Kym Whitley & Sarah Colonna: Booster Seats & Nominations

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops. Stop fucking apologizing. You're not making it any better. You're just reminding me how late we are. I know I'm specific. I know I'm a little high maintenance, which is why I tip really fucking well. I don't wanna start shit, but. Oh, really? Really? Okay. Really? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Jeff Lewis has issues. Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has issues. In today's episode, Kim Whitley and Sarah Colona joined the show. We talk about Kim's nomination and her teenager's booster seat, plus Sarah shares her list of items she'll keep if she gets divorced. Morning. Good morning. Good morning. Welcome back. You were at the Super Bowl this weekend. I was, yes. I was it. It was really fun. See this one. I didn't see any posts about the halftime show though. You didn't post about it? Yeah, I did. On my stories. I have to tell you we. It was really fun. A lot of dancing was happening. It's so crazy because I was never a bad bunny fan. I didn't even really know his music at all. But I really, I liked the show. I liked his music now too. I know I downloaded a bunch of it right after. I was like, this is, it was fun. It was a very fun like dancing and it just, I, I didn't watch the other time I'd been to the Super Bowl was when John won. Or well, they're actually the lost that one. But I didn't go, I didn't watch the halftime show. It was Katy Perry and Missy Elliott. And I didn't watch it because I had to go get, that's when you go get drinks and go to the bathroom because everyone's in their seats. Sorry, Katie. I know. But this time I was like, I made John go get me one and then I stayed. Were you wearing some sort of like Super Bowl necklace of some kind? Yeah, I have a, I have a, I forgot to wear it today. I told Key and I would and then I forgot it. But it's the top. It's the top of the ring. And so, and then- I spent as a former NFL player. Oh yeah, yeah. I've been doing research on it. Shit, yeah. And I learned some things about her in the green room. Oh, you did? Yeah. Oh yeah, we've been chatting because I watched her stand up. But wait, let's get back to bad bunny. I just got one quick question. Why didn't they put English subtitles? They know a lot of us can't speak Spanish. I wanted to know what he was saying. I mean, I got it in the field and I loved it, but I really wanted to, now I don't know how to go back and figure out what the songs were about. I'll tell you what, I didn't care. I didn't care. He's so good looking. I didn't even care. It made me feel warm downstairs. And it's been a while. Yeah. Why did I agree with that? It's fantastic. I love that. A good bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny. So was it so fun just being there? It was really fun. It was, yeah, I mean, I had been, like I said, to one before. And John obviously has never, he was like confused about sitting in the stands because he kept, he was like, wow, it takes a really long time to get a drink. I'm like, yeah, welcome to sitting in the stands, asshole. Like this was like for normal people, but he had so much fun. So his career was, how many years did he play? 12, in the NFL. And did, how many times, he went to Super Bowl at least once, right? Twice, yeah. Twice. Yeah, so he won. He played in the Super Bowl twice. Yes, he won one. And then they lost this second year. But so he has a ring. Yeah, and he's played twice. He has a great retirement plan. He does have a really good retirement plan. People don't know. Sarah was walking around with that ring around her necklace. But on you people probably thought it was fake. I got this asshole. I don't know, I believe it. What's wrong with you, Kim? Do you know what? Because I like Jeff. No, it's the top of the ring. So basically the ring ceremony, they gave him an option to buy that. So he got me one, his mom, his sisters. So a ring, but you cut the ring off? Yeah, it's just the, it's on a necklace instead. You cut it or you ordered it that way? You order it that way. It's just the top of the ring. So that's how ghetto I am. I was like, oh, they took it to the shop. You have to cut the ring. If you get divorced, would he want that back? No, no. He can't have it 10 years, whatever you said, right? Don't want to get to keep whatever I want now? Exactly. Pretty much. You can't have it. Nope, you don't get none of the kuchi back. He can't have it. Sorry, sorry. Are there things that you would fight him over in the divorce? Like would you, would you want the house, or do you care? Yeah, I'll keep the house. Okay, so you want the house. And all the cats. You want the house, the cats. Yeah. He can have those fucking Christmas decorations, right? Yeah, yeah. Or no, you want to keep them just to be spiteful. Oh, that's a good idea. I'll do that just to be spiteful. Don't you think he wants the cats too? He does, but he can't have them. Well, so it's like. Are they like expensive cats or alley cats? No, no, alley cats, real alley cats. But she just has a lotion attachment. Got it. To her animals. Okay. Most people do, right? Yes, I think so. Yeah, I fight for my pets. Are you giving up the house for the cats? I'm not giving up anything. Why do we, I'm not getting a divorce. 10 years. She's already giving up the cat. You're tenured now. Yeah, I'm tenured, Kim, whatever that means. You know what it means, girl. I'm excited, we're excited for you. To remain married. Because I was worried he was going to pull the parachute right before the 10 year mark. Really? Where is he going? What does he have? But her. He's a man. What is a nice looking man? No, I'm talking about these NFL players. He is successful, but you know, NFL players, what I feel like is that they're young, but they double in age because of the beating they take. See, look at how cute he is. Yeah, he's handsome. He's still cute. My nose looks big in that photo though. I told him that and he said it doesn't, but it does. But you're cute as a button. Well, thanks girl. It was real humid there in case anyone can't tell. Would you fight for rainbow and butterfly? Oh, I would fight for, you're right, absolutely a rainbow and a butterfly. Do you know who rainbow and butterfly are? That's Ramon and Floyd. No, they're the ones that do the decorating Christmas time. Oh, right. Oh, yes. She calls them rainbow, I mean, they do a beautiful job. I would fight for them in a divorce. Oh, absolutely. That's not even up for, please, discussion. Are you gonna have a Christmas party? I'm looking at your husband. Does he have friends? I didn't know your husband was that cute. Yeah, he's real handsome. Oh, I'm gonna come in. Yeah, well, now you should have come to the party. I'm coming to the party. The next party I'm coming. Okay, she was gonna come. Yes. When's the next party? I don't know. I said there was a summer party, Easter party. You're not coming. What are you talking about? What? What happened? Oh, because I've been mean lately. No, no, you can come. You can come to John's party. No, you'll have once he divorces me. When is the next party? She said you all showed up at her party. They all showed up at my show. At your show. They are disruptive. I know, I've got to, I know, I know. This group. I didn't understand the, see, here we are. I mean, I wouldn't call us friends, Sarah, but we're colleagues. We're friends. You love me. Absolutely. I didn't know in the comedy world that if you go to a friend's comedy show, you do not sit in the front row. I did not know the rules, the protocol. I am sorry, I fucked up. But you have a lot of comedian friends. So many. But I've never gone to see any of them. Oh, right, that's right. Okay, there's, maybe you are. Truly, I've never gone to see any of them. So I bought 10 tickets right in the front row. I thought this would be great. So all the chumps were right along the front row. Even naked Annie, all of it. She said, she goes, she goes that Annie, she's always naked. I didn't see. I'm down in a sweater. Because you knew I was coming. Yeah, so she's always showing her belly right now. But you don't want to sit up. Yeah, you don't sit up front. Like my parent, my mom is coming because I'm performing Springfield, Missouri Springfield comedy club this weekend. And it's just a couple hours drive for them. So all my family's coming and I broke the club and I said, don't put them anywhere near the front. Thank you. I don't want to look at my mom's face while I'm talking. Crazy. I fucked up. But you know what? You all were good. But you guys are good laughers. They're great laughers. Well, well. No, what happened? Not according to Caroline Ray. No. Not according to Caroline Ray. Caroline Ray was upset. You were laughing? They were. They were laughing, but I wasn't like, ha, ha, ha. I mean, I was laughing. She made me laugh. Yes, right. She's funny. Also, in Josephence, he was sober. He was choking my tail. I was sober and I was sick. Why? Okay. I was sober and sick. Okay. But. Just, okay. He wasn't drinking because he had a cold. I'm going to tell you, you and Caroline, I really am sorry. I want to go again. But I'm going to sit. How far back do I have to sit? It's at the ice house, right? Right. Sit at the improv. Okay. That was funny. At a different club. Thank you. Do I sit on the next, like front row of the next level? No. No, no, no, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 Yes, like she she did crowd work, but she had no fucking problem like coming for me and all the other chunks It was really funny. Yeah, I mean she's that said though. I'm scared. I'm gonna sit in the back next. Yeah. Yeah, I know I can't do Yeah, I yeah, that's uh, it's bright. It's bold to go in on your on people that you know It's difficult kind of because what you want it to be natural like you want when you do crowd work You want it to be right? You want it to feel natural? So it feels like And I'm like yeah, and yeah, remember that Yeah, that's right. You're telling your business especially if they have big feet and Jeff has big feet. So there's that whole thing Do you have big feet, Jeff? I don't know. Look at him Can I ask you why did Caroline Ray dress as a Vegas showgirl when she was here? Did you that's right? Did you trick her somehow? We were going to Vegas to do Jimmy Kimmel together And I think I said something it got that's why you don't text Oh, I think in the text message it got we're going to Wear a Vegas outfit because she yelled at me. She's I thought we're gonna be showgirls and I was like She was dressed as you set her up. I do that you did it So you were telling her wear something to wear to Vegas Yeah, like you're going to Vegas after the show show Something got mixed up because then she wore no she literally wore a Vegas showgirl outfit And was confused that she wasn't dressed that way right No, I was here that day because I saw her you guys come in So you were traveling that day? Yes, we were on so you were just like where something to travel to Vegas I don't know what I said, but it got I got in trouble. I feel like that's something you change into once you get to Vegas Right Of course she'd wear it George. She said she goes I'd wear it make it Annie would wear it It's very conservative today. Yeah, why she's here. I knew it. I'm gonna stop that body shaming that I do I don't want to show a lot of skin when I have a tan I show a lot of skin. Oh Why is that you're white? It's supposed to be your color. Why am I white? No You could not be white, but I know if ice is around, huh? I'm white you are white Yes, that is your your Caucasian period. So why so that's your color you show you be proud of that white. Oh, I am proud I am proud. Okay We all just look a little bit better with a tan No, it's better, but you gotta be careful Sudden now I heard after the ice house you became Reacquainted with Miranda and Raven Yes, I come in he brought He brought Raven Simone and my wife Miranda and they you know, I've been on her for years Yeah, I didn't know her wife and then they invited me on their podcast We had a ball and they kept asking me are you chump? Are you a chump? I was like they are really friends with Jeff and now like they were just showing off their little tightness And and I was like a chump and they explained it because you've told me I've explained it to you before I know but then they made me gay. She doesn't listen. They made you gay. Yes. Wait, I'm sorry Congratulations. No, no, no, no, no on their podcast. They were like Kim. You're gonna come out the closet I was like, what is it? I was at what closet? Where is the closet? They were so because I liked Miranda skin kind of like Annie's she has gorgeous Like girl skin her skin there were no pores and I accidentally said can I lick your face? Yes, so I I'd never seen Her skin like that. I know I was at the N. W. C. Another person. I was at the NAACP Luncheon and the young man Tariq that played the lead in that movie him We heard something from Oscar behind the mask, let me tip. I know who you talking about and that's wow that man is fine Can we see him? Can we see him now he bring him in no it shocked me Bring him in easy. No You when you don't understand He came on stage and I you know how it stops you like I had never seen Anything that chiseled wow beautiful and tall and I wasn't ready. They were filming and he I turned around He put it on his Instagram to my mouth is open. I looked at his face. I was like, oh He was gorgeous. He was 12 years old probably but he was so you're horny No, I'm a whore. I mean no I heard we know what happened. You told me in the green room. I right I did I did but I'm not what it is I Love people and either I love people good-looking No, not I'm not a pan because I don't know what that I Any double words in her mouth and you stop it. No, I love I don't want to have sex with people But I love to look at the different. I'm an artist. I just like you like attractive people Well, you don't have sex with them. You don't have sex with that man not not not no Come on Oh, we should have you on my Chris Hanson. Oh, yeah, I love Chris. I stalk him like Chris. I didn't write those emails I really think we should get rainbow and butterfly on this show. Oh, they sound really fun. Oh, yeah, they're good time They are hilarious that dad gone. Look at who is that next to him? Yeah, I can't that's not even y'all Now we're just scrolling photos of his Instagram. No, you understand this young man is so gorgeous And you know and I should have told it's been half the show on this guy. No, you're right How old is he we've spent it on I don't we look at that is that him on the show? Whoa I think you might want to have sex I'm just not with him. I'm just saying in general his father maybe okay I did ask. Well, he's probably got an attractive father. He looks like that probably has an attractive daddy I can't even pull up. But well, how do we get on to I don't know You don't like men with soft hands. I heard My business I'm sick of him Cuz then now it's a woman touching me. I like a little a little Their hands to feel kind of like mine a little no, do you know the Funniest thing I have never told anyone is this has happened. I'm good friends with Stevie Wonder and his wife Tamika So Stevie I was over there house a little party. Do you know Stevie came to me was the funniest thing So it was three women I was in the middle You know, he's touching He's a hey, can we see he said why your hands feel like you're fixing cars Because he's that's can't he's And maybe he's probably very sensitive right? Yes, you know his other senses are more heightened. Yeah, I need a hand transplant To girl hands or maybe just some lotion. That's a thought Now what if so we have I still can't get over this guy we have this window door guy, right? He's really good at his and he's he's like a masculine dude. Totally. What's a window door guy? He like sells us when he puts on our windows glass What that's what he does, but he has the highest voice You have ever heard on a man Kim. No impossible. Hey, Shane I can come by today and measure for the windows if you like it is the craziest thing It's like I feel like I look around for hidden cameras like it's Mickey Mouse or so crazy thing great. Oh, totally 100% It's like, okay, so I come on Thursday Another man I could never sleep with could you imagine? No, wait, yeah, that would be turning him to a new job and I was like Jeff We're gonna have to have a conversation with them face-to-face. I don't think I can without without laughing wait wait Is he good looking is he good like he's mad? I mean he's fine. He's just like a man. What's wrong with a man with a high voice It's higher than yours really it is higher than you We would find a man with a higher voice than yours. I need you to interview him talk to him Cuz what if he had he was like, you know, I used to have a deep voice, but then I got nodules And then it went up so we got a fight it could have been a medical thing Oh, maybe it is and you're judging him Shane Shane making fun of me. He's not gay He's a dude how tall is he? Oh, he's little and he's out of control Why are you in he's like from the wizard? It might be medical you're right it could be the Wizard of all kind of thing. He's like little little Guys he has childhood trauma and then that makes your voice It could be a medical thing. It could be a medical. Let's go with that. Yeah, you stop developing a deep voice We haven't given the benefit of the doubt and but who's gonna we're not gonna ask him. Why's your voice so high? No, you can't I will Do you find that when I talked him on the phone? I actually even overcompensate and go deeper because I get so self-conscious I'm like God. I hope my voice isn't that high and then you talk even deeper. Oh, yeah Yeah, did you do that to Shane? Oh, no, I love to queen out with him I'm fine up here with him, but you do you're like, oh, yeah, if it's a 8x5 Maybe you're like hoping when you do it that his voice a little longer. Yes. I talk like Rick Levin thought Maybe he's choosing to talk like that because you guys talk like oh, he's trying to be an ally. No, I don't think no There's there's something something wrong. Have you ever looked at Jeff and wanted to do it? Isn't he just handsome? I was looking at him and I was like, have you ever felt like I felt like before you were married? She has not She's been married. Yeah, have you said it all the time? Yeah Oh, I don't feel bad. She stares at me a little too long. Yeah. Oh, I've used Listen to this show with one hand We're both gonna get He likes I do now, let me ask you this Joshua. He's 15 now And when do we start like getting in behind the wheel? Oh, no, no, no driving these kids They're not Millennium's. What are they this year these type? X Y's whatever they are Whatever the kids are huh, isn't he Jenna? Is that They don't drive they want to Uber they're not asking to drive She said nobody drives anymore that that's what she told me she's a baby though. She's nine. She's not no She's Jenna, but he's Jenna and Joshua was Jenna to 2010 to 2024 is Jenna. He was 2011 So does he want to drive or does he care? I? Don't think he wants to drive. It's not crazy They don't have to they've been taking places this Uber thing So in order that's stressful to learn and they said wait to your until your child Ask to learn to drive don't or some don't say you got to start driving a lot of parents do because they need they're like I'm tired of taking yes, exactly But they said you got to wait until they ask I have friends children in college and they don't know how to drive I'm afraid Monroe's never gonna ask just never because I don't know if they'll come I don't know if it'll ever turn back, you know, sometimes it'll be like oh cool again to start driving But I don't think it'll ever turn back because there's just more and more ways to get around But you could start with a golf cart. That's what I did with Palm Springs My friend okay, and he kind of got interested And so he'll drive that and then take him to the you know speed racing those things go car places We did that at Disneyland. So did she have fun doing it? Well, I drove Per usual I drove her You know you have to let her drive so she can feel the power Is the control that you make Joshua sit in the back seat? You know what this is you this is the thing. There's a law. Okay. Listen if the key, okay The thing is this if a child never knows that they can sit in the front they don't know the law Why would he I don't need him in the front seat. I have to put my purse somewhere my snacks Does he ever go by other cars and sees that other people are in the front and think oh no, I said you're still too young He doesn't know the law he doesn't know he could have been up there years ago Oh, so you're telling him you legally cannot be in the front seat I just told him there's a law that came out. They said these kids have to be in a booster seat until they're like 16 It's a new law in California. Wait, I'm telling you Joshua in a booster seat be quiet You have a you're 15 year old in a booster seat There is a law if I get pulled over he has to sit in a booster seat. He doesn't like it That is not true Somebody Get out at like eight. There's no way We have some really stupid laws, but that can't be one supposed to see the girl told me I don't think so. I think at 15 you can get out of the booster seat. I think so It's a meme it's it's not real. It's a meme Eight years old or four nine. I'm assuming he's taller than four nine Welcome to the club Okay, so he can he does not need a booster seat. He doesn't listen to your show. Haha, so he won't know It's safe to have how tall is he? He's my height is about five nine If you put him on a booster seat doesn't his head hit the roof of the car But he's thin so he fit in the okay, okay, I will let him sit in the front, but I don't like it I'm always afraid that that airbag or something. Yes. I know what you mean. I know what you mean No, he's 15 Once in a while on a short drive I'll let her sit in the front But then I start getting worried about those airbags and I think she's so little those airbags could really do some damage So then I put her in the back seat when I did drivers education I'll never forget the teacher said and what's the seat next to the driver and we all say? Passenger and he said no, it's the death seat. Oh, you're in that seat. You're dying and we were all my god Because I think accidents happen and then you know Shane you need to sit in the back now. Yeah, I do you can just tell your son That's the I'm gonna I'm gonna We need to get you in a booster as class is so comfortable in the back. I don't care I'm like lay down You have to just tell him that it can that it's the death seat and then he won't want to I want to sit in the back. I do say drugs will kill you if you ever do because you just start going to high school So I do say that said death. Which one's all of them I said if you go in the back when you see the kids Do not do drugs. Oh, no drugs Annie It will kill you if you say that to a child because an adult told me his mother did that and he said it saved me because she was like death I Do a drug you're done. Have him read. Do you remember sweet Valley High? No, you remember that? Yeah, those books were really good and that girl Regina She did cocaine at a party and it stopped her heart and she died and that kept me from doing cocaine until my 20s I Was taking Unusual punishment when Josh when Joshua steps out of line, how do you punish him? Chase him around with peanut butter I Used to but it was horrible. I will put peanut butter on my finger I probably should be in jail right now and I would say don't do it again. I run around the house with a little peanut butter He's like, you know, I'm allergic But no, he has to this is black mama stuff He has to do matter of fact yesterday. He has to do push-ups He has to run around like give me some laps laps on the tennis court on the tennis court I didn't want to say it but you have one I Had to do laps on the tennis court. He has to do push-ups and Sit-ups all the things he has to wear. He had to do him yesterday. What do you do? I have to yes do push-ups and sit ups. No, but what did he do? Oh? Get the punishment leaving Dishes and trash and like a cup of noodle soup right there on the table watching TV He doesn't put anything away That just trying to remind him to put your dishes in the course wash up put your trash up No one is running behind you and I couldn't take it I was like, how do I teach him and I said every time you do that you have to give me 50 push-ups jumping jacks everything I'm having a little issue with that leaving cuz she's like me she's five drinks And they just all left on the coffee table. I'm like, hello Who's picking this up and then she'll leave her shoes and she'll put them on the island which makes me nuts And then she'll leave sweater she does that too, but I don't punish her I just tell her to do it and then she'll do it, but I'm sick of telling her every day Just tell him it's illegal. Just tell him it's illegal like you do with the car thing. Yeah I can't I have to make sure he's brilliant But I have the same issue with my other kids because yesterday He's talking about yesterday there were two used glasses sitting on the on the countertop next to the sink And did you hear me when I made the announcement? I'm like, okay. Thanks for leaving your glasses here guys So that's what I want to do. I want to do your dishes So I don't know which two of the seven but of course no one says a word But there were two glasses left out put them in the dishwasher. You made it all the way to the sink So no one came in. I don't know I Don't know who it was. It's either Kean any Shane Justin Bieber I vividly remember getting the sponge and wiping my lipstick off a cup and being like, oh, this is so annoying And then like putting it in the dishwasher So it wasn't me yesterday. Okay, but you should oh, maybe you should tell baby girl that She has to Live by example and you say you put things up daddy will learn it will help everyone in the house Mmm, cuz you know girls they like to oh, I'm gonna show them. Yeah, they're gonna I'm gonna teach daddy I love glasses. I put her to work last week because she was home sick all week with that superflu Oh, so I said hey, you need to do daddy a favor. I said since I'm gone I want you to keep an eye on all the employees and I want to know who's talking who's working She took no she did not sure did she thought she was on traders That is hilarious. Oh, she was so funny So so I called and I called her nanny and I said hey, how's she doing? What's her temperature the whole thing she goes well, she's in she's in the in her playroom She's writing notes and I go. Oh, what's she writing? She won't tell me what they are I go can I speak to her and so I get on the phone you remember and She's like daddy. Okay, so I've been right. I've been right now notes Justin keeps talking he keeps coming out He's been talking to so-and-so for this many minutes and so was it for that I go. Thank you so much Monroe I said you're my mall. I said keep keep an eye on him Uh-huh, so she was keeping track of everybody left. She loved it. I mean she she's a cheese most off She woke us up. She will tell she'll do whatever she can No, literally whenever I hit the curb before you even got the door open. She's like any crush your car Oh, what's going on with the tires? I just got an email that they came in so I'm going tomorrow after work tomorrow night She ran into a curb in front of my house. Yes and popped her tire So then they told her that she actually needed two tires. Thank God because the other it happened for me Because then when I went in there like first of all you ordered the wrong size tire So we can't install it but also you need to get another tire You're sorry the one has exposed wires and you're gonna have a blowout. Oh, wow So it was like the universe was protecting me Really didn't protect you from that curve though Can you promote your stand-up dates coming up, please? Yes, everyone if you'd like to see me live I don't know what that voice is. I'll be in Texas Dallas area the Arlington improv March 5th and 7th, I mean March 5th through 7th, then I go to Cleveland March 27 28th at the funny bone in Cleveland And there's a lot of other dates and I am Kim Whitley calm is or my Instagram anything What about you sir? I'm gonna do them after the next break. Oh, that's an yeah But so for the oh the day but you have a show so for the dates Yes, the cities the dates the venues the tickets you go to I am Kim Whitley calm. Yeah, okay Why am K? Why am but then okay? So you said you were going to go to Arlington? March 5th through 7th and then March 27th to 8th I mean Cleveland, Ohio the funny bone and then I go to April 27th. I'm in Louisville, Kentucky April 17 17. I got you Sarah. Would you just a grab? Louisville, Kentucky may Oklahoma plus shows through May around America tickets at I am Kim K. Y. M. Whitley calm. Well, thank God for Sarah And I am up for an NAACP image award, please everyone go vote at NAACP dot org and go to special variety show and I hosted HBCU honors and click on that well voting ends neck on Friday It depends who are the other Contenders why does it pit? Do you I want to know before I vote? No, you look for my face Well, I mean, okay, there's some who else is nominated. I think Kevin Hart. Oh, I love Kevin Hart Was that good looking guy not I love Kevin Hart. He's very funny All right, so if we want to go Kevin, hi, where do we go Kevin Hart? Where do we go Kevin heart calm? I think yeah H a RT Where do we have been here not yet? But where do we see him like this? Where do we see him again? No, you're gonna go to Kim Whitley Kevin is so funny live He should do a show Caroline break I Got me in a peach redish what is going on? I mean, I understand Jameson has a couple diseases, but what about why is Oscar? Okay, it's just attention. He's fine. Okay. You're okay. He's a little cold I'm not laughing Oscar His eyes pop yes beautiful eyes and they match the mass You should wear that mask really cute look how cutie is with the mask But he has great It's silky You love me I do look at him. He's cute though. Thank you. You ever had a black girl Have actually yeah Oh boy She's probably determined that was a lie Love coming on the show. Oh my goodness. Y'all are silly Sarah what you been doing? Okay? Oh, I'm gonna ask you about your dogs. Oh, yes So you are obsessed and love your dogs. Yes, just like she likes her cats. Mm-hmm. I have a Boxer and I have a terrier mix and I got the terrier, you know from an adoption, you know, yeah Yeah, I really believe in that and then the box. I've always wanted a boxer. So I got him from Texas So I didn't really good. I really believe have you seen these videos where you let the dog picks you the dog pick you Yes, so I've always done that I remember when I first I even if it's like a pet store wherever or adoption I let the dog come to me and pick me that's always been the best dog My brother my brother my son wanted this other dog and I was like, no I want the chubby one and the chubby one came to me. I don't know why So I really love them because we're except the boxer I will I love the boxer, but he did knock me in the pool and I had to have surgery Oh, that's a whole thing. What like you jumped on you or something? Yeah, you don't you have to research your dogs people don't understand you have to research which I didn't know boxers were so like crazy and And and and out of control and he was six months old and I was watering plants by the pool my feet crossed And I saw him coming he came and he clipped me and I went in the pool and I snapped my neck What oh my god, so I had to have emergency surgery Because I didn't want to hit my head on the side It was like the jacuzzi part and I went in and I came out like the ring and this was so crazy No one was home, but I got out the pools 105 in the valley I'm burning myself Because I can't get up I can't stand up. Oh, no, I'm trying to get out the water It was I went through a lot and then I reached my phone That's why I keep the string on the phone wherever I pulled it and I just called the last person I talked to and I said please come to the house and I was able to get up, but I Had spine surgery neck we didn't call 911. You know, I just forget that that's available So you go in you sit down you let the puppies come to you and choose you yes always have I bet if Kevin Hart was in there They would all go to Kevin Hart. What and then how do we vote for Kevin Hart? Or can you go to variety special variety? How are you? Who's in charge of this and you go to variety special variety. Let's see who other contenders are Uh, and and and and what's it called? Which one it is under which categories? It's under that variety show I'm not seeing that it is made this up. No, it's under variety and like outstanding variety go to outstanding Series or special series or special Outstanding variety and you look up me and you will see H can we all vote you can vote and I want you to vote for a white like a single day Because the voting is over on Friday. I don't know there it is series or special right there. Oh great There I am in the middle see that Is there a picture? Oh One wonderful night Picture is there a picture? There's no picture. There is no picture of me. I am on the picture somewhere I don't see you on this picture HBC you thought they had a better chance Is that me in the corner or is that surely oh they're gonna get more votes cuz you're off Okay, so who is on the picture then if it's not Kim Whitley? Oh my gosh, that is you know, David Banner Oh, yeah, Shirley Caesar. Yes, I can't believe you got cut out I'm usually on there. That's so crazy. So you're they're asking you to promote it yet. They cut you off They cut you out. Well, I they I'm gonna be at the award show and I if we win I am going up to get that award Yeah, you better push David Banner out of the way But you know, there's a lot of other good shows here to vote for no, there's not you don't even know those people Alice the dick is a Oh, no any of these I know oh my god. I've heard of them The beat Are you okay? So she's who are you voting for then probably the BET Awards? That was a spectacular program You have never even watched BET you are so white you don't even have it on your channel I'm gonna vote for wicked one one wonderful night. Don't you is that what you're voting for Jameson? Okay, that's true I want you to get one. Thank you. Is anyone gonna vote for it's HBCU honors Historically black college and university is a reward show. I went to fist University What did you say? Looks like you date black you better start speaking I love y'all I'm gonna vote for you like five times I don't think it's gonna be enough votes for you to win over wicked and the BET Wicked as a shoe in I'm so sorry I didn't see that I voted you see you see my future boyfriend. Yeah, boom you voted for her I wonder if the chumps could go I promise you can't navigate this thing It will though we go together for you to receive your award and then we find men. This is the problem Oh, you'll go with yeah, okay. No, she's gonna be half naked. I will take you out. Yeah. Do you understand? I will use you. Yeah Yeah, she will go out and I will snatch up her leftovers Now do you take the dogs to daycare? No, I don't who watches them when you're gone. I do wags a lot and I do Wags. Yes. That's what we're gonna go. No. No wags is a app. They come over Wag right On highland on highland okay, and in valley I go to Andes. I'm a wag. Great. You go to wag juice No, I'm a lags called wife and girlfriend Yeah I'm trying to take my daddy to daycare the dogs too. It's a lot going on in my house with the dog with the We're taking Toby to wag on Highland Okay, and then but we're very excited because they have an indoor outdoor situation Where the dog can go outside and lay in the sun at the wag Kiki Beach Like lawn chairs out there and stuff things for them to lay on I don't know where oh there's misters There's everything. Oh, that's so cute. Yeah, towel service everything House Yeah, okay for people that can't afford that you can go to Andy's groomer They can lay out by the curb there Andy's groomer is great He's gonna talk about and then they have and they bring their drinks and towels and they do their toes They will do grooming services Nail trimming shampoo. Oh, yeah All of it they can stay there when you're out of deep tissue. Oh, yeah, what about babies sitting your animals? They will do that, but I we're just I'd rather have people at the house with the dog. Yeah, I do that I cannot but you're you have little dogs big dogs. No, I have one kind of is it kind of big medium He's like what 30? One dog two cats and a kid. Wow who is watching the property any dog going? Yes, yeah, Toby. Oh, no, he's Toby's good. Yeah, he's good. He's pretty good watchdog. What about your dog? I boxer. It's that boxer. Yeah, but he wasn't it was the little one but the boxer I never took away his sack and that's what it so now he's gotten really like So I want to do you fix your dogs? Yeah, I gotta take those off. I don't want to Got a sack I know I shouldn't but I like looking at him I really do think you need to get laid But I look at them they're so funny to me cuz they okay, it's wrong. I did say something that just does look like I'm crazy But you do want to get him fixed cuz it don't say like I feel like it looks weird when they're gone They spray or anything. No, they took the vet said it's time. I just don't want to put that cone on his head I'm gonna do it. I feel like he's my baby and I think the sacks would throw it off You know me like I don't want to see balls on Toby. No, okay. Okay, you're right In a soft cone, it's cute. They're like the soft Like a little you know cuz you said this I am going to cuz I know my assistant is listening, please I got to get his canona's caninas with the honey. Thank you, honey I gotta get those removed and then Sarah. Can you promote your stand updates? You have a lot of dates on the next few months Yes, Springfield, Missouri this weekend February 12th through 14th the 20th in Chicago 21st St. Louis 27th and 28th in Iowa Emmetsburg and Clinton 6th through 7th in Boston. That's March March 26 to 28th Appleton, Wisconsin And April 10th and 11th Arlington, Virginia Sarah Kelowna.com great and then also if you want to vote for Kevin Hart go to How do you do it we explained it to chumps Google NAACP vote and then you go to the first link that comes up and then you vote for the outstanding variety series or special There's not a picture of chem. It's very confusing. It's the HBCU 2025 honorees that you vote for I'm gonna Thank you. I'm gonna bring that up. You need to call them today today Fucked up that they asked you to come here and promote it and your pictures not even on it You know what? I'm gonna bring it up. They want you to go on that website and let it choose you know this week I am gonna be on the Sherry Shepherd show. Oh my god. That's right Thursday and then next week I'm gonna do a Valentine's special. I'm gonna fly out tomorrow Go to Sherry show do a Valentine's special fly right back cuz I have a meeting at the school and then next week I'm going back to New York and we're gonna do another show together you and Sherry. Yes Why do you have a meeting at the school? What's going on with Joshua? Well, you know push-ups sounds like push-ups and sit-ups are coming his way. Well, since it's a new school I'm gonna do there's so many things I want to talk about we're going on the we're gonna go out I know Carolina will be right, but I have to make her go do local spots like the ice house Go do that together you should I actually was thinking about it in the bathroom was telling Shane you guys are really great together Yeah, I'm gonna make her go so maybe when Caroline can't do it. Yes, Sarah. Yes, I have to wear a Vegas showgirl outfit Yes, please I've got a lot of no Sarah does not do comedy in town So I'm always on the road Why why what am I always on the road and then when I get home? I don't I do five shows in a week And I don't want to come go do like a few minutes at the you know at the local club I used to all the time, but now Kim and I are gonna do it Yes, how do you work on new material then when I'm done five hours a week on stage? I'll just do it Just throw it in there. Yeah, I work it out up in there. Okay. That's there. Yeah I do want to promote our live show coming up in Phoenix So it's you go to Phoenix dot standup live commie been to stand up live in Phoenix. No, okay So we're doing a live show on Thursday March 26th. It's Jeff Lewis live hot to go right now We have Doug Jameson Shane Kean patrick pole and then special guests Shenan Bador and Beverly D. Angela will be joining So you go to Phoenix dot standup live comm now for tickets We have sold out of the VVIP, but we have VIP and then general admission still available also Todd is coming to do the pre-show I don't know if you mentioned that oh You're I didn't mention his name. I maybe I did that on purpose. I'm trying to sell tickets Okay, that's hilarious Thanks for listening if you want more of this listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on Sirius XM as well as the Jeff Lewis channel exclusively on the Sirius XM app