The Grouchy Friends/The Girl Who Never Fell Asleep (feat. Jeff Hiller and Hannah Solow)

Lemonada. the fantastic and hilarious Jeff Hiller, and the return of the wonderful and talented Hannah Solo. And of course, we've got more story love with Lee and Peter, and it's all coming up after a few words for the grown-ups. Hey, grown-ups! Today's episode is sponsored by Bombas. You know, people keep asking me about my 2026 resolutions, and I'm like, bruh, it's February. I thought we left our New Year's resolutions in January, but then I remember the number one resolution at the top of my list, getting comfy. And that's where Bombas comes in. They're bringing serious comfort to all my everyday go-tos. This year, I've been watching the Winter Olympics a lot, and I'm thinking of taking up the luge. And wow, the all-new Bombas sports socks would be perfect for that. They're cushioned where I would theoretically need it most, sweat wicking, and loaded with other tech features that I'm sure would keep me comfy and locked in on the luge track. Even more in my lane, Bombas has me covered for those everyday around-the-house resolutions with the comfiest footwear imaginable. For example, this weekend I'm planning on answering the door in my brand new Saturday suede slip-on shoes. They give the illusion that I'm on the go, with more comfort than you could ever imagine. And underneath it, all the softest base layers that will have you rethinking your whole wardrobe. Bombas underwear and t-shirts are flexible, breathable, and buttery smooth. Premium, everyday go-tos that I won't leave the house without. And here's my favorite part. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchased, one donated, with over 150 million donations, and counting. So head on over to bombas.com slash family 26 and use code family 26 for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash family 26 code family 26 at checkout. Hey grownups, Lee here. See Story Pirates live! Our amazing touring cast, including Eric, will be visiting some East Coast cities this spring to perform some of your favorite songs from the podcast. And they'll take suggestions from kids in the audience to create a brand new story that will only be seen once. Best of all, all of our upcoming shows are on weekends, so no need to worry about school nights or bedtime routines. We'll see you soon in Munhall, Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Ohio, Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Medford, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston, and Richfield, Connecticut. Tickets to all the shows are on sale now at storypirates.com slash live. Wow, I can't believe that in all my travels, I've never come across a gas station like Lucky's. Have you ever seen anything like it, Niminy? No, Rachel, it's incredible. They have something for everyone. And then a bunch of stuff that's like, who's that for? Oh, there's so much merch. And you know I love merch. And I love their mascot, even though I can't really tell what it is. It's a Nutria. Megan, what's a Nutria? Well, Lee, it's a semi-aquatic rodent with large front teeth, like a cross between an otter and a beaver. I know because I had a Nutria co-star in a pilot that never aired or was made. Do we have time to go to the Lucky's water park that's next to the Lucky's dog park? Sorry, Niminy. We gotta get a move on. Let's get a photo with this Lucky statue and we'll head out. Everyone, get in for a selfie. Where's Peter? I haven't seen him since we got here and he ran straight to that sweet and savory pastry section. We were all supposed to meet here at the statue when we were ready to go. He ate too much and told me he was going to go take a nap under his coat in the car. I'll photocrop him in the picture later. Smile, y'all. Cheese! Aw, cute pic. You can tell we're having so much fun. This is exactly the kind of place that the evil robot story pirates could never appreciate. It's just too... human. I was just thinking, yes, Rachel. Speaking of which, we need to get a move on. Come on, let's head over to the ship at fuel pump 326. Yeah, I guess we better go down the road. But I love it here. This giant gas station is terrible. If I could feel emotions, this would give me yuck. Do you agree, Robot Niminy? I agree, Evil Robot Rachel. At first you think it's efficient, but then it turns out it's not efficient at all. Right, Evil Robot Megan? Exactly. Having over 100 fuel pumps at a gas station? Efficient. But selling slippers that look like nutrias at a gas station? Inefficient. Lean in, Evil Robot Story Pirates. Let us get a photo with the lucky statue to remember to never come back to this place. Robot Lee? Where is Robot Peter? His system got overwhelmed and he had to go recharge in the RV. Huddle up evil robots and look like you're having fun. More fun. More fun! Okay. Cheese! Let us away to fuel pump 17. All right, that was a bad. I'm positive. I'm positive. Guys, I'm here. Right where we said to meet up. Outside near the Lucky statue. I said I was going to go take a nap in the car, but I got distracted by the fudge buffet. Guys, I'm here. I know I said I was going to recharge in the trunk of the RV, but it turns out they have charging stations at Lucky's. Guys? Guys? Guys? Oh my gosh, it's Evil Robot Peter! now. I'm the champion! The Story Pirates. Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast, everyone, where we take stories written by kids and turn them into sketch comedy and songs. Where are the rest of the Story Pirates, regular human Story Pirate Peter? I don't know. They thought I was in the car, so they might have left me here. Where are the other evil robot Story Pirates? It looks as if I too have been left behind. Well, at least we're stuck in a place that has all these snacks. Ah, yes, snacks. That's kind of your whole thing, isn't it? Uh, no. I also like full meals. As you know, I do not consume food, so I find it hard to understand you. Oh, that's okay. I find it hard to understand most things. You want some fudge? Hard pass. I need to find a way to get back in touch with the other evil robot story pirates. I saw an old payphone inside at the other end of Lucky's. Want to scope it out? I guess so. It is getting rather hot out here by the statue. Wow. I thought I was impressed the first time I saw Luckies, but it's just as impressive the second time you walk through those automatic doors. Hey, while I take you to the payphone, should we do our first story? A story by a kid? Ha ha! Us evil robot story pirates aren't supposed to like those. But I suppose one wouldn't hurt. Proceed! Uh, okay. Okay, listeners, this first story comes from a student in one of our StoryQuest classrooms in New York. StoryQuest is our completely digital creative writing program for schools. And here's something really amazing. Dylan, that's the author's name, Dylan uses a very special device to speak, which you'll hear right now as he introduces his story. Hello. My name is Dylan. I am six years old. I live in New York. This is my story. The Grouchy Friends. Oh, the sun is shining The birds are chirping And there's not but a single cloud Good morning, Cloud Good morning, Bear It's a beautiful morning for me, Bear. Except... Hello, Bear! My neighbor horse is just too loud. Oh, what a wonderful morning, isn't it, Bear? It reminds me of an old anecdote my uncle's farrier's former college roommate used to tell, or should I say former uni flatmate, since it was when he was doing that semester abroad, and surely I'm ignoring him! Horse, I want to be nice, but you're talking much too much and much too loud for the morning. Oh, well, I gotta tell you, Bear, hearing that makes me a little grouchy. Oh, I'm making you grouchy? You're making me grouchy. You're making me grouchy. You're making me grouchy. You're making me grouchy. Horse. Bear. Horse. Bear. Horse. Bear. Bear. Grouchy friends, we're just a pair of grouchy friends. I'm a horse. I'm a bear. I have lots to say. And I just don't care. Grouchy friends, we're just a pair of grouchy friends. And we'll be neighbors. Buddy! Cows till the end. You know what, horse? Let me apologize. I'm not a morning bear and I'm still opening my eyes. Oh, bear, I understand. Morning noise can be jarring. So from the bottom of my heart, let me say I'm very, very accepting of your apology. Oh. What's wrong? I just thought you were going to say you're sorry. Sorry for what? For being too noisy. I'm not being too noisy. I'm being too noisy for you, which makes it a you problem. Of course. You're making me groachy. You're making me groachy. You're making me groachy. How can we grouchy? Horse. Bear. Horse. Bear. Horse. Bear. Horse. Ah! Grouchy friends, we're just a pair of grouchy friends. Grouchy. You know there are 400,000 blood types for horses. You know that I just don't care. Of courses. Grouchy friends, we're such a pair of grouchy friends. And we'll be neighbors. Buddies. Pals to the end. Stop and break. You know, a horse doesn't have a soft shoe. Ha, ha! Ha! Shuffle off to Buffalo! Stop! Stop! Stop tap dancing! You got four hooves! That's four too many! Ah! Grouchy friends! We're just a pair of grouchy friends! We're so grouchy! Horse, quiet down a bit! What do you say? Oh, bear, you know what's coming! Don't do it! Nay! Grouchy friends! We're such a pair of grouchy friends And we'll be neighbors Buddies Pals till the end Now some might ask why The two of us are friends Well, it's simple You'll always be there On that I can depend Yes, you've got a noisy nature But I guess that's just part of you So let me say Horse That I truly do love you Horse, what are you doing? I'm building a shed Why are you building a shed Oh where else am I going to store all my fireworks jackhammers and my collection of vintage cars with busted mufflers Horse Grouchy friends, we're a pair of grouchy, grouchy friends. At least tell me that you're almost done. Oh, bear, I've barely even begun. Grouchy friends, we're such a pair of grouchy friends. And we'll be neighbors, buddies, pals, till the end. Yes, we're just two ridiculously grouchy. Where am I really that loud? Ouch! See? Just two incredibly ridiculously grouchy friends. Grouchy! I think the fireworks set off all the jackhammers, which in turn started all the cars somehow. Friends! Horse and bear to grouchy friends! Wow, I love that story. Wasn't that great, Evil Robot Peter? I'm not allowed to say. Um, okay. Now, which way is the payphone? It feels like we've been walking through Lucky's gas station for miles, even though it's only been exactly 1.24798 kilometers. Oh, it's back this way through the dried meat section. Oh, doesn't it smell incredible here? I'm picking up aromas that are spicy and sweet and matcha. Oh, they have free samples of jerky. You want to try one? Pass. Okay. Yummy. Jerky is like the fudge of the meat world. Oh, no way. They have Nutria Nuggets samples out too. What are Nutria Nuggets? I don't know. Some kind of exclusive Lucky's snack? You want to try one and see if you can, like, analyze it? No. Oh, come on. They're delicious. I'd love to know the ingredients list so I could think about possibly making them one day. If I say yes, will you take me to the payphone immediately following? Deal. Very well. Here is my first bite. Now analyzing for ingredients. Swallow. Awaiting results. Oh, no. Oh, no! Evil robot me! What's happening? Are you okay? Peter. These nuggets. They are incredible. Is this what snack tastes like? Yes! More, more. Here, have a sample of peanut brittle. Snack me. I'll eat it too. Fantastic! Snack me again. Nutria grain bars? Snack me. Awesome! Snack me again. The Lucky's mascot Nutria mask! Snack me. Oh, actually, I didn't think this one is that. But it's delicious. Whoa, okay. This is so fun, but why are we limiting ourselves to one section of Lucky's when it covers over three square miles? Ha ha, square miles? Do they call it a square miles because they're boring and uncool? Ha ha ha ha, you're hilarious. So are you. Come on, let's go check out the rest of the store. A hair salon in a gas station? That's so inefficient. That's so Lucky's. Look, a sample of Lucky's Salon chocolate mousse. delicious let's go a karaoke bar in a gas station that's so inefficient that's so lucky's look a sample of lucky's karaoke key lime pie delicious let's go an airbrush t-shirt store in a gas station that's so inefficient that's so lucky's look a sample of lucky's t-shirt iced tea Delicious. Would you two want to sit for a t-shirt portrait while you sip your drinks? I'll only charge you half since you got the same face. Yeah! Boy, you two are the closest brothers I've ever seen. What? You think we're brothers? Of course. You have identical faces and builds. And not only that, I can tell you're having a great time in each other's company. There's a closeness there you don't see every day. Now, turn your head a little that way and look out the window for me. Look, I didn't realize there was a water park at Lucky's. Can we go there next, human Peter? I don't know, evil robot me. I don't think you're supposed to get in water. Oh, come on. I wasn't supposed to eat snacks either. And look how well that turned out. And there we go. What do you think? I drew you two on the water slide since you were just talking about it. Cool. I guess you're right, evil robot me. We gotta try that water slide. I mean, look how much fun we're having on this t-shirt. Let's go. What nice boys. I am so very excited, Peter. I've had such an amazing time today, and it's all thanks to you. I've had so much fun, too. You know, I've found almost every kind of snack at Lucky's, but the best thing I found here today wasn't fudge or nuggets, though the nuggets were really good. Really good. The best thing I found at Lucky's wasn't a snack. It's friendship. Heck, it feels weird to call you evil robot me when we've become such good friends. Can I call you something else? How about you call me Nugget, since it was those Nutria Nuggets that began our friendship? Sounds good, Nugget. I've had such a wonderful day. It's made me realize efficiency is overrated. Nugget, do you mean that? You and this huge gas station have shown me something very important. Things don't have to be efficient. To be good. It's fun to be weird and unexpected. It makes me so happy to hear you say that. I cannot wait to tell the other evil robot story pirates what I've learned today. I know they'll change their minds and see the value in things unique and uncommon. And then they'll want to become friends too. And then we can all hang out together on the ship. Yay! But first, let us go down this slide for what will be the first of many times, I'm sure. Here we go! Whee! That was awesome. You want to go again? Yes, again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Nugget? Nugget! No! Speak to me! Reset to factory settings. Uh, that's probably not a bad thing, right? We'll be right back after a few words for the grown-ups. Hey, grownups. A well-built wardrobe is about pieces that work together and hold up over time. That's what Quince does best. Premium materials, thoughtful design, and everyday staples that feel easy to wear and easy to rely on, even as the weather shifts. Quince has the everyday essentials that I love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion, lighter jackets that keep me warm in the changing seasons. The list goes on and on. Quince works directly with top factories and cuts out the middlemen so you are not paying for brand markup. Just quality clothing. Everything's built to hold up to daily wear and still looks good season after season. Plus, they only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. I have this Quince scarf. It's blue, and I've been wearing it for a couple winters in a row. And honestly, I consider it my nice scarf that I wear when I want to impress someone or look professional in some way. But it's sturdy enough that it holds up even when I'm not looking nice, which is a lot of the time. I love it! Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash storypirates for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's quince.com slash storypirates. Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash storypirates. Hey, grownups, today's episode is sponsored by Bombas. You know, people keep asking me about my 2026 resolutions and I'm like, bruh, it's February. I thought we left our New Year's resolutions in January, but then I remember the number one resolution at the top of my list, getting comfy. And that's where Bombas comes in. They're bringing serious comfort to all my everyday go-tos. This year, I've been watching the Winter Olympics a lot and I'm thinking of taking up the luge. and wow, the all-new Bombas sports socks would be perfect for that. They're cushioned where I would theoretically need it most, sweat wicking and loaded with other tech features that I'm sure would keep me comfy and locked in on the luge track. Even more in my lane, Bombas has me covered for those everyday around-the-house resolutions with the comfiest footwear imaginable. For example, this weekend I'm planning on answering the door in my brand new Saturday suede slip-on shoes. They give the illusion that I'm on the go with more comfort than you could ever imagine. And underneath it, all the softest base layers that will have you rethinking your whole wardrobe. Bombas underwear and t-shirts are flexible, breathable, and buttery smooth. Premium, everyday go-tos that I won't leave the house without. And here's my favorite part. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchased, one donated with over 150 million donations and counting. So head on over to bombus.com slash family26 and use code family26 for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash family26 code family26 at checkout. Hey, grownups. Today's episode is sponsored by DoorDash. When the chaos of life hits, DoorDash will be there. As a parent, DoorDash has always been there for me when I needed them most. Like that time on February 12th, 2023, when I ordered one pack of size two diapers and a 9.25 ounce bag of corn chips. because I was desperate for diapers for a baby and also desperate for corn chips. Sure, the diapers were more urgent and luckily DoorDash was ready to help. I got the diapers minutes later and my baby was all set. And I got the corn chips I was craving too. The baby did not get any corn chips. Tiny babies shouldn't eat corn chips because for starters, they don't have any teeth. Real life needs real relief. That's why DoorDash is there for whatever you need, whenever you need it. Reset to factory settings. Reset to factory settings. Oh no, Nuggets! We were having such a fun day! And then you went down the water slide and this happened! Well, to be specific, this didn't happen until we got down the slide and landed in the splash zone. Reset to factory settings. Here, let's get you over to the sun in Lucky's topiary garden to dry you off. Oh, no. I didn't think to purchase a Lucky's brand towel. Um, oh, I guess I'll just use our airbrush t-shirt. There you are. It's Evil Robot Lee and the rest of the Evil Robot story pirates. We've been looking everywhere for you. Me? Why would you be looking everywhere for me? Do you have a secret you need to tell me? Not you. We've been looking for Evil Robot Peter. Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense. Reset to factory settings. Reset to factory settings? What have you done to evil robot story pirate Peter, Peter? First of all, his name is Nugget. And second of all, all I did was show him the best day he's ever had in his entire life. Gasp! We saw everything there was to see at Lucky's, and we had snacks. But he's not supposed to have snacks. Well, Nugget tried them, and he loved them. Why do you keep calling him Nugget? Look, Evil Robot Peter is powering up again. Then he can tell you why he goes by Nugget himself Evil Robot Peter how are you feeling I am well Where are we Nugget We at Lucky Don you remember Nugget Who Lucky What Nugget Don't you want a snack? Here, it's a ham salad sandwich. It's ham salad! But, Human Story Pirate Peter, don't you know? Robots do not eat snacks. No! Why? Wait, I gotta try one last thing. Look! Look at the t-shirt and tell me what you see. I see a bunch of drippy lines and swirls. What? It just looks like a bunch of splatters of paint. All the colors are melting into one another. Oh, no. Water! The airbrush paint must not have been set yet. It's ruined! Ruined! Nugget! Come, evil robots. We'd better get going if we're going to get to StorytellerCon. in an efficient manner. Let's go. Sorry, guys. I don't know what that was all about. Nugget! My best friend! How will I ever get over this? Oh, hey, there's half a muffin in my bathing suit. All right! That's very wet. Peter, there you are. We've been looking everywhere for you. Don't worry. Wet Muffin and I are both here. Peter, we all thought you were asleep under your coat in the car. Turns out your coat was just laying on top of your pillow, which is Peter-shaped. How did you figure out I wasn't there? Megan asked if anybody wanted the rest of her Lucky's surf and turf platter and you didn't speak up. I knew something was off. You love Lobster Tail. We doubled back and thank goodness you're here. We're sorry we left without you, pal. It wasn't very thoughtful to leave you at Lucky's all by yourself. Oh, I wasn't alone. You weren't? Well, who is here with you? I'll have to tell you another time, Rachel, because that's all your gun nugget from me today. That's fine. I'm sure you're tired after spending all day. Evil Robot Peter and I hung out, and we became lifelong friends and ate snacks and went down the water slide together and even got a T-shirt together, but he had some wiring problems and totally forgot all about it once he powered up again. I think someone's had a little too much fudge. How about we get you some water, buddy? Ooh, I love water. And maybe we can do another story while we walk to Lucky's water section? Yeah! And here's the author to introduce it. Hi, I'm Wilder. I am nine years old and I live in New York. This is my story, The Girl Who Never Fell Asleep. That was the Kit Kat Trio with croissant French toast and a set of beans. Groovy! And what a great beat to help me brush my teeth. Amy? Yeah, Mom? It's almost 9 o'clock. Are you ready for bed? Yeah. My teeth are brushed, my pajamas are on, and they're already playing my wind-down hour on my favorite radio station. It's coming up on the 9 o'clock hour, so we're going to switch to something a little slower. Here's Renee Polyester with Insomnia. The radio? Honey, if you really want to fall asleep, everybody knows you should weave a basket with an otter. Mom, no! You're not going to do what you always do, which has come up with these outrageous solutions to everyday problems. Amy, what are you saying? I never do that. Mom, that's kind of your whole thing. Whole thing, Amy. I don't have a whole thing. Listen to you. No, enough of this. It's time for bed. Good night, Mom. Good night, Amy. Okay, tucked into bed. Let me just adjust my radio. It's 9.15 p.m. We're continuing our wind-down hour with some soothing night music. Here's Lil' Tater Tot with Restless. Guess I have nothing left to do but fall asleep. Here I go. In three, two, one. All right. That didn't seem to work. Here I go. Off to Betty Bye. In three, two, one. Still awake. Hope all you sleepless Susies and Steves out there are enjoying this music. I'm not a sleepless Susie! Amy, you still awake in here? Yeah, Mom. I'm just not falling asleep like I usually do. Did you try doing Morse code with lightning bugs? Morse code with lightning bugs? Yes. Let's open your curtains to see if they're out tonight. Mom, that's wild. You have to acknowledge that's wild. I don't have to do any such thing. Try it. No thanks. I have my own methods. Okay, good night, dear. Time to try one of my old methods, reading a boring book. Let's see what we have in the old boring book pile. A history of long roads, 1,000 ways to say beige. Ah, here we are, Humphrey's complete list of lists. Now that's the ticket. I'm sure I'll read this and be asleep in no time. I've read through all the lists in the book, including the long list of acknowledgments, which, where was your editor on that one, Humphrey? But it's no use. I'm still awake. It's 9.50 and we're getting into our wind-down hour with another slow-tempo song. Here's Dream Captain and the Night Stars with I Just Can't Sleep. The titles of these songs. So this goes out to all you awake Adams and Amys out there. I am an awake Amy. To help you fall asleep. All right. Ugh! Amy, still awake? Yeah, Mom. Did you try knitting? I could see that. With some spiders? Mom, knitting? Fine. Knitting with spiders? That's wild. Please acknowledge that's wild. Okay, fine. But sometimes wild works. Mom, no. I have another idea. One that's sure to work. Okay. All right. Reading a boring book didn't work. Let me try cuddling with my favorite stuffy, Mr. Reindeer. Hmm. It's 10 p.m. and our wind-down hour continues with Nina No Sleep and her hit, Watching the Clock Because Falling Asleep Feels Impossible Right Now. Hear that, Mr. Reindeer? Just listen to that soothing music to lull us to sleep. Hope this song is hitting all the right notes for those restless Mr. Reindeers and their anxious Amy owners out there. Okay, you heard that, Mr. Reindeer, right? Still awake in here. Mom, I can't fall asleep. And you entering every few minutes isn't helping either. Oh, Amy, I know you didn't want to try any of my suggestions, but have you tried snuggling your favorite stuffy, Mr. Reindeer? Yes. Okay, what about reading a book? I read a boring book. Oh, which one? Paint Drys by Nelson Nod, A History of Blinks by Snooze and Duke, or Sheep and How to Count Them by Winkin' and Blinkin'? I read Humphrey's complete list of lists. Oh, that's a good one. But it didn't work. What should I do? And don't say something wild. Got it. Okay. Okay. How about... Calling an owl. What? Calling an owl. Come again? Calling an owl. Mom! I know. I know. It sounds wild, but what can it hurt to try at this point? Okay, Mom. Fine. Let's call an owl. How do we do that anyway? Do you have an owl's number or something? I do. Right here. What? Do you want to tell me how you got this? Not really Okay How's that going to help? Trust me What? Trust me What was that now? Trust me Okay, fine, I trust you What do I say? I believe it's customary to say hello Mom Amy, you're tired, just give it a try Here's the phone Here goes nothing Hello? Mrs. or Mr. Owl? What did they say? Well, Mom, what they said was... Huh. Would you look at that? Mom was right. The end! Huh? Mom! Oh, sorry. The end. And now, Lise speaks with the author. Wilder, you wrote The Girl Who Never Fell Asleep. Yes. Can you tell me how you came up with the idea for that story? So my friends were writing stories at school, and I was like, well, I guess I'll write my own. And I was just like, girl, sleep. The girl who never fell asleep. And just like whatever popped into my mind, I just found a way to add it into the story. Oh, that's so cool. Were you sleepy at the time? Is that why you were thinking about sleep? That's so funny. The part in your story with the owl made me laugh out loud when I got to it. Yeah, I was just like, hmm, what? Like, I just thought of owl, big bird, I don't know. I was just thinking about birds and I was like, owl. What did the mom think was going to happen when you called the owl? And like, why did it work so fast? I guess the owl has sleeping powers. Do you ever have trouble falling asleep yourself? Yes, a lot of it. Do you have any routines or anything that you try to help you fall asleep? So we have this like tuning fork sort of and it's really calming because it's like you bang it against your hand or your thigh and then it causes a vibration and you put it up to your head and it's really calming. Whoa. Oh. And, yeah. That's amazing. I've never heard about that before. What does it feel like? I don't know. Like, sort of like a bee on your head, but it doesn't hurt. Like a nice bee? Yes. Like a bee who wishes they were an owl. Mm-hmm. Do you have, like, a stuffed animal that you sleep with like Amy does? No. No, I've tried it, but I always end up losing my stuffies because I'm very weird when I sleep. Sometimes I talk and say like the weirdest things ever. Really? Like I once asked my dad for a, I just said, give me that with my eyes closed. And I, yeah, and he gave me a pillow and then I just threw it on the floor. and I once said to my mom, we need to save the monkey. And she was like, okay, we can save the monkey. And I was like, but no, there are two. Do you remember that at all? No. Do you ever get out of bed while you're asleep or do you just talk? I used to sometimes like wake up and get a snack, but now I don't do that. I don't really wake up in the night anymore. And did you save the monkeys? Did you end up saving both of them? I don't know. Oh, no. Well, you got to get back into that dream tonight so we can find out. Yeah. Well, Wilder, it was really fun to chat with you. Thank you so much for letting us perform your story. And I have a feeling I'm going to fall right to sleep tonight. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. And Peter and I will be back to talk about more stories written by kids after a few words for the grownups. Hey, grownups. Lee here. See Story Pirates live. Our amazing touring cast, including Eric, will be visiting some East Coast cities this spring to perform some of your favorite songs from the podcast. And they'll take suggestions from kids in the audience to create a brand new story that will only be seen once. Best of all, all of our upcoming shows are on weekends, so no need to worry about school nights or bedtime routines. We'll see you soon in Munhall, Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Ohio, Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Medford, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston, and Ridgefield, Connecticut. Tickets to all the shows are on sale now at storypirates.com slash live. Welcome back to Story Love, where we take stories written by kids and we read them and talk about them. Hello, Peter. Hello, Lee. I'm going to go ahead and read our first story, if that's okay with you. I can't wait! Wow. All right. Sorry. Okay. This story was written by a six-year-old from Washington named Sammy, and Sammy's story is called The Five Cars. Five cars were at the start line. Their names were called Rusty Radar Crackerinner Crackerer Crackerer Yes Cracker Cracker Cracker Boss House. Super Slinker. And Donker Zonker. And then, Super Slinker skidded off the side with Rusty Radar was in first. until he broke his radar. Uh-oh. Oh, that's why you can't let your radar get rusty. Maintenance. He stopped. Then cracker-er popped a tire. Cracker-er-er. Cracker-er popped a tire. And that he got repaired and skidded into Donker Zonker. And Boss House won the race. Impressive. At the end. I love. instead of the end. There's no the end. It's just impressive. Impressive. In case you were wondering. I love this story. It's like so cinematic. I can see all the cars racing. I love a race story. I mean, obviously, the names. Cracker River. Cracker. Cracker. Er. Cracker River. Cracker River. Cracker River. Bus House. No, it's B-A-S House Boss House Super Slinker And Donker Zonker Yeah, it's like What's your favorite of those? Oh, Donker Zonker Really? Oh, yeah I'm a Cracker River guy I mean Two very different reasons Yeah Cracker River is great Because of how hard it is to say Donker Zonker is great Because of how easy it is to say That's true And it's very, very fun Mm-hmm It's impressive What do you think No, I just like... Impressive. Impressive. Super slinker. Now, what do you see when you hear the word super slinker? A slinky. On wheels or just like it moves like a slinky? Oh, yeah, it could be going... And it warms out. It's like a slinky that's on both ends. And as it revs up, it just jiggles. And then it backs up a little. Amazing. What an image. I mean, now that we've opened the door to these not being necessarily cars, what do you think cracker-er-er is? It's somebody who's trying to talk while eating a lot of crackers. Cracker-er-er-er-er. Okay. Saltines. And zonker-donker. Donker-zonker. Sorry. Donker-zonker. I picture a donkey dressed as a clown just going, ha-ha. Oh, interesting. Sammy, thank you so much for giving us the word cracker-er-er. Cracker-er-er. And for writing this incredible story. Peter, would you read the next one? I would love to. Lee, this next story comes to us from a nine-year-old from California named Ellen. The Thing I Lost. Once there was a man named Bobby. He almost never loses things. One day, he lost his cat. Bobby searched everywhere but couldn't find his cat. So he finally decided to retrace his steps. Smart. But he had to get his cat back in 30 minutes. Four minutes later. Bobby was on the beach. He walked for a while and then bumped into a very sunburned man. Bobby said, have you seen my cat? The man said, no, have you seen my sunscreen? No, sorry, said Bobby and walked away six minutes later. Then Bobby was in France. He climbed to the top of the Eiffel Tower and met a woman. Hi, have you seen my cat? No, have you seen my sunglasses? Asked the woman. No, sorry, Bobby said back, then climbed back down the Eiffel Tower. Ten minutes later, Bobby was in a random place in Texas. Howdy there, human, said a random cowboy. Uh, hi, said Bobby back. Are you looking for your cat, said the random cowboy. Yeah, how did you know, asked Bobby. I can read minds. Anyways, check in your pocket, said the random cowboy. Okay, said Bobby. He checked his pocket. Ha ha! Yelled Bobby Here it is! My camera arm toaster I still have ten minutes left so I better get going Thanks random cowboy Seven minutes later Then Bobby was home He could finally set up his camera arm toaster The end This story has one of the greatest reveals I've ever seen in a story There's like, you have no idea it's coming but for those of you who couldn't figure it out, CAT stands for C-A-T, camera arm toaster. I didn't get it! You didn't get that? No! That's CAT! I thought the joke was is that he always forgets things. Like, he never loses things, but in the end, he's forgetful. He forgets what he's looking for. No, he's looking for his camera arm toaster, his CAT. Oh, Ellen, you're so much smarter than I am. It's genius. Is there significance to the fact that everybody, But like thematically, the fact that everybody he meets is also missing something. Do we all move through the world sort of missing something? There seems to be also a theme of the sun. At least through the first person is sunburned. The second person needs their sunglasses. And although the cowboy, they ride into the sunset. Cowboys do do that. Yeah. Yeah. There is a lot of sun in Texas. And so I don't know if this was intended But I was like what does that mean What is that theme I don't know But thank you for Avoiding my question And introducing a new one You're very welcome I'm great at that Ellen Fantastic story my friend Thank you so much for sending it in Okay here's our final story From Henry a six year old in Rhode Island here is popcorn robot egg. This is so good. One morning, a farmer checks on his chicken eggs. He finds that one of them is a robot egg. The egg opens, and inside is a diamond crystal. The eggshell transforms around the diamond and becomes a human robot, and the diamond becomes his heart. Wow. The robot man shoots golden tickets out of himself because he is also a ticket-making factory. People start to find the tickets on the ground. They show them to the news and learn the ticket gets them a free trip to Las Vegas. Oh. But the tickets are magic and turn the people who found them into robots, too. Uh-oh. Once they get to Las Vegas, they start covering the city in popcorn. Ugh. The human light bulb, who got his powers in a lightning storm created by another superhero, Lightning Strike, 200 years ago. Wow. Showed up. he created a thundercloud that zapped the robots burying the city and turned them back into humans. He zapped the popcorn to clean the city. He also zapped the robot man that came from the egg who fell apart. His diamond crystal heart was put in the museum and the parts of the robot were used to make new robots. The new robots, along with the farmer, helped repair the city and protect it from then on. Everyone lived happily ever after the end. Whoa. Lee, just the image, the imagery at the very beginning where a farmer's like, good morning, chickens. And suddenly there's an egg and it goes, diamond. And then it goes, reforms into a person with, I imagine the diamond heart still sort of sparkling through its chest is beautiful. Really, really well done by Henry. The descriptive language that Henry's using is so good. You know, this is like one of these stories that we get where there's like a million crazy details. And sometimes those stories don't always hang together. But somehow this one is so skillfully written by Henry that I managed to, like the details don't feel superfluous at all. Yes. They feel, everything feels really cohesive, really justified. The backstory of the human light bulb feels like I really understand where this superhero came from. There's a history of superheroes in this world. Right. The origin of the Las Vegas disaster, just like perfectly, we get there. It's not just like Las Vegas was covered in popcorn. It's like, here, we're going to start at the beginning. and it's super efficient in the way that they give all these backstories to the event to the characters it's just beautifully done and it feels right that a diamond hearted evil robot would go to Las Vegas and so the robot is like I shall use the media to get the word out and make a spectacle of it and then take us to the most spectacular city in the country Las Vegas my diamond heart demands the most spectacular location for my things. And I will bury you in the most spectacular treat there is. Popcorn! Incredible. Really fantastic story, Henry. Thank you for sending it in. To read all of today's Story Love stories, just head to storypirates.com. And guess what? Grownups, you can find an even longer version of today's Story Love on YouTube. And Grownups, Story Love isn't just the name of a segment on our show. It's also the name of our incredible corporate volunteer program. To find out more about StoryLove, our digital creative writing program, StoryQuest, or our nonprofit arm, StoryPirates Changemakers, check out the show notes for links. That's it for today's episode. Thanks to today's authors, Dylan and Wilder. And guess what? It is not too late to send us your stories. We respond to every single story we receive. Grownups, your link to submit stories is in the show notes for today's episode. We'll be back next week with another brand new episode. Until then, stay creative and stay kind. Bye! The Story Pirates Podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios. Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka This episode was produced by Our head writer is Peter McNerney Staff writers are Megan O'Neill and Alexis Simpson And contributing writing by Lee Overtree Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin. Special guests, Jeff Hiller and Anna Solo. This episode features performances by Chris Ferry, Eric Gerson, Peter McNerney, Joshua Nassar, Megan O'Neill, Lee Overtree, Sasha Reckler, Rachel Winitsky, and Nimini Ware. The Grouchy Friends was written and produced by Eric Gerson. Dear Nugget, hi, it's Peter. How are you? I'm fine. Things on the ship have been pretty much the same lately. Rolo did invent a new kind of bean. No one is willing to try it yet. Except me, though. I think it tastes like a normal bean. I don't get what the big deal is. Well, that's it, I guess. I miss you, Nugget. I hope you're doing well. even though you're back to being a regular, evil, robot story pirate. Your friend, Peter. Oh, hey, Peter. Oh, hey, Lee. Whatcha, whatcha doing? Just writing a letter to a friend. Cool. I'm about to head to the ship post office. Want me to mail it for you? No, that's okay. I'll just put it in this pile with the others. Whoa, that's a huge pile of unmailed letters. It sure is. Um, hey, I found some old beef jerky under one of the car seats. You want it? Do I want old beef jerky? Yes, I do! This is the best day ever! Oh, it's really old. What was I doing?