What Students Need with Dr. Fred Fuentes

Hi, this is Dr. O'Shaughnessy. Hi, this is Dr. O'Shaughnessy Aliro with another episode of the Way to College podcast. And a few years ago, oh gosh, I don't know what year this was. And my guest, my guest could confirm or maybe refute, but let's see. This must have been, I think, 2023, although I think I may have met him before that, but it was at the Taché conference. So, that's just the Texas Association of Chicanos and Higher Ed. And it's a wonderful community and I regret, I haven't been back to a conference since 24, but it was a wonderful community. I was doing a part of a presentation and my guest was part of that. It was in the audience and was really eager to share some of his experiences and the work that he was doing. And so I've continued to follow his work and continue to see what he's doing. And so he's highly engaged on social media, always sharing messages, wonderful messages, uplift, but also just incredibly educational. And just before we got on, we talked about the need for these faces and for information, particularly for first generation students, but first generation professionals, which we both are. But before I go on, I want to allow him to introduce himself. So Dr. Fred, would you mind introducing yourself to our viewers and listeners out there? Of course. Thank you so much. And yes, Daché has been an amazing opportunity for us to connect, to be fed, to be educated, love everything about Daché. And I also regret that I have not stayed connected in the last couple of years, the reality of budget cuts and the difficulty in higher ed. Yeah, my name is Dr. Fred Fuentes. I'm originally from Corpus Christi from South Texas and proud, proud South Texas kid. And the truth of the matter is Dr. J, like many individuals listening to you today, I didn't think any of this stuff was possible. Never mind that technology would be this beneficial and helpful in our lives. I didn't know that you could go to college, have a career, working at a university. I didn't know people like that. And it's just, it's been an amazing journey. And so for myself, I share with people all the time that I was that kid, Dr. J, that when they asked me to go present my senior year, our class project, right, individual class project, I wasn't prepared. I was the young man that I would rather act like an imbecile than be discovered, quote unquote, that I was ignorant, that I was dumb, that I was unprepared. And so rather than admit to my classmates, my teacher that I had not done my work and I was unprepared, I offered an insult. And that was a great way out. It was an excellent way to avoid any kind of responsibility. And it got me exactly what I wanted. I got kicked out of the class. I was got kicked out of high school altogether. They tried to keep me from graduating high school and I didn't care. I really didn't care. I was that kid. And so that's my motivation today. My motivation is for the young men and women that are easily dismissed, discounted or just ignored that, that, that you are looking past them because they're dealing with mental health issues or, or being, you know, difficult social issues that they don't know how to fully express or express at all. So since then, I've heard you mention this as well. And this is what made me think about it. You go out of your way to develop your skill set of speaking. I've gone out of my way as well because I have something to make up and higher ed largely for me has been making up recovering some of my past. So that's kind of how I introduce myself. I'm just a, just an average kid just trying to do right, man. And along that path, I've been given the opportunity to, to, to do what I call, I guess my little superpower and that's mentoring and I'll be lifting people. That's what I do. Right. Dr. Fred, thank you, man. That, that was a, that was a heck of an introduction and it's, I appreciate that you, you know, I always start the podcast where the first question is, you know, if you had to identify starting point for educational journey, what was the first question? What would that starting point be? And I, and I, you know, I think you've given us kind of a, you know, bird's eye view, right? We can, I think we can all picture that student, whether we were that student or we knew that student in class that had the insult instead of being, you know, recognized that they weren't ready. They weren't prepared. But I, I don't know that that was the starting point for your educational journey. What is the starting point for your own educational journey? Yeah, I think for me, looking back, I was in the Head Start program and back there in Corpus Christi, Corpus Christi in the Molina area on the west side. And I remember the joy. I remember looking up at my mom and I could have only been four years old or five years old, but I remember, or maybe someone has educated me so much about that memory that I think I remember. But in my head, in my little brain, I remember my mom being so proud of that moment. And, and I know there's a picture of me wearing a little graduation gown and our cap. Dr. J was made out of milk cartons. So they cut the top or the bottom of the milk carton and tried to wrap it with paper as much as possible, whatever that probably toilet tissue. That stuff was cutting the top of my head because what plastic? Hey, that bull school milk jug plastic did not play around. And we kept it for the longest time when it folded and started to deteriorate and finally made it to the trash. But that moment that brought my mom joy. And later on, I found out, Dr. J, that my mom didn't graduate high school. My father didn't graduate high school. My father didn't go to middle school. And so education, I quickly saw was the evening evening out plank. So it was, it was, it was that, that, that one thing they could, that they could never take away from. And you heard it often in the neighborhood and the community people say, Hey, get your education boy. No one can ever take that away from you. Now, I'm not sure I always understood it. But when I did, I thought I'm going to do that. And I remember I was sweeping. I was working at a fast food restaurant and this lady came in from a local community college, Delmar College there, Corpus Christi. And she said, she asked me like, what are you doing, Mijo? And you know, and anytime anyone addresses you with Mijo, they're about to hold some mad knowledge your way, right? Either they're going to insult you or they're going to uplift you. And this lady was there to lift me. Dr. Chang, she told me, why don't you go to college? Have her thought about this? And the truth of the matter is, of course, the conversation had been, had happened. But when I went the next day or that very first week to talk to my college counselor at the high school, you know, she was very frank. And she said, well, Mijo, you're not college material. Wow. And I think that for most people, they're going to, well, for me, I definitely accepted and said, yeah, I guess you're right. But I hold no ill will towards that woman. You know, that lady was telling me the truth. She was telling me that I hadn't done anything to prepare for college. College is not easy, Dr. Chang. And I think anyone can do it. But you need to be prepared. When you talk about the first generations of a path, if you're not surrounded by people who believe in you, but one, and people who can offer you that those opportunities, those advice points, I don't know that you're going to make it. It's that difficult. And you may be a phenomenal high school student, but navigating colleges and community college and four-year universities can be difficult. It's not impossible. But what that woman was telling me was that I hadn't prepared for myself for that mountain climb. And later on in my life, I was determined to prove her wrong. And I quickly realized, I don't know if you know this, Dr. J, but when you go back to Utah song like, hey, when we were in school, you said I could dance. And here I am. I'm a backup dancer for Noseke, what, what, what. And you're like, I don't remember saying that. What do you mean? I built my whole life on that conversation we had like, who are you? And that's the humbling piece about life. I couldn't go to her and say, hey, Mrs. So-and-So, you said this. Instead, I had to take responsibility for my actions, my inactions. Step it up. And so for me, that's the complete college journey right there is is is the Head Start program to later on saying, I think I want to go to college. But I didn't have a plan. Right. It's no different than you say, I think I want to buy a car. What kind of car? Do you want a car? Practical car? Do you want something fast? Do you want a truck? Do you want it lowered? Do you want it to have this and that? Do you care if it has? What if it's so cheap, but it doesn't have air conditioner? Are you cool with that? You hadn't even thought about it. And those things, that's what college is like as well. Where? Two year, four year. What do you mean? Sir, Dr. Fred, you brought up a good point. And I love the way you framed it about taking ownership, taking responsibility for that. Because a lot of my guests, a lot of my guests talk about taking ownership for their education. And so it happens at different points for everybody, but it feels like everybody that I've spoken to an interview on this podcast, talk about that moment when they recognize, you know, that counselor or that person was right. I'm not prepared. I haven't been prepared. And I need to take responsibility for that or whatever, what have you. And so thank you for framing it like that because I think that's so important. And I know that's a message I try to get across to students is, you know, other people will show up for you, but are you taking ownership? Are you taking responsibility for that journey, for your education or whatever it is? Are you taking responsibility? So thank you so much for that. What did that mean then? Next, what came next for you? You have this conversation with your counselor. What came next? I had to come up with a plan and because I didn't have anything really prepared, I went to the only at that time in the in the late 80s, early 90s. There were no college recruiters in the neighborhood. Okay. When they did outreach, it was likely behind a table at their college at a local. Health fair, perhaps maybe. I don't ever remember seeing college colleges represented in the community. The only group that ever went was a military. And so the army guys would drive around, they'd go to the park and see guys playing like, hey, I see you, you know, physically fit. And they're smart. They know what they're doing. You guys running around the park or hanging out or a how about, how about, you know, making, making an honest man of yourself kind of thing. And so that was my approach. And what they did was they educated me about the opportunities that the army could provide me. I went back and I was talking to my boss and then my boss at time said, well, you'll be like every other guy who used to work here went to the army came back. And I said, okay, like, what does that mean exactly? You'll come back with a child, maybe a car, a nice sound system. And that's it. You'll come back to your hometown and tell between your butt kind of thing. I said, oh, she's, she's a she can envision already my, my errors, my mistakes. Yeah. Well, again, I have some of the proof. So my first night when I, when I arrived, I joined the military. I left within a few weeks. I was gone. I arrived at the, at my, at my base, which is in Washington state and they had those little metal kind of aluminum things that kind of spin around. They had brochures on it and I saw they had college classes pulled that one. They had stuff about, well, everything else, you know, you can imagine, right? Mental health stuff and, and, and all kinds of different diseases and stuff like that. And I took the college one and the next morning when I got situated, I made a call and I applied for my, applied to go to college. And then within a couple of weeks, if I remember correctly, maybe a month or so, I took a class. It was an English 1301. And I made a B at Dr. J. When I tell you that's the first time I had ever earned something in my heart, man. Like, yeah, it just, I had earned something and I had something approved after that. And I was the only dude in my whole unit, probably this, the whole base. It was taking college classes as an 18, 19 year old. And, and, and I was just determined because in my head, I was, I was listening to what my boss said about, you know, whatever. And, and like, I remember one time my friends were like, Hey, this weekend, you know, what you got going on? I said, I'm just kind of studying stuff. They got a sale at the local audio place, man, we're going to put some systems in our car. We're all doing it. I said, no dice, bro. Like, no, you don't understand. It's price. Fuentes, you know, everyone goes by your last name. Like, Fuentes is happy. I said, I can't do it. That because in me, in my heart, I was already like, nah, you didn't get me. You know, I envisioned a box of the stick and my hand reaching in and they just pulled that and they get me. Right. So I ain't buying an audio system. I'm not, I'm not messing around and, and, and I'm being super aware of who I communicate with, who I date and everything. And I just realized that maturity and taking responsibility. Dr. J took a lot of work, you know, but I was determined to be, I was just determined to be a man. I was determined to be somebody different. And I ended up getting a letter and I graduated. They wrote me a letter and said, here's a ceremony and I was so ignorant. I didn't know. Uh, I thought it costs money to go to the graduation. So I didn't go. I didn't have the money to go. Wow. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't go. And another thing is another, another little lesson I learned. I was so ignorant to college life that we would deploy a lot. I was in a highly deployable unit. And so we would, they'd give us a call. We'd jump on a bird, you know, two or three in the morning and then arrive at a land in another country. Stay there for weeks, months, whatever, and then come back. And then I'd go to local college and I was taking classes and they'd say, uh, yeah, so you were given a zero for this class because you didn't, you know, report back, which was just a standard. I said, okay. They said, but don't worry, you can just sign up next semester. All right, great. And then, and then I understood with a GPA. Yeah, I didn't, I did not know. Yeah. They just, they made it sound so easy. Like, don't worry, you can sign up next semester and they took your money and all this stuff. And I signed up next semester and I took 1302 or whatever it was. I didn't know that every time I would deploy those zeros were averaged into my GPA. And so my graduating GPA is something like a two point, whatever it is. And, and, but I keep pride in that because there was a lot of learning that happened in that process. You have to learn on your own, right? And so those are the lessons I walked away with, but for sure I ended up graduating. I got my associate's degree while an active duty soldier and it's really rare to do that at that time. Yeah. Congratulations. Yeah, thanks. Yeah. Um, talk, talk about taking ownership. I mean, that's a hell of a way to take ownership, right? Knowing that you're going to get deployed at any moment, but you're still focused on, I'm still signing up. I'm still showing up taking these classes, man. Real life missions too. I mean, this wasn't, you know, this is early, early nineties. And so we get a lot of missions in Latin America at the time with, you could look it up, Operation Safehaven, which was the Cuban refugee crisis at the time. So Cuban refugees, of course, were leaving the island during the Clinton administration. So we, we built camps for them. You could call them other terms, but they were referred to as camps. And then some instances, some instances happened that resulted in our units being awarded various medals and stuff. So it's pretty cool stuff, you know, but at the same time, I was just so determined and focused on, on getting an education. Again, if I knew then what I know now, I'd be like, don't, don't even do it. You're GPA. Yeah. If you die and go to the pearly gates today, you, you're going to judge you off a 1.8 GPA point. Whatever it is, right? Higher education hell is where you go, man. So luckily I didn't die and now they would have redeemed myself, you know, for sure. How long, how long did you serve? Five years. Five years. I need to do the nice set. So here you are. You're in the military. You're taking your classes and earlier talked about a plan. So what was the plan? What was the plan looking forward for you? The plan was to come back home with a college degree. Again, have an average car, nothing, no Coni Camaro or nothing like that. Trans-Am, no stereo system and no children. It was, it was a very simple plan. And I remember I went to the, I forgot what it was called, but it's an out-processing when you get out of the army. And they said, stand up. If you're walking away with a college degree after serving this great army, I stood up and there was one or two other guys in a room full of about four or 500 people. Yeah, I'm one in 100 every time. They said, let's give a round of applause to these two or three gentlemen. When they get out, people are going to be knocking at their door to offer them a job. I'm like, that's what's up. That's what's up. Dr. Jay, when I tell you I waited by my door, I checked the door knob, I checked the hinges, I installed a doorbell. Listen, I was doing everything I was saying by the door, by the door with a little glass in it. Yeah, never came knocking at my door to offer me a job. Perhaps I misunderstood, friends, but college has been this beautiful blessing, but at the same time, it's not a standalone product. You know, like, listen, you can have a piece of paper. It means nothing if you're not active, if you're not doing it. You learn some tough lessons, but I mean, I would go by the door and I'd check the mail and I was just convinced that I had this exaggerated edge that nobody else had. But then you realize you're competing with everyone else with a four-year degree. So then you buy in, right? And you need that competitive four-year degree. You need to get into the job you started applying for because you want to advance. It's not how I stayed there. I'd be, you know, big fish, little pond, but I wanted a larger pond. I wanted to get into the ocean kind of thing. And so I went and got my associate, my bachelor's degree. And then you quickly realize, well, you're competing against now the top 20, 30% or whatever the data says. Hey, let me go get that next little monster. I'm going to go get a master's degree. So you just start doing that. And then at a certain point, I remember I was sitting next to my home girl. She's a podcaster as well. Christina Jolly. She does a podcast bigger. Oh my good man. My apologies for not knowing, but I'll put it in the comments, brother. But check it out. She and I were sitting next to each other. Her last name is at the time. My last name is Fuentes. So we're next to each other. And I remember the speaker and her graduation was that guy, Joe. Kenting was last name, but he wrote the book. He was the photographer who wrote the book. We were young. We were young or something like that. Played by Mel Gibson. Man, I wish I had a better memory. Anyways, we were so inspired by his speech that they, because they did that movie about him later on. We looked at each other and we said, let's go get that master's degree. Let's go get it. So we did. And you know, you need those people in your life that motivates you and gets you past because these are difficult paths to navigate, particularly as a first generation. I love the ignorance though, Dr. J. I love that. I didn't know what I was getting into. Yeah. Perhaps I wouldn't have done it. And then, and then you do the doctorate. You go down that path as well. But that was the ultimate. Oh my goodness. Academic bullying that I experienced. Like it's a crazy process. And when people say I'm thinking about doing, I say go for it. Like it's not about who's smart. None of these don't these are no determined yet. Yeah. And I'm going to have a little foolish foolishness too. Right. Well, who's most determined? I would argue that we're no different, of course, than the young entrepreneur. Right. You're going to get into stuff that's going to be so difficult. You're going to have to figure things out. But if you're, if you're that beast, man, if you can handle all the nose, you're going to be successful. If you can handle the stress, it'll break a good person. Oh yeah. This process ain't easy. And they, and I believe that a lot of it is unknown for that very reason. You know, it's, there's not a playbook to it. We talked about, we're working on a doctorate. Like let's start writing down the, the steps it's taken us from, from end of class. Once you're done with your classes, the academic side through the testing and everything else. And I think we had stopped at like 70 different steps. Like this is ridiculous. You know, what do we, what are we doing here? But I love it. I wouldn't change it at all. I love that. I love that. So you're, you're, you're getting these degrees, you're earning these degrees friend. What was your major at your bachelor's? What was the major and, and then the masters? What were the, yeah, you know, when I was in the army, I was in a military police company. And so when I got out, I wanted to do nothing but criminology, criminal justice along those lines. And there was like all these new technologies in the nineties. Like they were just playing with the idea of using super glue and a controlled, a small area to highlight, to stick to fingerprints, latent prints, you know. And so like all this news thing, all these new things were happening and it was exciting. But I just fell in love with the softer side of that world. And, and there was a story that just really hit me. I quickly realized, Dr. J, that I'm a little bit more emotionally connected than most other men, you know, and I don't know why that is. And I'd always pushed it away and done my thing, but I quickly realized that I love criminal justice and criminology, but I love this, the counseling side, the getting better, the therapeutic side. I actually felt bad for the men and women who were incarcerated. And, and I thought, no, no, no, you could, you could, you could extract that one statement and be like, oh, so he feels sorry for, you know, these, and then you could add a type of crimes people committed. What I'm talking about is the eight 15 year old version of these kiddox men, when the fathers weren't around, when the mothers went around, when, when all they wanted Dr. J was a hug. And I got a hug. I got many hugs growing up. I'm a blessed and privileged young boy when I was growing up. I had it all. But I feel bad that people from my own neighborhood, maybe even people in my own family, people definitely in my community, were in a situation they were finding love through drugs, through alcohol, through violent, whatever. They would allow people to do things to their bodies and their minds because they was just seeking love. And that's when I fell in love with the concept of, if you will, the softer side of my, my education, I went into counseling. So I got my master's degree in counseling and I was a therapist for many years. But, you know, even that could take a toll, even on the best therapist, even on the most protected therapist, like you got to keep yourself in check at all times. Because you have heavy stuff. No more than I would say Dr. J, when you offer mentoring and guidance to young, young souls and young entrepreneurs and all this stuff. If you don't stay healthy, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, all that, you can't give. You'll be drained. You're no longer that resource. You know, and so I offer that to you too. Unless we forget that in order for us to give, we have to be a hundred. Yeah. Right? You talk about that wheelhouse. You talk about the fragility of someone who is not complete. We can't give, man. Yeah. And I quickly learned that I was willing to, man, I, you know how we are. We give you the last dollar. Well, on the same thing, we'll give you our last emotion, the last bit of energy. And that's an unhealthy way of living because then you got to go home and I have a spouse and children that are, you know, wanting to absorb that same thing because who I am is who I am. I always giving advice. I'm always sitting down like, come here every time, which I love you. Why are you so important? And Dr. J, there was a time there where I was coming home and I was just sitting at the edge of the bed and just kind of looking out the window. And then I had to quickly realize, I remember my wife walked up and she thought something different. She thought, she thought Freddie Fred was had his eyes peeping on somebody and it wasn't like that. Yeah. I was, I was dealing with depression. I had to take care of it myself. So, so I was sitting at the edge. I wasn't thinking about nobody. I wasn't even thinking. I was just staring long stare, right? And so I had to go get help for that. And what happened was it was after my mom passed away during COVID and and and and I share this with people was like, I had it all, man. I had what I thought I needed to handle a difficult moment in my life. I'm an army veteran. I'm formally educated at the highest level. I have the best job in the world. I have the best friends in the world, the best children, the best spouse. I got it all. And it wasn't enough. God can check because at the end you're just a hurt eight year old hurt nine year old. Yeah. And you got to check yourself in those moments. Right. And so I had to go reach out to get some help and the number one helpers time after time. I've been my veteran brothers and sisters. That's what's got me through all of this. It doesn't mean other people have not. I had some amazing people and I will say this women more than men have been phenomenal in my life. Yeah. And I don't know it was because I'm seeking that because I don't have a mom anymore. But mental health is such a big part of everything that we do. And if you're not taking care of yourself, I would argue in all, all facets, right? All of your pillars. If you're not taking care of yourself, you're not complete and you can't give sound advice. And eventually you find yourself perhaps in a bit of a bind. That's it's hard. It's hard to navigate out of kind of where I've been and what I've risen from. Yeah. And you can tell Dr. There's still at times a little shakiness in my voices because I still struggle with what I think about my mom. Yeah. That's the legacy she left behind. And when I share with people, it's like, tell me something beautiful about your culture. I said, I'm going to tell you something beautiful. Our people live forever. So what are you talking about? I said, I got the secret right here in my hand on how we live forever. I said, what is that? I said, in here's your legacy, legacy, man. If you live a life, Dr. Jace, that that people want to emulate, right? If you live a life not for you, but for what you did for others, you leave a legacy and then you live forever. Yeah. So in fact, our culture embraces the concept of living forever. When I tell you my mom's name, Yolanda Lin was Fuentes, you already know. And when I meet people, I met a gentleman the other day, he watches mom drown in Hurricane Katrina. They are a homeless family in Hurricane Katrina, man. He was a child. They were homeless in an abandoned car. Can you imagine the trauma this young man has had to overcome? If he is ever past it, I don't know. Yeah. But you find those movements to make us stronger and college has been no different. There are people who are struggling and navigating different things. And you know, when you work in the university, every year you get e-mail, source the end of an accident that happened or something happened. And you're just like, such a young life, man. Gone. And so I just, I think about those things, Dr. Jayden, because I want to leave a legacy not for me, because not because I care about living forever. Constant for my children. Yeah. People that I've had the tremendous privilege of mentoring. They want you healthy too. Yeah. We love you like a father, like a grandfather. And they just, hey, yo, Dr. Fred, you taking care of yourself? You already know what that means. Yeah. And they're trying to say you better be taking care of yourself. Could I need you on this earth a little bit longer? Yeah. Like your advice kind of thing, you know? Yeah. You know, Fred, I appreciate all of this because I mean, it's so rich. There's so much there. And it's kind of like, I don't know if you were peeking into my class today. I had class this morning and I was, so part of my practice, right? I talk with first year students, but I require all of my students to meet with me one on one. I like to get to know them where they're coming from. And so young man, I'm meeting with him. And at the end, I'm like, you know, ask if he has any questions. He asked me about, about teaching and how I got into teaching. And I told him that I think like you, I think, I think I'm very much sort of in touch with my emotions and, and, but I found that, you know, I, I sought advice and mentorship from my faculty when I was going through it. And whenever I was struggling, I just, I went straight to the faculty and I tell my students, you know, I was more afraid of coming home, like you said, with that tail between your legs. So I was like, I'm going to suck it up. I'm going to go talk to the faculty. I'm going to go get some help. And I said, and there was, I was incredibly blessed and I, and I said, I got to pay this forward. So when I work with my students, like, you know, I want to give them the same experience that I had. And I said, but I said, when you open yourself up like this, I said, it's meant to be. I said, it's mentally, I said, emotionally taxing. And I said, I wasn't ready for that when I started teaching. I said, so I've got to take care of myself too. And I think for a lot of the young people, at least that I work with my experience has been, they think they get the degree, they think they get the job. And just like you, you just described your beautiful family and everything. And they think everything's great. And so I appreciate you talking through and taking us through that, what you experienced and how important it was for you to get the help that you need. That's right. Well, you know, we talk often, as I said, but when you and I were chatting for the importance of understanding there are unique challenges for first generation students. Well, those challenges don't end when you graduate. You then become a first generation, if you will, using this term professional entrepreneur father for that matter. Right. So so using the term first generation is I'm new to this. Why me all this? How do I navigate? You know, do I do I? How do I dress my first day of work? How do I act? Do I do I try to like not talk to anyone because I don't want to be in my business? Or do I try to like go out of my way to be super friendly because whatever, whatever. But then then then all the office politics on it's complicated. And so having a mentor matters from the very beginning, but also be mindful where you get your information from. I talk to people all the time. Don't be buying no running shoes from people wearing chanclas. You know, what do they know? I'm not saying where I would chanclas to, but I'm just trying to tell you right now, like be be mindful where you get your shoes. Where you get your information from and why they're giving you that information. Right. You ain't going to go buy a house from a realtor that is running out in an apartment. They better own a house. They better understand the dynamics and difficulties of buying a home. And that's not nice. Of course, I own my chanclas today and I've lived in many of an apartment. I live in many of projects as well. My point is that you have to know where it's coming from and why it's coming from people might people might be like, oh, me whole. You don't need to be going to college. It's not even worth it. Well, that could be true. What do you want to do? What's your what's your what are your goals? Like, listen, I'm the fastest guy in the world and I just want to run track. You don't need to go to college. You might benefit. They're going to give you scholarship. But the truth of the matter is you're probably not going to spend time in class. You're just going to be running mad if you're that guy. And I mentioned that because I just I love track so much and we're in track season right now. So all my TikTok videos are the fastest runners in the United States. Well, they're from Texas because we already know, right? So I know stuff, but I'm also very mindful. Dr. J of where it's coming from, why is coming to me? Okay. So yes, people can say that college doesn't matter. You're going to struggle. Where are they coming from? It matters to me for the in order for the career or you and I that we've had, you have to go to college. Do you want to be a medical doctor? You have to go to college. You want to be a school teacher, right? When I do community events, they were complaining. I remember this couple years back, well, it's just the teachers don't that they were they were kind of alluding to the ethnicity and race gender makeup of the teaching staff. I said, well, yeah, this sounds like we got to figure it out. Okay. So they invited me. So I can say this. Okay. It looks like there's Hispanic men and women in the room. Raise your hand before if you have a four year degree or in an at least an alt cert program or have a degree in teaching. None of you. So then what can we do back to the responsibility, responsibility piece? What can we do to make an impact on local school? Now you can be mad at the at the racial makeup of the of the staff, but they have the degrees. But now, now let's bring in a college that could get us all certain. Let's get some four year degrees in here. And several people took me up on that offer. Let's talk about it. Let's be solution focused. Yeah. Right. It's the same thing. Like why are you going to college? Because my goals need me to be in this program in order for me to be an engineer. Now, now that I've answered that, what can I do to effectively navigate cost and time to get through that process? Because you can make money. You can make more money. Dr. J, you can't make more time. No. And so if you want to stretch that program out to five years rather than three and a half, that's a year and a half of an average 45 to $65,000 a year salary. So you just lost up to $100,000 on that decision. Now you don't like that. No one likes to lose money, but you can make more money in a lifetime. You can make more money. No matter what, who you are, where you are, what you are, you can never make up a second, not even a millisecond. So if time is that valuable. And to me, it is. I am for today's podcast. I'm prepared. Listen, I know that I'm on a podcast. I know that I'm not. This is not an interview or or alive. I mean, I'm not in person. But let me tell you, Dr. J, I may have, yeah, I took a shower. I saved. I got Kelowna. I got my center of the day rate. Listen, I don't play because I'm here to represent myself in a certain way. It's no different when they say, Hey, Mr. Fuentes, can you come down school meet about, you know, your son or daughter situation? Same process. Yeah. Okay. If it's a work day and I'm already dressed, I got a suit on. I'll go. If it's not, I come home, I shower up, shave, I get proper. I look a certain way. Dr. J, because it's the way you present yourself is how people are going to treat you. And if I, if you're going to treat me like that, you're going to treat my son like that or my daughter. So if I go over there looking presentable and introduce myself as such, then this can be a meaningful and respectful engagement. Yeah. I'm sorry that we live in a world where when my father used to go to school smelling like oil, they talked to him a certain way. It hurts my heart, man. I hope that there were some teachers that said that man's in the family, that man's available and he is working. That's why he looks and smells like that. But we don't live in that world. Yeah. We're going to treat you this very way. And so all that to say, I do, I prepped for moments like this because we don't know who's watching. We don't know who's on the other side, but I know this one day, Dr. J, when you and I are gone, our families, you're going to look back at this moment. And they're going to say, look at my dad. Look at my deal. That's my great uncle right there. Right. That's my brother. And did we do honor? Did we leave a legacy? And I'm going to argue that we did. So to all my guests, my listeners out there, listeners and viewers, by the way, if you have not, if you've never met Fred, Dr. Fred Fuentes in person, he is easily one of the best stress people I've ever met. You know, at the Statue Conference, Fred usually had top three coat. I always had one of the best coats. And so I'm sure Dr. Daniel Villanueva would work to RZ there. I can't compete with Dr. V. This is Dr. V because he's got the whole look. And no, I love that guy. But when you listen to his story, he'll tell you this. Yeah. And at some point people was trying to count him out, right? They say, you look a certain way. And he tells me, I'm running out of time with him. And you got a list. He said, so I had to navigate. I had to overcome all of that. Well, that's largely who we are, Dr. J. We are overcoming things that we believe to be or that we think other people believe to be. Well, I'm here to let you know. I've met a lot of people. And Dr. Villanueva stands out as someone who's like, you want to have a winner on your team? Someone's going to put you to the next level. That's the guy right there. So if you think it's just a look, you're wrong. Right? Same thing with me. If you think you're going to say this young man walked up to me church, he was, hey, sir, can you mentor me? I said, well, sit down. Let's talk about it. Let's go in and do the interview now. He said, what interview? What do you mean? I interviewed. I'm just taking on people to mentor. Let's do it right now. Are you ready? Yes, sir. Let's go. Let's actually let's go outside because I want some privacy. And so we went through an interview process. What are you trying to get from this kind of thing? Yeah. He told me his story. I'm like, I'm all in. Are you all in? Well, let's go. And that's the beauty of it because that's my job, right? That's my legacy. That's my little, as I say, superpower. I can mentor. I can motivate people. I can empower people. So if you want to seek that, you want a little piece of that, let's go. Because at one point in my life, someone did the same for me. Yeah. And it's a beautiful thing to give back. Oh, absolutely. Before we jumped on, we were talking about, you know, the, I think you said, you didn't realize you could work at a university. Yeah. So tell me about the work that you, you know, how you found your way to working at the university. And then tell us about the work that you're doing now. Because we hold out. Yeah. So I remember being in a meeting and a professor, several professors had a meeting. They brought me and one of our students in and the guy said, you know, I got to tell you, Fred, I just like the way you move. I said, okay. And he says, how do we get more people like you? I said, what does that mean? Like, tell me what you interpreted as liking about me. Like what? I need you to be a little more specific. And he said, you know, the leadership piece, just that engages that very human rat. And I said, well, you can hire me for one. Right. And then, and then I can help you hire other people. Let's go. And so that's how my quest started at the university. Right. And so my first, my first job was working in the veterans office. They assigned me to the veterans and said, okay. And, and largely people have tried to put me in two little boxes. He can help veterans and he can help Latinos. And largely I have fought out of those boxes, not because I don't appreciate and love the work of helping veterans and helping Latinos, but I'm not limited to two groups. And it seems unfair to limit a resource to two groups. Now, you can maximize me and put me in front of unique situations where I can help those two groups, but I want to help everyone. Dr. K, I want to help men and women. I want to help individuals in traditionally marginalized communities. I want to help people who, who think they don't need my help. I want to help people who actually do not need my help. Yeah. Because I want to grow too. You're not just, I'm not just helping you. I'm learning in the process as well. And so early on I worked in the veterans office. I worked in offices that were uniquely named office of Latino, this and that. And I tried to educate my colleagues. There's a better way of helping these groups. And I don't believe in an office that's only going to help one group because then, because my black and white students would come in and be like, yeah, Dr. Fran, like, so you can't help me anymore. Like, of course, of course I can help you. Nothing would ever, but your office says, yeah, those are the, those are university rules and politics. I like to think that now, despite some of the discomfort, we're getting back to a place where everyone is mindful of the language of service. Let's help each other. Okay. And let's, let's empower each other, but let's also recognize that some groups need a little bit more. Right. If you've ever worked with the Latino community, I'm Chicano. I'm seventh, eighth generation American. I don't have the same needs. Largely my people in South Texas that my people in North Texas have in the DFW is largely a first generation immigration community. Right. And the DFW and in South Texas, that's not true. Hmm. We've been there for a long time and those, those last names have a lot of history. And in the Dallas DFW area, they're still trying to navigate some still have accents. I do research on needs. Dr. J and, and why, why and how we go from Fernando and Jose to Freddie and Joey. You see what I'm saying? And to J or whatever else and so, and then we even move away from that. And then we're named Meredith and, and, uh, you know, in Tanner is where my nephew's named, you know, and so I love doing research on that, but it reflects the comfort. And the, and the evolution of first gen to sixth, seventh, eighth generation. That's what that says, right? So that's how I started and, and I was always doing work to try to help others. What I'm doing today is, um, um, after 18 plus years at the university, um, our, our team was let go, man. Only only two months ago. And so this is the reality of the world we live in. Um, I, so I had said, um, I had said, um, I had said, um, I had said, um, I had said, um, I had saved up a bunch of money and also a, um, a large list of things that I needed to do. And, and my wife, I said, joke that I was let go so I could finally do that list of things, which I'm doing, I'm working on and exhausting every last bit of dollar to get it done. And I'm just doing some online stuff, finishing up this book that I've been writing for about seven or eight years. It's a book about revenge. And now I'm a little bit more pissed off after having a lot of jobs. So I made changing some of the names and some of the ending to the characters book, you know, but, um, I'm going to be finishing up that book. Uh, my colleague and I would do a podcast as Carl or last 30 and the whole concept behind the podcast is if you only had 30 days to live, what would you do differently? And largely what we've learned is men take, we're so ignorant. We wouldn't tell anyone. Most of us would be like, I ain't telling anyone. I ain't say nothing. I'm just going to my death like that. Like, no, man, you got, you got to get communicate, connect with your emotions and have that last meal or have that last opportunity to tell someone you love them. That's me. I want, I take every chance to tell people I love them and I mean it, man. Love is that powerful and, and the human, human touches well. Dr. J. Like all this stuff is, is that powerful? So that's what I'm doing right now, man. I'm getting healthy. I'm getting well. Um, taking care of myself. I am the, um, head cook of my home on the chief driver Uber representative. I'm the senior representative of maintenance. Um, so from toilets to floors, man, I do it all. Um, what I really, really love is getting everyone to school and work safe. And then when they come home, I whip up a really good meal and I do my best to, to make them proud. And, and I'm kind of annoying. I'd stand over there and I'm like, well, well, what do you think? So I've really developed my craft and also working on some things. So in about this ends in about another month and then I'll get back to work and get back to doing my thing. But I have enjoyed, um, this time and, uh, I know that it's scary for a lot of people. I, for me, I started working when I was 12 years old. Yeah. My last day was less than two weeks before I turned 53. So for 40 plus years, just shy of 41 years, I only knew to work and I'm trying to relearn a little bit of to live. You know, uh, and it's been a tough lesson. Uh, so thank you, man. Thank you for this opportunity to share my perspective and, and, and I wanted to also just share with you. I'm thankful for having met you and for watching the work you're doing as well and to empower young minds and to remind them, um, what their power is. And, and, and it's not going to be easy, Dr. J, but man, is it worth it? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And Fred, thank you for, you know, for taking the time to share your story with us and, and, and just blessing us with all of this knowledge, like just, you know, all of your experiences and your wisdom and, and clearly you are somebody who absolutely, uh, loves, right? Loves, loves to love, but just loves what you do. Loves the mentoring part piece. And I feel like a lot of the folks that I've interviewed lately, I have talked about mentoring and the importance of mentoring in their lives. And, and I feel the same way. I've been incredibly blessed to have and have some powerful mentors. And so, so thank you. Thank you for, for today. Yes, sir. Absolutely. Thank you. Have a wonderful day and we'll see you. This, uh, this concludes another episode of the way to college podcast. Thank you to my guests. Thank you to all of our listeners and viewers out there. Uh, don't forget to share the podcast with one other person. I'll be, be sure to drop, um, Fred's link for his podcast and for some other work that he's doing, um, in the show notes. Um, so make sure you check those out. Uh, but other than that, we will see you guys again soon. Bye-bye. Thank you. We'll see you. Yeah.