Waiting For Ari with Dan Soder

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But the girl on footloose, when they go to the bar and sing this, and they just do a cut of her jaw dashes ass, and it's that part when it goes back it up, Lou. When the music drops down, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So much jolt is when they're walking out on the floor. They finally find a place where dancing's legal. Right here, shake that. Oh, back, boom, boom, back, pow. Come on, dude. Wait, we got the cameras going. Back it up again, Lou. I'm gonna show you what she did. Give me a taste, Bobby. Come on, can you do it? You know you're trying to show off that fucking fat wagon. Man. Yeah, you're on the dance floor. You're being sexy. Got Kevin baking a cross-mew, and he hit it. Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. Bobby can move his tush. Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. Nah, it wasn't good. Wow, that hurt. Whose was better? You did the shake part, but he was already grooving, leading up to it, and I thought he had some rhythm. Yours, I'm gonna give it to you. Well, because he's staring you down with a death stare. He wanted to win. Why don't you... I think it was in our view. He wanted to win. I gave it to you. You have a very special guest in Dan Soda. Yeah, Gilder Doosam, so we can get to the bottom of... Jason, let me tell you, I understand what Jacob was saying, because Bobby went to a place in his head, because I was the only one that saw him shut his eyes and put himself in the bar. He panicked. He never knew. No, no, no. Here's what he was doing. He was trying to go meditative. He transported himself. Yes, he became her. He became she. I became she. But you buried him with the choreography, because you knew to shake them hips. Bring up the scene, Christine. I'm not technical. No, but I'll tell you right now. Footloose. You were in that goddamn bar. I was in that bar, and I was wearing Jordash. And Kevin Bacon was watching you dance. And my ass was shaped like a heart. Yes, yes. But Jay... You didn't even wiggle it in the right... He didn't even do the right thing. But Jay's was beat for beat on the move. Well, can I say this, though? Sure. Jay's done that probably alone in a room two thousand times. That was him an hour ago getting ready for the show. Yeah, that was him naked in the show. That was my first time doing it. You think he didn't think of that and then practice it? Oh, yes. Bring it up. Dan, take it for a run yourself. Come on, Dan. Cue it up. Cue it up. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 Here comes Jacob of course we're not gonna leave you out dude fucking nail it come on dude you're the prince of Jewish R&B The crown prince of Jewish R&B Oh here he goes here he's there. Oh, yeah Oh This might be a lot for me to ask as a guest but DJ Lou doing this might just give everybody DJ Lou I think it's time dude. This is the time Lou I'm trying to bust in my pants on my day back I don't even let my girlfriend see my ass. I'm not gonna showcase it It's not showcasing your ass. It's just showing you got those moves man come on Lou can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question Lou? Do you need to see me do it one more time? I Forgot that Lou takes off his jeans like a paraplegic Oh, yeah, I want his girlfriend to see his butt, you know mad Paco as we haven't asked him yet Yeah, oh Paco it's coming around dude Paco came here to dance. Yeah, I was busting outside dancing DJ Lou just a taste dude. What if we all do it with you together? I don't know man feel so bad inside Look at me. I thought the same thing it makes you feel brilliant inside What theatrical I'd like to be behind the scenes on this one place true. I'm very My god fine Christine it comes down to you now Paco go ahead before you do a Paco. I know you're not familiar with the song. Do you do you think you need to see me do it one more time? I Do okay, all right see it though cuz he doesn't know what the part is I needed a second shot to get me to where I need to be so I understand you understand. Yeah, bring it back Lou I'm expecting Paco to have tear away pants Paco do it in your underwear Here's Jay He holds on to his tux Can I tell you what Jay does it English at the end it's it's it's a little short mucus And he saves the oomph for the last boom boom boom boom boom boom Boom the punchline. Why did you want to take another shot at now that you see the new way? I think so. Yes, okay? Yeah, Paco take a good look to your next Bobby's there to girl you Now where I just I don't mean to go all dancing with the stars on you You have to but where you missed is that you pointed out what Jay is great at is a swing swing at the end Swing at the end gives a nice. He's hitting the crash symbol with his ass And where you are Your butts arriving I'm riding on me a little your butts arriving but much like Ari Shafir your butts arriving late Jay's the pitching coach Pogos just waiting oh shit Paco Paco have your moment dude Paco has his own boom box with it Paco do we a cheeks out though? Let's see those little Filipinos cheeks. I was a hairless Hairless cheeks hairless cheeks Paco here we go. Oh, he knows it Here comes she's with a girl like you zoom God this is how they were so good at tricking our GIs Oh They're coming in for sex the next thing you know, it's a fucking shoe bomb now Cleveland doesn't have legs There's the name guys have to see This is helping clean up Chicago man Holy shit Yeah, that was it was sexy. It had everything Pablo. I mean Paco's had personality you guys were talking about before with they just did the vacation with oh, yeah Well, you just went on the gas digital retreat. Yeah, and you're away from your overlord so you can speak for I won't tell him shit. Are you kidding me? You guys made my swore asleep outside We didn't make it but he he ushered himself out because he could see how upset everybody was Really? If he needs me I'll be sleeping face down the pool All right, I guess I'll just boogie man the rest of the night The trees I have a snoring right here Those are waves crashing folks Yeah, we're gonna see been a steamboat I Mean dude, I spent a night here in that You guys were in the bedroom. I was out on the couch I sleep I Such snoring for sure. I've never seen Dan soda That mad in my life very mad my snowing in body at all now You have a picture of me in your phone Yeah We use with one of those iPhone filters that you love where you could see every wrinkle on my face But it looks like a mean caricature Where they added extra lines because I just didn't sleep that motherfucker and The the worst part was he would do the horror movie snore where it would stop and you go It's over. He died That's the Jason bore he's opening his eyes at the end Oh So Matt I should have slept in your car. That's what you said the next day and you were right I should have put the seats down in your car. You should let him sleep in the car I don't remember they made him sleep outside in the jungle Do you remember at the end of one of like five or six one of the Friday the 13th? His neck got caught on a chain on the back of a boat. He's in the bottom of the lake and the boat fan That's how he dies in that one is the boat fan chops his fucking face and the hockey mask in the pieces in the Disgusting bloody pieces including the mask destroyed and then if they do the wrap up where everyone's okay now Who lived and then at the end they go down the bottom of the lake and they show his eyes Open in the mask. I'm like what up. Do you get hit by a fucking? How many satan put his face back together? Superman flew backwards they didn't show that that next Jason starts with lightning striking him at the bottom of a lake Is that how he comes I don't know that's I don't know if it's the bottom like one of them It's fucking struck by lightning. No underwater. I Isn't that it's probably know what what the lightning one that was so funny is there's one where the guy I think it's Corey Felbin's character grown up opens up his grave He goes was great and it's like a like a fucking You know skeleton or whatever yeah in the thing and he starts stabbing it with like a pole He brings like a metal pole and start stabbing it. He's like, huh? He's like, huh? Alright got that in my system and then lightning strikes the ball It really is like a comedy if they put comedy music to Jason and they're just like did it wrong every time like Benny Hill music What is chasing them? They essentially tried with a fucking I mean they had Freddy Krueger skateboarding Endpoints like he was a skateboard everything a pizza guy with little like with a pizza with little pepperoni or little meatball children faces I'm sorry dude. I was trying to get her. Can you call Ari? He's supposed to be here. He's not here. He's not answering anybody. He's not answering me He was talking to him last night. He's supposed to be here at five o'clock. Oh, it's not here I'm telling you every second we have to find out if he's coming or not because I promise you guys You're this set that we're gonna watch today of me. I was like dancing while I was brushing my teeth today It's how excited I was I was like, oh gonna watch J. Do a black cent I'm gonna respond to you that quick. I literally take from my son. It went. Yes. It was it was medical It didn't even get to three dots. Yeah Yes Because he's not coming telling you I already know one episode of this to get this is five and a half minutes I'm gonna be which is a lock in Christine did a seven minutes said it took us two episodes to go through. Yeah, I was listening to you guys through the last special I'm on a drive on a long drive. I heard that it was last week's two weeks ago. The lost tapes Yeah, do you see his or his Facebook now? Well, you sent it to me. Do you and de Rosa discussed it a little bit? David Vox Mullen. Yeah He is now a friend of the show He actually changed his Facebook page to the bonfire logo. Oh my god. Yes Dude has featured repeatedly and unpaid You have a bitchy new friend. Yeah Yeah, I guess I'd go to your house if I was just desperate enough to eat your cookie. I said Christina an idea I loved of him Reviewing are he wants to be on the show now, of course this of him reviewing other people's specials Jay merch on his page Shut the fuck up. No, I mean, it's the science. Yeah, I call myself the science I am the science the actual Influencer It started with body brain coffee. Yeah, I keep saying that I don't drink coffee But I have been ramming it up my ass and I'm getting the benefits and Louis says I guess and that's Jay's thing But there's no science in that and I said I am the science And so that's why Bobby's the fluence You're talking to the magic right over here on the ones Cackle Stuck wait the beef Babe, where's the beef? We have the meat and then the family It's cuz everyone Cuz that's the that's the whole family Jacob goes to Florida family of one cuz people died No, cuz people People go people go People go on vacations family Jacob does family activities by himself because he is the family damn. He's just like sweet Frank Castle What if the Punisher was really just nice I mean it's up to you guys Ari says he's gonna be here in 25 minutes. I Honestly, yes, we gotta wait. I don't agree with that. Let me just say why can I get let me get a book You know what I'm at the party give me a little For context why don't we give him a little taste? Fucking taste. Oh, he never saw he didn't see the taste I Last week we did my comic comics unleashed we did my comic. Oh, he forgot the show already any he trashed Trash me oh mine was Apparently I was the star of the show because I thought there was just two little clips of me apparently I did like three or four Damn, they gave you you gave him a full meal Bobby never didn't stand up That is great. I think so we didn't stand up He was leaned back in his chair and kick his feet up so we could say things like I don't know low what That's baby speak I Forgot about the hop chop a lot of this is my favorite part of this Sounds like you're luring an animal out. This isn't Bobby father Devoted husband cigar aficionado cigar fishing up also answer calm Tempered by therapy and and insight and inner looking yeah Zen Bobby and all this stuff this that's not that's not who's on Comics unleashed the person Who's this person here is it looks like it if you were like well this guy's been like our A sage and a mentor to so many of us myself and you're like this was This wasn't that guy. This is Bobby when he fucking told me he hopes my kid gets sick He was a mean person and that was his comedy and we never said anything to him about it It's like Bobby it's like Bobby had an exorcism and they pulled the porter Oh Hey everybody that is when I went to LA and Patrice did say that I went to LA a Gorgeous Italian guy and came back a fat Mexican My god you there must have been moments in LA where you just collided with people with their fake phoniness Oh, dude, you're kidding me jumped right in Sunni McCut no Number one this is also you in the room with Dane listening to the song you being like that's my point That's my shit you said when we call you Play it again Bob Something affects you You I was on O and A a lot of time the two things that hurt me the most is when you call me out on that and then when you Call me with the Hameless You cost me money I was making money We eventually gave you his job I put down the sword for you because I took your cameo money Man that was yeah, hey Melissa, but that was one of the best when we called you about that He goes, what'd you do? This is the this was the time you were with Dane cook and you went you guys as he goes you're worried you go Oh, yeah, he goes you guys never knew Hollywood Bob. Yeah, he goes You said he said you know he played for me in full and then when it was over you looked at him and you said dude You did it and he went Really and you went I want to hear it again. Yeah, that's where the destruction is Because then dane cook goes That's like uh pat mackafee put out that song I don't know if you heard pat mackafee song and he was like and I got seven more bangers And then you hear it and you go Did pat mackafee put out a song it's called dukey It's like serious It sucks Is he serious? I don't think it's a joke song. It's not like fucking Yeah, I gotta tell you the guy wears casual tanks Yeah And think too much for me to think that I would I would love him. Yeah. No way. Are you kidding me? He wears your naked clothes outside. Oh, yeah He wears your love making uni He's in my naked clothes But I remember we did I was somewhere I was somewhere with Shane I was somewhere Shane and uh, it was like they went to lunch and I was like, I'm all right And I stayed by and then when I got back there like yeah pat mackafee mad as I was like, oh, thank god I was okay because I again, I'm also just not that guy. I'm a pleasant person. So I'm not gonna sure I would have been nice to him and I would have been like oh, but I'm doing it just like I'm being phony He would have been hollywood j. Yeah, listen to this song though. He's got a whole crew of dudes that hollywood bobbed him This is like young Jake paul His jeans are too tight That's the line that gets me every time Canceled who me boogie man spooky whoever let him record that should be shot in the head execution style And he's heavy involved in wrestling now, right? No, he's out. He was yeah. He's not calling it for wwe anymore What happened? I think he's just like busy I swear to god, I think he's like he's just like so busy. He's like, well, I did it for a little Yeah, this song sucks so much And this is there's people that were like fuck ass, dude. It's not as good as forward forward is great Dude if we're doing battle If we're doing forward hit me right here if we're doing battle of the bands cook v. McAfee hang on one sec Oh god You guys the next time he sang it when he when he brought it back I was tapping my foot god when he comes in it makes me want to punch a wall I was doing the old one No, I feel courageous, but I'm still scared To finish recording that into look and go. Yeah. Oh my god, bobby was right Bobby went this for before you know what he's leaving out before you said you did it. He went dude You did it no first of all you're wrong Dane wiped my tear with his finger As bobby and bobby didn't say anything he mouthed. Thank you You've done it. You are the danger This is when you have too much money and power. Yes, that's what this is too. You when a recording studio goes. Yeah Yeah, that's it's uh, it's just it's boogie knights jerk diggler with the money right if they could pay for the masters You don't think I'm if I get millions. I'm gonna not release a song. Oh dude. If you believe I'm backwards I love it Back all about my career. You're doing like He's doing hardcore boston country backwards Backwards. I've only gone I'm letting you guys know I'm letting you guys know you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right on this thing. I'm just back out jay I willed myself back to health for this. Okay. Give me give me a taste All right, let's go. All right. This is from the laugh house. Give it. Give us a little little little more context This is somewhere in my first few months of comedy. Yeah um I must have played at least a few more other black shows besides laugh house because I say something in the beginning that Lends me to believe I don't by the way, I've only seen what you're about to see Is all I've seen we saved it. I didn't watch did you watch the full clip? No, okay Has anyone watched the full clip the other thing we did main christin yesterday made jay turn around So we could just see the thumbnail and they went and they said there's a performative piece There's something at the end. I see if he I was like, is there a chance you get naked at the end of this and he doesn't He does not we had to look so we weren't waiting for there is there is something a disclaimer because those of us that do Remember your bodybuilding that I was too. It's where I just thought oh my god. Maybe it is not Was it one of joe's thongs that used to borrow? Yeah I suppose he had a zebra print I think it came no, but it wasn't about he wasn't a bodybuilder. It was a parallel No, it wasn't that he just had like a three-pack like tube of like He wore like he wore like jocks, you know jockey type underwear. I'm not one to defend a joe But I'll defend your joe and let you know he's shaving his body Which you always talked about because he's doing the bodybuilder stuff. I mean the powerlifting stuff But you'd have to shave them. Yeah, and you shave down you're buying a thong if you're shaving your body Because you're like down to like it wasn't a thong either. It was it was bikini regular underwear like a dumpy asshole like me It wasn't thong. It was like it was bikini underwear. I had thongs. So it means like he did God damn right I did. God damn right. That's gay From my thong these weren't thongs. They were like but they but they the straps on the side were this thing I actually make all mine to a thong Yeah, I mean you did for for quite a while. All right, listen. Fuck this. It's like like those All right, let's get to it. Wait the men's active that thing there. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's bring it up Let's get in it Um, all right. So this is I'm uh, What night is this uh, like a monday tuesday thursday the thursday night To thursday night blazing thursdays. He brought a couple people with him too. Got it. This is early. Well, this is being filmed I believe by my friend jamie shout out jamie the one who told me to try to do in comedy Yeah, because she sent this to me. She goes. Oh my gosh because I have this video I just found it goes look how young you look. This is one of your she said it's your first time doing comedy But from what I say, it's not but it's early And my tone and everything so I'm just hosting too right. That's too right. That's too right. Take me on stage Yeah, we're taking me put me on stage. Go niners What's up, too, right? Bang bang not again. Um Yeah, so I go on stage just I'm so bummed that the lights have to be so bright in here because Because you're filming I want you to see it. Yeah, I want you to see it good. Do they What's going on with your guys's gaming stream with these lights? I was playing pranthefoto. Well, I think it wouldn't matter so much if we'd use those $10,000 Pieces of shit up there in the wall, but they fired everyone that would use them. Can I tell you? Can I just tell you from a distance We had to hire a paco and buy cameras They did hire them back for downstairs podcast studios. Can I tell you from a distance? I believe katie studio is fully functioning Yeah, fully functioning But it ain't running the way it should really I've been watching from a distance laughing Yeah, I watched katie go through the same thing we did where she goes there's four cameras and they go I know There is isn't there she's like She's like so why don't we go full video? They go, uh, well, that's a whole thing You need somebody to push four buttons The funny thing is I believe I believe these cameras are now outdated. Yeah, they go those things run on film Close the gate We're gonna do one more guys room tone Guys this is a five minute comedy set. Yeah, I'm so excited. I know what year what year is this roughly? Yeah 97 98 All right, so clinton's an office. I would say 97 but I'd say well Yeah, 97 98 probably 98 because I started in september of 97. I believe that does that does help immensely. Okay. Yes Oh Oh my god, and honestly I know you're a young padwan because I think you have what I can only call is a pukashell necklace It's not it's a silver. It's a sterling silver from the mall Shout out. It's a chain. Can I tell you right now? Uh, you're dressed a lot less urban than I thought you would be I would know this was very like you were in the mid you were mid-range You could be skater skater or urban at this point. You didn't have money yet. You didn't have money to get into full character I know but when he didn't have money he was popping them fooboo And getting those big jeans on that's I'm sure that's like this is all big and tall shit At this point you've been bitten by the werewolf. Yeah, it's a rock. Oh, it's a rock aware shirt or something So I call it a racer That t-shirt that t-shirt is like a fucking uh is like a south pole or something All right, timberland. All right, bring it back. We're gonna see it one more time And we gotta give him the first things we heard me say I speak to we gotta we gotta get over the Wait, you gotta see the arm he high he high fives with one hand the other I'm swinging out that way that hand comes swings back grabs the mic and that hand goes to the Doesn't waste a movement. No, not a movement doesn't waste the movement My economy of movement is fantastic At this point, I would tell you it's downright scientific By the shirt David moffox mullins you guys shit on a guy in the penances you have to let him Absolutely, which I fucking love guys. Uh, yeah the science is in shirts available over at david box moffantaka. It's economically fair That's fair. Yeah, it's just actually right then you go. I don't know. I'll say you're like 40 shirts I am the science I'm gonna ask you to tear your art apart. There's 50 shirts. Arry's two stops away Two stops away. All right. Well, it's all right. Listen. You should tell him to watch the clip we put out So he's at least The fact that you don't think we're gonna watch this part over and over again is nuts. We can but I'm gonna study it We're buddy when we come back from commercial. Yeah, it's gonna be it's on. Let's go. It's on a popping. Let's go as jay would say As 97 jay would say It's one important. Oh, yeah, do you have any of the philly fucking eggs in? Oh my god We're getting fucking haggie jay Combined two accents. Oh, here it comes. Yeah, I don't know what this accent is. I mean, I hear the philly, but whatever the Yo, y'all Oh, it's so good Swagger That's what my down Everybody ready to laugh now Let's keep it rolling then That's what I know That was why would you say that's the greatest approach That's the greatest joke approach young comic joke approach. He goes great great He goes into it and then I start Giving us speed. Oh, we have we watched this part. I love this. He goes you're gonna laugh now Like now it's about to start. Yo, yo now you guys were left now Uh-oh, which one y'all cracked me open Uh-oh y'all just spilled the hilarity Y'all better clean this up because there's too much hilarity on the carpet You fucking I'ma tell you though. That's that that's not confident That's confidence that I did not have starting out like I know you can see the trepidation when you're getting ready for the joke But the the coolness of you being like you couldn't act like a black guy when you first came out I mean, I kind of was I was doing chappelle basically you gotta hear my speech We don't know if it's the beginnings of a bit I I'm hoping sure That I'm setting up something uh that I'm setting up something like You know like like a piece or so. Yeah, some kind of a punch Because when I start talking right away, all I start talking about is I'm a white I do black rooms. I'm a white guy here. It's just giving me my fair shit It's asking me I'm asking me to give me a fair shake. Yeah, I've come from across the tracks It's so it's so I'm like I'm here to make your people laugh. Please be getting to us. Please be getting to a bit Yeah, you know Let's hear it black brothers white brothers. Here we go. Listen to it. It's fine. Pull it back. How you doing? How you fucking done? This is primarily an all black club. I played them usually all black clubs I'm used to it. I don't try to win you guys I don't know what you guys are doing. I'm sorry. I got this is gonna take me five hours Listen guys, uh, you know, I understand that there's been a racial divide in the city for quite some time I'm here to tell y'all That as this country is found in the great city of philadelphia Yeah, I don't care you're black Yeah, I don't care you yell at the movies. In fact, I'm gonna address that coming up But their hands too, dude I also tell you what might be happening with my shirt just to give you a little heads up It might be funny because I'm just the way looking the way it looks I do black clubs all the time If it was something I was wearing like a fucking uh, like now it's funny You it wouldn't even matter if you wore like a guns and roses or something shirts like a black show It's not shaking black people wear guns and roses stuff now. It's just like style stuff to wear like bands and shit That might be an inside out like shirt that was because here's the thing I had to shop big and tall So the shirts were they you could buy the hip-hop shirts There were the big if you just needed to t-shirts also It would be like I had one that was like animal from the muppets face on it Just stuff like or you can get like a superman logo or guns and roses maybe or something There's a reason you're wearing that shirt What we'll see at the end Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, is that part of the reveal? God, I love that you had a reveal in your shirt. I don't know. I don't know Early on five minutes set and there's a reveal jays closes all reveals back That was that was his name before science the reveal Yeah, at the end of the show at the end of the show, I didn't have confidence in my jokes So at the end I feel like I would have to reveal to you Jay, what are you gonna do if the crowd's not good? I'll show and I'll tell you I'll reveal everything Can you pull it back a little because I do want to see how you doing how you doing too Yeah No, no, no What's up, does everybody don't Everybody ready to laugh now now Let's keep it rolling there. How's everybody now? This is primarily an all black club. I play them usually all black clubs I'm used to it. I don't try to win you guys over in those special ways I don't try to pull those special moves talk about rap or rappers or rapping Trying to get you guys to be I don't think we should go past here. This is fantastic. I'm lost in awe of your fucking save the last dance comedy set I've learned a lot by watching your people Yeah, y'all love seasoning Yeah, I've observed Yeah, I've been observing y'all from fun. This is so funny I love it. Yeah, I gotta talk about rap or to hippity hop His pencil beard is fantastic. I'm not gonna say words like Oh my god, I can't wait. Oh, yes. Can we just see the front again waiting for is arie here Did you check in no, no, I I assume he ascends in I assume he drops in like fucking yeah, he just comes through the wall like I Turned into arie Arie just loop. He's a looper He loops right into fucking Paco Arie comes out of his mouth Hey guys, sorry. I was running late. I looped here. Oh, I loopered here. Sorry guys. I had to looper earlier Yo, when I'm watching this and I mean this you hate yourself inside. Yes What did I was encouraged to keep going? Yeah, yeah because Like everything from the very beginning of this if I was watching a comic a new comic now, I mean, I guess if they said he was like under a year in Sure. Yeah, but I'm saying like but even under a year in like the like the Weird everything about it is weird. You're saying that he goes. All right, y'all ready for it now. All right now We're gonna get it now. We're gonna start laughing now y'all All right now we got to do it now for real now This is why I feel bad for comics starting now because they have to put this out This was found when I don't know what your friend's going through a divorce or an attic fire But they found it and they were like, oh my god. I uploaded it. You could watch it and we go like a relic And you're you now you're a successful comedian. I love that jay's always had an encouraging white girl in his corner Play it back. You can hear jay me If you buy a jay action figure it comes with the support of white girl Play it back. You can hear it in the back It is as small as black people black audience is gonna go Oh no And she goes when at first she goes yeah And it's jay me. Yeah But that's what I mean. Jamie had to find this and send it to you versus like a lot of people that start now Their open mic is on instagram within six hours. Yeah, like you see it they go I did an open mic and you're like, what are you doing? You do by the way? I see What I'm right is is that reels? I guess when it's something If you go right on instagram it's like being like videos and you just I scroll up on those and it'll be kind of the similar things over and over again Where it's like Yeah, it's it's the algorithm. Yeah or rhythm, but I get it's alga either way you want to say if you're fishing the alga You're hanging one sec the agr the agr they uh No, when it gets into those it's like people where I'm almost convinced they're performing for an empty room Oh brother remember that guy we found but I think I think a lot of people do that. I know I think a lot of people we found that guy. Yeah, like their belief is like The joke's good. Yeah doesn't matter what's going on with the audience. That's not the truth Because a lot of times you see you guys did you guys did new jokes last night You guys think it's gonna be funny and you do something and then you say and you go well. Fuck you That was so funny up here I actually did a performance piece last night. You did. Oh my god. I got the video before already gets here I can give you a little taste of this. This was funny. So we had three one word topics We got to just hit at some point from the fans from the fans But we had to go up on stage with the piece of paper You guys were doing what uh, hs tiki toki was doing to louis thorough in the documentary where you're like Oh, yeah, I'll say that I heard your friends with jimmy savable. Yeah He's like no, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's good. You the pito. You good friend pito. You're friends of pito um No, so bobby went up first God bless him and his his topics were uh dicks bloodletting oh and uh nicknames Okay, and bobby went up there and by the way god bless his heart. I promise you Whatever he says beyond this would be a lie and it's i'm impressed With the reality of it. Bobby started what he was doing with no fucking idea where he was gonna go and he did make it at the end Make sense. You pull you landed it, but i'm telling you as a 30-year vet. Yes I landed the plane. Did you now can I ask you but I landed like the plane they did in uh, pennsylvania on september 11 Everybody dies Yeah, some people get to go to the pentagon to grieve you gotta go to a field in pa Yeah, they went to the plane. They went down but bobby saved the monument or something. Yeah, dude. That's why we call bobby flight 93 He's united 93. So bobby goes He's out there and his first one is gonna be dig. I told him too. I go I go tell them that we're like Picking a word. We got you know three words that we have to kind of make some funny out of from the radio show You give yourself a little Like a buffer of that at least yeah, don't go shame yourself because the crowd also up to this far the people we have watched Just was eating shit And then will goes up there and eat shit with them Let me tell you about that Let me tell you about that Daniel Simonson and will silvans should do a movie together because it's just funny to watch like they It's two people like that don't They both don't want to be there, but they're will's committed to being there with them and Daniel just wants to leave He's like please like why you why you what you have your weird voice? He goes, please I'm sorry that I asked you a question. Can I please leave? I'd like to go now I always I was I try to do his voice, but I can't but I do the locker. I will I do the um voice from Twin peaks or I'm drawing Yeah He lives in the black lodge Really Really, I don't know What you are talking so bobby goes up and he goes yes, we have to do these things Uh It was so the way he did it was so that i'm telling you I felt no i'm not joking about this This is why I started laughing myself Was it felt like the light the lighting changed in the room because bobby put his stuff down He took his scally cap off put down and he goes see how we gotta do this thing with uh for the show We each got a topic and he goes I hate dicks I've hated him since oh my god that long ago he goes used to love dicks and uh Now I don't when I was young, you know, I was like you guys you guys were young and somebody like dicks right like dicks But it was like he's like a one-man show remember the uh the fucking or the what's the armistice and fred armistice Yeah, where he's like daddy Why is mommy not going to be here this year by the time I was 13 years old? Like that's what bobby's thing felt he goes he goes so we're doing this thing I hate dicks I don't even know when it happened. Oh, I used to love dicks dude, and then at one point I looked at the one light Yes, he was in a light and I'm telling and then He hypnotized me. I don't know what the fuck he's doing and then he goes Yeah, he goes Wait, do you guys think I'm talking about like peen? No, no, no, I mean like dicks like guys that are assholes Like now I don't like them when I was young I like guys And the crowd kind of and they they sort of bought in And they took that little journey with it. I was like the fuck just had I don't know what happened I don't know if you've watched it was hypnotizing. I don't know if you watch david voxmole's thing though You want to take a left when they're ever the audience is taking a right You know what I'm saying I put one up and went caught dicks if my dick's big this dick and talk about I went the other way You know what? He did tell you he did tell you you run his favorite kind of comedy I think we all do know yeah is my favorite style of comedy absurdity Observer that's what that's what I I've taken a workshop and now I know dvm dvm Anybody would have saw dicks and went up and went dicks are ugly, but that's not the dvm way. No, dude. I went dicks I men named richard Men me and dan are mean men When I was younger when I was younger I loved dicks. I was a dick. You understand? I love mean people, but now I hate dicks I have serenity. Oh, and he goes to me nicknames nicknames y'all He goes he goes nicknames are fucking because everyone had a nickname, right? It was like it's good everybody had nicknames with each other and they would talk to us and he goes What's your name? And then the guy just had a name that there was nothing so you could do with and then he goes How about your name? He goes He's like ray. He's like, but it's that is a nickname and he goes that's not what I mean Not playing along. Yeah, stop it. You're not doing it right. He's just it's not what I mean. No, that's a different kind of nickname. God damn it God damn it. That's a short name. Stop my bloodletting was probably my best piece of the night Yes, bobby's but you'll hear all this by the way. We have the tape. We play tomorrow We'll play tomorrow the tapes from the cellar, but bobby goes I don't remember much of it. He just goes Bloodletting he goes that's like a thing, you know people that's how they used to like if he was sick They'd be like you they cut you open and try to just let it bleed out. He goes George Washington did that No, no for no no, I went I went George washing did that I went I think yeah, I think I think that's like I almost even the freak comes in the room. He's like I think right like that's Damn, dude, you should have taken that shit to a coffee house They would have carried you out of there. Ari's here, right? I guess we'll just watch the intro again and let Ari get a taste the intro and then we'll all start Could you not watch the intro over and over again? There's so much. I know that there's so much more I don't I I'm very excited. I want I want a big hit now I'm saying but we gotta get the first joke in jay If we have time while Ari's here. Yeah, great saying Ari's walking in so I'm saying before commercial break You should we should get him. Is he going to look homeless? Yeah He looks like he looks like they caught a like the unabombers assistant. Oh, he does Like yeah, they found him in the woods making fucking play like with building schematics I was I picture I was just gonna look like Richard dryfuss and jaws. I'm Richard Not Richard dryfuss the guy the sea captain. Oh, yeah, quint quint quint All right Whatever you guys have you guys want to play it, but we're gonna have to take a break in in like What seven minutes eight minutes? Oh, yeah, let's get the first joke and then we come back. Do we have reeds today? No, oh, we have to do so take the break. What happens to mickey glazer still take those from you guys. Yeah She's gonna be here. Oh Yeah, I'm gonna take those reeds with me We have a meeting tomorrow Oh my god, he looks like a mayoral candidate from san francisco in the 70s How do you walk the street and not get attacked? You look like you're running for hate ashberry mayor Hey, what's up? It's flowers. Ari went back to his roots. Yeah Oh, so good to see you dude. Yeah, you came on a good day The windows who am I gonna ask here? Oh Man, I'm no longer employed here so you could get buck-ass next year I want that cock swing and go give Bobby a hug you fucking fed my dog jelly beans. We've been We're hanging out with Ari. He was at our apartment and he was eating I jelly beans on the table. He's eating him. Then he kept putting his hand to myrtle's mouth Katie was laughing about me going from joking to serious because I went Hey, yeah, can you not feed my dog jelly? She's been saying that all week She goes, hey, can you please not feed my dog jelly? One of those moments where I got serious Hey, could you not feed my dog jelly beans? All right, please don't I have to clean up the diarrhea. Sorry You guys are gonna beat yourself All right, stop we have to get to it. We have a short amount of time Ari, wait till you see this We have a long way to go in a short time to get there Is this a piece of shit, Jay? Is this a piece of shit, Jay years? Put on the headphones. No, put on the headphones Piece of shit's not even the right thing for it. This is just this is my first. Oh, this is my first months in comedy Within the first year only black shows. Yeah, and this is the laugh This is now where I feel probably my most confident the laugh house where I reign supreme on thursdays behind only a one kevin heart crazy That you shot up the rankings on thursday to uv little kev the bastard. I was doing all I was pretty confident and pretty comfortable on thursday Just watch but I'm telling you about watching this and I'll tell you this. This is what gets me about it Is I don't see what anyone saw to let me continue past this point That's what I'm saying. I don't understand why I've done shows besides here With the way I've sounded already now. All right, let me catch you up the yeah in the woo You're gonna be hearing. Yeah is the woman who provided the tape. Yeah. Well, so it's jay's friend Jay So the black audience is not in fact enthused to see jay jay's travel with an encouraging white girl From the get go I feel like black black rooms. He doesn't just live with one I feel like black rooms have like shitty white comics the way like china will just invite any blonde chick to a party Look, look how cool we are white is a blonde round eyed woman Um, absolutely funny. You say white comic. I start I start, uh You'll hear but you just That's not you I do the years before long here This is pre is a bell existing You know jay practice his cut it in the mirror Pause cut it. You don't know keith robinson at this point. Probably not. No, he was in the back If you take that kid to new york city, they'll eat him alive And I'm here to watch tell the white girl to beat it and I'll never have a problem with my blood pressure Now bring this white kid up to it new york This is not camera. This is a fucking sony handi-cam. Oh my god. Start over please. Yeah, I because I didn't know I was like that's the mc for sure. I just say something right now. I'm so glad we didn't do this yesterday Oh, yeah, this is too that's too right hosting. Oh start again. Didn't that bring up too gay? Nice So nervous Oh my god, it's jake and I tell you it's not what you're saying as much as how you're saying Because you you're leaking it out. You're going You ask how they're doing too many times, of course just to get set They're just they're showing the fear. All right, waity here. We've already heard a little bit past this Just I mean literally a few cents past this and my whole beginning that all we've gotten to is me Smoothing things over before I start I started informing them that I'm white. It's okay He cuts the music and then he what about the kids is Right here Yes For a second, although this was blazing thursdays where I was To raise blazing thursdays Yeah, I love that they put the white girl in the back Good birds You're just alienating them hey you guys are only into rap Hey, I know you guys usually move to the sound of a rhythmic beat What I do is like your words to run you break the beat athletes I do stuff better than that Who's better be fucking good Can you wow look at that shitty fucking beard? That's stupid beard. Oh my god clearly doesn't connect. It's like a bridge that went out. You're like googlebop says go My shit my beard didn't connect to my mustache till four years ago Yeah, oh my god. Look at his fucking nephatiti hoop earrings By the way hadn't figured out how to handle the eyebrows just yet either I don't mind them though. They look like inchworms. Yeah, they do Ben Shapiro little caterpillar fucking eyebrows Oh my god, go go go go. I get you guys to be on my side shit If I'm funny, I'm funny. Blah, please If I suck, boom me off the stage, you know, I mean just give me a fair chance. I don't try to When you guys are already Wait something's coming Don't move don't move that's something's coming face right there. Don't move. That's a mean that's a brain picture. That's break Break Come on. Hold on guys. You got a break like this Oh, I gotta tell you what jim mcclure said to me very outside when there are no uncertain terms Describe the hell out of everything you're seeing in this video. That's really funny Um, Dan Soder is on the golden retriever of comedy tour and he's gonna be at the paramount huntington Long set two shows right? Yeah 9 30 9 30 still available long island saturday April 4th and after that he's gonna be in charlotte Durham, north carolina Mun, uh, munhaul pa. Yeah, it's like trying to be pittsburgh or it's outside of pittsburgh I like these fucking these theater cities are always right outside the major city. Yeah Well at first I said pittsburgh and then people in pittsburgh like dude, that's not pittsburgh It's let's go with the credits. We have My am I hope you know cleveland in columbus, ohio for tickets and all of his dates go to danesorder.com Listen to his podcast soter available wherever you listen. Yeah, arie schaffir's new story telling show premieres april 16th Pre-order right now at arie schaffir.com and of course listen to arie's podcast You'd be tripping available wherever you listen to podcasts all three of these guys don't give up I've done the show Weekend I mean that's all I want to get this weekend. 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