Hershey's is your bar. Don't... God, you can't have fun. I'm sorry. He can't have... Not payday. What's that? It's not payday, it's Hershey's. God, he's... Do you have a guy in the room with you? Who's like, not monetizable. There's no money here. No, we don't have a cooler on set. We bring the cool down the heat on the table. Sorry, I mentioned the rival candy. That won't happen again. Why don't you just have a taser and just shock me? Oh my God. No, Hershey's, you know, Hershey's came to me like, versus peanut butter cups. Sorry. What? That's who owns Reese's, right? Yeah, well the big company that runs it all came to me. So you live Reese's and by the way, you don't even seem to like the candy when you talk about it. But Hershey came to me and they were like, please, please, please, please. And I said, all right, sure. Oh good. Yeah, and why I described them as sort of obsequious. They were so like, oh my God. They were hemorrhaging cash. And so I was like, yeah, whatever. Hey, Hershey's, I like it. But then they were like, you're so inarticulate. I forget that. I keep going. I said Hershey's good. But anyway, and then they said Hershey's candy bar through the roof, through the roof after I gave it my sign of approval. Through the roof, through the fucking roof. True story. Easily verifiable. And now I'm getting, don't look it up. Don't look it up. That always is alarm bells when somebody says, don't look it up immediately. And you tried to grab my phone. That's how worried you were. Just don't look it up. Anyway, what's the rest of your day like, Conan? Be honest. Be really honest. Facial. Is that true? Yeah, like one of those avocado scrubs on the face and then the back. What time you started drinking, like four? 3.30. Three o'clock. 2.30. 2.15. And then you're gonna watch the baseball. You're gonna watch the baseball? I mean, I'm not gonna say what they, but you're gonna watch the baseball? You can't say which teams? Oh, cause this doesn't air until, you know what this airs. Welcome to showbiz. Hey, hey, uh, hey, Merry Christmas. Fuck dude. Merry Christmas, man. Merry Christmas. God, Merry Christmas. You're still just a writer up on 17. Is this need a punch up? You always, you see. Lauren liked it. They're fucking, this is what happened when you let the nerds in. Did well at read through. This is what happened. The nerds never got it. You know what I mean? It works on the page. Yeah, we got it, don't worry. You didn't say it the right way. We're rolling, scram. Straight at, say it this way. Talents here. Jesus coming out of my eyes. Shh. Oh my God. We stopped recording so long ago. I know. Is it? These mics blow, but you can lean against them. You know, you can't do that with yours. I can lean against mine. Anyway, a time was had by all. You know what? And next what does? Stop ruining it. We had a great, I just tied it up. It was perfect. Should we continue? Fuck you, don't come back. Don't come back. He's the worst. You're a terrible guy. By the way, all jokes aside, and I know we're done, but let me just say this. And I know you wanted to get an invoice server and you said all the people came at you. But I did think of a gig that you'd be really good for. Yeah, what's that? Affleck. Affleck! Affleck! Fucking perfect. We got it. They also, this is a helium balloon company that wants me. Oh, helium balloons! Wait, voices can get higher? Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorely. Produced by me, Matt Gorely. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Frost, and Nick Leo. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Khan. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? 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