This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Load Boost by VB Health. Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, the volume, and the overall health of your semen. If you're already putting in the work, why not make your performance unforgettable? Made in the USA, NSF certified and produced in an FDA registered facility, thousands of guys across 50 states and 45 countries swear by Load Boost. If you want bigger finishes and better reviews from your audiences, if you want better taste, better mouthfeel, go to loadboost.com today and use code SAVAGE for 10% off, or click the link in this week's episode description. That's loadboost.com and use offer code SAVAGE. Welcome to After Action Report, where one adventurous soul comes on the show to tell you and me all about a new sexual adventure. Today I chat with Ember, a trans man with a big beard who threw his very first sex party. Ember, Ember, welcome to the show. Hi, thanks for having me. Before we get to the new thing you tried, the thing you wanted to talk with me about and share with my listeners, just tell us a little bit about you. Who is Ember? Where is Ember? With the way things are in the world right now, I always feel like I should ask, how is Ember? How are you? Well, I'm a 32-year-old trans guy. I'm a bisexual man. And how am I? Wow. I'm surviving the chaos by being a slut, basically. Whatever makes your time in this world bearable and however you connect with people right now, I think it's so important that you enjoy it and do it fully and not be paralyzed. Not let them win. Yes, I feel like maintaining my queer joy through all of this is important. So what is it that you tried? What did you want to tell us about? So I hosted my first sex party. Host, but you've attended others? Yes, I have attended. I'm still kind of newer to them in general the last few years I've been exploring, but yeah, this is my first time hosting. So tell us quickly before we get to your first time hosting, your first time attending, what got you to a sex party in the first place? My slutty phase really took off after like a big breakup with a long-term partner. I had some friends who ended up having a party and invited me and then since then I haven't stopped going. What is it about them that you enjoy? Because some people hear a sex party and they just, I don't know, they have kind of a heronimous Bosch painting in their heads or it sounds like it wouldn't be fun or it would induce a kind of performance anxiety, stage fright that they otherwise might not experience. So what is it about going to a sex party that first time that clicked for you? What is it that worked for you? I think a lot of it has to do with like, I was seeking exploration and finding it there and the group that I started out with, a lot of them were friends so I really trusted them and felt safe. But I definitely, even still, will have that kind of performance anxiety every now and then. Is there something a good sex party host does that helps people relax and enjoy themselves and feel, catch a groove? I love a good music choice, good set list to set the vibe. You know, have like a little room for like snacks and stuff so there's not so much pressure. People can go and just like socialize. I like having that. So you're a bi trans man. The sex parties that you've been to, queer, mixed, gay? Mostly been gay, yeah. And your reception at these parties has been affirming and positive? Yeah, it's been very good. I mean, I'm definitely privileged just in the way I look. You know, I've been on hormones for like 14 years now. So I've got like, you know, my big beard and I just, you know, I just look like a man. So that's, helps me. I guess I'm attractive to gay men. As many trans men are like most, all my trans male friends, swimming in dick, as one of them told me recently. So I think that's wonderful. All right. So tell me about, why did you decide to host one? I joined this like local nudist group and started going to their parties. And the host there, he's just got like one bedroom, you know, and it's like, he still manages to cram like 20 to 30 guys in there. And I'm like, okay, I've got two bedrooms in my apartment. Like I could pull this off too. You can get 60, 70 guys into two bedrooms. I don't. I'd breeze them up and stack them like cordwood. Right. So I ended up just posting in the group that I was hosting, when and where and a bunch of people. Immediately we're saying they'd go. So yeah, really just took off with little work from my end. I know that when Terry and I hosted dinner party or Christmas party, we get a kind of host anxiety where do we have enough food? And we end up going out and getting too much food. Was there any sex party host anxiety? Anything that you thought, oh, I need to get more of hand towels and to get more of lube. Did you have to run out before the party and grab anything? I didn't do any last minute runouts, but I did do a lot of prep beforehand. Like I've got like colored lighting to like set the vibe. I got new speakers to play music from in different rooms. But pretty much just told everyone, you know, bring your own towels, bring your own lube, bring your poppers, bring some snacks and drinks if you want. So a BYOP, bring your own poppers, BYOL, bring your own lube and BYOHT, bring your own hand towels. Not the people who use them mostly on their hands. So set the scene. It's the big night and are you worried people are going to show up? Were people fashionably late and you panicked for 15 minutes that it was going to be just you at the sex party? What was the night like? Actually people arrived like right on the dot, which I was kind of unprepared for. But it was nice. Like they offered to help with just like, you know, setting out drinks and things. But the first hour was kind of slow. I was like, isn't anyone going to get started? Like we're all just sitting around talking. So I think everyone was like, well, nervous and shy. I actually did. I had to kick off my own party. And how did it start? Did you grab somebody at random? I was walking in between the bedrooms. So like there's a hallway in between. And this one older daddy who had been kind of like eyeing me throughout the night. And I had also been eyeing him came up to me and I was like, Hey, you want to go in the bedroom? And he like at some point referred to him as self as daddy, which excited me because I'm very into that dynamic. So then I take him into one of the rooms and start sucking his dick. And then we start getting a crowd. That's what always makes me nervous about sex parties is the people gathering. I don't like to be looked at. This is why I like to hear about sex parties. I'm glad they happen for people who enjoy them, but I don't want to go. I don't want to go. Yeah. But no shade. Like I'm super into them and I have like friends and partners who love them and go to them. So this is a me problem, not a sex party problem. Back to people arriving on time and you feeling violated by that. I know that when we have a party and it's all gay guys coming, we kind of count on the fact that all gay guys are fashionably late. So we say everybody come in. Right. We're really not going to be ready till eight 30 or quarter to nine. And we have felt so wronged by gay guys who show up on time to the to the party because we're just not ready for people to be on time. So it sounds like you had a kind of similar experience when everyone showed up right on time. Yeah. I think when like three people arrived at the same time right on time and I was, I think I was still like brushing my teeth. I have a friend who has sex parties and he has what he calls designated fuckers where he has a couple of people who are already fucking at like when the party starts that people arrive to all people already having sex. The sex icebreaker. Did that occur to you? Is that something you might want to try next time? That's a good idea. No, I hadn't thought of that. I guess I didn't expect everyone to be like so hesitant to get started, but maybe because it was a new place and I'm kind of like newer in the group. Everyone was a little shy about it. I don't know. So tell us about you and the daddy got it on. You attracted a crowd. At what point did other people in the crowd start looking away from the two of you and looking toward each other? When did other people start breaking out into pairs or triads and getting it on? It was pretty soon. Like once we started, everyone kind of started can come again, watching and then they start touching each other and just really kicks off. And what kind of feedback did you get from your guests? Is this a thing where people send a thank you note afterwards? Thanks for the party. That was a good time. Yes, people did leave messages on the like invite page about having a good time. So that was nice to hear. What was the cleanup like? It really wasn't bad. I was surprised everyone was very well behaved. Like there was really wasn't much to clean up afterwards. Oh my God, whatever leave that would be my big nightmare is I'd have to boil my house afterwards. So would you do it again? Oh hell yeah. And any tips for people out there who are thinking of hosting their first sex party? Just find a good group of people. Like these people, a lot of these people I haven't really known long, but like they've all been like super welcoming to me and just in general just great vibes. So I think the question some people may have is how did you find this group of people in the first place? How did you end up on this list where you could invite these people that you've only just been getting to know to a sex party because somebody's out there like, oh, I might like to have a sex party. But who would I invite? It's not something you invite the neighbors. It's not something you invite the coworkers to. You'd need to invite kind of a self selected group of people who have already expressed some interest in sex parties. And how did you, how do you find those people? How did you find your way into this crowd or crew or group or onto this list? Yeah, I kind of lucked out really. So I'd been in this like local bear group for a while and it didn't get really much action. But then one of the guys who runs it posted and was like, I'm in this other group and I'm hosting this party if any of you are interested. So I hit him up and then he added me to the nudist group and then that's how I went to my first party with them. Okay, so let's leave the listeners with one mental image. Something you saw, something that happened, hottest moment, best, best in show, best in blow. Like just paint us a picture of like one scene at your first sex party that you observed that's kind of burned into your memory forever, the memory you'll treasure. Okay, well, there was this one guy who hadn't been with someone with a vagina before and he seemed like really hesitant. And he's like, yeah, I'll try and I was just like kind of giggling like, I know he's going to have a good time. And sure enough, like he's ended up coming inside me and then someone ended up coming on him who had been watching us. And that was really great. And then after him, I just like literally with my finger summoned another guy to come fuck me. It was great. Wow. Okay, that mental image will live in my head too. Ember, thank you so much for coming on After Action Report and sharing the story of your first time hosting a sex party in your two bedroom apartment, which has now seen some things. Yes, it has. Thank you for having me. Thank you, Ember, soon your parties, I'm sure, will be legendary. If you have a tell to tell that there's something you want to get legendary about here on After Action Report, write it down and send it to us at qatsavage.love. And we may have you on After Action Report as our next guest. Thank you for listening. We'll have a new After Action Report for you next Friday. After Action Report. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.
