‘Basic Instinct’ Live From SF With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Mallory Rubin, and Van Lathan

哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 Last time you heard this song, it was a cocaine threesome in a bathroom followed by some dancing. And now we are here, you horny motherfuckers. Let me introduce the rewatchables cast. First of all, thank you everybody for coming out tonight. This theater is awesome. Thank you. I love that third deck up there. It's great. First off, he's the curator of the White Girl Hall of Fame. He's currently hosting a record 17 different ringer podcast. The next mayor of Los Angeles, Van Lathan. You know her as the mother of dragons. He's a woman who really likes hands and fingers. She's almost definitely going to violate a public obscenity law tonight. Mallory Rubin. He's the five time rewatchables MVP. He's the man who turned March into CR month. He's the author of three books about metals. CR himself, Chris Ryan. And over on the side for the first time ever joining us for a live show, our producer, the guy who's taken over this podcast after I'm found naked and dead like Johnny Bosz, Craig Horvick. Yeah. All right. Did you like that CR? I do. I like the idea also that you're not killed by a beautiful blonde, but by a Lakers fan. Thank you. Let's talk most San Francisco movies ever. Yeah. Wow. CR, we talked about this earlier. I think the necessities are hills, water, shots of the bridge and nice real estate. Anything else? What do you got? I just think that the sky, the light, the fog, there's like a atmospheric element that San Francisco movies tend to bring into play. I mean, you've got some real, we were talking about how hard it is to move anything off of Mount Rushmore for these. Yeah. So we got, we were thinking like movies that actually use the city. And it's really cool doing this, you know, in San Francisco, obviously, movies that make you feel like you're in San Francisco. My four are basic instinct, vertigo, bullet, because of the car chase. And then 48 hours, my favorite movie ever. Van, what else would you put in there? Because I could offer you Mrs. Doubtfire. Yeah. I could offer you The Rock, Pacific Heights, The Game, anything else? What about like Dirty Harry, right? Could offer you Dirty Harry. Dirty Harry was here. Yeah, man. As a matter of fact, I just want to let you guys know they're lying about your city. When I came out here, I expected to see Batman patrolling the streets like fucking gorgeous. Yeah. Honestly, San Francisco is back. We walked from our hotel to the Giants game last night. San Francisco is in great shape. I don't, not listen to the buzz anymore. Philly's lost. Philly's lost. Philly's lost. Mallory. Tough as they are. Mallory, would that do it? Mallory, would that do it? Or not. Yeah. What else do you have for San Francisco? Naturally, you're missing a little bit of a genre presence. No Ant-Man, you know? There you go. You didn't have the MCU on your list. Planet of the Apes. No? Planet of the Apes is a good one. That's good. What's your favorite? I have a similar Mount Rushmore to you, I think. I'd say it's probably Bullet, Zodiac, this movie, Basic Instinct, and Mrs. Doubtfire for me. Craig, you're the only one that grew up here. I grew up in the East Bay, but yes. Wow. All right. So what's the most San Francisco movie ever? For me, growing up, Mrs. Doubtfire for sure. Okay. All right. Well, we have a more important Mount Rushmore, the Roddick's Riller Mount Rushmore, which the unassailable choices are body heat, fatal attraction, basic instinct, and unfaithful. Unfortunately, we have the mother of dragons here to weigh in. Is that the right four? Is there anyone else you could put in? Nine and a half weeks? What else? Well, we've done three of those four together for rewatchables, and now we're doing this one together for the second time. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. That's how three of the five of us got through the first month of COVID, was learning how to podcast remotely, talking about this movie, very normal podcast experience. It was on Zoom three weeks after COVID started. I honestly don't even remember one aspect of what happened. I remember that Chris kept saying, I'll do that if I ever see you guys again in person. Right. Yeah. Right. He was using the pandemic as a shield to make all of these declarations about how he'd start wearing deep V-neck sweaters. Right. And doing cocaine in the bathroom stall at the nightclub. So Van, this movie. Show me the nightclub. You know, at the night's young. This movie jump starts the erotic thriller Skin and Max era, which I guess technically starts with Night Eyes in 1990 with Andrew Stevens. I know you own it on 4K Blu-ray. Yeah, of course. Silk stockings on CBS, no new to Deepa. They're very important. They're the whole deal. That's against it. We have Shane and Tweet and Shane and Warrior about to come into our lives. All of them. What else do you remember from this era? I remember like staying up late, making sure that my parents were asleep. I was by myself having a great time in manual, all the different in manuals. I have it. I have a list later. It's like, yeah, I know I'm not by myself. But you know, Red Shoe Diaries. Yeah. You fucking freak you. Red Shoe. Yeah. All of that stuff. Because what happened was this is prestige freak shit, basic instinct. That's not, I could get to that, right? That was in the movie theater. But then the freak shit that came on later on, you know, that was the stuff that was accessible to me. That's what really made me a man. Sierra and I have had very different experiences with this movie because I saw this movie in college by myself in Worcester, Massachusetts during the day. Wait a second. Yeah. Don't let that slide. Yeah. I saw this movie in college by myself. Yeah. Every, every time after class. Every story he tells from him in college. All right, it was me, House, and Joe King. We were hanging out. But he made the motherfuckers leave. It was a solo. How many empty seats between you and the next guy who was also jerking off throughout the entire movie? Extra butter. I don't remember a lot other than that. There were no couples. And I'm going to say between 16 and 18 guys soloing in different spots in the theater. And it just, the feedback or the stuff that was coming out about this movie. First of all, we knew like the nude scenes were off the chain. We knew Sharon Stone was the lady from Total Recall and some action Jackson movies we liked. And then there was supposedly this, this female frontal thing that you didn't know what it was. So it was a little like the, the shark and Jaws waiting to see what was going to happen. Yeah. But if you didn't know, you were going to get a shark in Jaws. It was just a rumor. And I honestly see our, this movie went way further than I was prepared, but you saw it younger than me because you're younger than me. Yeah. We, we, we were like Dan Orlovsky breaking down tape with this. This is the video stores. There was a lot of missing copies of this. And there was a lot of probably like, you know, manipulating the tracking on your VHS machine. So this was, this is a Hall of Fame rental. How did this help you through puberty? I was thinking about this. Sharon Stone 86 through 92 is like her and Kathy Ireland are the bird and magic of my sexual awakening. Who would you throw in Van? I got list. All right. So, um, at the bottom of the list, all the ladies from the various Emmanuel movies, Emmanuel, Queen of the Desert, Emmanuel in space, Black Emmanuel, Emmanuel in Bangkok. They had a manual for every fucking flavor that you needed. All right. Number four, Sharon Stone and the basic instinct. Yeah. Number three, Robin Givens in a rage in Harlem. Number two, Janet Jackson in the pleasure pinchable video. Come on, man. Number one, Pam Grier, Foxy Brown. My mom, that's what I'm talking about. My mom actually made me get into Pam Grier and Foxy Brown. My mother suggested I watch that. You know why? Because of basic instinct. Yeah. My mom thought that she was going to lose me to the white women. So she's like, thought she was raised in Cupid Dilly, Jr. And she goes, you ever seen Foxy Brown? Because she knew those could be back to the black side of the situation. Shout out to mama. Mission accomplished. Well, we have a rewatchable award named after a character in this movie, the Catherine Tramiel. Would you throw your life away for this obvious stay away word? CR, if someone said to you, I'm writing a book about a podcast who falls in love with the wrong woman. And it was Sharon Stone in this movie. Are you just like, I'm going to be dead in four weeks? I mean, it's less than four weeks. I think that this movie actually has multiple candidates for this, though. Like watching it this time around, I would toss it all the way for Beth. I mean, that's. Yeah. What about Roxy? Beautiful lady, but also free therapist, you know, right? And Roxy. Yeah. And Roxy, of course. It's easily Roxy, man. So I was going to talk about this later because we got to get into Sharon Stone. But Roxy just comes and goes. She's in this movie and she's the cop stripper in Days of Thunder. Never seen again. You look at her IMDB, it's like she she just I don't know what happened. But if you just saw this movie, you would have thought she was going to be as big of a star as Sharon Stone or at least close. No, at least for me. If you saw this movie now, you definitely would think that's a person who's going to be responsible for generating a lot of memes. Yeah, which is powerful in its own way. But Sharon Stone, you watch this movie and you're like, this is the most powerful force of nature, like a hurricane in human form. That's not exactly what Roxy is giving. She's giving Roxy provoke different emotions. To dance floor. You know, I never went for the Sharon Stone types. In you mean the Catherine Tremel types? Well, just Sharon Stone. No, what I mean is that like you go to the club with your boys. I'm going to buckle up and everyone goes, yo, we got to have this girl. I would always look at her friend. I'd be like, her friend is the one that's not getting any attention. She's looking at her friend on a dance floor. She's pissed off. She's like, look at all the motherfuckers looking at her. I wish I was her. And then I come over and I validate her. I go, girl, you are her. That's Roxy. Somebody just needed to validate her. A quote in this movie about the Sharon Stone character, Mallory. I love it. She's got a hundred million bucks. She fucks fighters and rock and roll stars, and she's got a degree in screwing with people's heads. And that's not the craziest thing said about her during this movie. No, or the craziest thing that she says. I mean, the quotes in this movie are astonishing. One of the wonderful colleagues, Elizabeth, live events head, that rock star, our own rock star, hasn't seen this movie. We were backstage with her and I was thinking, wouldn't it be fun if we did like a, is this a real quote from this movie game with her? Right. Because like you could break out, have you ever fucked on cocaine, Nick? It's nice. And then you could break out. There's come. Oh, really? She's right. And you would get like 45 lines. That's not how he says it. Oh, over. There's no way before you got off. Impressive. They haven't been a fun game show. We could have gone 150 lines deep before we even had to put the first fake quote in there. It's amazing. Elizabeth does the live shows for us and she always watches the movie and the flight to the location. And we were like, no. Yeah, no. Not this time. You need a privacy screen. Please, though. Yeah. Who is like what actress now, then would be the Sharon Stone that you would cast in this movie? Interesting question. Because this does feel generational, right? Like we go through because there was a Kathleen Turner face where she would have been in it. So this movie came out at a different time. OK, we have penises now. This movie came out when we had dicks. Yeah. Completely different. We didn't have to pretend like it was something nice about what was happening. It was aggressive. It was primal. Now I'm trying to think who could bring that energy? Who could like who could do that and like not give a fuck? You know, not care. Maybe like Margaret Quali. Maybe she's a little bit like that. You know, I don't know. It's different now because if you make the movie now, everyone's going to be so self aware of everything that's happening. This movie kind of like careens through its plot with reckless abandon. And it doesn't really care what anyone thinks about it. It would be difficult to like cast somebody in that role and have them just be completely free. I know we like always end up picking the same person, but is it not Sidney Sweeney? Is it not? I mean, obviously she could pull it off. I think so. Wow, here's the difference. Sidney Sweeney. Here here's the difference that was Sharon Stone and why this movie was so important or she had popped in stuff, but we didn't really have a history with her. She was sure, too. She was like she had been in a bunch of stuff. She was an action Jackson. Yeah. And I remember like she was in a reconcilable differences, which is a great divorce movie, which is not available anywhere. But she was in that in 1982 and for 10 years was just bouncing around. What was the Alan Corman? Steven Seagal. Yeah, she was in a Seagal movie and just Total Recall was probably the biggest movie that she was in. Right. She's great in that. So this was kind of her moment. I don't know who that actress is now. The point the point is, is that like at this junction in her career, she was hungry enough to do a movie like this and not hold anything back. So if we talk about actresses there in that situation now, we're going to talk about more established actresses, but like this is like a controversial role. You have to really go a lot of places that, you know, could end up really being combustible for your career like it was for Elizabeth Berkeley and showgirls or it could make you like it did for Sharon Stone and basically. So they get Michael Douglas for $14 million for this movie and then he gets kind of semi-approval for who the female star is going to be. Sharon Stone was the 13th choice. She made $500,000, which was less than $14 million. In part though, because of what you're just saying, right? Like he really wanted somebody who was equally famous and renowned to kind of, they were anticipating that it would be controversial. He wanted Kim Basinger, right? Yeah, he was like, I need somebody who's going to be able to shoulder the load of the blowback. And I do love her like, you can see it now when you... Plenty of blowback in the movie. When you go on and read about like it's released now, she's such a wild card because she's kind of like, I have nothing to lose. So she's saying crazy shit in the interviews. And she was, you know, her vibe is not like, I'm a well established star. I know exactly what I'm doing. She's kind of like, I'm blowing this pot stand before I get out of here. Well, they offered it to Michelle Pfeiffer, who said no. And thank God, because I think that might have actually killed me. She was in this movie. I'd be dead. I don't know who's hosting this. It wouldn't be me. It would be somebody else. Sierra, Sharon Stone not nominated for an Oscar for this movie. Yeah, I'm sorry, Bill. I'll give you the nominees. Please do. Okay. Emma Thompson wins for Howard's End. Catherine Deneuve for Indochine. Is that how you say it? Imogene? Sure. Mary McDonald for Passion Fish. Michelle Pfeiffer for Lovefield. And Susan Sarandon for Lorenzo's Oil. Interesting. I think we could have snuck Sharon in there, guys. I don't know. Like, who else could have done that? The movie made $356 million. This is a useful place to ask this. Do you take this movie seriously? I don't. Yeah. I, yeah. I think it's a great time. My wife hates it because I love Thorna. It's, you've said this a million times. It's a vibes movie. It is a vibes movie, for sure. Yeah. I like being in San Francisco. I like watching them smoke. I like the nightclub scene. Yeah. I like Michael Douglas, who we're going to get to in a second. It's in the running for funniest performance of the 90s. It's amazing. It's a story. She doesn't know it's funny, but everyone else knows it's hilarious. And it's just a fun movie to hang out with. This run of Paul Verhoeven movies works because even Paul Verhoeven is like, we need to make this funny movie incredibly seriously. Right. Starship Troopers is kind of the same thing. I think they all know they're in this insane movie about us. I don't think Douglas does. What's that? I don't think Michael Douglas knows that this is funny. I think Michael Douglas knows. I think he's like, for me, this to work, I have to 100% commit. But if you read that script, you're like, this is bullshit and it's hilarious. He's 47 when he makes the movie. Wow, I still got time. Wow. Yeah. Boy. Probably should have been a younger actor would be my take. Come on, man. No. Are you talking about you say no on that? Well, first of all, I like sort of age differences, you know, you know, among consenting adults. But I think there's something about Nick being in like a midlife crisis. It's actually pretty important. He's had a marriage. His wife killed herself. He has committed four shootings in five years. He has to have the runway to live that much. Yeah. You know, yeah. Yeah. You can't have like a 25 year old whipper snapper on the force. It needs somebody with some red near ledger in the. Yeah. Here's the thing. He is one of the biggest movie stars who throughout his career routinely takes a chance with the way the audience sees him and is like, I don't mind playing the hero who's a piece of shit. And he, no, he's like not. He's the main star of Wall Street. You know, he is does these things where he's like, I'll push my boat out and make sure we people have a really provocative experience. When you say like how the audience sees him, do you mean specifically him walking toward a bathroom with his shirt on? Yeah. Swinging under his ass. Yeah. OK. Yes. And like consider the time, right? So you're in a male Gibson, Kevin Costner, which we're going to talk a little bit about that later time where all of those guys are kind of competing to be the all American movie star. And really his lane is being the freak. He's a freaking freak. The young freak. This closure. He's a freak in this. He's a fucking freak and fatal attraction. His mother fuckers a freak. And no one else really wants to do it. He'll do it. He's great at it. And he kind of makes his career at least the second half of it on that. We've he's been in a lot of rewatched most movies. He's not anyone's favorite actor, but he's been in a ton of everybody's favorite movies. Weird to meet a Michael Douglas super fan. Yes. This is my guy. Me and Mike. But I mean, my site, MikeyDougVan.com. From 84 on, he rips off from Mids in the Stone, Jewel of the Nile, chorus line, fatal attraction, Wall Street, Winsley Oscar, Black Rain, War of the Roses, basic instinct, falling down, disclosure, American president, ghost in the darkness, the game, perfect murder, Wonder Boys traffic. You fucking mess fucking crazy nuts. That is that's amazing work. And what's the producer? Yeah, American president is the weird movie in that group. Yeah, right. I keep waiting for the American president to be like jerking off under the resolute desk, but he's like, no, I'm just a really good guy. It's in the it's on the extended Blu-ray. Yeah, director's cut. Craig, you're you're younger than us. What's your relationship with Michael Douglas? Just what just wandering into this after the fact? I don't even think I have one. I don't know what to go to. Michael Douglas role. I when I asked my wife, Liz, I'm like, what's your opinion on Michael Douglas? Like, did you ever think he was hot? And she's like, honestly, no, he just kind of creep. She was Michael Douglas ever like a top three love interest in Hollywood? Man, let me tell you something. Yeah. I was what's saying. My mom used to look at fatal attraction and be like, mm, mm. I see what she was going on about. Look at that. Harrison Ford, Dark Side Harrison Ford. No way. No, because Harrison Ford is God, Tiaran. You can't say anyone is any version of him. I asked the wrong person. Yeah, get the fuck out of here. Well, what are you thinking? What's wrong with you? But Harrison Ford, Costner, Douglas, gear, those were the men who my mom was like obsessed with and loved. And Michael Douglas was the one who didn't quite catch for me in terms of being like sexually obsessed with him, though I will tell you guys that when I booted up this movie to prepare to rewatch it to prepare for this live show, you know, there's a pretty famous moment in this movie that I think a lot of people pause on. Right. You might. Well, it'll come up tonight, I think. I had paused at a different moment. I booted up the director's cut and it was at one hour, 11 minutes and 43 seconds, which is the sidecock shot during the fuck of the century scene. So I guess that was where I had just checked in, booted it up at some point, taken a look, paused it, left and there it was waiting for me. Do you think that was in between? I was watching it with my husband and he's like, that seems right. Yeah, probably. Yeah. I mean, it was six years ago, the last rewatchables. I've definitely looked at that since no question. I thought we were going to do sidecocks later. Well, we can we can we can come back to them. Don't worry. One thing about Douglas, because he was also a producer. Yeah. Really good timing on when to jump in on a movie that's kind of parallel, parallel in whatever's happening in real life. Like even you go back to China Syndrome, which he's in, which was like right when everyone's afraid of nuclear war in the late seventies. Wall Street is the greed is good. Basic instinct, big fear of AIDS early nineties. And he one of the in the research, one of the things he really wanted to do with this movie was push the envelope sexually the other way in movies. And then disclosure was another one with workplace. Sure. We're asking him, but he just over and over again had really good taste. Sure. That's one way of putting it. Yeah. A framing. Mallory saw what was the documentary you saw with the storyboarding? Oh, yeah. There's a bonus feature at called, I believe, Blonde Poison. Yeah. Blonde Poison, the making of basic instinct, which is about 30ish minutes. A good chunk of it at the end is about actually the protests of the film. Yeah. LGBT groups. And I would say the first like 15 to 18 minutes before that are largely Paul Verhoeven, the director, the director talking about how he just insisted very clearly that everybody understood that they had to be naked in the movie and that they had to follow the exact game plan for the sex scenes because he had diagrammed them very precisely and then intercut with his commentary. Hold up one for you guys. Yeah. Paul Verhoeven's work right there. Pretty special. Pretty special. Yeah. So he storyboarded the entire thing. Yeah. They spent five days filming Fuck of the Century. Five. Yeah. Because he was so concerned that they were going to make him cut stuff and make it an X rating or whatever. He wanted to be covered in every way, shape, or form. Yeah. And they filmed for five days, 10 hours a day. A 90 second sex scene. Oh, if you're watching the director's cut, it's a little longer. Yeah. And also Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone apparently were not like super close during the making of this, which makes it all the more interesting. What way? Well, I mean, I think that there wasn't a lot of coffee corner like just chit chat about like he didn't want it to be in a movie. Was that? Yeah. Yeah. Like they had gone through a bunch of people and he was concerned because he's making this movie where he's got to play a killer, coca-dictic cop. And he wanted a A-list actress to share that burden with him and get it over the finish line. And all of them looked at the script was like, you fucking crazy. I'm not doing this. And so then like they got Sharon Stone, but he was a little bit trepidatious about it. Then I hesitate to ask you this. If you were filming with Sharon Stone for five straight days for 10 hours a day, just with small, general pads on, how would that go by like Wednesday? I mean, well, I always wanted this because like first of all, you have to respond and say the genital pad wouldn't be small. He set you up there. You have to come in and say that. But they were also not wearing genital pads. They are famously completely naked filming this. Oh, so they're naked filming. I thought they did have. No, also. Are you sure? Are you sure? Watch this feature ad. Here's a quote from the director of this movie. I wanted to really see oral sex. I wanted to see how he sucks her tits. I wanted to see all that. Thank you, everybody. You're welcome. I don't know how they do it. I guess that's why they act for a living. By the way, none of us have seen this behind the scenes, and I'm not entirely sure she's not like making this up. Yeah, because I looked for it online and I was like, huh, block poison. I can't find this. I'll send it to you. Yeah, please do. Just like I said, I said the storyboard pictures. Yeah, the weird thing is also there's like stories that the actor sold that Verhoeven was like he would be like, OK, here's here's what we're going to do. Here's the blocking and then they would show up day of and he would like, psych cure all my new storyboards and he would be like calling hot routes on Jean Triple Horn. Like I don't know. I tend to believe her, but yeah. Verhoeven Robocop Total Recall, Basic and Stake Starship Troopers. What a go for the many. Just a pervy Dutch guy. I think would be the best way to describe him. Love pushing the envelope. Love to put stuff in there, kind of making fun of Americans. And we didn't realize it as we love the movies and didn't realize he was flipping it on us. What's his what's his apex mountain for movies? See, I think in retrospect, it's Starship Troopers. Yeah, I think so. In some ways. Really? I think that has like a better reputation than basic instinct. Interesting. What do you think, Ben? I think it's easily basic instinct. I think it's not even close. I think Starship Troopers has he has his ability to elevate, I guess, what people would consider to be like trash or really accessible kind of stories. But basic instinct was a cultural phenomenon. It was a movie that like legitimately my mom and them went to see it and they came back. And I was like, girl, was it just happened with that ice pick? What's going on? Like it was a movie that you absolutely had to talk about. And really, as much as failed attraction got this genre started in a in a definitely way. Yeah, this kind of solidified the genre as a moneymaker and as something that could like be star making for Sharon Stone. Like you would approach these movies differently after basic instinct because you know that doing one and taking the risk and taking the chances in like putting yourself out there on film like that could end up in making you a star, which is what this movie did for Sharon Stone. So she did all of this stuff and then it paid off. So I think this is probably his magnum opus, in my opinion. I also think it's fair to say that there weren't really characters like this until this movie, like these kind of powerful female in control of the relationship. Like this Susan B. Anthony over here. This became something that a lot of movies tried to do. But I don't know who tried to do it before this movie. I can't really think of one. Can you see her? A femme fatale like this? No, I mean, like not this explicitly in this violently because like body heat did it right? Sure. That was 10 years earlier. And there's some other ones over the years. But I think this jump started then. What was interesting about this movie is all the ripoff, terrible movies that tried to. Yes. You know, like Jane's color night participated. Yeah. Yeah. Sliver. I've seen them all. I know Van has them all in Blu-ray. This movie had people protesting various parts of it. Like they couldn't even decide what to protest. Sharon Stone hosted SNL in April 92 and six people disrupted that and actually disrupted the monologue and they had to like change it. But people are pretty pissed off for a variety of reasons about this movie. Joe Esther House was the writer. Three million dollars got for the script. There was a bidding war from Carol Co. Productions who if anyone has ever listened to rewatchables, probably our favorite production company, more or less. The Lones, Segal, Harnes, Schwarz, Thanger, classics, base against the. Funding from crates, notting, happily over there. Lot of cocaine. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Esther Haas is basically in a competition with Shane Black, who we just talked about on Nice Guys. He these two are like basically trading back and forth the like all time richest screenplay deal for like five years. Right. And then Esther House gets mad because Verhoeven's putting all this extra stuff in the movie ends up walking off the set. Forty nine, forty nine million dollar budget made three hundred and fifty three million the fourth highest grossing movie of 1992. Would be eight hundred million today. This would be Project Hail Mary today. Amaze, amaze, amaze. For aggressive, R rated erotic. Well, so this is an interesting topic. Would could this happen anymore? Do people want to be in a movie theater watching people fuck like this? No, because of Craig's generation. No, no, no. Don't put that on me. I can't remember what movie we were doing. And this was the time, you know, after Craig said that he would use somebody in the heart and that changed my opinion of him forever. But we were watching a movie and Craig said, they were just titties in the movie for no reason. And I was thinking to myself, how much fucking distance is it between me and Craig? Whenever it shows up, I am happy to meet them. I agree. And Craig was uncomfortable with it. Thank you. Well, and now two hundred movies later, I'm like bummed when there's no nudity to move on. And we've told you. Come on. Film score got an Oscar nomination. Jerry Goldsmith. Yanda Bant worked in the cameras. Yanda Bant. Yeah, little Yon, couple years for speed. Um, Craig, one hundred and twelve minutes plus twenty two on the Horlbecks. Craig thinks every movie should be 90 minutes. Twenty two over par. Yeah. But you can kind of skip right to the sex scenes now. It doesn't really matter how long it is, you know, everything's everything's clipified now, you know. Yeah, that second half of the movie probably could be tightened, I would say. Also, the last 25 minutes of this movie, you're like, what the fuck is that? It turns into a who done it. By the way, the movie would have been longer if shooter could last. Shooter has a premature ejaculation problem. Oh, yeah. Here comes nine minute van. When and at minimum. Do we know minimum? Do we know he had a premature? Was it just edited that way? Thank God we have Ballard. I've been like, hey, yo, on God, like for real, for real, for real. Like, give me at least two extra minutes so people know how I move on here. And this motherfucker, you know what I'm saying? I can't have people thinking that the credits going to roll. I'm gonna be popping before us. You know what I'm saying? The best scene, unfortunate in many respects, including this one, very quick. But the Catherine scenes, I don't know. I think like we see her orgasm so many different times, including from the single most memorable part of the movie, which is him going down on her, maintaining eye contact the entire time and going cross-eyed. Like he's trying to like identify a unicorn and a magic eye. I'm just like, when we do these, I never, ever, ever want to have sex again. Like every time we do like a Muppet version of someone going down at something, it just kills me. But then he's on top of the back scratch that she's on top, right? So we're going through some pretty protracted sequences there. Like you sit down on her like, girl, you think I wouldn't go and do this, did you? I know. He was really impressed with himself. Yeah, he was. Yeah. And then he watched his own blowjob in the mirror. Where are you guys on bedroom ceiling mirrors? What part of the podcast is this? What do you think? I always like see myself and like, yo, Niggie, you need to work out. Like we had gone to the islands and my titties laid to the side. Yeah. It was one of during the MTV Cribs era. It was one of those when somebody had the bedroom mirror. You really knew some freak shit was going down. It was always a red flag. Or they wanted you to think that. Yeah. It was one or the other. It was definitely a statement. Speaking of statements, Roger Ebert. Yeah. Two stars. What a mess. Yeah, I can't do Raj, man. Yes, he said the film is like a crossword puzzle that keeps your interest until you solve it. And then it's just a worthless scrap with the spaces filled in. I don't want to give him a fuck you, Raj, but I'm going to give him like a borderline fuck you, Raj. Just a whiff. I don't like that. Two and a half. Give it two and a half. Come on. I'm surprised he didn't give it a two and a half. Like two is like this is a very well made movie. But if you think it's absolute, I think he was just really upset by the ending mainly. I think he kind of liked it. But he was upset about the ice pick at the end. He just knocked the star off at the end. The reason why the review surprises me is because the movie takes itself very seriously and it's well made, well acted and well crafted. There's some really insanely well crafted scenes here. It's not throwing anything away. So you would think that he would respect the craftsmanship a little bit more than like what he did. It's a pretty like critically derided film. It is. I mean, a lot of the reviews are bad. It's adored by the public, right? But it's not like everybody. It's not like Raj was on an island with that. No, it's tough. Like there's like Sharon Stone talks about like thinking like I've made like I've done it. I made double indemnity. People are going to love this. Well, wait till she hears this podcast. Then she's going to know that's true. This episode is brought to you by Zipper Cruder. If I had to pick the greatest movie of my lifetime, I was born in 1969, Man on Mold. I think the greatest movie is The Godfather. For all the great actors that were in it, that they caught at various stages of their career, Brando, Al Pacino, James Cahn, Robert DeBall, Ed Coppola, who had, you know, it was not really on the map yet. You have this famous, famous book and they somehow pull all of it off. And the big thing is that movie just infiltrates pop culture. From the day it comes out in 1972, all the way through to now and all these different ways. And that is why I think it's the greatest movie of my lifetime. 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Meet your match on Zipper Cruder. Well, so for the rewatchables, if you haven't heard any of the pods we've done, we do categories to break down the movie. First category is most rewatchable scene. We'll give you some runner up nominees. Incredible opening murder scene right into the police showing up and dialogue that goes, there's cum stands all over the sheets. So let's talk about it now. I would love to. Yeah. Johnny Bosch is just that night. No maid. No, there is a maid. This is part of what I have to send unanswered questions. Rotund maid. They even pointed out she's 54 and 240. And so they say she couldn't be the murderer, which is pretty fucked up. Honestly, not the only fucked up thing in the movie. But because they blew like this and it's it looks like a Sunday. It looks like is everyone tracking Artemis right now? The NASA photos. Bosses sheets under the black light look like the face of the moon that NASA is currently showing us. Splattered craters everywhere. So he either is Mount Vesuvius right one night only, or he's never. Why is bedroom is a no go zone for the main? And those sheets have not been changed in weeks. Yes. I think that's that. Yeah. So do you have a theory? I bet you do. On that and the sheets with the no maid or just is it one night? Was it by the name of Peter North, who? Throughout the course of his career was able to set records. And if you guys don't know who he is, you'll be amazed. And so when I think of this movie, I think about talent, not necessarily about like function. So it wasn't the fact that he was doing it a lot. It was like when he was doing it, talking about fucking firehose. So my question is, if you're getting stabbed to death with a nice pick as you're coming, yeah, is that like a triple come shot? Sorry to be crude, but that's if the maid's not coming, that has to be the only other explanation. I just don't think the the human body contains that much ejaculate at one period of time, whether or not your weight though, Sharon Stone, throwing on top of you and you're stabbed 31 times with a nice pick. Not to get too graphic here, but like, is it? I think it's fine. Go ahead. Is it Johnny Boss inside Catherine Tramiel? Yes. Yes. Why is there semen everywhere? I think the idea also is they have done it multiple times that night. That this is like it's Johnny Boss's fuck of the century. You know, cocaine on the penis. So anyone second guessing their decision to come tonight or? I'm having a great time. I think you guys knew what you were coming for. The woman in the opening scene, by the way, was Sharon Stone. It didn't seem like because they have her hair covered. But it is her and and Verhoeven seems like she's in a wig. They put in a blonde wig, I think, to make you think it could be. Somebody else. Yeah. Yeah, there's some pretty clear indicators. But, Sierra, would you want to go this way? If like you could pick ten different ways to die with the Johnny Boss being the top three? I would be I would be so thrilled to find out what the other ones would be. That would be the time. Yeah. OK. This is like the Tyrion Lannister, you know, how he's always saying he wants to go with a belly full of wine and some lips around his cock like Johnny Boss. Another quote from this scene. He got off before he got off. Yeah. That's where you know you're in the right hands. Next scene, the first visit to Sharon Stone's house. Incredible. Catherine Tramiel. We get a great, great Bay Area drive. Amazing house. Gorgeous. Fantastic. I'm going to give this to Denethaves, Benihana, where she's still in locations. You are unless you want to jump. This is the nightclub. Yeah. Really nice. Good deck. And great deck. And great deck. Great deck. Yeah. Insane. Great landscaping. Yeah. Gearthy deck. Catherine comes in. Catherine Tramiel comes in, throwing 120 miles an hour right away. No, I wasn't dating him. I was fucking him. Man. What are you a pro? I'm an amateur. I wasn't in the mood last night. Are you sorry he's dead? Yeah, I like fucking him. Incredible. He's just throwing him off left and right. Bill's talking his way. Doesn't seem that upset, now. Well, she's that's part of the appeal of Catherine as a character is she is so utterly in command and assured. And there's something disarming and terrifying about it, but also something so appealing. So like the whole movie, the the thriller, the the erotic thriller aspect is a cat and mouse chase where like the mouse wants to be caught so that he can fuck Catherine. Right. And you have to understand that like immediately, which you do. Then we have another rewatchable scene, the second house visit to the car ride, which includes her changing. That's how we know she's not wearing underwear. They're in the car. I don't smoke. Yes, you do. I quit. Congratulations. All of a sudden she has cigarettes. What's your new book about a detective? He falls for the wrong women. What happens? He kills her. Yeah. Douglas is like, I'm fucking in. This is I am all the way in. Good shot of what part of San Francisco are we in there? Well, they were driving up to Stinson, but the house in real life was in Carmel, but they're driving up to Stinson Beach, which shouts out Scott and Natalia got married in Stinson Beach. They're here somewhere. There they are. Next scene is the police room scene. Yeah. I think the most famous scenes of the 90s. And we also have Newman from Seinfeld, the Nettie Harris from Major League in there. I'm sure they'll the fact away, which I don't know if it's true that Spielberg hired him off of this is unreal. That was Steven Spielberg's takeaway from the scene. Jurassic Park. I got that guy. Right. What are you going to do? A recipe for smoking. Good luck. Johnny liked to use his hands too much. I like hands and fingers. Another quote. Yeah. Have you ever fucked on cocaine, Nick? It's nice. Iconic. It's not how she says it. She's funny if she did. She's like, it's nice. And then a borat for a second. Yeah, I think that was that. Borat basically. It's my wife. My wife. He's dead. And then we get the leg cross, which became. I got highly controversial. The most famous moment of the 90s in a movie. I'm trying to think what's bigger. What's your migs from Silas? Is that like 80s? Biggest Holy shit moment. So I was like, I remember my dad, rest in peace, dad. Dad was like. Boy. Go back a couple of seconds. No. I honestly think and when I watched it, I caught out. I've never looked. This is one of the. This is one of the most well written scenes of the 90s. So when you think about the movie, right? The movie is about basic. The movie you guys think I'm about to be freaky. I'm about to be like, OK, can let me cook for a second. The movie basic instinct. It's about primal urges, right? Things that you cannot control. Yeah. But the movie only works if you understand how dangerous the Catherine is. Yes. And how much he can't resist her. So that scene is in conflict because that scene has to establish how dangerous she is. But it also can't betray the fact that we see how dangerous she is. All of these police officers see how dangerous she is. And he still has to be primarily drawn to her. So she has to go there and be smarter than everybody in the room. By the way, so does the audience. Exactly. Right. Yeah. Exactly. For us as well. She has to go there and be smarter than everybody in the room. But if she is smarter than everybody in the room, it breaks the deal with the audience because then you go, well, we know that she's the murderer. Right. We know that she's gaming them. Why would he still want her? Then she lets that thing out. Yeah. And let me tell you something right now. To all the ladies in the audience, if you want to end the argument or the speculation, let that thing out. If you let that thing out, you win. All right. Stop playing the game. I want to play MLB. Let that thing out. You lost the game. OK. And so when that happens, that re-injects this primal urge into the scene. And it completely wipes his mind and our mind and everybody else. He got to go get that thing. And Newman violated some HR laws, I think. Newman's like. Well, I was going to hit this in unanswerable questions, but he's not in the movie after that. It's like, did seeing Catherine's vagina kill him? Yeah, he had a fucking heart attack. Did the S-60A drop fucking dead in the bathroom stall, cranking one out 10 minutes after that? Everyone else is looking at the lie detector and is like, you can beat the machine. No, you can't beat the machine. And Newman is dropping dead after having seen Catherine flash it. He's not in the director's cut. He makes an early impression. And that's it. I think Dan's point is really important, because there are five dudes in that interrogation for no reason other than that every. She's like, they're all wrapped, right? And so the fact that the trick of that, in addition to the very obvious one, is that she is in command and there in her power, even though she is so clearly should be the one who's like, what is happening here? Even the way that scene is lit, the way it's staged, that doesn't look like an interrogation room at all, right? It looks like she's on display at a gallery. So there was controversy about that scene that we should mention. She said it was filmed without her knowledge, and it turned into a he said, she said that. I forget what year. In her memoir, Sharon Stone says that they asked her to take her underwear off because it was affecting the lighting. Which I mean, what? She saw a cut, and her and her lawyer, Marty Singer, were going to basically stop the movie from coming out. They were going to, and then she just, but then she was like, you know what? Like I signed up for it, that is me. And she decided to do it, but not without reservations. And then it wasn't in the script either. And Verhoeven, pervy Dutch guy, remembered something similar happening when he was in college and decided to weave it in. Anyway. Cool college story. Yes. Record scratch. Quick one. I was in college, and she took that thing out. And I stopped playing MLB the show. I stopped playing FIFA. And that is the end of the argument. Thing out. Child, ladies. Banned down with the Dutch. The car chase is really good. Just wanted to mention that. Really good. She kind of dusts them in the car chase. Come on, shoot her. She was in a Porsche or something like that. A Lotus. A Lotus. Nick stops by Catherine's place, and she uses the ice pick. And does the how much coke she do, Nick? You're going to make a terrific character. She's making out with rocks in front of her. And that seems good. The Catherine. And all the papers are there, right? So he starts to realize in that sequence like how much she knows about him, how she's studying him. Yeah. And then she stops by Nick's place. She does the ice pick thing for him. Shoot her. Now he's smoking cigs. You know the wheels are coming off. He's drinking. He's ordering doubles at the bar. He's smoking. And now we're going to my favorite scene. Nick goes to the nightclub. We get the song we played earlier, Blue by, what was that band? LaTour. LaTour. LaTour. Yeah. LaTour. Nick's the oldest guy in the club by, I'm going to say, 16 years. And he's wearing a V-neck shirt that his aunt gave him for Christmas in 1985. He's like, I'll wear this. I haven't worn this yet. And goes into the bathroom, which is, has anyone ever been in a bathroom like this? There's 50 people in the bathroom. They're all doing cocaine. They're playing like cards. I don't know what bathroom is this. Most of the characters on industry. We were talking about this last night. This is like a regular third episode of a season of industry. I know. Van is fucking quiet right now. I'll just tell you. So Van, you, what happened? OK. Roxy is throwing, I think, 130 miles an hour in this scene. The catcher's mitt actually breaks. She breaks the mitt. And Douglas is, again, I'll put this against Jim Carrey and Dumb and Dumber. I'll put this against Mike Byersen. So I married an expert. Name a funny movie. Nothing's funnier than Douglas in this scene. Trying to be sexy. I'm not too old to be here. Dance guy. The only thing that could have been funnier is if he danced. But he makes the choice to be like, what would this guy do with this club seeing all this shit? This is like every primal instinct coming out. And he's just like, I would just stand there. So you're watching, you're like, this has to be the unintentionally funniest thing that's going to happen with Michael Douglas in this movie. Think again. Because we go to the sex scene. Where he also gets up after and wins the William Peterson honestly dude. I'm not sure we needed to see your balls award. Does it twice? Does the walk talks to Roxy? Let me ask you something, Roxy. Man to man. Then he does the pivot and does another walk. He's like, did you see my balls to run butt crack? Yeah, I did. Here they are good. Yeah. He's just feeling it. And the side dick before that. So this is what happens when you've made 10 straight years of $100 billion movies. You just start walking around in the bathroom. This is just the tour de force. Anything to add now before we move on? I think this is a very important scene. We've talked about the side dick, the oral sex face, watching the blowjob in the mirror. I think the fact that in terms of just actually the clues, not that you're really thinking about the clues, but it is like beat for beat. Parallel to what we saw in the boss scene. So you're very titillated by what you're seeing, but you're like, is he going to get stabbed by an ice pick? And even the folds of the bedding. It's really a new one. Yeah, the headboard has the slats so that she can tie him up, breaks out the air maze or hermes, as it is called in this film, astonishing stuff, scarf out and ties him up. It's just start to finish pretty incredible. The way that you're doing it is you're going to finish pretty incredible. The tearing of the back flesh. I think that these are some of the most guttural orgasm sounds ever committed to the public record on film. And when I was younger watching this for the first time, I was like, it reminds me of how I think people today read like fourth wing or court of thorns and roses, and they're like, I'm taking notes. OK, this is how you could do something to lead to a 27-page chapter about going down on your girlfriend on a throne. Got it. OK, people were watching this studying it. And trying to learn, not you. The girlfriend is also like a dragon fairy, right? Yeah, well, there are fairies in court of thorns and roses. I can tell you've read them, dragon riders and fourth wing. And then you watch this now as a middle-aged person. And the angling of the back, I'm like, is she about to turn into Nagini? I just worry about everybody's pain. I see them looking into the mirror up top. I'm like, if I had that now, I would just say, are my hips properly aligned so that I'm not going to wake up with lower back pain? It's a very different relationship as you age. It's an amazing athletic performance. It is. Yeah. It is. It is. Yeah, I don't know what his dick looks like the next day, but it's not going straight. It's definitely a couple turns. For sure. I have two more scenes. Nick goes to see Catherine the next day, and she kind of deflates the balloon a little bit. Roxy didn't know what she was in for. Oh, she's seen me fuck other guys. Just sticking it to him. I told her I thought it was the fuck of the century. I thought it was a good beginning. Nick came in at bits like he was the man. Yeah. I thought it was the fuck of the century. Is he still wearing the sweater or did he change? I can't remember if he wears the sweater or the next film. He's the bomber. He's the bomber. All of a sudden, he's become Danny Zuko. He went from being like a regular cop to not he's the coolest motherfucker in the world. She's like, yo, dawg, pump the bricks. I used to fuck a boxer. Like, you know what I mean? It was like, get the fuck out of here. And then just the ending with the twists where you think she's going to kill him. I think those are all the rewatchable scenes. What do you got, Ciara? What's your most rewatchable? Nightclub 100 out of 100. I mean, the sex scene's cool, but the nightclub has so much going on. I love that the drug dealer gets to dance with them, that he's like, yeah, you know, like, here's some coke. Can I join? And you're like, hey, that black guy is in every 90s movie. For some reason, they got a nigga with a flat top and a vest, no shirt, who knows all the choreography to everything. That guy comes back. Glenn Plummer plays that guy in Showgirls. He comes back. He's dancing with a random white girl. He's. Yeah. Yeah. I'm telling you, that guy, I never saw him in Baton Rouge. So we all have the nightclub scene, or what do you have now? I think it's fuck of the century. I've, across the course of my life, diagram that like I'm scoring a baseball game. Yeah. Like, it's got to be that. So we're not going to bring up. Nobody's picking the interrogation scene. Wow. Nobody. Mine's interrogation scene, but like also, but like the triple horn scene, right, which is obviously a very, I mean, come on, man. It's a controversial scene. It's problematic. Yeah. It's a very problematic scene, but like he runs. That's the first time we really see them together. Yeah. And it's like very, it shows that legitimately the moment that he meets Catherine, his character changes immediately. Right. He becomes like once again, more primal, like more driven by whatever this thing is in his body that he can't control. What's the most 1992 thing about this movie? What do you have here? That's got Bart Simpson on the G-Chain. Yeah. Yeah. Mistaken for a gun at the end. It's a fucking guilt. Yeah. For it all. You have one, Ben? Yeah. So in this movie, only the attractive people have sex. So they're a bunch of people in the movie, but only the people that look good having sex. If they made this movie right now, there'd be a random scene of Haas hitting something from the back. You know what I'm saying? Right. But in this movie, the desirable people, desirable people that have sex and everybody else is a bunch of fucking pastrami eating cops. They get to go, oh, you fucked that last night shooter? We like, like, but in this now, we have democratized, sexing. So Haas would have got to get down with. Haas and Roxy would have had their little situation if it was happening today. This is an amazing point because to the guys on the force, Nick is Austin Butler. Like, they're so fucking gross. They're like, they're even happy when they're like, Nick is breaking every law, but goddamn, man. I have a couple of 1992 things. Quitting cocaine for three months. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Those green police computer screens really bring me back to the 90s when you're just trying to read your, I honestly, you would go blind if you looked at those things for too long. But some of the prompts they're writing at are kind of chat GPT where they're like, yeah, yeah, 1967. And it's like, oh, OK. Calling a condom a rubber? Sure. Very 90s to me. I don't think they do. Do we say rubber in the same way anymore? That's a question for you. I was 12. And then Sharon Stone hosted the April 1992 Saturday and Live to promote this movie with musical guests. Pro Jam. Their first S&O performance. Look at that. And they look like they're like 22 years old. So there you go. What stage is the best? All the San Francisco location stuff. By the way, I was warned by multiple people not to say San Fran. Apparently it's an annoying habit. San Francisco people don't like. So do you have a nickname for San Francisco or no? Frisco. SF. What do you say, Craig? SF, probably. So when someone says San Fran, you're just like, fuck this person. So I fucking said it. Yeah. By the way, oh, fuck you guys. I was like, I said it and I'm Logan's right there. I was trying to like, shout out. Everybody give it up for Logan Murda. Oh, yeah. But like, I said it when I was trying to fucking compliment y'all. I said, nobody told me that shit. I didn't get the email. So Frisco, the city, all of that shit. Shout out to y'all. I guess so. We mentioned this earlier for what stage is best. One of the great cigarette smoking movies ever made, Sierra. Yeah. Who would you give if we could only hand out one Sean Penn I brought my own PAC Award for excellence in not-screen smoking? Would you go Stone or Douglas? Douglas, because you can see that the cigarette is the highway to hell for him. Interesting. I feel like it's the cigarette that unlocks everything. I have more what saves the best. But what do you got now? Well, I just I'm shocked you didn't say the first shot of Catherine on the deck that we spent so much time talking about. It's a good flick. Yeah, it's a good flick. Yeah. It's a good flick. Draws your attention to the jagged rocks, the danger of the person and the setting, all of it. Let's see. The score you already mentioned is quite good. The dong, the nudity, the explicit sex. Sharon Stone, we've talked about all of it. I think the way props are used, like objects. You mentioned the key ring, obviously the ice picks, the hand ties, the ceiling mirrors, the matching Picasso's. There are these like little aspects of every setting that really becomes central drivers of the plot in a nice way. I got one. Yeah. Men fucking with women who will eventually destroy them. So this movie should be required viewing for anyone who's thinking about Dana Kardashian. Timmy. I know it seems good now, brother. Yeah. But I was there for nine years. It's not going to work out. I had Johnny Baz's apartment, which has a Picasso. Yeah. Yeah, and Catherine has a Picasso. And also no maid service. Yeah. I really like Michael Douglas. I have down his hesitation. I can't believe this broad laugh that he does, where he's just like drinking a paper cup of water. Yeah, yeah. He's like his little weird, flirty thing. Something that Catherine exchanges, fuck like minks, raised rug rats, live happily ever after. Like there's just like good screenwriting stuff in this. And then now I can't believe you didn't mention this. Well, she got that Magna Connaught in Lottie Pussy on her. That's the Friday of the frame. The Friday of the frame. Yeah. Just some of the George Zunza. He plays Gus. Incredible. Gus like, you know, is dead the moment you see him. You're like, oh, yeah. This guy's overweight. He's a buddy. He's going to drink too much. He'll make it. You do the pool. He's going to be 18 minutes left till he's dead. You know what's happening? Pre-text San Francisco. Yeah, I would also put in there San Francisco. I used to come here a lot in the 90s because some of my best high school college friends lived here. And San Francisco was fucking awesome in the 90s. And it was a great place for young people. It was just really cool. And obviously has gone through a lot of transformations over the years. Just seeing it. Don't make a face, man. I'm saying he's binding into the propaganda. The fucking shit is beautiful. I've seen that fucking building. Or just sitting. What's that pointy building? What's it called? The pointy one from Star Trek. Do y'all know the name of the pointy one? I've seen that bitch. Trans-American, whatever the fuck. I saw that. I was like, yo, man, this shit is crazy. Are we done with the What's Age the Best? Can we move on? I had one thing which was it takes it like for me, it took a bunch of viewings to notice this. Is there is a brief moment when Douglas goes to Beth's house. He's like come in and she's like, oh, my lock is broken. And it's like basically the only detail you get that Catherine has set Beth up this entire time and is like placing articles in her house and shit. Got to put that revolver behind the book. That's change your locks? Maybe. But like it's a great. Otherwise, the whole movie almost falls apart at the end, which it kind of doesn't. Did you have another great shot, Gordo, for best shot? There's a bunch of really cool shit in here. Yandabon's really good. But the push in on Catherine saying, I'd have to be pretty stupid to write a book about killing and then kill him the same way I described in my book. And she's saying it to the audience where it's like almost breaking the fourth wall. We don't get to give this out a lot. The Amanda Dobbins Award for Best Piece of Real Estate. Catherine's house. Yes. So the exterior is in Stinson Beach. And then the interior stuff was in Carmel by the Sea, which is not that close to here. About 35 mil right now for this one. Great Bay window, great deck, easy access to a completely scary beach. Yeah. You just do it. You just do it. You can die as you're going on a walk. C.R., you have a flex category. What do you got? Yeah. I mean, you guys telling me, I feel like the Ed Norton reverse dunk award did this movie need a random sports scene. There's a little bit of Niners at the end, like at the diner and stuff. But can we not get George Seifert in this movie somehow? Because you're still cooking back then. What do you mean, like Nick goes to like a Niners practice and has like young Montana thoughts? Like Gus has lost a ton of money on the Niners or something. Yes. Yeah. Or I got one. Karen used to fuck somebody on the Niners. Oh, Karen. Catherine. I'm drunk. Catherine used to like, why woman, Karen, whatever. So she used to fuck somebody on the Niners so they go to interview him. And it's Jerry Rice. And the name of her new novel is Rice. Right. Yeah. Mallory, you don't get a flex because you have your own award. The Mallory Rubin Award for did this movie need a better sex scene? Oh, shit. OK. Well, like a third of the runtime is sex scenes, basically. We have the opening boss scene. We have Nick. I'll incorporate some just nudity that's very central as well. Nick watching Catherine change in the mirror for the first time. The Nick Beth rape scene. We could make that better by not having it or not doing it that way, I'd say. Nick watching Catherine change again through the large beautiful picture windows that you were just commenting on with the real estate. And reasonable to assume that she knows he's there. So put a pin in that. I'll be coming back to that in a second. We've got the fuck of the century. The fireplace chase scene. So this we enter a different point in the movie now where we're like not seeing the sex. Right. This is the link. They've worn us out. Make love to me. And then we cut and they're cuddling in front of the fire. It's like this is not the movie that I signed up to watch. Why am I not seeing every second of that? And it ends up being very relevant because that's when she's planting the Lisa nuggets about Beth in this vulnerable moment. Then we get Catherine at Nick's apartment, some nudity. And then again, we don't see the sex scene insane. And then we cut to them cuddling in the window. I didn't have enough sex. I think that there are a couple opportunities in the established sequence of the film to just show us all of the sex again, which I would have supported. And then of course, the final sex scene, which once again mirrors the boss beats. She's spine bending maneuvers and then the forward thrust and then like, OK, she didn't kill him. So here are my suggestions. Give us the full sex scenes in the ones we cut away from the make love to me fireplace chase and the window nook. But I think for like the fourth or fifth rewatchables in a row. So this is something I'm going to reflect on later. I would like to suggest that the movie include a masturbation scene because it actually doesn't make sense that that's missing. And I think when Nick follows, it has calluses. Well, yeah, I'm like, how is how does Nick's dick have skin on it? His hand has that many calluses on it. Like use some lotion, my guy. Come on. But I'm talking about Catherine. Naturally, he follows her home. Someone said yes. Somebody said yes. A televisionary. He follows her home and she is she just immediately gets undressed. Drapes are open. Giant window. She definitely knows he's there because he is the worst tale in the history. Yeah, he really is. She's terrible. The point in the movie does he follow somebody and they don't know that he's behind them. So she knows he's there and purposefully she gets undressed in front of the window, leaves the lights on and then as she walks away, turn the lights off, which I think is confirmation that she knows he's watching. There's a couch right there. Go for it. Right? He throws some solo action. Yes. And then we mix in a Newman scene as well. Oh, Newman solo action. Let's see it. Yes. Real toss up. Let's either see Newman jack off or Catherine masturbate. I'm going. Splendid on her couch. I'm going way night. Honestly. Way night. Yeah, I've never seen anything like that before. Yeah. Oh my God. Pulling the back row. We don't get to give this award out. Craig, you were here when this award was created. The Steven Segal Heart to Kill Award for did this movie need a better intimacy coordinator? Clearly yes. Clearly yes. Paul Verhoeven is the intimacy coordinator. Yeah. I'm going to say yes on this. Yeah, I'm going to say yeah. I'll give this a yes. Yeah, okay. Which is girlfriend award for a weak link of the film. I got this one and it really jumped out at me. What the fuck is Hazel Dobkin's doing in this movie? Oh, this is mine too. Unless you subscribe to the online theory that she is the mastermind of this entire film. Oh, we think that's fine. And that's why Catherine seems so deferential towards her and she's often at the house when Nick arrives. Is like Hazel's like in the background. Yeah. What message boards are you on? R slash basic instinct. And no, but it's like it's either one or the other. She's either like they kind of wrote her into the movie and kept her like appearing throughout it or she is the Joker. What do you think of that, Van? What do you mean? Hazel Dobbin's being the Joker. I don't know. You know, I'm thinking about a lot of stuff in this movie and I'm processing as we're talking. Like when we were talking about the sex scenes and Hazel, I looked at the sex scenes. I really thought that this was the way white people had sex back in the day. Because I look at her now and all of her riding skills, they're completely obsolete now. We have new technologies. She wasn't making those circles. She was just going crazy. And then like when you see showgirls, it's the same thing. When you watch Elizabeth Birkeland's showgirl, she's in the pool and she's actually like she's on a booking bronco and I got a fucking spasm and shit like that. But like anyway. I had Hazel questions as well because I think it's one of the more puzzling aspects of the plot. I hadn't considered, I didn't know this was a theory. I hadn't considered the Joker thing, but I think another bit of evidence to support this theory is that Hazel canonically killed her husband and three children. She is a mass murderer, a child slayer and it is established on the aforementioned computer that she was in jail for nine years from that. Roxy killed her brother's name is out after six. That's like so insane. She slit their throats with a razor and she's like, I've been in a couple of years. I'm good. I haven't done a picket knits. It seemed like I would say a short prison sentence for wiping out your family. It's crazy. Hold on. Hold on. This is the two Americans thing. This is my family. She gives out nine years. I know niggas in jail. Fifty-five years for weed. That's for real. Feel guilty. Isn't the weak link in the movie, the DNA evidence thing though? It's actually, I agree that we just want to watch the movie and have fun, but it is actually disqualifying. Borderline disqualifying. DNA evidence had been in practice since the 80s. This movie is set in 92. There's just absolutely no. Here's the thing. Every single murder involves every bodily fluid that you could possibly extract. How are they not finding the killer? Can I counter this? Please. Because I had this in what stage is the worst, not weakest link. Just because 10 years later, the DNA, she's done in five minutes. But if you remember the OJ trial in 95, people still, we barely knew what DNA evidence was. People didn't even really believe it. Well, because he didn't do it anyway. So, but no, but the DNA is kind of, so you're going to the sun? Like the DNA is kind of rendered defunct by the fact that she admits that she had sex with the guy. Yeah. She says that she had sex with him and she says over and over again that they had sex. So her being connected to him is not necessarily. But the fingerprints on the ice pack, like there's stuff that they would. She's not covered in like blood. Her clothing doesn't have a trace of the blood. She's often freshly showered when he comes over. Yeah. I don't think that's how it works. I'm just saying. If you come in a murder one day as a friend and person who loves you, don't just shower and think you're going to get away with it. You need to clean up more fully. That's so funny getting the call from CR like 230. I took a shower. I'm fine. Come downtown. I did something. I wasn't supposed to do that. Bring a bar of Irish spring. That's just get me out of this. I would help you. This is so what's each the worst for me? I don't know. I'm not. I got to do my weekly. Oh, you guys, you're waiting. By the way, Van, I think you'd be one of my three calls. I don't know where you rank. Hey, bro. Who's car we taking? You call me. I'm waiting. So I had a I had a less auspicious week link. So Nick, Michael Douglas's character attacks Nielsen, the internal affairs guys that he gave up the files, right? Yeah. In front of like 30 cops. Yes. Has to be restrained. He's like ready to fight him. Six hours later, the guy shot in the head and they're like, Hey, shooter, we're going to need your gun. Bill, he's not in jail. Like I'm so glad you brought this up. Right. This is what I don't think you caught in that scene where he goes into Nielsen's office. And he goes into Marty's office and he starts like jumping on him. Marty's boss pulls up guns. What the shit is happening? So it's just a game. There are no rules in the SFPD. Yeah. Crazy. The SFPD is going nuts. They take the gun, put it. Hey, do something to my blow your fucking head off. That's internal affairs. It's insane. There's no fucking law. What a movie. All right. What's each of the worst? What'd you have, Sierra? Well, so what's each of the worst is the fact that we know too much. We would be talking about DNA evidence. After David Simon, we know way too much about law enforcement storytelling. Back then they were like, yeah, three months ago this Nark killed two tourists while he was high on coke. Now fucks his therapist. Let's promote him to homicide detectives. And have him drive the suspect who the two of them have been making fuck me eyes at each other throughout this completely inappropriate interrogation. Did you know each other? My idea is, Nick, find out where Catherine is. And then he abandons his responsibilities altogether. It's fucking amazing. Crazy. Watching it at the time, I was like, this is incredible. Watching it now, you're like, I think there would probably be some reviews. We mentioned the first sex scene is, I gotta say problematic now, but in 1992 wasn't not problematic. Like it was a big thing when it happened with him and Gene Triple horn. It's just a weird choice. I don't really get it. So this really bugs me. This is could be a nitpick, but it's really what's age the worst. So they put together the gene triple horn also went to college with Sharon Stone's character and they put the photo ID and she's got a blonde wig in the photo ID, but it's the exact same photo as her now. And it was like, this movie costs $59 million. And they were just like, Hey, what are we going to do with the photo? And they just like photo shot. I just don't understand it. It's such an unforced error. Great one. What else did you have any what's age the worst man? No, I was all about the way Sharon Stone was riding. Did you have any more mail? I think that the we've alluded to this, but like the beyond just the general kind of shot he worked from the SFPD, the solving of the murder. They're like that jacket fit. So it was back. She's got a bunch of articles that says where she works on the back of it, which is definitely a choice you'd make as a murderer fit. So it's her. I mean, that's just absolutely ludicrous. I had a I had that in the picks, but the same thing they go to the they go to best kitchen drawer. They open up. Stuff. Yeah. And the guy goes, well, I guess that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How it in guilty. We're going to get a cascaded. Always keep a full binder of chronologically ordered incriminating evidence in their kitchen drawer. Always. Crazy. Always the speed of the elevator in that sequence also ridiculous. And the fact that Nick has just had this very dramatic moment where he's like looking at the two covers, oh, which will they go with? And he sees the paragraph about the detective's partner being found in the elevator. And then Gus shows up and is like, bud, I got a call from Catherine's freshman year roommate. Let's go. And Nick's like, sounds good. That all seems credible. Let's do it. And then he's like, I'm just going to go inside a few floors up the elevator that you just read about. And it's like, cool. Good luck. Yeah. He just read the page on the printer. He killed shortly thereafter in the exact scenario that was described in the pages he just read. Nick, terrible. No one's like Beth doesn't have blood on her hands at the end. I had a crazy. The last 40 minutes is a what's age the worst. They kind of yada yada. Some of this stuff. But I love this movie. If you stab someone with an ice pick that many times in the jugular and an elevator, you have some blood on your hands. And then I had the rip off erotic thrillers that came after this that were all pretty bad. I think the worst ones probably color night, especially because Bruce Willis pool penis on a 70 foot screen. Wasn't really looking for that in 1995. Well, all right. It's their own. I'm really excited for this next category. The Ruffalo Han and Rubenick Partridge overacting word obviously goes to Michael Douglas, who has he does this thing where he says the line, but then yells the last two words. So it's like, who has access to my God damn miles? What is this? Some kind of joke. This was his angry Michael Douglas. Stop fucking riding me, man. Get your fucking teeth in. I just love it. All right. Vans flex. So you have to do how it been. They've been how it been late and get out of this one, which is an award we have sometimes. As Beth or as Nick, I think you could be you could be any of the three characters here. How would Van get out of this one? Pick a character and go. I'm getting out of what though? I don't know how it been. They think it out of this. All right. Your best. How about your best? So I'm bet. I'm going to be Nick, right? Okay. So I'm Nick and, and, you know, they're asking me like why I'm hanging around Catherine. What a reality is this. You say I don't read enough. The woman's an author. Okay. You say I played a game too much. You say that I'm too obsessed with the dog. You say I'm on the computer too much. This woman's an author. She's written books. These books are very well regarded. And what I'm trying to do is deepen my understanding of literature. Now here's the deal. If this was a male writer, you would have any problem with it. That's right. It's a female writer. So while you're looking at me, what I think you actually need to look at is the mirror because the reality is this is a woman. So you feel threatened. I don't feel threatened around women because I empower women. I believe in female writers. I believe in female creators. And this is a female creator. I believe in her. So I'm going to keep hanging around her. You deal with your things. Talk to Dr. Crossman on Thursday. Nails it every time. Gaslight. The CR, the CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford. How does take a word? So I was working on something. I told you earlier, I was like, I have a hottest take, but I haven't landed the plane yet. I think the plane's still circling the airport. Is this movie a perverted man's version of Gilligan's Island where the professor is caught in between the psychosexual dealings of Ginger and Marianne? Or the CR is pandering to the audience award for safest home field take. San Francisco is the best movie city. Wow. The suck up take. I like it. Now do you have one? I think Catherine is a pretty generous murderer. Oh yeah. I mean cocaine on the penis. Sure you're alive to see the ice pick penetrate your nose, your neck, a couple other parts of your body, but you're shooting your load inside of her while it's happening. Not about way to go. A giving murderer. Yeah. That's fair. Thoughtful. She could just kill them. Exactly. What do you got, Ben? You scratch my back during the fuck section, it's over. Okay. I know that like, I've had this conversation since 99. Hey bro, I was in that shit like crazy dog. She was scratching my back. I'm like, that's it. It's over. I don't even like spicy food. I don't like pain. You scratch, it's like, you bite my neck too hard. Hey yo, on guard though, I feel you. Chill. All right. She scratches his shit like Wolverine is seeing Magneto. Yes. And this motherfucker is like, ah, God, whatever. Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's true what they say about you. No, I don't scratch my shit. Mine, I don't know how to prove this. I think this is the single worst cop performance ever by a cop in the movie. So we get to meet Nick. He's off cocaine for three months. Yeah. Yeah. Three months. It's celebration. Let's have a party. He's killed four tourists in the last five years. Yeah. But each time it was undercover for drugs, so it's fine. Somehow got promoted as CR mentioned. He's asked to trail this suspect, immediately falls in love with her and goes down the psychosexual path, loses his mind, loses his badge, and then ends up shooting his girlfriend. Mars, Mars is there. After he let his girlfriend go up to reenact the page of a book that he just read. Crazy. Let go. Let's go up. Yeah. Shoots his girlfriend and then somehow gets away with it and he's back on the streets. I mean, this is like the real dirty Harry. This is it. It was like lousy Harry. Yeah. Terrible cop. Casting what ifs. We mentioned Kim Basinger, Meg Ryan turned it down, Gina Davis turned it down, Ellen Barkin. I'm amazed she turned it down. Meryl Hemingway turned it down. And then it was Demi Mooriver, Sharon Stone, and Sharon Stone won. By far the funniest casting what if is that Emma Thompson auditioned for Catherine. Yeah. I didn't know what to make of that. Did you believe that? I thought you should have forgotten. Yeah. Allegedly in one of the original scripts, Nick Kern was originally a lesbian cop written with Kathleen Turner in mind and then they switched it. Paul Verhoeven was supposed to direct Black Rain, which will be on the rewatchables at some point in 2026, but dropped out to do total recall. And then I thought this was amazing. Verhoeven wanted Tom Pairinger for Robocop and Basic Instinct and Pairinger is like, Oh, thanks. You're a weird pervy Dutch guy. I'll be doing sniper instead. Yeah. Milo's foreman was the first choice to direct and do it. And then I don't know what to believe with who is considered for Nick is basically every white actor from 1992. The other ones that were really big were Linda Fiorentino as Beth. And this is insane, but Brooke Shields is Roxy. Yeah. Saw that. You don't want to comment? It's just, there's no way. Yeah. She just never would have done it. Best that guy award Newman ineligible, Groundhog guy, the Groundhog Day guy, Stephen Toblaskie, he's ineligible. Yeah. Dickie Greenleaf's dad, the principal headmaster from Senate Woman, James Reborn ineligible. Why is he ineligible? Because he's James Reborn. Guy Craig. Where we can reel, reel, reel wheel with that guy. Even Craig knows he's James Reborn. The fact that you have to say the guy from Groundhog Day means he's a that guy. Yeah. I think Roxy wins the that guy award. No. Fuck all that. No. Because if you see her, you think it's Roxy. No, it's not her. No. You're changing the definition of that guy. That guy means you've seen him so many times and you're like, that guy, we never see Roxy again. So there's a thunder. Right. It's like, who would the most amount of people in this room be like, oh, that guy, when they see him on screen. So probably James Reborn. That's fine. What about, okay, so the sheriff. This guy is starting five. Jack McGee, who plays the sheriff, he's also in Scrooge. Bruce A. Young, who is the guy who says he had a minutum out of cocaine on the penis and in the legs. Right. Chelsea Ross. I'm a team player. You can give it to whoever you want. Can we give Roxy the Dan Waiters award? Definitely. No question. So is this a Hall of Fame, Dan Waiters performance? I've recently become really obsessed with these Instagram videos where it'll be like Cam Chancellor being like, when I was out there, I was looking to kill and then a fucking Drake song drops and it's just Cam Chancellor hits for like two and a half minutes. They should make one for Roxy. Just with her footage and basic instinct. Oh, I forgot where I was. Yeah. Recast and couch director city. So Hazel Dobbins, does the character work better if it's just Jacqueline Bissett? Just throwing that out there. Wow. Dead silence from the crowd. Let's walk through Tom Cruise as Nick. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just, I don't want to get in the car with this, but let's take a stroll around the block. Little younger. I think he brings the same amount on intentional comedy. Definitely. There's probably a running scene at one point. Probably across the Golden Gate. Yeah. Right. He's running the Golden Gate for no reason at all. Yes. Yeah. He's running Distance and Beach. We, Dan, we'd get to watch him smoke. I'll see you later. I'll run. We'd get to watch him smoke. Nothing would be funnier than Tom Cruise ripping off Marlboro Reds. That'd be great. I'm gonna have sexual chemistry with Sharon Stone, who's like working overtime. I would love that. Him new talking to Roxy in the bathroom. Yeah. New Tom Cruise. Let me ask you something rocky. Man to man. Him in the nightclub scene? Like he's definitely like, I'm talking about the nightclub scene. He's going to fucking dance. Yeah. Yeah. He's not going to be able to stay away. The beat's going to fucking completely destroy him. Now I don't know if you want to imitate Tom Cruise in the cunnilingus scene. This is turned into ET. It's like ET coming out of the closet. I don't know. I can see it. I see what you're saying. Yeah. So would you go Cruise or Douglas? Have you had to redo this? I feel like I would go Cruise. You got to go Douglas, man. What do you think, Craig? I feel like you should say it. You got to go Douglas. All right. Fine. Craig, you have a flex category. Vincent Chase Award. Are we sure this character was actually good at his job? Yeah. Catherine Tramel. Fantastic planner. Messy killer. Reckless stabber. 31 stabs on Johnny Bos. Why? Why did you act like you've been there before? Jesus Christ. He's dead after five. I thought you were actually going to say, we don't know what kind of writer she was. Yeah. That too. I know she was fast because she would just be like, I'm off Bos. I'm on to Nick. Shooter's done. Now we're going on to the next one. So in the script, it says only 16 stabs for some reason. Up to 31. The 31 in the real movie. There is, when she gives the copy of the first, the book about the kid who killed his parents in the plane crash, there's like a newsweek blurb on there about what a masterpiece it is. And it does say on the top, best seller. Oh, shoot. All the more reason why it would be hard for her to be a mass murderer. I mean, it's a thrill. Also like leaving the ice pick and the scene of the crime. Like she's just buying ice picks every week. But that's her whole game, right? It's like, it's the taunt. Yeah. They're the, you know, a book 40 and game. She's just leaving bloody ice picks around. No regard for DNA. Messy reckless. I don't like it. Van, if you, She shoots Nielsen in the head in broad daylight in a car. She got away with all of it. Van, if you were dating her when you went to bed at night, would you check in different parts of the bed for the ice pick just to make sure? Would you just let it go? No. When you date crazy, you like, you just put you buy in. I would have like a metal detector that like works like a Roomba. Going around looking for an ice pick all over. Did you guys see that Sharon Stone literally as she was stabbing Bill Cable, the guy who played Johnny Boss stabbed him so hard, it went through the blood pack and pierced his skin and he went to the hospital. Too much. Wow. She's committed. Get off of me. Quick half-catering or research. Nobody doubles used in any sex scenes. Yep. We mentioned the five days to film the big sex scene. Douglas, the client to go full frontal in the film, which apparently he had in his contract. The patriarchy is so real. My God. I got as well in my contract. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Side dick though. The first sex scene with Douglas and Triple Horn, it was the rehearsal scene and Creepy Per Verhoeven was like, that was good. Let's keep that as the main. They didn't even know they were filming it as the real scene. That is like so gnarly. Pretty weird. Strange guy. Then in Hollywood Animal, Joe Esther Haas' book, he claimed that he slept with Sharon Stone after the movie came out. That was in the book. Cool. Yeah, I don't. I think he was... Esther Haas wrote this movie over the course of 10 days with no outline while listening to the Stones, which is a great euphemism for uncooking. Yeah. You can't tell. Then in the making of, I had to bring this up is Verhoeven describes Nick as, quote, a cop who has gone through some bad times and has done some things that we might consider wrong. Including four murders. All right. You know what category we didn't do? We didn't do, does this movie need more black people? No. It's a killer cop. He's killing everybody. Apex Mountain is another category we do where we decide if we're going to do a movie, we say Apex Mountain is another category we do where we decide if this was the peak of somebody's something. Got it. Controversial character category. Michael Douglas, I'm going to say no. No. No. No. Sharon Stone, yes. Yes. Yeah, for sure. Joe Esther Haas, yes. Yeah. Ceiling sex mirrors. Could be. Oh, has it been done better than this? I don't... Do you think that this is maybe the end of the peak of ceiling sex mirrors? I know. Cribs brought it back. Cribs brought it back? I think like three members of the Trailblazers had the ceiling mirrors. I remember. Zach Randolph definitely had it. Love it. San Francisco movies? Probably not. Probably not, yeah. Erotic thrillers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, sure. You might say yes. All right. Freeze frame moments? Like moments you pause on in a movie? Side dick freeze frame? Yeah. It's like personal apacitides. Yeah. Phoebe Cates. What is it for Gene Triple Horn? Because it's probably the firm, right? The firm, yeah. The firm, right around this time is 92s, kind of like breaks out. Yeah. Coke and Jack Daniels. Oh. Sure. Got Pepsi in the fridge. Elevator murderers. I'm going to go dress the kill. Gratuitous male actor, Ash Shots. I think maybe. Oh yeah. So there was a whole competition. So look, what's this? So he had to show his butt. He had no problem. Right. He had a white butt competition. Right. So it's the apex of white butt competitions. Male Gibson's butt, lethal weapon. Kevin Costner's butt, Robin Hood. Bruce Willis' butt later on in Color of Night. Douglas was like, you know what? I got the ass. Douglas the stallion. Got to do it. I'm going to show you all that. I got that nasty. He had to show his butt. He probably wanted to show it. He lost 25 pounds for the film of the movie. Exactly. He looks great. That shape of his life. We don't get to give this award all the time, but it's the Floyd Gundolly. Hold on for a second. Apex Myron, I got a couple of things. What do you got? Ice picks. Yeah. Yeah. Apex Myron. Ice picks. Yeah. Thank you. The crowd is applauding ice picks. What's happened to all of you? We've corrupted you in less than 90 minutes. Ice picks. Fucking your therapist. I think this was like way up there, fucking your therapist right here. That's Sopranos? Also Sopranos. Sopranos they never fuck. Fantasy scene. But the yeah, the fantasy. Did they fucking... Princess Ploch. No. Princess Ploch. No. Yeah. Whoa. Did Stryzan and Nolte have sex in Prince of Tides? Honestly, CRU got the Apex now. Heaven whip that one out in a while. Woman on top? Woman on top. Woman on top. Yeah. You know, it might be. Hey man, ladies get loud for that. We know y'all like that shit. It only actually feels good to y'all. But like it, like... Oh, Adora. Yeah. Like woman on top. Like this is, she wants to exert her power. She flips over and that's how she does her thing. Woman on top. The Floyd Gondali. Brother, butter in my ass and lollipops in my mouth award for something I just enjoy. Here you go, CR. For me it's... Cops getting in too deep. Now I'll leave it go a little further. When an unraveling and supposedly sober cop shows up at the police bar and orders a double. Yeah. Yes. And multiple cops go, oh no. Shoot her. Nick's drinking again. I'm in every time. I just love it. Do you guys have anything for that or should we keep going? Not wearing any underwear. So look, I love this. Okay. Who told women they had to wear underwear? Men. Don't listen. Okay. Let that thing out. You know what I'm saying? And also I'm going to be honest with you guys. I like doing it. Okay. Last year I got a wax job. Yep. What's going on right now? He chronicled this on his podcast. Last year I got a wax job. It was very memorable. She waxed the entire thing and like three quarter way through the wax she goes, I love what you do. And I'm like, this is a little weird, but that's okay. Oh no. And after that it's just, it feels sexy though. I think it's probably closer to the Floyd Gundully like essence of this category than we ever get. So Craig's done, Craig's done LinkedIn right now. Looking, looking around. We don't get to give this award out very much. The he got game hooker scene for most awkward scene. If someone randomly walks into the room, there's like five different scenes where your mother in law is coming down and you thought she was asleep. Yeah. Yeah. Pick a knits. Why didn't Johnny Basz's corpse have a rigor mortis boner? Did it? You want me to Google it? I mean that's why you have the computer. When you die, don't you just die like everything's intact? I don't know if it's like getting frozen and carbonate. It's like the second your heart stops you're like. Are we sure it's not though? Do we have a doctor in now? It is a thing, a death erection. But he doesn't have an erection. Thank you. No. Thank you. Third death. Thank you. I'm sorry. We had Hazel Dobbins get out of jail. I just nine years. She served her time for a husband and three kids gone. Let's let her out. I have a few more, but Sierra, you have any? I mean, when does Catherine write? Oh, I had this too. She wrote Shooter in two weeks. Yeah. She writes Shooter in a matter of weeks and she boasts most of the time is having sex doing cocaine or driving around San Francisco. We're hanging at a Nick's doorstep waiting for him to come home. Hey, got your houseplant prolific writer. Yeah, she's a genius. She is. Okay. I got one. Yeah. So after the first time they have sex, you know, this big he spoons her. Nigga, this your girl now? He's in love with her. No, look all that. No, spooning is for Sunday. We watching the Avengers in game on TNT. It's like the whole fucking afternoon. You do not spoon the psycho killer girl that you are investigating. He wants to he's nuzzles up next to her puts his hand over. She calls me what the fuck is up with you homie? He ain't got no homeboys. You're spouting that quick. Sip ass motherfucker. CR. That was it. My picking it was really about Catherine's writing. Now you have any? I think the fact that Nick gets hit by a moving vehicle that Roxy drives a Lotus into him and he is unaffected. He like shakes his head once and he gets behind the wheel. Like that's the concussion protocol. One head shake, no blood, no injuries, no damage to the car, which of course then will be damaged when it falls rolls over the cliff killing Roxy who has no injuries, no blood on her despite the car being so internal injuries. Yes. Crazy ludicrous. Why did Johnny Bos give all of his money to her? Why was she the only one available to get the $100 million? Was that who she got? I thought she got it from her parents. She got it from her parents. I thought it was Bos's money went to her after he died. Maybe he gets hit off, but she gets him, but she's rich because of her parents. Because of her parents. So, Beth, as a nitpick, she falls for the broke cocaine using alcoholic with one friend who shoots people randomly once a year and just had his wife kill herself. And she's like, when you go to dinner tonight, would you like to come? Her dying words are I loved you. Yeah, like this was it for Beth. Well, this guy's 20 years older than her. She's a psychiatrist. So this is like, this is her cocaine. Yeah. Right. Like a good time every night with Nick. This is consistent though. Yeah. So in the departed, she falls in love. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So in the Prentos, there's always this thing between male feel like what's going on with these therapists. I think they like that type of dumbass shit. Like the danger. Any more nitpicks? Because I'm going to move on. SQL prequel, prestige, TVL black cast are untouchable. I think at least walk through all black cast. What is it? Because I feel like they have tried to make versions of this. What's is there's the one with what's I'm trying to think. Okay, what's your time? I wish one like obsessed. Now it's the one with the Ali Larder. Oh, obsessed. That's the call obsessed with Beyonce. Beyonce and motherfucking and and is yourself. There's none of the Megan Good, but they never pulled it off. They haven't really pulled it off. There's a thin line between love and hate. What actually takes place in the Bay like with like with Martin Lawrence and Whitfield and stuff like that. It's tough. We don't like to pick the nurses like that. You know, I'm saying our sisters don't get obsessed and shit like that. The only thing that works is to explain the ending. I don't. I mean, I guess you could you could do it as prestige TV. I I will know. Would you go backwards to Berkeley with Beth and I would go back to many best years. Yeah, I'd make a boxing show with Catherine as his girlfriend. But you know, they may face against thing to much maligned. Right. No, it's horrible. Please don't rent. A year ago, Joe Astorhouse, who is 80, reportedly sold a screenplay to Amazon for $2 million that was going to be an anti woke reboot of basic instinct because basic instinct is too woke. And he gave this quote to those who question what an 80 year old man is doing writing a sexy erotic thriller. The rumors of my cinematic impotence are exaggerated and agist. I call my writing parter all caps. The twisted little man and he lives somewhere deep inside me. He was born 29. He will die 29. And he tells me sky high up to write this piece and provide viewers with a wild and orgasmic ride. Do you want to see this? Yes. We should have made you read that as Vincent Hannah. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the florist, Zane Lowe or somebody else here? Nick man. From nights of cocaine, field sex to days of shooting tourists, you've done it all. So what is it that gets you fired up? Would it be the best selling author of mass market paperbacks uncrossing her legs in the interrogation room? And where does Nick current go from here? Incredible. Incredible. Amazing. I was hoping you would do Wayne. Give us a quick Wayne. Here's the context. Catherine is on a book tour. God damn it. She's gone to Baltimore on her book tour. What is she doing in Baltimore? On a book tour for her best seller. Oh, I was just going to say if Wayne was Gus, it would be like, God damn Nick, you got a sweetie bird flying around your head. Give us Magna Coladibusy in a Baltimore accent. Do it. No. He's not prepared for this. He's not fried up your brain. Going down to the ocean, Han. Can I give you Ryan Rucco? Please. Sure. Announcing the first scene in the movie. Catherine's riding and now she's reaching back. Is she going for the ice pick? You bet. Shout out to Rucco. Just one Oscar. Who gets it? Stone. Jared Stone. All right. We all agree. Probably an answerable question. Van, was it a big deal when Manny the boxer died in the ring in 1984? Like cover of sports illustrated? Had to be a huge deal, right? Like led sports center? Yeah. Kind of like it was a big deal too. That was also another really weird cop moment is when they're like, maybe if she put on Afro and did blackface, she could be mad. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? See? I was going to let it slide. How long did they date after the movie ended? Well how long until she kills them, right? Because that's the answer. Is Nick still alive in 1995? No. No. Nick has died of a massive croquet. Okay. And he's dead. Yeah. He mentions Rugrats at the grocery store later that day. She stabs him, I think. If he doesn't retract the Rugrats line, because she's like, I hate Rugrats, she kills him right then and there. No question. So it's got to be just a matter of days. I'm always on the unanswerable questions and how long does he last front? At what point is he like, let me see some more of your pages about this detective so that I can just avoid the exact scenario? Right. That you have crafted and live a little longer. But he doesn't ask. I think they, I think Montana goes to the chiefs, Nick unravels, he's back on the coke and then she just kills him because he's annoying. He just never believes in studio. Yeah, she just has. She stabs him death. Should she have just killed him at the ending? Is that a better ending? No. If she murders him and that's the end of the movie. I don't think it would be like a fun theater going experience. If the last thing you see is Michael Douglas dying. Maybe it would be just. If the movie ends not with his actual death, but with her grabbing the ice pick, like actually grabbing the ice pick, then you leave on something a little bit more. Can we do like the soprano's ending? Kind of saying. I like it. I like it just like it is because it's there. She reaches for it. Then she retracts. So there's enough to like, I mean, you want it to debate whether I was curious. I mean, like, I think I, I, I weirdly like there's 8% of me that's like, but Beth could have done it. And Catherine also crazy. The ice picks just at the same time. Yeah. I like that this is your like spinning top at the end of inception. Yeah. You're like, was it moving? Is it hot? Are we sure? 30 years. Secret handshake club memorabilia you'd want from this movie. A copy of Love Hurts by Catherine Wolf. Oh, V-neck shooter. The V-neck sweater. V-neck. Would you wear it? I mean, if I had it. Yeah. What do you have, Craig? Those, those giant red like semen glasses that he wears. Yeah. Imagine I just got those on and you come over. Like, you know, these are from Johnny Bosz's apartment. They're called the semen glasses. New from Chrome Hearts. What would you have, Van? Oh, what's the ice pick? Yeah, of course. It's got to be the ice pick or the mirror, ceiling mirror. Mal, the storyboards. Well, I mean, oh my God, the storyboards. That would be great. I would frame them and I would display them tastefully next to my ceiling mirror. Yeah. The Coach Finstock, Mr. Miyagi Award for Best Worse Life Lesson. I think it's, it's actually worth it to risk it all for the fuck of the century. I think it's the lesson in this movie. I think Nick Wins gets a girlfriend, breaks up with somebody he didn't really like that much anyway, gets out of murder investigation, gets rid of everybody at work that he kind of hated. He's picked up. She's loaded. She's got money. She's beautiful properties. I think the life lesson is wash your sheets. Yeah. I think the life lesson is what Ha said. That's her pussy talking. It hates your brain. That happens. Sierra, what do you got for a double feature choice? Jagged Edge. It's another Joe Esther Hass thriller and it's also set in San Francisco. I like that movie. I had total recall. Oh, fatal attraction. Double Virgo. Oh, fatal. I had body of evidence, which is the bad version of this movie. That movie is awful with Madonna and Willem Dafoe, which is interesting because the masturbation scene that you say that you want it. Yeah, sure. They actually do that in body of evidence. Yeah. And Willem Dafoe is completely unprepared for it. Madonna just fucking goes for it and he doesn't know what to do. The Green Goblin is like, what? Works every time. It's a really horrible movie. Who won the movie of Sharon Stone? No question. Yeah. All right. We've never done this on a live show. Craig, we always go to him at the end and see what he thought of the movie, but you've already seen this one. Well, because we did this five years ago. Yeah. That was my watch. But I don't think you asked me on that show. This movie is just elite entertainment. We didn't know how good we had it in the early 90s. It's crazy to me that this movie was reviewed poorly. Compared to what we have now, this movie looks fantastic. It has like an elite actor, great performance. It's based off nothing huge star in it, made $400 million. This would be the achievement of the fucking decade if this movie came out right now. Yeah. Agreed. All right. There we go. I would also, it's a very good 4K Blu-ray. Yes. I bet. Yeah. Physical media era. Yeah. For the San Francisco scenes. Yeah. Yeah. In all seriousness though, one reason why this movie holds up or it's so good or you can watch it now and digest it so easily is because San Francisco is a character in a movie. Yes. And we're not making as many movies where Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego are characters in these movies and they are just like those cities are immaculate in terms of the way you can film them. You can't fake it. You can't fake San Francisco. You can't fake San Francisco. Yeah. And so like that going away makes you have to make this movie like in fucking Atlanta or something like that, the volume or something. Basic instinct in the volume would be pretty funny. It's fucking stupid, right? That's its legacy but also, you know, Michael Douglas saying I don't remember how often I used to jerk off but it was a lot. Also important. Calysis. San Francisco's beauty and that. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to have calysis. That's bad. Yeah. That'll hurt your guy. Yeah. You guys take San Francisco for granted because you live here but this city is awesome and it's a really, really, really great movie location city when you even walk around and you kind of feel like you're in a movie when you're here with all the hills and everything. If I lived here, the power walking, I was telling them my legs would be like Adrian Peterson. I would just be, I would be in the greatest shape of my life. Thank God I don't live here. Listen, thanks for coming out. We had a great time. Thank you so much. That was awesome. We love this theater so we're going to come back but thanks for having us. Thanks for coming out. Have a great rest of the night.