Ep 83: You Up? Lifestyle Sexting Do’s, Don’ts, and WTFs!!

find us at VanillaSwingers.com and you'll find Kat's OnlyFans page there too you wish hey Kat yeah Leo I'm going to record one of those silly disclaimers that you put at the beginning of the podcast like a parental advisory sticker let's go because this is going to be explicit it. Oh yeah, we're going to talk about lots of sex. Lots of bad language. We might even have sex while on the podcast. We might have listening to the noise of our lovemaking. There might be nudity. But you can't see it on the podcast. It doesn't matter. You can hear it. You can hear the nudity. We might corrupt you if you're under the age of 18. That's a disclaimer. Don't listen. We're not professional. What else? We're not professionals. We know nothing. Absolutely nothing. And if you want to try to sue us, well, we don't have any money either. Because this is bite-sized and commercial free. We're not trying to make any money. It's fun. Fun. Fun. So if you like it, And tune in and listen. Yeah. Word. It's Leo. It's Kitty Cat. So tonight, I'm feeling really mellow. Okay. So we're going to have a mellow, yellow. Chill vibe. Pod. You know, people have asked before, are you guys like this all the time? Are you always sort of this high energy? Yes. Yeah. I mean, when we're out and about. When we're out and about at home, we're not like a mile a minute. We definitely have an on and then we definitely have an off. Are you feeling off tonight? I wouldn't say off. I'm just feeling mellow. Are you feeling like the 70s radio DJs? And now we're going to play. Yes, I have. I actually think they're pretty good. You probably hate them. I like Yoo-Hoo's. I mean, if we're going to talk about off-brand drinks. You know what? That is a crazy concoction that tastes strangely better than it should. Yeah, Yoo-Hoo. Is it even milk? It probably isn't. I don't think it is. Yoo-Hoo. It is chocolate, though, and you know how much I like chocolate. Do you know what? I gave up chocolate muffins. Oh, you did. I've been to Costco twice and I haven't bought them. You're breaking the addiction? Yeah. That roll tide, Alabama, reintroduced into our lives, I was eating the muffins. Yeah, I have other addictions now. I'm going to go with those. So you do, apparently. Yeah, I do. For me, I would say I'm an extrovert, but I don't get my energy from other people. It drains your social battery. That's right. Which is why it's really nice when we have it naughty. We have our room. We can recharge, reinvigorate ourselves before we go out back onto the promenade or back out into the hallways and turn it back on. But I don't mind giving it all away. I don't mind draining it to zero. You're going to drain it and you're going to give it all away. I go out there and I give it my all. So I love it. It actually, I don't know. I like it a lot. But you might be interested to see Leo when he's off the clock. I don't know. Oh, she's seen us like that. She's seen us all different ways. All different ways. She's probably seen every facet. There's a lot of people that have seen us all different ways. Yeah, lots of facets to Kat and Leo. All the sides of us. The front sides. Well, I remember just speaking of that, I sent a non-sexy photo to someone I was sexting. It was just kind of a cute photo of me. And he was really surprised. And he said, well, that was different. I'm like, well, that's just another side of me. Remember that when I was standing at the Haight-Ashbury sign? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just looked really cute. I had this little cute smile on my face. I don't know. You look really vanilla. That's what I would say. You were wearing like a puffer jacket. And I'm like, don't. Should I not have said that? Doing like a touristy thing. Yeah, exactly. Although, Haight-Ashbury, that's a fun little area there. They've got some vintage like clothes shops and things you walk into. They've got some cute little bars. We have done that as a couple. You can smell the incense burning. Yeah, you can smell the 70s free love. I would have been down with some 70s free love. That's because you like the bush. You like, oh, natural. You've been so happy. So we did the Hustler interview. And we mentioned before what he wrote was like a love letter. I can't even believe. I'm so humbled. I'm almost embarrassed by the things that he said. We didn't put him up to it. I promise. I really didn't give him a blowjob. I think he had a crush on you, though. There's no question about it. He had a crush on you. His name's Hustler Todd. He's our friend. And he was just fun. Like, he'd be fun to go get a drink with. He was just a really cool guy. So we are going to put that up as our About Us page. because we don't have anything else that we can think of. But I don't think that's why you mentioned that. You were mentioning Hustler because... One of the reasons why is because I wanted to find out what does a Hustler magazine even look like? I've never laid hands on one before, so I ordered a vintage one, and it's coming on Friday. They're a little raunchier than Playboy, from what I understand. And you know I wasn't going with a 2026 issue. I'm going with like... 1976. 90, 89 or something. That's not vintage enough. You need probably the 70s. I don't even think you want 80s or 90s. Okay. Fair enough. I don't remember what year I got, But I think there was definitely some Bush. Bring back the Bush. And then we did get in the mail one of your eBay finds, one of the Swinger magazines, which we haven't broken open yet. We've got a half a dozen of them. But it looks a little Hustler-esque. And if that's what my app situation looked like, our apps are so sterilized, anesthetized. We said that the people in there, they were very real. And I think part of the reason is because there's not a lot of... Enhancements. Enhancements. I think everybody was just really natural. Very natural. And they all had shaggy hair. Everybody, the guys, the girls. It was just lots of hair. Down below, up on their head. Yeah. Yeah, it did seem like the free swinging 70s. But we haven't opened it yet. And from at first glance, it does look very hustler-esque. And I can't even believe that this is a swinger magazine and this is how people chose their play partners. On the cover, there's one guy, two girls, a brunette and a blonde, and everybody's got shaggy hair. And it's 92 pages of... And they're all naked. Fuck your neighbor. And I, for one, would like to fuck our neighbor. No, not really. No, not really. But in theory... I don't think we've ever had a hot neighbor that I'd want to fuck. Although... Yes, yes. Although we did have a pair of lesbians that lived across the street. That's because we live in California. And if they were hot, I guess I would have sent you across the street to go bring them some warm chocolate chip cookies. Oh, how about some muffins? Oh, yeah. We go muff diving. Do some scissoring. I've decided I'd really like to do some scissoring. Did I tell you that already? Well, you know what? That's great that you say that because this Friday we're going to be seeing a roller girl from Denver, Colorado. She's relocated up to Oakland. She's relocated to our area. I mean, ish. And speaking of bi girls, she's a little more than bi. I think she was married to a girl for 10 years. So Kat's going to have a lot of fun with that one. I'm going to be just all in. And I've told you recently that when it comes to the MFFs, probably my favorite part, bar none, is the Girl Girl stuff. And I don't think I would have thought that going in because I didn't really gravitate towards watching Girl Girl stuff in porn. And you are pretty much, you're not a watcher. So when you're playing, you're like, I want to be involved. And so watching, that seems a little like anathema to you. Yeah, well, you know, the MFM stuff in porn is a lot more carnal. Did you know that's my favorite word ever? MFM? Anathema. That's been my favorite word since I was like, I don't know, young. Yeah, you got that one unlocked. I discovered that one in a vocabulary and I just decided I like that word. And it comes out a lot. I just like it. No, I like MFM a lot too, though. But the MFFs, they seem a little tame to me watching it in porn. But in person, surprisingly, it is no question the hottest takeaway from the MFFs. And I think that most guys, they feel the same way. Like these single guys we talk to, when we ask like, hey, what's your fantasy? Of course, it always involves two girls. And when we tell them that that's kind of our dynamic, they're like, oh, if I could just be a fly on the wall. and watch you guys. I think the hottest thing is when I'm inside either you or her. Is that grammatically correct? Is it you or she? You know, my mom was the kind of person who always correct me with that stuff. Yeah, it's her. But I was too dumb to take her guidance. I could tell you why it's her, but I'm not going to because I would just bore everybody. I'm the C student. Whatever. I'm the D student. I know. I probably had like a 2.0 grade point average. Barely made it out of school. But you know what? It freed up my mind for some other things that were more important. C students rule the world. Oh, you think so? You rule my world. I rock your world. You do rock my world. I don't know if I rule it. You probably rule my world. Yeah, we take turns. You'll be the queen. I'll be the jester. I like being the king. That sounded even better. Make you laugh. And if I don't, off with my head. Okay. But being inside of you or her while you or she is going down on, what am I talking about? There's just too many people in the bedroom here. Too many pronouns. Make it stop. I lean over and I go alongside yours or her head while you guys are doing your thing. And it's hot. And sometimes I, too, and I spit on it. Sometimes I'm licking. Sometimes I'm making out. And yeah, that just sticks with me long after. Yeah. Did you have a lot of that during our MFFF? Or was it more you were off with a wounded gazelle single gal? You got snatched by, because we did have some very bi ladies. So they were as excited to get you as they were me in the bedroom. And they would grab you and they would say, don't worry about her. We're going to take care of you. I mean, that's literally what they said. And then there'd be one extra off to the side on a separate bed. And I would need to go and I would have to comfort her. So that's what I did. That was so kind of you. I did show one of my new sexters, right? who's going to hopefully turn live because I realize that's where I'm going to have to go. I got to find sexters. I'm going to turn them live. You know how we're going to turn them live? How? We're going to travel a lot. I'm going to help you. Yeah. Because I have a really good knack for taking nebulous ideas and actually talking them into reality. I'm sure that's why we're doing the pod. It's because of you. Do you know that some of our very, very, very first pods that never came to light. We did them in Florida. We were visiting Florida. We were alone. We weren't with the family at the time. And I remember we were sitting in a really hot car and we put out like a sunscreen that we bought from Walmart. Oh my gosh, we look so janky, okay? We were sitting in the hot car and I think we almost, yeah, we did, we brought the sun visors. But that's where our original intro came from. I think the original intro was done in our driveway. Okay, okay, not the intro, maybe the end. And it was done on one take and we did a number of takes, but we only used the first one. No, something we did. We didn't write anything down, but we do, we have a whole lost episodes somewhere. Many, many. And they were probably terrible because we're still terrible. And that was when we were really, really terrible. Well, sound production was really, really awful. But let's talk about the gift that's going to keep on giving from, I don't know, what do you want to call it? Mr. and Mrs. Rumbling Cat's Jungle? I'm still working on their name. Okay, it's a work in progress. We did receive it in the mail. It was waiting for us when we got home from the AVNs. Let me tell you something. And we are going to break it out. Kat went in and she comes out with this box that is literally hard to fit in an open car door. The postman asked me, do you need help with that? And I'm like, oh my God, it's got a Sibit in there. No, I think I'm okay. At least it wasn't vibrating when you came out. It was not vibrating. Normally, I would just be chilling in the car. You'd put it in. We'd hop in and drive away. I was like, help me. I had to get out of the car to help her. It's so big. It was huge. I don't know how big the Sibian is, but hopefully that thing's got some padding in there. We have not unearthed it. We have not opened it yet. It's been a little busy since we got home, but we are going to bring it with us to see Roller Girl. We're hatching an idea to do a whole series with the Sibian with all the girls in our life. We're going to call it the Big O Chronicles. I like that. You're hatching that idea, really? Oh, oh, oh my God, my ugly face. Well, at least you'll get me on audio. I don't mind. I volunteer. I do not mind. Did you volunteer? Yes, I did. I'm going to take it for a spin this weekend. I'm very excited. We're going to have to set up mics and everything. I think most of the girls will probably agree to it. The problem is we can't really travel with that thing on a plane. It's fucking huge. We'll see. You know, we'll see. We can get it to LA. It's like traveling with a saddle, is my guess. English or Western? I don't know. The big one. Whichever one's the big, for the big, big horse cock. I think you would like the Western. What do they call that? The pommel. I want to hold on to that pommel. You want to get pummeled by the pommel. I'm going to ride that pommel. Yeah. You make a terrible horse. I make a terrible lot of things, actually. Yeah. I only do a few things, and I try to do those well. I don't know what they are. They're yet to be discovered. You're a pretty good lover. Oh. Well, that's really sweet of you. You're so nice. Yeah. I mean, you're so nice. I'm so nice. I'm so nice. I'm going to take all that out. you mean that's gonna end up on the cutting room yes you're welcome i think that part of the reason i'm feeling a little mellow is because we're still recovering from las vegas avianna wars well when you stay up all night one of the nights and get like two hours of sleep i think it was one i got two hours it was terrible it was one but yeah yours was two yeah i got a whole two hours of sleep you know it's still it takes a few days to recover and we are still recovering a bit for sure I had a nap today. I know. That's some OMC shit. Yes, it is. I felt like I was coming out of a coma. Have you ever had one of those where you try to rouse yourself and you feel like you've been buried alive in a coffin? So you weren't. You're six feet under dirt and you're pounding on the. Yeah, that was me today. You weren't wanking it while I was out of the house. I wasn't the wanking dead. Damn it. Damn it. I like it when you wink it. I had a heart on while I was sleeping. Oh, because we got such spank bang material now. I mean, we just got hot stuff. You and me. That's twice last night. I know. Before bed. just randomly. I know. We watched Train Dream. No, I'm not even going to talk about that. No plug. It was terrible. What a terrible, terrible. It was depressing. It was depressing and we were trying to have sex during it. Is it actually up for an Oscar nom? I don't know. That's crazy. But being on the red carpet is fun. Yeah, it's the lead man. He's going to be walking the Oscars red carpet. He's not going to work for me. No. He's depressing. No, I agree. I agree. His wife was pretty cute. She died though. I know. In a house fire. Yeah. That's awful. It was not a house fire. She died in a wildfire. I would say the TLDR on that movie is Unremarkable Man Leads an Unremarkable Life. And there is nothing to wait for. We kept thinking, it's going to get really good, and it never did. It never did. Well, every year around this time, I try to funnel some of these Oscar-nominated movies into our Netflix show. So we can be really cultured and know what the hell they're talking about. That way, you're not totally clueless. I'd rather just watch some rom-coms and some swinger shows. I'd be happier that way. That almost rolled off your tongue like swinger shit. It did. I try not to say that word. I thought you were halfway to saying it. I know. That's not really my vocab. You don't swear like a sailor. I really don't, except if I'm having an orgasm. Yeah, you do. Then I'm good. You did last night. Actually, that one didn't involve me. That one was a vibrator. So I just sat off to the side like a jester trying to entertain you. You should have taken an audio memo. I bet I know why you'd like me to take an audio memo. And it sure as hell wasn't for me. And I don't think it's for the listeners either, Kat. Is that what we're talking about tonight? Leo. Are we talking about sexting? Yes. It's my favorite subject that I'm addicted to right now. It's funny because the very last episode, I sounded like a fully enlightened man. And now you're unenlightened. And today I just got up from a nap. And I'm thinking, what in the world was I thinking? We're going to start from the very beginning to where sexting was a dirty word. And we're really going to also give you some advice on how to text in the lifestyle. Because you've got to know what you're doing. Because things can go really sour when you're sexting other people that aren't your partners. Well, to set the table, at least from my perspective, this is the part where some of the husbands will lean in and listen. I started out vehemently not liking it. Because I felt like people have side door access to you. I just don't really care for that. You said like they've got unilateral access to me, almost like they're trying to date me. And you're like, you're a part of a couple. You're married. I would have made a good sheepdog in another life. I was not going to lose anybody in my flock. And I'm in your flock? I am the only one in your flock. To a stray wolf that comes along. It doesn't matter if it's a fox in the hen house. I'll make a decent rooster. But there's no question that as I sit here today, I would probably describe myself as a more evolved man. And probably the main reason is it's a combination of feeling guilt because of the imbalance between the MFFs and the MFMs. Because fair is fair. And I think I found myself today saying to myself, because sometimes I talk to myself, did you know that a study came out saying that people who talk to themselves are dumb as a rock? They are. They're more intelligent. Psychological problems. They better be. Voices in their head. Did you really talk to yourself? Was I home? I did, sort of. I don't talk out loud. Oh, you don't talk out loud? I talk out loud. Oh, well, okay. Well, then that's why you're smarter than I am. I've got voices in my head, you know? Some people will then say, what are you talking about? I'm like, oh, damn, I was just talking to myself. But I literally said, voices in my head said. Listen to yourself. This is your today self talking to your yesterday self. The reason you need to be enlightened is because this is the price of admission for all the strange, all the sex. For going six for six MFFs. You got to give Kat a little bit. Who's keeping score? Nobody's keeping score. You know what? As long as we having E fun that could be MFF That could be hanging out with a couple doing some E stuff in the middle of the casino See there you go again I thought that was just going to roll off your tongue I just really I feeling really Let me fix that for E shit Yeah And you came home today and from power now By the way, I ain't being no OMC. You an unk. We go hard. It's hard to probably quantify just how hard we go. Yeah, if you were staying with us, you'd be like, damn. Yeah, we had one hour of sleep because we went for eight hours straight. I think we went to bed at 9 a.m. So yes, it was either that or going to a coma. I went into a coma. You said when you got home. I'm so happy. I really like doing E&M stuff. Yes. And I said, I do too. I do. And I'm excited for our date this upcoming weekend. I am excited for every event we kind of have in mind, even though we don't usually find play at the event. Did you just call it a date? Because I know you probably didn't mean it like that. Yeah, we're going on a date. I really like that. It's always a date when it's a girl involved. I like that a lot. You know, she wants to go on a date. Yeah. You know, we had that person on a Reddit thread or somebody, and they were talking about unicorns, sort of the blueprint. Who to pay, who pays, and, you know, does a unicorn pay for themselves? When you first said that, I thought, who pays? Are you talking about like a sex worker? We haven't done that. That is what people recommend. And that's what we recommended to this person because we felt like their intentions are probably not in sync. You've got to treat them like a human being and more so than a single guy, more so than even a couple because they have each other. Yeah, that's probably understating it a little bit. Single gals are emotional creatures and they're on a date. They want to enjoy this as more than just sexual, probably an emotional connection. You probably ought to treat them like a princess on a pedestal. We do. I don't mean that in a literal sense where you're just fawning over them like you haven't touched grass. Yeah, you don't need to be pandery. But you need to treat them unabashedly better than good. And we feel that way. We understand the hierarchy. And if you don't, then it ain't going to work for you. Unicorns are at the top. We as couples are secondary. And then at the very bottom are the single guys. So single guys, we ask them for photos. If they don't send extra photos, it's probably a nope. Single females, yeah, they could ask us for photos. I think that's probably one of the biggest mistakes that newbie couples make is not quite realizing where couples rank in the hierarchy. We oftentimes think we're higher up there than we are, but that's because we've said before, unicorns aren't really looking for couples. They're looking for single guys. First and foremost, they're looking for a partner, somebody who's a ride or die they can do things with, go out with. Couples are usually a placeholder. And sure, it's a lot of fun, especially when the gal is really bi or pansexual, so she's attracted to both equally. But at the end of the day, she's coming into a couple dynamic and it's not usually very super throupley that, you know, everybody's having a two-way connection here and a two-way connection there. And that's probably the second biggest misconception that newbie couples have when they first start their journey as it pertains to unicorns is that the unicorn has to be attracted to both people in the couple. But going back, I think when we approach unicorns, our feeling is to overdo it, not underdo it ever. You just go all in. And why are we talking about unicorns again? Over the top. I don't know. Because you're talking about why you're okay with the sexting. yeah but we need to go all the way back like really the beginning of the sexting where flintstones meet the flintstones that one they're a modern stone age family i want to know why in the hell they didn't swing on the flintstones oh they probably did they party and just hit them over the head with a club and dragged them into the cave yeah that was a swing in time but why on earth do you run with a car you know you could probably run without the car and it'd be a lot of you weren't even like square wheels or is that my imagination they were circular okay i think they were circular yeah they invented the wheel you have distracted me yeah we're going back to the stone ages yes the swinger ages it really this whole sexting thing started out when we were on the apps it was a simpler time i was always the one on the apps and so we didn't know they'll often say is it the wife or the husband i'm talking to and early on i always said it's the husband i just lied i said i'm the husband and then they would keep things very above board and early early on with their best behavior one of the first guys that we had played with early on. We had a repeat with him. We made it very clear when we texted back and forth that it was you. And when I hopped on, I'm like, hey, this is cat talking. You're talking about CrossFit. Uh-huh. Yeah. It's sort of like then. Yeah. He actually had all the trappings of a throuple. Throuple, not a throuple. He had some family matters that came up that got in the way. But yes, there was a separation of church and state. Separation of text and play. In a lot of ways. You really felt if I'm going to be playing with a guy, I shouldn't be texting him because that's just going to be too much emotional rollercoaster for me. I was mate guarding. Yeah. All the way. And I wasn't ready for it then. I would have been if he and I had been texting like I text these guys. I was so early on. I would have just been like in dreamy land. Well, when you're a newbie couple, you need to be careful. First starting out. Sexting is dangerous early on. There's no question that that feels like the biggest danger is that you're going to start some kind of emotional affair relationship. And that can be born from sexting. Maybe you only play together, but that sexting is a little bit unilateral. It's very solo. And you can definitely create some kind of emotional affair from that if you're new. But I do remember pretty well that there was a distinct separation of church and state where you made it very clear, even though you did all the texting, you made a big show of it to say, oh, this is actually me now. And in a way, it reminds me of how I am today with the girls. I never text. Yeah, there's occasionally, he might once in a blue moon write to someone and he'll put like a little Leo, he'll put a little lion emoji so they know he's writing. It happens so infrequently. It probably startles them a little bit. Takes the F out of them because you're like, whoa, what is that? This is a cat. What is Leo about to say? It must be really heavy. It must be really deep. And it doesn't mean that he doesn't dictate sometimes when I write to the girls. You know, Lana full on sexted with us. She like wrote all these scenarios of what she wanted to do with you and with me. That was our first experience with sexting. And the reason that I am the way that I do is because I am lazy, but it's also really born out of making it easier on you because. Well, I wouldn't want you to text. So I understand that what we're doing is completely imbalanced in that regard. But it's imbalanced in the same way that... Yours is imbalanced. In real life is imbalanced. So if I had as many MFMs as you have MFFs... I wouldn't let you be texting. Right, right. And we have gone so slow with the sexting, which we're going to kind of notate how it happened, how we've arrived to where we have where it's pretty freaking intense right now. But we didn't start that way. No. One of the very, very first ones was this guy. You called him Raton because he thought he looked like a rat. I thought he was pretty cute. Yeah, I didn't like him at all. And he was only in field and he was young and he was fairly immature. But his claim to fame was that he just texted. He was a gabber. He was talking every single day. He just popped into my field again, again, again. Let me stop you there for a second. Oftentimes, we have this weird thing on field or some of the different apps where they'll pop into the phone and under their list of interests or kinks, oftentimes they'll say things like rough, dominant. We've even had people say consensual, non-consensual. And that ain't going to work for us in the bedroom with my alpha male. That ain't going to work. He's like a silverback. That actually makes it look like you're going to be a... A silverback. Yes, the palette. He's like Donkey Kong. I don't know. I think I just strained a rib here. Listen, nine times out of ten, when they send a picture of themselves, I almost laugh out loud. I just... Oh, the dumb ones. Why is it that everybody who is into that always seems like the cringiest match? But why did this guy do that? I haven't seen a hot guy yet. This guy didn't seem rough. And so... He did call himself a bull. I look at it. And I think he laughed at him. Well, I'll get to that. Okay. I look at that and I can't take that seriously. I mean, if you're going to come in and you're going to be. I'm a bull. Some Jim bro. Yeah. Then you're like, okay, okay, okay, bro. I give it to you. I give it up to you. Yeah, I'm going to go, okay, well, you know what? If he's got some proclivities and different things. Doesn't mean I'm going to bring you. Doesn't mean I'm going to bring him in. Yeah, in our bedroom, but I'll give it up to you. You've got it going on. But it won't be LOL. This guy had a little bit of that where he was talking in a very forward way. You know, a lot of guys, they don't have good EQ. And this was the very first time we did that because when we text pretty early on after the CrossFit, I started just being myself. And guys seemed to be pretty respectful. And I don't talk to them very much before we made an in real life meetup. He would just write me every single day. Like he was just kind of, what's the word? He was eroding my, okay, maybe we should meet him. Sort of breaking down your walls. He was breaking down my walls. He wasn't really on my radar. He was wearing me down. He was wearing me down because he kept writing and I really enjoyed him writing. I just remember, yes, you like the dopamine, but I remember seeing a couple of things. And one of the things that really got under my skin was he would say some things like... Putting himself in first chair. Putting himself in first chair. I'll be f***ing you. While your husband... And then your husband is doing something else. First of all, I'm not sure. I mean, right now, as we stand in our journey, I'm not second chair ever. That will not happen. I'm not saying that at some point, you know, we've talked about it. Will I be able to leave the room and get us a drink and then come back in five minutes? But the sex thing has gotten a lot more intense to where if you read it all, and some of it I do read to you, it feels like their very first chair. But the optics, you've got to come in and you've got to show, a modicum of respect for the husband. You appreciate because they almost always, I want to do this with your husband. I want to, you know, I want to ravage you alongside him. Like they seem to understand I'm not coming out to play alone. And that's a tip for single males is you've got to show some deference to the husband because it's their relationship first. And then you are coming in and you've got to find out where you fit in there and having some respect. That's why a lot of people, when they first start out trying to find a match, they talk about we're looking for a respectful guy. Yeah. And it doesn't mean we want you to be like two-factor authentication in the bedroom. Yeah, we want a manly guy. In the bedroom. Right, but we want him to be respectful of our couple dynamic. You don't need to go straight to 100. But this guy, El Raton, as we call him. Well, you know, one of the reasons is because in some recent exchanges, I think you've had twice now, where somebody's asked you, do you play alone? Now, before, that would have been, you were going off in his head. And now I just humor. I'm like, no. But I don't immediately disconnect from the chat. We're not just bothered by it as we would have been at one time. But that's, again, that kind of falls in that same category. You've got to have a better EQ. But this guy, El Raton, okay, it also had to do with Leo didn't think he was good enough for me. He just thought I would be settling. You mean handsome enough. Yeah. I mean, that's really the bottom line. Below your pay grade. And it was the first time I had someone really sexting with me. It felt a lot like somebody coming in and saying, I like to be rough. And you didn't like it. So much so that at one point you told me, I don't like it. And I said, okay, okay, I will disconnect. I understand you vetoed it. And I didn't want to disconnect. And I was pretty darn butthurt about it because I'm like, oh, this was fun. Yeah, you were because you made a big show of it to say, okay, I went ahead and I deleted him. But you could tell you were basically saying, but I didn't like it. It's all your fault. I don't get any dopamine. I didn't like it, but that's what you have to do. If both parties don't like it, then you can't do it. And I did. I disconnected. We never talked again. I saw him come up in my feed again and he harded me again, but I never connected with him again. And I always thought, yeah, he's probably wondering, what the hell did I say? It's funny though, over time when you are in talks with somebody and then you leave it and then you come back to it. Oftentimes cooler heads prevail. you can see he probably wasn't a match. No, because I have now decided sexting is a lot of fun. There's I'll go to the next step where we went. But sexting is a lot of fun. I like to sex with someone that I would want to bring in the bedroom with me. That if I could teleport him to me, I would. That was the issue. Yes. Raton. You kept saying, well, maybe we could set up a meet and greet in the Bay Area with him. Because honestly, the personality and kind of the flirtatious nature we had going on back and forth, I would have probably had some of my defenses down and I probably would have liked him more than I should have. And I was telling you, I already have him in the trunk of our car. So if you want to come see him hogtied, just come out to the parking lot. I didn't need to disconnect, did I? He was never coming back. Rat poison. He was a two out of ten, and he ain't never coming back. And then the very next one, because this was an evolution, right? I never sexted anybody we played with. So all the people you've heard about, Surfer Boy, Shy Guy, Ruski, I never texted them post-play. Like, we don't do that kind of thing. But I had somebody reach out to me. He was part of a couple. He reached out to me on Reddit. And we were in the middle of play one night. I think we'd exchange telegrams. He's just like, I could be an MFM for you. We play solo. I could be there next time I'm in town and we're having an MFF and he slides in. And I'm like, we're actually in the middle of a threesome. And he and I proceeded to sext during that first threesome. And it was hotter than a grease fire. I absolutely loved it. His wife was next to him. He was sending me videos of him with his wife from earlier. I hardly sent him anything, but it was really hot. Well, you like words. I love words. I will get off. Like if I hear what you said or I read it, that will go over and over. That's orgasmable for me. Is that a new word? Yes, it's orgasmable. Orgasmable. Words do it. And I'll say it to my play partners in person. I don't mind if you compliment me. Tell me what you like you see. Tell me what you like to hear. But guys are not really wordy. Well, it depends. If you're wired that way, that's one thing. But it's hard to just do it on the fly. So I had this guy in my phone and he was a wordy dude. And it was really hot. But at the end of the day, I had seen one like three second photo of him. And I wasn't really sure he'd be somebody I would have brought into the bedroom with him. Yeah. And so I think I approached it in a way that I was guard up a little bit suspicious. But you knew it was fun and it provided a lot to me. I know you liked it, but I think my feeling was always that are we leading to meeting this person in real life? Not him. He wasn't anywhere nearby. It took me a long time before I realized that a lot of these sexters, they just sort of come and go. Well, you also have realized since. So then there was a Brit guy, Brit boy. He came in like two different times and you knew I didn't want to meet him. I'd seen one photo of him and he sent some amazing audio memos with his accent. That's what it is. Telling me how hot he was. I'm sizing them up for in real life. And that's what's happening is every time you show them, again, Brit boy, I saw him. And you're like, ah, that ain't going to work. I said, that's probably not going to be a match. But then I have to sit here off to the side and act like bite my tongue because I don't want to rain on your parade. I was going to say shit on your parade. Shot all over me. That'd be terrible. That would be. Imagine if you were in a parade and all of a sudden shit started falling from the sky. That's kind of like that documentary you saw where, what was it, a hippo? I think that was AI. Got attacked? Oh. The hippo was being chased by some leopard or cheetah. Okay. And then all of a sudden the tail spun around and had like explosive shat on his parade as if that was like some defense mechanism in the law of the jungle. I don't think that that was real. And so early on with the sexting, though, it was only limited to if I were going to have a threesome with a girl, that'll be something extra for me. Basically, I would give the play by play. Oh, my God, she's going down on me right now. Don't you wish that was you? And we'd go back and forth. It was really, really, really, really hot. Like, I really liked it. Yeah, that was the impasse. I've always been measuring the drapes for meeting them in real life. and in a lot of instances, I felt like they're not a match. The early ones. Why are we going down this road? Why are they being intimate with my wife? With words. And you're right. You're like, how do you find sexters? Those two were random. I think I actually found them on Reddit totally by accident. Then I had my first fantasy guy come through because I was set in Vegas in Field and he, in his profile, he was looking for virtual sexters. Tattoo boy. We never got a full-on thing with him because he ended up not showing up when we were going to have a threesome and he actually said, I'm sorry, I can't make it. What you kept doing was you kept lining these guys up to coincide with an MFF because in the middle of play... I'm insatiable. I'm absolutely... You would be sexting. I'm so insatiable. Oh my God. And you would be kind of given play by play. It would be like having the carnal energy in the bedroom with me while we three were playing. It was so hot. Having that extra male attention going on. And in truth, a lot of the MFFs, they involve me going at it and you're sitting there sexting. That happens. That did happen, but it was still really hot for me. He was the first one that made me realize I could find guys on field. And then I put myself in fantasy mode. And when you put yourself in fantasy on field, you're not limited to your own local area. You are worldwide. That's where I started finding, I have like four amazing guys that I would fly to go see. The first one was, I started realizing that a lot of these are transient. They just come and go. And so I'm not going to have some great emotional connection because they're not meant to last. So I don't have to give them the full- You don't have to put your proctology exam. I don't have to give them the rubber glove treatment. They could give me the rubber glove treatment though. Oh okay You think so All right Let me see the picture Show me the picture I realized that they do come and go It doesn necessarily last And in most cases they don Texting and sexting it hard especially from a male perspective I don know how most guys are but I know for me it sometimes feels like a burden I sometimes feel like it quicksand I put my foot in it I started You put just the tip in I should never have started something that I wasn't going to finish. Sometimes I'll be like, oh my God, we have been talking on and off. You know, I'm doing other things for like two hours. And if it's not in the middle of play, you're like, damn, that is a lot of time. So it takes a certain kind of guy to be wired that way, to be kind of wordy and a wordsmith. I'm not that way. I am much more about the in-person meet and I'm going to try to make your eyes roll back up in your head, but it's going to be in person. And really it hit kind of full intensity mode over the holidays because we were not playing at all. And I was in Fantasyland on field and I found a lot of really viable partners that some of them I'm still in touch with today that I really want to meet. We'll call it Catlandia. Catlandia. It's Catland. It's my, it's orgasmable. Yeah. And then I started realizing, why can't I meet these people? One of them is going to be celebrating a big birthday in Vegas in September. I'm like, why can't I be there in September? Well, here's the other thing that happened. When you started to spread your net far and wide, where these people aren't geographically located nearby us. They are nowhere near where I am or going to be. It follows the same advice that we give newbies. To travel. To travel. I'm telling you, you're going to run out of runway. I was just going to say, you're going to reach the end of the road on Field, on Cassidy, on SLS. You're going to reach the end of the road. And then the lifestyle gets pretty boring. You start to say, is this it? Is this it? No, it's not it. Because if you'll get on $100 Allegiant, $100 Southwest, $100 Frontier. Or take a three to five hour road trip for a weekend. It opens up all the doors to new opportunities. See how many metropolitan locations are near you. And it just absolutely opens the doors. And every time that we've done that, we've opened a new chapter to our lifestyle journey. That's what happened with Denver. We didn't know anything about Denver. Once we went there, we put our foot in the door. We're like, oh my God, there's so many opportunities. We did it in Florida. We've done it in Las Vegas. We've done it in SoCal. It's the cheat code. We've done it in Europe because we've said it before that if we went to Europe, I think it would explode the possibilities because Europeans are incredibly sexy. And so you've evolved it now. Yes, you started casting your net much wider. And in doing so, I think you're finding better choices. And now it's incumbent on us to try to bring those into real life. Right, which is really crazy that there's going to be such sexual tension that's absolutely palpable because we've built up so much. and then to meet them in person. It's going to be combustible. Like a powder keg. Oh my God. Yeah, I don't even know, but I'm excited for it and I think I can handle it. You know, it goes back to what we said earlier, which is the one thing that I am pretty good at is bringing something that seems ephemeral into reality. But it has to be you on board. And this is such an evolution from raton to where I had to disconnect and I pout it. Oh, I still don't like that guy. We had to veto it to where we are today. Like I have like three in my phone, pretty strong right now. He's still in the trunk of the car. But one of them, he's been in my phone we talk about him he's my dutch boy who's got a little dutch girl friends with benefits i highly recommend that by the way you start off sexing with the guy and then he brings in a girl it's beautiful and then he sends bespoke porn where they say your name and then she's saying my name he's saying your name it's a win-win and then cat and leo who are so private we're sending bespoke porn back to them we're sending sex videos to them which we don't ever do so we spend a lot of that eight hours everybody's gonna be like okay one hour how do we get into their phone. I'm going to pretend like I'm a sexist. I'm going to get some of those videos. They are. Bring a twofer to the party. We own some stuff, man. Because we spent a lot of that eight hours with the one hour of sleep. I was having a virtual MFM. Yes. And I was basically framing it. OK, here we go. And at the end of the day, it's, you know, video that we're going to love looking at down the road because it's we don't necessarily take video when it's the two of us f***ing around. But damn, it was really hot. Yeah, it was actually pretty hot. And, you know, at the bottom line is I do all the sexting alone. He's aware of it. He doesn't really read it, but he's welcome to. I do read some of it. Oh, he just said this, but some of it would probably make me blush if he saw it. It's pretty out there. Well, we had a pretty candid conversation the other day and I told you that heretofore, I think you felt like you had to walk on eggshells a bit. You didn't like it, but if I'm in the bathtub, I like to be on my iPad in the bathtub. I'm going to come in there one time and you're going to be electrocuted like a Thanksgiving But you know what I never do? While I may be helping them get off and you're like, I'll tell you, I just made another guy go. Like I do that all the time. I probably roll my eyes inside. But I don't ever touch myself while I'm doing this with them. I feel like that's too unilateral and it's too far afield. So I wait until we have a threesome. That's funny because people on the other end of this are going to listen and think, is Leo behind that where you can't touch yourself? No. I've never said that for the record. No, I just feel like today, Dutch boy, he was asking me different things and I just felt like that's too far afield. Because I know we've met a couple of the gals in our lives that have said that their previous husbands didn't want them to have a vibrator. One wouldn't allow her to do 69 with him. Really? Yeah. I don't remember that. But I hear those things and I've always been the kind of guy where. Really? I could touch myself while I'm talking to them? Leo? No. I draw the line there. How about if you're with me? How about if you're with me and we're together and I'm like, okay, I'm texting him right now. I don't know. We'll talk about it after the pod. I'm not sure we're ready for that. I'm not sure yet. It's a little unilateral. We try to keep it together, guys. Ever since I have been sexually active. anytime. I know his hot pass. I am shaking my head. He is that bad boy. Oftentimes I've gotten into the bedroom and when we start going out a little bit, maybe I'll be going down on her. I'll ask her, do you have a vibrator? And she looks at me. I think you asked me that our first night together. And I'm like, yeah, I got a vibrator. That's my big move. That's like the movie with Ryan Gosling. His big move was dirty dancing. He does the thing where she runs up onto him, the dirty dancing move. That's a hell of a scene, by the way. What movie was that? It's so absurd. What was that called? Go look it up. ChatGPT it. I'll pick it up from here. That was such a great scene. It's so funny. It's so dumb. It's Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling. But then when he does the big move and she comes sliding back down into his arms. You're like, damn, I'd be taking all my clothes off right now. You were like, he's getting laid. Okay, that would actually work. And he was so sheepish in the movie to say, that's my big move. And you're like, it also helps if you're hot like Ryan Gosling. I like Ryan Gosling a lot. I would pick my head up from between their lovely thighs and I would say... Crazy, stupid love. Yeah. That is such a good movie. That's such a great movie. It's really old. I think, what, 2011. It's on Netflix, I think. It is such a good movie. 100%. You gotta see it. Ryan Gosling is so hot in that movie. That was kind of like peak Ryan Gosling. I know some will debate the merits of that saying The Notebook. But that, Ryan Gosling, he was in much better shape. Who doesn't love that scene where they are soaking wet and they come together? I watched that, like, vibrating over and over and over. I would have hung out with Ryan Gosling. We would have gone out and we would have, I guess I would have been his wingman. I probably would have been his water boy. But I'll look up and I'll ask him, do you have a vibrator anywhere? And they'll look at me almost like with apprehension, suspicion. Are you serious? Are you not serious? Vibrators are in the bedside table drawer of a girl and you're not really supposed to break it out except when you're alone. They feel self-conscious. Yeah. And I enthusiastically aim on and they go and get it. And it was like chocolate and peanut butter, which I know you don't like. I like peanut butter. No, I like chocolate. You just like chocolate and chocolate. So we'll say it's like chocolate and chocolate. And when they have that, and I've got my mouth on them, and they're using their vibrator that they're intimately acquainted with. That they know. They know how to give themselves an orgasm. They know where all the spots. Why are we talking about this again? It's my big mood. And it just is like sparks. It's like banging two rocks together. It's a thing of beauty. I bring vibrators every time we play, personally. Which goes all the way back to you saying that you don't touch yourself while you're sexting. I don't. Yeah, I don't. I've thought about it. I tell them how wet I am. Sometimes they say, can you show me? Oh, okay. Yeah. We're not there yet. chocolate and chocolate yet. I did reach down one time and I touched myself and I came out and my hand was really, really moist and I did take a picture of it, but I didn't send it. Okay, we're going to stop the pod. Put that vibrator back in your sock drawer. But I've never touched myself. It's just not like that. It's flirty. It's sexy. It's hot. I want you kind of stuff on and off through the day, but it doesn't really explode until there's an MFF. I would say if you described my feeling today, it would be still a little bit conflicted, but I'm getting there. I'm trying, I'm getting there. I am trying to become more enlightened. It is true that a lot of it's born out of guilt because of the imbalance in real life between the MFMs and the MFS. I think the hard part is that your stuff comes along on the weekend, once a weekend, and mine just kind of pops in any time in the daytime. That's true. Yours is like a stream of consciousness that never ends. And you know, some of them I don't hear from for two weeks, you know, then they pop in again, which is fine. It's just the ones that lean in, I really like those. It would be easy for me to sit here and say that mine are more compartmentalized and they're contained to just the event. The event itself. The date. But yours is you're actually getting your wick wet. I'm having an MFM where there's no penetrative sex. I'm having one penis policy MFM. I would definitely be a bastard if I were to sit here and try to use that. A handsome bastard. In my favor. According to Hustler Todd. We love you, Hustler Todd. I'm a delectable bonbon. He was afraid that he had gone too far. Hustler Todd is actually my mom. Or maybe he's my dad. Maybe he's my real dad. Hustler Todd is my real dad. That he's who you should have been. I think the resemblance is uncanny. Yeah. Yeah, he was trying to create some kind of separation between church and state. There was. He works for Hustler. Come on. It's a sex magazine. We're in the sex business. You can send me a dick pic. I probably wouldn't be offended. I like dick pics now, actually. I get a lot of them. I get dick pics. RIP to your DMs. Are you serious? You just said that on air? Of cute guys. I'm going to edit that out. It has to be my cute guys who I'm sexting. Going to be throwing hot dogs in the hallway. Don't you love the ones that are a little more like they're timid, they go slow. You know, the last guy, he's recently in my... Like a polite dick pic is what you're saying. He actually said, I really want to show you my cock. Do you mind? And I'm like, I'd love to see it. You know, on OF, the girls will do what's called a dick rating. I don't even quite understand what the theory is behind that. You guys are so into their dicks. I didn't know that. But if they send it to them, they're like, I want you to tell me what you think of it. You just learned that today. Is that what you're saying? You know, I've got one guy that tells me I adore you. And he then said, I want you to adore my cock too. Oh, OK. So then I've got to give his cock some praise. We've said it before that every guy's got one. It's sort of like bragging. I've got a steering wheel in my car. I don't know. we don't go around as girls and show up close vajayjay pictures. So I don't really get it. I mean, you could. I think they're really hot. I like vajayjay pictures. You hear that? I love vajayjay pictures. And if you've got a little hair on it, if you want to get a Leo lion emoji, go ahead and send a vajayjay picture with a five o'clock shadow. But it's going to come through me and I might be a little jealous. I'll let you text them back. I will go ahead and I will dictate it, so to speak. You dictate it. I do show you the dick pics, though. I get dick. You actually shooed me away last night. I know. And we had a problem. We had a little bit of an issue. Yeah. I know. It was not a good thing. But because we communicate 110%. And then we had sex afterwards, twice, really intense. And it worked out fine in the end. But yeah. We had a little ugly cry face. But listen, you called me over and you said, oh, you sent me a time photo. I assumed it was a video. And I assumed it was him and his girl again. And then. It was just him. And he was going to drop trowel for me. And you saw that he had his boxers on. And it was a video and he was going to drop trial. I knew he was. And then you said, okay, you don't need to see this. And then I left and I felt like it was a little bit rejecty because you had invited me. Like I was in favor of him. And you were also, it felt a little like you were being secretive. And so that's really, that's also why I don't. So we should probably talk about that. That's also why I don't do that where I touch myself while I'm talking to them. I can kind of stoke them up by getting them to stroke themselves. You're saying you're like one of those 1-900 number gals who has curlers in her hair and she's wearing a robe. I can't tell you how many guys I've made cum. Eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's. I love it. Oh, baby. And it makes me hot, but I'm not sitting there touching myself because I feel that comes between us. Like today he was asking for, he was really excitable and he was like, oh, can you just take a photo of yourself? Cookies and cream. And I'm not going to do that in the moment because that feels too unilateral. Like if I'm going to send a photo, you need to know what it is and be aware of it and not something he's asked for. I think you have to have full transparency when it comes to the texting sex. I don't think if at any time I feel like you're trying to hide something. It's sneaky. I'd be ready to burn it down. And the thing about it is, is that I don't really have any oversight because I trust you implicitly. He doesn't read my stuff at all. He could. You're completely loyal in that regard. You do things that are even not necessary where you overdo. Oh, and then he's also really feels very positive that when I feel someone is a little, I don't know, like you said, like the rough kind of guy or someone who's a little overbearing, I will disconnect from him really quickly on like field. And it gives me a little zing. Yeah, to know you've got your voice and you're not going to take that. Yeah, I like it when you're a boss bitch. I'd like you to exercise that muscle. You know, my favorite thing to do is when I feel like they're a little too good to be true. Like, damn, you're so good looking and you're so hot. And I just don't believe you're real. So I asked them for a video. That was Gabriel Fuckboy. That was one of our sexers. That one was hot. And we asked him for a video holding up four fingers. And we've had various people do it. And every time they do it, we're just like, we get a wry grin. Like, oh my God. He's from Bogota. And he was a fuck stallion because he showed us. Video. Yeah. And we, at the time, he said he was going to be in Vegas. and he never did actually end up in Vegas. He was kind of in fantasy land. He was tossing this girl around. And he smiled the whole time. He was like chewing gum. And you were ready to bring him into the bedroom. He had a smirk and he had such swagger. We considered, can we get to Bogota? We'd like to go to Columbia. It was just, it was. And you were ready to just, we'll do everything together. Well, you know, one of those things where, especially when you're a newbie in your journey, sometimes you come across something that is too good to be true. And it ignites this NRE, not even having to physically be there with the person. And you're fucking like rabbits over here, just with the anticipation of what could be. Of what could be. And then it doesn't happen. But you still have the memories of how hot it was. Yeah. Because we had that early on in our journey when we had somebody who I think was from Cassidy. It started on. It was a texty-sexy thing back and forth. That was when it was just you and him. We drove all the way up there in a driving rain. Oh, my God. The two of us. We were going at it for like a week or two. Unbelievable. And sometimes that's some of the hottest stuff. It's called preclamation sex. And it rocked our world when it turned out that he wasn't probably real. He certainly wasn't in real life. He was never going to come out. Yeah, he was kind of scared. We did. We since saw him on field. We've seen him. He would not make the cut today. No, he was not in our... I do laugh that he caused us to be in such a state of angst. He did. But it was because the buildup was off the charts. Because when you knew, all the buildup is always off the charts. Yeah, and our expectations are pretty low now. Yeah, we're at a stage in our lifestyle journey where if something comes up, we give it our full attention, we'll try to make it happen. But if it falls through at the end of the day, I think we always have a feeling of... We're quick to keep on moving down the road. No expectations. This train just kind of keeps on moving. if the person is real, they want to make it happen, and they just say yes, that's the fastest way into our bedroom. But our capacity to compartmentalize that these days is an experienced couple. Because when someone just falls through, you remember when we did episode 59, we got ghosted. You got ghosted. I got ghosted. It is true. Leo got ghosted. If you want to hear me trying to peel myself up like I just got in steamroll. And it was a day literally after I was in NRE of all NRE from Surfer Boy, where I even said he's better than Edward. He kind of had a mini sleepover. I mean, he stayed for a couple hours snoozing on his back. Oh, my God. I just was in seventh heaven. And you turned your head back to me and you said, I am NREing so hard right now. And then the very next day you got ghosted and you had to keep it together so you wouldn't ruin my NRE. And you did. You did a great job. And I look back on that today and that's not us today. If that happened today, I would just brush that off and I would move on. We're also pretty good about not getting hotel rooms unless it's a sure thing or we just do a meet and greet and don't even get a hotel room. if it like a I don know you know that kind of how we roll now If you want to get some tips on how to make sure you don get a rug pull on you check out episode 59 because in there we talk about the importance of walking yourself back off the ledge As soon as you hear there's a hitch in the interaction with whomever this is, you can sense it. This is not going to happen. Chances are it's not going to happen. Start walking yourself back so you temper your expectations, so you don't have your hopes dashed. Today, we just don't really have that. No, because we also know that we're on a roller coaster and what goes up must come down, and we have as many lows. It just is the way it is. I think it's also a function of having a lot of play opportunities. I think we always just feel like there's another one along any minute. And now I've got virtual MFMs and I'm really happy. I'm so sated because it's harder to find what I'm looking for. Oh, I know so-and-so is going to text me. And that just, it's such salve for my soul. It's also about being out of our swinger moon. And being in your swinger moon, you're like a crackhead running wild. Because we're a little more grown up now. We ain't grown up. What are you talking about? You just made that up. We stayed up until 9 a.m., got one hour of sleep, got on a plane. We texted. How's that grown up? I know. It was so hot. We must have taken like 20 videos, guys. We're grounded. Right now we're grounded. We're so bad. Although we're going out this Friday. And then what after that? Oh, we're going to Vegas. So, yeah. And then I got another guy that just slid into my DMs that almost seems too good to be true. I'm waiting for that four-fingered video to come along. The four-finger discount? God, he's absolutely, he wants to be. The four-finger discount is actually really funny because the first time you said it, you don't know if somebody's going to want to video themselves holding up four fingers. The first guy who did it, was it Bogutaboy? Yes, it was Bogutaboy. He had such fucking big balls that he just stares at the camera with this shitting grin. And then he puts up his fingers. And he goes, one, two, three, four. I don't know if it's like a South American thing. He has some bravado. But he has some swagger. And we would like to see some of that swagger in person. Absolutely. Yeah. If you're a single guy with some swagger, hit us up. So we can give us a little bit of advice on texting in the lifestyle, sexting. The main thing is you have to be really transparent with your partner because it is a bit of a slippery slope. I think that when we first started, the advice we gave to newbies. Don't do it. Just don't do it. And I actually still adhere to that. We weren't ready for it then. And so for half of this union, we don't do it. You're part of the union. I'm not really accessible to girls by touch. And it works because it also has kept me on a leash to where I knew for the longest time, he didn't know he really doesn't like this. And so I kept it at bay. I definitely was not fangirling over people because I was like, okay, he doesn't even really like this. I got to keep it kind of at arm's length. So that's how you have to start. But sometimes I will joke to you. the phrase I like to use is, why don't you flip it upside down and look at it from a completely different standpoint? If I was doing what you're doing right now, there are a handful of the girls that would lean in very hard. And I don't think you probably would love it as much. And I much rather, you're so wonderful with the real life meetups and the situationships. I would never want to do anything. But I do feel bad when you say that you're like, let's flip the script. And I'm like, ah, damn, I would so not be okay if you sat in the bath and you were texting someone in the bath. So I don't know how you handle it. Well, it's probably because of guilt. It's probably because of the imbalance. Like you said earlier, it's been a slow, slow evolution. And you're starting to like the guys who I'm writing. If we had more MFMs, there would be less sexing. There's no question. Okay. But you're right. I do have to like the guy at the end of the day. It has to be a guy that I can see myself getting a beer with. Right. And it's not that he doesn't know who I'm talking to. He knows exactly who I'm talking to. I've showed him photos. I show him snippets of text. I might read this or that. He knows who I'm talking to. I'd like them to be a pretty handsome guy and I want them to treat you well. And when I see those two combinations and it's making you happy, that's usually the Colonel's secret recipe. There's one super, super, super hot guy. And he, I don't know, he's been going through stuff, but he's been celibate for a while. And I want to break his celibacy so bad. You want to pop his cherry. I'm so, so bad. He came online on New Year's Eve as well. He was there with us. Oh my God. It was so hot. I like him a lot. Okay. We'll see what happens. You know, he's, we call him Florida boy. In the And I think you need to get me on board to, I don't know what you call it. Sometimes I might just call it having some decent luck. I feel like I'm a pretty lucky rabbit's foot. Lucky Leo. Lucky Leo. I like that. Ooh, lucky Leo. But it's got a double entendre. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. You remember that, huh? Leo getting lucky. I like it. So it starts with the imbalance where I feel like if I'm going to do what I do and feel as gracious and appreciative of what you're facilitating, then I have to give something. This can't go on. with an imbalance like this without some kind of give. But I understand that while you're giving, you're not giving it all up. And so I know that I have to keep some, okay, I got to keep this at arm's length. It keeps me on a leash, so to speak, to where I don't, I'm not running off with my id. And it's a really healthy thing. Well, we're navigating with some boundaries. I'm just not sure if we've verbalized what those boundaries are exactly. You just sort of inherently- I know what I should and shouldn't do. You've never told me not to do anything, but I know, oh, he wouldn't like that. You're not a sneaky link. you don't let your id just go off the leash and run wild. No. Except maybe in limited circumstances, but usually I'm very well aware of it. And the things you say and do when you come back to me and you'll say that he said this, so I said this and I said, yeah, you can't do that. Really, it's things oftentimes where you really didn't even need to tell me, but you did anyway. And that always speaks highly of your loyalty, really. And really, that's what we're saying as a newbie couple. First of all, start out with no sexting. You need to evolve and you need to go slow because it is a real slippery slope because- Yeah, that's a good point because don't do sexting early on. No. Because that's when it burns so bright, like a wildfire out of control. I couldn't handle that. Oh my God. And it's burned brightly, but then as time goes on, you realize that it's just going to burn out. And so you don't really invest as much into it. Like it's so hot. It's so hot. But I'm like, okay, when it burns up, it burns up. Well, we used to talk about Italian Edward, a real life Robert Pattinson. That's so hot. And I used to joke He's still number one on my Robert Pattinson. That I'm going to have to wear one of the celebrity cutout masks in the bedroom while I'm going down on you. When he was so good looking, when we first saw him, Leo looked at me and he said, don't even think about it. And he was issuing his veto power and I was totally okay with it. I was a little pouty, but I got it. But I do pivot quickly. And then, you know, when we then brought him into the bedroom, I remember thinking, am I going to be thinking about him forever? It passes so quickly. I can barely remember what he looks like. I just know he was super, super hot. But it is true that words can set off an emotional affair, so to speak. I mean, maybe it doesn't culminate in something that happens in real life, but it is so new that I'm not sure you can handle that in the earliest moments. It has taken me all these different, going from Raton, going to the Reddit guy who then disconnected, and going to Bogota Fuckboy, going to some of these other ones that today... You're talking about broccoli hair, TikTok Fuckboy. Yeah, today where I'm at with my Dutch boy who writes me almost every day. Well, you know, we were on a bliss cruise with... Do we have a nickname for them? Houston, we have a problem? Couple? No, we don't. We'll just leave them as Houston, we have a problem couple. And I remember they were with Mormon couple? Mormons. Mormons. And I just remember the interplay was, Houston, we've got a problem. He was sitting there after he was sort of post-coital. He was just letting his wife do whatever she wanted to do. And then she came over to us, and there was sort of a three, four thing going on, and he was the chillest motherfucker. I could not believe. How is this husband just sitting back as if, yeah, you know, my wife, she's just going to go have a little extra fun after I'm just relaxing over here. Because you would have been, I'm going to take my ball and I'm going home. Or my ball would have been coming on the court. Your balls. Absolutely. Two of them, they're coming. I just never could understand, but I can understand it now. Because they had been in the lifestyle longer than us. The further you go, at some point. You develop a comfort level. You feel like you can stand down. You know that your relationship is safe. And you know that you want to make your partner happy. You're not going to run off with Italian Edward, although you might run off with Italian Edward. I wouldn't. I haven't found a single person I wanted to run off with. Bella. Is that what her name was? Bella? Yeah. Bella. Bella from the Twilight series. And then I'll be the werewolf. I don't want to be the werewolf though. I want to be the vampire. I never liked the werewolf. I didn't like the werewolf. Although that's a whole thing. I know. It's Team Edward, Team Jacob. I'm Team Edward all the way. I'm Team Edward all the way too. Because I like Twilight. I saw an airplane for the first time, like years after it came out. I always think vampires are more sexy than werewolves. Werewolves tear things apart. They're animals. Vampires, f***. Vampires are so sexy. Like bite my neck. I mean they're coughing or something. And they're a little pale and I'm okay with that. Yeah. So that's the first advice is don't sext early on. And then beyond that, most of you newbies are going to be playing with couples. You are going to be in group chats. We do a three-way group chat. I personally hate group chats. One phone. I hate them. I don't know why, but I feel like we're in like a job interview. I know. You feel like you do like a little circle jerk with your friends from home, like during football season. They're in a circle jerk. It feels a little like that. Whenever you're talking to us, you're talking with Cam. Leo can't get to the phone right now. Please leave a message and he'll never call you back. I promise you. He's fine tuning the Sibian right now for this Friday. But you have to be careful in group text. You've got to feel the room. And don't ever, if you're in a group chat as the husband, go unilaterally write the wife of the other couple you played with. We've heard people do a misstep. You cannot do that. I asked the wife, does she play alone? And now they've gone radio silent. And we're never going to play again. You really need, as couples, you need to respect the coupledom. And sometimes I've seen people with group chats with a single male coming in and the husband will allow the single male to do some flirting with the wife. You can kind of set those boundaries. I like how we do it. It's just me and I'm completely solo. Yeah. I don't know. I like it too. It just works. I don't I don't want to change the dynamic at all. I like face-to-face. I will whisper sweet nothings face-to-face. And I'm going to whisper them through the phone. That's it. That's the dynamic that works best for us. But it's taken a while for us to get there. And you know, as far as texting after the fact, some people, couples only want to text when they're like, okay, when do you want to get together again? Some people want to be chatty and friendly. I think that's the most common, is you don't really do a whole lot of communicating in between the situationship experiences. Now, if you're playing with a unicorn, you need to be friends with them. It needs to be girl-girl-led. 100%. And you need to be bestie energy because it's fun. I mean, it's a wonderful dynamic. And did I already say that out loud? That to me, from a male standpoint, every red-blooded male can agree with me, I think, that the fantasy is my wife is besties with another girl that I'm in a situation ship with. That's the dream right there. Like you girls going off and doing girl stuff. That's when Houston, we have a problem, wanted. They told us because we had Lana on the Bliss with us. And they told us that is so what we want, where our unicorn's going to go off with my wife. They're going to be best friends. are going to come back and we're all going to get together. That's every guy's fantasy, I think. Well, I always bring that up. And I do with my talking to the single guys, they know I'm not solo at all. They know we do threesomes and I don't play solo and that's our dynamic. And so I also talk about the MFFs we have because I know that builds him up that he's like, I'm not just like a hot wife, wife, hot wife, husband, where I'm going to be watching her. I don't watch, I participate. And so this last guy, I actually sent him the photo. I do everything disappearing. Of the MFFs? Yeah. And I said, I'm the one on the left and it has Leo in the bed with four girls, all naked, all wrapped around him. And he said, damn, he looks like the king. Oh, that was an amazing photograph. And it was because we were at a hotel takeover. Pinch me. And so I pulled someone out of the hallway. Would you come take a photo of us? And it is just the hottest thing ever. Yeah, I bet half of us don't even remember it taking place. It was all very hazy. And so that helps with the single guys. I set it in motion so they know what kind of guy Leo is that I'm going to bring in the bedroom. The other reason I tell you that when you talk about that that's one of our main dynamics to single guys, that hope springs eternal. Oh, that will bring, oh, they all say, I would love to go down on you together with another girl. We turn a three into a four. And we would like to. We did talk about that with Pushe. And Shy Guy. And Shy Guy. But I don't think I'm there right now. I don't really think I want to share. I don't want to share. At the end of the day, I don't want to share my MFM and you don't really want to share your MFF. The only one would be this Dutch couple. I would love him alone, but I take them both because she is so sexy. Yeah. So, I mean, we have so many sex videos of them. It is so high. I think our entanglement with whomever that third to make it a fourth. Yeah, it just has to be casual. And I do know at the end of the day, this Dutch couple, I would take him as an MFM manicorn, just like you would, because you like him a lot. I do. But if we brought her in as well, she loves girls, and she's going to keep you busy, so then I can get busier with them. So it's a win-win for me. That's Kat's id. She says, if you get distracted. It is off to the races for me. Then I can go ahead and I can just bear down. Yeah, I would like to bear down. We're going to make that happen. So I really think we're going to just stick myself in fantasy land, Katlandia, And I'm just going to see if I can find them. And where can we meet? Can we meet you in Vegas? Can we take a trip somewhere? Where can we meet you? Well, we're impulsive. There's no question about it. We're spontaneous people. So if you hear we're in Amsterdam, you'll know what it is we're doing. But we're also really good at assessing when something is a good fit. Right. We would never show up in a location that we didn't think it was 100% going to happen. We're good at assessing who we're talking with. We know very much what we like. If it's in front of us, we will know what to do with it. If we go from zero to 100 with you, it's because it's a match all the way. And so, yes, the chances of us turning one of these sexters and bringing it into real life is probably sky high. I would say it's probably 100% because there's enough of them at this point that it seems very likely. And, of course, now, as I sit here today saying that I'm conflicted, but I'm actually trying to get there, it's probably because as of today, from the last time we talked about it on the last pod, you now have two guys in there texting you hot and heavy. So I'm dealing with that. Well, you have to go hot and heavy at the beginning because that's when their buying temperature is up. Usually within like two weeks, it's over or it's just it's petered out. I'm like, oh, is that another dick pic? No, no, no. That's a new guy. Oh, so we got two dick pics. No, this is a third guy. They have good dicks, though. So there is that. All right. That's great. I like them. All right. But anyway, I cannot believe we are where we are when I look back to Raton and him completely telling me I veto this guy. And I was so pouty. I cannot believe we are to where we are on this past weekend in Vegas having a virtual MFM sending videos. Every bit and bobble of our bodies was being sent to him. And I can't even believe that we did that. It was pretty damn. Oh, you're talking about Dutch couple. So I can't believe how far we've come. So that's what we're talking about. The whole lifestyle is about evolving. Honestly, I think we're just still trying to figure it out. And so far it feels okay. But I know that I said earlier that one of the most important ingredients, the last piece of the puzzle, is that I do have to like them. and I'm always measuring the drapes for this person to meet them in real life. And I always feel like there are absolute boundaries. Like we haven't discussed them, but I kind of reach around with my hands. I'm like, oh, I hit a wall. Okay, oh, I hit that. I know instinctively. Yes, I just know instinctively I shouldn't do that. Even though I've said that they tend to be transient, I really don't have much to worry about. I should just lay back, let you have this. And then when it dies out- Then I'll get a new one. Then you get a new one. It's my new boy toy. But to be honest, I still do size them up as if we're going to meet them in real life. And so that is the last piece of puzzle. I still feel like I want them to be a good choice in real life for you to be, you know, you're sending pictures and things like that. I like it to be worthy. And I started out by sending so few photos. I mean, that has grown as well, but I don't send them right away. I really try to develop a relationship to where a lot more fast and loose with video. It's all disappearing, but still, you know, it's still out there. We used to never send anything, but I do feel they're like, here's a dick pic. I'm like, well, that's lovely, but I'm not going to reciprocate till I get to know you a little better. All right, Kat, I guess you can go ahead and sext your boy toys. okay thank you Leo I appreciate it no you know what I changed my mind I don't want to do the sex thing anymore I'm out that's it I'll take a bow bow I'll get over it so if you liked what you heard go ahead and either subscribe or I didn't know how that works just come and listen we might post once a week we might post a couple times a month I don't know we might get bored and stop doing it so you better come and listen while it's still going otherwise we'll lose interest tell us how much you like it yeah leave a comment that'd be cool we love it where can they leave a comment I don't know Maybe we'll have some comments. We don't even have a website yet. Okay.