This is Ria. Welcome to Little Stories for Tiny People. I have a guest today. It's really nice to have a guest because I love to get to show some of the more interesting aspects of my little studio. So here for a studio tour and to listen to our story is an iguana named... Oh, sorry, what is your name? Oh, okay. My guest is an iguana named Q. Hold on. Mmm, that's strange because the main character of my story today is also named Q. This could get confusing. I can't have this. This will not work. Let me just... I have to change the character's name. Okay. Mmm, this is going to take forever. Q, while I'm doing this, why don't you take a seat? Yeah, anywhere is fine except... Right there. Q just sat on the collection of origami swans that were arranged on the floor of my studio. Here now... Crushed. Now it's okay. It's okay, Q. I will just remake them. It'll just take me about five weeks. Alright, you know what? Let me just fix the character's name a few more times. There we go. I think I got them all. Now it won't be confusing. Q, are you ready for the story? Yay! It's called... The Drive Through Elf. Remember, there are no pictures. You'll have to imagine the pictures in your mind. You can imagine them however you want. Okay, here we go. Not every elf works in a toy shop. Some elves make shoes. Some are opera singers. Some put out shingles and work as freelancers. And some elves... You are not going to believe this, but some elves live and work inside drive-thrues. You've heard their voices. Welcome to Coffee Land, may I take your order? You just didn't know it was an elf with whom you were conversing. Yes, I. I'll have a triple behemoth, Mocha match above a tea coffee, thanks. That'll be 1342. Please proceed to the next window. What did you think? A normal-sized person was taking your order? It is a person in there, but it's a smaller person than you likely believed it to be. So small, in fact, that their real voices sound like this. Welcome to spaghetti to go. If they spoke in their real voices, you'd know right away they were elves. So they train. And with practice, they learn to speak in a lower register. So that they sound like this. Welcome to Fast and Taste, you're looking to get you this beautiful morning. I believe I mentioned that the drive-thru elves live inside the drive-thru? You know that first stop you make? It's like a menu panel. That's where you place your order with the elf. The elf lives inside that menu panel. Come on, who else could fit in there? It's obvious once you think it through. There is a tiny little house inside of that menu panel, and it's quite cozy. If you could fit in there, you'd like it. Although they don't have many windows, so not a lot of natural light. Anyway, now that we've established that elves are the ones taking your orders at the drive-thru, let me repeat that back to you. Once spaghetti popsicle, two corn dog milkshakes and a side of eyeballs. Excuse me. I mean a side of pizza. Is that right? What? I ordered that last week. It's not weird. So we've established that elves take your order, and they also live inside those big menu panels. Now we can focus on one of those drive-thru elves. Her name is Quintella Winchester Stevenson. But that's a mouthful. So instead of calling her Quintella Winchester Stevenson, we'll call her G. There we go. G lived and worked inside the drive-thru menu of a donut shop. They sold hundreds of donuts a day, plus coffee, tea, and orange juice. G had a tiny little house inside the drive-thru. Every day was pretty much the same. Welcome to Donuts' galore. What can I get you today? I'd like 367 donuts, please. There's not a lot of complexity here. She took orders for donuts. That's, I mean, that's basically it. It was fine. It's a job. And when she needed a break, G called in one of the floaters. The floaters are elves who travel to different drive-thrues and allow the full-time elves to take their lunch breaks. This makes total sense, obviously. But of course, on occasion, the floater elves would forget where they were since they traveled so much. So during G's lunch break, sometimes a replacement would say something like, Welcome to Kebabs Plus. What can I get for you? I thought you sold donuts. Oh, that's right. We sell donuts. Can I get you some donuts? Yes, I'll have 153 donuts, thanks. But the system worked pretty well. One day, G was at work, as usual. Welcome to Donuts' galore. Can I get you today? Yes, hello. I'd like to have 76 donuts. Wonderful. That'll be 4896. You can... When out of nowhere. G, heard another voice. Excellent. That'll be 4896. You may proceed to the next window. Thank you. Have a fantastic day. Huh? G was philomixed. Who was that? She was so shocked. She didn't realize another car had arrived in front of the enormous menu. And before she could collect herself, she heard, Hello. Welcome to Donuts' galore. May I take your order? Yeah, hi. How are you? I'd like to get... Uh, nothing much. Just 83 donuts. Would you like to add anything else? Eh, I guess I'll add 16 coffees. Let me repeat that back for you. 83 donuts. 16 coffees. Your total comes to 92.11. Please proceed to the next window. And have a fantastic day. Cool, thanks. G didn't move. She didn't blink. She couldn't speak. What was happening? She stood there inside her tiny little house next to her microphone and peered through the window she looked through to see the cars as they arrived. She listened to this strange new robotic sounding elf who had usurped her position. Let me repeat that back for you. 111 donuts, three orange juices, and a side of... She couldn't help herself. What she did next was risky. It was something she was never supposed to do ever for obvious reasons. But she was desperate. G slipped out the back door of her tiny house and crept along the little ledge that ran across the back of the menu panel. Breaking every rule in the book, she reached the edge of the panel and peaked around the other side. There was an enormous car parked directly in front of the menu. A person was rattling off an order. Yeah, hi, I'd like 22 donuts, 70 coffees, 32 of those should be half decap have regular, and 3 sesame bagels. I am sorry, we do not sell bagels. We sell donuts, coffee, tea, and... Okay, forget the sesame, 3 blueberry bagels. I am sorry, we do not sell bagels. We sell donuts, coffee. G listened to the voice emanating from the menu panel. Where was it coming from? Her spy session was yielding no information at all. And the longer she watched this bizarre scene unfold, the more at risk she was of being discovered. She reluctantly crept back along the little ledge and into her house. G got her answers soon enough. It's a robot. Said her boss who visited shortly thereafter. Wait, it is a robot? It's a robot. Yeah, her name is Mimi. Okay. And you're fired. Sorry. Wait, what? His boss, Harold, and Elf himself, stood across from G inside her little home within the drive-through. As they talked, they could hear the constant murmur of Mimi conversing with the customers. Welcome to Donuts' galore. How may I help you today? Harold sighed. Yeah, you're fired. Sorry about that, not my call. G just stared. Let me repeat that back to you. 922 Donuts. Also you can't live here anymore. This is my house. Actually, it's Donuts' galore's house. They're planning on moving a family of shrews in here. They run a tail sock business or something. Anyway, you're going to have to leave this afternoon. It was already noon. G felt like she might faint. Harold was still talking, but to G he sounded miles away. I swear I only learned of it this morning. Well, actually, yesterday, might have been the day before, but uh... Eventually, Harold left. G knew she had a very little time. She knew she should begin to pack up her life. But for a while, she just stood in the middle of her tiny home inside the drive-through, listening to the sound of her robotic replacement. Have a splendid day. G moved into her cousin's house. Her cousin, Cecilia, worked in a toy shop and lived in a small log cabin in the forest. Cecilia left home before Don and returned after sundown. G barely saw her. No matter. She wasn't up to talking to anyone anyway. Weeks passed. It turned out that a large percentage of the drive-through elves had lost their jobs. They began holding weekly meetings, but the meetings were mostly just strings of complaints. How could they fire us? It's so unfair. Now I have to live with my uncle, and he plays the trumpet. I liked taking tall people's orders. I was good at it. It was a downer. G stopped attending. She went for walks around the forest. Her routes as aimless as her life. Then, one day, years later, after G had gotten into a rhythm of doing odd jobs for the forest creatures, she received a letter in the mail. It was addressed to Quintella, Winchester, Stevensonson, log cabin number 568, the magical forest. G had never received a letter. It felt like a momentous occasion. The mailbox was located in an old oak tree in the forest, and G skipped home. Feeling anticipation filled her every limb. Back in the cabin, G settled into a big armchair with a mug of steaming hot lemon ginger tea. She carefully opened the letter and smoothed it out. She began to read. Dear Ms. Winchester Stevensonson, you have been identified as having particular talents in the realm of public speaking. Public speaking? G took a sip of her tea and kept reading. Your years of experience as a drive-through elf has not gone unnoticed. The high elf panel recently convened our first meeting in five years. There were a large number of scheduling conflicts and venue changes, one due to an infestation of crows. We are now thrilled to announce a brand new elf toll person industry partnership. We want you, Quintella Winchester Stevensonson. Quintella Winchester, join us to join our new team of... G nearly choked on her tea. Had she just read what she thought she'd read? She looked again. Yes. This was incredible. She quickly scanned the rest of the letter, her heart soaring. She leapt up from the armchair, gulped down the rest of her tea, gulp, packed up her things, and set off to begin her new life. She scribbled a note for her cousin. Thanks for everything. Gee, and then she was gone. Good afternoon and welcome to flight number 9-E-2. Please make sure your tray tables are in the up position for take-off. At this time, seat belts should be buckled. Please turn your attention to the safety demonstration that will take place in the aisle. Gee loved her new job. She got to use her voice, honed from years of training, and she got to say fun things like... At this time, all passengers should be in their seats with their seat belts fastened. We are heading into a patch of turbulence, which will last for approximately eight minutes and 42 seconds. There were times when Gee missed her old life as a drive-thru elf. But as an airplane elf, she had the opportunity to travel the world. If you flown on an airplane, you may have heard her voice, and this job could never be done by a robot. Right? Right? Okay, Q. What did you think of the story? Uh-huh. Okay. Really? Aww. Oh. Hmm. That's true. Well, apparently, I overlooked something in my haste to change our character's name. Q listened very closely, which is great, of course. But I can't believe I did this. Q noticed right away that I did manage to switch the character's name from Q to G. But I started out with her name as Quintella. That starts with a Q. Doesn't really make sense for her nickname to be Gee. But no one else noticed that, right? Right? Anyway, Gee. I mean, Q. Thank you for joining as my guest. Moving on. I'll let you in on the origin of this story. Years ago, when my son was three, I headed through a drive-through with him in the backseat. After I gave my order at the menu panel, I casually told him that an elf had just taken my order. I glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw him peering at me with suspicion. What are you talking about? He asked. There's an elf that lives inside the drive-through menu panel. He told him. Who else could fit inside there? Where else could that voice be coming from? He did not believe me. Shocking, I know. At the ripe age of three, he did not know how that voice got in that menu panel. But he was certain it was not an elf. I maintain we have no way of knowing for sure whether there is an elf in there or not. What do you think? Little Stories for Tiny People is written, performed, and produced by me, ReaPector. My in-house tech director, Peter K, runs my website and puts my stories in the Internet for all of you to enjoy. If you'd like to unlock the full Little Stories library and access Little Stories for Sleep, an exclusive bedtime podcast, visit LittleStoriesPremium.com. All right, well, I need to go make some origami swans. Thank you. As always, for listening in.
