Wanda Sykes Returns

Hi, my name is Wanda Sykes and I feel indifferent about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined by my good friends, and I put that in quotation marks. Oh. Well, I'm sorry, your employees. Sona Movcessing, good to see you, Sona. Good to see you too. And you would be David Hopping, I believe. I am, yeah, that's correct. Thanks for being here, David. Sitting in for Matt Gorley on paternity leave. And Sona, I'm told that you had kind of an exciting moment recently. You went to... Exciting moment. Well, you went to Disneyland. Yes. Can I say I have been to Disneyland so many times. I've never seen anyone dressed up like Geppetto walking around. Right. And you do this bit about my dad. Your dad has a big mustache and he looks kind of... A normal mustache. He's a white haired gentleman with a white mustache. He always has reminded me a little bit of Geppetto. And I used to do a long riff about how he carved your brother. Yes. And, well, you know, we had some good times, meaning I was laughing and you were staring at me. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had a good time and that's called a good- Well, you also got into like, oh, Danny, my real boy. You're going to be my real boy. You're shortening it now. Well, Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah, Danny wanted to be a real boy. Yeah, he carved a puppet and Danny wanted to be a real boy and he was swallowed by a whale. Okay. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Yeah. But you had this moment. You sent me this picture that blew my mind. Yeah. You went to Disneyland. Oh, there it is. And tell the tale. Tell the tale. Well, Geppetto is just walking around. I don't know. And you've never seen a Geppetto before. I've never seen a Geppetto walking around. Because it's not a character. There's Goofy. Oh, there's Goofy. Oh, there's Mickey. Oh, there are some of the princesses from some of the newer movies. Yes. iconic figures. Geppetto. I know. Geppetto is a tradesman. Geppetto is a woodworker. He's got a, you know, and so I've never seen a Geppetto. Do you see Geppetto much? I actually haven't. David, you go. I live there. David practically lives at Disneyland. You never see Geppetto. You're walking and you run smack into Geppetto. Yes. And you know, what do you have to do? So I like immediately, shockingly, there was no line to go meet Geppetto. Oh, no one. No one wanted to hang out with the old Italian man who is a day laborer. I know. I'm like, Anna and Ilsa are walking around. Moana's walking around. And then they have Geppetto and no one cares about him. No one. He actually, when he walks into the park, they put him out when they want to get people out. When it's time to close the park, they say, release Geppetto. And he says, I'm making the puppet. I'm making the puppet. And people just go streaming out of the park. Yeah, they do. And then, wow, we closed right at six. Closed early, yeah. So I ran right up to him. And he's never had anyone do that. Was he curious as to why you were happy to see him? No, I think I was like, Geppetto. And nobody else was saying that. And then I went up to him and I asked if I could take a picture. and I put my armor in, like I interlock my arm around this. You're so happy in this picture. I'm so happy. And this is the worst thing that I did. And I sent it to you and a few other people. This is me hanging with my dad at Disneyland. I was so delighted because it proved to me that my riff is actually a pretty good one. This is what your dad looks like to me. I'm telling you, it does. It does. This is what your dad looks like to me. That's how my dad looks. He looks a lot like that guy. He just doesn't have the glasses on the tip of his nose. Yeah, yeah. But, I mean, that's what your dad looks like to me. Well, and then also, I mean, we kind of- Because my eyes turn everyone into a cartoon character. Uh-huh. That's what your dad looks like to me. So we cut him out of this picture, but Mikey ran in with me, even though Mikey had absolutely no idea who this was. And probably frightened. He just saw a big fuzzy man. Yeah, well, he just saw this big- Frightened. Well, Geppetto, look. Look at that guy. That's not something a kid goes, yay. Yay. He thought it was his grandpa. Yeah. Oh my God. I know. You know, he's a guy who's probably being driven out of business. You know? Yeah, because they're making puppets in China now that are much cheaper. Yeah. So Geppetto is a beleaguered figure now. And the tariffs are making his material really expensive. Tariffs are totally fucking over Geppetto. And Geppetto's like, what did I do? This isn't good. and then he goes to the store and there's tons of cheap puppets flooding the market that are from other countries you know anyway i hate uh you hate what don't hate your father no i love my dad i love your father my dad why did you say you hate your father i said i hate it when i play into your bits and you know as soon as i sent that text i was like why am i calling my dad geppetto you kind of threw your dad under the bus i did and i'm sorry to gil well i win because here's how I win. I got to see you link arms with Geppetto and call him your dad and you feel badly about it. And so, and your son is scared. I win on every level. Every single level. Well, congratulations. Yep. Oh my God. And if anyone wants to see that picture, you can go to Team Cocoa Podcast on Instagram and it'll be there for everyone to see. Yeah, it is. That should be your Christmas card next year. It really should. No boys. It's just me and Geppetto from Disneyland. All right. Well, very excited today. My guest today is an Emmy award-winning comedian, actor, and writer who stars in the new movie Undercard. She's an absolute legend. Wanda Sykes, welcome. But even the universe didn't want me to make it here today because my car broke down as I was leaving. It wouldn't start. So the universe was saying, don't do this. Why are you going? Come on, man. Why even the radio came on and music was jamming? It was like, isn't this cool just sitting in your driveway listening to some Sade? Why are we leaving? So your car has... Then the sun broke through the clouds. It's like, man, you're right. Wow, your car has a self-esteem function. Yeah. Do not lower yourself. She would rather sit in the car than be here. Yeah. Okay. Well, I want to say you killed me a couple of weeks ago. I don't know when this comes out, but you were on the Golden Globes and you destroyed me. You were so funny on the Golden Globes. Thank you. And you're just there and you're accepting an award for, I believe it was Ricky Gervais. Right. I was presenting for best comedy special. Yes. and you said afterwards, Ricky won and you had to accept on his behalf. And you said, I accept on behalf of God and the trans community. Thank God. I thank God. Thank God. And did you ever hear from Ricky? I have not. I've not heard from Ricky. Yeah, yeah. That was just fantastic. But you always are, you're just. But I would hope Ricky would got it. He got it. Yeah. Knowing him, you know, I don't know him, but knowing his work, I'm sure he got a good laugh out of it. He'd have been happy with that. Yeah. Or not, we'll never know. But it's a real gift to just be able to always be yourself. When you get up, you're always Wanda Sykes 100%. I mean, anytime I've seen you in your career, your comedic voice is so sharp and so you, and no one else can do that. And I'm thinking, when you were first getting up doing stand-up comedy, did you have access to that? it took me a while to figure out how to be this Conan guy up there. Right. And I'm wondering what early you would have been like, because I know you were getting up there in the probably 86, 87 around then. Right, 87. Yeah. I think we all start out like doing Seinfeld. You know what I'm saying? It's like observational comedy. And we, that's what I was doing. It was all about just writing jokes that I thought, hey, isn't it funny when, you know, this happens or whatever. But it was never about me or it like into my, you know, persona. It was just what's on paper, the jokes, that's it. You know, it was later in life, I guess, when you get confidence. And it also was when I was going through a divorce. That's when it was like, fuck it. Let's go. You know, then it was more me that came out. And I was like, oh, this this is who I'm going to be. This is who I am. And also, it's easier to just always be yourself. You know, in a way, you could say that I'm kind of lazy. Really. I don't really right I'm not that's the moral here really I'm lazy just hone in let's think but yeah listen but that's where really where great stuff comes from yeah why give you something else when I was like oh you know I'm just I'm just doing me I'm just gonna do me but it is funny how I I know me early on I was always echoing what I had grown up watching and what I loved and so there'd be times where I'm, I'm not me yet. I'm all the things that I really loved. And then it takes a while. All that stuff just gets shed and eventually it gets melted down and eventually you start to come out, but it's a process. And that's where it just really helps to, um, get time. Right. Did you have your like comedy outfit, like your, your comedy uniform? Like this is where I have to have this because this is, I'm funny wearing this. Like I will wear hats. I'll put a hat on. I thought, this is funny. This is good. Because if I bomb, I can blame it on the hat. Sure. This hat's not funny. So if you were about to go on and you. What was I thinking? Yeah. If you were about to go on and you couldn't find the funny hat, you'd be like, I can't go out there. I can't go on. So Keith Robinson cursed me out. Like, I mean, he just ripped me apart because when I moved away from hats, then I needed a sweater. I needed like a, you know, not a Cosby sweater, but like a, you know, where people go, oh, that's a nice sweater. So Keith and I were in Philadelphia. I was going to go to the Funny Bone and I didn't have my sweater because we went to the movies. And then I thought we would go back and get my sweater and go to the club. He's like, no, we're going to direct the club. I said, I can't go to the club. I don't have my sweater. And he's like, what do you mean? I said, I need my sweater. He's like, you look fine. I said, no, no, no. I got to get my comedy sweater. And when I said that, he just ripped me apart. Yeah, yeah. And he was like, I'm not going back. And he took me to the club. And I had to go on without the sweater, without the hat. And I did okay. Yeah. So that's when I was like, okay, I don't need these things. Did you have that? Did you have that? You know what? I think my version of that was my hair. I think that the reason I was always, when I found out in my teens that my hair was kind of springy and I could have this big shelf hanging out over the front. and I started combing it up like that and kind of rockabilly and just, and then, but also part game show host. And I think a lot of that was, don't look at me, look at this. Do you know what I mean? It was, my hat came with me, my comedy hat. And, you know, you look at some of the early late night shows and I, there are ones where this thing is coming out like three feet and it's going way up in the air. And you're thinking people at home must've just been saying, what is wrong with him? He looks like a fool. Your hair's in everybody's shot. Yeah, exactly. Every time I turned around the guest, Mr. T would get hit in the face. It's just so funny how everybody, that's this self-hating thing, which is very natural, but we don't think we're good enough, especially when you're that, when you're starting out and you think I have to, I need all this extra stuff to be able to go up there. And then later on, now I've been going to these different clubs to try out Oscar material. And I'll just, I don't even know what I'm wearing. I'm just wearing a t-shirt sometimes. I'm not fixing my I'm not doing anything because it took me decades to say, okay, I'll just be me. But I mean, it took a long, long time. Yeah. Well here the other thing because I do the same thing If I working out material like I working on my next special and I at the Brea Improv I going to go just like this because I don't want the audience to have expectations. Like if I put on something nice, then they're going to be like, oh, we're getting a real show. But if I just come like this, nah, I got a notepad. I just walked off the street. That's why I'm doing the Oscars. Yeah, I'm just, yeah. I'm going to host the Oscars in a slanket. Right. in the breaks. I just lie down. You know, I never knew this. I mean, I was thinking about you yesterday and today and... That's scary. Doing my research. That makes me very uncomfortable. That's why your car wouldn't start. That makes me very uncomfortable right now. Thinking about you and where do you live? Where do you live? When they said, hey, Wanda's here out in the parking lot. Then you started thinking about me. I don't like that. No, no, no. I'm good about this stuff. Okay. But that you're your dad's a was an army colonel yes and so you grow up and mom a banker so you grow up in strict family uh not necessarily that's what i mean that would be the cliche i guess is that they'd be strict people yeah i mean i grew up in a strict family my dad was like a you know academic and scientist and my mom's a lawyer and strict in the sense that um one of us going into comedy wasn't maybe their first choice right you know but beautiful lovely people but real good catholics church people so i'm just curious if you had that experience uh yeah i mean they were you know uh black people in the south so there was always some type of structure and uh they They were strict, but we had fun. We, you know, they were, my dad would, was serious about his job. But when he got home, he'd take his uniform off and, you know, he was dad. And also my dad hustled, man. He had side jobs and everything, you know. That's how I fell in love with bowling, I guess, because he would, on weekends, clean the lanes. Yeah. so it was strict from looking on the outside but inside they were just like you said a lot of values, church all of that so no someone saying hey I'm going to go do comedy the question was so what was that college I paid for? What was that about? Why did we do that? That's natural. And now my mother I talked to her yesterday it was so funny and she said But she goes, you know, I don't understand. Like, when you went in college, why didn't you just take, like, performing arts? Why didn't you go in? I'm like, oh, so now, you know, you're putting it back on me. Like, I wasted, you know, it's still going back to college. Like, I wasted college. What did you study? Marketing. Marketing. I was like, I didn't know what I wanted to do. But I was like, oh, no science? Yep, marketing. That's me. That's it. And then you worked for the NSA for a bit. That's really funny. And okay, here's my question. Because a lot of us, before we get out in front of people and start trying to be funny, we have these jobs where you're kind of funny at work. Were you funny at the NSA? I was funny at the NSA. I was funny at the NSA. I killed. Think of the huge security breaches. Think of the terrorists that weren't caught because you were busy joking around. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. So you're funny. You're funny at work. And did you have people around you saying, hey, you got to get up there. You got to go. I did. Yeah, I did. But, you know, I was serious about the job. But but it was, you know, we have a good time. But I also knew, it got to a point where I was like, I can't do this. This is not going to be my life. Because you would see the people who was on their way out to that retirement thing. And one dude, he would just look at the stocks. That's all day. And I was like, saving America, aren't we staying? It's like, here we go. Saving America. That's right. so what was your big break you're doing comedy and then you you did a was it a contest you entered or was it a the Coors Light Super Talent Showcase yeah okay showcase their radio station uh in DC uh sponsoring it and i was like you know what i should let me i write some jokes and go audition for this so you're still at the nsa at this point yeah yeah and so you uh you go up you do this you enter and how did it feel did it feel right right away it did yeah if it felt right like you know oh wow okay these people you know you get that first laugh and it's like oh okay this works. I didn't win, but I was really happy with the way it went. It felt like I belong here. Andy Evans, he was the emcee, and he was like, where did you come from? I haven't seen you in the comedy clubs or anything. I was like, yeah, I haven't been to a comedy club. He was like, okay. He just became my mentor. He would show me around comedy clubs and would work with me on material and stuff. So, yeah, everything just felt right. And then I know that you... Then I bombed silly the next time. Right, right. Which is classic. Which is classic. People turned their chairs around. Oh, my God. And they were bolted to the floor. Yeah, exactly. It was just like, I got to get up. You can just get up and turn around. No, no. No, no, no, no. Fam, you could just leave. No, I got to make a real statement. When do you start opening for Chris Rock? Is that right? You do it for a while, and then was that a bit of a level up for you? Yes, yeah. By that time, I left the NSA and was living in Jersey, I guess, to be closer to New York. And I opened for Chris Rock when he was about to do Bring the Pain. Yeah. And that was a big come up for me, I guess, because he remembered me when he got his talk show. Yeah. Chris Rock Show. Yeah. And asked me to submit some writing samples. Yeah. So you were a writer on the Chris Rock Show, which was great. and then you guys win the Emmy, which is still very bitter for me. I'm sure. Because I know we were nominated. And then Chris gets up and says, well, I think Conan should have got this. And I wanted to stand up and say, then why can't I have it? Oh my God. But- And when Chris said that, we all went, shut up, Chris. Shut up, Chris. But if, yeah, you can't be bitter when the Chris Rock show wins. You just can't be. It was so great. And so I, that must have- Not if you want to win that NAACP image award, you can't. That would slip right through your fingers too, didn't it, Conan? Yeah, I was so close, but I stood up in the audience and I said, why? Why? And then I think I said on camera, when will the white man get a break? Oh no! Which was a mistake. Yeah! Remember that? And then you were like, Conan, and I'm like, you're right. Oh, you shouldn't have done that. That was a bad idea. It's been thousands of years. When is it our turn? Oh, wow. But anyway, people are now looking. Did I really say that? No. What did you learn working in a writer's room? Well, AI, I can make you look like you did. Do it, do it, do it. When did you, because I always think, I don't know if you had the same experience, but once I got into a writer's room, I felt like I had been fish that had been flopping around in the desert for the first, you know, 20 something years of my life. And then someone put me into a pond. That's what it felt like to me. Did you feel that way about being in a writer's room? You know what? I was the only female writer. And the guys that I was with, they were so supportive. So, yeah, I kind of just felt like I was at home. You know, they actually, you know, was a really big help because I would I would write things and they were just like these long monologues. And Louis C.K., he was on the show and he he looked at my at my stuff. He was one. You have a lot of jokes. And he knew me, you know, from stand up. He said, instead of writing these long rants, he said, look at the newspaper and just write a joke on an article. That's all. He said, this is what this is. He says, and then, you know, if you got a sketch bit, do that. Okay, great. And then every week I was just getting jokes in. You show up and you think, oh, I'm writing for Chris Rock, so I need to write this big, long monologue. You don't think that it's just throwaway jokes. Yeah, I need to write like this thing that goes on for a couple of pages. Right, right, right. So then once I got it, I'm like, okay, you know, I can follow directions. I got it. Yeah. What's a real discipline too, because on Saturday Night Live, they used to say, we do all our weird sketches in the week. And then on Saturday, they would say, come in in the morning and write weekend update jokes. And just to supplement, you know, whatever Herb Sargent and whoever was at the update desk was doing at the time. It was Dennis Miller, I think. And you'd sit there and you'd just be going through the news and you started, I started to learn, right, this is, this is something I hadn't really done before, but I see the game. There's a game to this and you just got to try and figure it out, but it was a great discipline. Um, and so you do that and then what happens after you're done with the Chris Rock show? What was the next step? Steve Martin had a show, um, the Downer channel and I had a meeting with him and I'm like, it's Steve Martin. I'm going to do it. And when he pitched me the idea of the show, I was like, oh God, this is awful. This is going to be awful. And I don't even know if I'm right for this. I'm like, but it's Steve Martin. So I was like, yes! And we did the Downer channel and then from there, I forgot what happened after that. You lost a whole 15 years. it says here you're in a coma for a while i think i worked on i think i worked on my my hour that's what it is yeah i was i went back to stand up and i was working on my hour and that's when uh i think tongue untied probably came out yeah that process of getting an hour i don't think people realize because now the way uh entertainment works and streaming the minute someone has an hour sometimes even before they really have an hour before they have an hour before they have an hour when they have 20 minutes, they need to come out with their hour special. And the minute it comes out, people can say, that was great. Where's the next one? Right. And it used to be, if you think about the history of this whole thing, people would develop vaudeville. They develop their hour and do it for 40 years. 40 years, yes. And now it's, that was great. Yeah. And so it's like a band that has their first album and it's everything they've been playing all those years. And people are like, that's fantastic. We need the next album in six months. Yeah. And they're like, huh? I can't. So that's a huge achievement to get that first hour. Yeah. And I'm, you know, I take at least three years. I think three years is the shortest time that I've turned around and did another hour. I usually take at least four or five years. You know, a tour with it. You got to. You know when it's special. I mean, sometimes there's hours and then it's special. And I remember when I shot my first hour, the advice Chris Bra gave me, he said, make sure it's special. Don't go up there and do a set. Do a special. Like, okay. All right. Well, and then, you know, thinking about it, okay, now I get what he was saying. Because, you know, you can watch some stuff and you go, okay, that was an hour. Yeah. It was an hour. You legally met the requirement. Yes, exactly. Great job. It clocked in. Here is your certificate. Yeah. Yeah. Clocked in. You have had this really great career where I stand up to your first love. Until now. Until terrific. I mean, things are going great. But what are you talking about? Until I got here. Oh, this. Oh. Look, present dip. Accepted. This is a low point. This is a low point. I gotta bounce back from this. When people do the podcast I can see them often texting their agent while I talking to them And it usually what happened or we need to talk It time for a comeback special Everyone does their comeback special after the Conan podcast. So about that dancing with the stars. Curb your enthusiasm. obviously you're you have such a strong uh undeniably unique comedic voice and I can tell like you with Larry is just if if someone long before you did it if someone had just said Wanda and Larry I'd have been like oh yeah that has to happen is that how you felt when that came about? I, you know, big fan of the show. Yeah. And I, I knew that one of the producers on the show and, and she said, we got to get you on there. I'm like, okay. Um, I would love to. I said, but look, I can't audition. I said, I'm horrible at, you know, in the audition process. Um, and I said, and I don't, I, it'll just kill me if I like, just not funny in front of Larry David. I can't. So don't, please don't put me through that. I said, just, I'm just going to be a fan of the show. She's like, okay, all right. And then she said, hey, we're shooting around the corner, you know, from you. So why don't you come over to this car dealership because we're shooting here. And Larry just wants to say hi. I said, oh, I get to meet him. She said, yeah, yeah. I'm like, okay. So I walk in and there's Larry. And Larry goes, hey, Wanda, I know that tush anywhere. I was like, what the fuck did you just say? I said, why would you say that? And we just got into it. He goes, you got the job. I'm like, what? She tricked me into auditioning. Hey, by the way, we were rolling. What is so funny, that's hilarious, but also when you hang with Larry, you're in the show. He is that guy. And you can be with him just hanging out at a party and he'll come in with a plate of food and you're talking to people and you're like, don't you kind of hate it when people interrupt you with a plate of food? And you're like, you're doing a bit. You're doing a bit. And he's like, no, no, no, I'm just saying. You're like, there's no camera here. But it's delightful because you get to be, if you're in his life, you're on that show in some way. Okay, yeah. That's how it feels like. But yeah, you were just perfect. Yeah, I enjoyed it, but I don't like being around him, though. Honestly. Nobody does. Right? Nobody does. He likes making you feel uncomfortable. And I like at lunch, I'm walking in and I see him coming and I'm like, oh, shit. You know, I don't want to sit with him. I don't want to eat with Larry. He always has to eat alone. I don't want to eat with him. I go sit over with the grips. I'm like, I'm not. No. No, we should make it clear. No one wants to hang out with him. Okay. All right. He's always alone. Okay. He's always alone. All right. Because I think he loves to be, he loves to be annoying. He just loves to, I mean, he loves that, hitting that frequency. And he's so good at it. He's the best. The best at it. I want to talk about your personal life for a second, because I find it interesting. I know you talked somewhere about how you thought coming out was important. It helped you get up in front of people and you felt like be more honest or before you had been holding back a little bit. Is that the case? Yeah. Yeah. Um, before, you know, it's, I knew I, that I had this, you know, secret or whatever. And so I had to have somewhat of a, you know, protection of, uh, and, and it's just sitting there in the, in the back of your brain, you know? Um, so it's like, I don't want to push too much because somebody might yell out, you know, you're, you're a lesbian or Hey, you're gay. So it's like, okay, let me just at arm's distance, let me protect myself. But once I came out, it was like windows down, roof back, let's go. So I just felt liberated that there was nothing that I had to hide. Yeah, it's like you were carrying something, you put it down. Yeah, yeah. Or it's like a version of the funny hat or the sweater. It's just like, no, no, no, this is me. and yeah there's nothing you can say now to you know that that would you know hurt me or whatever yeah people shout that at me a lot a lot you're a lesbian you're a lesbian it's usually just Sona it's usually Sona Sona follows me in the clubs well maybe you shouldn't have gotten a tattoo and I know I've met your wife she's French yes she is and Is there a culture clash there? Because with the French, you know, just like your wife, she's from this very different situation. How does it manifest itself in your relationship? I mean, everything. I mean, even from like just, I mean, food alone, it's, you know, there's no snacking. So, yeah, snacks. They don't do that. I got to like sneak and get my snacks. You know, like I would like go out in the car, eat a couple of taste chips. And I come in the house, she was like, is that, uh, I smell, uh, is that chips? Is she smoking? I'm sorry, I saw you do. She doesn't smoke, it's just how I see her. I see her. That's how I see her. She has an invisible space cigarette, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is fantastic. Yeah, it's the three meals, but they're great meals, you know, because it comes with wine and champagne, you know, and there's like a little pre-meal, you know, pre-snack before the meal. Maybe if you had wine with your potato chips, she would be okay with it. We've done that with champagne. You're there with your Pringles? She's like, time for the Apero, you know. And there's a little, like, some pistachios, maybe a little saucisson and some champagne. I said, oh, I can get down with this. Now we're talking, you know, and then you have your lunch. And then you get to do that again for dinner. You get to have a little pregame for the dinner. They know a thing or two in France about how to live. Yeah. That we haven't figured out. Right. We were in Mexico, and she wanted to buy these bowls. And she was, you know, just going back and forth with the guy. She also speaks Spanish. so she was going back and forth with a guy and the guy was like 700 and she was like, no, four and the guy was like, alright, you know, four. So, and I heard that he asked her where she was from. She said, oh, Belgium, right? So, she said she's from Belgium. So we get outside and I'm like, why'd you tell that man you're from Belgium? She's like, well, I didn't want the French to look bad. I didn't want you to think badly of the French I'm like that's the kind of shit French people do You know That's exactly what French people would do You know I'm not going to take responsibility for that No Now you've got teenagers Twin teenagers do they think you're funny? Will they give it up? My kids are very wary of giving it up for me and I get it. They're like they're very happy to put me down and rightfully so. They do it. They love doing it. Olivia was like two about two years ago. Mother's Day. She gave me a pet rock. I haven't heard of those. I think those are big and In like 1976, the Pet Rock. Yeah, and you could decorate it. You could put like the googly eyes on it and little crazy hair on it. And she was like, isn't that great? I was like, you know, my mother would have thrown this at me if I had given her a rock. I said, you are a very blessed little girl right now. But she thought it was funny. But, you know, to do that. so it's that type of thing where they know what I do and they know that people know me so to them they feel like it's their job just to bring you down a little bit just to chop you down a little bit so I get it they did come to a show this summer I did a little European tour and they came to the show in Paris and they were the first two backstage and they were like, oh, mom, that was so cool. That was great. Oh, good. Wow. You know, so they enjoyed the show. Yeah. But mom at home, no, I'm not funny. Yeah. They don't give it up at all. Yeah. It's better that way. I think so, too. Wouldn't it be creepy if they're like, you're just so funny. Yeah. What? Yeah. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Yeah, yeah. It was so funny. Lucas went through a little phase when he was like maybe 10. Because, you know, we were down in the streets and some people, you know, like, hey, Wanda. You know, Wanda Sykes, what's up? And they would go, why are they, why are people young? I said, I don't know. They just, you know, maybe somebody went to school with or whatever. That would try to downplay it. Lucas went through this phase for like three months. Whenever I walked in the house, he would go, Wanda Sykes! I was like. get it up yeah yeah yeah make some noise that's how people do it so he's like why decide that would be creepy yeah that would yeah yeah let's talk about the movie because this is I was saying your stand up is your feels like that's your lifeblood but you're a good actor you are a very good actor and this opportunity to do this film how did it come about Undercard So Tamika Miller, the director and co-writer of the script, she reached out to me and she's like, look, I have this project. It's for you. I wrote it with you in mind. I would love to send you the materials. I'm like, OK, all right. And I read the script and looked at the materials. I was like, oh, I said, this is good. And so I called her. I said, so Queen Latifah said no, right? And she's like, no, I'm telling you, I've had you in mind for this. So I was like, you know, I don't know if I can pull it off. I said, I've never done a drama. And she's like, believe me, just trust me, you can do this. And, you know, we met and kind of like went through the script. yeah and i was like okay and you know she just had so much faith that i could do it i'm like well i'm gonna prove her wrong you know really you have faith in me huh well watch this yeah but you do a very good job and your character uh whose name is no mercy that's her nickname yeah you have this world weariness that seems real like you're dealing with a lot your character is dealing with a lot and you're getting evicted and you're going through some intense stuff and you're going through intense stuff with your son and you aren't putting any comedy air quotes around it at all. Do you know what I mean? Which I think is, that's another scary thing to do. Right. But you did it really well. And I don't know, what is it like for you to sit and watch yourself in this situation where you are so not going for laughs. Did that feel scary at all to you? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I know after a take, she would say, okay. And I said, you sure? She's like, yeah, I got it. And I'm like, yeah, but what, you know, is there something else that you need? She's like, Wanda, I got it. Let's come on, let's move on. But for me to go back and watch, I couldn't go watch the takes, you know, and I'm glad she didn't say, you want to see it? You know, so I didn't see it until it was until it was, you know, completed. And then my notes, a lot of my notes were more about we would just, you know, the story moving the story. Yeah. Yeah. It's so interesting because you go along in a situation where, you know, when something's working because you hear this very specific sound. But then you're in a situation where that is not the goal anymore. I mean, in the limited experience I've had doing any kind of acting, it's been, well, where's the laugh? You're like, there isn't one. You moron. Yeah. You moron. There's no, and you really need to shed all of that, put it away, because that is not the point of what we're doing anymore. Right. And this has nothing to do with that world. And so that always a new level of terror because you know especially when you trying these things and you know you not 25 You know like okay I done some standup and now I going to try this It just a whole you you been relying on a certain rhythm for a really long time And now it this it uh I don know I found it terrifying anytime I've had to be in that kind of situation, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it is. Um, but I knew I couldn't do it. You know, I was like, I, as I wanted, you cannot, I do the wink at the camera. You can't, you can't, you know, you just, Yeah, you have to lock in. It's the only way this thing is going to work. And the crew, everyone who worked on that film, they were, you can see them, like, rooting for me. Oh, that's nice. The cast, everyone, you know, after that first day, they was like, oh, this bitch can act. Okay, come on, y'all, let's move faster. Hey, hey, come on, come on. We don't see bullshit. Come on, everybody, come on, come on, come on. I mean, everyone. I mean, everyone just like, oh, shit. All right. We might have something here. Let's go. So are you interested in doing more? That's that's always the question you'll be getting a lot is the acting, you know, just film acting, you know, doing this kind of. It's going to be project by project based on that. You know, I'm not looking for another dramatic role. you know I like making people laugh I want to yes comedy is my that's my love so I you know that's what I'm looking for next Wanda congrats you're getting great reviews Undercard is in theaters now and I want you to come back soon because I love talking to you you're hilarious and you're also I know you to be a really great person so it's always a delight to hang with you thank you Colin and I hope now you're no longer indifferent well you know I I love you, but we'll see. All right. Now, David, you very kindly last night drove me out to Covina. Yeah. I am trying out some material and I went to the Chatterbox, which is a terrific comedy club that Laurie Kilmartin told me about. out in Covina. And so you said, hey, I'll give you a lift very kindly. And you and I were driving and I tried to play my tunes through your car. Yeah. You said you wanted to be the DJ. I wanted to be the DJ. And you said, well, just use my phone because it's already hooked up. Yeah. So I got a brief glimpse. It was the biggest regret of my life. I got a brief glimpse, you know, because I see all of my, you know, I have my DJ list. And it's all rockabilly songs and then The Clash. And then, you know, it's just this it's it's all this different stuff, stuff from the 90s. But it's it's pretty fast rock and, you know, sort of jet fueled rock and roll percussive. And then you said, just use my phone and you hand me your phone. I did this and I can see your Spotify. Yeah. And what did I see? The first thing I saw first thing I hand him the phone and I just hear. Oh, my God. Oh, no. What was the very first thing? It was a Hilary Duff playlist. And then I recently went to the Pantages to see The Notebook, the musical. So I was listening. I did, too. The very first thing I saw was The Notebook and then like seven songs from The Notebook. Yeah. And then. That's a great soundtrack. It is. It is a great soundtrack. I'm not aware. Oh, OK. What are the songs? Like, is Notebook a song? No. Notebook. I feel you with my thoughts You're a notebook Nixon was a crook You were a notebook Okay, so what? It's based on the movie. It's not a musical about a notebook. It's based on the movie. It's an opportunity. It's a beautiful musical. It's like picture if you and Ryan Reynolds were singing and that bit you did with him for The Notebook. Where I made out with Ryan Reynolds? Yeah. Yeah. Well, listen, that was the first thing I saw. Then there's a lot of Hilary Duff, who I think is lovely. I love Hilary Duff who doesn't she's the best yeah and then I started flipping through you just had oh well I'm going to see the Backstreet Boys next week so I had them on there too alright you know it was fascinating a quick glimpse into how we're different a little bit just a little bit just a little bit a little bit and no it wasn't I don't judge I'm not a judge oh you're not judging who are you talking to I'm sorry let's take a poll Who thinks Conan judges? I am not a guy who judges. I don't see how we're different. I only see how we're the same. Who is this guy? This is the guy I wish I was. Is it the guy I... I don't judge. No, it's not. I hate this guy. No. Yeah, I was... How long... I mean, what else would I have found if we had gone through... Seriously, let's talk about what else I would have found if I'd kept scrolling. Oh, God. Well, you would have found some audio books. I'm listening to one called You'll Never Know. I think you'd like it. What's that about? It's like a murder mystery kidnapping book. Okay. It's really good. Okay. You would have found some like, you know, any music that a 15-year-old girl listens to. Some Sabrina Carpenter. So I get the most excited text from you the other night because you got last minute tickets to go see Hilary Duff. Yeah. And you lost your mind. I was. Which was very sweet. I like that. Dare I say it was the greatest night of my life. But you've seen me perform. Oh, dare I say it was the greatest night of my life. That's quite a dare you just took. It was in the same venue I've seen you perform at the Wiltern. Oh, she did a show at the Wiltern. Yeah. So you said you saw her and that it was transcendent. It was like the crowd was incredible. She was amazing. She did all the throwbacks and some new ones from the unreleased album that you guys are all excited for. We should get her in here. I act like I could just summon her. No, this isn't one of those things, right? That's so sad. David just looked like I've arranged to have her here. David, who do you think I am? Aren't you like the Oprah of comedy? No, I'm really not. No. That's so funny. You looked for a second like, oh, my God. Well, David, guess what? We have a surprise for you. Oh, my God. I can have a publicist try to get her on the podcast and she'll probably say no. Oh, no. Love it. Love to have her here. But she was a big part of your growing up. Everything. Yeah. All her music. What was the show she was on? Lizzie McGuire. Lizzie McGuire. They were supposed to bring it back and then it didn't happen. We're all devastated. Oh, the Lizzie McGuire movie. A classic. OK. She was also in Agent Cody Banks. Agent Cody Banks, which you've watched. How do you know Agent Cody Banks? How did you know that? I was a big investor. Oh, okay. All right. Put everything I had into it. Did okay. Yeah. No, I don't even know why I know that. I just remembered her being in that movie. You were traveling somewhere and it was on. Oh, I think I watched it. It's one of those movies where I watched some of it over someone's shoulder on a plane without sound. So creepy. Conan! That's so creepy. That's a weird thing to say. Everyone does that. To just look at someone. Everybody watches, you're on an airplane flight and someone usually on the other aisle, like one or two rows up is watching a movie and you're too lazy, that being me, to like, I'm supposed to go find which movie I'm going to watch. But I just start looking over someone's shoulder and they're usually about a third of the way in. And I just start watching it without sound and trying to figure out what's going on. No one else has done this here? I've done it. Eduardo, have you done it? I don't know. I've definitely peaked over to see what people are watching. I peaked over, but I'm not like full on watching it. No, I'll kind of watch it because you kind of try and figure out what's going on. Oh, okay. I see. Cody's got to get his way out of that volcano. Oh, look, there's Hilary Duff. She must be the love interest. I don't know. You just watch those things. I've watched many movies like that. It's also way better than what happened to you on a plane where someone was watching you and saw you on a plane. Yeah, I've had that. I've had that experience where someone was watching a monologue of mine and looking over. And if the joke was good, they would turn and give me a thumbs up. I can't hear it because they've got their headphones on. Oh, God. And they were watching my monologue. And this is a bunch of years ago. And they were watching. It was when they have, you know, it's TV. Yes. So they're watching the show that was dropping right then that I had taped a few hours before. And this person kept, they would turn around and I can just see me making stupid gestures and looking like a fool. And then you can tell my rhythm. And then I hit the punchline and the person turned to me on the first one and gave me a thumbs up. And I'm like, oh, well, that's good. And then I saw them, I was trying to rack my brain because just a few hours later, what was the second joke? Was the second joke any good? And then I kind of had a bad feeling and I can see, I know my timing and I see that I finished that joke and the person turns to me and did the eh gesture. And I'm like, are we going to do this the whole flight? Good one, not so good one. Anyway, so I had that experience, but I really do like watching someone else's movie and trying to figure it out. My last flight, so no, get this. I was watching Heated Rivalry, but I like, I'm on a flight, so I like sat with my phone like this, covering everything. blanket over you and no pants on. So you're basically watching, is it porn? It's not porn. Stop taking away from the show. I'm not trying to. It's tender and it's sweet. Yeah. No, but there's nudity. The first two episodes especially has nudity. The first two episodes are like real fun. There's butts. Well, we talked about this. Yeah, we talked about that and I think everyone's talking about heated rivalry now. They don't need any help from us anymore. I think we got them safely launched. You did it all? We did it in a way. But it isn't a movie you can comfortably watch or a show you can comfortably watch on an airplane. Yeah. Same thing happened to me. I'm watching the show Industry, which I love right now. And there is and it's kind of all going fine. It's about finance. But sometimes there's some sex scenes and there is a all of a sudden a reveal where she's wearing a huge strap on. And I, I like jumped forward in my seat to block. But the people next to me saw what I was watching. Yeah. Well, they probably just thought, you know, suspicions confirmed. Yeah. But El Creepo in seat 70. It's way better than the time where, so the Dark Knight Rises had just come out. And it was that time where it was on planes, but you couldn't watch it anywhere else. It was out of the theaters, but wasn't on streaming. And I just really, I spent, I'm not kidding, probably an hour and a half just watching the Bane scenes. Because it's just over and over. And then I realized what I was doing. And I looked over and the woman next to me was horrified, like trying not to look at me. And I realized, oh yeah, I've just been watching Bane for an hour and a half. Why were you just watching the scene? It's cool, man. Bane's cool. Wait, what? You would just like finish it and then just rewind to that? Yeah, because, yeah. We just forwarded to Bane scenes? I was molded in the dark. What? You just forwarded to the scenes with Bane? Yeah, those are cool scenes. Bane's cool. Come on, guys. I'm not the only guy who thinks Bane's cool in here. Not at all. All right, well. I think we're out of time. The rap light is on. Let that linger. That is weird. Rap line. We came out with those. Okay, so. Wow. I completely derailed that I'm sorry I thought we were all sharing scenes I thought we were sharing stuff of us on planes when I rewatched Heated Rivalry I forwarded to the sex scene like a normal person but like I just didn't know people forwarded to like all Bane scenes in the Dark Knight Rhymes not everybody Bleg alright listen I'm proud of everyone here I don't even know why I said that Oh, this is just a segment, right? Yeah. Okay, so there's no fun thing at the end where I go, our next guest. No, you just say bye. I so don't know what happens on this thing anymore. That's okay. Listen, you know what? You should be proud of your set list of music. Thank you. You know what I mean? It's yours. It means something to you. It means nothing to me. No. And I judge you for it negatively. You're welcome for driving you to Covina last night. It's just literally a few streets away from my home. Peace out. Two-clock. Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.