Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues courage discipline justice and wisdom into the real world This is a good surprise You're tough your firm. You don't get bothered by things you keep yourself under control You know a thing or two about life. You have earned your wisdom the hard way by experience Good, but you're missing something else just as important and perhaps more impressive If ever anyone possessed of power had grounds for thinking himself the best and most lightened among his contemporaries Was the emperor Marcus Arelius the philosopher John Stuart Mill wrote Marcus was the absolute ruler of nearly the entire world. He was strong and firm wise and resilient But what was less expected from his stoical breeding mill said was his tender heart What a lovely thing to have said about you that in your nicer and kinder than expected nicer and kinder than perhaps you could have gotten away with Marcus Arelius probably would have attributed his tender heart to his mother But that was by no means at odds with stoic philosophy He saw this tenderness and Antoninus and in sex to suit autumn. He said to be free of passion but full of love That's good surprise not just strength but softness where it matters not just control but care Not only to be wise, but to be attentive compassionate and patient with the people in our lives If you're selling online or out of a storefront full-time or a side hustle you know It's a challenge people got to find you you got away from them to walk in Well today's sponsor what not flips that on what not you go live and sound directly to people in real time They see what you got they ask questions and they buy and you know what they keep coming back What not is the largest dedicated live shopping platform whether it's beauty collectibles electronics luxury fashion even cookies Sellers are building real thriving businesses on what not what not buyers spend more than an hour a day on the app And they're not just browsing their bidding and buying and coming back So you can go live show off your projects and turn that into real income people selling on what not sell 10 times more than on other Major marketplaces and that's because you're not just listing products you're building real connections with buyers for a limited time What not will match your first 150 dollars sold in the first month you just because it visit what not dot com slash sell the start selling WHAT and OT dot com slash sell what not dot com slash sell as you know AI is everywhere you're probably using a handful of different AI tools in your life, you know day to day now But how many of us are stopping and asking Should I be asking this to AI? I think about that all the time Do I want to give it my personal information? Do I want to upload this? Thing that I worked on that I own the copyright to I don't I don't know right got works of personal questions late night thoughts Medical issues we're sharing a lot with AI maybe even more than we realized and that's where duck duck go comes in Because they just built duck dot AI for folks who want to keep their conversations with AI tools private You go to duck dot AI and you can chat privately with the same ais that you're already using whether that's your chat GPT or clot or whatever and it protects your info from hackers from scammers and data hungry companies It's a win win plus it's from duck dot go the company known for protecting your data not collecting it No sign ups no subscriptions no learning curve just visit duck dot AI and start chatting If you want to use AI without giving up your privacy visit duck dot AI Slash stoic today that's duck dot AI slash stoic a private way to chat with AI from duck dot go where AI is always optional and private Hey, it's Ryan welcome to another episode of the daily stoic podcast we have kind of a special episode for you today We've been kind of messing with the format here on daily stoic a little bit We kind of want to do deep dives into topics maybe ways of taking some of the stoic ideas and tying them to things that are happening in the world It is super bowl weekend here in America and so if you didn't know that the super bowl is here I know you're supposed to say the big game, but the super bowl is here and it's gonna be between the New England Patriots and Seattle sea hawks which is a little bit of deja vu if you remember specially for me because of the first Seahawks Patriots super bowl was a Very big deal in my life Not because I bet on the game or anything it was a big deal because Both teams had read my books and I actually gone and visited with the Patriots Earlier in that season which had been kind of a meddling season that they turned around really late in the year Actually Paul kicks in a article for ESPN that he wrote in 2020 Actually outlines one way that stoicism made its way from the Patriots to the sea hawks Here is John Snyder the young-ish general manager of the Seattle sea hawks turning a pro-day workouts for the organ ducks Marcus Mariotta in spring 2015 Snyder talks with Michael and Barty a 30-year front office executive who spent the previous season with the New England Patriots Bill Bellachek's Patriots the Patriots who snatched the super bowl away from Snyder's sea hawks weeks earlier As Mariotta throws Snyder peppers Lombardi was questions about Bellachek how he approaches the game How he leads how he handles setbacks and level sets after triumphs? Lombardi holds up his hand hang on He tells Snyder about a book that came out the previous year one he is recommended to the Patriots staff the principles of the famous Patriots way Hard to stilt within it if Schneider wants to know more about Bellachek wants to get the vibe for what he's like and what his philosophy is and how he approaches life in football And Barty says he wants to more fully understand the difference between winning and losing on the one-yard line in the Super Bowl He needs to read it What's that book called Obstacle is the way when Barty says and Snyder loves it He later tells ESPN that the Principles of stoicism Resilience and objectivity the push to accept what you cannot control and adapt to what you can This is what he and sea hawks coach Pete Carroll have been preaching as well And Snyder gives the book to Carroll and the rest of the sea hawks staff and soon word gets out The two best teams in the league are reading the same book and Soon everyone else in the NFL is too and by the way Paul Kicks is an amazing writer And I don't say that because you wrote this profile of me in the book considering its February It's by Kishri Mati has an incredible book on The civil rights movement. Let me get it. So I don't mess up the title for you here He also has a great book on the French resistance if you read courage is calling I had this whole deep dive into the goal He got some good to go all stuff from his book But he also recommended a certain sense of France by Julian Jackson, which is an incredible book Oh, it's called you have to be prepared to die before you can begin to live You came on the podcast and talked about it But anyways, I'm now getting a little bit far away from my set up here So anyways the book ends up making its way to the Patriots and the sea hawks and The Patriots win not just that super bowl But another one and I got to know one of the players on that team It's funny. I was just in Seattle and he and I were messaging because he'd been giving a talk like the day before in the same Room but I'm talking here about Martellis Bennett He was a tight-in for 10 seasons in the NFL. He retired eventually in 2018 First he was with the Cowboys and then the Bears It was a Multi-proboller and then he was with the New England Patriots who won Super Bowl 51 with and so he came on the Podcast and one of the things I wanted to ask him was about that crazy Super Bowl Where they had come back from 28 to 3 at halftime and he told me this crazy thing that they had actually practiced halftime You played in maybe the greatest Super Bowl of all time, you know that the 28 to 3 come back against the Atlanta Falcons Walked me through because obviously from a physical performance and what you were incredible in that game that the game was incredible But like how does someone look at that scoreboard at that point in the game and not give up hope? So we get to the Super Bowl we down right thing we got the interceptions everything going wrong They sacking us they dancing we look over so did we go on halftime and we go halftime. I'm like all right I'm gonna what's going to happen because I've seen lost and go I see if people yell I see people curse each other out. I see people go chairs. I see people want to fight I see people blame each other like I've been in lots of losing situations like one thing I know is what a loser looks like Right like because I've been around losers before right so But when I walk in this locker room, I didn't see any losers. I Didn't see any of the losers antics or anything that losers do all the stuff that I've been seeing other losers at moments of time Happened to them in a situation and I knew the way that they react I was racing for it because I've been around people lose it and now I've been around these guys who've been winning and never really experienced losing like this with me this year But I can't even say I was surprised like well walking the locker room because we have practice hat time like we practice hat time Leaving up to the Super Bowl because it was longer like what the schedule is going to be like what we're gonna do and winning a locker room Yeah, you know five minutes to yourself. I'll just gonna be with you like we know what halftime was gonna be like because we actually Worked half time into our Super Bowl practices like Half-time that's incredible. Yeah, so Bill will take a long however the long half-time is like 15 17 minutes or something Like double the time we had that actual half-time at practice where you had to get around You have to stretch again and get ready to go back out and play for a second half practice. So we practice this Which to me you can shit over with like oh, Bill They're like because the practice you just sit around you kind of have that like you don't go through all the plays And stuff you just like hey, this five minutes will be talking about this and then you'll sit about five minutes And nobody's talking about anything about suffer what they want to do after practice today And so are like you just have this time to yourself Which I also think was really good as well because really you started being like man We just fuck it around so much we can be fuck because everyone started looking at everybody like man We can be fucking around like this during the game So anyway, we get in a half time and I walked in literally no one yells No one goes a chair no coaches shouting no coaches do say say anything And I think only thing is Bill Bill said hey, you got five minutes before you meet with your coaches I go to my locker and I sit down. I eat my peanut butter jelly sandwiches It's like the regular just like practice where you go man And you know, I'm always change socks at half time. It was just kind of this thing I always do like so like I'm changing like take off your pads guys like kicking a feet up kind of relaxing But when you look around you can see that every single guy was Individually they were focused individuals like they were thinking about what they could do they had a headphones on Nobody was messing around. It was everyone like Reflected on themselves and what they had did the first half You know football is like a physically aggressive game and it's grueling But it also ups and downs of emotions, right? And and really it's about teams that can bounce back quickly that can get to that even keel Right not too high not too low that can come back to that kind of place of stillness That's that's what great athletes with great teams. That's what great coaches and organizations Help their athletes be able to do I think one of the things people Get wrong about the Stokes is that they assume there as we said emotionless. No It's really about regulating the emotions not when you get high to come back to level set like we're talking about But it's also you know beliefs that they're always confident that they never doubt themselves that they just Feel because they're big and strong. They must feel big and strong on the inside But what you realize is when you actually get up and meet some of these people that you put on a pedestal or you are Physically Intimidated by or their success almost you you go. Oh, they're just like me, right? Some of these people could be the absolute best in the game But that doesn't mean they're immune to imposter syndrome, right? It doesn't seem a little crazy, right that you could be best in the world at something Objectively you'd be paid millions of dollars for it But still feel like you're not good enough still doubt yourself. I mean it actually does make sense because part of what drives you to be great is Being so hard on yourself when I had Tony Gonzalez on the podcast here at the bookstore He lived briefly in Austin. I was on his podcast and then he moved here He would come out sometimes just pop in the bookstore to shop for books Which is always lovely, but we sat down and talked about exactly this and you know Tony Gonzalez is one of the greatest tight ends of all time Many people would say is the greatest tight end of all time he spent his first 12 seasons the Kansas City chiefs He was a selected in the first round in the 97 draft and then his last five seasons He was a member of the Atlanta Falcons. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2019 So even a Hall of Famer in arguably one of the greatest to ever do it is struggling with that idea of imposter syndrome Which I think is worth thinking about as you watch the Super Bowl this weekend For me what I Stuggled with most and into that transition to and it even still to this day Like I have a little bit of that imposter syndrome. It takes me a while to feel totally totally confident And that's what took me so long to become really good in the NFL I didn't get any faster or stronger between my rookie year and my third year when I was first to my probe those first two years were Shitty for me and it was in the only reason it was because I wasn't confident and that's what's kind of plagued me throughout my I don't even know if it's a plague. Maybe it's a good thing I'm starting to read that a imposter syndrome is actually a good thing Yeah, and maybe it is but I can't shake it sometimes I just don't feel so confident when I'm when I'm doing certain things. I mean there's a story about Marcus to realize that he's sort of chosen to be king and He like he's puzzled. This is a young man But he sort of breaks down in tears because he's like literally all kings have been bad There's like no examples of like good ones. They're all they all break bad They end up being terrible tyrants like addicted to pleasure etc And he's sort of wondering whether you can do it and then he has his dream later that he has shoulders made of ivory that he is So strong enough to do it But I was wondering that about your career because yeah, you have a sort of a slow Start but I wonder do you think you could have played as long as you played if you'd come out of the gate stronger? I'm say I don't I don't know but it's the best thing never happened to me You're right if I would have came out and played I would have never went through that Dark dark time in my career Where I doubted myself so mom talking I got benched I got written up in the papers telling me I was a bust Like that stuff hurts and and I still hold on to them And that's a chip. I'll have for the rest of my life of being so embarrassed And feeling so much shame and guilt and all that stuff. I mean it was all of it rolled up into one But I think when you go through those situations And I mean I read a lot and I read a lot of biographies and it seems like a lot of the people that have achieved greatness go through those really Extremely dark times like I just not wrong with With going through those extremely dark times as long as you eventually figure it out It's just as that every profit has to go through the wilderness And then from the wilderness This is where they they produce psychic dynamite the idea being that you have to go through this experience where you sort of send to way It's kind of the heroes journey where you're sent away you're doubted you struggle And then if you come out of the other side of that you're much stronger I remember I was talking to John Snyder once the jam of the Seahawks and he was saying like They have trouble when they drafts players who have never been through anything before Because like almost everyone goes through some version of that dip when you start because you're like the best in college Yeah, and then you're like oh shit like the end the NFL Is another level the NFL is another level and If you've never had to adjust To like not getting everything you want and like struggling and having to learn and grow Like it's gonna kick your ass. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I had that when I was younger I guess people can look up that story, but but I had a bully long story short. I had a bully I played pop Warner football. I was the worst kid on the team had this bully come down try and beat me up And I changed everything and it helped me become a better football player Yeah, but then after that once I figured that out football. Oh man. I just I was the man Yeah, until I was a first round draft choice I was that guy that you probably wouldn't like but I bet in that experience as you were adjusting even though you still struggled You were drawing on the strength that you drew on like if you hadn't gone through what you went through as a kid Maybe you wouldn't have made it out of the other side of those three years and you're right And maybe I wouldn't of but I still did not know the formula for success when I became a professional sure now before that Talent wise I'm six five. I can jump really high. I'm strong. I'm quick. I'm athletic This is just an adding an ask for this. This was just given to me from birth genetically Uh, and so I relied on that a lot now I worked hard don't get me wrong. I worked my ass off But my working my ass off was what they told me to do yeah, so if practice started at one I showed up at one and I worked my ass off for those two hours until three o'clock three thirty whatever it is and went home Right. I did exactly what they asked me to do and this is what I tell incoming rookies now in the NFL. Uh, I say welcome To the world of you're no longer special. Yeah, no one gives a shit. Yeah, you ran off four three So does he so does he so does he so does he? Oh, you bench foreign about who so does he? So oh your first team all-american good good for you you won the he's been said guy over there He won the he's doesn't even start. Yeah, okay. Nobody cares. Yeah who you are and what you've been through anymore What's going to separate you at the professional level? This is I don't care what it is It's the it's the obsession. Yeah, it's the For me, I had to forget I had to go out. I can't show up from I want a clock And be done at three thirty after practice. I have to show up earlier 30 minutes before everybody gets out there And I need to catch balls. Yeah, and while the defense is going I need to catch balls while when coach calls us up afterwards And everybody goes home to go play video games and go talk to the sweetie pies I'm gonna stay after I'm gonna catch more balls Yeah with my chin strap buckled mouthpiece in eyes wide open focused in the game situation Getting ready obsessed with being the best when I go home I don't turn it off. I can be watching a basketball game or football game that I'm always thinking about Okay, how am I gonna get better and that's one of the things You talk about that transition. I forgot That's what made me so great at football and I think a lot of players Forget about what made them so great when they played and that's why you look at the Statistics when players get done playing any professional sport They it's a huge falloff. I mean depression financial troubles divorce Addiction all that stuff that happens and I think it's because they expect to be great again right away at whatever it is They choose not really zero right not really a thing that you got to go through all that embarrassment again all that boring Work again all that stuff that made you great before you you forget and I forgot I think one of the things It's always helped me manage my feelings of imposter syndrome or whenever that insecurity creeps in is this idea of I have the evidence Like I did the work. I Did the training I know what I put in I focused on what I did everything I could I focused on what was in my control So whether you're the patriots or the sea hawks whether you're daring up for the Super Bowl this weekend or you just been promoted to a new role at work Training for a marathon. You're working on a new creative project There is evidence that you can handle hard things because you've handled hard things before right Mark sure this talks about this in meditation. She says like how will you handle what's gonna happen tomorrow He says with the same weapons that you handled yesterday with We've got an employee here at Daily Stoke. I won't say who because it's kind of private But they've been using monarch today's sponsor to track their progress as they try to pay off their student loan debts I'm a college dropout so I don't have any debt thankfully But I can only imagine how Overwhelming would be to have this thing hanging over you and she's been using the app to budget and save and it's bringing her a little bit closer Every day to being debt free which I can only imagine would be a huge relief Monarch shows you exactly where your money is going. It helps you redirect it towards what matters With automated tracking and clear projections You can actually see yourself getting closer to being debt free or hitting your savings milestone Instead of just hoping it happens Unlike most other personal finance apps monarch is built to help make you proactive and not just reactive and monarch to help users Save over two hundred dollars per month on average after joining You can set yourself up for financial success in 2026 with monarch the all-in-one tool that makes proactive money management simple all year long You can use code stilic at monarch dot com for half off your first year That's 50% off your first year at monarch dot com code stilic Who likes bugs? Uh, not me. I guess my wife does my kids sometimes like bugs I don't like bugs in my house, right? I don't like them around my food. I don't like them crawling on me. I don't like Bugs and the problem is you see one bug and then you ignore it and all of a sudden you got Hundreds of bugs and you got an infestation If you are looking for DIY pest control check out today's sponsor that's Pestie They're making protecting your home from unwanted pests super simple With Pestie you can get started at 35 bucks of treatment and get a customized plan based on your location Bugs and climate they send you everything you need pro grade pesticide. That's the same stuff the pros use They give you a spray or they give you a mixing bag gloves and instructions and you can complete the whole thing in less than 10 minutes My wife loves bugs, which she also loves our animals and so she's always worried that killing the bugs will go the animals Well, Pestie pesticides are fully registered and have been used in hospitals and schools all over the country And you can try Pestie totally risk-free with their 100% bug free guarantee or your money back if the bugs don't go away You get a free refund bugs hate to see you coming with Pestie just go to Pestie.com slash dog for an extra 10% off your order That's P-E-S-T-I-E dot com slash dog for an extra 10% off One of my favorite books that I read this year was my friend Seth Wickershams book You wrote a great book actually about the Patriots and you came on the podcast and talked about that When it first came out, but he also just wrote a book about the position of the quarterback Right one of the reasons I love football is that the quarterback position is so unlike anything in sports I mean first I've only on the field half the time and You know, it's one of the only major sports you can't see the person's face But the quarterback is just doing so much just all the hats they have to wear and set talked about that He said something really interesting when he came on the podcast Steve Young and I at one point like talked about all the hats you have to wear as a quarterback And I think we stopped it like 24 You know from Matt and A. Idol to field general to um You know astonishing asshole to amateur psychologist to you know, spoke's person of a multi-billion dollar organization All these things And oh by the way you also have to be able to throw the ball through windows that nobody else can see much less take advantage of I think that like to do it now you not only have to be able to have the ability to throw but you have to have that hole in your personality that requires constant Adulation and reassurance and love yeah, it's very similar to a politician or a lead singer Something like that where it's like that just kind of has to be part of the equation at this point What is that doing to people what does that do to teenagers? When we're so obsessed with spotting genius early without really understanding what makes the genius in the first place That is going to be really interesting to see when it's not like you're given time to develop a fully rounded out Personality with diverse interests and connections because you you have been specialized since you were 10 Absolutely and like so you don't have the things that would actually help you Manage that thing like like in music they call it a LSD like lead singer disease. Yeah, like you're catching this quarterback disease at like 10 All right as we bring this episode to a close I was down in Cleveland Six it made seven years ago. I gave a talk to the Cleveland Browns right before the start of that season now They did not go on to win a Super Bowl that year and they remained sadly a bit of a cursed franchise but it was really cool to go in there and Sit with them a Baker Mayfield was on the team Odell Beckham Jr was on that team Garrett Miles was on that team so you know some some real heavy hitters But I wanted to pass on some thoughts on stoses that I think they could apply So I thought I would close this episode with what I told an NFL team and maybe it'll give you some insights into what Players are thinking about and dealing with on the field this weekend It's been just incredibly cool to see stoses and my books make their way through locker rooms and coaches offices and I hope you have a fun and safe Super Bowl weekend. I'll talk to you soon And I hope you like this new format. Thanks to Claire our wonderful producer who is helping us experiment with this new format And I'll talk to you soon if there's one thing that philosophy can teach Any athlete whether you're an amateur Whether you're a collegiate Prospect whether you're a top ranked recruiter whether you're making millions of dollars in the pros Is something that I talked about to the Cleveland Browns. What I said I started my talk and I said look Everyone in this room controls one thing they control how they play You don't control what your teammates do you control how you play you don't control what they say about you on Twitter You control how you play You don't control the size of your contract you control. How you play you don't control. What they say about you from the stands you control. How you play you don't control. What the ref says you control. How you play you don't control whether it's snowing you don't control whether it's raining you don't control. Whether it's 100 degrees you control. How you play you don't control. Whether your teammates get hurt you don't control if your teammates are fair you don't control if the guy in the position ahead of you wants to groom you and mentor you or not, you control how you play. You don't control whether your opponent's cheat, you control how you play. You don't control if your coach is a bully and he screams at you. You control how you play. You don't control if people are doubting you, if they don't believe in you, you control how you play. You don't control yesterday's game. You control how you play today. You don't control if you've lost to this team a thousand times. You control how you play. You don't control if your team wins. You control how you play. You don't control if you lose. You control how you play. All you control if it's not clear enough is how you play right now, right this second. Whether there's doubters, whether you're being adored, all you control is how you play. The effort that you bring, the decisions you make, the principles by which you operate. And that's ultimately all you can judge yourself on. You don't control the outcome. You don't control the facts. You don't control anything, but how you play. But if we can focus on this, Histoak said, if we can focus exclusively on what we control, not only be happier, we'll have way more energy and way more to focus on what is in front of us while everyone else waste time. Wining about, complaining about worrying about, thinking about, bragging about what they don't control. Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to the Daily Stowag podcast. I just wanted to say we so appreciate it. We love serving you. It's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple years. We've been doing it. It's an honor. Please spread the word, tell people about it. And this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say thank you.
