Anthony Anderson: STOP Wanting — How You Actually Get What’s Meant For You

This is an I Heart podcast guaranteed human. I've never been upset at another actor or another person getting the gig that I was up for because it wasn't mine. And I and I always tell people I was like, you can't you, you can't compare yourself to anyone else and you can't judge them or judge yourself. I was like, that's their journey. That's their path. And I was like, that was destined for them. That was predetermined for them. And you can't worry about that no matter how you feel it was going to change your life, no matter how big it may have ended up for them. It may not have been that way for you. Thanks for watching guys. Today's episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. Today's guest has been keeping us laughing for over three decades as an actor, his work has become part of how we experience film and television. And through shows like Blackish, he's helped redefine how we see the Black family on screen. He is currently holding the record for the most N double ACP image awards for outstanding actor. Yes, he's also a pretty great golfer. Depending on the day, you know, nobody's he's been a familiar and trusted presence. And he is now stepping into a new chapter as the host of Netflix's revival of star search. Please welcome Anthony Anderson. To IRL podcast. All right. First off, okay, I didn't know I held the record for most N double ACP image awards. You did not know that? No. I'm here to tell you according to my research. No, your research is pretty spot on. I got a gang of them. I got a gang of them. I didn't know I had the record. There are a lot of other accolades too, but we would be here for so long. Yeah, we would be here. And I want to get all in your life. We can talk about the 13 Emmys that I'm, I'm, I'm OFA 13. I'm the Black Susan Lucci. Yeah, you make jokes, but does that suck? Oh, no, it doesn't. It doesn't suck. You're okay with the nominations. I'm okay with the nominations. Is there at least something to you? You get a certificate that's that that acknowledges that you have been selected to be nominated. And people, people are like, you should keep that certificate. I was like, for why? Doesn't hit the same on the shelf. It now. It's like a participation trophy. I'm like, for why? I know. Well, I have a, you know, in 97, what year was that? Ladies night, we got a Grammy nomination. Okay, yes. So I have back then, Grammys, they give you at least a medallion. Okay. Okay. It looks like a grand erase. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I don't have a Grammy. No, but you got a Grammy medallion. But I have a medallion. And I put it in a little case and it looks like something. Okay, go. So maybe it's all in the framing of the case of. No, no, no. You deserve at least five of those at least. Thank you. You know what I'm saying? Do you feel like that? We all feel like that. We all feel like we, at first off, we don't do what we do for the trophies. You know, they're great to have on a mantle and you can brag about them, you sure? But once you get them, they just sit there. But now that's not why I do it. Yeah. I just like talking about it though. It doesn't humble you. It doesn't. You ain't all that. You ain't even we wanted them. You ain't got one. You know, you never have any. All that great television you did. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that. But it's good. But it's good. Not everybody realizes how much that really was your show. I mean, we know it was your show as the start one of the stars and actor of the show, but you really at the inception of the show. Well, well, can you, can you, can you bear us in our, yeah? We did, you know, we, we sat down at, at a, at a table at this little restaurant on San Monica Boulevard in Hollywood called Laurel Hardware. And we sat there and we talked about the landscape of television and what was missing from that landscape for us, he and I, what we like to see and what we missed from television. We were both and still are Norman Lear fans. So we talked about those shows we grew up watching good times all in the family, the Jefferson's and then fast forward to Cosby, a different world of things like that. And we were like, those are the shows that we liked and we grew up on and those are shows that had social commentary. Those were shows that had leading actors that were unapologetic in who they were and, you know, had something to say. And, you know, we sat there and we just talked about our families. And we had a lot in common, Ken used from Ingawood, I'm from Compton. Both of us are first generation successful, you know, both of our families were living a privileged life. Both of us were the only African-American families in our neighborhoods. Our kids were in private school. We were the one of few black families in the private schools that we went to. So we were sharing these stories, living independently of one another, but down walking the same path. And we just talked about that. Yeah, and he was like, you know what, man? You know, he's like, and he made the comment. He said, you know, I feel like I went from raising a black family to a black-ish family and we started laughing. And at the end of our meeting, he called me a couple of weeks later and he's like, you know what, I thought about what we talked about. And I think I have a show for us and we should call it black-ish. And I was like, let's do it. And eight years later, 173 episodes, two spin-offs. Yeah, here we are. Wow. When you say that, what was the term you just said, first generation successful? What is that like? Interesting. Yeah, because a lot comes with that. A lot comes with that. A lot of responsibility. Yeah. Sometimes a lot of unwanted responsibility. And just being in a position that other people take for granted, family and friends. Well, you got it, so I got it, you know. And it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. For the most part, I have it, so we do have it, but I also worked for it, you know. And it's not about me having it and being in the position to just give it away because or give it to you or hand it over. Because eventually, if I continue to do that, I will have anything to myself. You will have it to my self. You know, and then we will all be back at ground zero again. So it's a lot of adjusting. They're the big family. I have a big enough family. You know, I have two brothers and sisters. My mom, but then, you know, at the time, a wife, two children of my own, aunties, uncles. And so, you know, and you feel a responsibility. Yeah. You know, it was like, yo, this is my family. This is where I come from. So, you know, it's somewhat of my responsibility to make sure that they are okay. Yeah. But then you have to learn how to say no. Yeah. You know, after a while. And we all go through that with our success. And then, you know, it's an adjustment period on both sides of the family. Right, because they got to get to know who this version of you. Yeah. Because you have to shift a little bit to your in this like leader position. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting because when you think about, because you've been acting since childhood, you think about child actors trying to find who they are in the world. Sometimes it gets complicated. We hear plenty of stories about child actors who get lost because they never really grew properly out. Yeah. But you were a child actor and first generation successful. Yeah. There's a lot to kind of sort through to get to who you are and what makes it. You know, I wasn't really a child actor. This was a dream that I had as a child. And you know, it was pursuing a sense. But did you know a commercial that like five? I was, it was, it was, it was later than that. But yeah, my mother had me on stage as a baby. So it actually was in my blood. It started young. So yeah, I was a child actor. Yeah. I'll take that back. I was like, you just weren't a successful one. And you weren't making any money. Yeah. You know, and it's something I want to add to that, you know, about responsibility. You know, I lost my dad or we lost our dad. So, you know, I became the head of the household. You know what I'm saying. So I lost my pay. I hold him. I now, how will you then? I lost my dad. I was an adult, but it's been, it's been 30 years. 20, 25 years now. But just losing the patriarch of the family, you know, and then me being in the position that I am, you know, then I just like, okay, I got, I got, I got to step in, you know, I have to step in. So it's that adjustment as well, you know, I, I, I am my mother's son, but you know, weird way became my mother's partner and mate, in a way, you know, and just navigating those, that terrain and all that. So just, I just want to add that in. And what we were talking about. It's an interesting turn in life. Yeah. It's too, it's funny, as we talk about on this show, a lot of like the roles of women and family and stuff like that, but that, that, that role that you just described can be, I'm sure heavy, like, there's a lot of responsibility in that. Yeah, it is. It is heavy. Heavy is the heavy crown. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. And, you know, I welcomed it, you know, but it's a lot that, that comes along with that, you know, being the oldest child, you know, being, you know, my mama's baby, you know, but also being her protector, you know, what I'm saying, but also her son and, you know, sometimes the roles shifted and, you know, I felt, and sometimes, this day feel that I can't come to my mother as a son. Oh. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes I just want to go lay my head in my mother's bosom and just be like, yo, you know, the weight of the world is a lot right now. And I just want to come, you know, be a child again and just, you know, it's, it's that. Mm-hmm. It's that. You ever notice how everything keeps going up? I mean, rent is going up. Streaming services are going up, even like your favorite burrito place. All of a sudden, I want to charge you for salsa. You're going to the supermarket. They want to charge you extra for the bag. It's kind of crazy out here. The good thing is with Boost Mobile, you and your phone bill do not have to play that game. You don't have to play the, will this go up soon game? Why? Because Boost Mobile has an unlimited talk, text, and data plan at a price that will never go up. In fact, it's the same price you'll pay for life. So switching out to unlimited wireless at a price that will never go up only at Boost Mobile. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Mobile Unlimited plan. I love how self-aware you are Anthony and like, I've evolved into this. I haven't always been this way. I know how did this, how did this become? Life, wisdom, divorce, therapy, all of that stuff. And having conversations with friends like you and other men. Before we started this, we had a brief conversation about how men don't share and don't talk amongst one another. I was like, you know, I'm one of them. So I'm going to make that call. So it's that having a great support group in friends and my brothers that I know that I can go to and not be judged and, you know, we can actually just share and sit and talk and sometimes cry. And I love it. You do? Yeah. How does that work? Just give me a, how does that work? It just works, you know, sometimes we just meet, you know, just like you. You're like, man, you have like guy nights. Yeah. What happens on guy's night? Guys night out. Yeah. What happens? You guys talk about, you talk about women, you talk about cars, we talk about everything. You talk about emotions, all of that stuff. Really? We talk about life. We talk about death. We talk about, you know, all of the stuff that, that, you know, that's going on in our lives and that thing. I believe that's what keeps our sanity. That's what keeps us sane. And we understand that, you know, this, sometimes you sit in a group and it's like, this is a rare thing for, you know, men to get together. I was going to say that, why do you think most men don't do that? What is that about? I don't know, maybe because we don't talk about those things, so we don't know that we can talk about those things with people. And then you have a conversation and it's like, oh, wait a minute. This, I can, you know, share this with without being judged and without feeling less of a warrior, less of a man. It's okay to be vulnerable. You know, I don't have to walk around with this shield up, you know. That's pretty impressive, Anthony. Yeah. Look at you being all emotionally involved. I took me 55 years to get here, but I'm here. It took 55. Yeah. Well, what was it? What did it take? Like, I'm sure there had to be shifts in your life. I'm sure you weren't always like that. Well, we, how, how young were you, how old were you when you get married? I was 20. Baby. Hold on. I was, I was in my 20s. My son is 26. So I was, that's young. I was, I was 20. I was 29 when I got married. I'm sure there's been a lot of evolution of you as a man since then. Oh, hold on. Yeah. Hold on. Because 20s is, even late 20s. Yeah. Yeah. And we met when we were 18 and 19 years old. So yeah. What did you learn from yourself from that experience? Because I find that that changes people dramatically. You know, it's crazy. Angie, I, you know, most people, I'm not going to say I didn't want a family, right? That was something that I never dreamed of growing up in Compton, right? I had this dream of being a successful actor. That was my passion since I was nine years old. This is all I ever wanted to do. This is what I believe my energy was created and put on this earth to do to entertain. And I realized that at a very young age. And that is what, at that time, my purpose in life was, I wanted a family and all of this, let me just say that. But what my driving force was this right here. And I, I picked up and collected a family along the way. And it wasn't intentionally, it wasn't, you weren't intentionally setting these goals. No, not at that time. Yeah, yeah, you know, but the family is something that I wanted. I wanted to be a father. I wanted to be a husband and all of that stuff. But my focus was on this. This was that. And so I collected a family along the way. And you know, we make mistakes and we learn. It's hard to have that figured out by the time you're 20, whatever. Right. Yeah. No way. And, and, you know, I met and got involved with, with, with, with my ex-wife at, at 19. I didn't even know who I was, you know. And you just figured those things out along the way. Yeah. What was it, what was the childhood like? What was early comped in life for you? I never, I never felt like I didn't have or I wanted anything. I mean, you know, you want to, you want to fly clothes, you want to Jordans, you, you, you want all of that, you know, but who doesn't want that as a kid? But as a kid, you know, the lights were always on. The house was always warm, you know. And we always had a meal. So, you know, things, yeah, I, we, when everybody around you, I'm not going to say it was in poverty, but everybody around you is doing the same thing and living the same way. It's just like, oh, we good. You know, everything is good. And then you get older and it's like, oh, we weren't, we weren't that good, you know. Right. You know, good. Like, you know, like, you know, we weren't that good. But, you know, but, but we made it. And, you know, my, my father was a hard worker. My mother was a hard worker. They instilled all of that in us. And you know, it was a loving household, you know, I lost a brother. So it was three, it was, it was four of us. It was three boys and a girl. My sister was the youngest. I'm the oldest. So it was six of us in our house. That must have been tough. Living our life. Yeah. Well, you lose a brother at what age? I was in my 30s. Oh, you're older. Yeah, I was older, you know, tragic car accident. And then, you know, I was a child. He was away in college. And, yeah. And then, and then, and then a year later lost, lost our father, lost my dad. So it was back to back harbor. Oh my gosh. Yeah. That changes. Talk about life-shifting moments. Yeah. And then me being in the position that I am, you know, taking care of my dad, who, you know, we, we lost him to type to complications when type two diabetes. And, you know, so being in the position to, you know, taking over the family as a patriarch, you know, before we lost my dad. And so making sure he was good and then losing my, losing my brother and then my dad after that. So yeah, really. It puts, puts life into perspective. Yeah. Yeah. All at one time. That's, that was a, that was probably had to be a tough stretch. It was. And I remember driving home from my father's wake. And I remember I had to pull the car over to the side of the road and just call home and have somebody come pick me up because I've never felt emotion like that before. And I felt my heart breaking. And so I know what it feels like to have a broken heart. So anybody out there who's heart, I've ever broken, I apologize. And I'm sorry. And I never meant to put you through that. And I apologize from the bottom of my heart because I know how that feels. Did you not know before that moment? I did not know before that. Really? Because you had already been through divorce and. I know. Oh, that was after. That was after that was after. But I had, no, I had, you know, I had no idea what that felt like. And I remember having to pull my car over to the side of the road, not knowing where I was and I've driven these streets my entire life. I had to pull up and say, like, what, my, my ex-wife at the time is like, where are you I said, I have no idea. I have no idea. And I just looked around and I couldn't see through the emotion and through the tears. And I finally told them where I was. And my best friend came and picked me up. Yeah, I felt my heart breaking. Yeah. And, yeah. So it was. Yeah. It was. It's interesting because I think about actors and what you guys do for a living, like you have to pull on these real life experiences. Yeah. I wonder if that moment you've had to pull up. Ah. I, I, I. I can't think if I've had to pull that emotion on. Yeah. I've touched upon it. You know, it's interesting in, in the world in which I live as an actor. It's, it's crazy for what we do because we have to call upon emotions and everything that the average person wants to forget and keep hidden and never want to relive. But we have to do this on a constant basis. And, you know, that's why therapy is good. Yeah. You know, get in there. Yeah. He's got to get in there. You got to get to it. Yeah. It really is freeing, guys. I'm just putting it out there. It is. And that's, and that's something that, you know, the boys we talk about, you know, especially coming from the communities that that that some of us come from, you know, therapy wasn't something that, you know, we thought was for us. And, and, you know, mental health, you know, I'm a proponent for that. You know, that's why I'm out in the community talking about those things. You know, I just want everybody out there to know that it's okay to not be okay, you know, and, and, and, and, and to pay to pull over on the side of the road. Yeah. It's okay to pull over on the side road. To okay to make a phone call. It's okay to talk to your friends. You know, because, say I'm not good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We need to know that. Yeah. It feels so much better to say it out loud than to walk around holding that inside. It does. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. What is it? What do you think, as you talk about your father so lovingly, what do you think makes a good, and you're a father yourself? What do you think makes a good father? What does it make you expect? Wow. You know what? Okay. I'm going to start out with me as a father. Yeah. Thinking that I needed to provide and give my children everything that I didn't have. Right. That's what you thought. That was that was part of it. Yeah. Yeah. And it's a lot more than that. It's a lot more than the tangible things. And I have, having conversations with my children, my son, in particular, you know, having conversations and understanding that my presence is needed in more than just me being there, but to also let them know that they are being seen and heard, which is something that I didn't always do. So you didn't always do that. I didn't always do that. Did you receive that as a from your father? No. No. So, you know, those are things that you learned. It's like an old school man's man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it didn't understand my dreams and aspirations of becoming an actor because my father worked with his hands. It must have been so proud of you though. He was. Yeah. But he didn't understand, earlier on, didn't understand my dreams to become an actor. You know what I'm saying? Any real. That's not a job. Yeah. You know, didn't understand that. But later on in life, he got it. He saw the passion that I had. You know, he saw, he saw this from the age of 90s. So, I was doing this on my own. It's not like, you know, my mother and my dad took me someplace. You know, I found acting schools on my own and conservatories and all kinds of. So, you know, early on, this is this is this. I was like, now this is what I'm going to do with my life. You were a little kid on a mission. Yeah. This is the only thing that prepared myself to do in life. You know, call it naivete, call it foolishness or whatever. It's one thing to be a kid with a dream to be an actor. It's another thing to actually create that dream to come true, but also then to have the actual talent and the gift. Like, like, do you believe what you have as a gift? I do. I don't call it a talent. You know, it's a gift that I have and it's a gift that I'm supposed to share with the world. You know, that's my responsibility. And then someone told me about, and I was telling them about that. And I was like, oh, so you must know about the parables of gifts from the Bible. And I was like, no, I don't. And so they explained to me, you know, three men were blessed with gifts. This is the basics of it. One guy buried his gift in the ground and kept it to himself. The other guy multiplied it by five. Now the guy multiplied it by 10. So when the wise man came back, he said, what did you do with your gifts? And he said, I did this and I shared it and I multiplied it by 10. And he blessed him and he went on. He said, what did you do with your gifts? He said, I did this and I multiplied it by five. And he blessed him and he moved on. And he said, what did you do with your gifts? He said, I hit it in the ground and I kept it to myself. He said, you are to be banished in the corner to grind your teeth for eternity. Because these gifts that I gave you weren't supposed to be kept for you. They were supposed to be shared. Had no idea about the parable of gifts. This was, but this was something that I believed since I was a child. So that's, and I understood the connection that I had to God, to a higher power, to whatever it is that you may subscribe to. But I realized that I have a connection and I understood that connection at a very early age and it was scary at times to understand, to feel that and to understand and to experience that connection that I have. I no longer want anything in life because all that ever did was create a want for it. I claim things as my own and I, that's how I live. And then I have to understand that. What do you mean you don't have? Have you ever wanted something? Wanted to go someplace? Wanted to go to a tent of things. Yeah, I want to tend to things. And never got, right? And you want to know why you want those things, you never have it? Because in wanting for those things, all you do or all you did was create a want for it. And never claimed it as your own. You never said, I will have this. I will have that bag. I will have that guy. We'll have that girl. I will take this trip. You never, you never claimed it. You never saw yourself having it. You just said, I want this. So you're just creating a perpetual want for whatever that thing is as opposed to claiming it for yourself. And a little thing that I tell myself before every audition or whatnot or meeting or whatever it is that may have. I claim it as my own if it's meant for me to have. That's all I can do. If it's mine, it's mine. And I'm going to get it. Just and believe everything in this room is mine except for this microphone. I'm going to come in here and I'm going to take everything out of here except this microphone because it's mine. It's not greed. It's not anything. No, I've claimed it and I've been told that it's mine, but you can't, can't touch this. Cool. Yeah. And that's what it is. You've been told by who? I've been told by the higher power by whomever. I've claimed it. Yeah. You know, I can claim a lot of things and I can, I'm claiming that the glass of water right there is like, yeah, it ain't yours. Yeah, but I've claimed it. I was like, yeah, but I understand it's not mine. You know what you know what's for you. Right. You know, if that makes sense, right? Am I making sense? You know if you're claiming something that's not, if it's like a false claim, is that what you mean? Or you just believe me. But sometimes I just put it out in the universe. You know what I'm saying? And I claim it. Okay. And if it's truly mine, it will come to me. I'm trying to think about what is mine that I haven't claimed yet. See how I just see how I just self corrected. I was about to say, I'm trying to think about what I want. No. Yeah. And I try to change the way that I speak and stop telling myself, I want that because I understand that all by saying that I want this, all I'm doing is creating a one for it. I'll never get it. Yeah. So I'm going to claim this glass of water as my own. That's your own. Yeah. You know, it just, you know, if it doesn't happen to you, and if it doesn't happen, then it wasn't meant for me. Yeah. And that's how, excuse me, that's all I've been able to get through auditions and everything and all of that because it wasn't mine. It's meant for you. It's meant for that person right there. What was the last big thing you claimed that actually Star Search came you up really? Yeah. Even though it was offered to me, doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be mine. You know, hey, Anthony, are you interested in auditioning or not auditioning? Are you interested in hosting Star Search? Yeah. Why would you say that? Well, they just got to call them and said, you know, you're interested. So yeah, I'm down. So I go through my thing. I claim this as mine if it's meant for me to have. And at one point it wasn't mine. Then I was like, okay, well, it wasn't mine. Then it all of a sudden it came back. And I didn't trip off of it. I'm like, oh, okay. It wasn't yours at that time. Yeah. So, you know, I'll tell you, I'll tell a story. It's a long story. And I've told this before, but I like telling the story. At one point I was making, I was making, I've made 53 movies in a short period of time in my career, which is phenomenal. And I was always making these movies and I was going up to Canada making these movies. And I would always say, I want to leave the country and make a movie. And I would always end up in Canada. And one day it dawned on me. This was a lesson in specificity and being specific in what we asked for. It dawned on me that I was doing exactly what I said. I said, I wanted to make a movie in another country. I would end up to Canada and made another movie. But that's not where I wanted it to be. You know, I was like, oh, Canada. Canada all you needed to enter Canada was a birth certificate. It was like, okay, all right, you know what? I'm not asking, I'm not claiming specific things for what it is that I see myself doing. I asked for this and it came to me in the most general form, which can still be of no use to me because it didn't come to me the way that I wanted it, the way that I needed it to. So at that moment, I said, the next movie I make will be shot overseas and I will need a passport to enter the country. Three days later, I got a call. Hey, Anthony, Jerry Brookheimer wants to meet with you. You're on a very short list for a movie that he's making that's going to shoot in Australia. For six months. Wow. Okay. We're saying the movie. Movie is called at that time, it was called down, down and under. Movie eventually became kangaroo jack. So before my meeting with Jerry Brookheimer, I said, I claim this as my own if it's meant for me to have. Is this in prayer or this is just in your thoughts? It's in prayer. It's in my thoughts and I put it all out. It's across the board for me. I go to have my, I go and have my audition, one of the best auditions that I've ever had in my life. I walk out of the audition. It was about 45 minutes. I went in with Jerry O'Connor, who was my co-star, who's already cast as delete. And I walked out of the audition, drenched in sweat. Like I dove into a swimming pool. I don't know what was going on with us in this audition, but that is what happened. I came out drenched in sweat. A week later, I get a call. Jerry Brookheimer loved you, your cast in Down Under, Kangaroo Jack. I was like, okay, cool. I know I'm going to be in Australia for six months. This is how I want to live in Australia. I saw myself living a certain way and I said, when I wake up every morning and when I go to sleep every night, the Sydney Opera House has to be outside my window. I get to Australia with the family. We're in the hotel. I opened up the window. What's outside the window? Oh my god. The Sydney Opera House. Come on, master, manifesto. I don't want to sit. I don't want to live in a hotel for six months. I want the comforts of home. So I saw how I wanted to live while I was in Australia. I never told this to the realtor, but I called the realtor up. She took me to some places. The very first place she took me to was how I saw myself living. Took me to a bunch of places and I said, I want the first place. We get it. It's in a place called Pots Point, right? In the city on a hill. It's on the 12th floor. It's a corner unit. The apartment is about 3,000 square feet, panoramic views, ceiling to floor windows, and outside my window was the downtown Sydney skyline, Sydney Opera House, North Sydney, Sydney Harbor Bridge, North Sydney Island and double bay water all around it. So I'm sitting there one day. It's about three o'clock in the morning. I was like, wow, this is a pretty fucking dope. I'm looking around. It's pitch black outside except for everything that's lit up. And then comes on. I'm looking through the television. My life is my very first movie. I'm looking through the television and life comes on. I was like, oh shit. Smoking a joint. I'm a little high. And I was like, oh my god, I haven't even come on the screen yet from my first appearance in this movie. And I was like, here I come. And I'm sitting there and that's when it hit me. I had an epiphany. And I look at how I'm living and I look at what I've manifested and I looked at what I've asked for and I looked at what I've claimed. And I'm sitting here looking at my life while I'm watching the movie life, which was my very first movie, which was in my opinion, my birth into the movie industry. And because of what I did in that movie and the success of my movie got me my next opportunities and those opportunities got me kangaroo jack. And this is the life that I'm living now. And I look around and I see it how I'm living it in life and I'm watching life, the birth into this industry. And that's when it hit me. I was like, okay, this is powerful. And I understand my connection. I understand how I manifest things into my life and how I understand how I ask for things and I claim things as my own. So when I talk to young actors and when I talk to people, I tell them about that. I tell them about claiming everything that they see for themselves as their own. And it will happen. Stop wanting for things and claim those things and you will have them. That's what I do. And I can sit here as a living testament to that. I believe I'm going to restructure some ways I'm thinking about a few things right after this interview. Yeah. That's so good, Anthony. Yeah. So has that ever failed you? Has there ever been a moment you claim something or really I know the word want but like really wanted something and it and I don't I don't I don't see it as failure because it wasn't meant for me. Yeah, it wasn't meant for me. You know, it wasn't going to open up the next opportunity or wasn't going to give me the experience that I needed in my life that I didn't probably didn't even know that I needed. You know, and I've never been upset at another actor or another person getting the gig that I was up for because it wasn't mine. And I always tell people I was like, you can't you can't compare yourself to anyone else and you can't judge them or judge yourself. I was like, that's their journey. That's their path. And I was like, that was destined for them. That was predetermined for them. And you can't worry about that no matter how you feel it was going to change your life, no matter how big it may have ended up for them. It may not have been that way for you. It may not have. But my reality is I didn't get it because it wasn't mine. Was it for you? Yeah. I know as long as I prepare myself the way that I'm supposed to prepare myself before I enter any audition, any meeting or whatever, because I am the only constant in the equation. Every equation in life that I'm a part of, the only constant is me. Everything else around me is going to change, but I'm the only constant. So when I go to work or when I go to prepare myself for work, I prepare to the best of my ability. And I go in there and as long as I give it my all and I know I did what I was supposed to do, I can't hands up. I can't do anything else about it. Yeah. I can't do anything else about it. It's an easier way to live to life. It is. It really is. It's our sleep at night. I can't be able to be like, oh shit. Why the fuck didn't I? No. I'm going to do this. I got it. Boom. I'm here. All right. I gave it fucking left in audition. Like I sweaty. I got out of a pool. I was like, I left it all on the floor in there. Yeah. It's for me. It's for me. It's all subjective anyway, whoever is there, I can just be the best that I can be. Yeah, for sure. That's it. What is it that, in your life right now, in this, in this phase of your life, like, what is it that you're manifesting for yourself now or what is it that you're, I don't know, working towards or, claiming, what are you claiming that you haven't received yet? Constant, not that I haven't received, but I just, I, I, I just want constant, peace in life, you know, and however that comes from wherever that comes from. Golf Course, maybe. Golf Course, relationships, work, all of that. I just want peace. And you know, I'm 55 now, you know, I didn't know I've been doing this 30 years. You just up, you said three decades and I was like, she lying. I was like, oh, wait a minute. Nope. I have been. We have a record of it. It's crazy. I think my last real job before I got my first real book, my first gig, which was in the house with LL Cool J and Debbie Allen back on NBC. Wow. Yeah. Well, I did that. I was working for Ticketmaster. And my last job, I worked in the phone, the call center for Ticketmaster. Thank you for calling Ticketmaster. Where Master Card is the smart way to pay. This call may be monitored for quality assurance. This is Anthony speaking. How may I help you? Hmm. Had to do that eight hours a day, five days a week, making $5.50 an hour with a daughter, with a daughter, with the daughter. Wow. And a fiance at the time. Wow. Yeah. So yeah, that was, that was my last gig. And I think about, you know, the things that have happened in those 30 years. Yeah. That's so crazy. I didn't realize how much we have a, you know, my 30 years ago, I was, hi, my name is Angie. I'm calling you to ask you what songs you listen to on the radio. I'm from the music research program. I had to do. I did my version of that in the space that I'm in this space. Yeah. No, that's great. That's amazing. I also, I, in college, I also had to call you at night and try to sell you a psychopedias and shit. And psychopedias is crazy. All kinds of, I was like, but it was a gig. But, you know, but I just, I, I, you know, I, I pray for, you know, what I want. I want more wisdom, patience, you know, in the end, peace, understanding, happiness, joy. I want all the things that I would, I would hope everybody else wants that. And that's, that's where I am right now. Today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock Bet Florida Sportsbook. The big game matchup is set, guys. And Hard Rock Bet has all the different ways that you can get in on next Sunday's action. 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All rewards issued as non with durable side credits. $10 plus deposit required for 200 bonus spins for Huff and more Puff only up to $1,000 back and cash bonus. If player has net loss up to $1,000 back and Casino bonus. If player has net loss on slots after first 24 hours, Casino bonus credit has a one time wage a requirement must be 21 or older in present in Michigan or New Jersey to play gambling problem call 1,800 gambler. What about in love Anthony? We've seen you in the carpet with Roxy, which is very cute and interesting, especially for those of us that no Roxy with years. And to be friends with somebody for that long and then start dating them with an interesting thing like this. How long has this been going on? It was something that just happened. We just happened to be in the same place at the same time, at the right time. You mean in life? In life. Yeah. In life. You always kind of have a crush though, even back in the day. No, honestly, I did not. You didn't watch one on six and part. I watched one on six and parts like, oh, she's a cutie, but never was like, I got to get with that. You know, we laughed about that. She's like, no, it was, it was never that for me. And we'd known each other since, but I met Roxy with Kevin Liles before she started 206 and part. Oh, well, I remember I was riding with Kev and he said, I got to go meet somebody and I was like, okay, cool. And he's just crazy. I was in New York. I was in the back of his Maybach and we pulled up and it was Roxy that he was talking to. And we sit up there and I was like, yeah, I met you. She said, yeah, I don't remember you. And so we laugh about it. But but then we become friends over, you know, almost 20 years, you know, place bays, games and all that. We're in the same from friend group and all that. And it just so happened that we just happened to be in the same place at the same time in our lives. And this happened. And I'm welcome. And the difference now is I'm learning where I've learned to prioritize a better balance in life in my personal life and not be just strictly about work and about what the next project is going to be. And now that because I'm no longer in that space. They do think there's something to be said about timing. And you being in a place in your life where you can be in a different type of relationship. It's like I don't know. I don't think people talk about that enough about the timing of connecting with somebody. Right. Whereas like Roxy gets to get like an evolved version of you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure you're not perfect. And I'm not actually help. I get to get an evolved version of myself. You know, it's crazy because in things happen again about asking for things and manifesting things in your life at one point, not too long ago. I sat back and thought about the relationship that I would like to have at this point in my life. And I realized that I was never going to have that if I was to continue doing what I was doing, not that it was crazy. And I was like, but hold on. If this is what you want, these are the changes that you have to make. And I made those changes. And I believe you receive what you're asking for. And I asked for this relationship with whomever it was going to be with. And once I cleared a path and a way for that to happen and to come in my life, it happened. And that's this is where I am right now. I love that. Yeah. And it's a beautiful thing. Yeah. Is it where for you to be in a pub for you guys to be so public? Because there's so much interest in it. Yeah. That is that weird. It's kind of. I've always thought it was weird that, you know, people wanted to know about other people's relationships. I think it's none of my business. So yeah, it's weird to be walking down the street or just I was said, we all went to and the carpet. Yeah, the carpet. But even before that, we went to an escape room and wouldn't have lunch. And but it was my son, myself and Roxy. But you know, in all the photos, they cropped my son out. And you know, made it made a big new. So it was it. But look, we're both public figures and all that. And it's an interest of the public and all that. But everybody wants to be in somebody's business. Everybody wants a story to tell. Everybody wants to say they love a lot of stories. Yeah. Love stories specifically. Yeah. And hopefully this, this, this is a wonderful love story. Yes. But I made a way for it. I made a way for it to for it to happen in my life and for me to have the relationship that I feel I deserve and a relationship that I feel that I need and want at this point in my life as a 55 year old man. It must be nice to have someone because she's she hasn't stopped working. Not at all. And also, it's her hustle is still I still see her showing up to set doing interviewing this, doing working on this project. Is that a night? That must be a nice thing to have somebody who kind of understands that. It is. It is it is it is it's great to have somebody who understands the business who and who's in the business that you know, support you and and I support her. Did she have a, did she cheerly the first episode of Sarser? And she like a fan of the show that she the type of girlfriend that comes home and goes, you could have did this better or that was really funny. Or like, you know, I'm saying you get that kind of she she is a fan of the show. She was there for our first episode last week. And you're not sure she supports it talks about it on on on her new segment on ADC news this is working out perfectly. You know, we have a we have a great relationship. Good for you. And personally look at that. Yeah. And Star Search must be fun. I mean, because you care so much about how even the mentor you talked about mentoring people and you just must be not exciting to be around such young fresh talent. It is exciting to to be there. You know, I grew up wanting to be on Star Search. They used to have an acting competition on the original. That's right. I remember that. I started searching. I remember sitting at home saying, Mama, we got to get me to Hollywood. So I can audition for this because I can do this much better than them what they're doing. Yeah. I can do this. And we never made it there. But here I am now. Do you have a compassion for them? Like, do you are they? I don't know. Do you do you give them? You know, I try to give them notes as as I can be. I'm not a judge, but I don't want it to seem biased or anything like that. So like, like the judges never see any of the performances until the show until we do the show live because we do the show live Tuesday and Wednesday nights on Netflix. So in rehearsals or run-throughs and camera blocking, I get to be there with the talent. And so they perform and then they come to center stage and I go through my whatever it is that telling people how to vote and all that. But I also get a chance to have a conversation with them about how did they feel about their performance, you know, how they feel about the judges' reaction to them. And in that, I ask questions or I'll give them, I try to give them notes without them being notes and hopefully they pick up on it and hopefully their handlers if they're the young contestants, their mothers or fathers or whore was there with them. It's like, yo, that was a good thing that Anthony said, like there was a young singer on there. And I didn't see him connecting with the audience, you know, in rehearsal, even though there was no audience, he was up there singing during a great job, but there was no connection. So when I brought him center stage, I was like, hey, I love the way that you connected with the people in the audience as if you were singing to them directly. I said, that's going to take you a long way while you're on star search. What do you think about your performance? So I dropped little nuggets like that in rehearsals without being overbearing and all of that because I know what that means. And that's what our judges are therefore. That's what jelly roll and Chrissy Teigen and San Michelle Gellers, therefore, to give constructive criticism and inside as well as judging or giving their one to five star. But it's fun to be to be the host of the show, you know, steering that ship live. It's crazy. I think it's an iconic, it is institution. It is just a into sit there and host us. I'm here. I'm a host. Look, I've hosted live shows before. I've hosted the Emmys. I've hosted 10 NAACP image awards. You know, I've hosted the solo train and BET awards. Oh, shows are live as well. So I have that experience. But to do this with Netflix with no commercial breaks and the world is watching, not just America, the world. And for the audience to be able to vote in real time with these contestants on the show, it's it's it's pretty amazing because Warves View and Show has a say in it. It's not just the three in studio judges. They have a say in it from watching the show and I love it. You're like the perfect person. I don't know who it was going to when it was out of your wheelhouse, but yeah, I can't imagine. I can't imagine anybody else hosting. It wasn't meant for them. All right. So I have two segments. One is our IRL voice note. Okay. Presented by Blue Small. It is our it's usually a fan or a I don't know. Somebody from either from the show or from yours. Who has a question or comment? Hi, Anthony. I'm a huge fan. I was a big fan of Blackish. Me and my family watch it every week when I was on air. I'm an aspiring stand-up comedian and trying to look for acting rules. How do you stay confident saying no to opportunities that don't align with you when you honestly really need a job to pay the bills? What's his name? We got no name. Got no nothing. Not to the no name actor slash comedian who called in. First I would say get a name and make sure the world knows your name. But you know, here's an interesting thing. When I didn't feel there were opportunities for me, I'm not going to answer your question in order, but I'm going to answer it. When I didn't feel there are opportunities for me, I went out and created my own opportunities. You know, let's not forget about that. You go out and create opportunities when you don't see an opportunity for yourself. And I have been fortunate enough to have had success in that with Blackish with my very first television show that I created all about the Anderson's and whatnot. Never be afraid to challenge things and to take all the challenge for yourself. There were many a time when I was up for something in a movie or not even considered for something in a movie because the character was it written Black, wasn't written for me. And this is where I go with and challenging. I was like, well, why can't it be me? You know, the ethnicity of this character means nothing to the story. It can be anybody. So why can't I come in and read for this? And I was able to change the minds of casting directors and directors and whatnot and get an opportunity to read for different characters than what they saw me as and sometimes even be cast as that. But also just be true to yourself and be your authentic self. And that's what I would say. And that comes in the form of telling your story since you say you're a comic, a stand up, you know, be your authentic self and tell your story and have a your tell it from your point of view and have a perspective on things. And that's what's going to set you apart. It's not about being a cookie cutter. It was like, oh, so and so did it this way. So and so did it this way. No, they did it their way. So do it your way as well. Hey guys, support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want? And I could really make a difference. Well, you are not alone. And this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge, the skills and everything you need to build the future that you want. And you can make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to WaldenU.edu and take that first step. Walden University set a course for change, certified to operate by shift. Yeah. Come on Anthony. Okay. And finally, our IRL bowl of questions. Ooh. To you by Walden University. I don't have my glasses on. Let's see. I hope it's good. If we don't we don't it's a long one. Uh oh. If your heart had a rule book, what are two qualities that would be written in bold when it comes to a partner and why? Mm. It is. My heart had a rule book. First rule would be to be honest. To be honest about what it is, but to be honest about who you are. To be honest about what it is that you're looking for. Uh in a partner. And to be honest in what it is that you want in a relationship. Uh that's one thing. Uh I'm going to give you a whole lot. Uh be consistent in who you are. Uh be the same person that uh that person met and that fell in love with. Never forget who that is and what attracted that person to you. You can't switch up mid streams like oh I got you now. No. So you have to be consistent in all of that. Be patient. Be understanding. Uh I think that that's enough. That's good. Are you all those things? Uh I'm trying to become better at all of those things. And now and to be honest it's an adjustment. You know I was in I was in a relationship and an marriage for 33 years. So you know some of these things are are they're hard to break. Uh they're not unbreakable. Uh just say yeah just old habits that you have to retrain uh retrain yourself or train yourself differently. And you know some old habits you really don't want anyway. You know regardless of the relationship it's like because we talk about evolving it's like you know I I want to change I'm no longer that person. But these habits that I have seem to bring me back to being that person and I don't want that cycle. So yeah it's you know you have to be cognizant of conscious and conscious of that in yourself. Uh so I'm becoming a better me. I'm no I'm no longer uh the Anthony Anderson that I was you know 10 years ago, five years ago. Shit two years ago. Um so yeah I I am I'm getting better at becoming those things. Mm hmm. It's fun to watch you. Oh thank you. It's fun to be on this journey. Yeah. Yeah it's exciting it's exciting. I'm not gonna lie. It's exciting for me. Yeah. Yeah. What is Anthony Anderson doing in five years? Oh uh what am I doing in five years? I will tell you this. I'll you and I are going to be playing better golf together. I'll thank you. I love that. I love that you will that night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well you put me in it. Wait wait wait what the people need to know is that I was there when you I don't I don't know if it was the first time you play golf but I was there in the very beginning for you. It was tragic. And and and a year to the date of the year to the day later. I was there when you were playing much better golf at the same event. Yeah. So and and we've been traveling the world uh playing golf uh with each other and around each other. So isn't it such a wonderful isn't it just like a wonderful thing to do? It is. It is. I love it so much. So we will definitely be doing that together in five years. What what I will be doing in five years. Hopefully uh still doing uh star search live on Netflix uh and probably wrapping up or in the midst of another successful uh television show that people will be talking about 20 years down the line like they will be talking about blackish like they've been talking about the Cosby show like they've been talking about all in the family like they've been talking about Martin like they've been talking about all the great shows ahead of them. So hopefully uh that's what I will be doing in five years and doing another uh five year reunion on uh IRL. Yeah. I'm claiming it for us. I love that. Yeah. I'm claiming it for us. Well all that's going to happen because you are the master. There you go. Manifesto. Yes, man. The master manifesto. At the end it's in the master manifesto. Sounds like an old episode of Seinfeld, the master master masturbator. Excuse me. That was never so. That would open a whole other line of questioning which unfortunately we will have time for today. But thank you so much. In my final outro question for you Anthony. Yes. It's in the bowl too. It's one of my favorite ones in the bowl. If God were to send you a text today, what would it say? Oh. Keep doing what I put you on this earth to do. And it's not just entertaining. Here I'll say this about about and I believe my energy was put on this earth to entertain. I said that earlier, but that is why I'm here to share this gift. And it's crazy that I'm in the medium to do just that. Television, stage, film, movies, live shows. I've always said that I wanted to have an effect and an effect on people's lives with my work. And because of my work that takes me around the world to have conversations like this. So I believe his text to me would be continue to do what I put you on this earth to do. Anthony Anderson, ladies and gentlemen. Well done. Thank you. This is Anthony Anderson in real life. Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comments, and check out all of the other episodes we have on Age Martinez IRL podcast. This is an I Heart podcast guaranteed human.