Comedian Epstein Files

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It represents me and my Z28 with the T-tops down, driving down Route 1 late at night after maybe an AA meeting or a nice hot set all alone. What do you think, a 96 or so? Ooh. This song? 95. Only 95 or something like that? Maybe. Yeah. All my dreams are coming true. I know it's gotta be around that year because this song to me is only my right after high school girlfriend masturbating on a super eight tape. Nice. To this song? Yeah. Pop radio, this song particularly. Maybe this was a good part? Yeah. I had to throw them away when I became an adult myself. I just found all mine. No, throw them out, Bobby. No. You have to. I will not. They're illegal, I think. I just, well, I'm gonna look into that, but. No, no. I might be grandfathered in. No. No. I will tell you, it took me into my twenties to go, oh, I can't have this. I have them all. I went up in the attic. No. To find some Christmas tree thing, or she told me, and I opened up a box and there they were. And you know what I did found? I found the red tape. Burn them. I found the red tape. The porn. You know the history of the red tape? The porn? Yeah. My red tape. Yeah. You know it? Well, maybe not yours, go on. Maybe I know this. I had a porn that was my. Go to. Go to golden. This is it. But I would give it away. I would give it away every once in a while. I gave it to Dane. I've given it to Gary Goman. It was red. Was it in Up and Comers? I don't know. Up and Comers is coming to red tape. I think it started with an S. Okay. I don't know if the thing's still on it, but I would give it away, but it would always come back. Nice. I remember a year later, Gary came up to me and said, he handed it to me and goes, thanks man, I'm done with it. I'm done. I went back and I wound up giving it to somebody else. And it always came back to me. And the reason why this tape was so magical is because it was scenario based, but at the end of each scenario, they would come out of character to let you know it's okay. But you know it's okay? So what just happened? What just happened on the tape? Why shouldn't it have been okay? You know, it was a couple scenarios that my brother. You might have to just throw that box right into the fucking, the river by you. I can't get, I'm going to give the red tape to Jacob. Next. That's fine. Maybe Jacob, you're going to have a little bit of snuff pornography in your house. No, it's not snuff. I'd say hide it inside your Nazi tape. No one will think you look good. No one will know it's on your Nazi book. I think I should, I think I should, would you accept the red tape? You can give it back whatever you want. You might want to have Dawn go start bringing those tapes now, Bobby. No dude, I got one video I'm looking for. Why? Because. How old are you? I'm 19, 20, 20, 21, 22. How old are they? Oh, they're at legal age. It doesn't matter. Yeah. That's not what I'm talking about. I think. I mean high school stuff. I think. With my chick. Well, I think they were out of high school. Yeah. I think they went to school. Bobby, burn them? No, no. I've never, you know that. I've never, I've never been into younger chicks. I've always dated chicks. No, no, no, no. It's not the issue. It's not a matter of being in the younger chicks. I was young when this happened. It's just a matter of when you're not young anymore and you still have the tapes. Yeah, no dude. You can't have that. You understand they came out where our age difference. I couldn't have because when I was your age, when you were filming it, the technology wasn't there. So the technology came in when I was in my early late 19s, late teens and early 20s. So you, you got to film pedophile porn. Yes. And I. It's called child pornography. The pedophile is the person who is overage partaking. Well, I mean, you say tomato, I say tomato. But. No, no, you said pedophile and I'm not. We found those tapes. What? I burned those. We should, you know what you should do one day? Don't you have a thing that shows, do you have that thing? Did you say you had that where you can put a super eight in and watch it? No, no, I had it. Okay. For those tapes. You got rid of it? The whole thing's gone. The actual player? Buddy, I couldn't have demolished that fast enough when I realized they go, oh wait, I know she's, you know, we're like common ages now also, but these videos are not one we were. Let me ask you a question. Yes. You deleted them, but you take one last look. Deleted. No, no deleting your tapes. When you got rid of it. No. Stop being so fucking corrective and just answer the question pervert. Did you watch any of it? You had to to see what it was. Oh, no, no, no. It's only that. It was, the problem was the reason I got them at all from my moms one day in my twenties, there was my closet. Oh, that was your red tape? No, my old closet when I went, it was because unfortunately at the same time, you know what I mean? Like, like I start, I'm starting comedy. So I would put comedy on those tapes afterwards. And then some, so those tapes would be a mixed mosh of nothing was labeled. So it was like sometimes you'd see me and Kurt doing comedy at the Laugh House. And then some of them were, I guess now because they're child pornography. You should have sold them. No, you could have made a lot. No. I tell you what, people like to laugh, anti child pornography. It wasn't, it was an instantaneous in a minute flip of a switch because even in my twenties, I was like, oh, these are pretty hot because it's my girlfriend at the time. Do you know what I'm saying? And then you go, oh, wait, yes, like this isn't my girl. This is my girlfriend when we were in our fucking teens. Mine are all legal and legal age girls, but I have some Bobby, I know that. I have. Lou. No, I swear to God. I know they are. Mine are all legal. Absolutely. Those girls were born at a time that made them legal when you film them. Yeah. Well, they were grandfathered in, but I do, you know, I went through a like a directorial phase of filming. Really? And I would, I actually put like tape down like marks. Do you have to hold like that light thing in front of her pussy? And you're reflecting a lot. Makeup. Yeah. Get in here. Like age. Can we fucking, can we fly now? Can we do me a favorite? Get me the Spielberg lens. I want to get it on this. No, but I would do like. That's a flappy pussy. We're going to have to do something about that. All right. Take launch everybody. I got a brainstorm. Do we have enough in the budget for FX? No, but I would direct, I would make like little movies with these girls. I was dating weird for us. No, for me, for you and my friend. No, I never showed anybody. But why do you need? Oh, Bobby, of course you never showed anybody. I never showed. And of course you never showed anybody. I didn't. Yeah. I swear to God, I never showed anybody. Of course. No. Gary Goldman just gave yours back the other day. No, he's been looking at child pornography. You ruined all my fun. Oh, let's not forget Dane Cuckoo Bar with the shit out of those tapes. There's one I could release and it would probably be a fantastic, like maybe win an award. Why? It's with Dane Cook. No, that'd be great. If I had that. You and Dane having gay sex? What a bombshell. No, no. What a bombshell. There'd be girls in the middle. Can somebody, AI, Bobby and Dane Cook having gay sex? Don't do that. Multiple position, please. Don't do that again. Let's do, here's what I'd like if someone out there can write this down and do AI very easily. I'm going in and almost remember like the old Jason Ellis video where he goes, I want you pawing at Dane a little bit at his pecker and then he allows you to suck him off and then a hard cut into Bobby just being having his ass wailed by Dane Cook. Why the fuck do you think in our relationship I would be the bottom? It says nothing to do with talent, but he was the headliner. He was the headliner. You make a good point. He was the headliner. If we want to sell this thing, we're not going to sell it on my name. I'm going to get this thing out there. You might have to take a couple of whales in the shitter from fucking Dane Cook. We can call it tourgasm again. Yes. No, but some of them were actually, I remember watching them after I was done being like, that is a good movie. I did a good job. Because I had to edit on the fly because there's no editing machine. I had to go cut. All right, now go over here and do the film as we went. There was one with this girl. What a break of sexual energy though. What do you mean? Oh yeah. You're just sucking your dick and you go. All right, first positions. Yeah. Well, I had this girl, Rachel, that she filmed the one dude. She pretended to be my friend. She pretended to be my, she was with my friend and she was at my apartment, but I was staying over my friend's house. She was his girlfriend. She pretended to be my friend's girlfriend, Aldo Benny's girlfriend. And I was staying there for the weekend. I went into the bathroom to go to the bathroom and she came in by accident, like kind of sleepy and she was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And I was, you know, peeing and she was like, oh, I'm so sorry. And I was like, ah, no, I apologize. I, she's like, can I just grab my, I have to get my aspirin. I was like, oh yeah, let me just put that away. She's like, oh, you can finish. I had brothers and I was like, are you sure? She's like, yeah, yeah, go ahead. And she's getting her aspirins and she's slowly looking at, trying to get the aspirins and fumbling around in the medicine cabinet. But looking down at me as she's doing it, I'm like, what are you looking at? She's like, I don't know. I, I don't know. I just always wonder what it was. I mean, you're my friend's girl. She's like, he's sleeping. I know, but he's in the other room. She's like, so what? You know, you want it. And I was like, I can't do this. I'm not doing this to my friend. I thought it. Is this acting the only way you can get your gay penis up for a woman? First of all, says a man with pink striped mittens on. You bought these for me. You're the man who bought them for me. You're my bear bear. Thank you. You're my bear bear. I take care of my bear bear. I appreciate that. I like being your bear bear. You are my bear bear. No, but dude, it was such a- They have chains on them. Yeah, they have chains on your men. And some spikes. They have spikes on the knuckles and chains. I bought them for Jay at the mall, like a Dungeon and Dragons couple. Went to Hot Topic. I'm going to get some, I'm going to get some new spikes and some spike glue. Don't worry. A couple of the spikes fell off. I wonder how that happened. But yeah, dude, it was so hot and she was so hot. And then she just went down and did, oh, I videotaped the POV angle. Finally, we were able to view her as a thespian, not a woman. I think that's where I got my acting from. My early days of acting. Your early pornography days? But that- What a waste of time. That tape is in there somewhere. Yeah. You know what, me and you have a different take on the thing. You know, Metzger used to have that great joke. I was always jealous of it, almost. It was so funny. It was so true about the strip clubs. He was like, everything in a strip club is essentially for the strippers. The lighting, the thing, the fact that it's super loud music and the dancing and the pole. It's all, they go, if guys could pick a strip club, he was like, it would be harsh fluorescent lights and the girl would come out in a regular street clothes and just stand there with no music and people go, take your clothes off. And she would have to like nervously just do it. And then just stand there naked like this while everyone just looks at her and throws at me. That's what guys want. We use tokens. Like a fun swap. And it's just so true. So that's what I'm saying. The fact that you had this whole, like, you wanted to do the scenarios and stuff. I'm like, anytime I've wanted to like film sex stuff, I'm like, can you show me how far open you can hold your pussy? Like, let's just show some feats of sexual things that I'll never see. It's just different art. You know what I mean? It's different art. You know what I mean? I mean, I like- You're not acting. I'm the pussy, dude. I was into acting, scenario, directing. You weren't, let's get to it. Scene work. Yes, scene work. You were into, let's just get it down to it. Open that pussy up and show me. No, no, it's not about just getting down to it. I'm not a let's just get down to it guy. It's actually not my energy, but I'm definitely, it's going to have to be filthier than like, let's do some acting. I'll never be able to role play in my life. I love it. I love it so much. How can you commit? Buddy, I am a Thesbian through and through. And if I can get a girl that can hold a scene- But you're a comedic mind. Yeah, I know. So how do you not laugh at yourself when you're hitting your lines? Because I'm both, Jay. You can be both. I am a comic, yes, but I am a Thesbian. And let me tell you something. Nothing gets me hotter than when- Scene work. Oh, I love a scenario. Oh, one of my favorite points is when the stepson comes in and the stepmom is in the shower, but she has a broken leg and she's trying to get out, but she can't get the towel and she's kind of like, oh, fuck no. And he's like, you all right? And she's like, no, and she's kind of sad and you need help. Yeah, please. I can't get the towel. And he comes over and she's like, you know, holding it up and it falls off. She's like, I'm sorry. I, he's like, it's okay. Don't worry about it. And he helps her back in any other room and they start talking. She's like, you know, this is really bumming me out. I feel like a burden and your father, he's never home. And I know he's kind of a jerk. He is kind of a jerk, isn't he? And they start getting closer and he's like, yeah, he is kind of a jerk. And then she lets the towel drop. He's like, we shouldn't do this. And she's like, we shouldn't. I know. And then they just stop making out. Oh, I love when they make out. Why don't you role play that with Thorne? First things first, you got to break her leg. That's not a problem. That'd be an easy part. Yeah. The hard part would be just don't, when, even when she actually didn't feel or tap out. We tried role playing once and every scenario I gave her, she's like, now, now, now. So she said, I will role play. And then you said, let's do this one. She said, no. I said, yeah, we're in a massage with Paul. She goes, no. I go, why? She goes, because I work at a spa. I go, you're an esthetician. Totally different fucking spa. She's like, because I don't know how to give good massages. She got to pop the blackheads on your back. I'll jerk you off while I pop your blackheads. Yeah, she is a terrible actress. Terrible. Yeah. I like a good actress, man. Role playing. Oh, no. I had a girl in Vegas that used to do it all the time. She would get into it. She would show up with outfits. Come in, ready to go. Oh, she'd stay in character even after we were done. She'd be like, I got to get back to the hospital. I don't mind an outfit, but it's just going to be so short lived. I'm not going to sit there and do a whole. The only time I do break characters. Secretary, can you please take out a note for me? I'm in it. I'm in it. I'm in it. That's a good one. I never did that one. What do you mean that one? Secretary. Oh. I never did that. I didn't know I was giving you new ideas. You are. Maybe Don could do that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you pull your dick out and watch you suck on your dick. You look and be like, did you book my flight for the wrong fucking day? You're fucking idiot. Yeah. I got role play. I have this role play. You're going to be just pretend like you're not enjoying it and give me the driest blow job you could possibly give me. And then get hot. Have your neck get hot in the middle of it. And then go take some type of medication and have your menopause tea. I don't know if that's what was happening. She seemed to be having a good time. There was a black woman in the very front row of my Saturday late show. I believe it was in NIAC. And she kept dunking like a napkin into her water and patting her neck the entire show. I was worried that she wasn't having a good time, but she was laughing. She was having a great time. But like all of her downtime was patting her neck with like cold water. I wish I was fat. That's a great fat technique. I could have used that a lot of times on airplanes. Watering your neck. Yeah, I've had hot neck. Oh yeah, that's not going to look worse and fatter. I don't care. Fat guy's watering his neck over there. Can I move please? I used to travel with a fan that attached to my iPhone. Come on. Buddy, every time I got on a plane, I was 360. It took me 30 minutes to use my stomach to hold the seat belt. And then I was out of breath. I was hot. That fan never did anything. I would have my own fan just to cool me down because I felt bad that I was just sweating. Oh God, I turn off all the fans in my row. I turn them on. So cold. I need them. I always turn the fans on because I, but it is funny before most of the time it was just to keep me like not hot. Yeah, man. But now I put them on. Like I don't necessarily like when I get on the plane right away, I don't think my first instinct isn't just to turn them on, but I always turn them on because I'd rather get like, I'd rather, I'll sleep better if I wake up from sleep cold and turn it off and like go back to sleep. You know what I mean? Versus like waking up hot. I hate how there would be like sweat in my neck roll. You know, that little, that little thing and it would just be, you could feel it like peel away from it. And we just peel away from the other party of neck. And I was like, ugh. Would you agree, Bobby? All right, Jacob, fuck off. Jacob, Bobby, would you agree on Plain Etiquette here? Because this is something I've been encountering a lot lately. What, Jacob's face? No, no, no. Oh. When I get on the plane, if it's sunny, if there's sun blaring through the plane windows, blaring through. Yeah. And your window is open and you're not a child looking out with whimsy and wonder. You should be allowed to say something that person. You shut it. You shut it. My scary one is the not lineup of the windows and the person who's got the blaring, his window is just like part of it's here and my window is here. Nope. And then I'm like, you want to be like, you know, if I even like, I'd have a good excuse if I when I lean back, if I lean back a little bit to just be like, oh, this is right in my fucking face. I shut that too. If I have. You shut it and don't say a word. If I have an inch of that, if my chair reclines and I have some of that window in my thing, I shut it. You don't even ask. I shut it. You don't look back. You don't say. Do you mind? It's I own some of that window. I agree. Yeah. And I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll draft fucking people. I'll I'll get the flight attendant like, hey, can you shut that window? It's like, right. It's killing me. It's right in my eye. Yeah. And they'll go over and really. They'll shut it. Oh man. Yeah. I'll rat somebody out in a second. I'm not enough of a Karen. Yeah. The last two times I was on a flight, the one that was a two adult, they refused to close the window and they're taking pictures of the the sky while we're flying. And the sun is blasting in my eye. And then the one across the second, the one across from me is so I've got it from both sides. Look at it. If you if you're taking a couple photos of a good. No, the whole flight. That's that's crazy. I would I would if you're taking a couple photos, I let you take your photos. That's fine. I get that. I've always I've seen when you're in the plane and you look out and the sun's hitting the cloud, like, oh my God, it's magical. I've done that. Okay. Stupid shit. I haven't. I'm talking the whole flight. But you have you wear pink gloves. So everybody has their own thing. We all find our own whimsy. I, uh, yeah, I would let him take it. But shut it. Shut it. Rat him out. No, no, no, she was mesmerized the entire flight. What was she? Was that a woman in her 40s? Are you sure she wasn't retarded? No. Okay. You're not sure? No, she was not retarded. You asked her. No, she might have just been like, she might have been trapped on an island for 10 years and they just got her back and now she's in a plane. Like I'm going home. Always ask somebody if they're a retard. If they freak out, they're not. Yeah, I didn't. But maybe you're retarded. If they're retarded, they usually go, yes. Yeah. But I mean, the opposite side, the opposite aisle to I got nailed. They would not shut the window. They're both like fascinated. Yeah. Rat them out. Rat them out. The flight attendant will walk over and go, hey, we got to shut those. They'll shut them for you because they get it. The flight attendants are on your side. Are they? Yes. I don't always feel that's the case. Yes, they are. Depends. If you say, hey, that thing's killing me. I got to, I'm trying to sleep and it's just, it's so hot. They'll just be like, I'll take care of it. They'll, hey, can you shut that please? Best way to get the stewardess on your side. Twenty bucks. The side with they can't take it. Starbucks cuts. It's the. They can take money. I've tipped stewardess. Flight attendants. I've been told several times they're not allowed at all. You can. A big deal. You're getting trouble for that. Really? No, I've done it. I said, go get yourself a Starbucks. Thank you so much. Um, what an old man. Get yourself some nice kid. Hey, how you doing? Um, the flight attendants, it's good. You can get them on your side. If you back that, what's the best thing in the world when I'm in the line on the jet bridge, when I see somebody like a few people ahead of you being a jerk off already, like he's complaining about what ever and he's going to win. When is that guy going? You're like, nice. Because, and I hope it's near enough to me where whatever he lays on her right away, when I get to go behind, I'm like, it's like, it's like, I got it. It's like, it's a little early in the morning for that. Don't you think? I go, I'm in two way. Can I hang my jacket? And they're like, yeah, of course. Yeah. And then you get them on your side for sure. But I don't know. I hate the confrontation of any of that shit. And, and, but lately, I feel like for whatever reason, someone has been, I've woken up and been like, is my shirt on fire? And you're like, nope. I'm being like, what do you call that when they use the magnifying glass of like, it's like, it's like a steam coming out of like a dot on my shirt. Well, it is. You're very, you're closer to the sun than you can be on earth. You're literally right up in the window. It's just like focusing it in a beam under my chest. Like, I'm like, why am I so hot right here? And you're like, Oh God, my shirt's a different color over here. It's the worst. It's the worst. But you know, the plane in the morning, having the window open and that sun when you hit the when you go up above the clouds and that sun is just beaming through on your face and everybody else has their window shut. And that one selfish dickhead. The worst is, look, I don't when they're looking out, taking photos and wonder meant I kind of OK with that when they're just reading and they're just doing their thing. Put the light on you fucking schmutz. You she read by the window light after she took the pictures. She read the entire flight. Supposed to be booked in catch on fire. She wanted natural light. You got to just tell them, look, look, you just lie. Just like, look, I got a cataract in this eye and that's affecting me. And they go cataracts means suns make you feel better than whatever the other thing is. Yeah, I got I got a maculip pucker. Look that up, bitch. Yeah, now look that up. We'll just close the window. Please. I am also very I'm thoughtful on plane. For the most part, always I really try to like I'm window and I go against the window as much as possible. I give the person all the room they could handle. I'm not a big armrest guy, even on that side. I've never really been in a jockeying for position outside of the guy. I just had the thing with last time. It depends on how you put your bags down. If I always get window, so if you come in and you slamming your bags down and jamming your bag and you have that manic energy, I fucking hate you. And I will let you know I hate you. I won't even look at you and I will fucking jam my arm right there. But if you come in, you're like, hey, how are you? I'm whatever you want. You can have it. And I said, I'm thought I rarely, if ever, recline in a regular sit up seat, rarely ever. And then also the same thing when I when I have the window closed, you know, sometimes like turbulence happens and I want to kind of look out for a second, whatever reason, whatever my nerves are, or just like my ears are popping and I wake up and I'm like, are we landing? I want to look real quick to see if we're coming down. I do this. I literally go. Sips it. Yeah. I do it purposefully to go like, sorry, if anyone of that bothered. I care. I don't like when other people don't care. I care. But if you see my fucking, I had a guy. You see my fucking headphones melting in the sunlight. You know that you know that little will you that you come in this in the first class? We're talking first class, Jacob. Hang on one second. You know, the whole of the world in first class. We'll grab us something. You would you? Yeah, real quick, but something low cal. I'm on a diet. Where to put the waters. You have two waters usually. You got to kind of I'm always in the windows. We got to skim by. I'm trying not to knock them over with my stomach, which is embarrassing. You got to go. You have to go tummy towards seats. Tummy towards seats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I sit down. This guy comes in manic, right? Bag up. You know, he's moving other people's bags to fit his shit, which bugs me. Just put it on the other side. Fuck you. Don't touch my shit. Whoa. The thing I got in on the plane, though, when I got into with the guy on a plane, he stood up to get some shit in my face about turning his bag to see if my bag could fit and then putting his bag back where it was, like turning. I didn't even move it. I just turned it this way and then I was like, both bags are gonna fit. And I turned this way. He stood up. He goes, let me help you with that. And I was like, I didn't know it was his stuff. He I go, what? He goes, you're throwing my bag around. I go, who's throwing your fucking bag? I didn't tell you this. No, no. I definitely don't know it's ganks, but the guy was like, that's good. Yeah. He got in my he got in my face. Not in my he wasn't even he just like stood up and like right here. And he's like, and he's doing like a smile over smiling thing. He's like, you start. I go, no, I was throwing your bag around, dude. I was seeing a fit. And then I. I said, so then I just fucking moved. I just flipped it back the way he didn't have it and put mine in there anyway. And I know it's not going to close. So my mind, I'm just going when she comes over and asks, I go, you're moving your stuff now, dude. I guess what's going to happen. And it's exactly what happened. She came over, she goes, these both aren't going to fit. And then I didn't even ask that she goes, who's suitcase is this? He has suitcase and a bag. And she goes, who's he's like mine? She's I'm going to put this, I'm going to check this. So you just get it. And he kind of stands up for that. And then I was kind of like smiling at him. And then he's doing well by doing like, have fun with this guy. I go, I will. And then we sat down and the entire flight I sat next to him. I aimed towards him diagonal and I was this and I had my leg on his lap. No, sir. On my life. No. On his lap. Why on his lap? Because fuck him, dude. You put your fucking leg on somebody. My foot on his knee. You're fucking. I'll tell you what, your leg doesn't fall asleep if something's propping it up that well. I was able to do it almost the entire flight. Well, I don't understand. If you put your fucking foot on me, I would fight you. Right. What did he do? Accepted it and act like he was sleeping. Oh my God. You bitched him out that bad. And then he would like move and I just like put it back like he would move because he was actually he was asleep. So he's like, we're going to put it back on. And then I went to sleep and I'd wake up and he would just be like on his phone over my foot. I fuck it would. I would have fucking untied. I would have tied your shoes together. I hate that. If you touch me on a plane, this I hate when I was saying before the guy that little middle space with the two waters are. So we get our meal. You get a meal in first class, Jacob. We get a meal. Do you? I sleep. I always I know I love the meal. You don't even take the meal that you get. Yeah, that's that's crazy. I say give it to a bomb back and I say give it to a bombing economy. So go bless somebody in economy. So she comes over with. So I had my water off that thing at that point. I drank. I drank my water. And all of a sudden he gets his meal first and he gets his drink and he has his water. He puts he takes over that whole space with drinks. The whole space. Now, that space is for my cup. So my tray comes with my cranberry juice. I get it on ice. It comes in a glass cup, which is crazy. And you're that you see I yet not yet. But my giz tastes fantastic. Heart heart. So I put it down and I get my meal and then I have I'm holding my cup and I literally tapped his water. I went move that. He goes, what? I go move that. I got to put my cup down and he was like, oh, OK. Like he didn't know you knew that that was my fucking spot you bought. And then I just left my cup there the whole fucking flight. So you can't use it at all. Piece of shit. I hate that. And I hate when women come in with these stupid big bags. Now, I'm a bag whore. I know I should have some type of, I don't know, allegiance to these people. And they come in and they put it not under their seat. In the middle, the middle space is shared space. That's where my foot goes. That's where your foot goes. Your bag goes in front of your seat. My bag goes in front of my seat. The middle space is clean. A lot of people will take their stupid bag because they want their feet clean and stick it in the middle. Fuck you know what I do? I put my fucking dirty foot right on that bag. Oh, yeah. Oh, some lady was like, you know, that's a fendi or some shit. I was like, yeah, I don't give a shit. You put it on the floor. It's a floor bag now, bitch. Fucking asshole. Now it's my foot rest. And it's fake. I know I'm a bad whore. I hated that because I've never had. Confrontation ever on a plane ever. That was the first time. But I said it was a way he just got up to it. And we just like, let me help you with that right there. It's passive. It was such a cunty. No, it wasn't passive aggressive. I don't like when people touch my bag, either, though. I got it. I got it. But you can't stuff. There's three seats in that row. You've stuffed the entire rows things with yours. So there's tiny things. If I did that, I'd be a dick and whatever you did. I did. I always I put one bag up, one bag down. But there's people that come in and start, you know, you're not fitting your bag in there, dude. And you're starting to grab the way they grab it and start smashing stuff. It's like, dude, I got my computer in there. I got a lot of tech in there. You piece of shit. I what do you do? I hate that when they do that. I got no fight. I got one altercation on a plane. I was on a plane. I was in Comfort Plus. That's a that's like not first class Jacob, but it's nice. You get more leg. It's like, I think the piece of shit. But you probably think they're like doing all right. Yeah, I look at Comfort Plus is just extra leg room. It's a little more leg room. Actually, but stop, stop, stop, stop. You get snacks, the snack basket that the people. You don't get that. Oh, that I didn't. Free snack basket, free snack basket. And you get, you know, free drinks and all that stuff, too. You get the board to plane. Second, not, you know, it's not fourth or fifth. Oh, movies, movies might be free, too. Movies are free. All movies are free. The best text I ever got, I believe, is when we went to Las Vegas. And Bobby and I were on the same flight. And he said, he looked, you know, he was sitting in first class and I had to pass him on the way to the cattle section. And about an hour and a half later, I got a text for them. And it was the photo of the full spread of food, the buffet that they served. Cloth placemats. Yes, it looks so elegant. Cloth placemats. Now does that you ever see when you go to the other one, they just have a piece of paper that sort of fits the shape of your tray. Whatever with that. It looked fantastic. Metals fork knife. Also overwear for sure. Oh, so good. But this guy, it's when the TVs first came on Delta, the nice ones, we touch the screen. So I got on my seat and I was I was just tapping, not tapping like hard, tapping the screen, like, you know, going to find a movie and kind of fascinated that this was on. I knew JetBlue had it, but it was that little one. But this was a nice and the guy in front of me, I think he was like fucking German. It was, you know, blonde, had European guy. He stood up. He went, he goes, stop fucking tapping the screen. You fucking you banging my head. I swear to God, we don't have a fucking problem if you keep tapping the fucking back of my seat like that. And I the rage from all everything in my life filled my chest. And I just paused and I let it build like a volcano. And I stuck my seat through his the chair and I went, I will fucking murder you on this fucking plane right now. You fucking make a move. You piece of shit. And I said some words I can't say on the radio. And I was like, I'll fucking do it right now. You understand me? Shut the fuck up and don't let me see your face again. And then that was it for the flight. But he got me to be getting at the flight. He but out of nowhere, like it wasn't like I was doing it right at the beginning of the flight. I just tapped a few times. If you were to fuck over it off. So I'm saying flying sucks across board. So just not in first class. It's doesn't it sucks less than what you suck less. Yeah. But it's just like just get on the fucking plane. Do your thing. Go to Zik. Why is everything? Why are you shoveling eight pieces of luggage up in the fucking overhead? Just do the thing. How about the person that guy knows how to fly? That guy knew what he was doing. Like it wasn't a guy. It wasn't a place of business to how about the person that comes on and they're in the back, but they put their luggage in first or in in comfort plus. That's funny, which fucking infuriates me. And it's usually going to LA. It's happened a couple of times. Some fucking LA bitch. And it happened to me going to LA on the with the five seats, the two seats, five or the three seats, two seats, one of those big planes that they don't use anymore for some reason after COVID. And she put her bag up over my fucking place. And I was just like, what the fuck? You can't do that. That's against the rules. And the stewardess flight attendant caught her. She goes, ma'am, ma'am, where are you sitting? She was like, oh, I'm sitting. What row? She had to say 30 something. And she went, yeah, bring your bag back there. I know, 30. It made me so happy. I just was laughing. I was chuckling in her face. I was like, she had to take her bag down and go back to 30 something. I will from now on, though, if someone, if it was a tiny one of the little tiny planes and someone has a suitcase up in the top, I'm just going to take the suitcase down and just present it to the flight attendant like dads can't be up here. And then we'll see what happens. And I promise you, I will do that unless asterisks. That person is black or Latino. What about what about they then? They, them, I can't wait to get into that. I can't. Well, I want to mix up that one right there. I go, I know you have to pack for two full genders for a weekend. But maybe check it. Check it at the gate. What about what about people with big dogs? Well, I had a dog about dog in size. What's wrong with that, man? Well, I think it sucks. Again, there was a lady who was next to me with a dog, not keeping a very good eye on this dog as far as what it was doing. But the dog kept doing it. It was like almost laying across my feet at points. And if it makes sense, like I like dogs, especially now as a dog owner, I was like, I'm fine with it. Does that make sense? Like the dog was adorable. I was like, but there is something where you're like, lady, this is actually it's fucking crazy. You're just letting this happen. It's like, you're not acknowledging it at all. This dog is actually becoming a product. The flight attendants were kind of like, miss, he's got to stay like in the thing, like we're coming down the aisle. And she's like, oh God, yeah, sorry. And she's like, these people with the dogs, like, no, lady, you're a terrible dog owner. But his dog is adorable. This is laying, it's basically laying on my feet. So I'm like, well, I'm not going to fuck. What am I going to do? Get your fucking dog. It was adorable. The, uh, the flight back from Skankfest, Josh was on my flight. And it was just one of the most annoying flights I've ever been on. Just he talked. He's coked out the whole. Well, what do you know? He didn't know he was going down there. And that's why I'm a skankfest is a thing. You know, if it's not for me, I mean, I do my thing at the end. It kind of, I stood up in the middle of the flight and I went, Josh, he went, yeah, shut the fuck up. I was like, I'm still coming down until like it is shut the fuck up. Now, I don't mind that. I don't even mind kids. Like I used to hate kids, but now having a kid and flying with the baby. And I feel, I feel it only makes you feel bad. When I hear baby freaking, I think here's at the end of the day, you can put your fucking head for every headphone they make now. If you bought a pair of headphones to store, cancel out. That's right. You'll be fine. So crying baby, all I do is feel bad for them. I'm like, I'm like, that's what it is. Like, do you think they want that? You think they want to see when they want everybody to play mad at their child, their baby pressure, the pressure you have as a parent when your kids starts crying on a plane is fucking unbearable. Because you know, everybody hates you and there's nothing you can do. Not even you. They sort of also hate your baby. So you're kind of angry at everyone for hating you and still knowing you're the ass. So there's just nothing good about it. And you have to stick up for your kid too, because there's always that guy who that old guy will turn around and say something. Like you lonely old fuck, your kids don't even talk to you. Yeah, yeah. I do put those noise cancelling on. But the worst one I ever saw and I felt bad for the guy. You just go back and forth to Florida. So everybody on your flight fucking on the door of death. It takes three hours to board your plane. Oh my God. Yeah. When you get off your plane, Jacob, I know it's always I'll do it this weekend going down the Fort Lauderdale this weekend. When I land, it's the best when you land on the plane is where you really see it. Is like when you get into the jet bridge, there's 17 fucking wheelchairs lined up. The whole fucking thing. Yeah. Well, the one one guy had a three year old. So he's, you know, quite grown and he was throwing a temper tantrum for three hours straight to the fact that if he had to like vice grip him because the kid was was trying to squirm for three hours to get out and flying. Flying for I still feel empathy for flying for a kid is just the worst. Their ears hurt. They don't understand it. They they sitting down in one spot for fucking they don't have to blow their now like like pop their ears. Yeah, we have to just take that. It hurts the whole way. Yeah, we still have to put stuff in Max's ears. These little plugs when the door shuts, we have to put him in because he would he would freak out of the airplanes. Yeah. We used to. I took him to a room when he was one and it was a fucking nightmare. Don't forget the carriage, the luggage, the thing of bay, all the van der Sluts murders. You do everything Aruba has the scuba the equalizing. Trick on the plane. No. Yeah. Fritz like a scuba diver. Yeah, he is it. Yeah. When you go down as a scuba diver, every few feet, you have to pinch your nose and then blow. If you turn your head to your left or else you'll be in. Oh, you're saying that's the trick. Yeah. Yeah. Popping your ears. Yeah, I do that. So you do that on the 30,000 times every flight of mine. Yeah. It never stops happening. Yeah. I'm saying a baby can't you can't have a baby doesn't know how to do that. So that's why they do that. Even a three year old doesn't know how to do that. They don't get it. I do feel bad for I told you one lady gave me her kid for like like 30 minutes. Strange. She we're in first class and she had she was I don't know what she like. She didn't molest him. Teach her a lesson. She was like from Sweden or some Iceland or one of those Nordic places. She's this big blonde woman and her kid was a fucking maniac. The whole flight. And I'm laughing. It doesn't bother me at all because I have you know, I've been there. And she's like, I'm sorry. I you know, whatever accent. Well, I'm sorry. He's just doesn't fly. And I was like, it's fine. I get I have a kid. Don't worry about it. And at one point she goes, would you mind watching him while I go to the bathroom? I was like, yeah, sure. She's took a nap in the bathroom. She went and got fucking shit face in the bathroom. She faced came back fucked up. She's trashed. I love that. I was laughing my ass off. Great. I'm just watching this little. OK, prepare to handle bullshit now. I was watching this towhead for a half hour. He was good with me. He didn't even fucking move. So you just sit there watching TV. But she was doing God. But I'm sitting like she left for a half hour. I'm like, crazy. Should I say something like what if this bitch is dead? Take my baby. He's yours now until I return. Yeah, planes in first class, though, it is nice. So nice. I think I had was in first class. I want to fly. I want to fly the the bed. I want to go to like Dubai in the wind. Because when you show up, you know, they treat their women. Yeah, the way we should treat women. You mean the good old days in America? Yeah. You know, awesomely, they treat their women before before 1910. You know, every time someone says that about a place, they go, do you know, they treat their women? I go, yeah, but look how they treat their men. Looks great for me. It's not for boys. I can't imagine having a problem in first class. Look, you're you're angry that you're and you're with all the stuff you can do in first class, the room. Christine brought the best first class cut to something. This is fantastic. Whatever this costs is overkill. That's not worth it. I would do it over anything else if I could afford it, I guess. Well, look, if it's if it's a flight to Dubai or like to Australia, if it's like Australia, yeah, a long flight, Japan, that type of shit is great. But to San Francisco, it's stupid. Well, it's from Dubai. From Dubai. Yeah, from Dubai, dude. And the one to Dubai, you actually, when you show up at the lounge, you get your own room. Yeah. So you get a date when you when you go to the lounge, they take you to your own room with food, dinner, shower, bathroom, TV. And then they come and get you and bring you to your suite on the plane. Or you could take a shower and stuff. Yeah, you can take a shower on the plane. But the actual sitting area is still a coffin tomb. This is not the one. The one the best one is it's an actual suite. It's a bed. It's a bed. No, this is a bedroom. You have a separate bedroom. There's one that has a separate cost. This is 15 grand. Yeah. People do with my. Like you strap yourself in a bed. You have like a you have a lounge that you sit in. We watch TV and then you go into your bedroom with a bed with a bed in it to sleep. That'd be great for for sure. That would be unbelievable on Dubai, a flight to Australia. You know, I missed the flight. I did Australia and I did South Africa. South Africa's middle flights, 26 out of middle seats. I missed the old planes where they had the upstairs. My heaviest also. Remember the remember the upstairs and they had the bar like in wedding singer. Yeah, double decker. That'd be great. I was I've never been on one of those planes. Is this when you're thinking of? Yeah, that's it. You have your own separate bedroom. And your own shower. I mean, that's come on. No, it looks the best way to do it. Twenty dollars dollars. Come on. But if we were you're never going to. Someone's paying that. Yeah, get you there. I would never pay out of my pocket to do it. Look at that. That's how many Royals. You got to bring you have to bring a girl, though. You have to fuck something. You have to have sex on that. You can't just go do that by yourself. But then they kill her when they land. Yeah, they're probably killer for being a whore. For being a harlot whore. Defiling the. Yeah. No, you don't have to. Here's what you do. Here's what you really balls out. You want to fucking get a zillion views on something. Make a girl do a come walk out of your Emirates fucking thing. Make her do a come on. You blast a lot on her face and tell her to go ask for something from this. From the flight attendants. Do you guys have a tissue for this load? I'm going to go walk through all those Arabs out there real quick and go to the bathroom. Hey, boys, your eyes don't deceive you. That's load on my face. American freedom load. I thought when you said they kill her, I thought they they give you a girl in that first and then they kill her at the end of the flight. Maybe I thought that's what you meant. Oh, that's what you meant. OK, that's what I thought. That'd be great if you got a chick. If they gave you your own flight attendant, but you could she would service you. I love your willingness to have sex with a slave, dude. That is awesome. She's not a slave. She's getting paid. You love prostitution. I used to. I have a lot of people that say that. I used to know a lot of people that prefer. I think Josh brings it up a bunch, too, just like being like, yeah, like paying for him, I don't know. I don't know why like their disinterest in it bothers me. It's well, call me crazy. I mean, prostitution was fun when you were younger and it was easy, you know, you just go do something and then you leave. You don't have to fucking take him to the French roast for a fucking steak and frets and listen to their hopes and dreams. Sure. But I mean, like, yeah, but it's also like it's such a scuzz world and business, too. Exactly. That is all I would ever think about with the prostitute right now would be doing it one for money exclusively, too. She's done this other times today. Yeah. And is going to do it more later. Just kind of, yeah. That's the hot part. Yeah. That's what gets you off. You different strokes of different folks. It's yeah. But nowadays it's better for girls because they don't need pimps. You know, the back of the day, they used to have a year to have. They still do. Well, you had to be on the streets. Nobody had like a, you know, there was street walkers. There's no more street walkers anymore because they just go on the internet. Yeah. And you call them up and you come to the apartment. They might have a guy. Still dangerous as shit. Well, you should have a guy bring you for one still. And even if you don't, then it is very, very dangerous again still. So it's not really a, no, it's not figured out. And I said, I don't even think it should be illegal, but I don't know many together prostitutes where they're like, yeah, I did it for a while. And now, you know, I'm told I was able to get my architectural license. Fuck yeah. Look, it never happens. I bet there's been a couple. A couple. This has been a couple. That's not why. Not the prostitutes is a pretty tough. I'm sure it exists. I bet there's a couple of buildings in New York that were done by a prostitute. Some prostitute. Yeah. The girl, when I drove strippers, I always tell the story of the one, the worst stripper, because she just didn't do anything. I mean, there was girls for that company that would fuck for money. She did almost nothing. You could barely touch her at all. And she was a bachelor party delivery bachelor party stripper. Oh, really? Which they don't talk over the phone about what's going to happen. So most guys are like, yeah, we're getting a hooker, basically. Yeah. And then when it's just a stripper, I have some explaining to do. I never liked that. And she was that. And she was that she was not a like a whorey chick at all. And I remember I'd like, you know, hang with her because I was driving her and pick her up and stuff like that. And she was genuinely putting herself through hell. No, no. University of Pennsylvania Medical School to become a doctor. Did she become a doctor? I don't know. You know her name. Let's look her up. I don't remember her name at all. Yeah. Candy with an eye with a heart over it. Dr. Candy. See if that's a thing. Go in, go in and see it. Play some with a boombox and play some music. I never I never liked the bachelor party hooker thing when they would get a bunch of hookers and then a bunch of guys. I hate that that energy that guys get that a lot of flies energy. Yeah, I hate that. It fucking freaks me out. I don't like it with the. What's this? Okay, don't stick it in. I hate it. It makes me I mean, one on one prostitution. I'm fine with beautiful thing. No, it's that is the accused is a scene in the accused. It's like worse. How many people get behind the mob mentality of raping a defenseless woman? Like really the whole room came together on that. Yeah, the odds that everybody in that room was like, oh, dude, I'm away for some of the ice on a good rape and at this joint. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we go. Who's going to go next? Like now what's your call? It's going next. Oh, nice, dude. What's up? What's up? I'm next. Don't forget the other half of the bar that was just continuing with their drinks. Like nothing was right. Other people at the bar were just kind of like, dude, that's over there in the rape room. That's why I still. I stay over here in old man drinking corner. It was like Christine's comedy. Yeah. It felt like you're getting raped. There's two sides to the bar. You said it was happening to your pussy instead of your ears. Except your pussy is being fucked instead of your ears. Yeah, those those bachelor parties are fucking fucking just the sky. I've been to a couple of minutes. I was just like, this is gross. I went to one. So funny. I really don't remember. But I went with a girl, a bachelor party. I was a bachelor party for I didn't know anybody there. So I was a friend of a friend at that, which is already something to go to. But it was one of those kind where there's like hookers everywhere and they have a hall and I went in the bathroom with the hooker. And I don't think we hooked up. And I talked to her in like the bathroom for a while. So I heard people outside the door banging on the bathroom door. You know, she'd be like, shut the fuck up. And we would like smoke weed or whatever. And then and then at one point, just hear people outside the door going, she's never that fucking who's that fucking guy? Well, we should get out of here. They're about to turn on me hard. There's a big bummer, the fat guy wants to smoke butts and say. Just talking to her. I don't think we hooked up. We may have a bunch of fucking stock exchange guys want to blowjob. Really have to go home with their wife. No, no, Chub tits is fucking it up. No, it takes after what I fucked up. I do remember what happened. I do remember what happened. I was going to I was talking a lot. She was talking to she was having fun talking and smoking, obviously, my weed and shit. And she was maybe butts. Who knows? Hey, do you like you like Twinkies? I have a couple. I got a couple. No, I think I told her. I think I told her that I worked in this thing before who cares. She couldn't give a shit. And I think I'm yapping to her and I'm almost giving her the like the these people don't realize that you're like a real person, like I understand that. So it's like, I'll kick it away. You just treat like a normal person. And then I swear to you by the end of it, she had also as people are knocking, she's like, do you want me to like suck your dick or something? Like for money basically for my house. Kind of like, oh, oh, I thought we were hitting it off. I think we're falling in love with me, the human being. My fun love with that stripper in a toilet. So you always make fun of Lewis for thinking the strippers like him. No, no, no, no, Lewis fucks would fuck her and then be like, she was super into that. And in the fucking me, I didn't do that. I tried to chatter up in a way where I'm like, I'm going to get beyond the she's fucking everybody for money. This chick's going to be like, well, let's hang out another time. Maybe you're sitting, you know, who knows, whatever the fucking thing is. You're super excited to take the hooker on a date. Yeah, but it always has to be in the afternoon. I work. We go to dinner, but it has to be a three. It has to be three o'clock. I have a gang bang at seven. I'm getting sucked fucked by a bunch of Japanese businessmen at ten. You guys, the hooker thinks I'm super cool. Yeah, what a fucking hooker's friend. It sounds like a romance comedy. You should know the hookers. Yeah, I take away. It goes, you need to get away from all this. And she's like, dude, I'm going to time crunch. I have 50s dicks to suck. Do you want your dick sucked? Oh, I guess my speech didn't change anything. Huh? Yeah. Well, I let you know you could be whatever you want. You don't have to be a fucking bathroom prostitute at a bachelor party for a guy. I don't know. Hey, dude, I got to make 1200 tonight to pay rent. Want to fucking speed this chat up? Hey, I'll talk to you, but you got to pay me for that then, because I got work to do. I'll go fucking taking up the ask for cash or I'll talk to you. Either way, though, I need the money. I'm on the Epstein list, so. No, I can use that show. Yeah, these are the files, at least. He's in the files. You know that, Jacob, correct? Yeah. Twice. Oh, twice. Two times now. I found out only once. I thought once. You saw the first one where the guy wants to go to David Tell's comedy underground and he's asking Jeffrey Epstein to go with him and it has the lineups and I'm on both lineups. Yeah. Well, guess what? That guy really wanted to go because he sent a separate one another day asking him if maybe tonight he wants to go to the David Tell's comedy underground because Gilbert Godfrey is going to be there. And that night I will be there with Kurt Metzger. So now Kurt's also implicated as well as me, Lewis. Nothing goes better. Lisa Traeger. Lisa Traeger was on the island with us. Nothing goes better with child pornography and comedy. Two things that go together well. Oh, yeah. Now, what do you do first? Do you have sex with the kids first and then see the comedy as a palette cleanser? Or do you go to the comedy to get riled up for the comedy? And you have a nightcap. Want to come up for a nightcap? And by that I mean 12 year old pussy. He goes, do you have any pussy upstairs? He goes, yes. He goes, age 12 years. You have any pussy upstairs? 1985. Yeah. You have to decant it. Yeah. I got a 1985 Italian. That's pretty wild, though, man, that you were going to send this other. There's a 10 30 after your dinner with Woody. Woody Allen. God, Woody Allen is fucking pedophiles. Oh, it's definitely allegedly. Oh, he married his fucking daughter. Of course, he's involved in this. How did that guy get away? Really, my kid. How did he get away with fucking marrying his daughter? He did great films that people love. I mean, is that it? I'll be honest with you. Am I not talented enough to fuck kids? This films I like. Listen, Oliver Stone should be able to fuck a kid. Scorsese, maybe should be if we're going by directors who should be able to fuck kids. Quentin Tarantino. Quentin. As many kids as he wants. What's his name? The guy that got sent out of the country? Polansky. Polansky. That guy shouldn't be allowed to fuck kids at all. Really? Stupid, but you go nowhere, horseshit. Never got into. You love Polansky. I don't love him. Oscar after he thought of my child, right? He made a couple good movies. Oh, here we go. Which ones were? Bobby loves Polansky. I don't love. He's just talking about film and art again. I'm not going to talk about film and art. Here we go. You don't understand what's going on. It's the problem. Well, I understand that you were fucking at an island fucking kids. So? Who was Roman Polansky who quit Tarantino? I wasn't. I really was bummed out that I'm not in it. I know. I would feel it's safe. If Lewis was on it, I wasn't. I'd be like, fuck. Yeah. You never know. I mean, you definitely did call me underground. It seems like you wanted to see it. I did. I did. I just didn't do it as much, I guess. I guess he wasn't. I guess he wasn't interested in your show. I'm sending you the other one. Was Polansky the person Tarantino was talking about when he was like, those 13-year-olds are party girls. They love it. No, they were mentioning him being with a 13-year-old girl. But no, he's talking about Weinstein. He's talking about Weinstein. Weinstein's a piece of shit. He goes, well, you got to see these parties, 13-year-old party girls out in LA. Shut up, Quinton. Yeah, stop talking. Yeah, he's a fucking idiot. Sure. Did you get it? This is the other one? Um, you even know you texted it to me? I texted it to you. It's just a picture. It's funny that you're in the- Twice. Name twice. You get a shirt that says I was in the Epstein files. I got to. You have to. Circle my name twice. Three times I'm listed. Three times? Well, two different pieces of paper. My name's three times mentioned. Did they ever go? I don't know. I'd like to think, yeah. I said, someone said, like, are you worried about this at all? And I was like, worried about it. I wish that the thing said, you want to go- Jeff, you want to go see this thing? Big J's performing tonight. We love him. He's got that one joke about pedophiles. This is like- He gets us. He understands. So funny. But yeah, this guy really wanted to take Jeffrey to see David Tell's show. I mean, respect takes the greatest. Listen, the guy had- It's a good taste of comedy and a good taste of cozy. Guy had a good taste all around, dude. I bet he went to his house and he should be like, this is nice. OK, so- So yeah, second time now. Monroe. Monroe. Feinstein, of course. Bargatsy? Oh, my Lord. Put that out there. I see Award winner Bargatsy. Oh, let's take him down. Grammy Award winner Nate Bargatsy. Let's take him down right now. Wow, wow. Lisa Traeger. OK, Miss fucking Miss High and Mighty. I guess you're trying to make up for all those children you had sex with on Pedophile Island. I know I wasn't invited, so somebody must have won it. I'm going to the top where the email is. This is, it came through really blurry. God damn it. Let me just go up to the top. So bummed out I'm not in this. It says- You can't believe Lisa Traeger's in this and I'm not. It says, happy birthday. Comedy plus birthday. And then it says like fun or something like that. And then it says, Gilbert's on this line up too. The real Gottfried. Is this from the comedy seller? No, no, he shows- It is from the comedy seller. It's from the comedy seller. Oh, no, no, no. Calm down. I'm sorry. The email list. Let's add some tension to this, Jay. He's forwarding the email list. He's forwarding the email. All right, OK. I want to take down gnome. But if anybody has too much. That's easy enough. Oh, man, live show today. I know it's a ten minute time live show that you're going to tell me about when you ate shit. Oh, yeah. You're going to have to tell me. We only have a few minutes left, I think, now, right? Jesus Christ. Yeah. Wow. So, so, OK, so this, that it says from comedy. So that was just the email from the. He forwarded. No, he got the advertisement for the show. Right. And then he sends it to Jeffrey Epstein saying, like, hey, let's go to this. Twice. Right. And I just happen to be on all the shows. Right. So. Well, you know. But he didn't really care about seeing me, I guess. Yeah, Jay, Jay, don't think that. They were probably going to see you. I never got to invite anything. I said, though, I'd have been there. I'd have been on the island. I just been the one with the questions. I want to, I tell you, you couldn't talk me into fucking a child. But I said, I'd be the guy going like that sushi was the best I've ever had. Now, is it is it is like tradition down here to eat it off of a naked 14 year old girl? Because I didn't know if that's like a thing. I don't want to make it. I don't want to make her uncomfortable. She's gonna be doing a job. Jay would be boring the 14 year olds with conversation. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Hey, you guys want to see when I was on premium blend? You guys know what connect for is? I did a voice for a cartoon before. You want to hear the voice in the cartoon? You guys hear a Z rock? I'm in hustlers for a second. I met J. Lo. Want to smell my dick? How long? Oh, no, don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know you've had a lot. You've had a lot of sex today. No, no, I'm just trying to talk to you. No, I just want to talk to you. How are you up in the bathroom? Oh, come on. I understand her. There's a line out here. Sweetheart. Yeah, I used to work in the prostitution business myself. I understand how it goes. That's what I would do. I would talk to the kids for a while in a circle. And I've been like, hey, man, we're trying to fuck these kids. I'm like, I'm talking to a man. Anyway, dreams, you can accomplish your dreams. I wanted to be a comedian. Look at me. Look at your uncle Jay. Jay would have story time. And that's the monster at the end of the book. And that's the monster at the end of the book. I'm the monster at the end of this book. OK, you sexy bitches. Go to sleep. Let me kiss you one over. Oh, pussy hair check. Bald. What? Bald. Oh, no. Bald? No. Oh, oh, Misty. I see a little bit of hair here. OK, if you want to have breakfast tomorrow, we'll fix that in the morning, yeah? OK, I'm still going to give you one of these. OK, OK. You're the tickly one, aren't you? OK, guys, come on. You got a big day of getting butt fucked tomorrow by businessmen and politicians. What? Is that backtalk young lady? OK, that's what I thought. OK, we're just playing around. All right then. Does somebody want a consequence? Almost got serious. Does somebody want to go into the scary closet? Oh, that's what I thought. OK, would somebody like to have sex with kings and queens? No more? There you are. This is so disturbing. You love it. There you are, little girl having sex with adults. Yeah, yeah. Whoever drains the most balls tomorrow gets chocolate milk. That's where Jay got his tummy time from. When he was on Epstein Island? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just lay there so no one could ever get to my dick. Because I know these children are going to be so hot for my cock. Guess what, guys? Hey, guys, I got some bad news. We're not going to be having sex with a bunch of politicians today. I know, I know. But there's some good news. We're all having sex with Uncle Jay. Yeah! Uncle Jay, Uncle Jay, Uncle Jay. Oh, you kids are crazy. Anyway, I'll see you after snack.