Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Gutfeld

Leverleave it as Bronte by the Freedom from Religion Foundation. The First Amendment protects all of our rights to practice whatever faith we have or the right to not have any faith at all. And yet what we see is a lot of politicians trying to impose their worldview and their religion on everybody. That includes in the public schools. We've seen that in Louisiana with a law around school chaplains and putting 10 commandments in the classroom that's currently held up in court, though we have no idea what the Supreme Court will do. And so if you believe that people should be free to practice whatever religion they want without the government impinging on it, or free to not practice any religion at all, that's where the Freedom from Religion Foundation comes in to help do what a lot of lawmakers aren't, defending the First Amendment. They sue, they win, and they're making sure kids can focus on science class and that public schools are interned into religious Sunday schools. Go to ffrf.us slash school or text love it. That's L-O-V-E-T-T to 511-511. Visit ffrf at ffrf.us slash school or text L-O-V-E-T-T to 511-511. Because if I'm going to live by the 10 commandments, I'm going to do it on private property, not government property. That's where I do all my coveting, John. That's where I do all my... That's where you break all your other commandments? That's where I take the Lord's name in vain the most. Remember text love it to 511-511 or go to ffrf.us slash school or text L-O-V-E-T-T to 511-511 today. What's up Los Angeles? Welcome to Love It or Leave It live from Dynasty Typewriter. We have got a great show for you tonight. Kala Watkins is here. Colton Dunn is here. And they'll both ask two important questions. Was I in this and was it worth it? Then we'll all head to the wheel to pay tribute to some of our favorite stars of your. But first let's get into it. What a week. On Tuesday Donald Trump and his legal wife, Melania Trump, went across the pond to the world's second most famous island of pedophiles, Great Britain. Conversely, the worst man met with King Charles and Queen Camilla Windsor, where Melania debuted a brand new look. For those at home, she's wearing a big purple hat that often obscured her face completely on loan from the Queen's private spirit Halloween collection. It's obviously a joke. It's from Eileen Fisher's new collab with David Cronenberg. While at Windsor, Trump shared some poignant remarks at a state dinner. I believe we're the hottest country anywhere in the world. In fact, nobody's even questioning it, but we owe so much of that to you and the footing that you gave us when we started. King Charles spit out soup when he heard that. And he wasn't even having soup. That's just what's in British people's mouths. Trump also took the opportunity to celebrate some of the UK's best. I'll defend him when he's right, but would he do the same for me? And I know I'll get shit for this, but I'll say it. Tolkien in the same league as Shakespeare and Orwell? Oh, sure, you fucking dweeps. Oh, really? Oh, really? You think that's right? You think that's right? Shakespeare painted with the English language in ways previously unimaginable Orwell, with rigor and clarity helping us to understand the tools by which we obliterate our own humanity. And then you have Tolkien, who taught us that the little ones have hair on their feet and eat a lot of sandwiches, but in a language he made up. People that cancel my branded car. I hate the Lord of the Rings. Fucking dog shit. Ooh, ooh, ooh, the ring makes you invisible, but it also does other stuff. The little ones are sweet, the tall ones are kind of mean. Which are the Jews in Lord of the Rings? Richard Kipling was perfect, though, no notes. He was racist. He was... He wrote some really racist stuff, you know? And the original text of the Jungle Book is not so sweet. It wasn't just... It wasn't just the pomp and circumstance Trump enjoyed about monarchy. For back at home, his administration began to lay out how, in the wake of Charlie Kirk's gruesome murder, the government would begin a wider crackdown on dissent. Here was Stephen Miller earlier this week. With the God as my witness, we are going to use every resource we have at the Department of Justice, Homeland Security, and throughout this government to identify, disrupt, dismantle, and destroy these networks and make America safe again for the American people. It will happen, and we will do it in Charlie's name. As of this recording, we have seen no evidence to suggest that Kirk's murderer wasn't acting alone. According to the transcript, released as part of the investigation, he may have been motivated by his love for a trans person, which fills me with an incredible amount of rage, because whatever we learn in the coming days, this guy was too demented or stupid to appreciate the consequences of his actions, which orphaned two children and fueled a crackdown while making life worse for every trans person in America, not least of whom is the person he was texting and claiming to love, who, according to Utah's Republican governor, had no idea what Robinson was planning and has been cooperating fully. And I'll say here, as we learn more, we should not be the least bit reluctant to confront the truth of this killer's motivations. If the shooter wanted to kill Charlie Kirk for being right-wing or holding anti-trans views, then we should be as appalled and unabashed in acknowledging that as when political violence targets the left. We've seen voices on the right smear half the country for this killing, claiming this was a war of the left. But that is false, and to do anything other than scream from the rooftops that this person does not speak for us is to act just a little bit like you've internalized the rights logic. JD Vance went further in that conversation with Stephen Miller. So when you see someone celebrating Charlie's murder, call them out. In hell, call their employer. But JD, there are thousands of people making gross jokes on the internet all the time. There are too many. How can we make a difference? Ah, said Vance, picking up a starfish and getting it fired from its job as a community college administrator. And made a difference to this one. The number of people who understood that analogy and that story was not as many in the meeting as I wanted it to be. How many people know the starfish thing? That's so interesting. How many people know it? It's the back of your hand feel like you've heard it a million times. And how do you, you've never heard that before in your life. Wow. There's a mother and daughter walking down the shore and the mother and the daughter starts looking around like all these starfish are going to die. What are we going to do? We can't help them all. And the mother picks one up and throws it in the ocean and says, made a difference to that one. Huh. Right. Anyway, Attorney General Pam Bondi promised to do more than just get you fired for offensive comments on Katie Miller's podcast earlier this week. There's free speech and then there's hate speech. And there is no place, especially now, especially after what happened to Charlie in our society. We will absolutely target you, go after you. If you are targeting anyone with hate speech. Are you a black square on Instagram in June of 2020? Because I think you're caught up in the moment and not really helping anybody. Sure. Pam Bondi also said this to Fox News. And employers, you have an obligation to get rid of people. You need to look at people who are saying horrible things and they shouldn't be working with you. Businesses cannot discriminate. If you want to go in and print posters with Charlie's pictures on them for a vigil, you have to let them do that. We can prosecute you for that. No you can't. You have to print posters? What's next? Demanding a baker bake a cake with Charlie's picture on it. Demanding a baker bake a cake for your special event honoring Charlie Kirk. And then the baker objects because he's gay, but also way more extreme than Charlie Kirk ever was. Forcing this paranoid, anti-semitic, gay baker to bake a cake that doesn't agree with his politics. And there are these starfish all over the place. Bondi actually faced enough blowback for her comments from the right that she walked it back, restricting her view to hate speech that contains threats. The king baby wasn't so troubled. And what do you make of Pam Bondi saying she's going to go after hate speech? Is that, I mean, a lot of people, a lot of your allies say hate speech is free speech. She'll probably go after people like you because you treat me so unfairly. It's hate. You have a lot of hate in your heart. Maybe they'll come after ABC. Well, ABC paid me $16 million recently for a form of hate speech, right? Your company paid me $16 million for a form of hate speech. So maybe they'll have to go after you. Please no, take this instead, said Disney's panic lawyers, pushing a confused George Stephanopoulos out of a suburban. But cooler heads soon prevailed, like Missouri Senator Eric Schmidt. There can be no unity between good and evil. Somebody has to win this thing. And as a country, we have to absolutely reject it. And don't tell me it's both sides. This system lurks behind every radical leftist movement in our nation today. The George Soros Empire has financed a vast ecosystem of radicals. Yeah, here I am every week, unequivocally denouncing political violence and trying to find new and funny ways to describe Trump's hands for a pretty good audience of liberals who can barely organize the totes piling up in their closets, let alone a vast radical empire. We have never, none of us ever, ever needed more than two totes. Ever I cannot think of an occasion in my life where any of us have ever needed more than two totes. Because if you ever need three totes, you go to Duffel and tote. You never need more than two totes. And yet to get rid of a tote is unthinkable. And then it was Jimmy Kimmel's turn in the barrel. After the Kirk murder, Kimmel said this. And we're like the rest of the country. We're still trying to wrap our heads around the senseless murder of the popular podcaster and conservative activist Charlie Kirk yesterday, whose death has amplified our anger, our differences. And I've seen a lot of extraordinarily vile responses to this from both sides of the political spectrum. People are cheering this, which is something I won't ever understand. You get a job on a game show as the goofy everyman to make Ben Stein seem even weirder. Next thing you know, you're trying to definitely handle a political assassination on your late night comedy program. But he did it. But then on Monday, he said this. We had some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and do everything they can to score political points from it. Because there was evidence by Monday that the killer, while growing up in a Republican home, was not MAGA, conservatives already hostile toward Kimmel, let rip. On Wednesday, FCC chair and guy who would definitely shut down the containment grid and then blame the Ghostbusters for the consequences, Brendan Carr issued an ultimatum. But frankly, when you see stuff like this, I mean, look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. As a rule, if you are a federal regulator and you sound like Judge Doom holding a terrified shoe over a barrel of dip, you are not the hero in this story. And by the way, lest there be any doubt, Carr didn't leave it at that ominous but vague warning that he was using the leverage over licensing to threaten a specific show and a specific disfavored comedian. Here's what he said next. These companies can find ways to change conduct, to take action, frankly, on Kimmel. And he described what that work was because it included the possibility of fines or license revocation. Within hours, ABC announced that Jimmy Kimmel Live would be preempted indefinitely, suspending the show after Nextstar, owner of 28 ABC affiliates, said it wouldn't air Kimmel. It is with a heavy heart that I say, Jimmy Kimmel, welcome to podcasting. In a statement, Nextstar criticized Kimmel's comments and promised to replace the show with other programming in its ABC affiliated markets. Worth noting, Nextstar is currently pursuing a merger that requires approval by the FCC. Once they acquire their largest rival, Tegna, it will own 265 stations in 44 states which reaches 80% of American households. Look, sometimes a bad thing has to be done in the service of an even worse thing. Anyway, I'm looking forward to a whole bunch of Republican friendly comedies on ABC with new shows like The Big Bang Theory is Wrong, Maud Keeps the Baby, Fresh Off and Right Back on the Boat, Abbott Charter Elementary, Mork and Mindy and Ice, Perfect Strangers and Ice, and Roseanne. Plus, stay tuned for ABC's upcoming mini-series, Roots 2, Not So Bad. And hey, Brennan Carr, if it's cinema you're after, Disney has got you covered with live action Mulan but she's a girl the whole time and leaves the fighting to the men, starring Sidney Sweeney. Luca 2, Luca Reels and a Wife, Bambi from The Hunter's Point of View, and, and I'm excited for this one, White and Kanto. Trump groat about it on True Social, saying, Great news for America, the ratings challenge Jimmy Kimmel show is canceled, congratulations to ABC for finally having the courage to do what had to be done, Kimmel had zero talent and worse ratings than even Colbert, if that's even possible, that leaves Jimmy and Seth, two total losers on fake news NBC. Their ratings are also horrible, do it NBC, do it, like he's trying to get Don LaLangley to chug a beer. And then on the plane, he suggested to reporters that these companies lose their license for being, in his words, 97% against him. It is a classic in the genre of Trump, which is a bunch of these intellectuals, ambonies, conservatives who try to figure out a way to defend Trump's actions, spent the day explaining that this was really about Kimmel's inaccuracy and how it was actually a business decision and that while Carr's comments may have been in some way unwise or unhelpful, it was not a violation of the First Amendment because it was a decision by the affiliates. And then Trump is like, two down, two to go bitches, they're all against me, fuck them up, NBC. Sinclair Broadcasting Group also pulled Kimmel from their ABC stations, they demanded Kimmel apologize, they demanded he donate to Kirk's nonprofit Turning Point USA and announced that a Charlie Kirk in Memoriam Special will air during Kimmel's time slot on Friday. Wow, a special tribute on every station? They'll probably do this for me when I go, said Joe Biden. No one having the heart to tell them that they might not even break into commercial. And finally this week, a mom of two said a Guinness World Record for longest barefoot run on Lego bricks. When reached for comment, the woman said, ow, my feet. That's it. It's a dark week of news. You want a serious close? That's it. Rending on the fucking Lego joke. Deal with it. Coming up next, it's Michaela Watkins and Colton Dunn. Loviter Leave It is brought to you by IndieCloud. You made it through work traffic in the group chat that just won't quit. IndieCloud is how you make the rest of the night yours again. IndieCloud makes federally legal THC gummies, exotic flour, pre-rolls and vapes built for that sweet spot between I'm done and I'm actually fine. I'm excited to try IndieCloud. All their products are Farm Bill compliant. You know, over here at Crooked. That's where Stickless for the Farm Bill. We love that Farm Bill. 100% federally legal third party tested and shipped discreetly. No sketchy dispensary runs. In traffic, no mystery ingredients. 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Take their quick survey when you order to support this show and thank IndieCloud for making September feel a little lighter. As always, please enjoy responsibly. Huge thanks to IndieCloud for sponsoring today's episode. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage, two people. I'd like to see an esteem in Netflix drama about bisexual Texas socialites. It's Michaela Watkins and Colton Dunn. Hi, welcome. Good to see you. Hi. Hi. Hi. Thank you both for being here. Boy, it's lovely to see you. That's great to see you. Michaela. Yes. You can best to me that you look like the show Hunting Lives. Okay. You know what? That was setting confidence. So, like is an interesting word. What is it? Is it? Yeah. It's complicated. I have a complicated relationship with this show, but what I have to say about this show is this show got me thinking a lot about the show because everything else I don't want to think about. And so, I realized I need to defend this show. Not because I like it, but because I think it's worthy of defense. Interesting. So, it's more of an intellectual exercise. Yes. But you watch every episode. I sure did. It's been the butt of a lot of jokes. Because it stars women. Well, it stars women and they're talk about the wigs and it's women. It's MAGA women. It's MAGA women having sex with each other. And it's... Oh, now you're interested. Yeah, that's what these freaks are putting in their porn orb searches. Exactly. They're excited. Girl on girl MAGA. Girl on girl MAGA. Yeah, that's right. They're not laughing because... It's true. I nailed it. But anyway, so it stars Malin Ackerman who is a wonderful, wonderful human being, a great actress, a huge talent and just generally a light. You know when you see somebody and you're like, oh, I feel better. Everything's going to be fine. That's how it is to be around people from Sweden. Truly. And so, I'm watching this and I'm like, Malin kind of, you know, like in the best way, what were you thinking? And what I realized with each actress that was coming out. The show, okay, let's be honest, and I can say this to Malin, the show is trashy. It's trash. It's like it's brain candy. It's like what reality shows wish they were. This is you defending the show. Yeah, 100%. Because if I don't tell you the truth, you're going to not believe me later when I say the important thing, which is... A lesson for Democrats that we're living in the wreckage of, yep. Which is that these actors have been done real dirty by their networks because the acting climate right now is pretty, it's chilly. It's brisk. There's just not a ton of work right now. And so, it took like this show that was meant to be on Starz Network that... Raise your hand if you have a Starz subscription. Nobody. Now one. If you go there, they go on that show, they get paid a nice sum. They go to Georgia, they shoot this thing, they take their clothes off, they put a lot of bronzer on, and then they tell their agents, is this going to ruin my brand? I don't know if this is true. I've never discussed this with Malin, but this is what I say. I think about it a lot. This is what I'm thinking about. They say, oh, just do this job. Because honestly, in this climate, if you don't have Starz, you're never going to see it. A lot of people, like you know who I use as my beacon of like, should I do this? I always go back to... Oh, what's her name? From... Okay. She's... She was on West Wing. She's tall. Alison Janney. Thank you. Alison Janney is like the career that I want. She doesn't say no to anything. And you only remember the great stuff that she's done. And she's done a lot of like, really cruddy things, not in life and shows. And so I think like, okay, we're now in that time where you can do something stupid, nobody's going to see it, and you're fine. And then you can go back and do your Oscar stuff. So I think they got these actors, they put it on Starz. Starz at the very last minute says, we're not going to air this. So Netflix picks it up and it becomes the number one watched show. So now they're in bronzer in Georgia. That's their brand now. Yeah. It is. I don't know that I've ever met an actor who's like, God, I wish this wasn't the number one show. It'll be a first. It's exciting. I mean, maybe they wish they hadn't showed, you know, tatas, but whatever. Number one with tatas is better than number 30, no tatas. And listen, they've got number one tatas. Number one tatas. They are great. They are beautiful women and they're great actors. So I start watching this thing, you know, to support Malin, because I'm kind of curious because there's a lot of chatter about it and because I happen to be in Atlanta for two weeks in a hotel room with no friends. So I start watching it and I'm like, oh boy. And then the acting, you guys is good because they have really good actors. They have great actors. All the actresses on it are amazing. And I hope if any of them are listening to this, they stay listening to it long enough to know that they are so good. Like maybe you come for the pipe about it and the tatas, but you stay for the really quality acting with really questionable material. I mean, it seems like you found a trashy show that you love and you built a cathedral of ideas to sit inside it to appreciate the show. Is that bad? No, it's totally fine. I've come to you. So Colton, do you have a trashy show that you watch, a kind of brain escape show? Little Brain Rot. Yeah. Emma Cruises on YouTube. It's a cruise tube show and Emma goes on different cruises. She gives you her review. Emma who? This lady named Emma. She's a British lady and she's like, oh right, I'm on another cruise today. So I'm off, you know, on another holiday and she like kind of reviews the room and all that kind of stuff. But her big thing, her big thing is whether or not they have Diet Coke on the cruise. I love it. She's a big Diet Coke fan and here's the thing. And some of you guys, maybe some of you understand it. I didn't get a lot of people who watch it don't get it. She does not like fountain Diet Coke. She only wants Diet Coke from the bottle. Oh, well, like glass bottle. I mean, there's something about that. No, it's like plastic bottle. Dog shit. That's dog shit. There's an interesting thing about the fountain because the question is, do you want to fail while daring greatly or do you want to sit in the safety of the can? Because you know what you're going to get in the can. Found on a cruise. It's a ratio. It's luck and happens to happen. When you strike it right. Oh. Oh my God. That's so good. Sometimes if maybe that salt air gets somehow chemically dances with the syrup and the soda water part. And then you could have a fail or you could have victory. That's right. Taste of the ocean. It's like they say pizza in New York tastes better because of the water. Exactly. That's why the fountain drinks on a boat taste great. Because of the water. The distilled water that sits in there. In a giant steel tank in the bottom. In their lives. We all live in the blissful ignorance of what's going on inside of these soda guns. These soda guns. Like the number of people I see that like wouldn't eat a cookie off the floor that are like diet coke please and just trusting God and the end of that fucking nozzle. Are you insane? I mean you're trusting the one guy who finishes the night and takes it apart and is supposed to wipe it out nice and clean. Think about how you're supposed to take care of your coffee maker at home. And that's just for you by you. And maybe you do better than if it was your job. But you don't do great. You do good enough and you pray that it's fine. And if it starts to taste weird you fix it. You get different coffee. You never drank that coffee even once and it was the only only coffee you made for strangers. You can eat the cookie off the floor. The inversion is Guinness right. People don't want it in the can. They want it on tap. Oh yeah. You can get a bad batch though. I mean a bad nitrous amount. Guys, can we go back to Honduras? Yeah let's get back to it. I don't know what it is. Oh it's basically it's a reality show meets a soap opera. The drama with reality show vibes and pastes. It's got reality for everybody is, everybody is gorgeous. Everybody is hot. There's drama. Somebody's like, but it's all takes place in Texas. Here's the wig Melanacrimonware is at the beginning of the show. Okay. Now. Oh is this the show that I saw like the, I saw a hairstylist on social media who was upset about production leaving California because of how bad the wigs are. And they were like, if they would have just shot the show in LA the wigs would all be better. Wigs are expensive. So that's the first thing I'm going to say. Let's go to week number two. This budget is not good, but also. Goo. So here's the thing. If you know Melan and you know what her actual hair looks like, she would never pass. She would always look like a gorgeous, a gorgeous, sweetest supermodel. But here she has to be a kind of like Texas, a Texas girl knows how to shoot a gun and all that. And so I understand why they had to wig her. Now do you watch like Fox News? Do you see what the hair on there looks like? Like it does not look real. I think this is actually a wonderful rendition. Oh, that's an interesting take. It's meant to convey a certain inauthenticity and it's not something well done poorly. It's something poor done well. Colton. Yeah. You going to show me a wig? I didn't do wig. I don't have a wig on. I would have, but then I got a hair transplant and then I got two more. I'm at three. Was it wait? Wait, where else? No, no, all on the head. Oh, okay. Or did you mean for your friends? I got one and then they gave me two free. Look, I needed, I wanted a masculine asshole. I felt like I can't be walking around with this feminine. It's embarrassing. I wanted to be masculine. And so the doctor had never done it before. It's the first of its kind. They've said, wow, we've gone from the asshole to the head before, but we've never gone down that way. Mikhail, you're in hacks. And Hannah, I'm under one the Emmy and she gave a brief, but attention grabbing speech. And she stole that from you. That was your speech. How'd you want it? That was what happened? Honestly, like has off to her really. She said a lot of really wonderful things, but you'll never hear that because the only clip that actually got played and played and played was she said, go birds, fuck guys, free Palestine. And apparently like everybody was clutching their pearls after that. And I was like, how are we living in a world where that's the shock? Meanwhile, masked men are roving the streets of LA and everywhere else in this country and kidnapping people and shoving them in vans and breaking up families and putting them in detention camps that, you know, our elected officials are now getting arrested because they're not allowed to go inspect. Like why is that? Like I'm talking about like Hollywood colleagues, liberals, you know, who are just like, ooh, you know. And so again, I guess I'm here to defend the ladies. I was like, yes, good. But then Homeland Security actually put out a statement about it because nothing makes them more upset than millennials winning a prize for a comedy on HBO. And they said something like what she said was ugly. It's ugly. Be a lady. And then said something like when violence against ICE officials is up 1000%, she is, you know, that this little redhead on stage is like inciting violence against these, this marginal group of ICE officials who are so marginalized that really they are the only ones who should be able to receive, you know, free college. That's really it because they're so living on the fringes of our society. And I just was like the way, the gymnastics of twisting that, like, and they do it consistently. They keep stealing really sensible responses to the horrible evil things that happen in the world and then adapting them and adopting them for themselves, as you know. And just saying like, you know, anti-Semitism is way up, you know. Islamophobia is way up. Like now we're just like, oh gosh, but let's hold space for the ICE officials, you know, as if they didn't have a choice. Yeah, I mean, it's trolling. You know, it's the same as with Brendan Carr. Like it's a culture of trolling, right? And now they troll with power. They use their power to troll too, right? Like Trump is a troll. That's what he's doing when he tells ABC News, oh, to Jonathan Carr, like you have hate in your heart and maybe I'll come after you. He's trolling, but they also back it up with like the force of the state now. Yeah, exactly. Which is why you can't be scared about it. Which is why you got, that's how they win. They win by getting all the people to clutch their pearls. This place says free Palestine. There's nothing wrong with saying that. If you're out there and you're worried about people from Palestine and you want them to be free, you want them to have a better life. There's nothing wrong with that. And they have like created this world where they say, oh, well, if you say that, you're anti-Semitic. No, you're not. If you say that, you're, you know, you're, you're, you're a bad person. No, you're not. But you just have to push back a hundred percent on that and you can't let them scare you. You can't be quiet. You can't go, oh, well, we shouldn't say anything because if you don't, we see what happens when you keep giving them inches. Yeah, that's right. But the birds do not say go birds. Oh, I don't like birds. I disagreed with that. Birds are, they are a scourge on everybody. So do not say go birds. Those birds are racist. Yeah. Wait, one second. We are back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of love it or leave it coming up. Love it or leave it is brought to you by built. Nobody wants to pay rent, but if you have to, built makes it worth it. Built is revolutionizing how millions think about paying rent by rewarding their members with points and exclusive benefits around their neighborhood every single month. By paying rent through built, you earn flexible points that can be redeemed toward hundreds of hotels and airlines, a future rent payment, your next lift ride and more. But it doesn't stop there. Built is about making your entire neighborhood more rewarding. You can dine out at your favorite local restaurants and earn additional points, get VIP treatment at certain fitness studios and enjoy exclusive experiences just for built members every month. Built is turning a monthly expense into an opportunity to earn rewards and discover the best that your neighborhood has to offer. Your rent is finally working for you. Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood wherever you call home by going to joinbuilt.com slash love it. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T.com slash love it. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. All right, we're back. It's time for a classic here at Love It or Leave It, which is a game we call, was I in this? This week we've got a twist. McKayla and Colton will be playing each other. I'll be chiming in with my amusing bun moths as usual. So let's play, was I in this? Yeah. Yay. All right, Colton, you first. McKayla co-started with Julia Louis-Dripis in three different projects. Veep, the new Adventures of Old Christine and the underrated 2013 James Gandolfini romcom. Enough said. Am I trying to figure out if I was in it? No. I hope not. I hope that this becomes more of a that becomes more of a medical thing. Then we ask you to what were you in this clock you drew? You have to say if it's true or false, Colton. Oh, uh, who? Well, I mean, two of those I know. So I'm going to say false. Wrong. All right, Colton. You got a point. No points. Okay. Uh oh. Should have. How's it going? At the scoreboard right there. I got I'm a professional. Yeah. Uh, McKayla, is any part of you? Oh, wait. Oh, yeah. James Gandolfini. Yeah. That's cool. Mm hmm. What was he like? I don't know. I didn't. He was very sweet. He was very sweet. Yeah, but I only I only did one scene with him. Oh, did he have that kind of intense charisma the whole time? Yes. That's cool. No, he was more like sweetie pie. Like you can't believe he was a mob boss. I got to hang out with that guy. Yeah. Really? Years ago, I lived in a house right off Sunset Boulevard. It was across the street from a place called coach and horses, which was like a dive bar and he would show up there and he would show up there really late and the bartenders all knew him and then they would close the bar and let him stay. And a couple of times he was like, you you could stay too. And we just stay and have a lot of fun with James Gandolfini in a bar on Sunset Boulevard until like, you know, three, four in the morning. That's cool. Michaela. Yeah. Colton received not one, but two Emmy nominations for man TV. What? Fantastic. True or false? True. False. He wrote for man TV. And you had an iconic character, Mandongo. Oh my God. But he earned two Emmy nominations for his work writing for key and peel. Oh, it's true. I was on that. Did you write for me? Which sketch were you? I played Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene. Oh, Mary Magdalene sketch. Yeah. What's what's always like the gist? Hegan was Jesus. I had to wash his feet. Okay. Was it was it being a pimp or something? It was at his house at 2 a.m. Were there any cameras there? Oh, yeah. There was at least one cell phone. Okay. Colton, you were you were you worked for man TV, crawl show, key and peel, comedy, bang, bang. That was like a golden age of sketch. Oh, yeah. Do you think it'll come back? You know, I'd like to think so. I'd like to think so that sketch comedy will make a comeback, you know, and then I think funnier dies in there with all that stuff, you know, kind of that early internet days. Um, but, uh, you know, who knows, it all seems like a short form vertical sketches where people are in the sketches by themselves and they're just talking to each other and different angles on their cell phones. So I think that's the new sketch comedy. Loneliness. Just everyone by themselves. Do you have a favorite character you've played? Do I? Yeah, I do. Who was it? Uh, well, it was a favorite show I did. Favorite show. Yeah. Casual. Oh, yeah. Oh, thank you. Great show. Spattering after everybody canceled their Hulu today. I don't know what to do because it's like, maybe we need to get to the boycott. I don't know what the answer is. Obviously, if I did, I would tell you. Uh, but fundamentally, like there's like, obviously there's many problems, but three giant problems. One, anti-democratic authoritarian takeover of our government. Two, corporate cowardice on an absolutely mind boggling scale. Just people giving the administration rights it actually couldn't take. Giving a power it couldn't seize and would never be able to win in court. But three is very clear that these corporations, anyone making a calculation that is not moral, but, but mercenary and financial and strategic is calculating that we are not a big factor. They're calculating that the, the tens of millions of Americans, the majority of this country that is not only a pro-freedom expression, but, uh, you know, anti-Trump, aren't powerful and may never have power again. And actually, even if we do gain power, won't make them pay for the decisions they've made to capitulate to this dangerous, uh, government. And, uh, we got to figure out a way to make clear that both Democrats in power and everyone that's part of this big democratic movement from the far left to the anti-Trump right, uh, aren't going to forget and are worthy of being afraid of. And maybe that will be through, and through nonviolent means, through boycott and protest, and electoral success and through our representatives holding people accountable for the decisions they're making right now. But a combination of short-term thinking and a lack of imagination and the correct evaluation of current democratic leadership that we're not people to fear is part of our problem. It's a big problem. And I don't know if boycotts the answer, I don't know how to get to the place where we are seen as a political force worthy of respect. But one way or another, we got to figure out what that is. Probably should do it quick. I think. Probably should go quick. I think canceling your subscription is a great place to start. You know, people didn't want to do that during the strike. They asked us not to do that back in the day during the strike specifically, but, you know, after working for a lot of these streamers in shows, all they care about is how many people are subscribed to them. And that's also their motivation is to get new subscribers. So once you take yourself out of there, they, their whole business model is to figure out how to get you back to get you subscribed. I totally agree with that. I think I, my, my thought is not, oh boycotts don't work. That's not, I am what I want to make sure is, you know, this happened on the right, a fair amount, all these hosts were just like, you got a boycott in espresso. You got to, you can't use this. You can't do that. And there are all these different lists of on the left of places we were supposed to boycott. And my, my, my view on this is if we're going to decide, I want us to like, I don't, I don't want us to cry wolf. If we're going to say, all right, this is the place we're drawing the line. We're all going to cancel Disney plus. We're all going to cancel Hulu. It has to be both clear, serious. It has to actually have a goal, right? We can't just be like, oh, we're all not using the service forever. Maybe it's Kimmel has to come back on. Is that, I don't know what the answer is, but some measure by which we can declare success so that there's some incentive for people to actually respond to our pressure. And we'd, by the way, like, you know, it's a, it's an unusual thing for a, for our side to set a strategic goal and then through collective action, go about creating the incentives to make it real rather than what we normally do, which is, you know, pick her and run around. But it's something to consider. Yeah. I'm going to think about that over this weekend. I feel like, like that's what it's like to be married to you just now. Like I'm like, good night, honey. You know, should we watch Hulu? Oh, actually I canceled it. And then you just say all of that. And then it's like, well, when is it, when is this going to end? How long will this be canceled? What's the point of all of this? Yeah. And then, and then at the end of it, your husband goes, okay, so good night. No, you've, you've gotten pretty close. The good news is I just do fall asleep. I'm pretty tired. I'm pretty tired because I am having pretty intense political stress dreams. So I'll pass out easy. The eyes go down. And I'll try to take this thing down with a, with a big old Xanax, just, just a, just a good old chemical, you know, mallet to the face, you know, just go, go, go out, out, out. But the dreams, the spiky dreams, the bit of the anxiety, the points push through the cotton of the Xanax. You poke through into the open air and then I'm awake. And then I'm awake and it's night and it's night. And then you know what else happens? What happens? The fire alarm has a tiny little light and I would never know that light existed, but for whatever reason at four in the morning, it is as bright as the sun, right? As bright as the sun. And I wouldn't bother me any other time, but at four in the morning, just over in the corner of the bedroom ceiling, the sun turns on, gone. It's like a Ingmar Bergman. The sun goes on, gone, alone, dark, dark, thoughts, sun on, can't sleep, can't sleep. Too late for a second pill, too early to get up. Is that a dog snoring? You bet it is. Is that why I'm awake? No. Now to the third question of our quiz. This is a hoot. I'm glad you're both here. It's a weird night. Colton, Michaela appeared in the Law and Order SVU episode, Ballerina as Birdie Sullaway, a former dancer suspected of pushing her husband out of a window. True. That is false. That was Carol Burnett. Michaela appeared as a Law and Order classic as Judge Madeline Bennett. Really? Who refused to testify against her husband's killer in order to hide her opiate addiction. Right. Well, but it gets even better because it was, you know how they try to stay topical? It was like the Nancy Pelosi, like a student who was a protesting Israel, Palestine. He was pro-Palestine, anti-Israel. She was a pro-Israel judge and she didn't let him clerk for her. And so he came to have it out with her and she was at home and he murdered her husband. Oh, so it was like based off of what happened to Nancy Pelosi and her husband. And they merged it with Columbia protests. Wow. Ripper headlines indeed. Jeez. Bum, bum. The news. What was the, what was the body discovery scene in that? Like how did they, how did they, was it like, it's always like, you know, some guys like, man, this bowl, I can never get enough air. And whoa, buddy. Yeah, somebody jogging. No, it was the foyer. It was a black and white tile parquet and turn of the century at a nice molding and, and it was him lying there on the ground and just blood spilling from his head. Oh my goodness. Wow. Bum, bum. Yeah. Michaela. Yeah. Colton recounted the true tale of the sugar hill gang seminal hip hop song rappers to light in an episode of drunk history featuring Reda. Hmm. That sounds true. But yeah. Nice. I love Reda. Did you actually get wasted during that? Buddy, I got totally wasted during that. I did it once. I got so drunk. I got really drunk. I drank about an entire, an entire bottle of Jamison. Wow. Yeah, it was bad. And did you have to go to the hospital? No, no, I have to go to the hospital. I was still, I was still younger then and I could still drink, but I, I lost my shoes. So I woke up in my house without my shoes. And I didn't really remember the last, you know, you tell the story. They have you tell the story about three or four times. And I only remember doing it two times, but apparently I did it two more times. And then I was like, all right, everybody, we're going out. And I, like took people across the street to the coaching horses and. Really? Yep. Yep. Don't remember it though. I remember when I got through, when I was doing the second telling, I lay down. And most of the second telling I'm laying down. Which story did you tell again? I did John F. Kennedy's doctor who gave him all the pills. Doctor feel good. Doctor feel good. Yeah. I feel good. Wow. I did doctor feel good. I was Julia Child. Oh, wow. And I was also in the one with Lord Dern about the, oh, this is a fun little thing. I was in the one of the, the insane asylum that were the about the woman who goes into undercover in a insane asylum. Oh, yeah. You expose it. Expose it. Yeah. And then they, she ends up being committed and she can't get out. Michaela. Yeah. True or false. What? Colton's in superstore. Well, this is true. Oh, you got it. I got it because you're the, because one of your producers was, was gushing. So that was a cheat. You think? And also because I love superstar. Mmm. Superstore can't get enough. How are the wigs on superstore? Did you say wigs were great? We had great, a great team that in the hair and makeup department that would put together some fun wigs. There's episode, a Halloween episode. We played different characters every Halloween episode and I was Superman for one of them and I got to wear a wig, which is nice because I'm bald. So I don't have any hair. A review. Why did you, why did you gas? Because in my mind, I haven't had 12 hair transplants yet. I don't know why. I think, I think three is like three, 12 is not worse than three. Once you're past one, it's, it's worse than one. How many, how many would I take? Oh, well, it depends. It depends on how bad of an afternoon you want to have. You can, I can get, I think you could, I think we'd get you done in two really, really uncomfortable days or three very mediocre days. Okay. It's so not fair. What? It's just not fair. What's not fair? You guys have one biological thing that plagues your like adulting. You're forgetting about big balls. No, I don't know. Our balls get really big. They get lower and lower and lower. They get lower. So what? It's not like. They're all over the place. It's not like you're half. Hold on a second. We're not just going to blow right past my big balls. You don't wear. You don't wear a ball bra that you have to like that cut off circulation around your ribs. You're right. Because your boobs, your empty pockets are falling off your body. You don't have, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't have, you don't have sweats. Talk about waking up in the middle of the night and looking at a red light. You don't have to do, deal with any of this bullshit. You get one thing, one, one, your hair, thins on the top of your stupid heads. And guess what? Yes. Yeah, man. I'm not done. I, all I did was take my hat off. What is it? You guys, then how quickly did they figure that out? Woo. Figured out how to take care of that. One thing that. Bumbs you out. All right. They didn't figure that out that quickly. If you remember for a while, they were basically butchers. They were taking guys in and they were coming out like cabbage patch dolls. They were basically like, what we do is we take 50 hairs, we put them in one circle at the very top, then you comb it around. There are a lot of guys out there that got that they went in early and they are pioneers and we are grateful to them. These are, these are, these people had the right stuff. They were brave. What's the name of the pilot from the right stuff? Um, I don't know. Do you want to see my, do you want to see my patch? Sure. The one that I had to pay for and change or my body and brain fall out. What? Your brain fall out patch? Is this what it is? It's a hormone HRT. Sometimes we got to pee a lot. So do we. We have no pelvic floor. Thank you. Now that's fair. It really is. Uh, they, they, they've solved boners and male baldness. Yeah. But I'm incontinent. Have a great day. What's the score by the way? On our scoreboard. Balls two. One zero. Beautiful. Miguel wins. Nice. Congratulations. By the, by the weight of a feather. Oh, also hacks is streaming now on HBO Max and you keep tabs on Colton on Instagram at capped dope, like captain dope. Yeah. CPT. Dope. All right. We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of love it or leave it coming up. Love it or leave it is brought to you by Haya. 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But here in Los Angeles, you can come see us live next Thursday right here at Dynasty typewriter September 25th will be joined by Paul Scheer. Oh, Congressman Eric Swalwell. Wow. And more. All right. Actor, director, generational smoke show, Robert Redford passed away on Tuesday. Uh, I love Robert Redford. Great guy. Love. Popcorn was great. Love. Did he make popcorn? Oh, maybe I'm thinking of Paul Newman. You're thinking of Paul Newman. But I was doing the math on that one and I was like, wow, that's a that must have been friction in their friendship. Right. Yeah. Be like, oh, now Butch is doing it. Yeah. Miguel, you like Robert Redford? Loved. I mean, who it's not to love. I went to Sundance a lot. I've had I had a lot of movies there, luckily, fortunately. Like you meet him. Yeah, I went as I went to the director's lab as an actor. That sounds like I was lost. They invite. Oh, no actors. Huh. Cool. And I handed out my headshot. No, I was invited. They invite actors in to like work with first time directors and then they have mentors. But then he invites you into this private little screening room while you're there. And he did a screening of all the president's men on the original reels. And then talked about it afterwards. And God, he's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful man. I was thinking the reason I wanted to do this is because I was like, oh, my God, I sorted Robert Redford into like medium old in my mind, not like, oh, wow, he was old. You know, he's old guy. It's been around for a long time. Probably still handsome. Even as an older guy. And so tonight we wanted to give living legends their flowers. So we're going to spin the wheel and praise a non-agenarian who's still with us. Cause why not? Why wait? Why wait to have the feelings with when they're gone? Okay. All right. So, uh, Mikhail, you go up first. We have a wheel. Let's see who's on the wheel wheel. Oh, I missed this wheel sound. Oh, it's landed on Shirley McClain, age 91. Wow. Oh, sure. You know what? Right before the pandemic was starting, I was about to go shoot a movie with her. In Amsterdam, play her daughter. It was like a holocausty kind of movie. And it never funny, but funny, but hilarious. Like little miss sunshine meets the holocaust. There's something funny about the phrase holocausty, which makes me also think like, was it too much money? Like this is holocausty. You know, it's it was about. It was about a woman who is very hesitant to go back to Holland and her daughter really wants to go see where, you know, where her family was from originally. And the, and she's very testy and pissy through the whole thing. And you find out like about their dark, her dark past. But anyway, I just think that she, you know, in terms of endearment, all the things she's made that she has just, she's a legend. Cheryl, like you're beautiful. I hope you come back in another form because she's ballsy and she's, she's, she was never, she was never just what's his face. His brother warned. She was her own whole damn thing. Yeah. Love, Shirley McLean. Love terms of endearment. I mean, like that sequel. Yeah. The rivers of the summer. Nope. What about that one with Jack Black? Where? Remember that? Anybody? Lula rock. Guarding tests. That was a Nicholas Cage Minecraft movie. And then she's all into astrology. She's fun. All right, let's spin it again. This time for Colton. It's land on Dick Van Dyke. Oh, love, love his popcorn. This guy. Oh, I love Dick Van Dyke. I mean, look, I grew up, Mary Poppins, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. So I loved him when I was a kid. And then I remember Nick Loading used to play all the old stuff. So you had like the Dick Van Dyke show, stuff like that. Always super funny. Always seem really nice. You know, I feel like there's a lot of people who you look back over their career, especially, you know, some comedians and and there's a lot of troubling things, you know, where you're like, oh, oh, boy, I can't believe they did that. You know, and then maybe even just some like, like straight up controversies. It feels like he was relatively controversy free. The characters and the bits that he did, like you could still play him. You know, I could still play, you know, my show. My kid, Mary Poppins. You know, I just like that, you know, that, you know, and he was a thing. I know he was a recovering alcoholic. I'm sure there's probably some fucked up Hollywood stories of Dick Van Dyke. But the people have died and they haven't told us those stories. So we don't know them. They're probably cute. Yeah. And yeah, so he just, you know, I think, I think, give that guy his flowers, man. He always made everybody laugh. And he's just a funny, tall guy. Everybody loves the funny, tall guy. Good, good, practicals. Yeah. Fellow, what guy made tripping over an Ottoman and icon. Oh my God. An iconic trip over. A lot of people can fall over an Ottoman. Yeah. You know, a lot of people would tumble. He tumbled. Yeah. He tumbled. Yeah. He went, he, I feel like if he did do anything bad, it was probably charming. Like, yeah, Dick, he, he fucked a peacock. Oh, Dick. And a, and a rock the name Dick and like, have it work. Never even connect with and dyke. Yeah. He's got it all in there. Yeah. Yeah. That is a triggering name. And van. And van. I don't even. The creepiest vehicle. And I don't even connect them to the Dutch. Yeah. Those slippery Dutch. Let's spin it one more time. This time for me. Oh, you're gonna get. Oh, great. It's landed on Mel Brooks. I love Mel Brooks. I love Mel Brooks. And you know, I was thinking about Mel Brooks because they're making spaceballs too. I'm excited about that. I got friends that are working on spaceballs too. I'm excited about the fact that we're going to get a spaceball too and that Mel Brooks is still around. It's like, be part of it in some way, which is amazing. So old, big man. That's so old. They're so old, but still kicking. And there are all these old stories about Mel Brooks just kind of tooling around like LA delis. And if you went up to Mel Brooks and said that you love the producers, he would say, of course you do. It's one of the greatest comedies of all time. And I love that. I love that vibe. I love the happiness. Like there are a lot of really funny Jewish comedians. And then there's a lot of really positive comedians. It's a really funny, positive Jewish comedian. Wow. That's a triple threat. That's a triple threat. Joyous. Joyous. And like those movies were so joyful. They're so fun. I know. And so many, I don't know, like so many, we like drain so much of the fun out of like comedy a lot of the times and like just like Hollywood in general and everything is like so serious. And even the scary movie, High Anxiety, like even that was like scary funny. Yeah. Scary charming. So charming. Mel Brooks. So I did a game show with him. You did? Yeah. To tell the truth. Oh wow. He was so darling and with Chloris Leachman. Oh. And then she rubbed her vagina on my arm. She would known to be doing that. And it was very funny. Sure. It's funny when she does it but then Louis C.K. can't go anywhere. Wow. Double standard. Here we go. Think about that. And I'll just close by saying, when I saw that Robert Redford died, I had this realization that like there are some actors, classic actors, that when they die you think of their performances. And he's an amazing actor but that's actually not what I think of when I think of him. I think of the movies themselves and I think of all the president's men and I think of the candidate. I think of three days of the Condor and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and how amazing these movies are and how much they hold up. How many people here haven't seen three days of the Condor? Ah. Do yourselves, give yourselves a treat. Out of Africa. Did you say out of Africa? I never seen out of Africa. Oh. That's another good one. Is that? I mean. That's another good movie. I'll watch it. He's so hot and it's disturbing. It is. Nobody should be allowed. That was my take too. It was like the guy's a smoke show in there. I mean. Just fires it up. Ridiculous. Real boner material. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's the lesson too. It's just like you got these stars. Yeah. They're all boner material. They leave behind. And what about that movie he did where it's just him on a boat and then he gets lost at sea? Does anybody know what that is? Help. Overboard? And he was like over 80 years old and every morning, before they would even start shooting on a freezing cold boat in the ocean, he would go to the hotel pool and swim like five miles. And then. Those guys were always talking about how they were worried that they were going to kill him. Because he was so old when he was a cult. All is lost. And here we are all these years later and he died bungee jumping. Yeah. Yeah, from a helicopter. Also sneakers. Sneakers. Sneakers is so good. All right. I love Robert Redford. RIP to a legend. That's our show. Thank you so much to Mikaela Watkins and Colton Dunn. We will see you next week at Dine with the Tide Brighter. There are 409 days until the midterms. Hope we have them. Have a great night and have a great weekend. Love it! For you! Let's love it! For you! Let's love it! For you! 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