I’m having sex dreams with Eli

You're gonna figure it out In your dreams Goodnight Owen Thiel Well we have Eli on the podcast I'm so sorry I botched that intro Because I looked at you and I was so excited That you were here And then I was like wait I have to just get into it Hi I am such a fan of yours I'm such a fan of yours And I think people watching will obviously Have do listen to your music And are obsessed with you But if you don't know Eli, you will and you should. And she's unbefucking leaveable. Thank you. Your voice is like you're once in a generation talent. Do you think this? I actually do think this. Do you think this about yourself? I think it too. Do you like, do you? No, I'm serious. Are you? Well, you unclipped the mic. Sorry. Can you imagine the whole time you can't hear you? Are you like happy with the way you sound? Sorry. Am I happy? Sorry. am I happy with the way I sound yeah I think I am well it took it was a journey I think growing up with like XY chromosomes my voice changed and I was very like disconnected with it for a second and then I was like wait it's so sexy to have like a rich female voice it's so it's so it's literally so your voice is perfect thank you who okay let's start at the beginning that's very nice thank you thank you thank you thank you you don't have to say that on this podcast okay we're confident on this podcast actually that's the opposite of what this podcast is um okay let's start at the beginning and end at the end okay that makes sense do you know what i mean that's that's kind of how things work well stage girl is your ultimately is a is a performance no okay tell me it's real it's so real to me well yes yes but you you've been a stage girl for a very long time right right oh thank you yeah i think i have forever um stage girl is kind of the person you are before you get on the stage is the idea. You know, very Hannah Montana. You're on the right part. Right. I know. Literally, this is just like, well, this is, this is my Pinterest. I know. Of course. Of course. Every video that your aesthetic is very Y2K. Right. Right. Right. Doesn't it feel that way? No, it does. It does. So I feel like you on this bed is like, that makes sense. It makes a lot of sense. It does. Okay. So let's talk about you growing up a singer. So you were always a singer? You always wanted to be this? I thought you didn't ask questions. I don't, but now I'm like, can I be honest? Once I have someone on the podcast that I actually want to know things about, I'm like, okay, I just want, now it's just me asking questions as a fan. So I'm like, tell me. Sorry, my phone's on because I'm a rude cunt. You can just take a call if you need to. I go, hello? 10% of my agents. I am definitely like the person who like came out of the womb and wanted to sing sort of thing. I mean, also we like grew up in a time where everything was just like brainwashing you to be like ego, ego, ego. I'm important. I'm meant for more. I mean, the only show I watched was, I mean, these are the shows that I watched, but my big show was That's So Raven. Fire. And she was like, had a huge designer closet and could tell the future. I'm like, okay, that's going to be me. Like you aspired to be these like sick women on screen. Absolutely. But it's also, yeah, yeah. The aspiration is so beautiful. and I think like we need to own that and I think that's also part of Stage Girl 100% How long did it take you to make the album? I think it's been a year of making it but 25 long years of But that's it I feel like you I mean define making it because I always thought I was making an album but my label thought I was making an EP or a single but in my head I'm like okay I have an album called Stage Girl and it's been Stage Girl for like two years I would say in my head or no for a second it was this is really embarrassing please say it it was Glenda? no no no but I wish hey girl we love her an unbelievable voice by the way so good okay keep going what was it called? sing sister wait sing sister sing sister I was trying to like I wanted the words to compliment each other I was like, oh, S, S, like that, that's like cuter or something. It's more of like, I don't know. It didn't really make sense. But to me, I was like, they need to be like, they need to match. And I was trying to get the point across that this project is about a love, a deep love for the art of singing. And then also like embody my gender. Totally. And validate myself. Totally. And affirm myself. It is very James Charles Coden Sing Sister It's horrible, I'm sorry No, it's not horrible I actually like Sing Sister, it reminds me of a show Or a movie that Would have been on Disney Channel Like Cowbell's vibes Oh, that would be sick, yeah No, I guess it is kind of in line I think I'm just Stage girl feels so aligned with me That I'm like, anything else Would have been terrible For a second it was going to be American Idol was the name of it. This was like five years ago. By the way, iconic. But you just made the... That's the next one. Really? No. But you'd leak it on in your dreams. We're all thrilled to have that. But a lot of your aesthetic is kind of American Idol coded. No. But do you ever want to go on American Idol? Yeah, I auditioned like seven times. You did? Yeah, and I never got on. I auditioned for every single show. The Voice I auditioned for... The Voice was a crazy one because I got the producer audition where I like got to skip the line. Like they emailed me. They were like, babe, we saw your video on the internet, like come through. Where? TikTok? No. YouTube. You're posting YouTube? Yeah. You know, duh. YouTube kids covered. Show up. Right. Totally. Sing sister. Did you say sing sister? Sing sister. Okay. Keep going. So. No, but like, yeah. So you got, and you went in front of the producers and what did they, what happened? They were like, tell us about your trauma. And I was like, this is weird. I'm like 14 and this is making me uncomfortable. And then I like my trauma wasn't like sick enough. And then they were like, yeah, we don't like this story. No, I'm kidding. That's my, that's my guess. Cause I, cause you were like, the voice was great. Cause I was like, bitch, I fucking sing down. I sang hotline bling. I was like, I don't know when. It was like very Javaya. Remember her queen? Who's that? She was on the four. Oh, Z-H-A-V-I-A. Yeah. Wait. Did I just spell that right? You did! Can I be honest? Sometimes I'm a genius. You're so smart. Sometimes. Sometimes. Always. Um, no. Okay, so. Okay, so. Whoa. There were other ones too. I think. What was the other one? I don't know. X-Factor. Oh, no, I didn't do X-Factor. That one was cut. I have to tell you something. You were on X-Factor. I auditioned for X-Factor. Really? But we have to cut this, Cooper. Really? Because there's a video out there. No videos. Oh. But it's just insane. We have to cut it. We have to cut it. I just owned my truth. Yeah, but you're a musician. But it's embarrassing that I auditioned that many times. No, it's not. It's actually so cool. You want a billboard now with songs that everyone loves? It's like, fuck Simon Cowell. That's amazing. No, he's pretty problematic, I feel. Did you see him walking down the aisle of... I didn't like it. Did you see that? I don't know what you're talking about. Everyone hated on him on the internet. And actually, when somebody hates on people on the internet, I go the opposite route. He bullied everyone. He bullied everyone on that show. I know, but then he was doing a clap that everyone was making fun of. And I was like, you know what? He's being himself. Yeah, no, no, no. Someone being a bully in their past doesn't excuse making fun of the way. Were you a bully? No, I was bullied. Are you kidding me? Look at me. Do I look like I would ever bully someone? I'm like the epitome of bullyable. Not at all. I don't think talented people should ever be bullied. I think that's why they're bullied. Whoa. Oh, sit with that. Let's let that one. Let's let that marinate. We're going to come back with a quick break. No, I'm joking. I wish we could take breaks on the podcast. It would be so nice. Okay. So you were always a stage girl. Thank you. And then when did you move to LA and start- Your name is Beyonce. Thank you. Thank you. When did you move to LA? Thank you. I moved a year ago that's it? yeah so you were making the album where? here I lived in New York for a second was in love with a woman named Marianne which you may be familiar with the song if you claim to listen to my music don't even get me started it's one of my favorite songs ever in the world I think that song is gonna like I think it's gonna be my Pink Pony Club sorry I know that sounds a little cocky but I'm balancing it out like one second I'm like being pick me and then another second I'm like I feel like I've put in you know the 10,000 hours I feel like I've done that I feel like because I'm like from 10 years old to go like back to starting at the start and then from even before 10 years old I was like yeah like I'm gonna be a singer I'm gonna be staying on a stage and be under a spotlight and wear like a sequin gown and I'm going to sing my ass off and I'm going to like get paid for it. And I'm going to just then like, I don't know, have, have, have joy in my life somehow. New York or LA? I'm ready to let my hair down. Well, finally. New York or LA. I love the curls. Thank you. I've been condemned to a bob. What era is this? Why? Cause look at me. No, I love a bob, but why condemned? I don't know. I'm just insecure in hair that isn't like below my ass. Cause I'm like what's the point of having hair if it's not that long by the way totally right totally but i love a a cunty bob come on no i agree i agree i'm actually starting to see now i'm being negative again which is balancing it out i'm starting to love it i'm starting to love it you didn't when you might make you uncomfortable i feel like literally could not be making me less i was supposed to take my zoloft this morning and you didn't no i've been like get taking it later and later and later. Wait, what? You're not going to take it at all one day? I know. Is that what you're doing on purpose? No, no, no, no. It's like really good for me. I just, I don't, I don't take it consistently at the right hour. And then when it gets later, I'm like, oh, well, since I took it at noon yesterday, I should take it at noon now. And then eventually it's like 3 p.m. And I'm like, okay, I have to take it now. So I take it at 3 p.m. And then if I take it at 3 p.m. tomorrow, I'm going to take it at 7 p.m. You know, like it just gets later and later. Wait But if you're taking it at 3pm You just take it at 3pm the next day But you're saying then 3pm rolls around Yeah and then I'm like oh wait It's 7 Do you want to come to a party tonight? I would love to please I need that I'm having a party You're having a party? Will you come? You're having a party at I'm coming Will you? Yes 100% Open bar do you drink? yeah do you I do what's your drink of choice recently dirty Shirley don't care what's in that you know a dirty Shirley a Shirley Temple with vodka like I'm real okay sorry I'm not gonna get a gin and tomic a gym and tomic by the way a gym and tomic is like very it's like an animated show on Netflix you know what I mean gym and tomic you know Tom and Jerry well of course that's where you're getting it from Thank you. Wait, clocked me. I love a drink. I mean, my whole thing is like I drink regular Coke. Oh, okay. Like I'm obsessed. Just Coke. Yeah, but... That's your drink of choice? No, but I'm just saying like a Shirley Temple is obviously... Oh, instead of the Diet Coke? Yeah, Shirley Temple is like... Diet Coke is not good. Wait, let's speak on that. Let's talk about it. Coke is delicious. Coke is unbelievable. So good. And I don't, I want to say to my audience, I think you should be healthy and drink water. That being said, though, I'm going to drink Coke. It's so good. Yum. I'm diving in. I have it like three times a day. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I just had the best Coke I've ever had at House of Pies. Wait, why? Why was it so good? Crushed ice? No, the ice was- Finally, we're into the questions that matter. Keep going The ice was like normal ice I would say So what made it so good? It was just like that Kind of like stereotypical Almost like senior center restaurant Not to house of pies But like well maybe I don't know The cup is just like plastic And it's like big And it's like It's got like a little It's like a bluish tint And it's like there's like little like squigglies all over it And it was just I think it was like the combination of the cup with the ice, then the Coke was just so carbonated. It was fucking on tap or whatever. It was fire. I don't like that kind of glass. Yeah, I don't either. But you need to try it because you have the straws. You're like... And it's... Oh, no! Okay, so you're coming today? Yeah. Okay, New York or LA? New York or LA? LA, definitely. Sorry, don't care. I wanted to be the girl who loves New York. Of course. I really did. I really tried. I tried so hard. I feel like you as a musician would love New York. I pretended I did. I also said that. I was like, yeah, no, like New York is just so like, it's realer. I'm like, I can't. It's just like, it's scary. It's overwhelming. It's overstimulating. It's disturbing. It's like, and it's beautiful. It's beautiful for millions of amazing people. And it's lovely to visit. I think if I'm like ever Bella Hadid status, I will be there and like live in New York. Like I'll be in my penthouse and I'll like pull my fits and live my life. But I'm not going to pay $3,000 a month to live in a shoebox. And that's just like, it's just like not livable personally. I completely agree. I went there for NYU. No, my God. Seem went to NYU too. You did? I was there for a week. No, me too. Well, I was actually three years, but I dropped out still. Wait, you were there for three years? You were in Clive? Yeah, I could have finished. I should have. Why didn't you baby? Because I never met Pharrell. Totally. I was waiting. I was like, when the fuck is Pharrell coming out? You promised me that. Totally. Like that's why. By the way, that video was a two years before I went. Oh, really? Maggie Rogers and Pharrell. And I was like, NYU will change my life. I was literally like, New York has Pharrell. No, that is the experience now. That's like the common, like that is how we view it. Because, sorry, I was touching your knee. I love it. I absolutely love it. So you didn't meet for El, so you had to leave. Yeah. I mean, I had like a Zoom with Jack Antonoff. Yeah, it was COVID. I was also, I went, I studied abroad in Berlin. So I was like Zooming him from this Berlin dorm that we were like locked in. Like we weren't allowed to leave. I am dead. Tell me about this. You were in Berlin during COVID? How was Berlin during COVID? Horrible, horrifying. Can I be honest? No one's ever told me this. Yeah. Berlin? I've never asked anyone how Berlin was during COVID. Well, that's the thing. Like if someone studies abroad, especially in Berlin, like they're gonna bring it up. And here I am. Like I didn't, like this was not on the roster for what was gonna be talked about today. No, of course it was. I need to tell you about Berlin. So was it what, you were there for what? It was six months. What? Isn't that a really long time? It felt like six years. Yeah, yeah. And you were making music there. I was making music, but alone. I wasn't really making music with like the techno. Berliners or anything which would have been cool but I didn't find them so I just I was in a dorm and they like the dorms were very strict because of COVID so like you basically just like stayed you like oh let's like take a 15 hour flight it wasn't 15 I don't know how long it was but let's take a long ass flight and then let's just like live in a dorm with our masks on but you could walk around you could walk the streets yeah you could but then no one's on the streets which may be fun maybe you got like an exclusive experience it's like when they shut down Disney World but they shut down Berlin for the NYU kids Who do they shut down Disneyland for anymore like someone just told me that that they disneyland was shut down for them oh for for she um wait what the brand yeah they were doing like a shoot in disneyland and so they shut it down and i had a friend who worked on the set it's actually very cool right okay let's go back to you making the music when you're in COVID. So you now know how to, do you make all your own music? Mostly, yeah. You produce everything? A lot of it. Whoa. Yeah. Did you work with anyone for this album? Yeah, I worked with, and let's remember the names. Jason Vance Harris, he's my roommate. He's a studio above my room, so I never sleep because he's always playing the biggest new pop song type shit, which is kind of fab. Who else does he work with? None of your business. No, he's like, I mean, he was just on tour with Beba Doobie. Come on, Beba Doobie. Clock it. Doobie doobie doobie doobie doobie do. Who else does he work with? He works with this really cool artist named Eli. I feel like my jokes are so bad. Okay, but no, he works with just like a lot of, like he's just like, oh, oh, I was going to, that was, you fucking cut me off. Joshua Sloan. You know Joshua Sloan. No. Okay, you will. You will. You will And clip this Wait Clip that Literally Cooper Clip that Wait what Joshua Salam What kind of music Country Folk Country What if you went Country I've tried And I will But I'm also like Babe Tired So tired Do you make music every day Yeah Every day Pretty much What Yeah You're writing Yeah I've got a lot to say For not a lot of time that's how I feel with everything that's how I feel like texting my boyfriend I'm like I have so much to say to you right now so who's your favorite artist? Ariana Grande ever? ever favorite song? I'm gonna say what it is but I feel like one day I'm really delusional I'm gonna meet her and she's gonna like I don't want her to know this is my favorite why? because you want her to why um i just feel like there are probably songs that she regards as more like her or something i don't know i'm really parasocial with her it's really bad um my i'll name three favorites i love better left unsaid from yours truly first album great i i you're not familiar or you are fuck but i love ariana grande right well you don't even know one song. Okay, so keep going. Keep going. Better Off is the one I was going to say. It's just, it's, it's just like, I just think it's like a very vulnerable song, obviously. It's beautiful. But it's, it's ugh, it's so. Is that a sweetener? Yeah. And it's, it's one of those songs that is just like, whenever I'm making a song, I'm like, make Better Off. Or like, you know, like, just like the sine waves and the beep boops and then her like lush, like stunning vocals and then like you hear like victoria monet in the back like giving a little riff and you're just like this is what dreams are made of this is what dreams are made of what's your third favorite you said three oh i think why try i know she thinks that one is really boring like she doesn't like to sing it live yeah i've seen every video she ever i know everything she's ever said to the public and in private are you a huge wicked fan i'm joking i'm joking um you don't have to be joking i think it's no i do because i need her to know that like if you're a professional like i'm a professional i'm also like hella normal like i'm not gonna be parasocial with you like yes i'm obsessed with you and like you are everything to me but i'll just like leave that to the wayside i'll just be like hey what's up hope you're having a lovely day thanks for everything i'm gonna go will you take a picture with her no what no i can't you can't because like never meet your idols but if you're gonna meet them be fucking chill be normal be present let it go who's an idol you've met that you're excited to have met um ador delano wait i love that oh okay fab wait is it okay that i did that you did what i don't know went under your covers you so you're you're meant to okay we're in a bed together my clothes will be by the way views i'll do it fuck it fuck it at this point um have you met anyone you don't say the names but that you're like fuck i i did not want to i do i'm so upset i met them any idols there was there actually was and i don't remember who it was no no but like i actually i just remember being i know i won't i won't i for once i will bite my tongue and it will be in this moment but i don't actually recall who it was i just remember having a visceral feeling of like oh yeah this is why they say like do not meet your idols fuck who was it i have to get back to you on that maybe i blacked it out or like it's like it's hard to access because it was really like triggering it can be like that because idolizing is like can be a beautiful thing and it can be a really fucked up thing you know it's really true yeah it's really true do you think people who idolize you or you're are you okay with fucked up yeah no are you okay with having parasocial relationships with your with your fans yeah because i think i'm in this place especially right now where i need it like i i have always been like a loner internet kid with not a lot of friends like out in the real world totally and i'm it doesn't feel like toxic parasocial it just feels like i'm like queening out with people on the internet around like a common goal or a common idea of like getting a trans pop artist to the top of the charts and to the top of the you know world like it could be anyone it could be anyone yeah yeah but it's gonna be of course but yeah i don't know i feel like we just like we have a lot to say to each other and i feel like like the thing i'm loving about the internet is like i was always scared to really speak my mind in general but on the internet as well yeah and this was the first year where i was like you know I'm going to click live on TikTok and I'm just going to spew and I'm going to say things that I will not say right now. But because this is more permanent. Not at all, actually. No, I am so afraid of TikTok live. I'm so afraid of going live, even though I'm, I think I'm an open book too. It's nice when you're craving a quick fast food, like I need to express myself, you know? Totally. Like don't expect, you don't always have to like paint Mona Lisa. You can just like go on TikTok live and just like blow your nose and like, I don't know. But would that be considered, this is me getting so annoying in the weeds. But would you, like, is that, this is what my dad would say, is that for someone or is that for you? It's for me. I agree. but my dad would think that social media is like he would argue that like if you go on TikTok live that you're doing it for someone else not yourself I think I well there you go philosophical I'm a philosopher you are but I would push back and I would challenge and that's just what philosophy is about like I think it's like it's really I mean if you're craving like validation or like being not even validation being like seen just like showing up and being like i'm here i'm queer or just i'm here you don't have to be queer but you probably should be but you probably are you probably are definitely eventually um which by the way men will not exist in like a million years totally yeah how often do you go live um well when i was making the album a lot of it was made on live. Wait, really? Yeah. Fully on live. Wake up. Wake up. I honestly like my fans who I call and I'm sorry. I love it. The Alliance because we're I love you. I'm in the Alliance of course. You're ready to form an alliance with me. I love that. Do you say that on tour? Yeah. You say welcome to the Alliance. I've never been on tour yet. Are you going on tour? Yes. Obviously. Oh my God. That's so exciting. I'm so excited. Is headlining tour? Yeah. This is crazy. Where are you going to, where are you performing? Like local Dunkin' Donuts across the globe. Totally. No. America runs on. Literally, America runs on Eli. It's going to happen. I am gunning for that Dunkin' Donuts. Like I need my shaken espresso. And you know, and you know, I camped out. I knew that shit was dropping. And I was so excited for the Sabrina shaken espresso. So camped the fuck out. Yeah. Oh, so you're like a fan. Of Duncan? No, no, no, no. You're like me. You're like a fangirl of people. Oh, yeah. 110%. I love that. I've never met someone like that. Well, here I am. Especially somebody who's like, I don't know. I mean, I've met people who are fans, of course. It's just so funny to be like in the public eye and also such a fan. Because I think people are like, oh, like I'm not supposed to be. And I think sometimes I get that. I'm like, oh, like maybe. No, but that's why I'm like, take a picture with fucking Ariana Grande. When I first met Sabrina, I talked to her. I was such a fan. I talked to her. I looked at her in the eyes and I said, I have to go now. And I walked away. And then I started crying in the car because I was like, why did I do? I should have taken a picture. But then ultimately now she's in my life in a bigger way. And I love her. And that's why now you're best friends with Sabrina Carpenter. Oh my God. Don't use the word best friends. It always scares me when you, You can't use, you know what I mean? Because then she could see this and be like, I don't like him. You know what I mean? I love her though. Yeah, she's so cool. She's the coolest. Okay. She's my best friend. Well, of course. I've never met her before. Who is your best friend in your head? Do you have a lot of friends? Yeah, you do. No. You do? No. You don't? No. No. I mean, I want to. I mean, I have a lot of like- Every time I see you out, you're always with a hundred people. Really? You guys are like crammed into a car. Like this is actually Eli in a nutshell. Eli's like walking past me. Okay. She's like walking past. I'm sitting down having a glass of wine with a friend. And I'm like, Eli. And she's like, hi. She turns around. She's like, hi. Oh, wait, I can't stay. I'm losing my friends. I'm going to lose them. And then suddenly you look down the block and there's a hundred people, a hundred people walking away. It's a field trip. And she's running after them. I'm like, what the hell? And then they all pile into one car. And what kind of friends leave you? Are they my friends if they're running away from me? Totally. chasing after them saying guys wait up yeah there you go so I didn't claim them I didn't say they were my friends they were my acquaintances no no no but you have a lot of friends I don't like this narrative you're pushing on me wait you why you want to have no friends no I don't I just want to be honest open and vulnerable with your community do you actually not have friends I have some great like core friends as you need like you just need like a best friend You need, you know, to talk to a loved one or a couple loved ones. And I have that for sure. I think I'm also learning that there can be different kinds of friendships. And like you don't need to. Literally, you don't need every like I crave like incredibly like emotionally intimate and intelligent relationships with all my friends. But some of my friends don't want that. and I need to accept that. Or like don't want to like queen out and talk about our emotions all the time. Or just not even talk about our emotions but just be like, you know, nothing is off limits. And I love a friendship where nothing is off limits because that's just like sister. I love that. I like like shitting in the bathroom while your friend cries. Oh my God. I like shitting in their mouth. Eli, that's a different podcast. Eli, that's going to be a different podcast and it's going to have an OnlyFans sign on the bottom. No, I totally love shitting in my friend's mouth. No, I'm joking. I've never done that, actually, but I want to explore. I don't. I hate poop stuff. Poop is, like, the scariest thing. I have OCD, so... And one of my, like, mean things is, like, I'm so scared of poop. I mean, as everyone probably is, right? Trust me. As a bottom, ultimately. Am I a bottom? I'm claiming that. Am I? My producer's nodding. She's like this. As a bottom, I'm very afraid of poop. But it's something you have to embrace. I have another question about poop. No. Wait, it was about friends. Oh, I'm realizing that I have a lot of party friends. Yeah. Do you? Will you bring a party friend tonight to my party? Yeah, can I? I got a plus one. My love. Fab. Okay. Yeah, definitely. I want more actually Party friends I don't feel like I have enough Can you have enough party friends? No that's the whole thing You need a hundred people to be chasing after See I think you need good I guess you yeah Well if you're gonna have a party friend They better have like seven other party friends Totally To bring to the party with all your party friends Totally because then it's a party with just you guys You don't want to bring just one to a party No you want to know everyone a little bit and not a lot. And you never want to know them a lot. So true. And I never will. And I never will. I love that you have one nail that's shorter. Is that an accident or on purpose? It's on purpose. Everything in my life is on purpose and deliberate and intentional. I got these after the second day. This one fell off immediately. Or fell off. I don't know what it did. Where did you get it done? I mean, we'll bleep the name. Are you trying to gloss nail spa? Yeah. Is it? Oh. Have fun with that. Oh. You know I used to have acrylics. I would wear them all the time. Oh, no. I didn't know that. Always. And I would go there and it was not good. My nail beds are very fucked. Yeah. How long have you done acrylics? Well, these are gel acts. Ever heard of those? Very much better than acrylics. Of course. I used to do that. You build the nail? Something like that. I used to build the nail. Something. but I've been doing it now since like January. I just feel like Ethel Kane in like a really fabulous way because there's one video of her where they're just like these long, long, like what are these stiletto nails? And I just was like, I want to be a demon. Totally. Totally. I love Ethel Kane. Me too. She is one of my ultimate stage girls. She is. She is. Have you spoken to her? Yes and no. Like in your dreams? Yeah. In my dreams. In your dreams. Oh my. I was like out of your dreams. You know that. The best song ever. That should be your theme song when you update. Well, I was going to say, you should make my theme song. Oh my God. I would love to. I would love to. I was watching some of the videos today. You know, prepare. Get to know. Get to know the work. Of course. And I was like, wait, I want to write a theme song for her. You literally should. Okay. I'd love to. Do you just, if I just said to you right now, like, write a theme song, you would be able to do it? I'm so confused with artists, I guess. I'm so confused with how music works. Like, what is your creative process? Like, do you have to, like, sit here with a notebook and, like, or would you be like, here's the song? Do you know what I'm asking? I know what you're asking and I think it's different for everyone, obviously. I mean, you're a creative. Like you have different unique creative processes. You're different. No, you're like, you're creative. I'm like thinking. You are. Stinking a bunch of posters on the wall and calling myself creative. That's creative, man. Totally. Here we go. No, like my mom would always be like, you're so creative. And I'm like, no, mom, I'm just gay. You know? Story of my life. Like. story of my life I got away with everything because people were like you unique I like oh it called gay You know what I mean Story of my life Literally Okay so what is your creative process like Well, you made it on live. You made your last album on live, so. Some of it. Some of it. Let's not say all of it. Okay. How many songs? I think I said all of it. How many songs? How many songs did I make on live? You made it like with the audiences. Yeah, I was going to. Oh, that was what I was going to say. Like, they deserve credit, writing credit low key. did they give you any lyrics no well no but it was like it was like hey i have this lyric or this lyric which one's better or like i i like should i be like or should i be like and they were like and i was like yes i just feel like it was very like i didn't enjoy like collaborating with one individual who didn't really even like was just like set up through music industry world and you're not you can't always like jive and queen out with someone who is like set up by someone else or by things that aren't you wanted more i wanted no i wanted i wanted honesty and an investment in me and i knew that anyone who's like commenting on my videos and like living for me and i'm living for them like it's a mutual like i think art half of it is how you feel about yourself or the introspection or the storytelling you want to tell but you're also like telling it I mean unless it's just for yourself but for me it's like the other 50% is the listener the person listening so it's kind of like so fab to just like do it in real time together yeah next album I'm gonna fly out 100 fans and we're gonna get a house in Malibu and we're gonna make an album You're going to have a hundred writing credits Yes a hundred party friends And they'll all become my party friends How does it feel to be Wait I want to tell you about my creative process Okay go Go tell me What did you say creative what I just keep like slurring my words I know I do too I think it's like My brain's not quite working Yeah it's my dirty Shirley's Actually my Vodka's not good Why not tequila Okay let's get back to your creative process I could tell you my tequila. Tell me your tequila story. I don't actually think it's like light enough for this podcast. But it was like one of those things where like, I'm never drinking tequila again. You know? And I was like 17 and it was just like all over my neck. Wait, the tequila was or the vomit was? Neither. Got it. Right. Anyway. And you told me you don't shit in your friend's mouth. Okay. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. My creative process. Thank you for asking. I would love to share this with you. I think. Wait, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm over it. Wait, wait. No, you have to. No, a magician never reveals her secrets. True. But okay, just give me a little something about your creative process. Do you write in a notebook? No, not really. I obviously like that would be awesome. Um, cause it would be like, so like, totally. I'm like, do you journal? Tactile and like human and like down with the earth, like touching dirt sort of thing. Totally. Um, I don't journal. I photo booth video myself and like cry or talk like every day just to the photo booth video, which is so much better than journaling. Wait, this is interesting. Why? I love this. Do you do that? No, but I need to start doing that. I kind of feel like everyone does it. You might be the only one who doesn't do that Wait I used to do that All the time when I was in middle school No offense You're like grow the fuck up No it sounded like I was shading you But it's a lost art form in my opinion I agree No it's a lost art form for sure And it can't be the phone It's gotta be the laptop You have to like feel it in your hands And then you watch them back? Sometimes if I need to or sometimes when you're like getting really close with a friend or a lover and like you're on your laptop, it's late at night you guys are like watching like something on the laptop and then you like click on photo booth and you're like ha ha ha, look at my life and then you just show all these videos of yourself crying and they never call you back has that happened to you? maybe, a couple times are you seeing anyone? no, but I would love to are you looking for love? I'm always looking for love I feel like I'm Flava Flav. Like ask me that. You looking for love? Are you? So my creative process is... No, I am really looking for love. I want... I want a girlfriend. I've decided. Really? Yeah. Marianne. Right. Bring it back. But not like that one because that one was all encompassing and unhealthy for me. I literally bought it for a second. And I was like, and this is good for views. I was thinking to myself, this is actually going to be big. You're like, keep this going. Yeah, I know. I was like. The camera's wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Make sure it's angled. Right. Zoom. Yeah, literally. Slow zoom, Cooper. Yeah. Oh, you want a girlfriend? Yeah, I do. I met this like gorgeous, gorgeous girl at a party. More of like a kickback. I didn't want to say it, but you did. More of a kickback. And I was like, yep, I met her. And then, no, I just was too awkward. I was nervous. I had freshly the bob and I didn't have like my long locks. I knew that she like knew that I had, I don't know. I just was very in my head. You knew that you had what? Had just cut your hair? I actually knew her from Hinge. Like we would like, we talked on Hinge like a little bit, you know. Eli, you're bearing the lead, my love. You met on Hinge. No, we didn't because I ran into her at the party. I didn't know she was going to be at the party. But you guys first met on Hinge. Sure. A couple exchanges. And she knew you. And I saw her on TikTok Live once. She goes TikTok Live too? Music. This is crazy. She's always, I mean, she's always. I don't know. I sound crazy. It sounded like I was about to be like, she's always doing this. I knew her like that, but I don't. I was going to say, I'm always dating musicians. But like, duh. Oh no, that's not good. It's not good because then they'll like use your lyrics against you a year later. Like Marianne, who I will not reveal who is the real one. Chapel Rhone. She used one of my lyrics in Marianne. like back at me and the song just came out and I'm just like, all right. So we're doing that. Okay. Period. Nice. I don't like it. It's not fun. It's not fun. I'm like, this is a big artist. I'm like, give me, yeah, she's big. So let's, you're looking for love. Oh, I would love love. You know what's, you know what actually we have to talk about. I'm so sorry. My hands are in your face. You know what? So what, what, what we have to talk about is when somebody knows you from a haircut, a hairstyle, cause you were just bringing this up. This is actually, no, no, this is actually trauma. Yeah. When someone knows you from a certain hairstyle, like my ex-boyfriend, I was blonde when I was with him. And then seeing him with my natural brown hair was triggering for me. So weird. I was like, you know me in a different light. Yeah. You don't, you don't get to know me. You don't get to know me in this era where I totally. Yeah. I agree. I totally agree with that. I just wanted to bring that up and bring that, put that into the space. No, I think that's the really, I think we don't talk about the energy of hair enough. I think haircuts can ruin your day, but also make you a star. 100. Hair theory, babe. Can you tell me, can you like on the record, what do you think my hair theory could be? Like what is, I'm still like craving like, what is hair theory? What is hair theory? You know hair theory. I don't. You don't. No way. What is it? Okay. It's like, it's kind of like the Halloween costume theory of like a pop star is like, you can dress up them as Halloween, like for Halloween. They look like they have this, like this look. Like I feel like Sabrina is these like gorgeous 70s wigs or these gorgeous curls and these just like perfectly manicured, gorgeous hairs. Chapel, obviously, the red curls. And I would say like my long curly hair, I felt very fabulous in, but I was getting a little bit tired of being like compared to Chapel because I was like, she's gonna like hate me. If she ever sees me in person, she's gonna be like, why are you looking like me? Like, I just feel like she like owns it so much, but maybe not. I don't know. Not at all. No, because everyone has like a bleach blonde bob and everyone does their own thing. So maybe I'm just like being a little bit like. So what do I think your hair is? Yeah, what do you think I could do? Like, oh, Amy is the perfect hair theory. The beehive, legendary. Right. What's Adele's hair theory? Kind of like a beehive too. And like they're like. I love her. She's so good. She's amazing. Yeah. I don't know. I like this hair. You like it? It's so cute. It's 60. It's no, it's 50s. I don't know. It's 30s. It's 20s. No, babe. I just named every era there ever was. It's 2025. No, but it's very 20s. 2026. Isn't it? What kind of, isn't this a very 20s thing? No, this is the future. Okay. Or it's the future. This is, this is me. Thank you. So I'm going to ask this question that's very research-based. What does your for you page look like? My for you? What's your algorithm? It's a really invasive question. Totally, by the way. That's what I need to know. What color? Your panties. Like, I'm not telling you, bitch. By the way, it really is an invasive question. But this is how I get to know someone. I bought new underwear for this podcast You did? Yeah Why? You thought you were going to show it? I just knew like it was like We get in bed Like I don't know You never know babe So that's why you watched To make sure You watched some episodes Because you were like Yeah I couldn't find I couldn't find the episodes Where you sleep with your guests I'm pissed Sorry I My For Your Page has What is on the phone? my for you page. I feel like it's like just like Ariana videos. Like honestly, like just like concert videos. Wicked? Yeah, I'm getting a lot of Wicked content. Thank goodness. And I've been so excited about it. Do you know, thank goodness, the song from Wicked that she sings? I'm really excited. But do you see her live doing it? No, I don't think I did. Sit with this. Yeah? It's amazing. I don't know why in my head you were making up a song and you were trying to catch me in a lie. You're like, have you heard thank goodness? And I was like, for good? And in my head, I was like, oh, like, he's really like trying to catch me in a lie. Like, I'm so paranoid right now. You think that's me? That's what I would do to you? I think you were trying to make me look like a fool. Like, I've been talking how much I love Ariana, how badly I want to open for her. Oh, you've never said that part. Well, now I am. Do you want to open for her? Yes, of course. She's not even, she's never going to tour again. She's literally touring this summer. You don't. caught you made you look she is wait that was you can hit a high note no that was a whistle wait do you want to know something yeah you can whistle note the other day I was on set of a Bailey's cut the scooper actually leave this in I did a Bailey's ad the other day humble brag do you know what Bailey's is the liquor the liquor Irish cream Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yum. Delish. Oh my God, you died for it. We have the same taste. I know we do. Okay, and they made me do, because it's Christmas, they made me do like, nailed it. Yeah, you did. Can you give it? No, I can't do it right now. Okay, no, that's fair. That's fair. I hit that shit. I actually 100%, I know you did it on the first try. It was amazing. And I'm not even just being nice to you because you're letting me sit here across from you in your bed. Shut the hell up. Like I actually, you just did it like three times. You can whistle. no I actually can't even do that okay I can um yes but I really fucked myself up doing it why because I did it like in a very like it was almost like I had like I was like I think I gave myself chronic acid reflux from hitting whistle nose because I wait what do you mean I'm crazy because I think I just like forced my parts of my like diaphragm in my throat up here and like muscles I'm not supposed to and then I think it kind of just like contorted something like a little bit of so there's a lot going on now but can you do it now? No I'm not going to and I never will again. But will you do it like when you're performing? yeah I mean I'll stay like c5 or c6 what is that like the note c but like the one that's like now is in whistle territory but it's still like I'll like whine it like I'm not gonna like do you know what c6 is from the tiktok video where like that's what my fucking for you page is it's just Ariana b flat 5 and I'm like yeah she fucking hit that that is my whole for you page too I love those videos I do too and it's cool when it's like jumping between it and you're like oh it's amazing it's amazing flappy bird flappy bird it's amazing um okay so that's your whole for you page pretty much i mean i also i'm i'm like who am i who am i living for i mean i like i feel like i get i feel like alex consani is like always on my page because i'm just like oh i wish i was her she's so hot and cool she's so hot she's so funny and she just embodies like like like i'll be literally the model of the year and i'll be hilarious and i love that because people want to take themselves seriously and people want to be boring and people want to act like they're not fangirls callback and you are bitch everyone is a fangirl huge so how would you describe this era of eli like today yeah zoloft free zoloft for you fucking raw dogging this depression, anxiety, OCD, schizophrenia. We're going to do a, we're going to play a little game, okay? Okay. I'm sorry. About Y2K. It's not a game. It's more just questions. What trend do you miss? Silly bands. I miss having a lot of silly bands. Silly bands on your wrist. Yeah. One time my dog ate one of my favorite silly band, the guitar silly band. And I went through his poop and found that guitar silly band. And I put it back on my wrist. Are you lying? I think maybe. But I think I did put it on my wrist. I definitely was in his poop. And it definitely was taken out of the poop. How that was done, I don't recall. It may have been my mother. Great mom. I was very upset. It was a guitar. I think it was rare. I think it was sparkly. It was everything. But wasn't it chewed? No, it was like, I mean, it's like like a silly man. Yeah, it's a silly man like that thing. That's never gonna degrade Into the earth or into your body so, oh so you put it back on your wrist. Okay, so that's a true. That's I I was never big on those but I loved how they looked on other people's wrists There was a girl named who had tons of them on her wrists in high school and she looked like so like cute and like she always carried a coffee even though not in high school in elementary school yeah it was all the way yeah that was cool so cute ali wood she had that she was like so cool i was like wow how do you have that many how do you even do that so cool and trading them that was everything that was like those like little like chipmunk erasers you know what i'm talking about were you webkins yeah i loved webkins but i never knew that you could like log on to like computer i just like had the stuffed animals. I didn't know that there was a whole world out there You bought the animals for like and you didn realize they connect to the internet Yeah it was a little bit There were a lot of things So you just thought it was a labubu? Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. I just would snuggle up to my webkins, but I didn't know that. Yeah, I could play with them on the internet. That would have been really fun. I do regret that a little bit. I don't have many regrets, but that is one of them. Totally. this interview is a regret shut up shut up when's more music coming very soon really well I guess maybe when this is out it will already be out so then in that case soon still yeah I think in a perfect world I will be releasing music nonstop what I will say is actually what's way more honest is that I will release music when it's been like made and at least right now I'm so grateful that I'm in like this like flow state of creativity where I just like constantly want to make music and want it to be heard and I'm sure there'll be an era where it's like I need like a year to like do ayahuasca and like suck dick and like totally by the way I'm in yeah I'm like totally yeah and then yeah and live your 20s and live my 20s and live my 30s. I don't know. And I'll just like take time off. I'll take time off because I also, yeah, I don't want to just like be like a robot, obviously. Who does? Maybe some people do. But I think I just want to in this moment right now, as far as I can tell for like the next two years, I just want to keep sharing the stories and the sounds that I've created in my bedroom and put them, get the bedroom songs in stadiums and arenas. Are you a Swifty? No. Are you actually not? I'm not. I'm sorry. No. Okay. Well, I love Folklore and Evermore so much. So, so much. Like deeply. Like deeply. Like it's every year it's on me trying to like mitigate what I just said. You're backtracking because you're scared? No, but like genuinely it's like at the top of my Apple Music replay every year. Top of it. Top of it. Top of it. So don't try to come from me because those two albums have some of the most beautiful songwriting in the world ever. And lush, gorgeous vocals. I'm also just like always team like layered vocals and that's what she's giving. Honestly, like I only really get that from those two albums personally. Maybe I just haven't listened attentively enough on other records but I was also just like at the time of 1989 like I was so deep in the Ariana rabbit hole that I didn't I don't think I even had capacity for Taylor Swift let alone like waking up and making my bed and like going to school like I was very much just like staying in the bed and watching Honeymoon Avenue tour videos so I'm that with Taylor Swift Okay, are you upset at me? No, I think everyone should I think we should all coexist Yes And I think that everyone should have their pop girl And I think as long as it's a pop girl, we're all living Do you get what I'm saying? 100% Do you know of any honorary pop girls? I had this conversation yesterday, I think it's a good one What does that mean? Like, Adrienne Lenker is an honorary pop girl At this point Never mind, okay, this is a stupid point No, no, I get what you're saying, I'm trying to think Elliot Smith is an honorary pop girl now I'm so lost I'm never even more lost yeah hey honorary pop girls Elliot Smith it's like really meta who okay no I think I think that should have just stayed in my bubble like in me in my room talking to yourself about that. Me last night trying to think of bits I'm going to have with Owen. Ah, honorary pop girl. That's what I'm going to bring up. I like honorary pop girl. I'm just confused about the Elliot Smith of it all. My case to that one would be like Phoebe Bridgers is a pop girl. Like honorary pop girl or maybe pop girl because how massive. Like Phoebe Bridgers in 2021 to me was like the epitome of pop star at the time, I feel. Do you know that I went to school with Phoebe Bridgers? No. Really? are you from LA? wow that's so cool she opened for me back when I sang you made her I always say that Punisher wouldn't exist without Owen Thiel what made you want to have her open for you because I'm trying to figure out how to make someone want me to have them can I be totally honest? she didn't open for me we existed on the same we were both we were both billed on the same thing and her name was before mine opened and so I go hey guys she opened for me and then my dad actually said that it's because when people are looking at a poster they want to see her name like your name goes to hers and then yours you know what I mean they're like looking down the list so they're like Phoebe Richards we have to go and then they're like oh and I don't know who that is so my dad actually cleared that up do you want to talk about that a little bit more I'm sorry it's totally fine it's shaped me look at where I am it's shaped me but yeah so let's do a campaign for you to open for Ariana. Okay. I think hashtag Eli for Ari. I've thought of this one. Eli for Ari. Yeah. Eli for Ari. I feel like it rolls off the tongue now. It doesn't. Eli for Ari. It's too like... Okay. Can you think of... Can you... Instead of just like knocking me down, can you like lift me up a little bit? Why I knocked you down is because I would never write Eli for... Oh, I get it actually. Three letters. Three letters. Four. Four. Letter four. The four. Okay. No. I know that that brain can think of something better. And do you have her number? No. I think you do. I don't. I think you have someone's number who has her number. Wait, I actually have such a good story. When I was 12 years old, I used to, well, I don't want to talk about that. But when I was 12 years old, I would sing on the internet. And I happened to be followed by an amazing personality comedian, now like model everything, Ricky Thompson. And I used to spam every day saying, please, please, because we followed each other. So I knew that like they would see my whatever, my DMs. And I was like, please, please, please like show Ariana my music. Like, please show her my voice. Like, please show, like, I'll do anything. Like, and I went back and I saw the screenshots, screenshots from my iPad. And it's like terrifying. Like, it's like nonstop every day. Like, I don't know why I wasn't blocked. Like, it was so horrible. And then I never saw Ricky. Like, I never met Ricky in person until I was living in New York. And we went to some random, weird, like, cool party that I shouldn't have been at and ran into him. And I was like. What did you say? Does he still follow you? No, no, no, no. I didn't bring it up. He did. He was like, that was so fucking annoying or something. And I was like, I'm so sorry. And he was like, no, it's so fine. And it was hilarious. And it was like. Wait, does he still follow you? I don't know. I don't think so. I would hope not because I don't deserve a follow. How does he know Ariana Grande? I think she just like was really fucking with him. Wow. Like just like living for him. And I just like want to know what it's like to like be like chosen by her. and I think my life's goal is to like it is my Glinda like her Glinda like dream like when since she was six years old being like I want to play Glinda I've since I was six years old I was like I want to sing with Ariana Grande I want to open for Ariana Grande on the Eternal Sunshine Tour I said that when I was 12 years old I knew I saw into the future were you um that's so Raven well of course were you was there do you think her voice shaped yours Oh 100% Yeah I think I think I learned A lot about like my Before I was like deep in the Brandy of it all it was like I was listening to her for her References which was like Brandy Imogen Mariah Beyond And I was just like All absorbed Brandy's amazing So good I have a shrine to her I know I know angel no up oh another shrine you see wait there's a picture frame sorry i got distracted well of course another shrine right next to ari you can't see it where you're sitting my back hurts you'll see it later you'll see it later ah see it i saw her in the beautiful dress in the cinderella of course i have never seen this i keep trying to watch it and i keep forgetting i'm this is a reminder i have to watch it you've never seen cinderella brandy with no No, but I know. I feel sick. I know the moment I watch it, which is like clock is ticking. I'm going to watch it soon. Me too. Were you like, were you a little shit stirrer in high school? No. Did you talk back to the teachers? Why is that what it's giving? No, no, no. It's giving that in the best way. It's giving like, I'm a rebel. It's giving like divergent rebel. like radio rebel like I went into the Disney office and I said I want to make his three totally um I think like I think like I definitely have that in me like a lot like my mom would call me like a sassy girl or like prima donna or like diva and like would just like be like girl stop and she was so valid because I would like call her a cunt and I'd be like I'm so sorry I didn't mean to do that. It was an accident. It only happened once. It was bad for us, but we worked it out on the remix. I'm having so much fun. I think I'm killing this. I just know that I'm not. You literally are killing this. You think? Yeah, you're doing amazing. Oh, thank you. Can I ask you my big question because we've been going for an hour now? Yeah, but I wanted to talk more about high school. Okay, talk more. Rebel. No, I just was going to answer your question because I think you should know I didn't have friends in high school and that's where the like not having friends things is like I really want to rep that or like own that because I think it made me who I am now like I was very isolated and I like ate lunch in the bathroom and like I was scared yeah and I was like scared of everyone at my school and I was like very repressed and like and but yeah like before that like elementary school girl I was fucking shit up I was insane I I went on the teacher's shoulders on the last day of school. I was like the king. I was like, ah! And then what happened? Puberty, depression, childhood trauma. And wait, there was one more thing. Middle school. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What? And I'm so sorry for that. And by the way, the music eats down because of it. Yeah, it does. Thank you. What's your big dream? My big dream? It's a really good question. Truly, my big dream is to feel like a sense of security and gratitude and commitment to like the life of an artist. in like a fruitful life as an artist like constantly like being curious about new um artistic ambitions I have and the security being in the fact that I know that I'll be able to like pay my rent and like hopefully like have a dog and like take time off sometimes and maybe like even like get to know someone enough that like they fall in love with me totally that's my dream sustain myself with music and know that to be able to do this as a career to do this as a career and then like beyond that like I really want to play the Xfinity Center in Massachusetts where I got called a f*** when I was 16 years old because I remember being like I'm gonna come back here and I'm gonna stand on the same stage that Post Malone and J-Lo stood on is that what you were watching? yeah it was like it was always like a random show that I would go to like there was like this yard that like all the like cool kids would go on and I was trying to fit in and I clearly didn't. And then I like left and like, oh, like I like snuck in like vodka in my butthole. Was it a little flask or was it a big bottle? No, I'm kidding. It wasn't in my butthole. It was in a pull and spring bottle just like in between my cheeks. So it was in your asshole. It was more just like It was more just like on the waistband If I'm being so honest I don't think it was in the cheeks But maybe like a little bit I needed like you had to get in the alcohol Like you needed to be drunk So why were you called a f*** When you snuck in everyone alcohol Literally Maybe because they fucking did They saw me take it out of my asshole They were like I don't want that I'm kidding not really that's a beautiful big dream yeah I want to play Xfinity Center and I want truly in this moment right now and I think this will exist and continue to exist but like the dream of someone that I was going to say lobotomizes the dream that doesn't make any sense I mean, that's me right now, by the way. The dream of someone who lobotomizes. That's kind of me. The dream of someone who embodies everything that matters to me about artistry and creating a space for people to be safe and not only be safe, but explore themselves and expand upon themselves and carry that into their daily life outside of a concert, outside of putting your headphones in on the train on the way to BC High when you have to go to an all boys school and get called a faggot by everyone. But you're like, I'm a girl, like get me out of here. And it was yours truly. And it was Ariana. And like, so the dream is like to feel that sense of like you. Community. That community. And then like, I'm watching like all these amazing artists that I admire that are all like in this LA world, like up and coming pop girls, like be put on by their idols. And so like, like seeing like Addison open for Lana, like it's so- The Gracie to Taylor pipeline. It's so affirming. It's so cool. And I think that's a really special thing about like generations of pop acts that, you know, it would be really, really special. That's a beautiful big dream. Yeah. And can I be honest? It's not, it's, we can, we can dream, but it'll, it'll, it'll become a reality soon enough, my love. Wait, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me You just in the middle of talking Do you even know that you do this Where you just riff a little It's so pretty Sorry Thank you that's so nice Okay We look into this camera And we say goodnight I love you Eli thank you for coming on You're naked You're like oh my god no wait My tits are out. Ready? Three, two, one. I love you. No! No, good night. I love you. Okay, sorry. Ready? Three, two, one. Good night. I love you. You're gonna figure it out In your dreams Good night, Owen Thiel