Shane Gillis Confronts Bobby

Project Hail Mary is an extraordinary cinematic experience. You're a great scientist, Dr. Grace. The world is calmed down on you. Starting Ryan Goslake. So I met an alien. Two worlds. One impossible mission. We're going to save the stars. Project Hail Mary. Amazing, amazing, amazing. Seat first, March 14th and 15th, in cinemas everywhere March 19th. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Woo! Like you, an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Are you two or something? We're bad friends. Hey, bad friends. Welcome back to our 300th episode. Woo! We're so excited to be here. We're in Phoenix, Arizona. Yeah. pH. We're OE and IX. Phoenix. Arizona. This will probably be the last episode ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just getting warmed up, guy. Yeah, dude, you are. You're warm. And our guest today, go ahead and introduce our guest. Well, he's one of my favorites, man. Yeah. Yeah, man. Shane Gillis, dude. Shane. Top dog. Top dog. Top dog. Yeah. Top dog. Buddies. You know, and we're, you know. Let's start it off the right way. What? Do you want to say anything to Shane after, you know, about 50 episodes ago or something you just changed pretty hard? I didn't point to it. Yeah, you did. That's insane. You did? It was really hurtful. Yeah, okay. So what did I say? Do you remember? I would look like I was in corpse. I remember. Water. The bog water. Yeah. Yeah. Which, you know, you're not. You were, you were wrong. Yeah, yeah. I know. But, and I hurt you. And, you know, my bad, dude. That's okay. And it's like, you know, I, to, to me, to, I look like I'm right next to you at the bog. Don't do that. We got to do that with my mind, dude. That's pretty good. Yeah, I mean, you want Asian magic. That's Asian magic, dude. To leopards. Move on. It's not good stuff, but what? Move on. Oh. Hey. Hey. Bob Dylan's here, guys. Get in here, Bob Dylan. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Hank tight. All right. Oh. Thanks, man. Hey. How you doing? Got a show tonight. Is that a cautious wife? Take it easy on that. Sorry. Consuming a lot of that content. Yeah. Are you liking all that stuff? Oh, my God. I'm jerking off. I got no back here. You got no back button. Damn. You want back here? I got it. All right. What's up, buddy? Oh, I'm hung over. We did it up last night. Yeah. What happened down in Tucson? We were just showing Tucson, yeah. Yeah. What happened? I heard you got here. You're calling out the driver. Oh, he was driving. The bomb. Shit is pants. Bart, I'm up the store. So it's like new jersey in there. Yeah, it was rough. Then we're getting out of the car and he goes, yes, you later, Robert, with your nasty rotten ass. That's gross. He was a bad driver too. He was a terrible driver. I just want to go back a little bit back to your apology to Shane, because I do want to make it public on the show. Okay. What are you doing? What are my feelings, man? Okay, I'll be honest with you. Okay. You want to get real? I don't know. I don't. Hey, Hancho, you want to get real, Amiko? No. No, I'm afforded. Yeah, I'll get real. When he goes Spanish, he means that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Los Ponte Lones, my Amiko. Yeah. Okay. That's where I just ate. I admire you. Shit's fucking. That's worse. You mean the top? No, that's way worse. I got to get shots. Keep talking shit. I got to get to the top. I got to get to the top. Give me a shot. Am I got to go? All right. I got to go. All right. So let's be real for a second. Okay. Yeah. And don't interrupt. You don't interrupt me, dude, because that's rude. If you keep talking like that, I'm going to call ice. I got to get to shit. All right. I'm not that type. I know. Take Asians. Yeah. Oh, they do. Oh yeah. They take Asians. I take them. Yeah. Please don't call them. Okay. All right. So I love you so. You've been so nice to me. And I think we're friends. And I, um, you know, you're looking being the eyes fool. All right. Fool. All right. You can't find them. Yeah. All right. Okay. That was a good one. 19a shit. I love it. That's my whole act. Yeah. So I love you too, bud. All right. Get back to him. All right. All right. And, um, when I said it, I felt bad. When you texted me, it was a threat. Yeah. We're done or whatever your, your, your mean, I felt bad about it, dude. I thought about it. And I'm like, I shouldn't attack you in that way. And I, I really admire you. And I hope you forget me. I've totally forgotten. Okay. All right. I forgive you. Go with that now. I didn't do that. I thought that was wild that you did that. Yeah. Just kind of like, I heard you up to do that. Really cool to do that. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. How about though when I do say something, what about when I say something about Shane and I go? Like when I said, oh yeah, and Shane's playing Lincoln financial. We have the football, the football stadium. And then what do you say? That's great. No. I know you fucking said something. I'm nasty. He goes, I don't want to hear about Shane's not the king. He's not the king. That's what he says. I cannot say that. That's fucking outrageous. We have a whole room of people that are. That's what we are. Regents. Is that true? Is that true that he says that stuff? It is true. Thank you. The fuck man. Who is the king? I don't honestly do it. I have a slab. You know what I said that? You did. All right. All right. Yeah. All right. You did. All right. I'm out. Because here's what you're going to tell your wine. Yeah. All right. Because he's like, because I didn't want you to feel bad. I feel like when you say it. I feel bad. Yeah, because you're doing yuck yuck in these smaller places. You're doing these like, you know what I mean? Why is guys? It was a great club. You know, you just said that club last week. I played in two weeks. Yeah. So what are you talking about? Yeah, but you know, me. Don't step on me. I say it as a celebration of our of the people that I read as well. No, you don't like it because you're 15 or you're old and you think that's weird that he's young and great and you're old and it's over. He's one of the best comments I've planted. I've never fucking did I have that. You say that because he's here, but not when he's not here. It's where you. What the fuck you doing, guy? By the way, good Kevin Hart did the field. He did. Eagles and he only did 53K. I think you're going to go for the 70. Yeah, I'm going to do the middle. The middle stage. I'm going to do the round. Yeah, so you can fit more people. I just, I think doing a stage in a giant place really sucks. Yeah, yeah. Like the old time I'm up there, I just see someone in the balcony in the back. You know, that must be the worst show. Yeah, sure. It's possible. Gotta go over that. I mean, if the ball stays not going to be the best fucking comedy anymore, but it's a milestone. It's going to be great. What's that for you? Huh? What's that for you? What do you mean? What's that? What is that for you? Like, what would that be for you? I'm confused. Like Philly doing the football stadium. Geez, I guess the super dome. Yeah, that's our big spot, you know, in New Orleans. But would that be what you'd want to do or no? No, no, no. You know, we got the singer, theater, which is like our Carnegie Hall. So that would be cool. Yeah. Well, I was a little rude today at the airport. That's all. What happened? I'm a little insistent. I can't go back to that now. What happened? You know how we segue back into the thing, you know, well, you know, I haven't slept in a couple days. Oh, yeah. It's Vegas. Oh, shit. You relapse? No. So it's over. I'm with the hustler Tuesday night. Oh, shit. How much has been? 2700. That's not bad. What'd you get for 2700? Nothing. Handy? No, handy nothing. Come on. Yeah. What the thing is is that I was wearing these pants that you don't like. I don't like them. Yeah, yeah. And she was doing, you know, how she had a boning ass. And she was all what I was very wrecked. And she was doing one of those things. She's good. Excuse me. It's good. You're correct. That is. Nope. Nope. No belt. Whoa. Yeah. El natural. Well done. Take it a blue, gee, to go to a strip. That's a fucking thing. But she was, you know, with her boning ass, right? She was getting rubber, rug burns on my peepee. Oh, yeah, yeah. And so, and then at the end, she squeezed it. I don't know why she did that at the end. That's how she was looking for us. Dude, it's bigger than you think. Really? Yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah, it is, right? Yeah, bigger than people think, for sure. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't mean anything. But yeah, big. You know what? I'm almost at the point right now, dude, that if she leaves, I'll pull it out. Who? Oh, shit. Get out of here, Beck. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're a fool. She's like my daughter. So I need to. Oh. Anyway, can we talk about, I don't know if I'm fucking, I'm not talking about it now. Talk about it. What? She wants time now. Talk about it. What's the name of that grade? Me time at the DC bomber. What are you talking about? I have no idea. Don't bring up some more drama and social shit. No, I was just rude tonight. That's all I think. What did you do? So I was in line and it wasn't moving. You know how that happens? Sure. Not moving at all. Yeah, and I don't have TSA pre-check. Yeah, which is what? I'm insane. I'm with you. I don't have anything. What? You never got it. You get clear? I did clear. Okay. You're right. Where's useless now? It is. It wasn't moving. It wasn't moving. Then I hear some Indian dude. Oh, it's a smaller fucking. It is a smaller fucking right. Go ahead. What do you sound like? He had a regular American accent. Okay, good. Then why was he an Indian guy? I can smell him. I don't point at me. I'm not with you on that. Come on. That's a poly. He was just a joke. I couldn't smell. But anyway, so I can hear him like 20 people bad. Going up to people going, Hey, I'm lethal. Can I go ahead of you? And people are like, yeah, go ahead. Right? Oh, yeah. I couldn't wait for mine. Really? You hear him with no? Oh, yeah. Because I was late. Yeah. Yeah, I was late. They were boarding while I was still in line. So he comes up to me and he goes, Hey, I go, no. No, you didn't even let him get it out. I didn't let him get it out. I couldn't wait. I waited 20 minutes to get it out. Did you just stand behind you? It was like in the gun. So it came out weird. You got to wait. She was back. No, like that. Wow. What did he do? He goes, okay, sir. And then I kind of turned around. I felt guilty. So I kind of like, you know, my plane's boarding, too. So we're all kind of late. You know, because it's like, you know, I'd explain it. Oh, right. So then here's the second route thing I did. Dude, right? I'm on the aisle seat. You know, I mean first class. I just wink at me. I don't know. Don't do that. Yeah. You're on the aisle seat. It was turbulence. Right. Flight attendant did one of these. Oh, shit. Felt down to the ground. That's great. And I didn't even move. Dude, I did a look. I went, damn, you've changed. Yeah, yeah. It's because when I'm tired, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. You look tired, but you always do. Another 80s Asian thing. I love it. I'm trying to bring it back. It's vintage. This might be, yeah, I think all four of us are very tired. One wife is tired. Shots. Yeah, exhausted. I'm exhausted. Yeah, yeah. But it's a good thing. This is going to make for a good show tonight. Four tires. Five openers. Everyone's gone. Yeah, exhausted. Are you going to whip it out tonight? No, I don't. I don't want to. I can't follow that. Yeah, yeah, I don't whip it out. Dude, can I say something? Actually, we got fine. He stopped. I'm in that. Oh, I've never whipped none. Yeah, I'll get fine. A million down. I've never whipped my penis out on stage ever. That's that's your whole. My butthole. Butthole. Butthole. Oh, butthole. Butthole. You know what I mean? But not my, not Tokie, the dumb dumb. Nothing stays. That's the thing stays. No, we got fine and Vegas. That's my penis stay. No, we're Vegas. Where were we? Tokie, the dumb dumb. Yeah, we got it. Yeah. Yeah. He showed his butthole. In high school, I used to call it that. Anyway, how do you show a butthole? Do you go all fours? There. He's like he does it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He does it too. But I do it away. He does it too. He's fucking back. He's still in there. He's still in there. That's probably it. That's Bobby's bit. Yeah, yeah. That's my closer dude. Anyway, um, is that a phone you got going there? It was an audience members phone. They were like, can I have a picture with you? I took a picture. It's a phone. Took a picture of my butthole. Yeah, yeah. You know, back to him. Have you seen this butthole? No, it's so nice. Is it red like your hair? It's pink. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's very pink. It's very pink. Red. I love it. Because a lot of buttholes are brown. That's right. A built-in. Is your brown? Oh my god. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is you. Yeah, you turned down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, have you seen it? Oh, yeah. How? Check it out. Yeah, the mirror. Yeah, I already got a lot of it. You got to take a look. Turn it about a year. You take a look? You ever stood over a mirror? That'll wake you up. Holy shit. Really? It's like a seven circle of hell. It's like the valley of death down there. Yeah. You lay it down on the ground. Lay it down. You squat right over it. Woo! Yeah. You learn who you are. Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. When you do that. Usually run Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of hair. What's going on in there? A lot of hair. A fall bag. A lot of beehole. A lot of toilet paper. Yeah. Do you shave your... I shave. No. You shave or shave? What do you mean? Like, I'll just show you my pubes. No. I mean, just like... Okay. Like, they're trimmed. Oh my god. What do you get there, man? See, section scar. You're like the valley of a lady with three kids. I told you, he had like a foopa. He's got like a little baby foopa. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of cute. All right. It's a cute little foopa. Turn his way, but all right. You're trimming. You're trimming. You're not shaving. You're not shaving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I trim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the first thing that Shane said to you was that you look skinny. That was really nice. That was really nice. Thank you. You're trim drawing on. That's good. I'll see you all in hell. Yeah. We're tired. We're gay. Yeah. Yeah. What's the time? What's the time? How long until when you walk into the hotel room until you to the jerk off immediately? Pretty immediate. I get the the towel down. Go right at it. What the towel down? Yeah. I want to look at it. I see. Contrast. See this spread? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What do you really think the time is? I think mine was like maybe 15 minutes. Yeah. Sure. 15, 20. It's been four days. You put it in the corner and then change the temperature a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Plug the phone in. Put my top kit in the bathroom. Yep. I do that. There is a step by step. Yeah. And then finally you look at the bed and you go, okay. Now let me ask you this one. You guys ever just shoot it on the carpet? No, it's too much to me. They did this and it bothered the fuck out of me. That's crazy. You do that being either. It's free. You feel like an American. No. But as you get older, you know what comes out? Just a rising drop. Oh, yeah. If you can hear it, this is what it sounds like. And that's it. And there's probably two sperms in there. Half one one is probably dead. But it's like, when you get old, you know what I mean, that's what happened. Your sperm comes out with the hands behind his back like an old Asian man. Yeah, yeah. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly. Yeah, yeah. In a park. Oh, yeah, that's what it does. There's lurping noodles. Because you probably have cell marshmallow shots, right? The impature. What do you mean? No, I'm curious as to what you mean. Yeah, yeah, but you have a thick load like is it the consequence? What? All right, all right, all right, all right. What is too much? Yeah. All right, you're dying too deep. My bad. Keep it up. Keep it up top. Yeah, yeah, keep it up top. Keep it up top. I mean, he's the one that brought up the fucking. Yeah, but he did it very elegantly. Yeah, he had a little class. All mine was too vivid on my bad. Okay. So now we got a we got a squash of beef. You and I. Yeah, let's go. All right. Well, yeah, you're going mad viral with these impressions. I'm trying to steal your act, dude. I see. Yeah, he's stealing your acting. Yeah, it's very good. It's very good. Are you offended by it? No, but Nick Mullin and you should have a me off. Well, Mullin is good at it. Oh my god, he's killer. Let me see if I can do. I'll just copy what you say. And let's see. All right. I want to hear. I actually want to hear Mullin's. Which I probably pull it up. It's pretty. I don't know if it's dark. I'm really good. Okay. Yeah, you do Norman. Well, I do you do it for I'll do the third. I have to keep hearing him and then I can do it. Yeah. Hey, hey, I'm gay. Hey, I'm gay. This is pretty close. That's a pretty close. That's the one. Yeah. Hey, yeah, when you go when you go, I'm gay. Look away. He's got he got. I actually asked him to do it at the bar. All right. Just now I was like, do Norman. Oh, wow. It's very good. Yeah, you got it. It does. I imagine it would bother you. No, I don't care. You know what's so funny is that when I first started doing it, it's only because I can't do, I can't do like celebrity. I can't do like when someone's like, they do an impression of this famous person. I can do people on Friends of the if I can hear it. And I go, I think I can reach that in my voice. Right. And yours is me just going, it here. Here. I just talking about here. Here. Pretty good. Yeah, Bobby's impressions are unmanaged. I'm hurting. Unmanaged. Yeah, yeah. Who do you do? Oh my god. Do the gangster. Do your gangster. Well, so fool. Yeah. Well, so really good. Yeah. Damn. So homie. And then do your British guy. Hello. So good. Honestly, it was my name is bunch of men. He goes really good. He's pretty good. Bunch of. Eight years on a sketch show, National TV. In your face, dude. Damn. Yeah, not necessarily like it. But you know, what's so funny? It was on TV. No, Matt TV rules. Oh, yeah. He was pretty good. Yeah, why don't see that's what you do. No, it was like, that's what you do. Well, if it hurts, if it's an L's Coca Cola, Matt TV was Pepsi. It was good. It was fine. If someone's like, you want to watch us now and they're like, is Matt TV okay? It's actually crystal Pepsi because it's gone. Matt TV was very good. It was fun. You feel like you were, did you feel like you were in second position? Yeah, really? Yeah, it's called ratings. No, but I mean, like, didn't you feel like there were weeks where you were like, oh, this is where we're a much better show. Well, I mean, I knew we weren't because it's like, when Matt TV ended, we ended when Amy Polar retired from SNL, right? And immediately she's on TV shows. And then I remember waiting in line on these auditions. And I remember running into like, I can Jordan all these guys and like, just back in line. Look at all the people from that show that are kind of the Baron Holtz, huge Keegan and Jordan Peele. Yeah. I mean, he was on that? Yeah, dude. I didn't know that. They exploded. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. It's neck crazy. It really did. And the Kenny Rogers guy, what's his name? We'll say that. We'll say that. So, there's so many funny people that came from that show. And they just like blew up. Yeah, me too. Like Donald. No, no, but they like blew up. Huge celebrity. Yeah, we were 18th on the variety thing. Yeah, but I'm saying like those other people. Yeah, yeah, that's, you know what? That's a big deal. Domino's Pizza. Domino's Pizza. It's my favorite. Remember, do you remember when we were in high school, in high school, and you'd be sitting around and be like, someone's going to get a domino's? You know, like who's going to get the domino's? Yeah. I'll get the domino's. I used to steal money from my dad to get domino's. You did? Yeah, because you know what I mean, we couldn't, he wouldn't get it. So I would get it. You, where did your dad hide money? What? Where did he hide his money? It is shoes. Shmoney shoes. Yeah, yeah. And I would grab that shoe money, right? And I would buy domino's. Call domino's up. And it's perfect. It's perfect. Whether you're by yourself, which I do, or you're with a group of friends, which Bobby loves. Yeah. It's always good to order. It's community food. It's community food, but it could be you food. Yeah. It's all right. Yeah. I've eaten a whole pie. I mean, I've eaten, I think I could eat two. You could eat it anywhere. Like you're in a corporate environment. You know, with the CEO, let's get some, that one. Because then you're a burning man with some hippies. That's right. Right? You share it there, right? Or you're just in the park, dude. It's great. And they've stepped up again. It's the quality and the level of pizza is evolved. Domino's has evolved. So pick up some right now. Draft King Sportsbook. It's the fight nobody saw coming. Jake Paul versus Anthony Joshua live on Netflix, December 19th. Two rules collide in the ring. And Draft King Sportsbook has the action covered. Bed on every round, every punch, every knockout moment with live betting and fast payouts. You're always ringside for the action. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app today. New customers bet just five bucks. And if you're betwins, you'll instantly get paid $200 in bonus bets with code BadFriends. That's code BadFriends. 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Have you been with someone where you like think that something's going to land and they're like, hmm, I don't really like that kind of. Oh, the story of my life. What is getting? Does that have millions of shit that I go? Oh my god. It's like my Budapest story with the Jamie Lee Curtis. Oh, yeah. Do you guys know this story? No, what happened? Oh my god. That's long. I don't want to just give the bridge version. So I'm doing this movie with Jamie Lee Curtis where Budapest and she goes meet me to mom. I'm going to give you. I'm going to show you something, some education. So we show up and there's a bunch of actors there. I don't know anybody. And this is like the second day. There are. I don't know anybody. And also you're self conscious because you're like, they can see through me. I'm not talented. You're right. You're right. These are all requests. But these are real actors. You know, I don't know how I got this. You know, I agree. So we probably this. We're the by this river. And Jamie and there was these bronze shoes along the river. And there was like this theatrical like Broadway star, Cheyenne Jackson. He's like this gay guy. And he's like super talented. He can sing, dance, all that stuff. He's gay. He said that. And and okay. Yeah. Yeah. And then Jamie goes. But doing the 1940s, Nazi's occupation of Hungary, they light up all these shoes. And they shot them on the river and they pushed them into the river. Right. And that's the way of these bronze, right. You know, I mean, shoes on the river banks. And then Cheyenne Jackson goes, he's such crying. And he goes, oh my god. A little kid would shot here because he's maybe shoes. And I don't know what came over me if I go, it could have been a myth. And they all walked away from me, right. And I sat there staring at these shoes going, I think I'm fucking done. I think they're firing me. That's the end of the business. Yeah, yeah. And that's why Borderlands did bad. You think so? That's why that movie tanked. I'm really the entire vibe of the film. But you know, as a comic, with their comics, they're up, you guys were there. Yeah, it would have been fair. We wouldn't have lying. But yeah, yeah, but it's like, you know, actors are just so sensitive. They're the worst. Hate hanging out with them. They start. They're not fun. How long did you, did you try to get on anything? I've auditioned for 9,000 things. I've never gotten one. Not one. Really? Gone in the room, done the self tape. I've gotten teachers and coaches. I got to. And maybe see, I can. I said I'd just share the bar. Hey, don't do that. I was like, you know, Norman can't hold. It's like a dog. You got to look away. I'm like, I stare you down. Yeah, yeah, can't do it. So like take off your glasses. Look at me for a second. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it. Let's do a little acting scene here. Let's see it. Yeah, yeah. Come on and try. Yeah, look at Andrew. He can't do it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. To a chance. You've never, you've never been in on anything. Not a thing. I was, you've done yourself on late 9,000, like that. I've done, yeah, I'm the stand up. But as an actor, you've never been in it in a, Zilch, I was at horse and Pete. Oh, that's great. Which Louis saw me do a set. He was like, you're weird. You want to do with a show? And I was like, okay. Yeah, it was awesome. But if you watch it, I am clearly the worst thing in it. The auditions are impossible. Impossible. The little worst. I tried, I did like three. Yeah, they were just, I auditioned for a Joker too. Oh, film that O'Connor just filmed me on his phone in my kitchen in Queens. And I was like, fake smoking a cigarette. I was like, what are these? My line was just a racist line. You're better off than I get. That movie sucked me. Yeah, yeah. And then I didn't know you had to memorize the lines. I'm going to auditions and just read it. Just read the fucking script. It's a lot of works. People do though. That's the thing. There's certain actors that can just get away with it. They'll bring the sides. And if they're, if their like attitude is, it is matches their talent. They don't give a fuck if they read off the lines. That always, I memorized everything I everyone out for. Yeah. Like everything, all the thousand of things I never got, I would sit up all night and memorize it. Then I would see like cool guy walk in with the sides. And they'd come out smiling. They'd be like, thanks a lot Tim. And they love that guy. Well, I thought I could do that. I could not. I was nervous. It's all bits of sweating. Mom's beginning. Like John Cho would be like, you know what I mean? We'd be on set about the film. And he's like reading it. I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm memorizing it now. Whoa. Because when did you memorize yours? Three weeks ago. Every day. Every day. 24 hours a day. Just laying in bed saying it. Like I was on the flight back Chicago. And who'd I sit next to? You remember I called you and he goes, Hey man, say how do your buddy, buddy, Bobby Lee for me. And I said, oh yeah, for sure. And he goes, tell him I'm sorry. And he was super genuine. And I was like, sorry. I mean, I'm gonna, all right, I'll tell him you said it. So then I called you immediately. And I said, I remember that. Why is he saying sorry? Yeah, we don't have to say his name. It was my first acting job, right? And I didn't know what a jib, what I don't know anything about the terminology. Of course. Right. And there was this thing where the camera goes into my face. And I kind of would move my head back because I got scared. And then at that same line, and I just couldn't do it. You know what I mean? Yeah, it was just like too much for me. You know what I mean? And the line was complicated, whatever. But you know, they cut the line, whatever. It's not necessary. And at the end of the day, I walked up to him when I go, um, Mr. Will, thank you for the job. You know what I mean? And he had a cigar and he asked it on my face. Oh, no. No, no. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What? That walked away, yeah. Wow. And it turned right. Right. Do I just have directors go get on your mark? No way. Yeah, in the 90s. Yeah. Why? Hey, get on your, yeah, yeah, yeah. The good old days. The good old days. The good old days. Yeah, right. We could have relived. Yeah. But it's like, you know, me back in the day, they were fucking mean. And I know that these traumatic experiences. But the term, you're right about the terminology that I have no idea. I don't act. And then I did a movie and the guy, he's yelling to find the lens. He's like, look at the fucking lens. Find the lens. Yeah, yeah. I'm staring directly into the, yeah, the first three days. Anytime I was talking, I'm looking directly down the barrel. There's so many scenes that are ruined. Yeah, yeah. And then on the fourth day, he says again, find the lens. And I'm like, you don't mean like look into the camera. And he was like, no, all right. Like started to see him out of this like, what is that? We're not going to be able to use anything. Because we don't, I didn't take a class. Right. One day, they're just like, do you want to be in this? That's crazy. You never do. You know what? And you show up. They're like, I can't do it. Yeah, that's scary. I was in train wreck and aptowed to Rex. So he's like one of these riff guys. Like, change it. Make it your own. Do it again. So you have to like think of stuff on the fly. And he walked over to me. He's like, he's supposed to be funny. Like, I'm asking you to be funny. And I was like, oh, oh, and I was trying to be funny. Yeah, yeah. And then I got cut. Hey, I was trying to be. Yeah, I was trying to be. No, you know, it is, it's, it's, it's, it's also painful when it's someone that like, I got one little tiny line in a Christopher guest show. And you know, that's, yeah. And he's phenomenal. I know everything he's done. But the audition was incredible. And I did great. And I thought, this is awesome. Because we just improbed in the audition, me and him. And then on the day, I'm supposed to die. I'm a Confederate soldier. Like, that's shot. And I, we did the scene. And he was like, hmm, is that how you would die? Yeah. And I was like, fuck. I don't know how to die. And I kept thinking about like how to die. And then I got more and more nervous, brawler did that with me. And he's standing next to me. And then Matt was like, what are you going to do now? I was like, I don't fucking know. No. And every time he came up, I got so nervous. I got so freaked out. But what ended up happening is he was like, you're supposed to be a man who thinks he's a Confederate soldier. Would you over dramatize it a little bit? I was like, maybe. He's telling me what to do. Stop it. You do. Just tell me what to do. He leaves you a little bread cracker. He wants you to get there, which is kind of rad. But then at one take, I thought it'd be funny to just be like obnoxious. So I get shot. And I go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And that's the one they use. That's great. Yeah. That was all they got. Because at that point, I was like, well, I did everything I thought I should have done. Obviously he doesn't care anymore. Maybe he's gonna cut away from me anyway. So I did it. And that's on the show. I slowly fall. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And I was like, why would he? But that's why he did it to be like do something else. Yeah. Yeah. But it's hard to because it's either they're being like really harsh or they're like, I'm trying to trick your brain into doing something else. Not, well. The worst is trying to fucking improv. And they're just like, cut. Yeah. Like, McKeever, when we're doing tires, a lot of it, we're fucking around and just trying to find something funny. And like, you're like, I think I got it. You're just gonna cut, you're gonna be like, they don't know. But you don't get nervous on tires, it's your show. So, you must feel comfortable. And you're you on the show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you want to get to. I mean, just be yourself. That's the dream. Is anybody not them on the show? I'm trying to think. No. Like, Kayla's the, Kyle's, Kyle's, Kyle's, Kyle's, yeah, but she, but that's still a play out of like a, a little, a little, really? Yeah, she's never acted or done comedy or anything. We were just, I thought she, I thought she acted. No, we were just like, you're, be yourself. Okay, that's it. So nobody, there's nobody. No one. I'm not gross a little. He's like a mean guy. Yeah. He likes mom Donnie. He's been doing that. Yeah. Well, he wants to have free groceries. We got a guy in our crew that, we, you have to do us one little favor at some point is let Carlos is a big, is a massive fan and take off your hat so you can see. You think that guy couldn't work in a mechanic. Holy hell. That scared the shit out of me. We think you need to put him just walking through the background of tires at the shop because he's a mechanic. I mean, that's a born mechanic right there. Brother, I'm, I'm boarding and I keep saying I'm going to be man enough to not fix it. Damn. Damn. Yes. Fucking wild. I respect it. Yeah. I respect it. So you know how, you know how women have that thing about like the hat, the hat game guys that are like, what are they without the hat? Put the hat back on. Yeah. Look at how fucking handsome this man is with a hat. It's unbelievable. Yeah. I mean, that is the greatest community I've ever seen in my life. Huge. Yeah. You look like movie director without the hat, your, your bus station. Child porn director. Yeah. Yeah. And I know that Shane that you offered me a role in tires. Yeah. And I didn't do it because I just at that time I didn't want to do an Asian accent. But now I'm doing Asian accents again. So if you want. You know what I mean? Hey, let me do his Asian accent. Yeah. I do it on the same old time. Yeah. I mean, if there was ever a part in there, you know what I mean? I do it for free. No, don't give him anything. I think your character was going to have a American accent. Boom. It was going to be, you were going to be the interpreter for an Asian tire comp. That's what my agent said. My agent said that you do, you have a thick Asian accent. We've, it's fluid. I'm going to finish the script day of. I'll get. All right. Guys got such a good team. They're always keeping my breath down everything. They're the worst. They're the worst. He's a business manager that's 105. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. Dude. He is, he, I'll call that guy sometimes. I'm like, hey, we need to put money in the account so we can for our tour. And he's like, we'll get around to it. I'm like, no, we need it like now. He also does Stevie Wonder's manager and stuff like, you know what I mean? He does other people. He does not do Stevie Wonder. His manager, not Stevie Wonder. Just the matter very. All right. So let's get, Shane will give you a new part. Can you, let's see you do a scene then to pitch yourself to Shane. What are you talking about? What are you doing? I know. I had no idea you were formed. Yeah. Yeah. Makes sense. Well, he's an American citizen now. We got him naturalized this past year. Yeah. So back off ice. Yeah. Give him, go ahead. Let's hear it. Here we go. Just give it to Bob. Oh, are you being real? Yeah. That's your audition for tires. Whoa. All right. Are you being fucking real, dude? What part of my playing? It's called Jake Chong Bingbong. Yeah. It's Jake Chong Bingbong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be a Connor. That's the lady. Yeah. I'm going to be a Connor. All right. Here we go. Let's do it. Go ahead. All right. Hey, you're finally back. Where'd you go? Your car's ready. We were watching the Penn State game at the diner. Very good playing. Cut. Cut. It's not getting. Who's that voice? Yeah. I'm sucking up a character. It'd be you. Yeah, be you. All right. Sucking up to Shane. I know. I had made it to you know you did at the beginning of the podcast. Yeah. Just do that here. All right. You ready? Can I just I need to resolve this? What are you doing, guy? Just giving you I'm trying to get you the on the show. I know, but you're making it really uncomfortable. I just want to get you on the show. I listen to it. All right. I was just kidding. It's so funny to be like I haven't a side with someone, but in front of the people. Okay. Come on. All right. Get on the show. Don't interrupt me though. You got it. I won't. Yeah. Sorry about that. Hey, finally back. Where'd you go? Your car's ready. We were watching the Penn State game at the diner. It's a very good place. Let's see. Exactly. You didn't even change it a little bit. All right. I'll just do it like this. The way I'm talking now. No, no. Hey, little bit. Come on. Maybe you. Come with us. Absolutely. Absolutely nervous right now, dude. No one. I don't want to do this right now. I actually am drowning. I don't like trying to read. Yeah, dude. I'm fucking drowning right now, dude. I feel like I'm sweaty. You're gonna kill it. I'm not gonna get browning go. Come on. All right. So good. All right. Actual. Come on. Get better. Just get a little bit better. Do it. Do it in my mind. As normal. No. I can't do it anyway. Go. Hey, hey, you're finally back. What'd you go? Your car's ready. We're watching the Penn State game at the diner. Very good playing. Do you like? What? The play on Saturdays. Oh, what's the bit of rerun? All right. Anyway, your car's ready. Here's the total cash or card. Eight or $40. Oh, we got one tire. Now we're getting so good. I recommend you get three more since one won't solve your hydroplanning problem. The way is it so expensive, dude. Is there your daughter? Yeah, I'm his American daughter. Don't worry. We're not ice. Guess I love that ice joke. That's the guy. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah, we're that cheap. Who's Cal? You you just I thought I was will. Yeah, you're doing both. Okay. Yeah. That's the guy. You're sick, dude. Can you ask your American daughter to step away, sir? Let's have a private conversation. You're scared of me, guys. What's going on? Well, you didn't do the Korean. It Bobby speaks in Korean. Clicks his tongue at jewels. Okay. Oh, you go. I don't know the I don't know how to say this in Korean. You're scaring me, guys. I'll go in Korean. Yeah, I don't think you got the show. I don't think you got it. Who wrote this by the way? You did Carlos? Really good stuff. Carlos is a screenwriter. Oh, no. Really? Former appetite writers. Was he hard to work with? Thank you. Who's that? My mom's here. Bobby's mom. My mom's here, dude. She looks younger than you. Mom. Oh my god. Mom. You do what's going on, mom? Who's the lucky guy? Hands. You know what? Carlos, we got to get your hands, dude. We got to get you some hands. Oh, holy hell. Damn. Because you know what? It offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with the ingredients that we're including, choose oral medication, serums and sprays. Dr. Trusted ingredients like finasteride and monoxidil can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. Okay. No hidden fees. No surprise costs. Just real personalized care on your schedule. Think of him as your digital front door. They get you back to your old self with simple. 100% online access to trusted treatments for real health concerns all done in one place. For simple online access to personalize and affordable care for hair loss, ED weight loss and more, visit hymns.com slash bad friends. That's hymns.com slash bad friends for your free online visit hymns.com slash bad friends. 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Oh. Yeah. 20. Okay. Okay. Get my mom. 20. What? What? How about like height you want? Did they have to be tall? Mm-hmm. Did they have to be tall and big? Tall. Tall. Tall. I like tall. Like all the things. Like all the things. It's the six of two. Six. Two. Six. Three. Right? Yes. Remember those nasty things? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's all a concrash. Yeah. I'm 20 and yeah. 20 and 16. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Would you would you stay in the hotel? Are you staying here? I bet. Oh, yeah. She can. You might go to the president's suite. Say, say, what are you doing? You can fix that throat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's my mom. Yeah. Well, throat throat. You must have put Korean. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously that's an L audition. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to say something. Pull it up. How you say I love you in Korean. I think he says neuter. How do I say it? How do you say I love you in Korean? I don't know how racist. I can't. Yeah. I think this is what I actually do. No, my mom can take it. Oh, okay. Well, what do you say? I love you in Korean. I love you. Oh, man. Love you. I'm talking. There is. Long time no see. Yeah. I'm sorry. Long time no see. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, it sounds like the same rhythm when you walk in a sushi joint. You know, when I went as you are a summer say I think hey, oh, it's the same thing. I love you. That means I love you city Are you okay with the white man the round eye or do you prefer? What's that? Oh really even black? Whoa, you're gonna watch out Bobby Spanish you know Spanish. Yeah, well, you know, it's a black guy Did you ever date a black guy or a Spanish man? Did you ever date a Spanish man? No? No, no, you have no Sounds like a little family secrets about Dreaming I think you've only been with you've only been with that right? Yeah, what? Yeah, she's a little fishy Did you get worked out on your face? Did you get any Botox or anything? I You didn't give me money for that You look great 82 Amazing I hope I hope so I hope so no me. No I want you to yeah, you want no No, no no no no no 90 you think I'll die in 90 100 you want to go hundred. Yeah, I hold will he he'll be 90 when he dies No, he got to be 100 to wow I've been our general in a DNA so we have long live My father live up to 96 years. Yeah, but but not on that side of the family They die early. Yeah Yeah, you such a nice mom She put me through three rehabs Three rehabs. Yeah, whoa remember the rehabs. Yeah. Oh my god Those are good the go-to Yeah, but you know I'm sober now again Yeah, for what? drinking No, I'm I'm sober yeah, I don't know how long but almost four years again Four years almost again. How could it always four years? I relapse every time every four years It does feel like four years. Yeah every four years. I relapse. Yeah, it's almost time the witching hour. Yeah, it's coming Yeah, do you think I will I would yeah, please god down. Yeah, tell him what I'm like. It's really not really really Yeah, sober when you drove me home from that comedy club that time I Don't think I was I don't think I was because we drove for like three hours I don't think I will And I didn't want to say anything Just miss every exit on the G. I Know Yeah, no, you were definitely not sober because you're like we better hurry hurry up and get home because these bills are about to kick You know your mom was coming no, we should have told you No, you know what no, you should have told yeah, it's a prize got it Thank you Yeah, you can meet you know me. I got I don't know Want to start their plotting our demise yeah, you smell them oh Like a dog I can smell Yeah, I was that was for your dad That's Rapa yeah, what's his name Rick Shaw 319 Mom what you've been doing though what you've been doing with yourself I They tell me I do I I've had all day I have a talk with this yeah, yeah, you have two iPads Yeah, yeah, yeah, because when you bought for me one stippin ball for me, okay That's it take more day. Yeah, yeah, I Play you know games solitaire And what the game you know war game war game well Korean war yeah Well, I don't talk about it. Tell us about the Korean war you're a kid right? During the Korean war seven. Well, what was the worst thing you saw at the Korea which is fun What did the people on those three? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we live by the mountain right yeah, yeah, a lot of people in the under mountain Yeah, dead mountain people on yeah, yeah, it's like LA Yeah, yeah, yeah, and did you what you poke their bodies and what'd you do? You stole the shoes what you do when you walk Was a scary Because I was just so young, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, seven is like the games, you know Yeah, I don't have a bad memory about world. Oh, okay. So how'd you get out? I never fight with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah So it embedded to start a West and South Then we know how yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't do you like North Koreans? I don't even reason to hate them. Yeah, good answer mom except you know politics and They are the same face because they look the same you love all Asians you love all Asians. No, not the Japanese not the Japanese I love you know, what do the Japanese do to us? Conco I mean they Korean the occupied Yeah, 40 years they're mean 37 years. Yeah 37 years You know what dad told me once we couldn't eat because they took all our rice to get you know take the right You don't take the right. Yeah, that's why we you know, we leave the right So just so short that time yeah, yeah, the Korean is a tolerance one in Asia. Yeah, but then at during that time We couldn't eat yeah, there's like a shrink then after Korean word they grow up so now they are kind of average You think I'm average I think I'm small You think I'm average for being Korean I don't think so in your family Yeah, the Lee family remember average. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I am no any My my Okay, yeah, yeah, you know what dad said once you know what dad said once about the Japanese long time ago I Right hang us upside down Yeah, okay, dad The near Right to there and then he said is that why you guys on the salons? Is that how it started He said they used to thunk us in a boiling water. Oh, yeah, so that they were you Pop in a layer of skin, you know, I mean and then eventually you would die But I was eight years old when dad told me that From day Expired as you know, what? Oh the tattoo Yeah, it's the military the military yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's where we had to drop a bomb on them twice That's more like this is it got the more like yeah, more like this is it got he just we dropped the bomb on them twice Twice Hiroshima and Nagasaki no twice one would be enough. Yeah, yeah I think we did drop Well, they started it they started it those bastards. Yeah They just I couldn't oh they gonna hate me you know who I cannot go Japan anymore. You feel say one thing like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah Shanie, any questions about my mom or no Well, you nervous. Do you know? You like Dennis Rodman? Yes, yes, yes, that's That's Who's that guy that knocked up your mom Dennis Yeah, mom he's the biggest comedian on earth planet earth Yes exactly Jane Gillis. Yeah, Shane. Oh my god. It's harder than my name. Yeah, you're name Hey, hey, I better remember that I can't We'll do we thank the boys so we can get they can rest and get ready for the show and finish with the family. Okay, great All right. Yeah, thank you so much. Thank you guys. I love you guys All right Today we have jewels Rudy jewels And then we got my mom and miss Lee Miss Lee's here my mom And wow, let's let's go around the room. What we're grateful for oh, yeah, that's what we do at 300 All right, well, you want to know what you grateful for yeah, I'm grateful for um you I really I really am honestly I do I am grateful for you. Thank you. I think that we We have a good thing going here. We got a good thing going and Really blessed you are true. You're very we're very I'm also grateful for my mom still being alive hell And looking so good at 82 that's 25 more years. Yeah, she's a great mother and um She says she can still count which is amazing She can still count which is amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's kind of you guys this thing. Do you know the ABCs? That's exactly and that's what's good about that too. Yeah, because she knew what I said she did She doesn't she doesn't want to share it. Yeah, she went to brag And so I'm grateful for my mom you know me and she has her Door the explorer haircut, which is pretty cool. I like it. Yeah, so pretty. Yeah, did you die in what's going on with your hair mom? I like your hair. It looks really nice. Yeah, very nice Jules is growing up, you know Yeah, your hair's gotten so long too long are you gonna keep it going? How long down like down to the floor? But oh yeah, why you think that looks good? Maybe you look at it. Is that a thing in Filipino culture to have really long hair? Yeah, like girls always have really long hair. Yeah, you have like a share of thing going on. We're gonna share. Sure, yeah, remember share She's not dead. You remember share No, it's still alive Lee Bono No, no Sunny Bono oh sunny bono remember a tree killed him a tree killed sunny bono a Tree he was skiing he was skiing and it you know, he had a tree. I hit a tree Anytime Which if you've ever gone skiing is pretty hard to do To like hit a tree and die. Yeah, because it's easier to avoid them if you've skied before. Yeah, yeah, right? Wasn't he like a good skier? Burn, burn real burn mom. I've been seeing a girl for eight months It's never mind Not in the she's not Korean now very sweet. She's white pretty. She's white though Yeah, me okay Over 50 I What kind of girl do you want him to be with? I'm not gonna say it. No, let's say it. You never gonna have one no a Korean girl You want a Korean girl. They don't like me mom. Yeah, they do you don't try I try all the time you don't try with Korean girls Korean girls don't like me. He likes white girls. He doesn't go for Korean girls. I know I like a lot of Korean girls They don't like me Bigoshita, they think I'm bigoshita. What does that mean hideous ugly? Yeah, bigoshita. I got it I'm big you see you just look like me. No, no, no, I look like dad dad was bigoshita. No, yeah, yeah You're the pretty one and mom look dad Steve looks like you and everyone goes I look like dad and dad was ugly He wasn't ugly you have your mom's he was I have your humor Yeah, he has your brains and your heart and your heart and he's got his father's body knows about me Yeah, see I can feel it. Steve's a lot more like dad Steve is our brother my brother. Daddy's very smart man. I mean twist the mark. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like you I'm street smart. No, I know You're bringing my family, okay? What you got brain. I got a brain. Good brain. Yeah, you respect your mom, but the good brain Well, yeah, that you have to do. Yeah, I respect my mom. You better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Do you sing mom? I don't I never heard you sing growing up Going up like sing do you sing? Oh? Yeah I don't like me sing. No, yeah, I want to hear some singing I sing all by myself because I want to you know, don't forget the in the lyrics and yeah, yeah, what you sing Will you sing right now raising me up? No, I'm looking please raise me up. Are you raising me up? Yeah, come on come on I don't I don't remember Hey Oh Hey You don't like it You raise me I She got the wrong one You raise me up. Yeah, you raise me up. Okay. Okay. Let's go. Ready I am down and all my so you can put it in there We tried I tried yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah What is the first one? Is this my Josh Grob in the one you have over there? We go ready You raise me up So I can stand on me Oh I'm on your shoulders You raise me up Yeah Thank you bad friends for 300 episodes. We love you. I hope we do 300 more maybe more than that We really appreciate the fans. We love you guys so much Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being here for that Okay