Ronald McDonald House | Creep Cast

Welcome back to the Welcome back to Creepcast. Today we are going to be reading two beautiful stories. The first one being which I thought this was a pretty sweet title. Me and my friends are using a Ouija board for the first time. It keeps asking people to leave the room. last time i was around a ouija board it was actually in tampa with isaiah when he refused to mess with it you don't fuck with ouija boards i don't i don't touch them it's a bridge too close to me i i mean i feel you i have met the amount of people that i have met that do not fuck with ouija board it's it's a it's a large people people do not people don't like those things people do not like ouija boards i'm finding i mean it's like i understand it's like a board game that's made by like mattel or hasbro or whatever like i understand the thing itself is just a piece board, right? But it's more so, I don't do any ritual thing that is in an attempt to contact spirits. Like if someone was breaking up animal bones or doing little sigils and stuff, wouldn't it mess with that either? Anything that looks like I'm trying to make a phone call, not interested. Well, that's fucking, you know what? It's your choice. I have done Ouija boards many times, never had anything happen. Except when I was younger, my mom did it, and she tortured me with it for like, I'm not even joking, a whole weekend. She did put on this whole elaborate ruse to scare me, and it was very rude. How did she torture you with it? She kept fucking with the light. She'd go to the breaker box and turn the breakers on and off. All kinds of stuff. Slamming doors. It's truly like a child raising a child is what it felt like. I was bullied, needless to say. Right. Right. I think that's good of her to do that. I think she should have done more. We don't have to get into anything, but I just know that, you know what? Treat your children with respect. Don't intentionally scare them. You know, that's just me. And I will say Isaiah gave me the gift that keeps on giving, which Isaiah sent me a video of himself crashing his motorcycle. Go ahead and roll that now. No, no, we don't. The funniest part of this, too, is we were talking about it, and he says, you know, I was only going that slow because the battery was dead, as if he's Travis Pastrana driving around his house. No, no, okay, okay, okay. A bunch of Red Bull drones flying around your property watching you hit your dirt bike, I assume. This had to come up because I have to explain why I'm wearing these. Yes. Okay. The motorcycle battery was dead. So for people who are listening on audio, what is on your hands right now? Bandages, a bunch of gauze and tape and stuff like that. What happened is I was trying to drive the motorcycle, but the battery was dead. So you have to do what's called a rolling start where you kick it into first gear with the key turned over. and then once you pick up speed, you flip it into second while the motor is still off and then you gas it so you're trying to force the motor to turn over without the starter. So what that means is you go from idling, like messing with your gears and all that, to second gear all at once while putting gas on. I've said this before. For people, once again, that are in audio that can't see the video, that is just definitely on repeat right now that I'm going to have them just repeat entirely. It looks like a very slow friend. It could not look like more of like an 86-year-old man on like a French moped going around a corner and then just having a heart attack and toppling to the ground is what it looks like. And then what happens is Isaiah sent me – it's like a six-minute long video. The rest of – that's ten seconds. the rest of these six minutes is spent with Isaiah just pacing around to the point where you're like, where the, like, it's, it's, it's, it's like that important that he showed me him being like, yes, this is me really just kind of like, just kind of feeling it out. No, I clipped the minute. I clipped the minute of the wreck. It was only a minute? On the security camera. Oh my God. It felt like eternity. Okay. Well, I clipped the minute and I sent it to you. Sorry. I didn't edit it for you. You should have. Because as soon as I wrecked, I stood up and I was bleeding for my hands and leg. So I paced for a while like, you're okay. You can feel your bones. You're okay. You're okay. Like trying to walk it off. Yeah, like I don't have any numbness. I can flex my leg all the way. I was doing that whole thing. Did I send you the video of the injury? No, I haven't seen any of the actual injuries so far. I am curious to see your little Arby's roast beef mitts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on. I got a couple pics of that. We can't put it in the episode. Yeah, definitely too. Well, the fact that you need bandages, I'm very curious to see what it looks like here. Also, by the way, we're reading Ronald McDonald House afterwards. That's the second story. Oh, owie. Owie, ow. Yeah, I cut myself on my hands, and then that left hand skipped. And while I was bleeding, I was looking down on it, and I could see little striations under the skin. I'm like, oh, those are muscles. That's awesome. That's great. That feels great. This is actually... It's so funny. This is funny. Given the context of the video, it's very funny that this is actually a very... It looks like fucking... It looks like Freddy Krueger's face is what his injuries look like. We'll put it up on the Patreon. Which also... Thank you to the patrons. We'll put it up on the Patreon. We'll put it up on the Patreon. So if you want to see some blood and gore from Isaiah, feel free. But thank you to our patrons for supporting us and getting some extra content on the side. And then also thank you to audio listeners who are listening to this on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, anywhere you can listen to podcasts and giving us a nice rating. We appreciate you. Isaiah, you just want to jump right in? Yeah, did you even say what the second story we're reading is? Yeah, I said Ronald McDonald House. I said it. Oh, okay. All right, all right. I didn't hear you say that. Okay, I also want to say to match the cast, I'm wearing a Five Nights at Freddy's t-shirt that I found at a gas station in rural Appalachia. Appalachia. So, wow, it's really got the whole fit going on. You know, really is quite the drip check. Definitely. Our first story, me and my friends are used in a Ouija board for the first time. Keeps asking people to leave the room was written by World Away Tweety. World Away Tweety actually writes a ton of stories for No Sleep. They write it says on in their bio that they write spooky stories and screenplays. So they've got a ton of stuff. Some of it written for No Sleep. I haven't read for the screen. They've been writing for years, it looks like, and there's dozens of stories on their page. So we'll have that linked in the description. Be sure to check them out if you enjoy it. And our other author today we'll talk about, but it seems that the story we'll be reading for them is the only story they've posted, and they haven't posted in 13 years. That's a great sign. We'll go ahead and get into it with the Ouija board story. Hunter, are you ready? Oh, I'm ready. Let's begin. Also, if anybody has a Ouija board while we read this, I would say put it out. I'd say don't do that. But you know what? You're an adult. You do what you got to do, but I say bust out that Ouija board. Yeah. Get that Ouija board going. Okay. Me and my friends are using a Ouija board for the first time. Keeps asking people to leave the room. I'm using this post to chronicle the events of this evening, as they've been truly fascinating. Some quick backstory. The small section of the city that me and my friends live is generally known to be haunted. And even if you're not a believer in the supernatural, it's at least a bit eerie. I'm not going to dox myself by stating the location, but let's just say that creepy sightings, murders, deaths due to unexplainable circumstances, are our bread and butter. For most people, this means you move away as soon as they can. For folks like me and my friends, who absolutely love all things spine chilling, it generally makes for a pretty good time. Our Halloween parties are awesome. Most of our drinking nights have some sort of spooky game interlaced into them. And if you have literally nothing to do on a Friday night with your friends, You can always go on a tour of some of our haunted locales, graveyards, abandoned buildings, creepy forests, you name it. So with that background established, let's cut back to tonight. Did you, um, did you, when you were in college and stuff like that, did you ever do all that? Because, like, I would go to, like, abandoned buildings and, like, there were a bunch of after parties on, like, spooky, you know, in the woods and stuff like that. Did you do anything like that? No, it was more like when I was in middle school. things where you didn't really have much to do, so then you just wait for your, like, if you're at your buddy's house for their parents to go to sleep, and you get to, like, walk out into, like, the country or whatever, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do that kind of thing. Oh, we're going to go out to the river. It's going to be spooky. Yeah. I told you Kayla and I met Ghost Hunting, right? Yeah, I did. It's a magical, lovely tale. Very romantic. I don't like sarcasm with that. Very romantic, and I'd love to hear it again. there was so much sarcasm no man I would love to actually have to sit through that one more time it would be great you're such a jerk I don't know have you ever told it on the podcast though I don't know I don't care anymore it's actually like it's a pretty phenomenal story you should say it I'm being honest. I'm not being facetious at all. I'm saying that it's legitimately like really, really good. You should say it. I'm just going to keep reading. Cale and I met Ghost Honey. That's the whole story. It's all you need to know. It's all hunters going to get out of me right now. I can't do this right now. No, you guys are missing out. It's a real tearjerker. I'm going to say the text that you sent me earlier. You don't need to say that. that's a joke between friends is what that is uh yeah yeah okay me and my closest three pals decided to try our hand at using a ouija board were we going to be normal and try the ouija board in one of our family attics not too basic we instead decided to track up together to what i shit you not is an abandoned tree house left in an elevated section of our city surrounded by forest what could go wrong right don't like that i would do it just stick to my living room, I would be too much of a pussy to go up and be like, you know what? Let's go to that abandoned tree house in the middle of the forest. No, sir. No, no, no. It's in an elevated section of the city. I guess it kind of means like, you know how like in LA, there's like, you know, the like wooded hills in the next of the city. I guess that's what it means. We climbed up to the tree house, set down a spooky themed rug, lit some candles, and brought out the Ouija board. Despite my pretty extensive resume of dealing with all things creepy, I never actually tried a Ouija board before, so I was really excited to see what would happen. We went into this excited to break every rule in the book. We weren't going to do a seance, we were going to ask whatever we want, and we didn't need to worry about being respectful of the spirits, etc. We figured if something interesting were to happen, it'd be more likely if we went in as carefree as possible. We sat in a circle around the Ouija board and got started, asking the simple question, is there a spirit with us? with all of our hands placed on the planchette. No real response. We fluttered the planchette in a few different directions, but we could tell we were kind of forcing it. We asked a few other questions. What's your name? When did you die? But nothing really came of it. After trying for the next half hour and not really getting anything in the form of a response, we decided that we probably didn't have any spooky luck tonight and opted instead to share scary stories in the treehouse. We left the Ouija board out just in case we get luckier later in the night Amidst a break in our storytelling where everyone was grabbing drinks and snacks from their bags I decided to give the Ouija board another quick go Placed my hand on the planchette alone and whispered the following question Will you please grace us with your presence tonight? That's what does it when you skip into like the old English dialogue vernacular That's when it happens That's what you have to do will you please gracious with your presence tonight? Yeah. Yeah, you just have to sound like an oil man from the 20s. You know what I do? I try to put something in the backpack and just like leave it open so then the ghost would have to kind of like peer. What's in there? And have something a little tempting to where then it would be like, oh, okay, I want to start messing with them. I want to start interacting with these guys. They're pretty cool. What do you mean by tempting? I don't know, man. What would you tempt a ghost with? That depends on the ghost, I guess. that's the way you said that i mean it just depends on the ghost i guess some kit kats or some twinkies i don't know you are laying into me this i think you know what i would do a couple different things what did i do that made you so upset no don't don't deflect what did i do that made you so upset you know what i do i take a picture of my take a naughty picture of myself a little polaroid and i put it in the bag and i'd leave it open yeah i knew When you said something to tempt the ghost, I knew it would be in that direction. Why did you fucking go Mr. Rogers with it? Well, I don't know. It depends who the ghost is. Okay, what did I do? Why are you mad? What did I do? I'm not mad. I'm just saying the way you said it was so flavorful. It really is. It's like a goddamn ring pop. Between this and me bringing it up, that's how you kill it. I'm at ghost time. You're like, wow, really? Like, what? It's got your goat right now. Nothing. Nothing. All right. I guess I would tempt a ghost with a chocolate bar. How's that? That's wholesome, right? The ghost is like, who's chocolate? I like that. How's that? I mean, you're setting yourself up for all these. Yep, chocolate's good. My hand. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. No, what were you going to say? Go ahead. Just the idea of, I'll tempt a ghost with a chocolate bar. There it is again. There it is. You'll just look at it. To use that voice. and to be... You're the one who's doing it. You're intentionally doing it. You're fucking with me. You're definitely fucking with it. Oh, okay. No, Your Honor, I attacked him because he was asking for it. First off, what the fuck do you think a ghost wants with some chocolate? If he's sitting there and I... What does the ghost want with your naked Polaroid? Because imagine me on a jet ski, dude. Speedo on, and I'm spread open. I'm talking like, you can't even believe that a human could be. I'm like a goddamn wishbone. You spread me over. I mean, I'm flexible. Bending me before I snap. I'm saying that you're telling me a ghost, if a ghost is on Earth, first off, is the ghost logic that we're using is that the ghost is in like a purgatory. Do ghosts, because they realize they don't know that they're dead, right? That's the kind of idea. No one's established that, but sure. No, but in general, if there's a ghost. I think if a ghost is interacting with a Ouija board, they know they're a ghost or a spirit or whatever. Okay. Well, I didn't know that because sometimes all that people say is that ghosts don't realize that they're dead. Hold on. You think a normal guy who doesn't know he's dead is going to come across a Polaroid of you and be like, hello, Hunter? I think a lot of people would. Yeah, dude. I'm not saying that. Listen, I would say that as a whole package, it's not impressive, but there's a couple of ham hocks I think could turn some heads. More than would be interested in chocolate. Honestly, and I hate to be, I'm not trying to peacock, but yes. I think I could bust out I think I could like I would bust a nut over myself Over than like a Hershey or a Ghirardelli I guess what I'm saying Like I would turn heads Alright I have nothing to add to that They call me My nickname was Chinese Finger Trap For like two or three years Alright I like to bear when your mom was turning the lights off That was better Chinese finger trap. You're just constantly on. It's like the little chatter teeth that's just going around like na-na-na-na-na-na. People get stuck in it. Horrible bit or something. People get stuck in it. I'm like, you've got to squeeze and push if you want to get out of this. What was the dragon's name in Mulan? That's what they called me. That's what they do. I do an Eddie Murphy impression, but I can't anymore. Wasn't it Mooshu? I forgot they called it Mooshu. God. That's what it was? Yeah, it was Mooshu. Mooshu. God damn. I forgot Disney was holding back. They're like, yeah, it's about a Chinese girl. Yeah, the dragon's called Mooshu. We're going to call her sweet and sour, but we decided against it. God damn. Holy hell. We should call the little dragon General Chao. The cheddar teeth. We should restart this paragraph because I'm lost. Okay, well, I ended the paragraph. You said, will you please grace us with your presence tonight? So that's a new paragraph. Okay, all right. Okay, we're good. Surprisingly, the planchette started moving. It's hard to explain, but you kind of know when something is moving on its own versus you sort of subtly and subconsciously moving it with your hand to force an answer. This felt real. Tingle went up my spine. It was cool as hell. My hand was moved to the following letters. Y. E. S. Awesome. I looked over to the group and told them that the Ouija board was working again. Excitedly, we all huddled around and placed our hands on the planchette. I followed up with another question. Where are you from? We sat there excitedly waiting for something. Instead, nothing. The planchette was still. The lack of any sort of external force with us was very, very obvious. disappointing that i had an idea i wanted to follow up with i turned to my friend kevin and asked him do you want to try doing it solo it worked for me kevin was confused but he decided to give it a try we all backed up to give him some space with the ouija board he placed his hand on the planchette and repeated my question where are you from his expression changed to shock as his hands started moving with the planchette he turned to all of us and mouthed i'm not doing this to which i excitedly mouthed back i pulled out a notepad and recorded the answer as the Planchette went from letter to letter. It recorded the following. Not important. Love it. A spirit with some sass. I asked Kevin to bet. I'll also say this. A lot of times we get annoyed by casual language and stuff like that in the story because it comes out of nowhere or it isn't fitting. This is like a group of friends in high school or whatever going out with a Ouija board. So like the vernacular feels fitting. Yeah, they're also idiots. Yeah, yeah. It's just them being dumb and like, oh, play with the Ouija board. Also, the idea that this thing is actually moving, okay? This thing's actually moving, and it's just like, okay, a ghost with some sass? God, this is a guy that is like, he's going to be flying around the room later with like a noose around his neck or something like that. It's like the perfect juxtaposition. Oh my God, this guy has some sass, and then later his death corpse is going to be flying around the room. Exactly, exactly. He shouldn't have offered him chocolate. Drop the chocolate bar, it'll break the spirit's power. Meanwhile, the spirit's showing them, like, every death and every murder. Just blood pouring from its eyes, screaming, Get the chocolate bar! Get the goddamn chocolate bar! The scariest ghost just... there's like hellfire and like animal sacrifices and they're treated it like the goonies goonies never die yeah what i'm really it's like you have no grasp of how serious the situation yes it's like you get a hold of yourself you have no idea what you're up against lord you're Speaking to the Lord of the Flies. You gotta get it together. There's been times when I was a kid where it's like, even if somebody's faking it, I have loosed my mind every time. When I was a kid, I was like, oh my god! I was freaking out. So just having this happen several times, I would be like, okay, cool, we're done. And we're going home. I'm done. Also, he has sass. Is he like a fucking, is he a character in like a Tyler Perry movie? I'm like, this is a fucking ethereal being. like how about we boot scooting let's get the fuck out of here good lord we uh we in college we were playing with a ouija board around campus and there was uh one building that burnt down years ago and there was a legend on campus that you'd see a woman in a dress like a like civil war era dress oh cool walking around in the in the building that was built in the remnants of the old one um and i remember we went up there the hill and we were like uh who are you and two people were playing and it spelled out like it like girl And we like oh the girl in the dress And then one guy was playing by himself. He's like, what happened? And then it spelled out fire, and I just left. But I don't blame you, though. I do not blame that response. Clearly that one guy messaged me with me, but I just left. I would be, I'm a giant poster. I'd be like, no, thank you. even if it says something like nice, love, actually that's even more threatening, love, I'd be like okay come on, bye get the fuck out of here I thought that was your whole strategy with the Polaroid I like to tempt, I don't like to act oh okay, you like to be a little tease I like to be a little tease to the paranormal I see, a little window shopping for me, that's about it I got you, other side of the glass yeah exactly, every kiss begins with K is what I say looking in. Love it. A spirit with some sass. I asked Kev to back up for a sec as I approached the Ouija board. Prep for one final solo question. I asked, why are you only responding when it's one of us using the board? Yet again, the planchette moved effortlessly within my hand. It was faster this time. So I said the letters out loud and had another one of my friends, Eleonora, transcribe onto my notepad. The answer was, one at a time. Fair enough. I thank the spirit, my hand still on the planchette. I appreciate your answers, friend. To my surprise, in a strange synergy between me and the spirit, I felt compelled to move the planchette again. It was the fastest it had ever been this time as it covered the following letters. Tell everyone else to leave. Huh. Huh. That's a little weird That's a little quirky First off, I should say, tell everyone to leave I mean, I would be Shitting bricks right now Huh He's gonna be like He's gonna be like the guy at the end of Hereditary Where he's in the treehouse Just like getting possessed And there's headless bodies everywhere He looks around Everyone's headless and naked Like bowing That trumpet music Huh That's a little peculiar Don't you think Eleonora And she's just like she's skinned alive Like crucified on the wall That's a little weird don't you think What you doing up there You guys are playing a joke on me His buddy He looks to his buddy He's like his mouth's in a scream and his head spinning. And he was like, that's a cool trick. The ghost teach you that? I love the idea, too, of this happening to you. You run outside and get on your motorcycle and immediately crash. Just like all of it is from one camera angle of me slowly going down the ladder, getting on the bike, can't start it, tries to roll it, crashes. Well, see, it was actually so slow because I had to do a rolling start. Yeah, I had to do a rolling start. Well, you see, I didn't really start because the battery doesn't. Yeah, I just explained the whole process. I probably should have changed that battery. I like the idea of someone being confronted with, like, actual, like, scary demons, spirits, whatever. But it's like a Scooby-Doo movie. Oh, yeah. Jeepers, it sure is a fright. And I want to say, so far, I did like that little turn. That kind of fucked me up a little bit. Tell everyone else to leave. Fuck that, dude. I love those. Huh. So good. Yeah, I just couldn't hold in the laugh. It was just the literal line. Huh. Huh. I got a lot. It's kind of campy. Like being confronted with the real horror with such casualness to it. It's time to talk about something scary. Your health. 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Offers valid while supplies last and the free meals are applied to a discount on the first box and new subscriptions. Again that's hellofresh.com slash creepcast10fm to get in on this incredible offer today. Thank you to HelloFresh for sponsoring the show their link will be in the description and we are now back to the episode my friend looked at me skeptically as i said the letters at a time are you sure you didn't force that on purpose asked eleonora i assured her i definitely didn't that was definitely from the spirit which that's one of the i think i mentioned earlier but that's one of the big deals with like ouija boards you can't play it by yourself because the whole point's like connected energies or whatever around the planchette so if you're playing it by yourself it's a one way between you and the spirit so the spirit wins every time Oh, I see. At this point, this had been the most clearly supernatural phenomenon I'd ever experienced in my life, and I was excited to keep it going. My friends, usually unflinching and made of ice, were a little bit thrown. Eleanor and Martin looked ever so slightly spooked, but Kev was willing to go with it. Might as well see where this goes. Kev said as he started climbing down from the treehouse. With a slight bit of hesitation, Eleanor and Martin followed suit. Sweet and actually creepy night. I embrace the quiet amidst the lighting of the candles and the power of the Ouija board. I geared up for my next question. I wasn't going to hold back. Spirit, how will I die? Brothers just die. No, dude. Good lord. No hesitation. No surrender. Literal fucking goodies. Fucking sloth shows up and rips him at it. Because it's not like he's like, oh, I don't believe this. He thinks he's talking to us. Something beyond the veil. Something we can't understand. But the only thing that's more fucked up is that he does not care what is behind the veil. He doesn't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck if you're a god or the devil. How the fuck am I going to die? You're like, come on, man. Just immediately diving into a thing that you should never ask once you say. Ever. What kind of... Oh, sick. Okay, great. How will I die? I'm glad I know that now. Thanks, man. Yeah. I mean, what do you do? The Ouija board's like car, and you're like, great. What? Time to be scared forever. No shit. I took in a deep breath, waiting for some movement. Slowly. Depends. Interesting answer. This is literally Fred from Scooby-Doo. Like, come on, game. If not a bit underwhelming, I geared up for my follow-up. Oh, come on, spirit. What about something a bit more specific? I've never wanted people to die so badly, honestly. He's about to get ripped out of that tree now. It's going to be so satisfying. It's going to look like, have you ever seen a skyhook, the way they used to pick up people in the military where they put a balloon in the air and a plane hits the balloon and just rips them off the ground. It's going to look like that. Straight down the wall of the treehouse. It's going to look like that little kid in fucking Arampe's pit being dragged around that goddamn river. That's what it's going to look like. Yeah, what do you do if you're like, oh, something more specific, and it's like gorilla. And you're like, oh, God. And then you turn around, and there's a gorilla in the treehouse. In the jungle. Mighty jungle! That's in the distance getting louder. That'd be so frightening. You hear your friend outside be like, Is that a gorilla? Just the thundering pounds of gorilla's fucking fist into the earth. Sounds like a horse galloping towards you. Uh-oh, you asked the gorilla question. Uh-oh, use of the magic word. My hand moved with the planchette to the following letters. I try hard to focus and connect the letters since I didn't have anyone to transcribe with me. What is your name? My name is Andrew Bingus. Weird. Completely dodged my question and asked me my name. Okay, all-knowing spirit. I assumed you'd already know that. I decided to try tricking it. My name's Bell. Movement from the planchette on the Ouija board took me to the letters. Do not lie. My God. Well played, spirit. God. I love this person, please. It takes him back to the previous question. It says, two gorillas. every time he's too quirky it just adds a gorilla i gave the spirit my actual name jennifer and continue to see the follow-up response what is your favorite food honoring the spirit's rules i opted to tell the truth instead of following up with another lie. Your girl loves the writing. I like it. It's charming. It's charming with what's going on. But, man, your girl loves Don Air, and the spirit deserves to know that. What is Don Air? I don't fucking know. Don Air? Let me see. Sounds like an airline. Don Air is a popular Canadian food. Oh, God. Originating in Califax, Nova Scotia. It's a variation of Doner Kebab featuring spiced ground beef, sliced from a rotating cone, served in a pita bread with tomatoes, onions, and unique sweet. So it's just like a, it's like a taco. Yeah. It's a gentrified taco. Got it. Okay. The Ouija board's response? Correct. Before I could take in the affirmation from the spirit, who's asking who questions here, spirit? Followed up with yet another question. What is your biggest fear? Do not lie. God, dude. How do you not take this as like, okay, I'm definitely going to die this way. What's your favorite food? I don't know. Just like a kebab. All right. What's the worst possible way you'd want to die? I don't know. Maybe three gorillas? Yeah, I don't know. Getting attacked by a colony of gorillas? We move up, we move up, we move up. The tree just starts shaking. It's like, oh, what's that? this question took me back a bit i wasn't really afraid of anything or so i thought so i struggled with it it took me a few moments i really really thought of it i kind of cringed at the answer but it was my truth something horrible happening to my little brother i'm sure my brother's gonna be fine Homegirl just sent her brother to the shadow realm. I kid, I never come back. Exodia! Open it right! That thing off Evangelion's gonna shove up the giant triangle with the laser beam. or that or two gorillas no movement from the ouija board seconds turn into minutes as i kept my hand yeah the time it was taking these minutes to kill your little brother seconds turned into minutes as i kept my hand awkwardly placed on the planchette then finally thank you send eleonora well i obliged I thanked the spirit for its time and decided to climb down from the treehouse where my friends were waiting. I passed on the spirit's message and told Eleonora that it was her turn. I do like this idea of having to kind of like take turns going up. This is like this ritual of having to climb back up the treehouse is like pretty fucking unnerving. And then just being up there, obviously, with like some kind of other entity is creepy. Yeah. Yeah. I said hereditary earlier as a joke. but in the early scenes of Hereditary, how the sister would sleep in that treehouse. Yeah. Yeah, up the ladder. And there was an uncanniness to how different it was in the space around it. It's what it makes me think of. It's also funny to imagine Eleanor gets there. It's like, what's your biggest fear? And Eleanor is like, probably something happened to Jennifer's little brother. They're just stacking the curses on this kid. Martin, Kevin, and I spent what must have been 15 minutes standing outside the treehouse while Eleanor was up there. We'd pull drinks out of our bags and were discussing my experience with the Ouija board so far. Both were incredibly surprised when I told them that the spirit was asking me questions. What kinds of questions? Generic stuff like my name, favorite food, you know, weird. Both Kevin Martins seemed a bit thrown off by it, but I was excited. We looked up at the treehouse as we heard the sounds of someone climbing down. Eleonora had finished her session. She looked traumatized. How was it? Weird. All it did was ask me questions. questions like my name my favorite hobby my biggest fear that one took a while for me to answer kev turned to me that's a little bit eerie i agreed didn't look like eleanor was loving it either but still spirit asking us questions this has been one of the coolest if not the coolest paranormal experiences i'd ever experienced in my life eleanor turned to martin i said that you were up next it's funny the casualness yeah approaching we'll see also it's uh i like that it kind of is a bit goof at the beginning but there is there is a turn happening like that yeah yeah there's a realization albeit slow very slow but it's a fun uh revelation nonetheless yeah it's like um it starts with like well haha funny do you mean but now it's like they're all like oh this is kind of a little weird yeah a little scary it's also funny that they're not more freaked out by it where it not only knows all their names but it's asking them the same questions and they're not really attributing a weight to that yet like they probably should be um i'm sure that will bode well for them in the future it'll be fine yeah yeah they'll be okay martin sessions seemed longer than the others we stood outside drinking talking about the happening so far and pulling out the occasional snack. That was a little bit traumatizing, said Eleonora. Kevin pointed at her and then up to the treehouse. Agreed. This is kind of messed up. Yeah, but that's the point. We seek out spooky happenings all the time and we never get lucky. This is an actual, legit supernatural experience. I feel like we have to take advantage of it. Even if it's asking us personal stuff, what does it want that for? Followed up Eleonora. I shrugged. While the biggest fear question was pretty weird. I didn't feel too worried that a spirit knew what my favorite food was or what my name was. Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of someone climbing down from the treehouse. Martin had finished up his session. It felt like it had been 30 minutes, which topped the rest of our sessions. We bombarded Martin with questions as he reached the ground. He looked more shell-shocked than Eleonora did. That was pretty fucked up. What did it ask you? My biggest fear. It's weird, but it felt like it didn't like my answer to that one. It almost seemed annoyed. So was it just silent for a while after that? No, it asked me way more things after. What's the happiest moment of my life was? Who I was most jealous of? Who my biggest life dream was? All that stuff. There's a lot of questions. Then finally, I just wrapped up with thank you. And that was it. He said his biggest fear was like spiders or something. so it did a psyche bell on him to find out who it would hurt the most for him to lose god it's just it's gonna send them to the stratosphere it's also funny to be like yeah i made that ghost pretty mad anyway kevin hey kevin sorry you're up buddy yeah yeah when i left everything in the room started floating and the drumming was getting louder but i'm sure you'll be fine Martin turned to Kevin you're up next Kevin turned to all of us here goes nothing it does feel like there's a giant asteroid heading towards Earth I know I keep thinking about that idea of like Kevin getting shot out of a cannonball out of the side of the tree it's like it's like they're playing hot potato with it yeah not hot pop goes the weasel yeah like they're each like handling like huh would this be funny would this be funny and then the last guy up is gonna get obliterated he sighed and started climbing up to the treehouse we watched him make his way to the top for the first time in the evening i had to nod in my stomach yeah you're right about there's a shift all of a sudden where it's like getting more serious only five minutes had passed since kevin first went up, but he was already climbing down. He was shaking his head as he made his way down the ladder into our group. Fuck that. What happened? We asked him. He just shook his head. That shit's dangerous. We need to get the fuck out of here ASAP. I've never seen Kevin like this. He was uncharacteristically shook. You have to tell us more. What did it ask you? I mean, what did it say? Kevin ignored all our questions. He started packing up his bag. You guys can play with fire if you want, but I'm out of here. I suggest you guys come too. I watched as Martin and Eleanor started packing up as well. I had bad feelings about this whole thing. I think we should leave. Guys, what the hell? Just because it's unselling doesn't mean we have to pack up. We can just hang out up there and do something else. This doesn't feel right, said Eleonora. I watched him as they took a few steps away from the treehouse and towards the forest. You coming? Asked Kevin. I stood my ground. Kevin just shook his head and started heading out on its way. Suit yourself. I had no idea what could have possibly happened up there that would have shooken him this much. He had already started walking as Martin and Eleonora pleaded with me to come with him. I said no Grudgingly they all left You probably wondering wasn I scared especially now that I was alone The answer was yes but something in my soul told me that I was up next I spent my whole life waiting for something that was truly supernatural to happen. And now, it was in front of me. It's my fingers jittering. I climbed up to the treehouse as my friends departed. Something in my soul told me I was up next. Yeah, the demon. Yeah, no shit. It's in your soul now. It's kind of fun of like almost like it's planting a little seed in her mind. Yeah, yeah. Something tells me I should go back up there. There's like a 40-foot tall goat behind you. You should go back up there. Yeah. Okay, if you say so, demon. It took me a moment to pull together the bravery to put my hand on the planchette. The candles were still lit. The setting was just right. Finally, I spoke to the spirit again. Why are you asking us all these questions? Nothing for a few minutes. Then, my hand moved with the planchette, slower than usual. The answer? To confirm my suspicions. Confirm your suspicions of what? Movement from the planchette on the Ouija board. One of you is not who you say you are. Oh, sick. What are you talking about? I heard blood-curdling shrieks coming from the forest outside the treehouse, like nothing I'd ever heard before. What the f- The planchette was moving on its own now. I watched it go from letter to lever. That is not Kevin. He is coming back for you. Run. And so I did. The small section of the city I live in is generally known to be haunted. I think I know why. It's time for me to leave. Ah, what a fun end. Man, that was great. I didn't expect that. What a little pepper at the end. I love that. This is definitely one of those stories where you wish that you had more. But at the same time, what a fun little – I do wish that there was just a little more to see. But this causes the nice, fun question of – let me ask you this, Isaiah. Do you think the ghost is telling the truth? Can you trust this ghost? So what I think happened at that ending is it mentioned at the beginning and then there again at the end that the whole city has a history of ghosts and spirits and stuff like that. and it's almost like this ghost is interrogating them to make sure they're all normal humans right that's why with martin when he answered the question about fear wrong it had a lot of follow-up questions like eleanora and jennifer gave questions that made sense it's like oh well my biggest fear is this i like this and spirits like yep all checks out you're good but then when martin gave a weird question it became like okay what about this what's your fear desire and then he checked out but then we don't know what it said to kevin but we can assume that because of this kevin was possessed prior or had some spirit inside of him so he's only up there for five minutes the demon or the ghost figures it out and sends them on their way uh so then jennifer goes back and it's like you need to get out of here because that's not kevin like kevin's been possessed and now the mask has been revealed it does a great job too it's pretty cool it does a great job in the story to by isolating the people so you don't know who's saying what. There's a level of deception that happens almost immediately to where now you've been trusting these people coming down and saying well, what are the things that they're saying, right? You've had this level of like acceptance of that. Now, you're like wow, has the things that people have been telling us even that true? I don't know. Really, really fun. Really fun way to set up that. See, this is the kind of thing too where it'd be fun to explore more of these characters. I like the kind of, with that I liked how goofy it kind of was. It was a little cheesy. But at the same time, I think it did that intentionally because my guard was lowered almost immediately. Like, I mean, I was just kind of we were just having fun with it. It's so obviously something horrifying. But then just switch it at the end where, oh, shit, it's maybe someone in the group. That makes it a lot of fun. Yeah. Also, someone I'm reading the replies right now. Someone said perhaps the ghost is the real Kevin who's died and now is in the afterlife. And this thing is just assuming his identity, which I feel like it would know right away then. when you need to ask the rest of them questions. But, I mean, there's so many fun theories. Yeah, just let your mind run with it. I really like that. That's a fun little – that's a very fun bite-sized story. Yeah, it was a nice little piece of, like, mini horror that had, like – it was a fun payoff, like kind of goofy. We were joking with it. But at the end, there was bite. It was good. I liked it a lot. Yeah, sometimes it's nice just having that sting, you know. It's just nice to have that little – just a little flash of lightning right at the end. That's fun. Yeah. Yeah like I said WorldAwayTweety on Reddit they have a ton of Stories most of them seem like these little bite sized We'll certainly come back and check them out At some point actually can I see What their Top voted of all time was That one has 7k The top voted of all time is a story called A message appeared on everyone's screen In the world hide Oh that's cool it's like the same length It's neat Didn't we read that one No, we didn't. Isn't that the one where all the people, they're in that apartment, and they hide in the – they have to go play. Everyone's hiding in their own spot. Remember in the apartment, all the friends are over there hanging out? I'm pretty sure we read that, man. What are you talking about? It's that story where it's like all the buddies are hanging out at this apartment, and then the thing flashes on the screen. It says hide, and they're like, what? And they hear the other people in the apartment, and they have to like – somebody hides under the bed. somebody hides in the closet. Do you remember this? I have no memory of this story. Maybe I read that for Patreon. You may have read it without me. Maybe that was one of the Patreon stories. I just remember it was really good. It's really fun. But yeah, me trying to recollect a story. Good God. But I feel like I'm almost positive we read that on Patreon. Editor, put it up here. Did we do that? There you go. The next story we're reading is called Ronald McDonald House. And what I want to say here, this is on the Creepypasta Wiki. I love that. First off, I just want to say it says in, it's in the categories, it says mental illness, places, and weird. So you got to love that. Which also, if you don't know, Ronald McDonald House is also a charity. So hopefully they address that. Don't sue us. And they don't know because, yeah, this is actually a charity that they do. So I'm curious. First line, literally say it. It's like last week, right, when we did the three stories. we didn't say what the connection was but there was like a hidden connection where it's like oh these are all about rituals or like spells and stuff like that so there's like a hidden connectivity you don't have to say it but is there you pick these stories is there a connectivity between the last story and this one the that I don't know we have like a little spreadsheet of stuff that's organized it was under and I might be wrong here but I believe this is under the categories of trapped or something like that I don't know I'd have to see again but these are just some of the ones that were recommended and i just thought that they sound like i really liked the title of the ouija board one and then i thought uh the ron mcdonald house one was just kind of funny so no it's just stuff for grab bags okay all right because i was because i'm sitting here like what does the ronald mcdonald house have to do with the ouija board okay but that makes more sense all right so this story ronald mcdonald house was written by a user named d kingsbury um who looking at at least their creepypasta wiki account They posted this in 2013 So 13 years ago And never did anything else Love that They have 12 edits Which I think they're all edits to the one story I'm pretty sure Which I think I did this earlier But I don't think they have any other Yeah they don't seem to have any other Social media presence At least none that I can see right away So yeah This is their one and done We'll leave a link to their creepypasta wiki in the description to the original story. And then if they ever do post in the future, you can check it out or know about it there. But I think this is the only thing they've ever posted. So that could be really good or really bad. There's been a couple of times we found like one off stories that have been awesome. Yeah. You know, I mean, don't be wrong. Just calling something wrong. McDonald House. If this turns out to be a banger, I'm going to be so excited. It happens very rarely. You know, I still love the My Little Pony story that we did. Loved it. So who knows? But God forbid, we'll see. Oh, cupcakes? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you love that. It's brutal. It was brutal. You have to admit it was brutal. It was, but that was probably, we loved it for probably what was not the author's intended reason. That's fine, though. I still loved it. I think it's, I mean, hey, I'm on this podcast. I obviously think it's fine. Yeah. But we'll see. We'll see how this goes. I want to take a moment to thank today's sponsor, Ridge Wallet. 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If you're not, don't act like it. On whatever you choose, Ridge has their built-for-life warranty. So if your wallet's ever lost or stolen, they've got you covered. Speaking of losing your wallet, you can use the Ridge tracker card to always let you know where your wallet is. With Ridge, there's nothing not to love. Right now's the perfect time to get in. Because right now, Ridge is having their once a year anniversary sale. That means right now, if you head to the link in the description at ridgeridge.com slash creepcast, you'll be able to get up to 40% off. That's right, up to 40% off on something I'm sure you'll love. Again, that's ridge.com slash creepcast at the link in the description. After your purchase, if you could let them know we sent you, we'd really appreciate it. Thank you to Ridge for sponsoring the show. Their link will be in the description. We are now back to the episode. All right. Ronald McDonald House. I'm sure you've heard of the Ronald McDonald House charity. They provide housing for the families of sick kids when they're in the hospital. Seems pretty innocent, right? Well, there's another side of the charity. There's another type of Ronald McDonald House. One that not many people know about. There's one in most big cities. You won't find it by looking for it. It doesn't have an address. It doesn't have a sign above the door. It doesn't even have windows. no the only way you'll see it is if you're taken there that's how i found it oh the way it was described initially i thought it was like uh i thought it was supposed to be like a battered woman's shelter where it's like no they the address is kept hidden for a reason so people can't find it but no it's like it's a kidnap thing we're like we're like ronald ronald is definitely stealing people yeah i remember when i when i was in a high school i was a part of this group where we did a bunch of charity work for the county. And there was this one organization where their whole thing is they have houses set up. And if there's ever a call from a woman or a family who's being beaten or abused or whatever, there's this group of people who will take them to one of these safe houses effectively and keep them until the trial is done and stuff like that. It's a pretty cool service but i remember we really wanted to get like um play stuff for the kids uh we were like oh we'll put a little like playground in the backyard so you know the kids don't have to be miserable or bored while they're there and i remember it became this huge argument because everyone was like no if we put if we put playground stuff in the backyard you know the abuse the abusive partners are gonna recognize that immediately jesus they're gonna see and it's like why aren't these in houses like on the other side of the county and they're like yeah but yeah they'll be looking they'll be looking it's like what they good fucking lord if they won't be the only house in the county that has like a slide in the backyard like it'll be okay and i remember that it was like a six-month argument they intentionally don't want them to have fun yeah i remember like they kept being like well can't we give them some coloring books it's like we can do that too but it's like they're not going to find them because of a swing um and at one point Someone was like, well, I would understand if, you know, the house didn't have a fence. And like, maybe your fear is that, you know, the the abusive person in question sees the kid from the road. And then the person who was arguing correctly was like, no, all these houses have like tall fences. We're like, oh, well, then what are we doing here? What's the problem? Which we did eventually. I think if I remember correctly, we did eventually win the argument and get like playground supplies to them. But that reminded me of that whole argument like, no, if a house has a slide in it, immediately abusive partner is going to recognize that. He's going to smell that from a mile away. Jesus Christ. Anyway, after that fun anecdote, I've never met my real parents. I've been in and out of foster families and group homes here in Detroit since I was a kid. I'm 15 now, and I'm what you refer to as a bad kid. Always causing trouble, always getting thrown out in place with another unsuspecting do-gooder who thinks they can help me, and I always proved them wrong. My caseworker sat across the black metal table, looking weary and frazzled. On the table between us was a thick, letter-sized brown envelope. A case file. Well, your reputation has preceded you. And now, you only have two options. Military school in Lansing, or the Ronald McDonald House. which has miraculously cleared you for acceptance. It ended up the patience for drill sergeants and 5 a.m. reveal. And how bad could a halfway house named after a fast food clown possibly be? Ronald McDonald House it was. Dark clouds loomed above me the day I climbed into the back of my caseworker's town car. My few belongings in a backpack and the clothes on my back. That was all I could take. One of those few belongings was a photo album filled with pictures of all the foster families I'd been with. It was nice to remember some of them, even though I had royally screwed it up each time. I've had a few cases who went through Ronald McDonald House. Caseworker said from the front seat. Things went so well for those kids, I never had to transfer them anywhere else. In fact, the house took over the case files and everything. Can they do that? No. I don't think it works that way. No. The kids should die, and I never see them again. The kids are dead, and not my problem, most importantly. We drove into downtown Detroit past all the familiar landmarks. I'd been thrown out of one foster home just outside town because I snuck into downtown Detroit with some neighbor kids to sink into a dive bar. Good times. Yep. Here we are. Car came to a stop. We had parked in front of a tall, gray, windowless building. Sandwiched between two other industrial buildings on a narrow city street. I don't think that's what the Ronald McDonald's houses look like. I don't think they look like brutalist architecture. in the middle of downtown. I noticed there was an address on the building to my left and one on the right, but none on this particular building. Not even a sign. Are you sure? I asked, hesitating as I opened the car door and climbed out of the back seat. I slung my backpack over my shoulder, clinging tightly to the strap, and followed the caseworker up to the windowless metal doors. She pressed a buzzer, spoke to someone inside, and the doors clicked to unlock. We walked in. As soon as the metal doors closed behind us, I noticed the pin drop silence. It was that sort of silence that's so oppressive and empty and almost deafens you. Across the dimly lit lobby, there was a glass window with someone inside, a secretary. She was turned away, typing something intently. We walked over to the window. The caseworker rang a bell on the counter and the secretary spun around in her chair. Her face was painted like a clown, like Ronald McDonald. In fact, bro, get me. out of here. Hey, so... The military's cool. Way to scare me straight. The military's really cool. I'll just do that. Thank you. Whatever house you want me to, that isn't this one. You know, I always wanted to support my country, actually. I always felt like that was important, so... She even had the short, curly red hair. Otherwise, she wore a typical white nurse's dress. Oh, my God. What you got there, Billy? I wanted to laugh at how bizarre it was, but I couldn't. A chill swept down my spine. Something was not right. I watched as the nurse and my caseworker interacted. Paperwork was passed through the window. The caseworker slid my case file under the glass as the nurse slid her some papers to sign. As my caseworker signed the papers, the nurse looked at me. Her smile should have been warm and welcoming. All I saw in her eyes was hunger. um excuse me excuse me i can't stay here take me to the military school in lansing please what's the matter sweetie the nurse asked her voice muffled slightly by the glass afraid of clown yes i'd be yes motherfucker i am that case worker like please just shoot me in the head please just kill me right here i looked into her hungry eyes i don't like how the eyes keep being described as hungry. Now there was a malicious glint as she laughed. A caseworker laughed too obliviously and said, Now, now, don't overreact. You'd hate the military school. Besides, this'll be good for you. Yeah. This'll be good for you. Before I could object, I heard a slam behind me. I spun around to see an open door in the far corner of the lobby to the left of the front desk window. There was no one there. Just some light flooded in. Then, creeping shadows. shrill echoing laughter and growing shadows along the wall inside the door oh here comes the welcome committee as i stared in horror clutching the strap of my backpack my caseworker patted me on the shoulder for the last time don't worry honey it'll be different this time you'll feel right at home here i promise she turned to go i felt bile churning in my stomach no you can't leave me here oh no i've got to get going i never did like clowns me neither bitch god help that's what i was like get me the fuck out of here i thought it was gonna be cheeseburgers she's getting she's getting into the car and he's pressed up against the glass like please god help and you see like a bunch of ronalds pulling him off the window and with that she left me there metal door slammed behind her and i was alone i faced the open doorway by the front desk again the shadows had almost entered the room and the piercing laughter was filling the lobby with sound. I ran for the front doors. I pounded and yanked and pushed and screamed. Screamed for help. Screamed for my caseworker. Screamed for... Anyone? Please, God! I turned to see the nurse behind the glass smiling at me again. Then they entered. A whole group of laughing nurses with clown faces and red hair. Some were male, some female, but all had the same terrifying Ronald McDonald makeup. up and in the dim light of the lobby i could see the glint of metal tools in their hands bringing up the rear was a pair of clown nurses rolling a metal table complete with restraints get the fuck away from me i screamed i pounded at the metal doors again let me out of here they surrounded me grabbed me as i thrashed and screamed and tried to tear myself away laughed as i kicked and squirmed they slammed me onto the rolling table and strapped me down I looked around wildly. I was surrounded. Let me go! I screamed, twisting and turning and pulling at the restraints. They rolled me through the open doorway and down a seemingly endless white hallway. They laughed and laughed and laughed. They waved their shiny scalpels and razors and needles mere inches from my face just to make me flinch and scream. It made them laugh even harder. Last thing I remember, before one of them finally injected me, was the hands. Gloved fingers prodded inside my mouth and pulled at my lips Distorting my screams and forcing an unnatural grin onto my tear-streaked, sweaty face Hot, rancid breath was in my face And a whispered, perverted voice spoke the words We love to see you smile Then as the maniacal laughter seemed to warp and wind down like a dying record player Everything faded to black I feel like this is somewhat venting a lot about like a deep fear of clowns i guess well i just i mean it goes from here's the thing it's ridiculous it goes from zero to a hundred a zero to a million so quickly at the same time though at least it's going for it i mean it's boring no exactly i'm just saying from the happy happy shit it's just like at least it's like it's just being like I mean we fucking here We in Ronald McDonald fucking murder factory or whatever At least we here and going you know Yeah we doing something with our time I suppose It is insane how quickly it goes from, oh, well, I was a bad kid. I got moved from house to house. Anyway, a posse of Ronald McDonald clowns strapped me to a table and injected me. Oh, absolutely. No, I mean, absolutely. It's a zero to 100 for sure. Yeah, absolutely. I opened my eyes and was blinded by bright lights above, shielding my groggy gaze from the fluorescent bulbs. I turned to my side and looked around. A cell. Tall white walls covered in scratch marks and stains. There's a small drain in the corner of the floor. My toilet, perhaps? A door with no windows. And on the floor by the door, my backpack. I tried to sit up. My body ached, and the moment I was upright, my vision started spinning. I wondered what they drugged me with. I realized I was shivering I looked down I wasn't wearing my own clothes anymore I was wearing a dirty, ripped hospital gown bright yellow with a pattern of Ronald McDonald's heads all over nothing underneath I heard faint, muffled sounds from somewhere in the building it sounded like screams I tried to stand, but couldn't keep my balance my vision was beginning to stabilize but my body still felt like rubber I sank to my knees and crawled over to my backpack before I got there I tried to open the door. As expected, it was locked. I slumped onto the floor beside my backpack and unzipped it. All that remained inside was the photo album. They'd taken my notebooks and pens and my cell phone. Of course they had. I weirdly opened the photo album. Instead of the photos that had been in there, ones of myself with my previous foster families, photos where I'd attempted to look happy and hopeful even though I knew I wouldn't be there for long, instead of those photos, they were crime scene photos. And in each one, I recognized one of my former foster families brutally murdered and covered in blood hell yeah see you know what though we didn't say that this story was written back during kind of the peak so i'm glad though it was almost a hyper-realistic blood meme i love it is an actual crime scene so i guess the clowns murder everyone you've known all the foster families you've known that's their strategy i guess my heart raced and my stomach churned i began to turn the pages quicker each page a new photo a new family new carnage i recognized their faces in the inside of their homes i lived with these people and now they were all dead i came to the last few pages there was a photo of a house at night then a window of that house then inside the house a dark hallway with light coming from one doorway then a photo of my caseworker brushing her teeth in the bathroom mirror then a photo of her looking at the camera in horror, then a photo of her, naked, covered in her own blood, contorted into an unnatural position in her bathtub. I turned to the last page, written inside the back cover of the photo album were three words. You never existed. Hell yeah. They fucking, just a naked woman covered in blood in like a goddamn origami pose in some bathtub and ron mcdonald's just like you never existed this is the thing with a lot of the old ones where it's like it's a story with just the most brutal over like the idea of a naked woman brutally murdered like that's that's heavy right but yeah the brutality is delivered by a 14 year old who treats it with the same gravity as he does clown makeup. It just doesn't matter. It's the equivalent of kids who are like, yeah, I set bugs on fire, and I hate my mom. I wish she was dead. It's like that kind of verbiage, but in a story. I felt bile rising in my stomach. I threw the book to the ground, crawled over to the hole in the floor, and vomited. there was also a lot of vomiting in these old stories too oh yes they were right having killed everyone who ever knew me it was as though I never existed I heard more faint screaming in the distance and knew I had to get out I wiped the vomit off my face with my hospital gown and crawled back over to my backpack hopefully they hadn't found my secret weapon a Glock I had no shit I'm like what I had zipped the front pocket and reached down to the very bottom my fingers scraping the fabric sure enough there they were flush with the seams in the bag nearly undetectable the pins i used for picking locks i told you i'm a bad kid oh yeah let's go let's go that kids are badass that gets the ncis like yeah exactly yeah i told you i'm a bad kid I leaned against the door and listened I could hear footsteps approaching But just as soon as they arrived They faded in the other direction I knew I had to Awesome Again this was written 13 years ago A highlight of Creepypasta days This is definitely written by a kid And you can tell because they use a lot of Like set pieces from cartoons Like Listening to the door, hearing the footsteps Get close and then go away Pretty sure that's in the Incredibles, you know, stuff like that. And then like the thing earlier about like, oh, all the clowns come and then like you fade to black as it sounds like the voices are getting more distant. These are all cartoon motifs that they're using. I knew I had to work fast. I jiggled the handle with one hand and picked the lock with the other. It was surprisingly simple. Holding the handle, I slowly pulled myself to my feet. I could maintain my balance now. I pulled the door open just to crack. A clown nurse darted past. My heart almost stopped, but his footsteps didn't slow or change and soon faded. He didn't notice me. I poked my head out the door. There were seemingly endless white hallways in either direction. The distant screams were louder now, coming from all around. Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind me. I decided to go to the right, passing doors identical to the one I had been in behind. I heard screams and sobbing. I stopped for a moment at one door and heard the crying of a child inside I juggled the handle to see if I could let him out Locked, I kept moving Looking behind me every few seconds to make sure no nurses had come into the hallway Then I passed a set of white double doors I stopped again The word play place was written in tall thin letters across the width of both doors I heard more screaming coming from within The screams of multiple people And laughter the insane shrill laughter of the clown nurses i shuddered i was afraid to find out what sort of torture was happening inside and i knew i had to keep moving i saw a door ahead with a stairway symbol and headed for it as i opened the door i glanced behind me and saw two clown nurses emerging from the play place room their white nurse outfits were covered in streaks of blood i quickly shut myself into the stairwell hoping they hadn't noticed me the stairwell was dimly lit cement walls and rusty railings. I looked at the door I just closed. There was a red number five on it. I must have been on the fifth floor. I decided I had to get to the ground level. Each footstep echoed as I began to descend the stairs. I couldn't hear the screaming anymore. Just a low, deep humming sound, like pipes in the walls. It was a welcome respite. It was a welcome respite is such an out-of-place sentence in this story. Respite feels like it came out of what feels? To hear that word get thrown in with the bloody Ronald McDonald costumes. I finally came to the door number one. The staircase seemed to descend a few floors lower, but I stopped here and slowly peeked through the door. More white hallways. No clown nurses to be seen. So far, so good. I stepped through the door and walked into the hallway. I noticed I couldn't hear any screaming on this floor. just the buzz of the fluorescent tube lights above i get not not to derail off of this but i was i knew the respite thing reminded me of something do you remember the story about the slips that we called polyamorous hell yeah okay in that story i think the word crestfallen showed up three times in the midst of like the crestfallen dude yeah in the midst of the reddit fan fiction it uses a word from like the 1700s out of nowhere. It's a damn good word. That's what that reminded me of, respite in the Ronald McDonald killer clown asylum story. I came to the end of the hallway and another set of double doors. A large red cross, the kind you'd see on the lifeguard stand or first aid kit, was painted across the width of them. I pressed my ear to one door. All I heard was a slow, rhythmic pulse, like a machine at work faintly a beeping sound like you'd hear in a hospital room please please be the original Ronald McDonald please be the first one tied up to a chair kept alive by machines like house from Fallout New Vegas please I knew I shouldn't have opened the door I knew this wasn't the exit that I should keep looking but I had to see I turned the handle it wasn't locked I peeked inside It was a cavernous white room Fluorescent lights flickered and buzzed I saw wires hanging all around And hanging from the ceiling In rows Kids I don't want to be Ronald Kids in hospital gowns like mine Attached to white wooden crosses affixed Jesus God damn crucifying children good lord do you see what i mean by the like i set bugs on fire like kind of idea he's a bad kid i'm a bad kid i read about other kids getting crucified on the ceilings of ronald which i was like when we started the story i was gonna make a comment about like do you think it's kind of bad to like take an actual charity and tie them to this but this is so like it's whatever you want dude oh call it the wounded warriors project for all I care kids in hospital gowns like mine attached to white wooden crosses affixed to the ceiling literally crucified they were silent their heads drooping forward their eyes either closed or staring at nothing some seemed to twitch a bit but most were still their crosses swung back and forth very slightly and the hanging wires they weren't wires they were intravenous tubes attached to the kids wrist tubes sucking out their blood i almost vomited again right then and there there we go vomit in the very center of the room amidst the rows of hanging crosses i could see where the rhythmic pulsing sound came from a huge steel cylinder which seemed to be collecting the blood from all the tangled tubes that dangled from the kid's wrist i could still be right about the ronald thing i could still be right about the ronald thing it could be it i opened my mouth to scream to cry out in anger all i could say was what the fuck and my mom can't stop me from typing that here because she doesn't know about creepypasta week she saw my instagram account and made me stop there but she doesn't know about this website that was when the alarms began to sound, loud and piercing, like the police sirens of hell. They must have realized I was missing. I shut the doors and frantically glanced around the hallway to see if anyone was coming. No signs yet. I ran for the stairwell. As soon as I entered it, I heard laughter from above, echoing and reverberating. The clown nurses were coming. I stumbled down the stairs as fast as I could. I must have gone another three stories before I reached the basement. I found myself running through a dark, sewer-like hallway with small light bulbs overhead every ten yards or so. The smell of decay and rotting flesh grew more and more pungent as I ran. The laughter continued behind me. I managed to glance over my shoulder and see a group of them running after me. I saw them come into the light, then become silhouettes again, their smiling faces gleaming knives and needles pushing my adrenaline to the max. I ran past alcoves full of stacked, rotting corpses, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't think of anything but escape. Again, the flippantness that just children's bodies are inserted into the story just literally piled up in the sewers. It's a classic. It's a classic trope. I turned a corner and found myself facing the metal rungs of a ladder in the wall. I climbed until my head smacked the ceiling. Below me, the shadows and laughter grew closer. Their footsteps slowed. They were close and they knew it. I pushed at the ceiling above me, heaving upward and panting and screaming. The clowns were below me, laughing and waving their scalpels. Something cut my leg. I screamed and pushed one last time. The ceiling gave way as the manhole cover slammed onto an asphalt above. Circular opening. I climbed down and frantically pushed the cover back over the hole, blocking out the laughter of the clown nurses below. I lay there on top of the manhole cover for a few minutes as I caught my breath. Rain fell on my skin. The turbulent night sky above was a welcoming sight. I looked around. Abandoned buildings, broken glass. No lights, no cars, no signs of any life at all. A police siren somewhere in the distance. Then silence. I climbed to my feet. Pain shot through my leg. I looked down and saw the cut on my ankle where a clown nurse had slashed me. Bastards. Living the best I could, I started to walk. Hello? I called out. The only answer was his distant roll of thunder. Somebody! Help me! please my foot fell on something soft and mushy i looked down a newspaper i peeled it off the wet asphalt most of the ink faded but i was able to make out the date july 13th 1992 what the time travel thing i don't know what happened july oh wait why did he time travel well we don't know yet we'll see what happened why did that okay um all right i dropped it an icy dread filling my stomach i kept walking can anyone hear me please anyone please my words faded into delirious sobs i stood still for a moment. The rain had soaked through my thin hospital gown. I shivered as the wind blew. Then I saw a light in the distance. It was a big yellow M in the sky. A McDonald's, of course. I limped toward it. When I got to the place, I saw that apart from the M, the rest of the building was completely dark. I walked cautiously toward the broken windows and looked inside. Darkness. I turned and surveyed the play place outdoor playground. Ten foot tall structures of colored tubes for kids to crawl through. Sitting at one of the benches was a familiar figure. A Ronald McDonald statue. You know, the one where you can sit beside him and it looks like he's got his arms around your shoulders. Every kid's seen it. I shuddered at the sight. The doors were unlocked. I walked in, out of the rain. silence, darkness. I noticed that the decor wasn't like the modern McDonald's, you see. It was the same as it was in the 80s, with white plastic booths and red and yellow tiles. The wind seemed to whisper through the broken windows. I noticed something on the front counter, a black rectangle. I got closer, a laptop, a nearly new laptop. I let out a soft, delirious laughed i knew what i was supposed to do i took the laptop outside and sat beside the ronald statue i opened it and began to type the story the rain is falling on the keys but i don't care there's nothing left to do now but wait because i've been noticing out of the corner of my eye ronald is trying to look over my shoulder he's laughing now all i can do is join him Dun, dun, dun. You know what? For a classic creepypasta story, doesn't make any fuck. I mean, like, it's so random. But there's just that charm, man. I always love when we kind of come across these old classics from over a decade ago. And it still just has, like, a little bit of charm. The children crucified on the ceiling is the true cherry on top. That's so good. And I choose to believe that the thing, I was right, and the thing inside of the cylinder was the original Ronald McDonald. Yeah, like he's like a little embryo kind of, yeah, some kind of weird thing. You know what? All in all, pretty fun. Also, you have the exact same Ronald McDonald bench. I do. I have a 1985 Ronald McDonald statue, and I'm looking at it right now. He's beautiful. Yeah, and the bench. So you could go, you could be the kid, and you could join Ronald. I will make my own Ronald McDonald house, and before too long, I will crucify children and put them up on my ceiling. that just has to be these are just so interesting to me because it's like what was the train of thought that led to it it's like no did this kid see an image of like an 80s mcdonald's with like the old booze and stuff and he got kind of like the liminal feeling that's been you know super you know played out now but i think kids just write things from what they know you know i mean like it's just this idea it's the same thing of why there's a squidward suicide and it's just these things of uh they just know about it they know other kids know about it and it's just there's just the level of innocence it's so funny too it's just like what's the most what's the weirdest most fucked up thing i can think of to put into a story and i love that the story doesn't really have like any real purpose besides being like what if what if there's a place where ron mc the people dressed up like clowns and they tried killing you but there's no real explanation anything it's just like these little vignettes of like crazy thoughts. And there's like a real, there's like an interesting charm to that. It's just from a different time. You know, I just, that's, that's why I like it. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. I like the, I like the, how it goes from like, Oh, I was a bad kid. So anyway, here's the crazy nurses and it's a giant building and the kids are crucified. Anyway, I'm time traveled now for some reason to July 13th, 1992, which as far as I can find does not mean anything. Like that date has no, significance. And I'm in an old McDonald's and I'm now part of the McDonald's collective. Something that's not been brought up or mentioned at any point. I can't tell if that's supposed to be an extension of the Ronald McDonald house is what I'm thinking. It maybe is. Either that or time travel. We just don't know. I don't know. Regardless, you know what? It was fun. It's a close one between the two, but I've got to say I think I like that first story a touch better. Yeah, Luigi Boardroom was fun. That's our episode today, guys. Thank you for joining along with us. and hanging out, be sure to check out the links below and support the authors. We really would appreciate that. Thank you to our audio listeners over on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, anywhere you can listen to an Apple Podcast. Thanks for giving us a nice rating. And also, thank you to our patrons. And if you want some extra content, check out the Patreon. It helps us out. Until next time, guys, stay creeped. We'll see you next week. Stay creeped. Appreciate you guys. And the motorcycle wreck was very cool and scary and brave of me in the time. the video just didn't do it justice and Hunter's wrong for making fun of me for it so just remember that I'm special bye Thank you. Thank you.