Skrýmir and the Contests of Utgard (Norse Mythology #3)

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Let Coup help you show up feeling rejuvenated and ready to go. Get 20% off your first order and try Coup risk free with a 100 night sleep better guarantee at Coupsleepgoods.com slash get sleepy. That's C-O-O-P sleepgoods.com slash get sleepy. So you want to start a business. You might think you need a team of people and fancy tech skills, but you don't. You just need GoDaddy Arrow. I'm Walton Goggins and as an actor, I'm an expert in looking like I know what I'm doing. GoDaddy Arrow uses AI to create everything you need to grow a business. It'll make you a unique logo. It'll create a custom website. It'll write social posts for you and even set you up with a social media calendar. Get started at godaddy.com slash arrow. That's godaddy.com slash A-I-R-O. Welcome to Get Sleepy. So we listen, we relax and we get sleepy. I'm your host, Thomas. Thank you so much for joining me. Tonight I'll be reading to you as we return to our excellent Norse mythology series written by Frankie. In the first two installments, we got to know Loki and his mischievous behaviors very well, alongside a whole host of other mythical figures from the Nine Wilds. This time, we'll be in the company of Thor and Loki, two of the most accomplished and impressive of the Norse gods. Despite their reputations, during tonight's story, these two learn the lesson of humility. We'll join them on an adventure to Jotunheim and an evening of contests with their hosts. For ad-free listening, access to our entire catalogue of episodes and to hear our weekly premium bonus episode. Why not try Get Sleepy Premium? It's the best way to support the show and you'll get a seven day free trial when you first sign up to make sure you're happy. Tomorrow night, Nicky is back to read us a beautiful meditation designed to help you release fear and anxiety, leading you to a good night's sleep. For more information, just head to GetSleepy.com slash support. I'll pop the link in the show notes too. Thank you all so much. Now my friends, our story begins with a search for shelter for the night. But before we dive in, we too must make sure we have the perfect place to rest our heads this evening. So, curl up in your warm blankets. Allow your breathing to slow. Finding a pace that remains natural and consistent. Not one that just helps you to relax and unwind. That bit more. This is the time to release completely. Physically relax into the bed. Allow your limbs to become heavy. And let all the tension drain from them. It's also time to release mentally. Enjoy the feeling of letting all the worries and cares of life drift away. There is nothing you need to do. Nothing to prepare, hold, or think about right now. There is only the need for rest. Few times during the day do we seem to be allowed to be focused on ourselves and our comfort. So ensure you take the time to do so now. These moments are precious, allowing us to set the path for our most peaceful sleep. Now, you are ready. Draw into your mind the image of a snow covered land. The white snow is painted with the colours of sunset. And amidst the glittering crystals of frozen water, there are three noble figures. This is where our story begins. Though the snow is nearly waist high, the three figures walk through it, as if it were as insubstantial as fog. Their breath creates little clouds in the air before them. In front walks Thor, the god of thunder. His red hair and beard shine like fire in the warm rays of the sunset. On his bout is his hammer, and in his eye is a determined look. Behind him walks the young hero, T'Alfi. He is Thor's bondsman and companion. Despite his youth, he is the one that Thor will often go to for wise counsel. T'Alfi is also incredibly fast. He can run faster than any of the gods. Finally, the figure sauntering in the back is Loki. His dark, playful eyes dart here and there, always on the lookout for entertainment and mischief. Night begins to fall, and just as the three travellers start to consider the prospect of spending the night in the snow laden land, they spy the warm light. They stroll swiftly towards the building. It isn't long before they realise that this is not some mere hut or even a small village. It is a large and grand fortified castle. It is the great castle of Utgard in Jotunheim. The castle itself is well made and built to hold many people. While the myths and legends that would grow in Midgard amongst the humans were one day called Jotunheim, Giant Land, the Jotna are no larger than the gods themselves. Yet, this castle is large enough to fit many hundreds of people, and from the sound pouring out, it seems to be filled to the brim at the moment. Thor and his companions enter Utgard and come to a huge hall filled with feasting warriors. They make their way to the head table and present themselves to the lord of the castle. He nods in recognition to each of them as they introduce themselves. He is called Skrimir, and he has heard many tales about these three travellers. He welcomes them to share in food, drink, and the warmth of the fire this evening. The three companions thank him and take their places at his side, at the head of the table, as is the right of guests. Thor listens to the chatter of the other warriors in the hall. They are telling stories of their great deeds and feats, and he feels compelled to join in. Thor weaves a tale of strength and bravery, even pulling out his hammer, Mjolnir, to illustrate the finer points of the story. Loki, not to be outdone, also launches into a tale of his deeds. He recalls feats of great cunning and trickery. When the gathered warriors nod and show appreciation for the stories. The master of the castle, Skrimir, pipes up. He says loudly that he has heard these stories and more, but a story is just that, words and nothing else. He wonders aloud if his guests would be willing to have a few friendly competitions, to prove they are indeed as great as the stories say. Thor and Loki immediately agree. Although wise T'Alfi is more hesitant. He has been racking his brain since they arrived at the castle, trying to remember the nickname that Skrimir goes by. He is sure that it's important. However, once Loki and Thor agree, he has no choice but to do the same. The three companions have yet to eat or drink anything, having spent so much time telling stories. Skrimir tells them that they may have some food, if one of them can win an eating contest, with Loi. A warrior with hair even more flame red than Thor's, stands up and declares himself to be Loi. In Asgard, everyone knows that the fastest eater is their own Loki. His plate will be clean before anyone else has picked up their knives. His appetite is prodigious. He eats five times more than any other god. The cook in his own dwelling never stops working from morning until night, in order to satisfy the constant appetite of Loki. The god of mischief stands up and accepts the challenge, confident that he will easily best this stranger. Loki laughs to the red-haired warrior that though their names are so similar in sound, there can only be one winner in this contest. Huge piles of roast meat are brought out for the two contestants. Loki, who has not eaten since they set out this morning, is particularly hungry. He stares greedily at the pile of food, mounting in front of him. Only when the great table is creaking under the weight of all the food, does Skrimir call for the contest to begin. Loki gobbles, munches and masticates with a speed that Thor and T'Alfi have never seen before. They are so busy watching Loki that they completely miss the speed at which his competitor is seating. It comes as a huge surprise when Skrimir suddenly calls the contest over. The three companions look around to see that T'Loi has eaten his mountain of meat, as well as the bones and even his wooden plate. Meanwhile, the god of mischief has barely eaten most of the meat, not even finishing that completely. Skrimir, with good grace and only a hint of boasting, calls for portions of food for Thor and T'Alfi. He commends Loki on his attempt, but assures him that no one could have won that eating contest. Thor, proud as only the god of thunder can be, sits and stews on the loss while he eats. Once he finishes his meal, he calls for another contest to be held. Thor boasts loudly that he can out-drink anyone in the Nine Wilds. He calls for Skrimir to put forth his own challenger. Skrimir calls for servants to bring out his own drinking horn and to fill it with the freshest ice-cold water from the mountain spring. Skrimir tells Thor that no one can drain his drinking horn in less than three breaths. If Thor were to do so, he would surely be the most prolific drinker in all existence. The horn is brought out, filled to the brim with crystal clear water. It is without a doubt larger than most drinking horns. Even Thor has to hold it with both hands. But it doesn't look like it will pose a challenge for him. Thor puts his lips to the horn and drinks deeply. He swallows and gulps down the freshest water he has ever tasted. Thinking he must have drunk most of it by now, Thor pauses for a breath. But he is horrified to find that the horn has only been emptied by the smallest fraction. With renewed figure, Thor tries again. When he finally pauses for air, he finds that the horn is still well over half full. With one final attempt, Thor guzzles and chugs until he can drink no more. But only half of the drinking horn is empty. Skrimir calls for Loki and T'Alfi to have two drinks of water as well. Though Thor has not drained the horn, he is still impressed by the gods' skills. The three companions are now quite downcast. Twice now, they've been made to look like weak, pathetic fools. T'Alfi, who was at first so hesitant to take part in the contests, now calls for attention. He claims he can renew the honour of himself and his companions with a race. For no being on two legs is faster than he. Skrimir agrees and gestures to another warrior to come forward as T'Alfi's competitor. This warrior's name is Huye. The entire hall empties and heads out to the front gates of the castle. The warriors are eager and joyful, excited to see yet another competition. Even Thor and Loki have regained some of their good natures, knowing that nothing is faster than T'Alfi. Skrimir tells the runners that their track is around the mountain and back to the front gates of the castle. The runners prepare, the watchers hold their breath, and Skrimir starts the race. In the blink of an eye, Huye and T'Alfi are far into the distance, and curving around the great mountain that rises like a shark's tooth behind the castle. T'Alfi is dismayed to find Huye pulling ahead, then further ahead, and off into the distance. Huye is recovering his breath and waiting for T'Alfi when he arrives back at the finish line. T'Alfi calls for another race immediately. He must have underestimated this warrior. Again, they race, and this time, Huye beats T'Alfi by several seconds more. T'Alfi calls for one final race, determined to leave nothing on the track. Yet again, however, Huye pulls ahead. The young hero pushes his body to the limit, running faster than he has ever run before. And yet, Huye finishes with an even larger lead. T'Alfi, finally beaten like his companions, relents. Skrimir, however, is impressed once again. He insists that his guests stay the night in the best bedrooms, for they have more than earned their keep. He tells T'Alfi that no one could ever beat Huye in a race, but T'Alfi has come the closest. The company returns back indoors for the evening. It is well past midnight now. The men are more subdued, and the fires are stoked to keep the winter chill at bay. In the warm, pleasant atmosphere of the hall, Thor, Loki, and T'Alfi can almost forget their losses and enjoy their evening. Their host has been more than hospitable. The food has been excellent, and the drink plentiful. Loki remarks on such things, and even dares to say to Thor, who cares if we lost a few silly contests? It's as if a spark has caught and unleashed a wildfire. Thor can think of nothing else but his injured pride. He stands and calls to Skrimir that there must be one last contest. It will prove Thor's immeasurable strength. Skrimir agrees, but tells him that he must not use his magic hammer. This test is of Thor's strength alone. He agrees immediately, handing over the hammer to T'Alfi. Thor demands a wrestling match with Skrimir himself. Skrimir laughs loudly and proclaims that it would not be a fair fight. Thor may wrestle his grandmother, however. Not wanting to look weak or afraid to wrestle an old woman, Thor agrees immediately. Ellie, a bent and elderly woman, enters the hall at a shuffling pace. She slowly puts her cane down and prepares herself. At first, Thor begins to rethink his plan. But he can feel the eyes of all the warriors in the room on him. He must continue. Thor and Ellie wrestle. Rather than a frail old woman, Thor finds a grip harder than iron. He expected to be able to push her back with hardly any effort at all. Instead, he finds himself struggling against all the sturdiness of a stone wall. He pushes and strains for a long time, attempting to get the advantage. Eventually, and to his utmost horror, she starts to gain the upper hand. Like the inevitable grinding of a glacier down the side of a mountain, Ellie moves to subdue Thor. When she finally wins, it has been two long hours that they have been wrestling. Screamer cheers along with all his warriors. He claps Thor on the back in a friendly manner, telling him that he lasted longer than anyone else against Ellie. Thor, still tormenting himself with his loss, begs for one more contest, one more proof of his strength. Screamer gives in to Thor's insistence and agrees. He points to a black cat curled up next to the fireplace. If Thor can lift that cat, he will truly be the strongest being in the world. Thor, wise now that this might not be a normal cat, approaches cautiously. But the cat merely opens one orange eye and gazes at him. Thor grabs the cat around the middle with both hands and attempts to lift it. The cat is impossibly strong and does not budge. Thor changes tactics and attempts to lift the tail of the cat. The black tail whips back and forth, catching Thor around the middle and nearly knocking him over. He settles on attempting to lift one of the cat's paws. He strains and pulls with all his might. His great muscles bulge and tighten. He succeeds in merely lifting one velvety black paw a few inches off the ground. Once again Screamer is impressed. He leads the loudest cheer and congratulates Thor most sincerely. Upon seeing his three guests downcast faces, he tells them to go to bed. He promises that everything will look much clearer and brighter come the morning. Thor, Loki and T'Alfi trudge off to bed, feeling rather strange. They are disappointed in their losses, but cannot be upset with the kindness that their host has shown them. They settle into their grand bedrooms with huge beautifully carved beds and soft warm furs to sleep under. The next morning the sun rises over Jotunheim, this time covering the snow with a silver gold blanket of light. The ice crystals glitter like little diamonds and the warmth from the sun banishes any last morning mist hanging around the mountain. The castle looks just as impressive in the full light of day as it did the night before. Loki and Thor get up later than T'Alfi and find him already in the Great Hall. He is talking animatedly with Screamer at the head table. Loki and Thor drop into seats next to him. Excitedly, T'Alfi turns to his companions and tells them that he's finally remembered Screamer's nickname. The other two look at him in bemusement. T'Alfi tells them that Screamer is known as Udgard Loki or the Loki of Udgard. He gained his name for his reputation as a prankster and all three of them fell for his pranks the night before. Loki and Thor turn to Screamer for confirmation and he tells them that it is true. He promises to reveal to them how his pranks were done and that by the end they would have gained pride in their achievements rather than lost it. First, he calls forth Loki's competitor in the eating contest, Loi. Screamer waves his hand before the warrior and reveals Loi's true form, Fire. Fire consumes everything and there is no way that Loki could have beaten it. But he still managed to eat most of his meal before the fire was finished. They all think back to their memories of the eating contest. With Screamer's magic lifted, they can clearly see in their minds eyes the raging fire that consumed the mountain of food, the bones and the plate. Loki smiles at the memory. The god of mischief can now say that only fire can eat faster than he. Next, Screamer calls for his drinking horn. Once again, he waves his hand to lift the enchantment. They can all see that the bottom of the drinking horn leads to the ocean. Thor was not just drinking water, but drinking water from the sea. No one can drink all the seas of Jotunheim, but Thor lowered the sea level by half, a truly impressive feat. Their new memories show Thor swallowing mouthful after mouthful of the churning ocean. Hu Yi approaches and is revealed to be Thor'd. No one can run faster than Thor'd itself, and despite T'Alphy's valiant attempts to win the race, his thoughts would always race ahead. Screamer was careful to point out that T'Alphy, nevertheless, was only ever a few seconds behind. Ellie was the next to be revealed in her true form. She is old age itself, which no being, god or mortal, can beat. But Thor, god of thunder, held her off for the longest. The warriors in the hall cheer their approval at each new revelation. Thor, Loki and T'Alphy feel their dark moods lifting. What at first appeared to be shameful losses are in fact great feats that will be sung about for eons to come. Thor holds up a hand for silence and asks the last question on his mind. What about the cat? Screamer smiles and waves his hand. In their heads, the three companions recall Thor's attempts to lift the cat. Instead, they find him attempting to lift the wild serpent. The serpent resides in the sea around the world, so large that it encircles everything and bites its own tail. Thor was able to lift one part of the serpent, a feat that no one else would have been able to manage. Delighted with their own abilities, the three companions leave the castle of Utgard, thanking its master for his hospitality. Just as they are leaving, Loki tells him that his nickname of Utgard Loki is Well-earned, and he looks forward to repaying the pranks at some point in the future. Screamer agrees with a smile and sees them out through the front gate. The three travelers continue on their journey, less proud and more modest. Than they were the day before. The two companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The two companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The two companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. 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The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard, and the three companions leave the castle of Utgard. The three companions leave the castle of Utgard,