Welcome to the Horizon 2.6: Scorpion Bowl

Midnight Burger will always be free to listen to, but it's not free to make, so please consider supporting us by subscribing on Supporting Cast, Patreon, or Apple Podcasts. For early access, ad-free shows, exclusive content, and our enduring gratitude. Just follow any of the links in the show notes for this episode. It's not friendly. I think it's trying to get out. I can open it. I can give them what they want. The entire place is muckling. It's a total of... Everyone hold on to something! Doctor Graf, what have we done to ourselves? Show me the jib ram. Soon as sacrifice... Oh my god. We just lost the Elfridge. We lost! It exploded! Is the only one who can get the others through that ship? I'm sorry, but it's going to come down to you. I'm not a leader. I lost something. Something perfect. And I'm going to bring it home. Killian is so important to what is happening here. The little one's right. Made. For. This. No! No! So, it's to be war between us then. I think it must be. Mollus vs. Dorian. Jesus Christ. Who is this Doctor Graf you keep talking about? You have no cause to play here. Because what's coming, you cannot hope to face without me. Derelict. Season 3. Now crowdfunding. Support us at derelictpodcast.com. Thank you. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Oh. Oh. I didn't want to cut my trip short, Frank, but I was advised to return early. You were advised? Yes. Trinket, by any chance, were you advised to come back early by a deck of terrors? There's a saying where I come from. May you be blessed by the world breaking you. May you survive the blessings and break the world. Wait, is that just a big bag of oats? Yes. You're pouring out a bag of oats right now. Yes. Oh, God. The explanation for this is going to be really something, isn't it? Laugh all you want. This is what I do. We might need this very soon, though. Well, I understand, but without all the proper testing infrastructure, we're going to need to take our time to do this responsibly. Yeah, but big day. Trinket. Trinket. Trinket. Trinket. Trinket. No, no, no, no. Where am I? Where am I? Hello? Hello? Hello, is someone there? Hello? Hello? Where am I? Where? What is this place? Do you see a place? Yes. What's your name? Trinket. I like that name. I'm LaBouza. Hello, LaBouza. Where am I? Can you tell me what you're seeing? I'm on the shore of an ocean. Can you not see it? I don't really see things. Can you tell me more? Uh, an ocean. It's dark, like the sun is either about to come up or has just gone down. Hmm, that sounds nice. Can you tell me what's happening? Where are you from, Trinket? Well, Oregon. What is that? I mean, Earth. You're an earthling. Yes. It's rare for you to be where you are. And where's that? I'm not sure how to explain it. Give it a shot. Hmm, okay. On Earth, you like to race cars. I guess. When you're in the car, you look forward at what's right in front of you as you travel along the road. Right. But now imagine you're in the middle of the track. You can watch from the outside, seeing the cars trying to navigate the turns. Okay. I think I get it. You're outside of time and space right now. Holy shit. Labouza, am I on the astral plane right now? I'm not sure what earthlings call it. People where I'm from would call it, um, I'm sorry, it's been a while since I've spoken my native language. The, uh, the Ushpanat. So, so you're not, you're not like a spirit guiding me or something? No. I'm another mind like you. And we're meeting here on the astral plane. That's not a bad way of looking at it. As I walked along the beach, I could see moments from my life. Yes. You're on the outside looking in right now. So you can walk through your past like it's a museum. That's wild. It is. And if I keep walking along the beach, do I see my future? No, I don't think so. Every mind sees this place differently. To you, it's the shore of an ocean. The shore is your life from the past to the present. But if you look out onto that dark ocean, that's the future. That looks pretty foreboding. That's on purpose. It's very dangerous to travel into the future. Why? The future has infinite paths. Behind you is your single path. You can get lost very easily. This is a pretty big deal for me, Labooza. Really? Oh yeah. I mean, people like me work our whole lives for a glimpse of a place like this. This is kind of the Olympics for me. Olympics? Oh, never mind. Are you some sort of shaman on Earth? Yeah. That's one way of looking at it. Can you tell me more about what you see? Before I discovered how to reach this place, I used to study people like you. Well, I can't see where the sun is, but there's this other light, too. Far off that way, like a lighthouse. Tell me what a lighthouse is. It's like a tower on the shore. It shines a light so that ships won't run aground, but it... I think it's moving. It may be another mind like yours. It feels familiar, though, but I should go there. I should see what it is, right? Can I give you some advice? Sure. I wouldn't spend too much time here at first. It's easy to get lost. Okay. Speaking of which, I should go. Wait, wait, I have so many questions. I know. Where are you now? Oh, right now? I'm sitting on the floor of my shop. And I'm on a starship, very far away from you, in a very dangerous place. I have a lot of work to do when I come here. What are you doing? I have to go into the ocean. You just told me that was dangerous. It is. By over time, I've learned how to navigate it. Are you going to be all right? I will, but don't worry about me. You should probably head back. Any other advice before you go? I don't know. Like I said, it's strange for an earthling to be here. For now, I just work on remembering things. Remembering things? Yes. When you get back, this will feel like a dream. You'll have a hard time recalling anything. Try and hold on to as much as you can. Write things down as soon as you wake up. Okay. Okay, I will. It's nice to meet you, Trinket. You too, Labouza. Be careful. I will be. Maybe we'll meet again. I hope so. Whoa. Hello? I hate this goddamn phone so much. Hi, Eldon. Calling to check in. You'll need to keep an eye on things in town. I know. Let me go over the plan one more time. Okay. One second, though. I have to write down this crazy dream I just had. Oh, for fuck's sake. All right, boys. I think today is the day. The day for what, boss? Please enlighten us. Our unfortunate guests here yet? They just arrived. Wonderful. Salutations. Our apologies for any tardiness. Well, well, well. Freezer Pop and Jerky Chew. Welcome back. I trust you've gotten all the ice out of your veins. It was such and go for a minute there. I don't mind saying. We were hard pressed to get warm standing in the dry plume. Whatever. Against my protestations, our employer has allowed you two to go on a little redemption tour. My vote was to send you back to wherever the hell it was you came from, but the boss's word is the boss's word. We appreciate the opportunity to put a little shine back on our names. Ain't no way we'll be caught under wears again. Only time will tell. Morning, boss. Giga. Oh, shit. Rocket Pop and Freezer Pooh. Surprised you guys are showing your faces on Raxias again. They've been given the rare second chance by our employer. Congratulations, boys. I'm sure you'll fuck it up somehow. That's the spirit. Where do you need me? I need you on tactical today. Keep an eye on all the feeds. Got it. If you don't mind us asking. Seeing us how we're on the low rung on various poles. To what task are we tilting towards today? I'm glad you asked. It's a very important day to day people. Please bring your A game. Today, someone's going to try to kill me. Almost there. Three more. Now. Nice. Now I reduce the flame and we temper the blade. This shit's phenomenal, Tab Rock. I haven't gotten back to basics like this in a long time. I'm beginning to understand the earthling concept of hell. Good morning. Is there some rule that says sword making can't happen in the afternoon? You must work when your arm is the strongest. Tab Rock didn't know what he was sitting on. That meteor shower that almost killed you guys brought in stuff from all over the system. He's got a pile of ore back there with much better carbon levels than anything on earth. The sky has given me a great gift. How exciting. Fellas, I don't care. What's for breakfast? I slew a deer with the sunrise. Look at that. I love this guy. He slew a deer with the sunrise. At least the menu's better out here. It hangs on the spit by the wood pile. Thank you. Sorry to disturb your hammering. Good morning. Oh, hi baby. How are you holding up out there? Well, you know, every morning I wake up to the boys banging on their fucking swords. Seriously, how many swords does one guy need? How many knives do you have again? Touche. I miss you. I miss you too. This is stupid. It is stupid, but I get it. We discussed this about 5,000 times. This is all for the best. We can discuss it 5,001 if you want to. It's either you or Leif being Minsky's target. It's important that you be removed from the general populace for the time being. It keeps any prying eyes from seeing you, and it keeps the townspeople from catching a straight plasma blast. I get it, okay? Why do I have to be trapped out here with Leif? Because I don't want you to be by yourself. Fine. So, when are we making a move on this fucker? Tomorrow. Tomorrow? Yes. Does anyone want to let me in on the plan? What the fuck? I'm going to hang up and let you two talk. I love you, Verge. I love you too. Elden. You can't be a part of the plan. What? It's for the best. Says who? Says me. And who the fuck are you to decide? I'm the one who can run 1,000 simulations per second. I've gamed out every possible iteration of this plan. And? And you being part of the rescue operation puts you at too great a risk. It's putting everybody at risk, Elden. Life is already remaining here to run tactical operations. With me, you should do the same. Everybody's putting themselves in danger, and you want me to just sit here? Yes. No. Verge. How the fuck did you come to this conclusion? Honestly, it wasn't my idea. What? Oh. Deidra. She's very concerned for your safety. Well, I'm concerned for her fucking safety. In what world has you raised your voice on anything to change what I say? I can't believe this. God! She asked me about the possibility of completing this mission without you. I ran thousands of simulations, and I have to say, the prospects look good. How is that possible? Well, it's a very complicated calculation. I wouldn't want to bore you. I'm going to toss you into this fire and never look back. You're one of the most dangerous beings in the triad, Verge. As it turns out, the more dangerous people you add to a scenario, the more dangerous that scenario becomes for all parties. So when we have a scenario that only involves a small group of earthlings, the simulations returns very promising data. And you thought this talk of math and simulations was going to make me feel better? Then how about this? If heaven forfeits and something goes wrong, you will be available to pull everyone's rear end from the fire. Don't think of yourself as being excluded. Just think of yourself as a fire extinguisher in a little glass case. Oh, glass case. This doesn't make any sense to me. Which is why you have me. To make sense of things. Wait. So let me get this straight. She hung up so that you could break the bad news? Yes. And she and June are pulling up to the cabin right now to apologize. Hello! We are going to start the party! You better be right about this, Alden. Let's not forget that it was your idea to put us in this situation, Verge. I'm working very hard to avoid total disaster. And I still don't like it. Well, welcome to the wonderful world of doing the right thing. It's often painful. I have brought beers and whiskey. I have also brought whatever these fish are that Frank pulled out of Burnt Lake. Oh, also, Verge, look, I found you a girlfriend. Hey. Thank you, June. Leif, how you liking it out here? It's pretty great. We're making a sword. A sword? Tefra, you making a sword. What would you have me do? I don't know. Do you ever just make some knives and forks or something? I did so yesterday. Oh, well, look at me being an asshole. You are perfect. That's what I like to hear. Look, I have fish. We should salt them. Okay. Leif, we're going to go inside and salt the fish. If you know what I mean. Okay. Um, are we in a fight? How do you expect me to feel about this? Well, I think you should feel like I'm doing what's best for everyone. Are you? You can't step in front of every bullet, Verge. We're all doing this together. Let's go for a walk. Come on, I hardly ever get out here. Okay. Hi, Leif, where can I go for a walk? Okay. I will just stand out here by myself. Hey, Lucian. Looks like it's just you and me. What are we doing today? Life. Did you find it? Yes. What the hell were you doing with the shadow server on karma, karma, chameleon? Casinos need massive data storage and they're always hiding things from the authorities. It's a great place to hide stuff. Luckily, Dark Leif felt the same way. Pretty hilarious. This guy runs the whole triad, but he's still got bug out bags all over the place. There's a whole host of horrors on this server. Am I correct in thinking that DJK-DJK is the protocol you use to disrupt the old ice road? Yeah, that's the one. Is this everything? Your entire back of tracks? There's one missing. The Ted Slayer is still in a lock box at Red's rectangle. You can't access it remotely. Seems an odd place for it. There's no good place for it. It used to be on a network server, but that made me nervous. You could have just destroyed it? Yeah, I know. Something told me to hang on to it. Have you ever made anything that doesn't destroy things? Can you call me a piece of shit some other time, please? Anytime you like. You've got it all downloaded to your server? I do. Okay. Then we're ready. Tomorrow then. Okay. Alright everyone, here's how this is gonna work. We're currently one floor above the mermaid of the Dark Seas, what has to be the worst casino on Rex Prime. It is a total disaster down on the casino floor, but luckily for us the building could not be more poorly designed. Why is that good for us? Because there's no way to get to us without going through the casino. Very good, Francis Goldstar. If you want to get to me, you'll have to go through the casino. And Giga is now hacked into their security feeds, aren't you, Giga? Yeah, they even have video feeds in the bathrooms, which is real gross, boss. It would be against the law if there were things like laws around here. But all of this is good for us. The more video feeds, the better. The more video feeds, the better. Thank you, Slugger. So your intention is to get wind of verge before they've made it to you, in the hopes that will spring this trap of yours more readily? That is correct. I made a big show with one of Verge's associates, based on the assumption that Verge would then come after me. I am the bait in the trap. Seems as though that's awful dangerous for yourself there, boss. Ain't we better serve getting Verge where they live? If we know where they're at, why not scoop them up where they were at? And how well did that go for you, too? I seem to recall that it ended up with the two of you on the Space Junk Highway. I'm not making no excuses for our various failures, but our endeavors would have been a success. Were it not for all the failure, indeed. Seems to me, if we omit the failures, we come up with a spot-free record. What the fuck are you talking about? You guys sure you're fully thawed? I'm sensing a little ice on the brain. Never go hunting for a serpent in the serpent's den, boys. Always find a way to flesh it out. I'm the only one that Verge is going to make a special trip for. They do despise me to an unhealthy degree. It's hard to get a Vapien to make an unsafe move. The bait for this trap needs to be exceptional. And I am nothing if not exceptional. So we just sit here and wait? The first sign of Verge, and it will be up to all of you to keep me from getting dead. Don't fuck it up, everyone. Seans have Vapiens. They're so good at avoiding our seans. Ain't they going to just figure away pasture, watchful eyes? They absolutely are. I predict Verge will attempt a distraction. They'll orchestrate some sort of incident in the casino, meant to point our eyes in a particular direction, and then slip by unnoticed as we're looking the other way. So how do we defend against that? By having an ace up our sleeve. Everybody gather around Giga in the video feats. As you can see here, we have eyes on every inch of the casino. Look at that mass of people. Now, Giga, please press that little red button. Okay. Whoa, what's all this, boss? That, my friends, is experimental surveillance technology that we managed to get our hands on. It's called a DNA dog. The video feed is now available to highlight the specific race of everyone it sets its eyes on. Now all we have to do is set an alarm for Vapien DNA and wait. What if another Vapien shows up? There are hardly any Vapiens left. The chances of two showing up in the same place is almost zero. Verge will enter the casino thinking they're invisible, but they will stand out like a house fire. Simple as cake. Easy as pie. Have you guys ever made up high? It's actually really hard. Giga, keep an eye on the monitors. Let us know if you see anything odd. Everyone else, smoke them if you got them. Anyone want to do a puzzle? Pardon us, boss. What is it, boys? Seeing as how we're on a bit of a break, we were wanting to inquire as to the particular curiosities of our current sojourn. This here will be our second go round on this here planet trying to reel in this fish. We found ourselves out in the drink for it. And seeing as how our big boss man has got himself a whole mess of land to keep a handle on, we're wondering as to why this particular fish in this particular river put into this operation. And to what end we are prone to wonder. Jesus, that took forever. Can you two please come up with a faster way to ask a question? We realize... Please, God, don't answer that. I don't have all night. Listen, everyone. I realize that it may seem like a lot of work to bring in one person, but as our benevolent employer, he moves in mysterious ways. We all remember what the days were like with loaf tracks. Lucrative, certainly. But they were very chaotic. And with this new regime we find ourselves in, we're able to do so much more now that we have a leader with an actual attention span. But what comes along with that? Well, it's the odd obsession from time to time. Ours is not to ask why. Ours is to not fuck up and find ourselves floating in deep space. Understand? Hey, boss? Yes? Do you want to know about anything weird or just the vaping-related stuff? What have you got? Earthlings. Earthlings? Yeah. Sensors are telling me the makeup of the casino floor is 0.1% Earthling. Well, what the fuck is that about? I thought there was a whole town of Earthlings up in the mountains. Oh, yeah, but they're not real Earthlings. They're all wearing Earth suits up there, aren't they? That was certainly how we discerned it. Real close to the real thing in our eyes, but ain't no way they could be the real thing. Yeah, I mean, how could an entire town of actual Earthlings get all the way out here? Boss? My entire life, I've only met one Earthling. An entire town of them would be impossible. What about that one you met with? Steve. He kept his Earth suit activated the whole time. What? He stays in character the whole time? I assumed we'd make that assumption as well. See, it is how the alternative would be next to nuts. Bring them up on the monitors? I'm already scanning for vaping. I'd have to stop to look for Earthlings. Right. Right. Probably nothing. Yee-gup, keep your eyes on the monitors. Let us know if you see anyone from Earthland on the casino floor. Oh, I already do. You do? Where? There's one of them right there. She's sitting at the barber-duckled table. Well, here's the table of suckers. Alright, before I take everyone's money, I guess I gotta know how to play this game. I think her name is June. Who's got a cigarette? Boys, do you remember this woman? If we're being as honest as possible, our memories of our time on the mountain are about as fuzzy as cottonwood and springtime. Seems so, our time being frozen has made our brainpants a little leaky. Wow, sir, even less helpful now. I didn't think it was possible. Let's stay focused, everyone. The Earthling thing is weird, but we don't have time for that right now. I've got another one. Where? Right there. Fade 3. Is that? What is that? Is it a snack cart? Dere-dere-dere-dos? Fritos? Cheetos? Um, all of your earth snacks right here. Um, would anyone like an ice-cold yuhu? Ice-cold yuhu would hit the spot right about now. Yuhu and a flaming hot cheeto is what the doctor ordered. Also by the bar. Excuse me, bartender. Could I get three gin and tonics and 20 scratchers? Look at this lady. Ma'am, are you doomsday prepping with gin and tonics? Hey, look at this. She's got a gin and tonic for each personality. Am I right? High five! High five, ma'am! No! Nothing! You're gonna leave me hanging? Alright, fine. Hey, brah! Put the game on! What is happening? It looks as though Verge has uncharacteristically made themselves some friends. Everybody, keep your eyes on the monitors. This is Verge making their move. Sluggo, head down to the casino floor and keep an eye on things. You got it, boss. What exactly are they planning on doing? Remember, the plan is chaos. All of them are going to try and create a distraction of some sort. Head back down to the bumper duckle table. What's the first one doing? Now it's called pants darts. You play darts, but it's fed your pants. Where's the dartboard around here? As long as everyone stays cool at the table, it should be fine. Dealer, you have not given me the money I want. You are stealing from me. Oh, shit. Short. You again. Can daddy? Can daddyite? They're definitely making their move. Still no sign of baby in DNA. Where's Steve? Today, I met the love of my life. Her name is Juniper Suma. She just seemed kind of off to me. Why would you think that? Tell me. It's her eyes. They're just so dark. I feel like she's going to eat me or something. I get that a lot. Hell, really, for the moment, they released her. And she is everything. Something's amiss at Juniper's house, available everywhere this Valentine's Day. I'm inside the refugee camp. Should we even call it a camp? It's just a prison, right? I suppose it doesn't really matter what we call it. It's really bad in here, Eldon. They're giving them just enough to survive, looks like. They're all gathered around campfires trying to stay warm. Keeping them in a constant state of desperation is an essential part of the operation. There are so many of them. How am I supposed to convince everyone to get to the evac point? There should be a point person to talk to, not an elected leader per se, but someone who's gained the trust of the group and de facto leader, or at least someone who can circulate the plan to everyone there. Okay, um, how do I find that person? You don't. The reason we sent you down there undisguised is so you'll stick out like a sore thumb. Be patient and wait for someone to approach you. That should be the person to talk to. Okay. What level of freakout is Virgat right now? I really don't think I'm the one to worry about right now, sweetheart. Hey. Are you okay? I'm... okay. God, there are so many different types of people down here, Virg. Yeah, they come from all over the place. After all this is over, I need you to make a serious effort to show me something out here that isn't terrible. Okay? That's a good idea. I wish I could go back, do everything over again with you there. Baby, we should have been assigned each other at birth. We should never have had to look for each other. It's a crime. But according to Leif, there's an ocean of universes out there. And, um, in one of them, I was an awkward kid walking into freshman year at Hood River Valley High School. And, uh, there you were somehow. I looked up at you and put my heart into all four of your hands. And I never looked back. Those happy kids are out there somewhere. Just think about all the versions of us that never met. I worry about them all the time. Who are you? Hang on, I think I just hit the jackpot. Hi! Earth? Yes, um, I'm Deidre. You're on the wrong planet. I think everyone here is on the wrong planet. I think you know what I mean. What's your name? I promise I'm here to help you. Malu. Wait, what? It's nice to meet you, Malu. Holy shit! Oh, nothing. One Earthling is weird, but I've seen two now. One a few days ago, and now you. Right, Steve. You saw my friend Steve. He told me about all of you. Me and my friends are trying to get everyone out of here. I promise. The reason why we are all here is because someone said they were going to save us. They were lying. Why should I believe you? Deidre, if you're talking to someone that's green with yellow stripes, they're from a planet called Limonia. They're probably there with their younger brothers and sisters. You've got every right to be protective. Are you here with family? Limonia is mostly wetlands. Everyone there has to work at a water treatment facility. It sucks. You're from Limonia, right? You were trying to get your family away from the water treatment facilities? I don't blame you for being desperate. Our parents thought they were saving us. Malou, if you'll trust me, your parents sending you away won't be in vain. How are you going to do this? There's a ship coming. I need everyone in this encampment to follow me. Suspicion isn't going to get you out of this place, Malou. Only trust is going to do that. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it's true. Show me where. Then I'll decide. Okay. Follow me. Anyway, they're called the Hertz. Apparently they were here on this mountain a long time ago. And I don't know why. There's this huge structure back in town, but that can't be everything they left behind. Hmm. Ancient ones. Yeah. Ancient ones. I keep walking around looking for something they may have left behind, but it's just that one structure. It can't have just been that building. Hammer scale. What? You must find hammer scale. What is that? When kingdoms fall, they become ruins. The ruins fade into the mountains and hills, but even as the ruins turn to dust, the hammer scale remains. What is it? When my hammer strikes the steel, it leaves behind hammer scale. I cannot see it, but it remains forever. Okay. Okay, so it's microscopic iron dust. It disappears into the soil, but it's always there. You must look for that which you cannot see. Right. Okay. Traces of them I can't see. We cannot help but leave traces of ourselves behind, no matter how much we wish to disappear. Hello. Trinket, what's up? Nothing. I got bored. Bored? And a little anxious. Also, I think Elden got a little annoyed that I kept picking up my landline for an update. Just a little annoyed. Where's Verge? There. A little anxious. Trying to work it out with some target practice. I see. Any news? How are we doing, Elden? D-Dress made contact with a point person down in the cave. They're making their way to the access point now. Meanwhile, everyone else is putting on quite a show. Bartender, Mooman! You guys got a jukebox? We want to play some Billy Joel. I'm moving out! Ba-da-da-da! Pain, pain, a-pow! You guys got moving out? No, Allentown. No, no, no, no, no. Here is the proper trajectory. You start with moving out. Then kick it up a notch with big shot. Then you bring it back down with New York State of Mind. Then you bring the heat with, you may be right, Poto Pocca Cacaccia. I may be crazy. Yo, Bartender! Okay, okay, we are out of ding-dongs, but we are going with a two-for-one special for snowballs. Would anyone like snowballs? Snowballs over here! Snorts, you want a snowball? I do not want your balls. Everything seems to be the appropriate level of ridiculous at the moment. You really think this is going to work? The whole thing hinges on the fact that Minsky would never expect us to try and free all the people he's got trapped down there. He thinks no one knows where he's keeping them. There's no way he's going to say, but what if they have a mushroom witch? Now all we have to do is keep his attention on the casino, and we should be good. This part is the easy part. The hard part will be the completely impossible part that involves a ship that probably doesn't exist. Wave, I've got to ask you something. What? You've been pretty resistant to this ship everyone's talking about. The true trans-traveler. Yeah, I mean, you really hate this idea. I do. Do you think maybe you've gotten a little desensitized to, you know, all this? All what? Well, there's a space dinosaur over there. Verge has four arms. I'm full of mushrooms. The whole Frank situation. A mountain that travels through the universe. A diner that does the same thing. But with the ship, there's this wall of doubt. And you don't think that's weird? Qualandis. That was the name of the planet I was on before I got here. My arm turned black. So did my foot. The only thing that saved me was the frozen shit of a giant walrus thing that I set on fire to stay warm. I walked for hours in cold that could kill a friggin' Inuit. And before that, I had to save us from the bad guy by picking up a gun and shooting my friends, hoping to God that I didn't kill them. Where was my magical sled to carry me to safety, Trinket? I'm not oblivious to all the insane shit that I've seen, but if I depend on it, if I just hope that it's going to be there, I think that's a good way to get dead. You know, sorry to be a witch about it, but that brain of yours and the actions you take and the magical spaceships and the traveling mountains, the spirits move in all of those things, Leif. For me, there's no difference between them. I don't know how to calculate for the movements of the spirits, Trinket. I think you do. But I understand you need to call it something else. Try to have a little faith, sometimes, Leif. Just because you're smart doesn't mean you know everything. Trust me. Smart person's disease. What? I'm a friend of mine told me I have smart person's disease. Smart people, such as myself, suffer a side effect of our smartness, where we think everyone else is stupid, just because we're smart. Exactly. Hey, I've got a question for you. Okay. Down in the caves. Didra just ran into someone I know. Really? I knew them in another universe. That's weird. It's statistically impossible. But it's not the first time it's happened. I've been to a billion universes at this point, but I keep running into people I know. What's that about? It's really beautiful. Sure, but what does it mean? I don't know. People become bonded with each other in all sorts of ways that we can never know. Maybe people have a way of sticking together that we can't really understand. I hate big questions. I know. I've got too many of them right now. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot going on with you right now. But hey, I think I might be able to help you out with one of those. Oh yeah? You were saying that you were in one place and then suddenly you woke up here in Hood's Pocket, right? Yeah. You don't remember how you got here? No. I think I can help you with that. How? Well, it's a little, you know, witchy. You're going to cast a spell on me or something? No, not exactly. But I think I know a way that we can walk you through your memories like we're walking on a beach. A beach? Yes. How? Well, it involves the astral plane. Yes. Trinket. Hey, I know. I know how it sounds. But I think it's possible. Okay. Maybe I deal with all this stuff first? Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Okay. The astral plane. That's right. Sure. Yes. Life. Yeah. We're here. Okay. That should be where the rock wall is the thinnest. Remember that ball of goo I gave you? Yeah. Take it out and stick it to the wall. Okay. Okay, it's on. Now, that other thing I gave you, it looks like a stick with a string sticking out of it. Yes. Stick it inside the goo. After you pull the string, you'll have 10 seconds. Okay. What is this stuff, Life? Just a simple mixture of household products, Deidre. Okay, I'm pulling the string. 10 seconds. Let's go. Holy shit. Nice work. Household products, huh? Everybody's got a bomb under their kitchen sink, Deidre. Did you manage to make a hole? Yeah. Yeah, it worked. Okay. That should lead all the way out to the ocean. Good luck. Thanks. Rage is okay? Talk to you later. Okay. I'll be right back. Okay. Okay. Good luck. Thanks. Rage is okay? Target practice. Got it. Kind of wish I was on the casino team right now. That sounds like fun. It's about to get less fun, but that's no concern of yours. Report back to us when you've reached the evacuation point. Okay. What's up in the casino? Minsky has sent someone to monitor the casino floor. Who? Sluggo. Great. It's called a scorpion ball. It's gin, rum, tequila, and then dark rum, little splash of pineapple, then a shot of flaming rum in the middle, and a straw. You know, scorpion balls. Hell, you do not forget the cherries. Okay, boss. I'm on the casino floor. Good. Wait there until we see someone make them. Sure thing. Frank. Yeah, what's up? Casually look to your right. Okay. Casually looking? Do you see the eight foot purple robot? I do. Oh my God, Jesus Christ. What the fuck is that thing? That's Sluggo. He's a thug bot. Oh. Huh. Gee, I wonder what his job is. We need to take him off the board. Copy that. We take him off the board? That's right. Okay. How do we do that? Minsky sent him down to wait for our next move. Yes, perfect. What is our next move? We don't have one, but Minsky doesn't know that. Okay, so what do we do then? We act like we're making our next move. Sure, got it. By doing what? Do you see the hallway to your left? Yeah. Head towards it and act like you're trying to act casual. Wait, how do I act like I'm... Never mind. You can do it. Pardon them what? I am going to casually walk down this hallway. BRB. I had a B right back. Amazing work, Frank. That one there. Where's he going? Looks like he's walking towards the freight elevator. Here we go. Follow him. Sure thing, boss. Doug. Oh, yes, I'm here. See that purple robot heading towards you? Purple... Oh my goodness. What do I do? Don't worry, he's going to walk right past you. I really hope so. Play it cool. Uh-huh. Uh, Zagnut... I've got... Zagnut bars here. Okay, he just... He just passed me. Hit the first switch on your beverage cart. Uh-huh. Okay, uh, first switch. Done. That should cut off Sluggo's comms. He's all yours. This should be an interesting experiment. Experiment? Elton, where am I going? There should be a freight elevator in front of you. Yeah, how do I open it? One moment. Get inside. Okay, got it. And then what? Then wait. Wait? Evening. Hey! Hi, hi, hi. Where you headed? Huh? Is this not the bathroom? It's the freight elevator. Oh, oh my God. Now I see. The signage in this place, am I right? It's just... I mean, it is very confusing. So, Frank, like I said, we need to take Sluggo off the board. I'm going to close the door to the elevator in a moment. Just do whatever comes naturally. God damn it, Elton. Okay, I have now gotten the hang of this game. Which means everyone here is in trouble. It is your turn. Snorts. We had a whole conversation about patience. Do you remember? Hello, June. We need to inject a little more chaos onto the casino floor. Get Snorts to throw one of his little temper tantrums, won't you? I'm going to twist my arm. I am not twisting your arm. I am not talking to you, Shorts! Gee! Who are you talking to? Excuse me, dealer. I ordered some chicken tendies like half an hour ago. Not sure what kind of place you're running here. You have ordered no chicken tenders. You don't know! Take your turn. Okay, okay, fine. Here we go. Taking my turn. Chopin' broccoli. Chopin' broccoli. Chopin' broccoli. Chopin' broccoli. We be chopin' broccoli. Stop singing that song! Every time you talk to me, I have to start over. Chopin' broccoli! We've got a problem. What? Snorts. Why will you not take your turn? They really need to stop letting him into casinos. Where is Sluggo? Uh, I don't have him. He was headed for the freight elevators. Okay, the video feeding elevators has gone dark. Gone dark how? I don't know how. This isn't Verge. This is something else. What is it? I don't know. Where is Steve? Celeste, what's your status? Turns out the bartender makes a hell of a scorpion bowl. Wonderful. What else? The entire casino floor has somehow turned into a bar brawl. Hard not to admire June's ability to create total chaos. What am I supposed to do? We're about to pull the rug out. Frank may need help getting out of the freight elevator. Okay. Doug, are you ready? Um, getting pretty crazy down here. Okay. It's the second switch on your beverage cart. Okay, I'm ready. Okay. Hit it. Here it goes. Uh, guys, the blackout is on purpose, right? It's all part of our fake plan, June. Okay. Okay, there it is. We're supposed to wait right here. All of us. Yes, we need to get everyone to the mouth of the cave, and the ship will be right outside the cave. When it shows up, we all make a run for it. But we don't have a lot of time. We're going to have to wait for the ship to get out of the cave. We're going to have to wait for the ship to get out of the cave. We all make a run for it. But we don't have a lot of time. That is hard for me to believe. I know. I know it is. Um, have you heard of the true trans traveler? Every desperate person has heard of the true trans traveler. It's coming. It's coming soon. Malu, I know. The problem is that all of us got stuck in this place because we decided to trust someone we didn't know. I know. You cannot ask me to do that twice. I'm asking. I'm asking twice. Malu, come on. I just blew a hole in the wall. That's gotta mean something. Your name is Deidre. Yes. We're all very tired, Deidre. I know. We were all very tired when our journey began. But now we have given up hope. But you are here telling us to have hope again. That must feel terrible. Pat must make you feel even more exhausted. People keep telling you to believe in them and they keep letting you down. Why do so many think that desperate people are like property? You take them, you throw them away when you want. What do we do? Malu, you haven't done anything except live in the world. They made that a crime. Despite all of this, you have to believe that out there somewhere are people who don't think this is right. People who will try to stop it when they see it? I don't want to believe, but... I think they're out there somewhere. They're right here, Malu. It's me. I can't let this happen. So I'm here trying to stop it. I need you to believe in people one more time. Just one more time. One more time. Celeste, I know it's dark in there, but have you managed to make it to the freight elevator? Never fear. I'm guided by the light of my flaming beverage. I'm like Indiana Jones. It's very industrious of you. There should be a manual release under the control panel. Do you see it? I see it. Push it up to the left. Okay. Frank? Oh, hey, Celeste, your drink is on fire. It's a scorpion ball. Oh, right. Sure. What is this junk everywhere? The junk? Oh, yeah. I don't know. It must have been here when I got here. Is that a robot head? It is a robot head. Don't worry about it. Elden, what are we doing? All right, everyone, abandon the casino and make your way to the alley. When the lights coming up, we'll be gone, and hopefully Minsky will be very confused. Oh, I know I certainly am. Okay. All right, everybody, move. Let's go. Okay, we're back up. What the hell just happened? I'm... confused. About which part? We just lost power in the casino for several minutes. Yeah? So in a predictable world, I would be dead when the lights came back up. Not to make assumptions, boss. You appear to be breathing in and out. I am, in fact. Where's Sluggo? Hang on. Is that...? What the hell happened to him? Looking like he took a trip down the stairs. Yet there he sits in the elevator. Where is Steve? Steve? This is... This is something else. This isn't Verge making their move. This is something else. What is it? No. No. That can't be it. What? Bring up the video feed for the caves. The caves? Just do it. Okay. Oh, who is that? It's patched through the audio. You're live. Steve? Well, good evening. How's your night been, Minsky? What the hell are you up to, Steve? I don't know what you mean. What are you doing in the caves, Steve? Well, I was looking for the bathroom. I showed you my operation down there in confidence. Steve, I thought we had an understanding. I'm pretty sure our understanding was you thinking that I was a fucking idiot. Steve, what's the plan here? You had your friends come to the casino and distract me and... Now what? You're going to steal literally thousands of people from me? You think I can't stop that before it happens? Where are you going to put them? You really expect me to lay out my whole plan for you right now? That really wouldn't make me an idiot. You should think twice before crossing me like this, Steve. And you should think twice before messing with a Coos Bay dirtbag! He cut the feed. What is a Coos Bay dirtbag? Fucking earthlings. Francis. What's up, boss? Head down to the caves. Deal with Steve, would you? Sure thing, boss. That's the last one of them. Oh my god. This is so many people. I hope you know what you're doing. We've all decided to trust you. Okay. Okay. Everyone, can I have your attention? Everyone? Everybody, shut the fuck up. Thank you. My name is Stedra. I know so many of you are scared right now. I'm scared too, but I swear to god we have a plan, okay? I think a lot of them want to know who you are. Oh, alright. Apparently you all would like to know who we are. I guess that's understandable. I kind of came out of nowhere. So who are we? Well, honestly, we're not anyone. We're not freedom fighters or anything like that. Honestly, I think we're just like anyone else. We're normal people who found ourselves sitting by and watching something terrible happen. And we couldn't sit by and watch anymore. It's kind of a weird moment. Your feet just start moving and suddenly you're in the middle of it. We risked a lot to do this. We didn't have much of a choice. It was like it chose us. So now, well, now we've come to the part of the plan where we just have to cross our fingers and wait. Don't lose hope, everyone. We're almost there. Thank you, Maliu. I've decided this is the last time I'll ever trust somebody. I hope you don't regret it. Honestly, me too. Do you hear that? The music? I think so. From where? I don't see it. Stars are free and you are the way of Stardust. You are born free and you will be free again. Holy shit. All of our children, time to get reborn. I can't believe that, everybody. Move it. Oh, Steve. Where are you hiding, pal? Okay, Steve, don't panic. You've got that thing I gave you. Yeah, yeah. Turn it on. What do I do with it? It'll do all the work. It's a microwave drill. It'll scramble his insides, but it takes time to work. Give it as much time as you can. He's got knives for hands, Lave. Better than lasers for hands. Shit. There you are. Great to see you again, Steve Arino. Hey, Francis. You know, Steve, I hope you understand that I think you're a real cool guy. Hate that it has to end this way. You know, the things you say, they don't quite match the things that you do, Francis. I know. It's my curse. I would have been much better off entertaining kids. I think that's probably a terrible idea, Francis. Oh well. It's my lot in life. No. I tell people all the time that things will go a lot quicker, but they don't struggle. Nobody ever listens. I'm just trying to look down for them. Francis, wait. I need to tell you something. Okay, better make it fast. Everything I say is a lie. Okay. Also, I'm lying. You're lying. Yes. But everything you say is a lie. Right. Which means you're lying about lying. I am. Which means you're telling the truth. Yes. But you're always lying. Always. Hey, wait a minute. Are you trying to logic bomb me? Maybe. Oh, come on, Steve. That stuff hasn't worked for a hundred years. With a shot, I guess. Hey, for effort. Shit. Think about it this way, Steve. There's a million ways to kill a guy that's much faster and easier, but Menski makes me do it this way. What kind of bananas is that to put into a paper shredder? What? I said, cut fine of pajamas is black to snip pinto the Gaperbredder. Francis? Bluff, bluff, bluff, blunnows, blizz, bluff, blon-toe, blue, blather, bletter. Lave. I think it worked. That was a close one. Taisy, Taisy, give me your answer, dude. Weird that I feel bad now. He was about to kill you, dude. Yeah. Nobody's perfect, but, uh, so what do I do now? Steve, I can't believe I'm saying this, but we're in the clear. Head to the evac point. Seriously? Get back to Hoodspocket, Steve. We've got a long night of making fun of Lave ahead of us. Holy shit. You don't need to take it. You don't need a suitcase. Just bring yourself and the person you long to be. Are all of your people on board? I'm the last one. Okay. I can't believe this worked. Where do you think we're going? I don't know, Malu. I know it's better than here. Are you sure you don't want to come with us? It's dangerous here. I already found my magic ship. Go. I won't forget you. The ship is full. You've got nothing but green lights. But, for all children, it's gonna be a lonely ride in a good way. Wow. Well, now I have nothing but questions. No one is ever allowed to doubt me again. Hey, baby. Deidra, we've got the door to the cave sealed. Now even Minsky can't get in. Head out to the mouth of the cave onto the beach. Celeste will pick you up there. On my way? I just got us in a lot of trouble, didn't I? Well, I can't imagine Minsky being thrilled about this, but we can deal with that tomorrow. Right now, I don't think even he knows what's going on. But he will. Don't worry about that now. Just get back to me. June's already started the party at the sheep's eye. Sounds like fun. Private party first, though, okay? Just you and me. That's my favorite kind of party. Shit! Alas of note. You know what everyone else fails to see, bugaboo? What's that, battle-po? That we embody the spirit of the under-restimated. Just when they don't forget about us, there we are. In the clutch. Snatch and defeat from the mouth of victory. Ma'am, if you would be so kind, our employer would like a word. The Bracken system and its homeworld ran. That's where I'm from. Pure chaos. I wish people could understand what it's like to live in that. People don't know what it's like to fight for your life every day. I was taught a very valuable lesson there. That there must be a way to get through this. I was taught a very valuable lesson there. That there must be an order to things. There must be a hand that guides everything. That people, collectively, are idiots and need to be told what to do. I know that sounds strange coming from a career criminal, but I've found the rules of crime to be even more strict than those of law and order. The rules in my world are clear. They are severe, and judgment is swift. I know you're out there listening to me. I know we can work together on this. Let's add a little order to the world, shall we? Hey, Minsky. Well, be still my heart. I'm sure you're worried about Deidra. Please, don't worry. She's being treated very well. Oh, for your sake, I hope so. Let's get down to it. It's a tale as old as time. Me for her. That's right. What the fuck does he want with me, Minsky? To be quite honest with you, Verge, I don't care. I was sent here to do a job. I'm about to complete that job, and then after that, we will be able to return to doing the good work of... Well, you know, the work we do. Frankly, this whole thing has been an unnecessary distraction. But he moves in strange ways, my emblem. If you've hurt her... Everyone dies. Verge, if I don't return with you to the galaxy brain, we're all dead. See, I've got skin in the game, too. I bear no malice whatsoever towards this woman. Come to me here. We'll put her in your ship and send her back to her little mountain. You realize... I'm gonna kill you the first chance I get, right? Of course. I'd expect nothing less. But that's what I'm talking about, Verge. Rules. Clear. Severe. Swift. They come for us all eventually. It'll be lovely to see you again. No... Where are we at? They've just made the trade-off. Deidra is in the Phoenix, and I'm flying her back now. So, this is up to us now? We have one last advantage. What? We didn't know if Minsky was here for you or Verge. Now we know. Which means... They have no idea I exist. That's right. I hope you remember how to get into the galaxy brain. I remember. Testing one, two, three... Looks like Deidra left her phone behind. This message is for the good people of Hood's pocket. My business with Verge has concluded, but I'm afraid there are one or two action items that need to be addressed before I go. I'm afraid that little town of yours has cost me a lot of money today. Quite ingenious what you did. I'm honestly still not sure how you did it, but regardless, a transgression like this can't go unanswered. What the fuck is that? The sound you're hearing is the sound of battle-pope and bugaboo igniting the chemical pits. Oh shit. You're new in town, so you probably don't know what that is. It's an ocean of toxic chemicals that's deposited right next to Raxias. Everyone is always worried what would happen if the chemical pits blew. Now we're going to find out. Motherfucker! As we speak, a cloud of toxic gas is now making its way across Raxias. Now, Raxias has a way to defend against such things. The buildings, they seal themselves. I don't imagine you have that same protection up in the mountains. And that is of course where this cloud of poisonous gas is headed next. I'm no expert, but I don't think Earthling's fair very well against clouds of toxic gas. You can try to run, of course, but I think you'll be surprised how fast this cloud's going to travel. Most of you will be dead by morning. But you do seem to be quite an industrious bunch up there, so just in case I miss a few of you, I will be sending a cleanup crew to check and make sure all the good work's been done. Cleanup crew? They're called Eels. I can't wait for you to meet them. Oh no. Lath! I heard! What is he talking about? Lath! We're in for a really long night. 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Earthwitch, Leah Prime, Gregory Santoro, Mothmal, Not the Funky Fried Chicken, Robert Drapiza, Dimension Spanning, Time Traveling Little Guy, Iono, Jonathan Tolbert, Mr. Put It On 06, Hedgehog Hen, Jackson Bell, Katie Chambers, Jay the Podcast Lover, Dick Rickles, Chapter President, Staying Glad to Meet You, Malcolm Flynn, Samuel Lee, Joseph Tron Prime, Oh My God, I forgot to change my name from Nicholas Beckler to something more cheeky and fun, Arwen the Freer, Throat Goat 666, I Am Your Father, Addie Slosson, Inconceivable Kai, Red Brum 916, Nick Waycaster, Gotham Still Fucked Up, Batman Really Ain't Doing Shit When You Think About It, No Good Monk, Rye, Yes, Like the Bread, Sarmad Syed, Three Pandas in a Trench Coat Named Bethany, Johnald Grimpus, Matt Knight, Bouchegar, Gavin Mori, Daaamnitri, Andromeda, Steven the Choy, Brooke Shelton, Gloria's Authentic Earth Coffee, Gabriel T, Can Someone Find Me the Parmesan, The Treasure Trove of Troublesome Trolls, You Call Her Bethany, I Call Her Headfany, Cookie Neaboo, Axel Zapata, Siona the Goblin is Bringing Leaf a Laserspoon, Jason McDonald, Orianda, Bean Dino, Phillip Linnick, Hugh Jass, J2, Brian Montgomery, Artemis Record, Safa Alusi, Trev Brax, Gunner Tweedle, The Bard Without a Ballad or a Mallet, Nazo, Platform Jail Mechanism Burn Museum Theorist, Hold Please, KKow, Impress Squishy Face of Greater Catochia, Anna Garcia, Goblin King, Rays of Noop, Kiki's Best Friend Would Like to Go to Breakfast, Bubberduckle, Yegor Loose, Terry Cads, Leaf Tracks, The Rise of Leaf, Chapter 1, Lofetrack's Retires, The Prodigal Ilem, Catalyst for Chaos, Sculliver, Sam and Shane, Ahsoka likes hugs, Going Anonymous, V, Ma Dukes, US Marshal Stacey, Ooh, Chickadee, Dango Dale, Estee, Not the Website, At every moment in every corner of every possible world, There is always a way home and it's already found you. Jau Paulo Lemos, Odd Keep the Sentient Lighthouse, The Faceless Old Bethany Who Secretly Lives in Your Home, D'Shane, Tanya Fisher, Abelachian Death Queen, Zosaphir, Doggo of Doom, Burnt Barbecue Beef Brisket, It's official, they're called Fagronies, Kevin Winans, Marlon C, Just Wellmed, Madame Perrie, Cherish Hellfire's Hellish Chairfire, Lichen Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnesey West, Knox, Lisa Lu, Emmett Hale, The Triads' Baddest Goblin, Emery and Lanno, James Miles, Brown Coats Love the Diner, House Chaos and the Critter Cacophony, Max Nia and Ivans, Sixth, Sick, Sheik's, Sixth, Sheep's, Sick, Nope, nevermind, it's Marx, You people hate me. Minion Simone Meeby Davis, Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Misty Dawn Mitchell Jr. Guy A Turtle, Wayne Barahona, Jesse The Dragonrider, We Will Not Rest Until Puerto Rico and Palestine Are Free, Futo Crow, Nissy's Mom, PokeSplort, Whiskey Rebellion and Jen Riots, Interdimensional Detective Agency, Zephyr Vitriol, Altrion, Slim Nandi, Goth Leif, Jen and Britt, Adriana Bartolomucci, Jonah Is Gay, The Midnight Ashes, Hornetti, Ballion Fair, The Night of Silver Flames, Hood's Pocket Protector, Listening to Ava Sing Poisoning Pigeons in the Park, Made by Shitty Day, Instantly Better, Valkyrie Storm, Patricia Who's Always Late but Somehow On Time, DC Squirrel, Honey Cooper, Kyle V, Interstellar Highwomen, Shelly Act on the Verge, Gale Friend, Rubber Cake, Clover the Clown, The Sparky Tech, Prop the Crocogator, Ringleader Volt, Jazz Punker, Captain Tightpants in the Companion, Agent Night Breakfast, Braddy for Mission Control, Renee N, Katarina De La Playa, R.I.P. Eloise Waffles, The Fluff Wrangler, A.K.A. The Space Druid, Phantom Land TTRPG Dice, Curiouser K8, Your Local Blacksmith, Ash Montgomery, The Boggiest of Birches, Jason HVAC Tech for the Diners Deep Freeze, SK Phoenix, Glitch the Gamer Error, Zephyr the Wefer Montgomery Foxworth, Maryface, Luan Cherry, Peppermint Pearl, The Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch, Nicole 6-4, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscalo, Full Beans, Glorious Forgotten Ford Vestiva, Brandon Wright, Night Breakfast at the Midnight Cauldron, Force for Good-ish, Mark Scott, Rosie Mum, DeJuda, Slater Morales, Intergalactic Frylord, Gravity's Optional, but Fries Aren't, CJ's The Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's, Angel Vasquez, Evil the Cat, Steven Raymer, Jay Karp Fishman, The Great Guvelino, Oxygen, Save the Mungos, Joji the Birdwatcher, A Flock of Grey Horses from the Top of a Sycamore, Lilac Borchella, Rachel Crempa with Special Thanks to my best friend Lizzie and my husband Steve, Don't worry about the order, honey. Temporal Hash Brown, Diane Brown, Dr. Flaw once teed it to return his voicemails, Captain No Sleep, Jamie Rainey, The Slim Reaper, Ruben Eden, Smedley Peacenodgrass the Third, but please, Comey Smeddy, The Shreve Portbow Hannons, CC The Umbrella Mage, Bradbury's Sasquatch, Loads Chekov's Gun and Rides to Join Bethany's Army, Din, Cosmic Catch-Up, Lack of Lifestyle, August the Shmoggest and Haasfest, Moussey, Hood's Pocket Gear and Sprocket Local Repair Cafe, Crafty Introvert, The, Postmaster General Kwan sent me, Mad Maddox, Blake Busmagian, Knitwit 14, Royaled way too harshly, DJ Johnny B, The Clopman Diamond, Marco Montano, No Longer Doing a Bit, Shiny Fields, Adam Tachek, Christopher Wendell, Unproductive Banana, Pulseifer the Paulist of Paulism, Zombie Spider-Man, The Sorcerer Sanguine, Says Brain Demons is an anagram of Brandon is me, Bex 823, Ante Cryptid, Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin in the Hot Seat, Mime Ninja's Ninja Mime, Master Oogway, Barry, Dillie is Dallying, Podcast Junkies Photoshop Crashes, Eight Hours Gone, Fue Tile Screaming at the Ocean, Fox Hatlin, Dylan Caroni, Pedro Vibristo, Slider, Malachi, Julian Rhodes, Maple Emily, the Gayest Library Janitor in Indiana, Learn How to be Calm in Heart Stumbly, I'll be waiting, Physic the Good Bush, Definitely not one of the bad bushes, Funding the Rebel Bethanese to overthrow the duly elected Bethanese, Hexadecimal Bethanese is non-binary, Vapis 10's Big Black Gaping Hole, The Planet Goobrius wants to know if Croc is a Crocodile or a proper Gator, Bruce, Jessica Gigoma, Toracle, Jenny the Bear, Bellringer, Sardine Thorn, Treach, Mr. Flipple is very cross, Hote Potato, Dr. Mojo postulates the End List endlessly splintering off as Bethany and BertBerts caboose until its End Lists all the way down, Dave and Buster's server manager ready to serve all the Bethanese and Monte Christos, Blind Time Traveler Convention Date, LA Woman the Phoenix Rising, New Name, God? No, not him, Jeff Andrew? Sure, Jeff Andrew, Miss Luan a British Woman with cute dogs, Cuppa Noodles, Schmizzy Two Shoes, Moona Nova, Nicholas Griffith, Matt Grigsby, Justin Smallen, Riku31, Craig Dunn D, New Type Without a Gundam, Astral Sea, Ikelme Pickle Me Tickle Me Two, Witch Loud the Cartoonist, Guy with the Chops, Sam, Mitchell Yee, Bagelknife, Emelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan Kay, Devin7777 has been my fave verbal stim for months. Nate, Forklift lifts forks for Cliff, Vince M, Chip, Radio Free, Relia, Violin Loves Midi, Brian Passley, Suba Wassa, Grena, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Shiny, Let's Be Bad Guys. Our overhead is way too high with all of these names, and please make sure to turn in all your receipts, love Josh for my counting. Satsuma, Silius Goose, Dr. Jones, Icy Axe, Coach Shane of Toad Sucks Central, Go Cranes, Sky, Coal Arthur, Lego Quassan, Cassad, Narwin Mergler, you've all been assigned to write a four page essay on your favorite arthropod. It will be 50% of your grade. Joe Kappa, Dogma Mom, Wee Bitch Hoppin' Broccoli, Icy Fish, the hacker known as Ivy DeBerb, Blue Tune, a feisty ass chickadee, Poultry Landmine, the scrappy poet, Jenny the Cryptid Paladin, Maverick Artist, shit, it was a mimic, Basil and their T, waiting to gossip with David, Ainsley, a-y-y-y-y, Angnor, ATB, Kiwi Lovely Bead, Zoe, Keshe the Goblin, Professor F. Dr. Professor Reverend Bethany Wethany, Lethany, Wuffy McFluffenburger, M.D.P.H.D. Esquire, and that's not pretentious at all, Ahem, is looking for a cure to the Bethany Mutation that the Society of Bethanies began the war with so many years ago. Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson, Twote, still trapped, but I've stopped asking why, the freezer is, I am, we chill. Son of Defarge, Whisko Teach, Scott A. Snellgrove, Give Pease a Chance, Samalemma Ding Dong, Behold Lady Sarah Purr Whiskerveil, Countess of Wood Hollow, Mistress of the Whispering Pines, and Beloved by all creatures small and opinionated. Ricardo Galamba, Kari's Crafty Cloaking Devices, LLC, Hashtag Weevem of Gossamer, Penny the Wonder Dog, and Bucky Von Buckbuck, Cherry Applebee, Medium Rare Extra Toasted Bun, Saucy Caesar, Belt, Aspen as a Verge Fanboy, McJ67, Ava's favorite My Little Pony Pencil, wants Joe to slap into a snim, Jim. Mr. and Mrs. Drifter, Representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time Chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries, Lord Entropy, Boc Boc Motherfucker, The Faye Wanderer, Everybody's Favorite Clown, Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Psycho Queen, Kosher Steak, Gabriel Strife is brought to you by Charlotte Brown, Gary Guy Gax, and the Number 42, Flo Rida, Alyssa Shinypants, Gondor Calls for Aid, Muscles Fatits, Arnold Rumspringer, The Demise of the Temple of Bethany's, Allen Berglund says Hi Mom, Jay, Kitty McSkull, Raven Stromdans, Hapless Novelist Passenger, of the dimensionally impermanent and temporally incontinent Bookshop Cafe, The Wild-Eyed Prophet, Tessa Craig, Perfectly Personalized Disaster, Richard Schofeld, Jim Turner, Lux Luminos, Javi D'Anero, Big Chunk, Gideads, Sasha, the Being of Chaos, is chilling and eating pine cones with Bethany and the Mungo. Boom Boom's Wooden Leg, Will the Real Muad'Dib please stand up? Gillian C, Udon 96, Benjamin Not Franklin, Tracy Boy, Leia Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table? A singular night bird, Bethany in a green field, I am the lizard frantically firing flichette guns. A-E-I-O-U-Y-N-W Bumblefay, Mr. Epsilon, The Mothman, Long-Haired Matt, DJ, Lenny Harris, Robert W, Breelsabub, Cresemira, Jessel Lahren, Mayday Hoops, The Bean Wizard, Myth and Stitch Embroidery, Loves the Muckle Wains, Lulu Louise, Doolio, The Brew Crew Family, Bert Ruba, Your Most Benevolent Lord and Master of the Multiverse, Jeffrey George, Exquisite Wimsy, Ellie, Don't Tariff Me Bro, Oopsie, Evelyn, The Wizard Mooses Hold Out Their Cat For You To Pet, Grim Lore, Existential Pancakes, Jenny Waboom, Errant Popsicle Stick, M. Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Jack Spiders Mom, Bubble Butt Bethany Has Banana Breath, Lama Fresh, Jare the Benevolent Destroyer, Valtiel Heller, Sad Little Earth Monkey, Revan the Redbeard Wizard, Bert Bert and the Funky Bunch, Korora the Twelfth, Bethany II, Electric Boogaloo, Welcome to the Quan Pound, Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen, If Mr. Muccasio Kaiserschnetzel caught an owl after dark, would he be a midnight birder? The Wolves in the Deep Free Say, Ah Wooo! Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moons Number Two Fans, Simpson, Alice Lewis, Simply Amy Sue, I Pushed Her Because Joe Said So, Even Older Liz, McBear Cat, Grack Penfeather, Citykin Druidic Scientist, Astro, Your Friendly Neighborhood Android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Racy, The Midnight Missionary, Out There Somewhere Looking For You, Rotten Ronnie, Sleeps in Grandma Panties, Skawonky! Artist Dragonborn, Bigby Garage, Bill Zanganolester, Joaquin Jimenez, Big MF Juice, The S.I.P, Muffins, Space Wives Are Officially Verge and D-Drop, Chad Hadder Cosmic Tea Maker of the Triads Captain Jack Harkness, Once Peter The Robot, Tell Your Cat, I Said Banana Manaze, A Corgi Called Kibble, Cuddly Kraken, Sarge The Bard, Seminity, LL Cool Mint Jams, Travis Roberticus, The Other Original Caitlyn, Ken Daddy, The Jaded Umbra Get Slightly Less Jaded As Peace Once Again Returns To The Land, Lea Izzotti, Millie Was Taken, Dead To Me 86, Bee Camp, Shan Man Karma Karma Chameleon, Ken Rand Says Hello, Zoe In Her Army Of Mice, Briar Longlost, Daniel, Sammy The Baby Seal, Trixie Bell Dubois, Dr. Boudiologist The Glutes Doctor, The Hood's Pocket Police Are Asking For Public Tips About Their Stolen Station Toilet, Currently They Have Nothing To Go On. Thank You For Pressing Too! Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canada In Request Will Be Processed In The Order In Which It Was Received. Queen Surly Jess, R.I.P Lance McClain You Would Have Loved Night Burger, Adam Toclove, Dr. Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat The Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Aros De God, The Size 2 Fish You've Been Looking For, Iokai, Borscha, Spiders Are Cuddly, The Main Immortal Penball Sounds In The Diner, Chiel, Neil, Sin City Scuba Steve, Polywog, Makayla White, Elena Pickle, Wilbur Winklewright, Wristwatch Wrangler Of West Worcestershire, Finally Spots Red Nell As The Carnage Clears, Professor Thaddeus Snookums The Eighth, Mr. Grinn, Glenn Petrovsky This Moment Of Silent So Joke And Catches Breath Is Brought To You By Rick Tyler, Elizabeth Hammond, CheapCon, The Real CheapCon Coming To You From The Frozen Midwest Wastelands Except No Imitations, SteamVision Conductor Of The Interdimensional Time Spanning Hype Train, Dave Herald, Wisecube, Dirty Diaper Fussbutt And The Piggy Runt, BroMine Pronounced Bro, Mine, Main Humdinga, Mother Of Pearl, Fiona Now Owns Leafs 18-Inch Peter, Sealface, Rigor Mortis, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Coilane, Trebeck's Reject, Prophet Of The God Of The Mucklewains, Darth Ox, Michelle K Comes In Peace, Aaron Arnold, Boyo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo As In Boyngy, Mamamandre B. Ross And Sluntmaster J, Alpaca Lips, I'll Take One Butter And Breon Rye, Please, Elliot Paints, Undedikira, The Lord Reverend, Ryan, Thomas' 10-10-Eber's Tans Taffel Tibbers Treading Treacherously Tantamout, To Telling Totalitarian Trop Termination Tales, The Love Of The Lara Lovely, Keith Gamgee, Samwise's Flamin' Cousin, Daniel, Jeremy The Ruler, Goatsy, Charles Robert Darwin, The Third Esquire Phd, Jacob Mitchell, Swooning For Verge, Zeke In The Box, Stevie Crow Hill, How To Get Jack From John, The Adventures Of Magpie And Brown Bear, Scrubs, Becky, Just Some Guy From Adelite, Rhyan, Remy, The Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo The Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, The German Short Hair Pointer From Nashville, Wants To Tell His Mom Maddie That He Says, Woof! Whiskered, Any Two Hands For The Double High Five, Marissa The Ghost, Local Snowplows In Your Area Are Dying To Meet You, Brotherford B. Chesterfield And His Dapper Companion Winchester, Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, Old Kelsey No Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame, We Serve Everyone Eventually, Sasha, Beth And Alan Van Gillis, Langston North, Slyfox, A.K.A. Brer Rabbit, Panst Darts Champion, The Constantly Lost Geographer, Timothy Aotis, Chance Wants You To Know, He Cares, Wolf Stark, Elliot, Hobbs Decoe, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yen, Mubi The Golden Calf, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry The Pirate, Erin Elizabeth, K. Narcotics, Solomon Price, A Daydream You Won't Escape, Bubba 485, A.K.A. Shemelbach The Christmas Whale, Kaiju Somelier, Stella Corvus, Jesus Garcia, JP The IT Guy, Candyman Fight, John Peters, You Know The Farmer? Barkley On The Holodeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, Oh Majus, Raven The Dreamer, T.K. Turtle King, Mike M, Space-Based Lasers, Captain B, and Lady G With Their Swabs, Marla Madame Lotus Still Especially Loves Finley, Mr. Steamwave, My Friend The Rhino Reminds You It Takes Strength To Be Gentle And Kind. Oop, Challenge! Dream Founder, I'm Yohokel Barrett, Elizabeth T, Tye Tye The Wonder Hamster, and Her Dear Darling Duke, Grandpa Gus, Boom Bastacle Kimlicker, Coco Yumi Took Her Painted Ponies To A Show And Won Three Awards, Hugamuffin, Big Foot Of Doom, D.L. Annie Atkins, A Bounty Hunter Called The Crandy Man, Garo, Our Cat Said To Tell You, Meow! Yaboi Of Indeterminate Origin, Benjamin Ortiz, Mr. Frog President, Pop Rock Quicksand, It's The Benny Yappers, Benny Yappin' Birthday! Mr. Squizzle Scizzle, Whizzle, Fizzle, The Nothing Good Happens To You Today, Yes You, Nia Venturi, Michelle Meyers, Michelle Hopper, Drinkspiller, Martin Dears, Luca Vecchito, Lauren Mayer, Kevin Dottry, Keleti Arena, Justin Wiley, Josie Jones, Glenn Morris, Fridge Pickle, Fall Of The Berlin Wallaby, Lizard Lee, Elijah Sharp, Donald Schingler, The Beloved Yet Borderline Inappropriate Empire Of Dr. Thunderbot and Lady Christabel, Boots Gooden-Dave, Entropy Eigenbasis, Daniel Stavey, Dan Gentry, D. Flower, Britt Littlefair, Brett Zimmerman, Anthony Lakey, Andrea Crowther, Ali Upsy Not To Be Confused With Upsy, Lane Kiffin Is A Ho, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star Joshua Damien and Sentinel Of The Star System, Claude DeClaude, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chis Alfreds The Bullheaded Professor, Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelli, Jonathan Kay, Pearl Null, Another Monster, Pettibite Avatar, Tugwin The Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs1012, Scotty Oats, Byrotron 95, Happy 13th Birthday, Danny. Dance Break! Spiky, The Bracken System In Its Home World, Wren, Simply Tony It Will Always Be Findly's Work Hole To Me, If You Know You Know, Gabriel Castillon Whom, What, When, Where, And Why Is What All The Grownies Say While Listening To Midnight Burger Nico Tagayo Goes Great On Midnight Burgers A Drunk Man A Drunk Man A Drunk Man Bio Goes Great On Midnight Burgers A Drunk Majr and A Trappy's Artist Walk into Connie's Bar Retorted SURPARTE ANIMAL Byrothrrrrrr The Shreve pulled the motherfucking dragons. Ooloy Jackal. Are you sure you Mike Robb the Nancy Sinatra? Court need to leave it alone if you want to live. Must be a witch, cat with a K, Miss Shan Frizzle, mythogrone has a first name, Stamperdstine, El Moustachio, Lucifer Hezekyle, Lachihuahua Brava, Adeline Peetz, CeCe Carousel, Court the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's mom's a milf. Scout and Fox Gloves says the floor is lava. Red Nail hiding in a crowd of Bethanese to avoid capture by Wiley Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire, Kurt Aumsky, Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulcet D'Letsche Studios presents Under the Truscan Sun. Get out of my booth, bug, propagator, I hardly know her. Sad, angry crab man, Chuck McFinley, Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter, Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon and a Coldrin of Bats, Ben Carlisle, Flat Steve's Love for Grand Theft, Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia, The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Starblaze Burnbright, Imzuki Okie, Spotted Rhino and Her Hand Me Down Frogs, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kai Dallow Headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's Wife, Alexander the Boss, Skrizels, Thwap, kitty kitty kitty, the Firekeeper, The End is Nigh, Jeremiah the Cancelled, Librarian Alex, Spike and Faye, Speedy McSpeedy, Eli, Wolf, Brandy Gunter, Monty Becky is owned by five rescue cats, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade Shortsword, Forget Normal, A Damm! CJ Johnson, A Dragon Sitting on a Tord of Dice, Wendell Whitaker, Chumbo Wumbo, Fikachu, Smivey, Globed Rulette, Andrew Fuller, Bon Mihung, The Soup Witch, Fetishini Alfredo, Cowboy and Sasquatch, Hunts the Bethanese, Pebbles, VV, Effie Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip Your Dad is Not Your Dad, Nick Borow, Midnight Plumber, His Royal Highness, Mr. Hamilton Underfoot Kitty, The First and Accomplice, Princess Penelope, The Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry, Our Ass is in the Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Slave of Bahamut, Omi Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Cat Holtz, Calartin the Tired, The True Megamike, Fred and George, LaVinia, Avamatics Jr., Liza Worth, Cass Williams, Christie, Yeet Maboy, 46 Toolshed 2 and El-Marie Catastrophe, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Definitely Not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E. Melt, Missed Everyone, A Round of Yorkes on the House, Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr. Nassos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kuboko Dunnord, Lil Kev, Cozumine, Theodrax, Joey B, Lucas Barting, Got His Dad to Listen to Midnight Burger, Little Debbie Cupcake, Terrin Says Hey, Oreos are Rabbit, Sandalwood Mountain, Offers Peace for Your Soul, Whimsical Fuckery, Megan with an H, Hey, It's Warranty Lady, Look, I've been thinking, maybe it'd be best if we, you know, saw other people for a bit, I need more. Patricia the Time Lord, Keshack the Lizard Wizard, Cast Jelly Bones, Mango Connoisseur, Pretty Bug and The Quirky Jester, The Big Moose is Loose Aboot, The Ooze, That Old Glory Cole, Janelle Mjønne's Cat Butler, Oisin Lu, Alex Berry, Andrew Oakden, Asymmetrical Exile, Churro Kat the Sun God, Eliza Travels the Universe, Lindsay Bowen the Goddamn Podcast Lawyer, Alex Spence, Dr. D Birdclossed Weather, and Mrs. Dubop to Way Birdclossed Weather, want to say hello to the whole Sweather family. I lost my galaxy britches in a game of pants darts, Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Dirkadub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, most likely Cass, James Harlow is still sad about missing Burger Con, Jasmine James, Dr. Caberand also known as Omni, thanks Waffle Chateau, Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Zephyr and the Witchesden, Anatha Zendria, Jennifer Calkins, Midday Burger, Don Parks, Throat Goat 666, oh my God, my dad found out about my Patreon name, Princess Leia, Fish in a Bag, September previously observed in the pattern, Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubinesque parent, Stuck in a pit of Skittles, Sea Squatch, Deflator Mouse, Tony Piacarski, Adrian R, The Devil from Table 12, Javier, Crazy Thadley, Crimulus is just happy to be here, The Twisted Twigster, Real Housewives of Seegius, Faye Queen, Oop-Schnart, The Probability Demolition Expert, Showtime, For My Mother, CCTXGirl6823, Waiting on the Diner, Nicole Studiozo. All of my planes are shovels. K. The Flying Penguin would like everyone to know that Penguins are the best. Would like everyone to know that penguins are not native to Greenland. No, not even flying ones. Truck Stop Sandwich, Indigo Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Malma, Wandering Biscuit, Castriff, Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro MG, NightScript, Widget the World Watcher wearing a waistcoat and wig, Lena Banana Meatball, Lena Banana Meatball, Uhtred and Rose's Viking Void Vitals, fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism. Yeah, not sure what I'm doing. River Brown, Senior Deuce, Scullacy, Warped Rider, Tim Nacey, Ruben Clamzo, Turwin, Hugh the Mini-Mongo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skalbulb, Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy Supreme and Queen Lancaster, Bolivar Snag Nasty, The One True Cheap Con, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck. Ho-ho, my mama. Glorbenar 7 now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Deuzer now identifies as Roman Durge, the other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May. Minsky Enterprises is excited to announce that Cone of Silence Consultants, LLC, has been named its exclusive provider of logistics services. Silly Willy Bubble Butt, Sierra Not From Arkansas. Zee-go! Ebenezer Boo, Caleb Toobiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Flu Flust in Time, Potion Maestro, Nebula Nell, Regulators, Mount Up, Wandering Scholar, Pringle Over Coffee, Mad Yogi Eileen, Cat Named M, Petito Pato, Palace, Big Mo, Demonic Norwhal 8, I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed. I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift, The Stone Fox. Trisha Schaeffer says, ew, David, that is a nada taco. Sylvia, Jucitin, Papitos, rawr, Hauer. Henry the Goose, Jennifer Baumher, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, I am a bomb until I think of something better to do. Ebber, Ritwards, Hot Shot Huntly, Momo's Mama, Space Mormon says what? Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle, Caitlyn, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Mr. Trigvie, Printing with Cats, Khaleesi Del Mar, Vaughn Vega, Dixie Dina, 7000 Possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow's Bass Pony, Revive, Debbie E., Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Owo, Dusty Ventures, and his pilot, Uzi, Drifting Through Space, Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Line Cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, The Gabbyist Painter and Her Bird of Fire, Wondering Wenjo, Painted Oni, Kudel, Pharrell, Emily with Two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblik the Third, Kerplunk Kerplunk, whoops, where's my Thribble? Jackie Wavelet, Yeoi Gagarin, Dee Greitzler, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Skorakio, Genuine Jacob, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Poovie Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, Stee Lo, Bumbling Lilyby, Buffy's Daughter, A quick pause so Joe can sit from his tiny teacup. You should get like a semivar, right? You remember those from like a check off play, like it's condensed hot tea. Panda, Curtis Lillig, Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stoles, Daylen Y, Shadow Rapture, yet another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Lama, Our Craft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, The Ornamental Hermit, Jay to the Lin, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Impson, What the Hell, Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina. Just Rachel, Waffles, Waffles, Waffles, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava's Cigarette Ash, Hugh Biftet, A Zeus, Anaphylaxis, Scav with Comtax, The Shape Shifting Sad Girl, and her girlfriend, say, Joe, you've done it again. Pippa Skin and Pippipond, Sarah Nicole, The Kells Fights with the Bethanese, Angry Leafs, Lasersaw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Source Decay, Descendant of the Spweather Catfish Whisperer, Vagabond Mary, Randy's Amigo, Bold Mouse, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo, Norman, Nicole, Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake, Max Danger's, Security Chief Shatsy, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nea Nix Reno, Frankenator, Nortelbash, Jordan, R1XBalasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hafeweisen, Monica and Mason K. In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of James as a trifecta of Tony's, one of whom still wants to be late, but sadly, no Bethanese. Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, Arianne Cantmanage Normal, Ryan Burnett, The Joyful Nylist, Dr. Dr. B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, growing into my farm boots, Superbeth Becomes an RN, alongside my bootstup farm friend, Geneva Boss, Arkansen, not Arkansawyer, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Gnomes, the Rat Queen Evelyn, Great Launch Conversation, Captain Scott, Letty Lou. He was a shifty one that Nick Howard. Kinger was here, Ababe Ray Winlon Jr., Bebop Bdabadoo Wop, Warped Echoes, Slabs McTerps, Mr. Boston Leather 2003, Jeremiah Franco, Justin the Nick of Time, Gothic Rainbow, Zoe Made It, Cody McClure, McHadley, Eternal Companion, Maxime Lizzote, Jingleoss, Eris, Goddess of Nobody, Hazmatilda, Ditsy Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church, I Am a Laif on the Wind, Static Ego, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Lolly, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B, Nabi, your friendly neighborhood pathologist, going to be lit, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, externally screaming, but Bethany, I Made Biscuits, Ski Bo and Fuzzle McBumpernitz, Nealix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Senatus Teleporting, BRB. The Shanes are not organized enough for a war, but there is a growing number of us and it is concerning. Definitely not an android, seriously, I'm not. The Wondering Welshman, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shai Sparrows, BLTN, the Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana, Bobana, V5ofana, Queen Aubrey and Drake, Drake May, May Lover, Tequila Mockingbird, Snuffle Up a Goose, Dameron the Space Goblin, Iso Pale, Exquisite Whimsy, I Am Lord Zoltan, Hemi Roar, Pocket Ghost Max, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather wonder if Derrick Adair will join. My cat's name is Beef, Kiddikate, Kitchercolonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmemeli, Work from Elvis, Boho Go Bye Bye for Jojo Pogo, that's a no go, bro. Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Rudle, Kyle Perino, A.K. Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi, The Wondering Mermaid would like you to know that the Little Mermaid and the Creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story. Lil Stevy Pie, Green Mountain Hermit, Deaf Allergic to Bethany Stew, Two Polar Cat, Carl the Teller of Dad Jokes, Skylab's Multidimensional, Multiphazic, Undergalactic Quantum Cyberverse, Verde Sol, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Young and Mystic Hippie, Unforcable, Local Marsh Hag, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Vacans, Pyros Calling, The Wizard's Supercalifragilistic Expeialidocious, and Introducing Reese C. Pontiff as the 36th Doctor. Too many jams! Pamela Rose El Chiera, then Stina says, Thud Tweed, Enigmatic Catbird, Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrel, Luminous Elk, Rodean Caution, Love is for the Nierdze, Kaz Hernandez, Captain Crash on the Surviving Crew, It's just Tyson now. Casper needs all the hugs, but Joe needs an O2 tank. Quote says, Joe is the writer's room. Daniel Garland, Awkward Heretic, Devin7777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Norderly Kay, Lost Bassan, You Know the Moon Prison outside the Triad, Kim Cell, Silly Goose Hong Hong, Ad Matha, Astro Unit, Ghost Saber Wolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Tatars, Precious, It's just Steve. Rupal Atreides, Mirtender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Diedra, Mike Whiskey, and your friend Frosty, No Seguaro. Ben Barr, Stand Clear of the Closing Doors, please. Beastly Death, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wassanasen, Vyrestria, Theosis the Theologian-ish, Why is my daughter so feral? Send help! Fernwood Gal, Nelly G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini Sky, Phantom's Moms, Callison, Horned Swaglan Daniel Arthur, It's a, it's a fucking dog rapture. King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Windchimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborn Welsh, Fireball XL5, McKinsey Duna, Alexca Habaniera, Code Stranger, One Bet De Bet, Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Matt N, Alfie Revenurum, Momo Nakiki, Frelp, Im Lin, Feed Me Fish, J.R.R. on SFP, Lahari, J.Spark, Lucid Harbor, Little Mira Leopard Paws, Diet Night, Marz Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts McGorts, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B, Hold It Now, Hit It, Had It, Head It, Hot It, Hud It, Bradley Ashby, Peter, William Dyer, Vicki Abert, Brad Menir, Jane, Hanna Dale, Phantom Zone, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Kill Shot Betty and her Steel-Eyed Bo, Jackie Lowey, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Lily the Planetary Brain, Cray's Bear, Dr. Lattice Trash Angel Action Figures Recalled after Flared Bass Causes Moral Panic, Witchcraft as the Crafty Lizard Doing Today, Noble Barrel, Andy Croft, Bippity Boppity Boom, Megan the Meg Young, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Rinn, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Aronetta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, That Homeless Guy Who Saw the Diner Disappear From Rogers and Gave Up Booze, Mary Kirby, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Bella Donna, first of her name, Crittle, Twilio, Heidelberg, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vincates, McCloomp, Azana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Dome Age, Abroad's Finest, Garin Elizondo, To My Little, You'll Always Be My Good Girl, You Took a Piece of My Heart and Left a Paw-Print on My Soul, Til We Meet Again, Sir Shitz a Lot Strikes Again, Damn Animal, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruisin' B Anthony, Trick Says, Wheeeee, tibbled the first, Ellie Frog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titmitin's, Courtney the Frogologist, Courtney and, Corey and Stephanie say hello, the Fondtucky Wrangler, Scrambrew Lay, Yay, Aaron, The Singing Loon, Zuzana, Celeste Yos, I'm so Antigone-Fum, I'm Avel's Evil Twin Sister Bethany, Katie and Noah, Hendricks the Stink, The Amburgler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simione, Ashley Chapel People's, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Ted's, Corrine Sbrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzle Butt, K-Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuda, Eli the Electrician, Sunny D Anomaly, Charmé, K-On with Karma, Amanda Nock, The Wondrous Mathazophon, Hashtag Nisan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Inch Shuldigan, Rebecca Trossel, So Good, Many Names, God There Are, Chris from Tacoma, The Real Fairy Godmother, Sir Alphonse Suitperson, Night of Hood's Pocket, Polished pauldron's pacing pine paths, Protecting Pocket from Sneaky Skull Duggery, Mitzy Lou, Kelsey Home, Still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula, and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom. Amanda Marie Catherine, Damian the God damn Time Lawyer, Matt Mosby, St. Foo, Harry Fishnuts, AstronoWeeb, Mag Knows the Civil Nome, Welcome everybody, I'm Hydelon, and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger Emotional Support Group. Starlight, David Pirini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weaselaf, Virgo Aries Infinity, Best Buds, Danny and M, Charles Q. Choi, A Bug Named Nat, CeCe Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, All Coconator. Ron was here, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveire, often wronged Dan, Jess Gioia, Paul A. Johnson, Killer Odd, Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire has been secretly and poorly teaching his Dungeons and Dragons players Welsh, Creator 67, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark 11, Eric A. Rayborn, Maggie's Yarm, Stoo, Enthonomaly, Megan Mighty, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and LA, Anomalous Death to PSL Vandal, Fuck Ice, Captain Blep, Ryan, Evie Power, Terry, PJ Says What? Amelia Lucero at all, Fear Now Doesn't Polish the Shiny Melon, Blargo Blargo Blargo, The Jazz Man, Tonight at 11. L'Arrach the Barbarianess, Hicks Bezzie Mates, Zellis Pragma, Tuba Rick, It's Just Blake, Alice Malice Apologizes for forgetting to change their name for an entire year, but at least it was fun. Kelly Jane Danky, Erin the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, AKA Casper from Another Universe, Chattani Asherah, Lucrezia, Thornus Animator, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Eva, no, not that one, the one within, Grim Says Trans Rights Y'all, Zacky Knat, Underwater Corvid, Spizzarinctum, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Brune Mycelil, Grolix and Terabang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Coming Soon, Dances with Burritos, Guahton Loaded, Erin Mitchell, Lady Keanu Mison, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, JR the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Maloran, Sweet Michelle, Cara, Colmysen, Kalebree, Mel Monberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, Keak, Chara Keang, Daye Punglidha, Frick Frank Dupak, What The Chuck? Sonu Nassuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd VanVoris, Nea Deruso, Peachy Zatowici, Inky the Kraken, Azula the Brave and their ever faithful squire, Grabthar, Jen Extranius, Dancing Dog Dreams, Trinket Coralie and Existentially Exhausted Bean. 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