Hey StoryPirates podcast listeners, Lee here! Have you ever seen one of those guys that seem like they work out a lot? Well, today's story is about that kind of guy, and the revenge taken upon him by the inanimate objects that like him the least. Gym equipment. Grownups, guess what? Until our new season debuts, you can get twice as many new stories on your feed by subscribing to StoryPirates Creator Club. Plus, subscribers get the ad-free version of the show, and premium members even get to participate in a quarterly video meetup with Lee and Peter, where we create a brand-new story together for the podcast. But most of all, Creator Club members help us support the cost of the show so we can keep bringing it to you every week. If you're already a Creator Club member, thank you so much! And if you want to join, you can do so by visiting storypirates.com slash creator club, or by subscribing right in Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Today's brand-new story and a special message about the upcoming season coming up after a few more words for the grownups. I'm very different from everybody. My fusion is the step before curiosity. Okay, that's a really funny idea. We have to send that in. I just get some joy when I hear other people giggling. I believe all of the things in that story. Human beings are just able to create. The StoryPirates. Welcome back to the StoryPirates podcast. Did you know that some people actually do go to the gym to work out at midnight? Like when everyone else is asleep? Yeah, it's true. And today's new story is about one such person. Here are the authors to introduce it. Hi, I'm Naomi and I'm 10 years old. And I'm Max and I'm 8 years old. And we're from Canada. This is our story. Access to Workout Science and Revenge of the Gym Equipment. Another successful day here at 1,440 minute fitness. The only fitness gym that's open all 1,440 minutes of the day. Bark! You said it, Rufus. Well, it's 11pm. Time for me to clock out and leave you a normal dog in charge. Bark! Take good care of the gym equipment while I'm gone and watch out for excessive workout guy. Oh? You know, the guy who comes every night at midnight and works out excessively? I'm sure you'll handle it. See you in the morning. Bark! She's gone? At last. The gym equipment and I can talk. Good, because we have to figure out what to do about excessive workout guy. Barbell, is he really that bad? Yes, he always slams me to the ground excessively. Treadmill hates him too. I sure do. He sets my speed way too high. Well, at least he doesn't excessively swing on you. I'm the monkey bars, not the gorilla bars. You think you have it bad? Treadmill and me. A trampoline. Last time he jumped on me so excessively that he almost broke my springs. He's so excessive! Easy now, my poor little springs. Maybe we can steer him away from all of you by keeping him busy on the climbing wall. No way. Did you hear the thud he made when he landed on me? Don't get me started on the excessive climbing up and down. I'll handle it, really slow. Calm down. I swear on my mother's favorite raw high chew. I will handle excessive workout guy. Good, because he's going to show up at the stroke of midnight. Oh no! Hello, empty gym. I'm Bob and I'm here to... Workout. Bark! Hello, silly guard dog. You can't stop me. First, the barbells. Ah. Rufus, he lifted me so suddenly. Help! Did somebody say something? Nah, I'm probably just imagining things. Excessively, back to my reps. Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Ouch! I'm dizzy. Now, the treadmill. Should I set this thing to 100%? Bark! That would be excessive. Which is why I'm going to do it. Hey, this treadmill is making weird noises. I better run faster. Now I run. Alright. Next on the list, the monkey bars. Here I go. My bars. My bars. Stuck the landing. Next, I'm going to jump off the trampoline and onto the climbing wall. Bark! Bark! Bark! And jump! Oh! Whoa! Not going to climb. Up! Down! Up! Down! Up! Down! Down! Wow! Another successful workout for me. Excessive workout guy. And no one's here to stop me. In fact, since no one's here, I can say out loud, my only weakness. Bananas. Bark! That's right dog who lives at the gym. But you can't tell anyone or do anything about it since you're just a silly dog. See you tomorrow. That was awful. Please. We can't go on like this. Didn't you all hear? Excessive workout guy told us his one weakness. What does that mean? It means I have a plan. Excessive workout guy, prepare to meet an excellent source of potassium tomorrow. It's almost midnight and excessive workout guys should be here any minute. Then we will have our revenge. I'm back! Time to work out. First up, the barbell. Bark! He's headed right for barbell, Rufus. Good. Because I put banana all over it. Alright, here I go. Barbell. There's banana on this barbell. Mamma Mia, that hurt. Well, since I didn't get a good barbell workout, I'd better work out extra hard on the treadmill. Nope. I don't like the sound of that. Remember the plan. I think I'll set the treadmill to 100%. Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! What is it dog? Are you trying to tell me there's free protein shake over there? He's not looking. Time to change those settings to banana. Hey, it wasn't a protein shake. Wait a minute, somebody set this treadmill to banana? We hit that yoga ball dead center. Oof, tough landing. Right on the butt. My booty. Well, thanks for nothing treadmill. Moving on, the monkey bars. Up I go. Someone put banana oil all over these monkey bars? That's it. I'm going to the last station, the trampoline and climbing wall combo. And it better not be cursed like the others. It's not working, Rufus. Just wait Barbell, the plan will work. Let's see. No bananas on the trampoline. No bananas on the climbing wall. No bananas anywhere. Just the gym dog. Who's a little puppy wuppie? Whoa, whoa, whoa, gentle, gentle. No need to rage at me. I'll just continue with my excessive workout business. Time to jump on the trampoline. Jump. I am Bob, the excessive workout guy. Springs, time to let go. Here we go. The trampoline is tearing. Yuck. I landed in a banana tar pit. Who would put a banana tar pit under a trampoline? Mark, it was me. You can talk? We all can. We are bringing to the world of A to U 10. What? I put the banana tar there because you have been working out too excessively. And so we were forced to play all these banana pranks on you to teach you not to use gym equipment so aggressively. Okay, that is a lot to process. But if my workout style isn't appreciated here, then I guess I will leave and never come back. You, my friend, have lost yourself a customer. Hooray! That's what we thought. Oh, that was not the reaction I was expecting. I thought you'd all like, apologize. Can you at least help me out of the banana tar pit? No. But maybe the gym owner will help you out when she returns tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning? Good morning, Rufus. I'm back. Mark, Mark! And I'm sure you took great care of the gym and customers. Hey, wait a minute. Is that excessive workout guy over there stuck in a banana tar pit? Somebody help me. Mark! Eh, you probably had your reasons. I sure did. Yeah, you, wait, you kicked the end. We'll be right back after a few words with the girl, Mark. Hey, guess what? Season 8 of the StoryPires podcast is right around the corner. And we need your new stories. So right now is a great time to sit down and finally write that story that you've been thinking about. You know, that one. The one that's so weird, so silly, and so bizarre that it just makes you kind of giggle to yourself when you think about it. Remember, stories can be as short or as long as you want. And though we can't put every story we get onto the podcast, we do respond to every single story we receive. Grownups can submit stories at storypirates.com. We can't wait to read what you've been cooking up. That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening and a big thanks to today's authors, Naomi and Max. We'll be back next week with more brand new stories. Until then, stay creative and stay kind. Bye! The StoryPires podcast is a production of StoryPires Studios. Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller and Lee Overtree. Recording sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Theme song by Bobby Lord. Roll call theme by Andrew Barbada. Musical scoring by Jack Mitchell. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin. Excessive Workout Guy in the Revenge of the Gym Equipment was written by Alexis Simpson and features performances by Alec Brown, Christina Gross Beach, Hallie Haas, Tara Halpern, Nea Maya Marcos, Peter McNerney and Harry Wood. Oh hey, it's me, the opposite of Excessive Workout Guy. Here to work out, I guess. Or I could not work out. Okay, okay, I'll work out a little bit. Here we go. There! I lifted my phone. Hello? Yes, um, yeah, I'd like to order one large pepperoni pizza, please. Uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Thanks!
