Cam Newton On Marriage, Relationships, Fatherhood, Anger & Finding Peace | NXT Chapter With T.D. Jakes

Where does warriors go to wheat? Yeah. Where does lions go to lie? Okay. Where do eagles go to cry? Yeah. And really kind of check your scars like, hey bro, they got me, dog. Oh my god, they got me. See, I couldn't do that publicly. Yeah. And when you add odds with a person that's supposed to recharge you, mm-hmm. Now, everywhere is about a fear. Hello family, I want to welcome you to next chapter with TD Jakes. We've got a very, very special show for you today. I think you're going to really enjoy this episode being formed, being inspired, and be renewed. Today's guest is a true cultural icon. A Carolina Panthers, Auburn, and Atlanta legend who swagger, style, and spirit redefined a position. A co-host on BET, and 106 in sports, and analysts on ESPN first take, and a powerhouse content creator, and media entrepreneur behind, I guess I could say this, funky friday, and fourth and one, and NFL superstar turn media personality, and a devoted father, please welcome Cam Newton. Thank you. Great to have you on the show. Let me tell you, everybody been telling me, he's a PK, he's a PK, he's a PK. But they didn't tell me that you was from a hand clapping foot stomping. Oh, no, pin the costume. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Talking about old, old deep rooted self, but my father actually got his learning or studied the word upon to my mother's father. Okay. They met in Savannah, and at Savannah State University, and Bishop Townmitch was my grandfather's name, and he took my father in and gave him the word and taught a ministry, and he took it from there. So when I say church, church, yeah, I was like, oh, the heart would flow over, you can hear the jumping. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. So being in the position of a football where you play on Sunday, I didn't really watch NFL football grow, I didn't have the time. You know, you got to eight o'clock service then, the hosting family, their demands. Yes, and then you come back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and Savannah sweet potato pie, fried chicken, in the back of the church, I grew up the same way, the exact same way. What should be for? Yeah, yeah, so I can deeply relate. I can almost see the church, okay. So I can deeply relate to it. It's a little small church, not a big church, little tiny church, but we, everybody knew everybody. Everybody knew everybody else's business. And we had church, we had church old school, so I'm very, very excited to talk to you today and watch your journey. Your journey is like six flags. I mean, you had so many different experiences, so many different things that I want to get into as many of them as I can today and share them with you. I really got some things that I think are important. Chapter number one, Penta Costo upbringing. How do you think your church background informed or detracted from your sports career? Ah, man, I think the religion of being a Christian gave me my foundation of life. Okay. And that's the great. And if I'm keeping it funky, there are some things I wish I could unlearn about that transition too. I heard once that said, my religion taught me how to live, but my religion also taught me how to judge. And I think when you're talking about what would Jesus do? And all those type of principles that, you know, you hear those mothers of the church say, ah, that end of God. Right, right, right, right. Certain things. The curious, you know, child or the curiosity in me was like, but why though? And it was never answered to some degree. So as I grew, you know, having that foundation of knowing right from wrong, but still being curious to a degree. And that's pretty much where, you know, and who I am. It's like, I don't judge. I try to find the merit, the logic behind everybody. I think one of the most interesting classes that I've ever took while studying sociology was a religion class. Because I was the first time I got to look at other religions not to join, but just to see perspective as a person of Islam, as, you know, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Catholic and certain things. And it gave me so much perspective. Absolutely. And I needed that. And so do other people need that. Because I think that there's a great divide in religion, spirituality. So I'm the curious cat, sort of, speak that always asks the question of why and it has benefited me more times than not with the spirit to understand not to judge. Was it hard growing up a preacher's skin? Uh, no, it wasn't. I think a lot of, you know, that's the cultural kind of, oh, he a preacher's skin, he the worst one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a lot of personal, I did not lack that. Yeah. And it was hard for me to get embarrassed. But I think I come up in the church that you had to memorize your Easter speech. And get up and speak. You know, you can have the luxuries. No, you can read it. Roses are red. Violent something. No, you had to memorize it. Yeah. You know, the youth teacher gave you your speech on the Sunday leading up to Easter Sunday. And you had to memorize it. Yeah, you had to sit in the kitchen and practice and put your mother over and over again. I'm standing for you. Yeah, I know it. Slow down. Yeah, people in their eyes. Yeah. And you know, as I learn and as a grow is crazy because I use my platforms a funky Friday, fourth and one, when you see me as talent on ESPN first take, when you see me, you know, BET of 106 in sports, that's my ministry. Right. And I have an opportunity to lure people to the degree. I've never been shy about who I am or what I represent. I've given my life over to Jesus Christ He is the head of my life. And those type of things, it's like, well, it looks a little different. But I know where my heart is. So ironically enough, growing up in church was my first initiation to public speaking. Okay. Okay. So that was extremely comfortable for talking and just being in Juveol in front of people and just feeling comfortable. So you grew up in front of crowds. That's nothing new for you. No. You felt natural, felt comfortable in being in that situation. But it's a big difference between a church crowd and a football crowd. For sure. And the emphasis is on what you're doing and how you're acting and how you're performing and all the rehearsals. I also passed it several of the cowboys. So I got a front row seat at what it was like to be in the NFL. Yeah. I saw all the girls waiting in the back lined up on both sides. Just a full set. Yeah. I saw all of it. Okay. The good, the bad and the ugly. Yeah. But it is an amazing thing that a lot of our young men aspire to be. What advice would you give to those young men who aspire to make that to cross that divide and go into that area? Well nothing, that's worth having will be given easily. Right. Right. And I think there's a lot of distractions, temptations, hindrances, and any walk of life. Right. Right. And when you add in stardom, plus financial freedom, that could be the recipe. To, you know, a demise to the greatest. Yes. Of strong individuals. But as long as you are rooted in what your purpose is. Right. Often times there's, it's funny story because I always knew right from wrong. I just didn't do right. Mm-hmm. All the time. Right. And it was crazy that my highlights when I was in the NFL. You know, it was, you know, that's a national kind of platformer. And I remember on my by-week, I went back to church because we had a free Sunday. And one of the mothers pulled me aside to say, uh, came in. Now I read your lips on one of the touchdowns that you said. That's not Jesus, baby. And now, you know, I wanted to be respectful because it's a yes, ma'am. But it was one of those things that you had. That was some of the pressures. Yeah. Trying to, to, to be a certain type of baby, but also staying true to who are and everybody sees the transition that, man, I remember he was just that. No, go ahead, kid. That was asked to stand up in church because he was falling asleep. And now going back to those roots, a lot of those people still see that little boy. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not saying, I'm not using an example of using an explicit word, but I'm saying as you grow, so does distractions. And you have to stay focused. So, you know, uh, I understand your parents were married for 30 years. You said that you were kind of the black sheep of the family. How many other siblings do you have? Two. So you grew up in a strong family environment, dinner around the table, all of that kind of stuff. What do you think was the secret to the longevity of their relationship? Simplicity in routine. Okay. Simplicity in routine. I've studied my, my parents relationship for years and in some ways, envies of it. Because on one hand, I know simplicity in routine, my father's going to wake up at seven. He's going to be out of that house by 830. And when he comes back, his food is going to be prepared. You know, the clothes are going to be ironed and the house is going to be, you know, tidy and everything. My mom's, you know, she going to watch HGTV all day. She may throw in a discovery channel every 9 days. She going to go to her marshals or TJ Maxx or May C's or JC Penny. She's going to do some antique shopping and make, you know, pick up a thing or two and then at a certain time, she's going to make her way right back onto the house to make sure that that routine is consistent. My brothers as well too, both are married. And I see them and it's simplicity in routine. So on one hand, I know that. But on the other hand, if we're being real, I can't be that. Because like I was having a conversation with the young lady that was micening, you know, I'm going to sleep at 2 a.m. losing opportunities with my children, not by choice, just by force, but finding it in other ways and other avenues. That's my sacrifice that hopefully pays dividends to what I deem success looks like. Not to number 2, simplicity. Do you think that where you are about that is where you'll always be? You know, we go through stages and phases and different ages and think differently depending upon where we are in life and with the level of ambition and demand that's on you right now. Simplicity is an impossibility. But don't you miss it sometimes? I find simplicity that speaks to me. It may not speak to everybody. You know, when that red button is pressed or that red button is pressed, a lot of times people see a character. Right. Right. When you would take the stage as Bishop TD, it's something that clicks into you and say, I just got to come up. You know, it's just certain things. You know, when I went on a football field, a character was unleashed. But the simplicity is when that red button is not pressed, that field is not able to talk to or get walked on or that stage is not. And I tap in with myself. Those moments are precious, at least for me. Yes. They're very precious and very proud of us. Yes. And hard to come by. And you hate for people to disturb them and uproot them. Yes. And jank you back into being on the field or on the stage or whether it's a Broadway play, they're very, very precious, precious moments. But my question to you is, you've been the earthly display of God to so many people. Right. How do you find the time, the energy to just take a step back and disconnect to recharge in your own life? It depends on how old I was, how I would answer that. For at one age, it was getting away, it was going on vacations, it was just going where nobody knew my name. And then it got smaller and smaller, the universe of people that did not know who I was at all. At this stage in my life, I stayed home. You know, everything I need, everything I wanted, I go about five places, you know, the CVS to the grocery store, I insist on normalcy. Because I think to be totally robbed of normalcy, it's the worst robbery in the world to be denied your humanity because you were created as a human, not a star, not an actor, not a movie star, not even a preacher. You were created as a human being. And so you were a man before you were anything else, you were God's man, but you're also a man and that man needs to be able to breathe and think. And in order to be able to walk out on the stage and be creative and be inundated with new thought, he needs to be able to think and read other materials and be wise to what is going on in the world, especially now, when the world is changing so drastically, I can no longer depend on the world to be what it was ten years ago. The institutions are changing. One thing I always give credit to when Katrina came in New Orleans, it wasn't the win or the reign that really did the most devastation. It was the breaking of the levees. And we are watching the levees break. All the standards, all the routines, institutions, stables, laws, rules, we knew how things went, we knew how they worked. They're all breaking. As they break, we're on the roof. We're on the roof right now. And so I never felt more needed in all of my life. And to be honest, I never felt more uncomfortable in all of my life because I like for it to know that this is stable, this is not going to fall over, it's going to be there. And that's where faith becomes the most important because you don't need faith when everything is steady. You need faith when everything is shaken. No for sure. It's when our hell is breaking loose. And you find yourself in those kinds of situations. When you look at your life and you look at your commitment to familyhood, you were talking about your sons and all of that you have out many. I have six sons, three daughters. Six sons and three daughters. Okay. Wow. That's a lot. That's a lot. You didn't. You didn't. You didn't. He was taking a bath. Oh. He did. He completely helped me. He just said, I have a bad thought. You got six sons and three daughters. How do you manage to give them presence and not this presence or do you? Oh, I'm a very hands-on father. Okay. But I think the more wise are I become, I try to make sure that each child experiences to the best of my ability, the same parent, even though they will never witness the same dad. No. Do you understand? Oh, I totally do. So it's like your first, they get to, oh my goodness, you just, ah. Then you start to get into your second and then you get into your third and then finally do you, well, you get to a place where you appreciate life and yours to say when the nurse or the night nurse comes in at the hospital and she says, hey, do you want me to take the child so you guys can, yes, you take them. Because we know that these times are precious for sleeping and catching up and just, you know, those type of situations. And that when you start to have a family dynamic, you start to realize the way you parent your, your, your sons is not the same way you parent your daughters. The way you parent your oldest is not the same way you parent your youngest. And then me being the middle child, I know I never really bought into, I was the forgotten one or I felt, no, no, no, my parents did an unbelievable job with, with maintaining equality within the household. And that's what I just plan to do. Like small things, especially during the holidays, you know, the, the, the, the smores and, you know, I do all these cool things to the world, right, tick tockers, the snap chatter, right, Instagram, or just YouTubers. And when you do those things and try to give your children the experiences and when you ask them, what was the coolest thing about daddy's Jersey, you know, retirement Jersey ceremony? Man, we got to just play with daddy on the football field. It's the simplicity. Yeah. It's not the extravagant, you know, birthday parties and they just want to pool. And with having a lot, I've realized they don't even want the money. They just want you. Yeah. And I try to find time that even when I know that they want me, going back to that simplicity or tapping into yourself to get recharged, I want to make sure that I'm the best version so that when they see me, I'm green. Chapter three, reluctance to marriage. Your parents have been married for 30 years. The thing you brag about the most is the steadiness of how they are. They were dependable. They were consistent. You even know what TV shows they watched. All of that was in place. And out of that environment, you still grew into the uniqueness of who you were. And at the same time, I've read that you were uncomfortable, undecided or uneasy about getting married. Yeah. Yeah. What makes you not want to give them the steadiness that you enjoy? No, it always is misunderstood about my thought process of marriage. Okay. Right? Straighten this out. And I'm going to try. Okay. Okay. You cut your steam on. Yeah. I know. Uh oh. And your iron cast. Okay. I think for me, growing up in church, my expectations of what marriage looked like was was pristine. Yeah. Sister Sohn and so and brother Sohn. So we were not privy to what their issues was. Right. They household. That's what the adults protected and shielded the children from. Right. We just stopped seeing Sister Sohn. Right. And she started to grow. You start to realize it's like, well, sister Sohn, so still here. And she just brought another brother Sohn. Right. Well, brother Sohn, so it's still, hey, y'all don't really know what's going on. I say all that to say now when you take a step back from spirituality, religion, and you go into the world and the people that you look up to or you look at and you start to be around. Right. And you start to say, y'all values of marriage ain't the same that I was used to. Right. Was it I tripping or is y'all tripping? So or or or is part of the education of the child to learn conflict resolution and how to survive in perfect situations? Oh, yes. Because I think that you do your children and injustice if you create this Aussie and Harriet life for them. And then they go out into the real world and find out that doesn't really exist. Right. Some of the strength, inner strength of your inner being comes from the conflict and what went wrong. Not what I learned more about what went wrong in my life than by what went right. For sure. I learned I learned strength. I learned survival techniques. I learned forgiveness. I learned when you've had enough and you need to walk away. All of those things I learned either through my own experiences or watching my parents walk through their experiences. My father was a kidney patient. He died when I was 16. I watched my mother take care of him. I watched him have good days and I watched him have bad days. I watched him run his fifth stool. A wall. I found out that having uniformity came at great price and that you had to suck up some of your individualism and some of your attitudes and some of your feelings for the betterment of the whole. I tell people, I've been married 43 years and I tell people we are married today because we believe in something bigger than ourselves. That is to say the marriage requires that you stop being selfish in order for the good of the whole and not everybody is mature enough to come into that selflessness so that you can create that environment of safety for everybody. When I think about you, I'm guessing because this is my first time meeting you, but when I think about you, it's our second. I'll tell you the first. Oh really? We got to talk about that. Okay. When I think about you, the thing that really trips me out about you, it's hard to date as an athlete. I was going to let you finish. But you said a certain amount of maturity. Yeah, right? Right. I would say also people are in relationships for the wrong reasons. I talk to people for them. Right, right, right. And it's my job to evoke emotion. I'm going to stat twist. I'm going to rub. I'm going to, you know, console you. I'm going to tell you certain things. And I'm also going to study and observe you. And I realized a marital vow comes from religion. All the principles of how to find a virtuous woman comes from religion in scripture. But why is that we only cutting out certain pieces of the Bible to just fix our lifestyle? Well, we're not applying the other things that God wanted us to do. So does that drive you away? No, it doesn't drive me away. What it tells me is that I have to make sure that I'm making a sound decision. I can't fall victim to a person that doesn't have my same principles because knowing that that same whisper of that's not of God. But why would it have been easier to find companionship without money? We're coming on here. Were you to get right out of my mouth? No. When you were broker, were you more sure that they were into you for you? Yes. It's part of the problem and the reluctance coming from the fact that now you can never be sure. Yes. The why behind whether they are with you for a payday or whether they're with you for the prestige or the rooms that get to go into and you have to go back in your mind and wonder what's the real reason? And this is the thing, Bishop, you won't find out until it's too late. Yeah. So when a person questions my marital thoughts, it's not that I have an issue with marriage. I've been in the situation to understand this. My desire of marriage is not greater than my fear of divorce because when I come into a situation and I start to say, yo, I'm just this church going individual and marriage is supposed to be here. Then I go into a situation where people in my locker room are married all Sundays, but on Fridays, they sing, hold on, what y'all sing y'all it? Yeah. I'm a mecha. Hold on. But that's not just the whole thing. There's a vow that most people do say when they do get married under the Christian law for better or for worse. So as I study that and I start to realize, like, yo, people who are couple goals, people who are showing off their ring before they even understand truly their partner and is their partner battle tested? Well, when you look at marriage, marriage has gone through several iterations. It's gone through polygamy. It's gone through many, many changes in terms of what we require, a range marriages, countries saw problems by marrying the daughter from this side, the prince from that side saw political conflicts. We have had a lot of iterations of marriage and a lot of marriage that was different from what we are going through now. My question to you is this, if you can't feel safe marrying someone for their motives about you, your finances, your wealth and success, would you feel more comfortable if they were wealthy and successful and didn't eat what you had? No. No. You don't want that. No. Because I have that dynamic now. You don't want that. See, see the thing about people love, people love to assume. Yeah. No, no. I practice marital displays and situations in my house, right? With all due respect of our relationship, I'm not just not here coming in whenever I want to. I'm not just allowing her or she's not just allowing me to do certain things. No, we have the children. We do do marital bylaws and principles. Do you think an upwardly progressive woman couldn't do that? What I'm saying is the issue now becomes not with the expectation of marriage. It's all the surrounding antics government wise. Right, right. I know what you're talking about. That's like, yo, prenups, agreements, lawyers. It's not to say that it makes it, it makes it awkward. It's just like if we were to get married on a holy matrimony and their, their Bible does give perfect depictions of what will come under God's eyes as an acceptable reason to divorce. Why are you so adamant about that, but you weren't adamant about having the kids? But for me was something that I thought I was building towards it. Do you see what I'm saying? See, the thing about my transition, like I said, knowing right from wrong but not doing right, that was one of those things. But I get that. I get that. I'm not judging that. I'm saying that you are almost military about it when it comes to marriage. No, I'm not. I just, we haven't had a discussion about having children before marriage. We just had a discussion before marriage. So how did, so I'm asking, so I'm asking, how did you reconcile in your mind, spreading your seed in other places that you don't have the commitment and not giving your child, yes, giving them your attention, yes, giving them your affection, but you didn't give them what you got. Yes. Yes, stability. And do you ever think about that and how do you feel about that? I'm not talking about for the cameras. I'm not talking about in a book. I love where we are. When you, when you land down at night, it took a clock in the morning, do you ever think about that? I want to walk in the next room and see you. I want you to see what a healthy relationship looks like. I want you to see what an argument looks like. I want you to see what dispute looks like. What the whole idea of family is not just the biblical side of it and not the biblical side with having children. It's a whole package. It's a whole package. And I'm wondering you as a person and a person that has deep convictions, I can tell already, how do you manage the convictions when you fail? If you have grace for yourself, when you fall, would you have grace for yourself in a marriage? Would you have grace for her? Is there grace for marriage? I'm walking in grace to refine my flaws. So there's never been a situation that I did not go into it intending to marry. It just didn't work out. So I believe you do more harm being in a toxic situation, sowing off toxic fruit, giving off toxic energy to children. So what have you learned from that in your dating process that makes you slower to go that deep into the relationship for fear of getting trapped with someone that you can love that you can have sex with and that sex is great, but the love is weak. Come on. That's what I've identified. I've taken a step back. Let's talk about that. Let's come on. Yeah, let's get with it. Yeah, let's cut to all that. That's what it was. We were, I was young, right? I came into a situation going back. I will keep reiterating certain things because it's now going to start to make sense. I knew right from wrong. I just didn't always do right. I was young. I did not have the eye to identify certain qualities to say, oh, we need to, we need to attack this, not bypass it. Okay. Okay. No, no, no, no, we need to attack this because that right there is going to show up or that monster is going to grow bigger and bigger and bigger and as your partner. Yeah. That's where you can lean on me and I can lean on you. Now you know what you want. No, for sure. Okay. Now you know what you want. Tell us what that looks like to you. Now I know not just what I want, I think for each and every man, it's verbalizing what you want and that's the issue because being around men for a long time in the sport of football, you get to see different sides. You get to see the douche, the douche, the douche, the strong warrior that takes the field on Sundays but then in a locker room, man, this silly joke, look at this. And the fun loving guy that always gets a bad rap and it's like that's not who he is, but that's the character. And then you always hear these things about man, she just don't get me or. But you've been married for seven years. Like what's so hard to just tell your significant other, your girlfriend, your fiance, your wife that, hey, you're not happy and here's why. Man, she not going to understand, bro. And it's easy for you to say you ain't married. I said, and I respectfully take a step back. But those issues still are there. So for me growing up, I was working towards bypassing the things because and she was fine. But man, we didn't know how to, no one say this right. We didn't know how to properly discuss our issues. Right. Without it becoming a fight. Right. And this is the thing too. Not until recently. And I say recently within the last two years that I was able to verbalize without sex. Yes. Okay. Emotional language often comes difficult for men. Yes. We were not encouraged to have emotional language. We were encouraged to suck it up and take it like a man and shut your mouth. And so breaking through those barriers, I totally get it. But I wanted to realize that I just gave you a chance for millions of people perhaps to or at least thousands to see what your Cinderella looks like. And you didn't describe her. I have her. You have her. Yes. You have her now. I'm in a relationship. I'm in a committed relationship. And you feel like this is what? It is the one. It is the one. No, no, no. Where else? My fight empire. Congratulations. No, thank you. But this is the thing. I can hear the comments. Now that's going to say, but why you ain't married here? See those type of things for me is still the journey because for me, I need to have full conviction. How long is it going to take? I don't know. When are you going to see your lawyer? I'm enjoying talking to you. I love what I mean. I promise you. I love what I mean. Certain things. And I think that's what church does. They weaponize certain things and forces you to do certain things and you may not be ready. Right. And my grandmother was it'll take that long to do nothing. Right. You see what I'm saying? But this is the discussions that I have with my father. But I'm not talking to you as a bishop, but I'm not talking to you as a pastor. I'm not talking to you as a person. I want to know who you are. We all get dressed and we break alone that doesn't stay long. We use the odor and the faiths away. We get our hair done, but it grows back. We brush our teeth, but our brush stinks. So I want to know what's up under there. Chapter number four. Wearing masks. What's up under there? What's up under there? The resilience that made you survive. For example, I read about the car wreck you had at the height of your career. You've won all these trophies, the Heisman trophies. You've made a name for yourself. For many teams you've been in NFL. You've lived the dream. Then you get a car wreck that was so devastating. We ended up crawling out the back window. I wanted to meet the guy that refused to die in the car and crawled out the back window and got himself to some help. I am fascinated by that. I wanted to meet the guy that refused to end his career even though it was eventually cut short. The normal path and trajectory of people who played the role that you played in football, you were denied that. I wanted to meet the guy that was the bigotry that exists in sports and in the NFL and how you had to maneuver through all of that. I'm meeting him. I'm meeting him. I'm meeting him. So I'm grinning because that's who I wanted to meet. I didn't want to have a conversation with you from a pulpit. That's why I'm doing a talk show. That's why I'm doing a podcast so that I can meet you where you are without the preconceived idea of what I think because we all have masks and the preconceived of what you think. I want you to tell me where you are, what you feel at your age and I want to tell you that ten years from now you will disagree with half of this stuff you said now. Absolutely. You see what I'm saying? Sorry. So if you make it to see, the hardest thing about marriage is you're picking somebody at one stage that you got to stick with. And choose every. At every stage. And you don't know what they're going to be. And you don't know if they're going to get kidney disease. And you don't know if they're going to get cancer. And you don't know if they're going to end up with one leg. And you don't know if you're going to end up with one leg. You don't know if you're going to end up impotent. You have to make that decision. So there has to be something deeper than superficial. Betta you together. And she also has to be a woman that can put up with baby mama drama and put up with other kids and pick up your Phil and thropping side of you I've read about you Did my homework so there's the philanthropic side of you. There's a the adoptive side of you There's the loving side of you. There's the fighting side of you. There's a warring side of you There's a relentless tenacious side of you when you look at all of those different parts of you And you got to marry one person what skill sets do they need to be able to accommodate Those ten people that are sitting in that chair There's ten people sitting in that chair at least that I can see and I just just met you so If we spend some time together I might fron 25. Okay, I hope you don't Yeah I'm not saying you buy both No, no personality disorder. I'm saying that we are a complicated species and Gifting people are particularly Complicated because you have things that you do on stage and you have to gear up to do it And you have to be a certain kind of person to crawl out of a glass when they in a car rig They could have killed you and get back on the field and play again I want it to meet that person and find out who he is. There's something beating up under that sweater That is relentless That is tenacious that is able to maneuver through a System that does not always lend itself to a black quarterback being successful After 105 years of the NFL you've only got 35 people that are quarterback and I call the friend of mine Tolemies going interview you just He just got him made me he wrote his out. No, no, he went out like I was getting ready to interview Prince or something No, no, he went he went absolutely crazy. He says that you are arguably the top five quarter black quarterbacks In the world. That's what he said about you. Okay That's what he said about you. Okay. Give him a Bible for me I will do that. I will do that. I had this conversation last night Okay, and so he he's schooling me because I'm not into athletics like that He's schooling me about who I'm dealing with that I'm dealing with the Michael Jordan of football and all of this He had all these analogy to describe who you were and I wanted to see who's up under there. I'll tell you tell me well the quality that she has to possess It's grace Because what I realized for so long and was good at masking still am good at masking and I think anybody who is somebody is good at Mask it Where does warriors go to week? Yeah, where does lions go to lie? Okay, where do eagles Go to cry and and really kind of Check your scars like hey bro. They got me though. Oh my god. They got me See, I couldn't do that publicly. Yeah, and when you add odds with a person that's supposed to recharge you Mm-hmm Now everywhere is about a field yeah So yeah while I was growing up so growing up fast and realizing that yo bypassing all these things and saying like yo Above all I realized I was hurt And I wasn't able to verbalize what hurt me Mm-hmm now if I can go back to that situation and I can honestly say I don't want to point the finger But maybe you hurt me I was too profiled. I was too like man, where You know, I'm saying like I don't need like what I don't need you. Yeah, I do need you Man you ain't like man get out of here, but don't leave Yeah, see as a man Is oh my goodness For me growing up I was the bread winner. I was the cash cow. I was the man of my house, but always giving respect to my father as that Because he is still the most influential man or person on this earth But even when he comes to me saying son I need Your mom I need your brother. I need Your partner. I need Everybody around you. I need a forsys you to grow up fast So all that to say when I was in relationships having children I was hurt. Did not know how to verbalize my hurt I was masking hurt with sex and that was not getting to the the nucleus of the situation And now you don't really say. Hold on. I'm hurt. Baby. If you want before. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Don't kiss. Like we need to sit down and purify problem of honor. We need to talk. Because what you said the other day, when you was walking out the kitchen and you threatened me, you did. Yeah, that hurt. I didn't know how to say it. I know it needed to be said. And even for her, I didn't think that the relationship that I was in, we were listening to understand. We were just listening to respond. There's many things you said I totally relate to. One of the interesting things is, when you have to mask or you feel the need to mask, you can be lonely in a crowded room. You can be laying in the bed and be by yourself. Because the real part of you, the part of you, not the part the same, we the part that's really hurt. Nobody gets to meet him. And that's the person that God wants. That's the person that a good woman wants. And sooner or later, that's the point the person that your kids want. But you spent all of your life masking that person. How do you unclothe him and still feel safe? You know what's crazy? This may sound like the most toxic thing that any person has ever said, but my children sees that person. And that's the only human beings on this earth that I feel fully safe with. And there you go. My children see a soft side, the protector, the provider, the, the, come on son, don't do that, man. You got a, a frown face. Out of fact, you get a, you get a green face today. Daddy will go get you ice cream. Out of fact, we'll go get you a dinosaur. No, you know what, bump all that. We're gonna go walk into the forest. Thank you always like. You'll do that. Thank you, promise. Yeah. Kiss it. That was my children see that. Yeah. So it may not make sense to you, you, you, y'all, I've identified early on that the only people that I can truly trust and get the most vulnerable side of me. It's my children. For right now. For right now. I'm learning for right now. Like I said, in the last two years, yeah. But my, my lady has unlocked that for me. Chapter five, fixing relationships. When you talk about that hurt and I so get feeling of being hurt and using anger to camouflage it because it's the easiest emotion for us to access. It's not just that they hurt you there who, in times you hurt them. Oh, without a doubt. Yeah. Yes. Did you ever go back to fixing any of that? You stepped out on her. You broke her heart. She really did love you. Yep. You realized that it took her two or three years. Maybe she's never got no weed. Uh-uh. Did you go back to fix it? And if you did tell me and out there, how do you fix it when all hell breaks loose in your love relation and all your marriage? What are the words? The emotional language that you say, uh, is it, I'm sorry, is it, is it? How do you fix it? You know, the same thing that I said that my partner will need, the word that I use, is the same way I handle important relationships that mean a lot to me and that's through grace. Mm-hmm. See, I was raised in a way that at the time she didn't even know that that life exists. Right. When we first started dating my first mother, my, my children, she didn't want this. Sure. She was just like, man, I just like the fact that we, I get you. Mm-hmm. But she already had a child and I was willing to say, I will take you and everything that comes with you. She said, came a point in time that was like, she kept just saying, I just want you. But the reality is, I'm a package deal. Yeah, I get it. I get it. And understand that it was the complexity of that. Yeah. And it's like, oh, but you like being that character. It's like, no, I need to be that character for all of us. Mm-hmm. And I'm not trying to, to trick people. It's, that's who I am. That's part of me. That's one of those 25, 15. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Okay. I think when you have the understanding to say, I did have a strong case of hurting somebody. Mm-hmm. It takes time and it takes grace. And there's been multiple attempts to try to talk. It's been multiple attempts to try to come to the understanding. As you just told me, I'm trying to come down to you or I'm trying to come up to you to get on your level. And it still hurt there. And I will be gracious throughout the whole process to when she finally or when the people finally want to come around and say, you know what? Let's let's let all out there. No judgment. I'm going to let you know how you feel or how you made me feel. And I'm going to tell you what you did and what spun the whole thing because that's the thing that was needed. And we didn't have communication when there was conflict. We had communication, but everything was, oh, man, you want that too? Okay, cool. But ever she want, yeah, yeah. Matter of fact, ooh, yeah, that is hard. Matter of fact, I'm going to get a, that's easy to communicate in. Yeah. Things. But, yeah. Not presents. Not presents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when you have conflict, it started to become even more difficult to communicate. And that's when I needed you the most. Or that's when I need you the most. And when I felt hurt by when I needed you the most, you weren't there. You know what's funny about me? We can be hurt and nobody knows it. We can be hurt and still function. We can be hurt and still make love. We can be hurt and still buy you the dress. We can be hurt and take you up for Valentine's Day. We can be hurt and do all kinds of things and not display it at all, which is scary as I'll get out because you can't look at my face and tell what's going on in my heart or in my head. But to the degree that you have been able to liberate or apologize or repair or stitch or glue or staple together, the hearts of the people, the trail of blood you left behind you. How has that healed you? That's why it's taken time because I don't want a previous cut to bleed on somebody else. So you're saying to me in a way, you're not single enough to get married. What do you mean? What I mean by that is you're still healing from the things you've been through and you're trying to get old enough. Single means whole. So you're trying to get old enough. It's a part that needs to be. Yes. So you don't want to get married with two thirds of you. And one third of you living in regret and one third of you having flashbacks and one third of you having memories. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, let's cut down to the nitty gritty. Or a lot of me, when I'm triggered, I leave. And you will not know where I'm going because I can leave my phone. I can leave. But you, I can leave. You and I can be gone. I've never did a drug or deal in my life. I've never failed victim to alcoholism. I drink wine, but that's not really like, it's not hard. Look, I never drink hard. Look, that wasn't something that I always had a natural spirit, but that boy can't, he's just lively. My thing was sex. And when I leave you, the ego in me is going to say, what you ain't going to do, sweetheart, somebody else will. And that's what I'm trying to make whole. So that makes sense to me from this perspective. You've always had a stage. Yeah. You've always had an audience. You've always had a clap, whether it was Easter Sunday, whether it was football, whether it was a girlfriend, you go from a stadium full of people to an audience of one or two or whatever you were into. I ain't going there. But whatever it was, you've always had an audience. When all the audiences are gone and it's just you, what's going on in here? I'm at peace the most. But there's a lot of me that asked the question, are you going to fight for me? Because when I was vulnerable to the individuals, that's family, that's friends, that's partners, are you going to fight for? That's what I'm most scared of. Because everybody in love, everybody want to walk down to everybody, everybody want to do all the festive marital stuff that the Bible don't even say. And when I call it out, I'm like, yo, the Bible ain't never mention no honeymoon. The Bible ain't never mention the ring. The Bible ain't never mention spending millions and thousands of dollars on a marriage celebration. The Bible didn't say a lot of these things, but if we're going off of the Bible's accord, there's a lot of worldly things that have crept into it. So now for me, above all, going back to the most impactful vow for me, I want to know without a shadow of a doubt, for better or for worse. And how is that evidence? We've been talking this whole time. Yeah, we're talking. Never know. That's the thing. Okay. See, because on one hand, you are telling me you have to have somebody who relates to your history, but also can handle your destiny. Okay. Your history where you've been, or they won't have the same values and the same convictions that have been in bread and you both at home and at church. And yet your destiny, the man you hope to be, the man you are becoming, the man that you, by the way, will spend your whole life becoming. That by the time you get through working on him, you will be old because there's always some work to be done. When Paul said, I finished my course, he was getting ready to die. It's a long walk into where you're trying to go. And you want somebody who can walk with you at every stage and they want somebody who can walk with them at every stage. So I'm going to get off the realization. I'm going to put that down. I like where you at. Okay. But don't just walk with me when it's for the betterment of you. Yeah. I got it. And that's I got the part as long as people understand that when you are hurt. Come get me. Come. I may take man, get the hell away. But don't pay that no attention. That's that's the that's the character. Uh-huh. So that if a dense on will say, Oh, that's toxic. Mip. It's like you know. Like masculinity. Yeah. It's really a task. Will you come get me. It's really a task. Because you're a definition of love. It's proven by you. The other person coming to get you. And that way you don't have to worry about abandon. Check, mate. I got you. I'll take you through these courses. Just to see. I want it. This is the only way I can find out. Yeah. Yeah. I mean you call it high. my father didn't raise no food and I don't got food before. So for me, I need to sit up here and say like, hey, hold on, I hate to do this to you, baby. I gotta see you. You know what you got at me, the good. But I really don't know. And that's what I'm afraid of. That's not to say that I can't come along or come around to being that or everybody to understand that. It's like, yo, this journey, it's a journey. It's a journey, but it's lopsided. Until it's not. It's a journey and it's lopsided both ways from time to time. Oh, yes, sir. Yeah. Yeah, without a shot. Yeah, it's lopsided both ways from time to time. And you, you, and in the midst of all of that, your career oriented. Yeah. So you almost got two wives anyway because you are to a degree married to your profession. Or you're not in a good head. Yeah. Okay. So I get what you're saying there. And you have to have somebody who's willing to share you and not lose you and still come after you. Am I talking your language? I mean, fluid. Okay. Yeah. Fluid. It's hard to communicate with people that do not see your realism. Because if you can't cope with my lifestyle, it's hard for you to understand what I'm going through. I dealt with that with my father. The man, my hero today, man, if my dad says, son, I need you to jump off this cliff. Pop for real. But I'm doing it. That's how much control my, will he ever use that? No, I'm using that as an example of how locked in me and my father is. But even in the most tenderest moments, there's a disconnect because it's like pop. And you go to the grocery store, man. Don't nobody know you. You lost no one. And I don't want to disrespect you. Like pop. But not just sign a hundred million dollars, bro. I gave the church 20 million of that constantly giving back. And everything everybody wants for me is something. What if I need something? Who go? Do you say what I'm saying? I need you. And you just leave. Oh, because I embarrassed you. Now you're going to pull the preacher out of me. I've been good all this time. Come on. You thought to mess me up. Come on. Love you talking about comes from the cross. That never lets you down. That always comes through you. That's always there for you. That is that graceful, that is that merciful. Even if the cross generates to the person you're married to, that kind of God love, that agape love, is what you are describing. And that kind of love that gives you peace and makes you lay down at night and rest within yourself and be content within yourself. And you don't need somebody to tell you what's your name. And all that kind of stuff. You've got somebody on the inside who has identified you. And you have been identified. You are being identified as you are being described right now. Some good, some bad articles coming out. Some good, some bad post coming out. Some good, some bad. But the identification accounts is the identification you get from God because that is the identification that you fight off all the other identifications with. Because it's I am who he says I am. I am who he says I am. And understanding that and understanding that you can climb up in his lap and be a little boy one minute. And then you can go out here and play football and make a touchdown if you need to or go out here and do a show and have all kinds of crazy ratings and all of that kind of stuff. Some of the stuff you're asking her for, you're asking a wrong person. I'm just using it as an example. I know the biggest misconception because when you say you go to recharge, that's where I go. And it's so sacred to me. Okay. I don't be one of people to see that. Right. I don't want to I don't want people to hear my prayers that I'm praying for God. I know I'm flawed. Mm-hmm. But I had a praying grandmother and I lost early this year. My mother constantly prays for me. I know that it's in my heart. I know how to go to the man above and cast down and just these demons and like, I ain't got to talk, what's up bro? I need you. See those things, people just look at the funky fry. I mean, and I'm not being unrealistic to a specific individual because you're absolutely right. But I, I shale the vulnerable to him because it is sleepless nights and why are you always over there? It's not me, I don't. I gotta talk. I gotta see a sign. I mean, I'm uneasy. And before I do what has been easy for so long, show a sign. Just God like, well, we're all mad. Like, well, why am I mad at all the time? I gotta rage. Like, nothing made me happy. Mm-hmm. Oh, why am I yearning that? Like, like, like, system covers me. I'm glad you brought up the rage. I spoke at St. Petersburg floor a year ago and the subject was a danger of anger. And you could literally feel heat coming up from the altar because there's so much suppressed anger. Have you, you don't have to discuss what it is, but have you identified the things that you had that make you angry? Is her? Checkmate. Okay. Do you want to sell them? Yeah. That was hard. It didn't exist before her or the several hers. No, no, no, no, no. There's no her like the first baby mother that I was with. Okay. Okay. It's her. And I just won't hurt a no dad. Like, I love you respectfully for who you are to meet. What we've been through, I've moved on. But there's still rage because I know what you're doing. You don't have to do that. I could be your greatest asset and I know I did my part in hurting you. I could put, don't, don't, don't, don't play with me. Please don't play with me. I'm going to be a little bit more honest if you play with me way too many times in my face. As a man of power, you don't want to get embarrassed in front of people. You did that way too many times. As a man, as a provider, you don't want to be separated from your kids. You ain't got why you telling me when and I can and I can't. As a man, I will go to the end of the earth to protect you and you're not respecting that. As a man, what do you tell your daughter, your oldest daughter who I'm told has issues with you? How are you winning her back or have you given up on winning her? No, never given up. Never given up. Never. She's in a very complex situation because on one hand, what's in her blood is loyalty. And she believes by being with me is disloyal to her. To her mother's care. And I've always had the thought that our relationship, which was great at one point, and it went through a very murky muddy time because it was murky for her. And she was just a byproduct of that and witnessing it all, it all being of age to understand that it cheated on mommy. But this is where, uh-uh, I'll take that one. I'll take that one. So there's more to the story than that. Listen, but you don't want to get put in. There's principles that was always bestowed upon me. Okay. Going back to sister Sala's soul is what brother Sala's soul is. Are we gonna see brother Sala's soul brings another brother? Go put your oxygen in the bucket. And in my household, I was always taught the shelter two children from. Why are you doing it? No. Let's do it. No. No. No. No. No. before, but if there were one thing that you wanted to get through to her because it's obvious that you love her and you care about her and that that's a source spot. Look into the camera like it's her and tell her what you want her to do. I think with all respect of my relationship, you know, she knows this and this is not something that I've not disclosed or this is the first time, but I owe a service and will always be there. But all I'm asking and return is we have to stop the differences of certain things. Just have grace. Please. Like we too far in to be having these situations and for the longest, I've protected the world. Chapter number six being Superman. So when you get through with you, keeping your boots and your phone booth and all that stuff. Who comes to get you? Jesus said, Foxes have holes of birds of the earth. That's the Son of Man has no place to lay his head. He didn't lay his head down, he laid his head on the cross. Who, where do you lay your head and who comes to get you and is it your fault that they don't come because you have trained everybody around you that you are the problems, however. No, it's not my fault because in that way, it's my fault because nobody will ever know. I've mastered. That's unfair though. How can you expect people to respond to a scream that they never heard? That's where does warriors go to wheat? Yeah. Where does lions go to lie? Where the egos go to cry? Yeah. That's the warriors battle. He's like, yo bro, when you on the battlefield, you can't sit up there and hear somebody crying and like, hey, man, shoot that gun. What you doing? But the vulnerability is if this building is on fire and somebody is trapped on this floor, if they don't scream, they're going to burn up in here. Now, if your life depends on your future depends on it, your happiness depends on it, your wholeness depends on it. You better get some vocal cords, but there's been times where nobody was seeing the signs and that's what you keep coming back in different ways. Yes. I've been screaming to the people who I trust the most. That is not what you're going. Hey, I need what? Hey, man, my boy, I need. And then it goes. So when I go back into my space, figure it out. How long do you go back in your space and stay before you come out again? It's not a tangible time all the time. Okay. It could be days. Uh-huh. It could be weeks. It could be months or years. Oh, my goodness. Tuck. And nobody. So we're left with the actor. We're left with a shell. The shell. It's who I didn't want to talk to. I didn't want to talk to the shell. I wanted to talk to the man. No. And I'm getting to talk to them. No, for sure. And I'm thrilled with that. Uh-uh. There are other people out there who are interested in the man. Being famous does complicated. It does complicated. Having any kind of wealth complicates it. Having people debate you like your ping pong ball complicates it because when people see you in certain TV, they don't think you're a person. They, they, a lot of people see you as an opportunity more than they see you as an individual. Can you share that part again? A lot of people see you as an opportunity more than they see you as an individual. No. Can you say it one more time? Okay. A lot of people see you as an opportunity because you are where they want to be. So a lot of people who are trusted see me more as an opportunity than an individual. Then, then, then, then you have to find somebody. You know, hear who? By the time I found out it was truly there. That was in this is now. You have to find somebody who's not interested in all of that stuff. Who really gets to see you first of all, can hear your scream on the frequency you're sending it is a sign that's the one and then, then have the courage to be vulnerable enough to face the possibility of rejection again to go out there and get it. And is it worth it? Yeah. I think it's worth it. But you got to think it's worth it. Chapter number seven, emotional language. You made a comment about gender roles that became quite controversial. What do you think about gender roles? Can you give me the specifics because I want to answer it. Should a man also be submissive to a woman or should a woman only take only cater to a man? Is there a time that is appropriate for a man to be submissive to his woman? Now, just with all that wasn't my quote, but what I will say, yes. Okay. Yes. Yes. I think oftentimes I have the unfortunate reality of sounding like I'm choosing a side. Uh-huh. Okay. And while you have a microphone, a platform, or being that individual, they say, uh-uh. He says, uh-uh. He pressed, uh-uh. He's right. Uh-uh. Like, let's get. But what I don't do more times that I should be doing is putting the mirror back on the individual and say, you know, you're kind of confused. You're kind of confused. You're kind of confused. You're kind of confused. You're kind of confused. You're kind of confused. You're kind of confused. to come out. If the statement was misallocated, one of the things you have to realize is that you may be responding to somebody who is not mature enough to have the conversation with or is so full of bitterness from what happened to them that you become an outlet for their pain. And the third thing that I think is really, really important, if you listen to anybody talk long enough, you're going to find something to disagree with them about, or they're going to say something stupid. And you've got to be able to live with that because the person who's criticizing you, if they had your microphone, eventually they get criticized too. Oh, without a shadow of it. They get criticized too. How have you learned how to deal with disagreements in a relationship, or are you still learning to language? Are you still learning to language? Disagreements in a relationship? Is it better to write it? Is it better to verbalize it? When you're angry, do you have emotional language? I keep coming back to emotional language because emotional language is a big thing for us. We learn every other kind of language. We may even speak another kind of language, but that hard language, we'll talk about sports, we'll talk about girls, we'll talk about food, we'll talk about money, we'll talk about everything before we talk about how we really feel. How fluent is your emotional language? Well, emotional intelligence is how it was explained to me. And, well, intelligence is knowing language is communicating. You got to have both. Thank you. Thank you for correcting. Yeah. With that, I've done the work or trying to do the work to be able to, this is this is thing, to be able to speak it, right? In a tone that in some ways you just got to give it to people with vinegar. It ain't no way around it to say, hey, listen, baby, hey, listen home, but and then there's sometimes you have to deliver the message you're hunting. Yeah. That's the intelligence versus how it is delivered. Now, what I'm going through now is having discernment of when I take the back seat and allow her to leave. And that's where I'm trying to become whole lit. And that's it. That's a new woman. That's a new woman. You're not married to your grandmother. Your grandmother's woman is that generation as fast as way. Your mother's generation is fading away. The new generation of women, not all of them, but many of them do want that opportunity to lead to drive, to be progressive. And it doesn't make us any less man. But it is hard when you've been trained in one environment to become the other one. I think it's very, very difficult to do that. I want to ask you this question. Travis Kels and Taylor Swift had an argument. Travis Kels recently said he's never been in a argument with Taylor Swift. And they're two and a half year relationship. So I didn't tell it right. They never are you. And two and a half years, they don't argue. What are your thoughts on that? Do you think it's possible to have the kind of relationship that they have and never are you? I don't think it's impossible. Because I can say the same. How are we identifying an argument? Exactly. That's the real question. That's the real question. Because that doesn't mean you don't have disagreement. Yeah, right. You know, we could talk about it. But that doesn't mean you're voicing your opinion as efficient. I'm voicing my opinion as a human being. Hey, when you're in a relationship, she's voicing her opinion and say, hey, baby, this is how it made me feel. And I could say, nah, nah, babe, you're wrong because that wasn't my intentions. Okay. I apologize. I apologize. That's not an argument. That's a discussion. Now, I can't speak on what I genuinely don't know, but it's not hard to believe that that may be his reality because that may be true. Yeah. It may be hard for a person that does argue to say, man, ain't no way in the world. He ain't argue, but just keep living. So chapter number eight, killing giants. Let me do this one. So you got nine kids. Yes, sir. Okay. Any more? God willing. Only God knows how many more you're going to have, man. I ain't judging that. I'm just going to receive it as five more. Three more. It allows me to have more. That's just another blessing. Do you ever fantasize about bringing all of them up under one roof? They have been not as consistent as I wanted though. And that's what hurts. Because I come from that. I come from the big family and everybody just ragging on this. Ain't person in that person being a funny person in that person being the real man at a house or the woman at a house when that person is like, yeah, if I had the chance to see you again, I would ask you to write a list of everything that hurts. The first girl, the gathering of the kids, the inability to make commitments. There's something about writing it down and looking at it, it takes some power away from it. And it's just like right now, the budget. Yeah. I would ask you to write an emotional budget that gets you to better so that you spend less time in your space suit. More time being the amazing, wonderful creation that you were made to be. And this is something you can do yourself. And as you stare at what hurts you, honestly and openly, it loses its power. As long as it hides in your chest, the blood pumps to it. If you write it down and ink and look at it and say, that's not the way I should feel about that. That's not the way I'm going to deal with that. This is the strategy for this. This is the strategy for that. Just like you figured out everything else. You figured out too many things in life. I go back to the car. I go back to the career. Most people don't know that there's a life after the goalposts. I go back to ESPN, BT, all the things. You figured out everything else. You're not going to tell me these four or five things we talked about today are four or five things that you can't overcome. And your life, which is passing really quick. The distance between you and me is not nearly as far as you think it is. It's worth it to fix it. Please, please, hear me. Don't try to live with it because you're going to look up in life. It's going to be over. Please, please do the hard work therapy counseling prayer, all of it to get yourself where there is no rage left in you while you got time because you will be me in a minute. I swear I was you yesterday. And all you know about God, you're smarter intelligent, you're bright, you got great personality, you got great charisma. It's a shame that you have to live in the apartment with an angry, frustrated door kicking in, glass breaking individual. And then I have to hide in most of the time on top of that. He's not that big. He's not that tough, David. The giant can come down. And you won't even have to use all your stones. But get him in front of you and make it an objective for 2026. I'm going to kill at least three of these giants out of my life because I am taking my life back. I am not going to allow him to kill, steal and destroy what's left of my youth. You'll you'll listen. You will never be young again. Never. Never. And all of the stuff and all of the women and all of the calls and all the phones will stop ringing. You got to you got to find that place of peace. No matter how much money you got and how big your house is, how many square feet of it? Please hear me. There'll be nothing. If you are not happy in yourself and can't nobody do this for you, you have to do this for yourself. You cannot allow it to be based on your daughter's reaction, your first girlfriend's reaction, your baby's reaction. This is not reactionary. The thermostat can't be in their room. It's got to be in the same room with the furnace. It's in you. It really is in you. So if we close out this podcast today, which doesn't even feel like a podcast, it feels like I'm sitting up talking to somebody that I don't know that you say I've met you before. It feels like an opportunity to say something to you that is really important. None of us have it all together. None of us have it all figured out. All of us got something written on our sheet of paper. That's okay, but let's lower the lists now so that you can enjoy the stuff while you're young enough because you have built your life around a youth that's leaving. But pants that are going to be too big, got bedrooms here and even going to go into no more. The kids are going to get their own lives and come see you on the holidays. You got to live with you. And I tell you like I would tell my own son, youth is a paper. It's like steam on a mirror in the bathroom after a shower. But time you drive this going. You just got a minute to fix this and none of those girls and none of those jobs and none of that money is going to be able to fix it. And I think you came here for me to tell you that. And I pray you hear me because I don't want you to turn into a bitter old man with a lot of excuses as to why he wasted his life and wasted it rich. It's not like you're sleeping up under a bridge, but you are sleeping up under a bridge. It's not like you don't have anything, but you don't have anything. It's not like you don't matter, but if where it counts, you don't matter. And only you can fix that. Only you can fix that. More money can't fix that. Bigger house, house in Paris can't fix it. South Africa can't fix it. Only you can fix that. Because every time you get on a plane, it's going to get on a plane with you. And you're going to look around and all of that black hair is going to be white and the hat won't hide it. It's going to turn white. It's going to turn white. Your knees are going to get stiff. Your body's going to ache. And it's going to be too late to fix it for the few people that you really, really care about. That short list of people who are holding your thermostat right now, you got to get your thermostat back. You got to do what you can to explain it and regardless to them receiving it while you're living or after you're gone, you got to get to a place of peace about that because you're running. Please hear me. You are running out of time. I know. You are running out of time. Thank you for being on the show today. Thank you. This was the main off-enominium. I love you. I love you. Yeah, I love you too. Thank you. I just want to thank you. I received what you said and listening to understand, I didn't want to interject. Yeah. I appreciate your grace going back to the first time I met you. Yeah. We were in LA. Really? You were with your family at the Palm? Oh, yes. And when you came in, you passed me as I was checking in to my reservation. And people forget how much I really was in church or I come from church. And look, I said, hey man. Hey, that's TDJs. Yeah. And yeah, I met you there. There is something really special about you. Don't let those rats eat it up. Don't do that. Thank you. 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