Jessica Buchanan | 195

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It is cute and a pixie, but that was hilarious. She has these little baby bangs that she just put right in front. And I'm like, ooh, press record, hurry. So there you go. There's y'all's treat. Bye, y'all. Have a good week. Have a great week. No, this is a story of the days. I'm like anyone we've told, I think. And Rebecca keeps saying that. And I'm like, what do you mean? I cried a lot recently. I really am going to try to keep it under control. I think I can. I've read through it. I was able to read through it this morning and did not cry. So we'll see. But you know what? We'll see. Listen, it won't be the first. It won't be the first. It won't be the last. Y'all know how it goes. We have heart of gold. I'm just kidding. No, these stories are so emotional, and I get so invested. Yeah. Yeah. And I can jump right in because it's a long one. I'm so intrigued. Like 50-something pages, and then I was like, Rach, I got it down to 46. Oh, my God. Good job. This might be the longest one yet. Oh, and I started Radiation. I think I told patrons that. Yeah. Was that a bonus episode? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Rebecca started Radiation. Yeah, last Thursday. I'm on four of 19 – I mean, sorry, four of 21 rounds. Right. So far, so good. So far, so good. It just kind of feels like you're in a tanning bed. Mine is the Playboy Bunny sticker on your hip. Obviously. You did it. You did it. 98% of our listeners, this is a statistic, a fact, 98% of our listeners did that. Playboy Bunny, an ice cream cone, a heart. I mean, a classic heart. I don't remember the ice cream cone. Yeah, but you did it because your boyfriend thought it was sexy. You know. Okay. And you thought it was sexy. All right. Today, I'm telling you about Jessica Buchanan. Please next time go with the Playboy Bunny sticker on your boob. I'm just trying to see what it does. It's not that kind of light, you idiot. All right. So, sources. A book called Impossible Odds. And let me tell you something. I bought two versions of this book, the Kindle and the audio book, because when I was, like, out and about and on the go, I would listen to it at, like, two times speed. Yeah. Because I only had a couple weeks, you know, in between stories to do this, and I really wanted to do this story because it's incredible. but uh so i would listen to it out and about like two times speed and then i'd come back and search what i heard on the kindle so to make sure i got the facts right so it was like a very uh and yeah research um and then good for you also a book called mob six by justin schafeld no this is not about a mob right when you said it's something we unlike what we would typically do. The first thought was, is it a mob story? No, it's not. So other sources. 60 Minutes, American Codebook, New York Post, Jessica Buchanan.com, The Fox Times newspaper, Congress.gov, Huff Post, National Post, The Guardian, SpecialOps.com, Coffee or Die magazine, ABC, CBS, BBC. Yeah, right. Psych. All right. Wow. It was 1993 when 14-year-old Jessica Buchanan became interested in humanitarian work. She was living in Clarksville, Ohio with her parents, her brother and sister. And from a young age, I think she kind of knew a conventional lifestyle was not going to be her thing. She never dreamt of the white picket fence and all that. She just wanted to explore the world and somehow make a difference. Hell yeah. And she liked the idea of being a teacher, but wanted to do it elsewhere, like outside of her comfort zone. Her parents, John and Marilyn, were very supportive of that. They wanted her to follow her dreams. So after high school, she went to Valley Forge Christian College, which is now University of Valley Forge, in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, not too far from Philly. And she spent her spare time reading about Africa. She was, like, fascinated with Africa. after graduating college jessica jessica became an english teacher in kenya from 2007 to 2009 she worked at an international school in nairobi called roslin academy where she taught fourth graders and loved it and they loved her she also made friends with the other teachers like they would hang out on the weekends and one night in september 2007 her and her friend jen went to a club called Gypsies. And they weren't huge drinkers, but would dance until like three or four in the morning. Oh, my God. A fun way to blow off some steam. Sure. Sure. She also invited, on this particular night, she also invited her American friend, Evan, who was doing aid work in South Sudan. And her hope was to maybe, you know, maybe he and Jen could hit it off. It was a set. Uh-huh. But not so much. they both found other people they clicked with at the club and fun fact jen later married the man that she oh wow yeah she met her husband that night she met her husband that night okay so they each kind of deserted jessica but she was their ride so she stayed a little while and out of sheer boredom she spots a guy from across the bar who was sitting alone and she subtly waved him over she thought he was cute kind of subtle you know whatever yeah at first the guy just smiled and gave like a nod so she figured she was too subtle and this time gave like a big old arm motion and there you go come over here let's dance he made his way over and the music was so loud she couldn't really hear him but from what she gathered he was from sweden and his name was auric she told auric she needed a break from the grabby drunk guys so he kind of stepped in and they started dancing but eventually they made their way to a table to chat her intention was to chat for like 10 minutes and and go get her friends and leave. But once she realized how attractive Ork was, her plans changed. Duh. Good girl. Get it, girl. He was clean cut, almost like a military haircut, and he was charming. He was nice to a waitress, she said. Okay. Yeah. There you go. And he was sober. So she was very into it. Yeah. She learned that he was 31 and worked in Somaliland, which is North Somalia. But he often traveled to Kenya and Zimbabwe for work. Somaliland is safer and what my sources call relatively peaceful, whereas South Somalia is more of probably what you think. More dangerous. A lot of poverty. Most live on less than a dollar a day. God, I know. So Oreck was an aid worker. And from what I think it is, it's the equivalent of a human rights attorney over there, like fighting to get specifically women and children, I think, freed from being falsely imprisoned. Oh. I know. And this was a real holy shit moment for Jessica because it sounded like they shared the same compassion. Yeah. Yeah. Her kids were, yeah, the same values. That was what drew her to Africa, like, you know. Yeah. So they spent the entire night talking, and she was really into them. But when he asked for her number, she said she wasn't comfortable giving it out. And he said, that's fine. I'll give you my number. So he took out a piece of paper. He wrote down his name and number. And that's when she learned his name was actually Eric. Not Orick. Not Orick. She'd been calling him Orick all night. Well, that's the problem with these loud clubs. I'll tell you. I'll tell you what. And I'm just revealing my age here. But that is too loud. You're damn loud on those places. You have a damn conversation. And she was like, I spent most of my life studying Africa. I don't know shit about Europe. For all she knows Ork is a Swedish name. She doesn't know it. Sure, sure, sure. But it did remind me of a time, I swear this is worth it. It was my first year in D.C., 23 years old, living with three other girls, a time we refer to as freshman year D.C. And one of my roommates. And I refer to it as Ann Era. Yeah. One of my roommates hooked up with a guy, and the next morning she couldn't remember his name to save her life. But he was really hot, so she wanted to see him again. So being really clever, she went to do the number exchange and said, well, here, you put your name in my phone because I don't want to misspell it. I don't know how to spell it. And when she got her phone back, she saw that it was Tommy. I mean, she really rolled the dice with that, though. She's like, you don't know how to spell Vanderbilt? Did you? Your parents donate a building, or what happened there? Oh, my God. When he left. She really rolled the dice. So it was likely going to be a common name. I know. What was she expecting? I don't know. Because she couldn't remember it. She's like, it must be a complicated one. Okay, this is good. This is good. This is good. And it's like, Tom. T-O-M-M-Y. Got it? We were laughing so hard. The guy, I remember the guy, the rodent guy was there. He was patching a mouse hole behind our oven. And he was dying. all up we were all in the kitchen like this is so fucking funny and oh god it's so funny so anyway eric and jessica started dating both were pretty zoned into their work but they saw each other as often as they could and christmas of that year he came to the u.s for the very first time to meet her parents um they went they he flew into new york city so they like since it was his first time here they spent a couple days up there they went down to philly uh then the real culture shock, of course, for Eric was middle of America, Ohio. Way different than how he grew up in Sweden, but her parents loved him. He loved them. And eventually in 2009, after about two years of dating, they got married on a beach in Kenya. So she and Jen met their husbands that night. Oh yeah, there you go. Wow. That's awesome. And then Jessica moved to Somaliland to be with her new husband, and she began working at a regional education advisor at the Danish Demining Group, which was part of the Danish Refugee Council. It's a non-governmental, non-profit organization. You will hear me say NGO a lot. That's where she works. That's non-government organization. Okay. So listen to this. Listen to her exact job. Okay. She created training materials that taught Somali children, families, teachers, et cetera, how to avoid landmines and other unexploded weapons. I was going to say when you said listen to her job, I was going to say it's probably going to sound a lot more important than our job. Holy shit. Often children in particular would see something shiny on the ground and think it's something they can play with. And if the explosion doesn't kill them, they're left blind or without limbs or something horrible. Oh, my God. I never want to hear my kids bitch about not having enough Hot Wheels again. Right. My God. Obviously. Awful. At the end of each training, they would pass out these red, like, mind education bracelets to all the kids as a keepsake and remind them what to do, if ever, in that situation, and they would be on their way. Eventually, Eric and Jessica tried to start a family, but as we see time and time again, It proved to be very difficult. Every month they would try, and every month they were disappointed. So, yeah. In 2011, her NGO set up a three-day staff training for her, 480 miles southeast, along with her Danish colleague, Paul Thisted, who is 60 years old. They had a field office in Galkaio, which is a pretty dangerous part of Somalia, very close to the territory controlled by the terrorist group al-Shabaab. I'm scared. I know you are. And that al-Shabaab has been labeled the largest and wealthiest, most lethal group of al-Qaeda. Oh, my God. In the world. Not people you want to mess with. And because of her fear of venturing south, she canceled this training twice before. Oh, wow. Yeah. She just couldn't do it. And in October 2011, she was prepared to cancel it a third time. But her supervisor made her feel better about it by organizing a three-car caravan where she and colleague Paul would be in the security car with their security advisor, who has already cleared Jessica for safe travel. And they reminded her, like, the work she's doing was to help Somalis. Like, expats with political neutral jobs are not a terrorist group's target. This is a non-governmental organization. They're not looking at you. But even with that, things are set up to ensure her safety. So that plus reflecting on the entire reason she's there and that this training would help particularly kids, she agrees with that. Eric shares the same concerns she does and isn't quite there yet. He's not on board. He's been in this kind of political arena for about six years by this point, and he knows all about this region. And doesn't want her to go, but knowing that she's kind of backed into a corner, he stops expressing his fear because what good is that going to do when she's going? I mean, no sense in stressing her out even more. So he tells her, like, okay, just go get it done. Come back home ASAP. Trust no one, is what he says. Right. On the bright side, she realized before leaving that she was a few days late. Oh, my God. So she might actually be pregnant this time. So there's a little pep in her step, and she's leaving with high hopes. Oh, she and colleague Paul stay at the NGO guest house and the quote safer part of Galcaia. And I say safer with air quotes because they tell her not to go out on the balcony because she might get caught in crossfire. OK. Oh, gosh. If I'm her parents, I'm like, well, I want to be supportive. I'm going to get your ass on right now. Yeah. Get out. Get out of there. I thought you were in Kenya. Hey, I was supportive of Kendra. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you're scared. I'm scared. Yeah. But Somaliland is apparently beautiful and great. But that's not where she is in this conversation. Yeah. I'm scared. Okay? Got it? Got it. Yeah. But they're staying at, again, the NGO guest house. And, yes, it is pretty scary, but two of the three days of training are done on site. she doesn't even have to leave the NGO's compound at all. And those days are uneventful. The third day, though, required her and Paul to travel south of the city for a field mission. The night before they had to leave, Jessica woke up drenched in sweat because of how badly she did not want to go. Oh, my God. Poor Jessica. The dread. Oh, my God. I can't imagine the position she's in. Yeah, it would be so tough. But it was this fear that heightened the concerns she had for children who had no choice but to live there. Yeah. She's just a really good person. That's really nice. So with that in mind, she pushed the fear out of her head and somehow went to sleep. The next morning, she was still a little anxious. And to make matters worse, she felt cramps coming. She's not pregnant. So she texts Eric and says, started my period. Guess there's next month. love you and miss you so much. They reassure each other like there's plenty of time. She's only 32 at this point. There's still time. She's not going to stress about it. She's fine. Good. So she gets dressed and is actually relatively calm and probably a little relieved that this trip's almost over. Like one more day. The one she's been like the whole trip she's been dreading, but she has one more day left. So let's go, you know, let's go knock it out and go home. She even jokes with Eric, if I get kidnapped on this trip, will you come get me? And he responds, of course he will, but tells her nothing like that will happen and says he loves her too much to even think about it. So stop it. Well, less than 24 hours later, Eric gets a call from the FBI. Fuck. I knew it. Jessica had in fact been kidnapped. This episode is brought to you by Hertz. We are well into the new year and if losing weight is one of your 2026 goals and you're ready to make progress on it, then weight loss by HERS might be the right fit for you. With so many options for treatment plans, it can be overwhelming to know what actually works, what the side effects are, or who to trust. And I know you don't want to be stuck in another frustrating cycle. That's where HERS comes in. HERS offers access to doctor-developed treatment plans that are personalized to you. Through HERS, you're connected with a licensed medical provider who learned your story. Then they'll create a personalized plan to deliver healthy progress you can maintain. So no more yo-yoing, just steady results. And they go beyond medication. 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Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair. Every style, every home. So first he got a call from a guy named Dan Hardy, the regional security advisor for Jessica's company, who said Jessica and a coworker were taken by unknown forces and a crisis management team was being organized. Shit. Directly after this call, the FBI called to reiterate what Dan told them and let them know that they were aware and wouldn't close the case until she's found. Who called them first? Someone from the crisis management? No, someone from the NGO, the security advisor at her company, Paul's company. Yeah. The third and final day of training was, again, uneventful. The most nerve-wracking part was the ride there because based on a safety training Jessica had to do, like, months before, she knew they were most vulnerable while in transit. So, like, you're in the most dangerous position when you're in the car. So if you can get through the drive, you're good. And they did, safe and sound. She and Paul did their training, and it was over. She was excited to get back to the field office. One more car ride to go, and it's only 20 minutes away. So they pile into the Land Cruiser. They had a driver who was from Somali. I don't know his name. But Paul got in the passenger seat, and Jessica and their Somali security advisor, Abdu, sat in the backseat. Ten minutes into their drive, Jessica pulls out her phone and is in the middle of sending an email when a car hauled ass alongside of them, splattering mud all over their car. Oh, God. Her first thought was, what an asshole. Just thought it was like some rude guy driving carelessly. But then she heard the butt of an AK-47 hit the hood of their car, and nothing can prepare you for an adrenaline spike like that. Oh, God. I remember this in the news. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure you do. the car had but and i forget a listener i kept like when i'm researching my next story i kept coming across this randomly and i don't know how and then a listener was like hey y'all should do this but this is a pretty badass story and i was like oh okay i'll see yeah all right this is it isn't like it isn't like anything we've ever done before but here we go let's do it let's go So the car. Yeah, you should be. The car had blocked Jessica and Paul's car, forcing the driver to stop. They were surrounded by men in police uniforms, screaming in Somali and pointing guns at them. One of the men yanked Abdu's door open and ripped his seatbelt off of him. He pulled him out and hit him with the butt of the gun while he was on the ground. The man then climbed in next to Jessica, holding the AK-47 straight to her head. so close she can see the ammo cartridge. Oh, my God. So she knows just how many bullets are in there. Shit. A second attacker gets in the very back seat, and their last line of hope, that trusty Somali driver, reveals whose side he's actually on. Oh, no. And he peels out of there. And she mentioned, she was like, there wasn't the same Somali driver who took us there. But I thought it was set up by the NGO, so they just got in. But she didn't notice it. Like, you're not our driver. Oh, my God. And he was not the driver. No, no. Wow. And I mean, he's going so fast that they would at times be airborne and then slam back down on the ground. Oh, my God. So bumpy. She's scared that one wrong move on a pothole is going to cause one of these giant guns to fire. Yeah. Paul pleaded with them to please slow down. But instead, they shouted their first command that Paul and Jessica could understand, which was mobiles. Like, give us your cell phones. Yeah. But the fact that they were being robbed actually made Jessica feel better. Lately, there had been stories of several carjackings where the men would take all the victim's shit, drive them to an isolated place, and push them out of the car and drive off. So her hopeful side is thinking they're being carjacked and this will be over soon. Yeah. But the police uniforms are still throwing her off. Yeah. So as they're driving, like maniacs, the man next to Jessica, who goes by the name Ollie, forces Paul to switch with him. So now he's in the passenger seat and Paul and Jessica are next to each other. So she mouths to Paul, what's going on? And the look he gave her told her this was not a robbery. Oh, God. She said she'll never forget the look. It was a look of pity as if he was sorry to be the one to tell her that they were being kidnapped by pirates. Oh, God. Not cops, pirates. And they were heading south. Just a little sad tidbit. But due to the various countries beefing up securities at sea Somali pirates have been taking their abductions on land These are land pirates Yeah And the further south they go we all know the more dangerous The worse it is Yeah the worse the territory is All three abductors were using their own phones to call their other accomplices, and they were screaming at the top of their lungs and acting very erratically, which you would expect in a situation like this. But it was so over the top. Even Jessica was like, oh, y'all are on drugs. Something's happening. Their eyes are bloodshot. Their teeth were stained as shit. They were dangerously hyped up. And this was all because they were chewing what is called COT. I think it's K-H-A-T, which is a green leaf that is extreme, like an amphetamine-like effect. And this will be their drug of choice. They will be on it all day. It is Adderall wrapped in cocaine en masse. With a zen. a zen no not zen no oh god you don't know what a zen is i was about to say god you don't know shit sorry i thought you were saying like this is all zen no i know this is not opposite the n but it's z-y-n that's what i was referring to and i don't even really know what those are but i just know that that's the effect The uppers. Yeah. Yeah. And eventually, when you crash, your behavior becomes belligerent. You are angry until you get your next fix. Jesus. Uh-huh. Throughout this drive, they changed cars several times, and some captors would get in, some would get out. Like, they would just kind of switch, and there was no shortage of ammunition, grenades, and machine guns. They were so big, they couldn't fit inside the car, so the barrel would hang out the window. God. This is horrifying. It's so stressful. At one point, a child gets in the car with an AK-47 over his shoulder. His face is covered like the rest of the men, but based on his size, Jessica guessed about eight or nine years old. What? Although we eventually learn he's actually 11, all kids. Oh, my God. Much younger over there, obviously, because they're living on less than a dollar a day. They're little. Yeah. But, oh, my God. I know. And even though she was well aware children could be involved in stuff like this, like forced to participate, it was shocking to see it firsthand and so sad. And even sadder when she later found out that this 11-year-old boy had already killed three people in a short little life. Oh, my God. That is horrifying. Awful. Hours go by, and countless pirates have taken turns driving Paul and Jessica to an unknown location, and reality is setting in about just how outnumbered they were. Overall, they have about 26 captors involved in this abduction. But they have no idea who they work for or what group these men are with. They can only pray. It isn't an Al-Shabaab operation because if it is, their execution will be brutal. They will be tortured. And it will very likely be streamed for everyone back home. Oh, wow. Shit. At some point during their employment, they had to take that safety training I mentioned earlier. It was a hostile environment safety class, and Jessica was trying to remember everything she learned to help in the situation. She remembers the instructors telling them, if ever kidnapped, hide your emotions, especially anger, because abductors will be in a very excited state, and it will provoke them into killing you even if they don't plan to. They also said to have one reliable phone number memorized, reliable meaning they will answer when you call. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you make it the first 48 hours without being killed, your chances of surviving go up significantly. Really? Yeah. Wow. Which honestly could be bad or good in this situation. Yeah. Like, you could be alive, but you could be tortured. Right, right, right. So, how good is that? Yeah. By the time the abductors reach their final destination, it is the dead of night, and the only thing they can see are the stars. But even then, it's not lost on Jessica that she is the only woman there, putting her in a much more dangerous position than Paul, who is a 60-year-old Danish man and whose chances of being sexually assaulted were very small. Yeah. Jessica notes in her book, Impossible Odds, that these men have a strong disdain for gay people, and their homophobia would likely save Paul from any sort of rape. Jessica, however, was not safe, and she was terrified. Her muscles tightened up so much at the thought of it that it felt like her bones were going to snap. This is so sad. I know. I can already feel my nose looking a little tingly. Oh, God. I know. It's just so horrifying. I know. sorry for whoever uh reviewed us that we say oh my god and all too much all right ready get ready this is a pearl clutching episode i can't help it it's genuine reaction what do you want me to do i know even though i do remember this 2011 though i'm a dipshit who's 20 what years old what 34 i'm in dc with friends who hook up with guys and can't remember their names so we have not one worry in the world yeah like but i do remember i feel like the rescue maybe i can't remember but this is familiar but i'm sorry it's a pearl clutching episode yeah and just when she thinks she is at her peak of fear they stop the car force them out and ollie who seems to know more english than the other ones demand that paul and jessica walk into the wilderness and jessica involuntarily blurts out, no. She can't keep quiet at this point. She knows they'll be executed if they do. So she says, why? Why do we have to go out there? There's nothing out there for us. And she starts crying. But if there's one thing these men hate more than defiance, it's a woman crying. Yeah. They see a woman's emotional plea as an unfair and dishonest attempt to manipulate them. So she's beaten. She's threatened. And afterwards, Paul kind of rubs her arm and tells her they have to start walking. And she whispers to them, no, they can't. That means they're going to die. And she's too young to die. But he knows. She is. They both are. Yeah, absolutely. But he knows they have a better chance of surviving if they cooperate. If they're going to kill them, they're going to do it just as easily right there by the car. And at this point, There are about 24 abductors surrounding them with an unnecessary amount of weapons, explosives, you name it. Yeah. And they're hyped to frantic levels on cot. So without any choice, they start walking into the woods. And her mind immediately goes to journalist Daniel Pearl, who I'm sure a lot of you also remember. He worked for the Wall Street Journal and in 2002 was in Pakistan covering a story about 9-11 when he was kidnapped and held hostage for nine days before coming to a brutal end where he was mutilated and beheaded on a horrifying, very close-up video that lasted three and a half minutes that he was fully conscious for at the start of it. Absolutely horrifying, and that is what's going through her mind, as that 11-year-old little boy is pointing his AK-47 at her, laughing while making shooting noises. Oh, 11. I just cannot get over that. Creepy as shit. In addition to being horrified by this, she also can't help but to wonder what a cot addiction does to an 11-year-old's brain. Oh, yeah, he's on it too. Oh, God, chewing it all day. It makes you point AK-47s at people and laugh is what it does. But he's a little boy. He's a little boy. And what's strange is she doesn't think any of these men are his father. She's like, no one's guiding him. No one's really talking to him. She's like, I don't think. Probably not. Yeah. I don't know. I'm like, how did you get here? So after walking what seems like several miles through the woods, tripping over rocks thorns whatever jessica's leg starts to bleed and she felt this huge but strange sense of relief because she was so outside of her body she remembers thinking that she may have already died oh my god like she's so crazy what the mind does but the pain that she felt in her leg made her realize that she wasn't yeah my god what trauma does it's so incredible she was like she literally thought the execution already happened like is this the afterlife and then she got cut and was like oh okay no yeah so crazy the abductors make them stop then order them to get on their knees with their backs to the pirates she and paul reluctantly do so do what they're told and the last thing she saw in the dark ass night was the shadow of the men pulling out what appeared to be a very long blade then out of nowhere one of the men yells sleep and push her and Paul over to the ground. Oh, my God. A big old mindfuck. Yeah. A fake execution. Yeah. It was around this time Eric received the call from Dan Hardy, the security advisor, about Jessica's kidnapping. They told him he had to say nothing publicly, obviously, and do nothing except notify Jessica's family, which, oh, God. I got chills when you said that. No. Wrenching task. I'd be like, no, can you please do it? I can't. But he does. He calls Jessica's father, John, who lives in Virginia now, and he has no plan on how to break this to him. I'm getting chills just thinking about it. Me too. The Buchanans had just experienced a tragic loss when Jessica's mother got an extreme strain of the flu just about a year earlier and died from it. What? I mean, diagnosed Friday, dead by Monday. From the flu? From the flu. Holy shit. It was fast. It was so sad. That was awful. That was only a year earlier. Wow. And so they were still mourning that huge loss. So to make this phone call about one of his daughters, oh, my God. Yeah. He wasted no time, though. The moment John answered, he blurted out that Jessica and a colleague were kidnapped earlier that afternoon, and it was dead silent. All John could get out was, oh, God. God in heaven, not Jess. oh my god this poor father sorry and i think jessica's listening so i apologize that probably it's not easy what do you mean um this is a survivor story i know but she's not why do you think she listens i reached out to her you did i know no i didn't talk to her i just reached out to her. She hasn't responded yet. I think she will. Okay. I think she'll listen. I really do. Okay. She likes to raise awareness about this. Yes. That's what you're saying. Okay. Okay. I will plug all her Instagram, her books, her. Yes. I think everyone needs to follow her. Oh, good. Good. Will do. Okay. That'll be at the end. So Eric went on to tell him that they know more than they're willing to share, the FBI, everything. But he does know that she's alive. She was taken for money. It wasn't to make an anti-American statement or anything like that. And they were waiting for a ransom call. Oh, wow. John was very somber, and Eric was grateful that he didn't yell at him for not taking care of his daughter. Oh. And shortly after they hung up the phone, Jessica's father sees a bunch of FBI agents pull into his driveway. Wow. Agent Matt Espenshade, that's the one who called Eric. He's in the FBI office in Nairobi. He sent his colleagues there to walk John through how this abduction will likely go down. Oh, my God. I mean, they'd jump on it. Yeah, good. So how it works throughout captivity is that anywhere between nine and 26 abductors would watch Jessica and Paul at a time. They would work in five-day shifts alternating. They moved their campsite a lot. During the day, they would be in the woods surrounded by giant termite mounds, and at night, they would be in the open desert. Jessica and Paul would sleep on damp mats with a scarf as a blanket with the wind blowing dust constantly because they're in the desert. Right. So it was very cold at night, but during the day it was sweltering hot. They were given a piece of bread and one can of tuna every day and very little water. The idea of eating tuna with her now filthy hands disgusted Jessica, so she used the applicator of one of her tampons as a utensil. Oh, yeah. The first few days, it was a lot of yelling in Somali and beating them into submission when they didn't understand what was being said. They had one guy who knew a little English and would help translate, but for the most part, they communicated through physical abuse and pointing. Yeah. Mind you, they still have no idea who this group was and what their purpose of the abduction was. Nor does the FBI. No. Correct? Not at this point, no. Okay. But being very clever, she and Paul asked if they could use their phone, knowing obviously the answer was going to be fuck no. Right. But they could at least find out who the leader was. Like the one they all turned to, the one they all wait for an answer, that's probably going to be him. Yeah, yeah. But it turned out the leader wasn't there. One of the captors told them before anyone can communicate to the outside world, they had to wait for who they referred to as the chairman. Ooh, okay. A very businesslike title. And this came with huge relief because that is not what Al-Shabaab calls their leader. Oh, good. So now they know it's not them. Thank God. Yeah. But, you know, these – The alternative isn't great. And these groups sell – buy and sell to each other. So they're not out of the woods yet. Yeah, yeah. Sounds like they may operate in a very similar way. Yeah. The only thing they were really allowed to ask was when to use the restroom. Jessica asked if there was any toilet paper, but they had no idea what she was talking about because they typically, in this part of the region, use a bottle of water in their own hand. And then they stick their shit-filled hands in diesel water to clean them off. Wow. Yeah. So unwilling to do that, Jessica tore a few strips off of the scarf she was using as a blanket, which tells you how thin it was just yeah awful conditions yeah when her and paul tried to communicate to each other they were separated sometimes wouldn't see each other for days at a time on the fifth day of captivity jessica was watching that young boy from the first day just chewing his cot and playing with his ak-47 and she noticed oh god that he was wearing one of her mind risk education bracelets. This boy. He was one of the little boys she taught. Yes. Oh, my God. This kid was one of the kids they were fighting to protect. That is so sad. I mean, this kid's forced into it. He has no will to say no to this. I mean. Yeah. No, I know. Such a bummer. But in that, like, holy shit moment, she felt like her entire purpose in life felt worthless helping no i know and it's not she realizes that now but just seeing this kid play with a giant gun and so helping kids who seem to appreciate the training as is being done only to turn around and do this like helping a kid who has already killed three people in his life it's sad but she does know he likely had no choice in the matter no we had no choice that first week paul told their captors they needed more water and when they refused he got pissed he was he was breaking yeah and he couldn't take it anymore he screamed at them and one man jumped up so quickly charged paul with his ak-47 cocked it an inch from his face and held the trigger down no only to hear a clicking sound it was an empty chamber you're Fucking with me. They do it. I don't like that. It's constant mind games. It's another power play. Okay. Then a man named Abdi came to the site. He was one of the leaders who spoke very good English and told them that they had no plans to kill them, but they wanted big money. And with that, the chairman finally arrived, and their first proof of life call was made. there's also a guy named jabril who introduced himself as a neutral translator which from what i gather means he essentially helps facilitate these calls and he's the spokesperson for the leaders uh he said he wasn't a pirate and he says they're crazy wow those pirates are crazy so i was actually very hopeful he would be in the nicest of them all but it turns out he's not okay he'd fuck with them too and ends up being an asshole you know well so there you go They loaded Jessica and Paul in the car and drove them a few minutes to get some cell signal. They handed Jessica her cell phone to call Eric, and his phone was disconnected. No. She tried her father's. Same thing. Turns out the Danish Refugee Council, the DRC, disconnects phone numbers associated with family members as part of the organization's emergency plan. They all have to change their numbers. I'm like, so what good is memorizing another? Exactly. That's it. So they did that in response. Wait, hold on. They did that in response to her being kidnapped? Yes. Why the hell? They failed to mention, no, memorize a reliable non-family member's number, I guess. But that's part of their emergency plan. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. But it's a known, so the only number that the abductors could use was the DRC's Nairobi office, which had a negotiator, which had a hostage negotiator. Okay, so memorize that number. Memorize that number, but you likely, I don't know how they all know it, but the abductors knew it. Jabril knew that number by heart. Okay. What the hell? They were just going to try to go around, just try to get the family money, but that's not an option. They all had to change their numbers. So probably not Jabril's first rodeo. So he dials the number, and it's on speaker. They heard a man answer and identify himself as Mohammed, and Jessica's thinking this is fake. She works for the DRC and does not know anyone by that name. But this Mohammed then clarified that he's the assistant to Dan Hardy, the security advisor who she knows quite well. Yeah. So I guess either this person's using a fake name, Mohammed, that's an alias, and it's not really him, and they're not identifying themselves, or Mohammed only comes in situations like this and he's not known. Yeah. Whatever. It makes her feel better. And even more so when he starts asking her security questions. He asks her what was the name of her first dog, and she says Sadie, adding that they got her in Indiana. And he's like, yeah. Okay. And then he asks her two other questions before Jabril grabbed the phone and hung up. He was getting suspicious. but not before stating what the ransom was. Oh, okay. What was he suspicious of? They're calling the negotiator. Like, he knew that's how it worked. He was like, who is this Mohammed? Does he actually work for – he just didn't trust it. He didn't trust that part. He thought Dan was going to answer or whatever. Yeah, and he was like, who's Mohammed? Does he actually work there? And her and Paul were like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He said they have no idea who it is. They don't know that they're vouching for him because that security question was right. Like, that was it. Okay. Yeah. Okay. At the start of their employment, they all had to actually write down security questions for the situation like this. And that's just how she was like, yeah, yeah, he works there. So Jabril's getting suspicious, though, because he doesn't know Mohammed, whatever. Yeah. Or doesn't know of him. So he grabs it and hung up, but again, not before stating what the ransom was, which was $45 million. Oh, God. Jessica and Paul were stunned, telling Jabril to tell the chairman, no one has that type of money for two aid workers. The NGO will not pay that. The U.S. government will not pay that. Denmark will not pay that. They only have private family money who do not have it. Yeah. The pirates gave a very, they'll figure it out, attitude, which meant negotiations were going to take months, if not years. Mm-hmm. And Jessica at one point told them that she had a son, knowing that their culture valued mothers higher than non-mothers. Smart move on her part. Yeah. They asked her her son's name, and she was about to just pull a random name out of her ass, but quickly thought about if they spoke to Eric during one of these negotiation calls and mentioned their son. She didn't want Eric to be thrown off if they said, like, Sam, you know. Yeah, yeah. So she said his name was Smulan, which is their dog's name. Oh. Knowing that if they had mentioned, like, your son Smulan to Eric, that he would catch on really quickly and play along. Okay. Wow. That's quick thinking. Quick. Afterwards, they forced them on their drenched mats, holding guns to their heads, and shouted the command to sleep, how they ended their day every day, every single night. Meanwhile, back at home, Eric was in regular contact with his assigned FBI agent, Matt Espenshade. who kept him updated on where things are but couldn't tell him much, obviously. So it was mainly Matt talking Eric out of wanting to go find her himself, which he was very adamant on doing. Oh, my God. He's lived in Somaliland for years now. He had some connections, genuinely wanted to go look for her. But luckily, Matt scared him straight, told him he would, without a doubt, die. Yeah. He would ruin their negotiations, and he would have Jessica killed. So no. But thanks. Yeah. We got this. Do not get involved. So feeling absolutely helpless, he spent his days writing Jessica Love Letters, apologizing for not being able to come get her like he promised he would in their last text. Oh, my God. I forgot about that. This is heartbreaking. So sad. And Jessica's father, John, had regular meetings at FBI headquarters. But, again, most of the information was held under wraps. their conditions back in the encampment were disgusting and unsanitary they would all share a bowl whenever they would get whenever they were able to get something other than a can of tuna a bowl for roughly 30 people including jessica and paul a few utensils that most would use their hands knowing how they wiped themselves it was no surprise that jessica felt some sort of stomach bug coming on. Yeah. After she would vomit, they would pour the water with diesel in it to cover up the smell. It's filthy. Yeah. But even worse than that, within the first week of captivity, Jessica felt a UTI coming on. That's a urinary tract infection. I don't know if anyone doesn't know that on here, but I've never had one, thank God. Oh God, I've had one. They're awful. Oh God. Yeah, not something you want to get in captivity under these conditions. Fuck no. Jessica knew what medicine she needed and explained that to the hostage negotiator on the next call. So they arranged for a doctor to come out. What? Yeah, and bring the medicine. But, of course, the pirates did not follow through on that. They offered both of them a chance to take their first bath, which was a bucket of water with a little soap in it. still Jessica knew getting even a little bit clean may help her condition mentally and physically. Yeah. But it meant undressing in front of all these men who are very capable of rape. Yeah. The anxiety of the experience wasn't worth the risk, but she took it anyway, given how sick she was getting. And luckily they left her alone and nothing happened. Nothing happened to her. And shockingly, I'll tell you right now, nothing ever will. Really? I was going to ask, does it? That's so crazy. No, she was never raped or she was never, what she says, a full sexual attack never happened, meaning penetration never happened. That said, I have no doubt that time was limited on that. The guys, Jabril and Abdi in particular, seemed to be circling her like prey. Once when she was asleep, she woke up to Jabril putting his hand under her makeshift blanket and rubbing her leg. Oh, God. She pretended to be asleep and turned the other direction, and luckily he stopped, but he was invading her personal space more and more each day. Yeah. As was Abdi. So she was on eggshells, not knowing when these men would finally snap and attack her. The only reason it hadn't happened yet was in huge part, she thinks, because of a man they referred to as helper. He was the pirate's driver and would deliver supplies and the cot to the group. Out of the 26 men, he was the one they felt most comfortable around. He was intensely religious, which they all claimed to be, but Helper actually lived by his faith. The others hid behind it. He did not want to be there. When the leaders forced him to do something to Jessica and Paul, whether it be smack him across the face or make him do a chore or a humiliating task, he did so in the most respectful way he could and reassured them he was not a pirate he had no choice but to help the pirates because he had eight kids to feed oh my god but when no one was looking he would do like little favors for them and when he could hence the nickname helper yeah anytime jessica and paul would disobey and they were separated helper would bring the two back together if the leaders weren't around. He once snuck them some watermelon, which would be fucking gold in that situation. Yeah, for real. So thirst-quenching. Yeah. He also slept next to Jessica every night and kind of shielded her, which she assumes was so she wouldn't be assaulted. Wow, and she never was. She never was. That is. But she thinks a huge part to him. Oh, my gosh. That's a relief. Yeah. I mean, that's torture anyway. I know. That she never was. That's good. Yeah, that's a whole new level of trauma healing. Yeah. Yeah, it would be. And I think it would end differently, honestly. Yeah. Still, though, as time went on, the other men started getting very agitated that negotiations weren't going their way, especially when the cot was wearing off. There was one day Abdi started demanding to know where big money was to Paul, and when he couldn't answer, he was beating him relentlessly with a stick. Paul was crying. He was screaming that Mohammed was working on getting a counteroffer, but Abdi was seeing red on this day. Oh, my God. And wouldn't lit up. Then he turned his attention to Jessica and forced her off her mat and made them both walk into the open desert, screaming at them like drill sergeants and beating them with the stick. Then he made them stop, squat under a bush, and got inches of Jessica's face just glaring in her eyes with his own dead bloodshot eyes and body odor she could choke on. And writes 18 in the sand and says, I get 18 million in seven days or I cut off your head. Oh they made a proof of life video this time where the pirates propped up their machine guns behind Jessica and Paul and gave them orders on what to say basically identifying themselves and two messages that they needed to get across which was one tell their families to do more because things weren going in the right direction And to tell the American military not to attack OK God And also it is going in the right direction and two tell the American military not to attack Okay Good And also it is going in the right direction because you just cut your price more than half Yeah. Fuck off. Yeah, exactly. And there is the video, and I will post it. No, you will not. You can't hear anything. The wind's – I mean, you can, but the wind's bad. Or I'll post a screenshot, whatever. I'm scared. Well, she's posted on her Instagram, so. Okay. The only reason I wouldn't was anything Jessica says. I'm not, if she responds and says I'm not allowed to, I won't. But. Yeah. She wants to raise awareness too. I know. Another side effect of COT was paranoia. And they often heard this buzzing sound from what they assumed was a generator from a nearby village. But when the drugs were wearing off, all the pirates thought they were convinced it was American airplanes flying over them to spy on them. Oh, yeah, I bet. Jessica reassured them the amount of money it would take to fly to Somalia just to even put them under surveillance isn't something the U.S. would do for one American hostage and her colleague. She just doesn't – she doesn't even think the U.S. government is aware of this abduction. To her, it's between the pirates and the NGO, their employer. But in reality, President Barack Obama was briefed on her situation every single fucking day, and intelligence was working day and night to find them. Hell yeah. And plus, our military helicopters are so quiet, you're not going to hear a damn thing, dude. Yeah. Fucker. Yeah. No, they won't. It would be a drone, if anything, right? Oh, okay. Foreshadowing. Maybe. Oh, my God. Maybe. Some information is still classified. I only have the declassified shit here. Hell yeah. I don't know what day in captivity this was, but finally, Danish Refugee Council did make an offer of $1.5 million. Okay. Strangely enough, after this counter was made, Abdi forced Paul and Jessica to take a bath, pack all their shit up. What? And load up in the car and silently drove them to the airport. I don't think they knew what the offer was, but who cares? It was accepted, and now an exchange was being made. Or so they thought. Stop. Abdi pulled up to the airport, told them that if the full ransom wasn't paid, they would never see an airplane again, and drove them back to the desert. I'm so annoyed. How fucked up is it constantly screwed with them? And just because UTI is worsening every day. Oh, no, I cannot hear. Every move was painful. But she found the best way to escape from this hell was to sit with her eyes closed and go through every moment in her life that she could think of, starting from her very first memory when she was like four or something with her mom, what she was wearing that day, what her mom was wearing that day, went through every detail she could think of, and then she'd go on to the next memory. She would replay her life as a movie, just what she calls walking through her memories. to escape reality. And at night, she would lay down. Oh, God, this is so. This is making me tear up. I know. This is a tough one. At night, she would lay down on her mat and wait for the first star to come out, which she referred to as her mom. Oh, sorry. Hold on. So in the book, she says she would lay on her mat and wait for her mom to come out so she could talk to her. Oh, my God. What the fuck are you doing? I know. I'm sorry. the worst that person who wrote the review has definitely turned this off by now good no law no no get out of here get out of here gal gal oh my god that made me cry i know she said she still loves us but just stop with the oh my god i'm like well do you hear her fucking stories i don't know what to tell you how are you not you're saying it too it's just you want us to edit them out and that we can't sorry that's what the reaction what can we do um with the untreated uti her pain was getting worse and the fetal position was the only way she was comfortable on top of that she was starting to get a fever oh god she was in such pain she could hardly speak but crying even involuntarily was unacceptable they would poke barrels of their loaded machine guns telling her to shut up once even firing inches away from her head just to set her straight i'm like you're not setting me straight dude what the fuck do you think you're doing paul begged one of the leaders obdi to get a doctor convincing them that zero ransom would be paid if she's dead right so they finally agreed your whole operation she has to stay alive Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, no, we just need her alive. We don't need her well. She could be barely alive. They don't give a fuck. Oh. Here's a little tidbit. The U.S. and the NGO sent them the correct medicine to give her, and they wouldn't. They withheld it the entire time. But they did finally agree to get a local doctor there at the NGO's expense. So they paid the captors $12,000 in order for this guy to come out there and prescribe her whatever medicine. But this doctor did a half-assed job. I don't even think it was a doctor. He checked her vitals, and then he threw a bag of pills at her, none of which were the right medicine, making it very clear who side he was on, especially when he stayed to participate in the cot chewing. Oh, my God. And he said he would be back to monitor Jessica, but he never came back. That's the last time we see the doctor. I'm so pissed. Thanks for nothing, asshole. Right. Again, yeah, the U.S. and NGO, the U.S. sent the NGO the correct medicine, but the captors withheld it. So she's just in agony. Soon, that seven-day timeline they gave for the $18 million, or they were getting beheaded, that was up. And luckily, they weren't beheaded. However, the rage from their captors was getting worse with every failed negotiation. Obviously, the $1.5 million counter was rejected, if that wasn't clear before. The chairman guy stopped coming around, and a new leader arrived, whose name was Bashir, and he was scary. When he flew into a rage, everyone in camp got out of his way. Shit. Deeks into this hell. Bashir had another call with the negotiators, and he did not hear what he wanted to hear. And as a result, it was the scariest episode yet. He stormed over to where Paul was being held under a tree, demanding to know where the big money was. Paul put up his hands in a surrender stance and told him he doesn't know. So Bashir pointed his AK-47 at him and told Paul to stand up. He then made him put on a shirt, and Paul seemed to know what was coming because he, in a quiet panic, whispered, Bashir, why are you doing this? What did I do? oh god who do they think there's someone else no i mean they're working for a not no no no no oh and jessica are someone else yes they're like we're aid workers they don't right they're working for a non-profit what big money are you talking about right they think americans can figure it out okay she's american you're with her you're collateral damage sorry i just i'm so confused Like, we don't fucking know where the big money is. That's big money in America, too. So when they were kidnapping at sea, they could get that type of money. Well, yeah, because they're getting on huge-ass ships. Cargo ships, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that. They're like, they'll figure it out. They figured it out then. They'll figure it out now. And there were, during captivity, helper would sometimes let them listen to the radio. and there was two men held hostage. I don't know their nationality. I don't remember. I don't want to fuck it up, so I won't even guess. But they were successfully paid $35 million. Oh, my God. Yeah. So they're like, okay, we can get that in. We'll get it. Yeah. Oh, God. They weren't aid workers. I don't know what their situation was. I forget. But, yeah, so they're thinking, no, no, no, no, we got this. Anyway. Yeah. So Bashir is in Paul's face. Paul seems to know what's about to happen. He's whispering, why are you doing this? What did I do? Bashir glared at him, then yelled what Paul and Jessica had been fearing all along. Oh, God. He said, I sell you to al-Shabaab for $5 million USD. Walk. Oh, no. And forced him towards the car. Remember, this is al-Qaeda's wealthiest group. They have $5 million. They'll do it. That's average. Through extortion alone, Al Shabazz brings in somewhere between 100 and 200 million U.S. dollars a year. Oh, my God. They're rich, rich and dangerous, not in the business of sparing someone's life or killing them quickly. Jessica is crying uncontrollably. She doesn't give a fuck about trying to hide it. She was screaming, begging for them not to take Paul. Oh, no. I know. That's her lifeline. Yeah. That's her only thing, oh, God, comfortable. And for the first time, the rest of the men don't reprimand her. Oh, no. At all. Except for Bashir, who pressed his machine gun to her shoulder and told her to shut up as he's forcing Paul into the Land Cruiser, and he's driven away. No. Bashir then walked back to Jessica and yelled for Jabril to call the NGO and let them know Paul was gone. And he does, but this time Jessica grabs the phone, grabs it from Jabril, and yells at them to do something to get them both out of there. Remember, by this point, it hurts for her to talk. So she's fucking letting him have it, letting Mohammed. Or I think by this point, the negotiator's name is going by Alex. It's a new person every time. Letting them have it. The negotiator tells them they're doing everything they can, and she essentially says bullshit. She's furious. And just it's a release of emotions. That's when Jabril grabs the phone, hangs up the call, and then they all just laugh at her. Jessica. So sad. But she is such a badass. She's such a badass. So with Paul gone, all the attention was on her. And it was hell, to say the least. Constant mind games. Constant abuse. I mean, even the helper was, you know, again, paid to beat her. They're being paid to be there. He has to. He has a family. Along with walking through her memories, she got really good at envisioning the future with Eric. She thought about being in their apartment with their dog on their big fluffy bed. She's laying in Eric's arms, and she drifts off to sleep while holding their baby. I was about to say with a little baby. With a little baby in her arms. She said it was a boy. She just kept picturing. And it almost became hypnotic. She spent hours in this mental journey whenever the captors would allow her that much quiet time. And it was so real and lifelike that it gave her, like, a boost of strength every time. It's just so impressive what the mind is capable of. So nice. A few days later, the car pulls up and Paul steps out. What? No explanation. No reaction from the others. Another mind fuckery. What are we doing? Sorry. I hate this. I know. I'm sorry. They immediately separated the two, so Jessica couldn't even say, like, what the fuck happened? What happened? I can't imagine the mental torment he went through thinking he was being sold to Al Qaeda. Yeah, yeah. Fuck. Before they knew it, it was Christmas. They had been held hostage for almost three months, and the captors went down to $9 million USD ransom. Jessica and Paul had no idea where the negotiations were from the NGO side, but Jessica was starting to get a kidney infection. Fuck. Cannot go untreated at all. Yeah. During their next negotiation call, Jessica told them she doesn't think she'll make it much longer. She told them to tell Eric she loved them. Oh, God. Sorry. And that the doctor they hired for $12,000 never came back, which is something the U.S. military actually already knew. They knew the captors never gave her the medicine they sent. They knew Paul wasn't sold to Al-Shabaab. They knew how many times a day she threw up. They knew everything. Who? Because they're being watched. Okay, fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Oh! This episode is brought to you by Pharma Nutra. It's a new year, and if you've been listening to us for a while, you know that we're putting health first in 2026. That means getting better sleep, exercising, and staying consistent. 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Promo code PATW. you starting a business can be overwhelming you're juggling multiple roles designer marketer logistics manager all while bringing your vision to life shopify helps millions of business sell online build fast with templates and ai descriptions and photos inventory and shipping sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at shopify.nl that's shopify.nl it's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and Start selling today at Shopify.nl. That's Shopify.nl. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. Starting a business can be overwhelming. You're juggling multiple roles, designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at Shopify dot NL. That's Shopify dot NL. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. OK, we're about to get into some badassery. Oh, my God. Thank God. We're here. We need this. Almost. We need this. Now, how the U.S. military was able to put them under surveillance, we don't know exactly because that information is still classified, but I do not think the buzzing they heard at night was from a generator. It really was. Just saying. Oh, it very well could have been, but speculation is it was a drone. Yeah. If they employed a drone to do an aerial surveillance, it would be able to circle the entire area beyond visual range. So no one see it and would have been able to sit idly for hours, taking crystal clear pictures and videos, no matter the time of day. There's no way it's that loud. There's no way it's that loud. That was something else. Yeah, maybe not. But the pirates' entire strategy, sleeping in the desert at night, was because it was so dark they didn't think anyone could see the night from the sky. But they had no idea what technology was available over here. Yeah. It had been about 90 days since the kidnapping, and given her deteriorating condition, the FBI and U.S. military consulted doctors who estimated that Jessica had two weeks tops. Stop. Her kidneys were quickly failing, and if untreated, she could be dead in a matter of days. Yeah. And this is when President Obama gave the order to go in and get her. Hell yes. And it was going to be a SEAL Team 6 operation. Shut the hell up. Rock and roll. Let's go. A mission they've been working on for months. I have chills. SEAL Team 6 still hyped up from killing Osama Bin Laden only months before. Holy shit. Yeah. Okay. Badassery. Oh, my God. Let me just give some background in SEAL Team 6. First of all, we – This is unlike anything we've covered. It's unlike we've ever covered. But I feel like we need this over here. We do. This badassery. Yes. Yeah, we do need it. As Americans. Yeah, put a little pep in your step. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go. Okay, let me just explain SEAL Team 6 a little bit. They are – Oh, yeah. Yeah. They are one of the United States' most elite and secretive military special operations unit, and they are machines. Uh-huh. They do not come to play. Mm-mm. They quite literally come to slay. Yes, they do. They are the Navy's top-tier hostage rescue and counterterrorism team and have pretty much unlimited resources at their disposal. Mm-hmm. They do kill missions, and their identities aren't known. A lot of their recruitment and training is not known. It's classified information. But it's a small percent of who can actually make it because you have to be a machine. Yeah. I mean, some voluntarily reveal themselves once they're no longer in it. We all know Rob O'Neill was the guy who actually fired the shot at Osama Madden. See, he came for it. No, actually, I'm just kidding. I think his name was actually leaked after an anonymous interview. But after that, he's been public. He's been in a lot of interviews. How long did you keep that under wraps? I'm mean. For real. He was in that Hunting Bin Laden documentary, which, holy shit, is mind-bending. And so these are elite of elite, top tier, secretive. That's who you want looking for you. That's who you want looking for you. And fun fact, there's actually SEAL Teams 1 and 2, and then in 1980 or something, they created SEAL Team 6 to confuse Soviet intelligence into thinking that there are three other teams they didn't know about. Oh, yeah. There you go. They're like, holy shit. Wait, we know about Teams 1, 2, and 6. We're at 3, 4, and 5. Oh, my God. I know. It's funny. So Obama sent 24 of these guys to raid the Pirates campsite, and they had to do it quickly. This is priority number one. Meanwhile, Jessica and Paul were having the same day they've had for the last three months. But on January 24th, this was the night of the new moon, which happens like once a month in the Middle East, and it causes complete darkness. The sky is completely black. You can't see shit. Wow. Being in so much pain, Jessica can't really sleep. So she's just looking at the big black sky, waiting for her mom to come out. She can't see anything. And all she hears are these pirates snoring. She realizes how bad she has to pee. And usually there's someone up all night to watch them. And she can ask that guy for permission. So she calls out, toilet. But all she hears is snoring. Wow. The cot intake that day was extreme. So it's the first time they all crashed at the same time. No one's awake. Holy shit. So she's on her mat and she says it louder and no one answers. So she's getting annoyed and yells like, help her, wake up, and practically yells, toilet, and no one responds. So she says, fuck this, and gets up. But she does take this little pen light in case someone does wake up so she can let them know, like, I was just peeing. I'm in the designated bush. Here's my pen light. You can see me. Not trying to run. um but so she goes to the bathroom and gets back on her mat still hearing the pirates snoring and the animals walking around in the distance which usually makes her on edge but at this point she's like i don't give a shit if i'm a tactile animal yeah really what a dream but these are ideal conditions for seal team six well it's ideal to escape it cross i know but of course she's not i mean well it crosses her mind right find paul's mat wake him up and right be it let's yeah i know Get the fuck out of there. Sure, but. But given how weak she is, she doesn't think she can make it 100 yards, let alone 100 miles to safety. Right. No food, no water. She has no idea where she is. She could walk in a circle. Jurassic weight loss. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, Paul could get them out of there. He's lived there forever. But no, she can't physically do it. So it's a fleeting thought and an unnecessary one. Because those aren't animals she hears in the distance. Oh. The seals are coming. It is an animal. It's a seal. And he's pissed. They're pissed. They are fucking animals, and they're coming. Holy shit. Can I just say, out of curiosity. I'm so scared. Out of curiosity. And excited. Okay. Out of curiosity, I was like, I really want to deliver a badass look. So I asked ChatGPT, what's a badass way to say Seal Team 6 is inbound? And the suggestions were, America's most lethal door knockers just got the address. Please stop asking ChatGBT stuff like that. And then they also suggested. Just got the address. The nation's sharpest blade is in motion. Oh, my God. You immediately closed ChatGBT. You didn't understand the assignment. That's a badass. Just a badass. I was trying to get something exciting going. No, this is very exciting. So anyway, America's Most Lethal Door Knockers just got the address and they had no idea. Please stop. I'm kidding. It's so cheesy. Now, I'll be switching perspectives here. Okay. Because Justin Sheffield is a former member of SEAL Team 6, and he led this operation and wrote a book called Mob 6, A SEAL Team 6 Operators Battles in the Fight for Good Over Evil. Oh, my God. Detailing some of the missions they faced. And Chapter 13 is Jessica and Paul's rescue. So let's fucking go. LFG. They were stationed at Camp Limonier in Djibouti. So they weren't, you know, coming in hot from the U.S. God, that would be such a long flight before a raid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. January 24th, 2012 was the night of the new moon. So the decision to execute the mission on this night was by design. Pretty sure they did the same thing when killing bin Laden. A pitch black sky is the ideal condition for these dudes to jump out of an airplane undetected. Right, right. And Justin Shelfield counted all 23 operators as they boarded the C-130 airplane. I'm getting chills. I'm getting goosebumps. Oh, my God. I'm so excited. And he checked everyone's oxygen levels because this was going to be a 20,000-foot jump parachuting into Somalia. So they needed as much oxygen as possible. Yeah. For comparison, recreational skydiving is usually like 8,000 to 10,000 feet in the air. Yeah. So there you go. This is double. During the two-and-a-half-hour flight, most of the operators slept, which, how? I know. Justin couldn't, though. He hadn't eaten anything. He hadn't slept. But his adrenaline was pumping. Oh, my God. You have headphones on? Mm-mm. Yeah, for sure. Just getting pumped up. Just getting pumped up, listening to God knows what. Yeah. Once they were 20 minutes away, all the operators woke up and prepared to jump. One thing they didn't anticipate was 40 mile per hour winds. Oh, God. That's double what would normally cancel a jump. Like if the wind's 20 miles per hour, they can abort mission. Yeah. But due to Jessica's condition, they all accepted the risk and agreed to do it anyway. Shit. The ramp to the C-130 opened, and even their night vision goggles weren't helping them see. It was so dark. Usually in these situations, there's some sort of ambient light on the ground, but they couldn't even see a horizon. Nothing was out there. A big black hole is what they are jumping towards. But onward and upward, each operator grabbed their gear, which weighed 150 pounds, threw it on their back, and jumped, falling 120 miles per hour. Holy shit. Their parachutes opened up. So Justin and his fellow operators fell into the desert one by one, and because of the wind, they were descending at 109 miles per hour with their parachutes. Oh, I'm sweating. That is a lot faster than normal. Again, by comparison. No comparison needed. I know, but just so you're aware. I know how fast that is. No, that's holy shit. But if you are skydiving, once you pull your parachute, the average descent rate is 15 miles per hour. 15. And they seem like they're coming in hot. I would not know. I would not know. No, I mean like recreational skydiving. It feels like when you see videos of them landing, I'm like, I feel like you're going fast. I know. They're fast landing. Yeah, it does seem like that. 109 miles per hour. The operators are going 109 in the pitch black dark. And since they can't see the ground or landing zone, there were moments of extreme vertigo causing them to be very disoriented when they landed. Yeah, that. Justin landed in a thorn bush, and he heard some fellow operators land nearby, but others landed much further away. One dude landed four football fields away from the group. Once they were on the ground, they detached from the parachutes and put them in a pile later to be exploded. and quietly made their way towards where they think the campsite is. Wait, there are no injuries in that? No. Oh, my God. These guys are tanks. Still, I mean, it's even tanks. That is unbelievable. Out of 23 of them landing like that. No, they're fine. There's not a broken ankle. 24. There's not a broken leg. Nope. There's not. Oh, God. Okay. Wow. So they start quietly walking towards the campsite, and they are surrounded by hyenas. They can hear them. They cannot see them, but Justin estimates there are at least 12. Holy shit. And they all howling and screaming right next to them They like shut the fuck up Wow I put this gun to your head Shut up Yeah easy They all converged And like I said they threw their parachute bags into a pile so they could explode that pile when they left to cover up any evidence. Justin is constantly updating the pilots of the Black Hawk helicopters that are nearby who are ready to take them the fuck out of there at a moment's notice. Sure. He tells them they're walking towards the compound. The entire mission is being live streamed to multiple military command centers around the world. Oh, my God. This is so batshit crazy. Oh, my God. I have goosebumps. When the SEALs were about a half mile away, 700 meters. Look, I converted it because I care. I care. Justin requested an update from airborne surveillance to confirm the number of pirates and the location of them, make sure they're walking the right way. But the clouds had obscured their surveillance, and a solar flare was messing with the radio communications. So the operators had zero help from the sky. Zero. Oh, I thought they were going to be like, hey, guess what? Good news, they're all dead ass asleep. No. So actually, that comes into play, and it turns out no. And they're like, oh, hell yeah, we'll just walk up normal. No, he doesn't say that. But hold on. We'll get there. Okay. 0.3 miles away, about 500 meters, they reach their last point of coverage before they're in the open desert. Justin said this point marks the beginning of one of the longest hours of their lives. Oh, my God. The night was so black, their night vision goggles looked like an old TV when the cable went out. And the dust storm from the wind was just nailing them as they made their way closer. Then Justin looked through his thermal scope and radios to the others to stop moving. And then he whispers, bad news, boys, everyone's awake. What? But here's the thing. They weren't. I think the graininess of the night caused his mind to kind of see things that weren't there. But as we know from Jessica's point of view, everyone was out cold except her. But it wasn't until they were 500 feet away when they could finally see the camp and everything became way more clear. In his thermal scope, Justin sees two moving heat signatures because, you know, it detects body heat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he and the seals once again stop moving. Jessica hears what she thinks is an animal getting closer, and eventually Helper, who is right next to her, hears it too and wakes up. Oh, God. Oh, my God. He is looking straight into Justin's scope, but, of course, doesn't realize it because, again, dark as sure. But he whispers to the other pirates to wake up, and he slowly reaches for his AK-47 and stands up. And it's clear he now sees the seals. Oh, my God. The seals have been spotted. Oh, God. And an explosion of bullets erupt. Jessica got under her blanket and took cover. But for a moment, the helper's face was lit up by all the gunfire. And all she saw was terror in his eyes as the bullets hit him. Oh, yeah. She said in her book, it was the face of a man who knew he would never see his children again. Oh, my God. That's a tough one. Two others jumped up, yelling at the encampment to get up and grab their guns, but it was a useless command because the SEALs were already loading their machine guns. How are – where are Jessica and Paul at this point? They don't know. They have to be careful. They do not know which figure is Jessica, which one's Paul, which one are the pirates. Suddenly, nine Somali pirates appear in their scope. They're holding guns. So they got a pretty good idea now. Yeah. Jessica's not going to be one of them. Yeah. Every seal in that desert just starts running towards them. A full sprint while holding down the triggers. Oh, my God. Towards the pirates who are all still trying to load their weapons. They had to be careful, though, again, because they have no idea where Jessica and Paul were. Once they're at the campsite, they found Jessica lying between two pirates who are both dead. One of the SEALs jumps on her to protect her from the rest of the gunfire, and her face is sheer terror because she does not know what's going on. She thought this was another group coming to take her and Paul. Yeah, I bet. So she's vigorously shaking in fear as the gunshots come to a complete stop. Then she feels these very strong hands yank her blanket, and she's holding on to it for dear life. She yanks it back. Oh, God. She hears a man's voice yell, Jessica. And she's taken aback because, one, she hasn't heard her name correctly in three months. Yeah. And, two, it was an American accent. Uh-huh. I'm, like, shaking as I am. I have such chills. I'm dying. When I held out that, too, my hands are shaking. But it's still a mindfuck. She's so disoriented, under extreme stress. So she's not sure if she actually, if what's actually happening until Justin tells her, this is the U.S. military. We've come to take you home. He grabs her off the ground, throws her over his shoulder, and fucking takes off running. The other seals form a circle around them as a shield in case some pirates are hiding or return gunfire. Yeah. Wait, where's Paul? So he's there too. Okay. They don't realize it. She doesn't realize it yet. I have to wonder what the vibe is at this point in those command posts and those command centers. Oh, they're streaming. That are live streaming this. They're like. They're clapping, cheering. Oh, my God. I know. I thought that would be the case for Bin Laden and Mission 2, but it was dead silent until Obama's dead. We got him. Yeah. Anyway. So I think they're. They probably don't know what's going on. All they hear is yelling, yelling. They don't know. Yeah, yeah. Okay. They ran as far as they could, as far as Justin could. He physically could not run anymore. That's when he put her down because they were clear of the encampment and the gunfire, and the medics took over. Thank God. The medics are right there. They took her vitals, and they told her, again, that she was safe, and all she can say is, are y'all American? Are y'all American? Like, it's not even registering. She's in complete shock. Yeah. Then she realized she doesn't know where Paul is and asked, like, wait, you'll need to get Paul. Is Paul safe? And he's like, Jessica, I'm right here. He's right next to her. Oh, my God. I mean, this is dark, man. Yeah. Yeah, he's there. Justin asked her if she had any shoes, and she says, like, yeah, I don't know where they are. Don't feel the need to go get. Yeah, we're good. Before she finishes her sentence, he takes off towards the campsite. Stop it. Runs back. No, no. He returns. Justin, come back. It's fine. It's a loss. Well, let's just, we'll get new ones. Yeah. He returns with her shoes and asks if she had any other personal items. And she told him, yes, a small black pallet. She had her thyroid medicine in it. But, again, do not risk going back. Takes off again. Yes. Justin. You. Wait. They let her take thyroid medication? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Just because she had it on her? Yeah. She had it in her purse with her at the training. So, it's just fair. God. When he comes back, she's like, do not risk going over there again. They could be hiding. They could be more of them. And he says, look, we're SEAL Team 6. We will kill anyone who tries to harm you. I am done here. And that they did because every single pirate on that campsite was dead, and there was not one scratch on the men who did it. Hell yeah. Not one broken fingernail. Oh, my God. And tell them about the conditions again landing out of that airplane. No shit. Oh, my God. Remember when I got an ulcer over my insurance job? I'm soft. I'm weak. I do. I'm weak. I do. Once they determined all of her abductors were dead, there weren't any hiding, they searched through the encampment for potential intelligence and gathered all of their weapons. There were several AK-47s, five belt-fed machine guns, a shitload of ammo, and multiple, multiple RPGs. That's rocket-propelled grenades. Holy shit. Justin said this inventory was really impressive for non-Somali pirates. Yeah. They threw them in a large demolition pile with their parachutes, and then the explosive ordnance disposal specialist blew up the pile. you and your dangerous friends won't be needing these did it wipe that wherever they are off the map huge explosion huge explosion no don't wipe it off the map that's what they do that is I cannot imagine leave them on the grounds for the record no I know but those hyenas weren't there anymore I'll tell you about it right now that's probably true It's probably true. Holy shit. Weren't screaming anymore, were they? Damn. Which is sad for the wildlife. Which is sad for the wildlife. Sorry. It was in the open desert. I don't actually think. They didn't do it in the wilderness. Oh, okay. It would be a huge fire. That's what I'm saying. No. Oh, yeah. They're in the desert. I forgot. By 2.30 a.m., 45 minutes after the seals landed, Jessica and Paul were sitting on one of the Black Hawk helicopters. and the final thing Justin said was, my name is Justin. It was the pleasure of my life to come and rescue you from this hell. I'll probably never see you again, but please know that we'll continue to pray for your recovery. For now, it's time to go home. And Paul turned to Jessica and said, I told you they would come. I am dying. I'm sweating and I have the most chills. I know. What are you talking about? They were flown to Djibouti, which was a two-hour flight, and she said the men were wonderful the entire way, offering them food, water, whatever they needed, but trying to participate in conversation, she said, was like riding with your opposite hand. It felt unnatural and uncomfortable. The only real words she could say were thank you, which she repeatedly told them. As any of them walked past her down the aisle or whatever, she walked past them. Thank you. Thank you. Oh my God. Thank you. Here reality hit. Stop. When mid flight, one of the seals placed a very neatly folded American flag on her lap. And she simply said, I've never been more proud to be an American. Oh my God. Oh, then it's rare that we make each other cry. I know it's just, Oh God. Hey, yeah, this does put of pepping my stuff. I know. I'm like, fuck yeah. The beginning doesn't. The beginning almost walked out. But now, now, fuck yeah. Fuck yes. Then the FBI hostage rescue team member on scene pulled a patch from his uniform and said it was custom to give it to a successful rescued hostage. Once they landed in Djibouti, there was a whole new crew ready to whisk her umpala away to get, you know, medical care, all that shit. She turned to the helicopter to say thank you to the SEALs one more time, but they were already gone. She'll never know who actually. On to the next. On to the next. She'll never know who actually rescued her that day. She'll never meet them. She never even knew what they looked like. They're all wearing black masks. Yeah. Obviously, Eric nor her father had any idea this mission was being planned. So Jessica's father was shocked. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Don't do it. Get ready. when his phone rang that night and he heard a woman's voice say, the next voice you hear will be the President of the United States. Oh. God, so emotional. Remember when I said I really think I could get through this without crying? No. Yeah, you're a chump. I was joking, guys. Y'all thought I was going to take her seriously, right? After a brief pause, he heard. Are you going to do an impression? Please don't. No. Try to do a Barack Obama impression. No, I wouldn't. After a brief pause, he heard, John, this is Barack Obama. I wanted to let you know as one father to another that your daughter has been successfully rescued. She's alive and she's coming home. Stop! Golly! I feel like every time you've gotten me, I've said stop in a teary voice. Again, I'm sorry. There's a picture of him making the call and Michelle is right next to him. I'll post it. It is incredible. Oh, God. Once they did all the, you know, post-rescue things, medical exams, psychological exams, interviews, the things they do to kidnap victims, they flew her to the U.S. Navy Air Station in Sicily where she was reunited with her family and Eric. Oh, good, Eric. Eric being one of her family, obviously. Oh, yeah. And it was only then she realized thousands, not hundreds, thousands of people were working on their rescue. Oh, yeah. Agent Matt Espenshelf was in the Army for eight years and in the FBI for 17 years and said he has never seen so many people working to retrieve one American citizen. Really? Yeah. Throughout this entire thing, Eric was seeing a counselor, I think provided by Department of Justice, and learned that if Jessica made it out alive, she might want space. She may even want a separation for a while. Yeah. Whatever. Trauma. Yeah. Yeah, so he was prepared for that, and after being reunited with her, he said, the first thing he says, like, I'll give you whatever you want. If you need space, I'll give you space, whatever you need, being a sweetheart. And she wrapped her arms around him and said, F no. It was their future together. Yeah, I want to be with you. It was our future together. They kept me going the entire time, and she wanted him to be as close as possible. Oh. One week later, stop. She got pregnant. I knew it. Literally nine months later. I knew it. Got rescued January 2012, had a baby October 2012. Shut up. And it was a boy. Oh, my God. Oh, God. So emotional. On January 24th, 2012, Obama addressed the media about the rescue, saying, the United States will not tolerate the abduction of our people, and we will spare no effort to secure the safety of our citizens and to bring their captors justice. Hell yeah. Now, a few of the leaders were not there during the raid. You know that. The chairman wasn't there, Abdi, nor Jabril. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was Jabril's phone they used for their ransom negotiations. So once all was said and done, the security advisor who was leading those calls texted Jabril one final time. You're next, motherfucker. Shut the fuck up. How badass. That is badass. Did he respond? The phone was disconnected in less than five minutes. Duh. I figured. None of those names are real either. I'm sure of it. I think they've captured a few of them since then, but the hunt for the rest of them is not over. They're still on a list. Oh, I hate that. A list that is regularly being checked, and a list that the military that retires, the ones beneath them, will be looking at that list. They will be hunting for them. Yeah. Jessica and Eric moved to D.C. and had another baby, but she actually just announced a big move on Instagram, like, last week. So they'll be leaving again. Abu Dhabi bound. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. She wrote a book, Impossible Odds, which I've talked about throughout this entire thing. I sourced it at the beginning. She started her own publishing company, Soul Speaks Press. So if you're looking to write a book, go check her out. I'm going to do all her plugs. Good. Instagram is Jessica C. Buchanan. You'll see the blue checkmark. She's verified. And she is starting her own podcast launching next month. How to Survive Survival, where she'll interview people who have also faced loss, trauma, life-altering hardships of any kind. So go follow. Amazing. Is it already on platforms and stuff so I can just go ahead and subscribe? Oh, yeah. The trailer's up. I think so, yeah. The trailer's up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And that is my story of some badass hostage survivors, Jessica Buchanan and Paul Fisted. that is badass. Now the question remains, how the fuck do we not know where Nancy Guthrie is? Yeah, really? Wait, where's Paul now? So what's Paul doing? Yeah, I think he's back in Denmark. He works for something in this arena, like helping others with traumatic stuff like that. I should have gotten a better update on him. That is incredible. how like i said i remember that in the news but i don't that was intense and intense oh yeah her podcast is on platforms the trailer's out um and it's coming yeah i guess soon but it like really wow how do we not know where what's going on come on i know i mean where what the hell is the deal How incredible is that, though? It's just I had to tell it. And I hope I did it justice if Jessica is listening. I mean, well, I can't speak for her, obviously. But, wow, that was a whirlwind. Right. I don't even know how to close out from that. I don't either. But, honestly, we knew where one American was being held hostage in a desert in Somalia hours after she was taken. And ransom notes are being emailed to people in the United States. This is quite bullshit. That is bullshit. Where the fuck's Nancy? I can't wait for answers on that. I know. I mean, what is going on? Oh. Wow. That was a crazy story. I just don't even know. I'm speechless. I know. That is unlike one we have ever done. You were right about that. If you're new here, it's the first. That is the first. wow custom shout out okay i'm doing this one this is me rachel because i have a personal tie to this um this is from emily she wrote in she's a listener you're the best because actually she she points out she's a 0.05 percent listener on spotify she has been two years in a row so what's up she's doing better than y'all she's kidding i have no idea up there she's up there that's awesome so first of all thanks for that emily but second she said okay so she opened a store i'm just gonna paraphrase real quick and then i'll read her her paragraph they opened a store she and her husband um in lansing north carolina which is like 10 minutes from virginia it's real western north carolina tiny town devastated by hurricane helene she and her husband purchased a tiny building in the new town of Lansing, 70 people, 70 people up there. Oh, wow. On September 27th, 2024. That is the day Hurricane Helene hit. They bought a new building, and then it was soon flooded by Hurricane Helene. The whole town was underwater, she says. We spent eight hours in the car dodging power lines and mudflats, trying to make it home to our dogs. They're okay. We're okay. And our 1889 fixer-upper home at the top of town was okay. I want to see pictures of that house because that's badass. Yeah. But so they had to obviously delay renovations. The store is called Bunny and the Beaver Man. It's an outfitter, vintage clothing, and vinyl record shop, which is so badass. That is awesome. It took exactly one year, and they reopened. Or they opened. They couldn't even open then, obviously. They opened on September 27, 2025. of. Again, you still have to pay rent. Oh, wait. No, they bought it. They bought it. But still, so now it's, you close on it and then you go to celebrate and a fucking hurricane destroys it. So right now they are closed for renovations again, but they're reopening, a grand reopening late spring, Lansing, North Carolina. Again, it's Bunny and the Beaver Man, an outfitter, vintage clothing store, and vinyl record shop. It looks so cute. I went to their Instagram. I went to their website. Lansing's adorable. A store like that, though, would rock in small towns because I bet there's not another one. Yeah, people appreciate it in small towns, especially in mountain towns like that. Yeah. I bet, yeah, that would do really well. So we've got to support. If you're in Lansing, go. If you're in western North Carolina, go. If they sell online, go. Right. That just, like, tugged my heartstrings so bad because how – And that Lansing's one of those small towns that obviously they were devastated too, but got not nearly the amount of media coverage that, like, Asheville got, which we – everyone needed media coverage, Asheville included. But, man, what a blow. You're so excited. And then that bitch, Helene, comes raging through, like, the little fucking cunt she was. Oh, God. All right. She really ruined some lives. No, I know. Pissed me off. So, Emily, y'all, Bunny and the Beaver Man, Lansing, North Carolina, go to their Instagram. Really cute. Love the store. Love it. Awesome. There you go. And good luck to y'all. We know y'all are going to kill it. Yeah, y'all are. For sure. Patrons. Katie, Jaybird, Ashley, Emily, Elizabeth, Morgan, Becky, Megan, Kathy, Bella. Kelly, Emily, Claire, Brandy, Caitlin, Andrea, Carly, Julie, Hannah, Nick, Laura, Noreen, Audrey, Steph, Amanda, Kalen, and Deb. Oh, my God. Thanks, y'all. That was a lot. That was a lot. Thank you so much. Sorry I said the C word. Listen, when I get passionate about something, I'm going to go for it. Oh, yeah, she will. All right. And no cunt can stand in her way. Thanks for listening, everyone. Oh, thank y'all. so much. Y'all are the best. Sorry, Rebecca did that to y'all. Sorry. 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