No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the puja bhajjo on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. Hello, it's LaserStories! It's the radio segment that's producing the sequel to The Hills Have Eyes. It's called The Hills Have Elbows. Not even sure what that means, but I'm definitely freaked out by it. Still pointy though. Is that just a mountain? It's laser stories. The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser and those other evil elbows just don't. This first laser story is out of Aberdeen, Scotland. There's a bar called Sober, S-O-B-R, where it's entirely alcohol free. Oh, that's cool. I thought it was going to be ironic and just really wasted people the whole time. It's actually right on the nose. They have non-alcoholic beers, wines and cocktails. That's cool. It's actually a good concept. And it was created for those who love the energy of a great night out without the hangover that follows. Oh, yeah. But just remember you're going to remember everything. Yeah. Well, maybe the manager should have stuck to the menu. Uh-oh. I say that because 33-year-old Hayden Girardi is the manager of the Sober bar. About a month ago, he was leaving his job driving home when he crashed into a barn. Oh. Well, that could happen. Maybe the barn jumped out. Luckily for him, there were no animals inside, but cops were called and Hayden was just convicted of drunk driving after being caught more than four times over the legal limit. Oh. Again, Brooke, I bet you he doesn't even remember driving. He's wasted at a sober bar managing it. Remember driving away from the sober bar. He has so many DDs available there. Yeah. That's a good point. It doesn't sound like there were any injuries, but it was serious because he was found slumped over the wheel of his car and he has now been banned from driving for a year and got fined $700. Will he be the only guy to ever be 86 from the sober bar? Actually, no. The owner of the sober bar is supporting Hayden and is welcoming him back with open arms once his sentence is done. Look at that. All right. They will be thoroughly checking his pockets though every time he comes to work. I mean, business is the business. Let's go to your next laser story out of Buffalo, New York. Troopers spotted a 2015 Dodge Charger the other night when it sped by without license plates. Oh. Can't do that. Yeah, pretty obvious. So they flipped on their lights, but the driver wasn't stopping. In fact, he sped up, reaching speeds of over 100 miles an hour. Oh my God. Dang. Now, One Point cops got close enough to see his bumper sticker, which read, Sorry, officer, I thought you wanted to race. Oh, that's when they all got a good laugh and they just pulled over, right? I heard you remember engine, I thought. But he was going too fast, so police were about to give up until he turned on to Route 198 and was met with standstill traffic. Oh, no. Oh, for a long time ever. Worst time to get stuck in bumper to bumper. Cops easily caught up with him and 23 year old Elias Cook was arrested without incident. That's not fair. They didn't have a free tractor race on. Yeah, that's why you always got to check your ways even on a high speed chase. So no where the traffic is. Good point. Yeah, find that alternate route. Elias did try to point to his bumper sticker before he was put in the back of the squad car saying, What did he say? Why didn't anyone want to race? Oh, yeah. Come on guys. Officers did not laugh and Elias is scheduled to return to court next week. Oh, look at that. It's more on funny cops. I mean, come on. I hope he has a funny judge joke. Get a sense of humor law enforcement. This next laser story is out of AI central. This is an interesting statement, but it's true. Microsoft does not think we should take its AI assistant co-pilot too seriously. What? Really? What do you mean? Even the companies are giving up on these things. Last year, they quietly updated the terms for co-pilot. Here's what it says. Co-pilot is for entertainment purposes only. What? It can make mistakes and may not work as intended. Do not rely on co-pilot for important advice. Use co-pilot at your own risk. Oh, that doesn't feel right. That makes me not want to use co-pilot. Yeah. I mean, how many times have you heard a company telling you not to trust its own product? Yeah. Well, I think all of the ones behind AI right now. Yeah, I think they're all have legal slammers. Yes. Google is like, oh, sorry, that's probably going to lie to you. Yeah. I love how at the end of every AI prompt, it's like, AI is wrong. Then why am I asking you? It's a sharp contrast to Microsoft CEO who recently said that you should use co-pilot in your everyday life. Oh, wow. And you can even ask it to predict outcomes. Wow. Should we ask co-pilot if we should be using co-pilot? Or should we even be talking about it? Wait a minute. Maybe co-pilot should take over. Microsoft says their disclaimer about it being for entertainment purposes only is just legacy language. From when co-pilot was more of a search to the back of the day. I see it. Just a little legalese, huh? They say they plan to update that soon, but for now, maybe just double check anything co-pilot tells you. I see. Just to be safe. Just for jokes and giggles next time. Yeah, it's entertainment. This final laser story is out of tuition tavern. Wait, but why is it a tavern? Oh, yeah. Well, the idea of spending four years at college is hundreds of years old, even though technology has made it much more efficient to learn in between getting wasted. Hey. There's a real education, Jeff. There you go. Well, a report in the LA Times just came out and says dozens of universities are adopting three-year bachelor degrees. Oh, that's a bad idea. I did four and a half for mine. How are you speeding this thing up? Did all those stupid entry classes your freshman year? Yeah. I mean, most people are getting them done in high school these days. And it's happening because students save a lot of time and a ton of money by graduating a year early. Also, colleges are using the fast tracks to get more applicants into their schools and reduced dropout rates. So pack it all in together and then they'll spend that extra money on all the mental health therapy that they need to get all that work done. But basically, Alexis, you're kind of right. They strip out the added elective courses from what students had traditionally been required to take. That doesn't work for everything. If you want to be like a doctor or a rocket scientist, you're still going to need the full four years, not to mention all the specialized studying afterwards. Yeah, but if you're a comm major, I mean, do you even need the comm classes? I don't know. You should ask Copilot the answer to that. But there you go. Future of college is getting shorter and coming to a university near you. Yay. As for this guy, he entered college back in 1987. Wow. And he's still trying to finish his degree one chelester at a time. He's so down. That was really good. Alexis, why aren't you laughing? I am inside. Microsoft Copilot gets it. He already graduated. That's fair. That sound means that laser stories has come to an end for the day. We'll do it again. Same time on Wednesday. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhat Show on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire.
