[Tavern Tales] Mealwalkers and the Crystal Shards - Ep 00 - Shuffle Off this Portal Coil

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Felicitations, my foul-smelling friends, and welcome to Tavern Tales. This is when we snag a few barstools in the sticky dragon tavern and share a shorter, smellier story by a role-playing enrolling dyes with friends. I'm your dungeon master, Mike Erisinger, and today we're going to be playing through an adventure of written and we'll be using an old-school style RPG called Naive. But before we get too far into the tale, I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow! I wasn't prepared for an arrow. I'm always prepared for an arrow. For this episode. With my shield and I catch it. No, it's very, very good. You gain two cool points. Anyway, the episode is zero. This question is in your opinion, you, the player, what quality should every adventurer have? Oh, do we need a role for this? Introduce yourselves. Do you need a role for this? Oh, right. We could roll. I got a 20. I'm not kidding. Come on, Barbara. A-japa-japa. Ten. I also got a ten. I got a eight. Man, just second role is 17. My second role is a one. All right, so I got Barb, Chris, Ben Blaine. Yes. Go for it, Barb. So the one quality every adventurer should have? Yeah. Ingenuity. Why? Because it's good to be ingenuity. It could be ingenuous. Ingenuity. I think just trying to figure out solutions to problems in a creative way and maybe in a way that thinks outside the box is, I think, very helpful, especially when the typical solutions might not be very obvious. And I think also it makes it a little bit more fun as well. Indeed. You know what? Take two more cool points. Guys, Barbara's beating us. Real quick. What is your name that you just spoke? Me? Yeah, you. I was like, I forgot to introduce myself. Hello, everyone. I'm Barbara Duncan-Man, playing TBD. Cool. All right. Next, we got Chris. Hi. Hi. I'm Chris Demaris with zero cool points. This is going to say. And also playing, I think also playing TBD. So me and Barbara might need to rework my character. And a quality that every adventure should have is the ability to go long periods of time without going to the bathroom eating or sleeping. We never covered that. Stinky dragon because I can we played a lot of D&D and games and very few times to we stopped down. Well, in the adventure in real life, we do it all the time. We're like body breaks, old, old nursing home patients who go to the bathroom all the time. But in a game, we very rarely stop to go take body breaks. It's true. Just write down ignore bodily needs. An adventure needs a catheter. Or a bedpan. Cool. Thanks, Chris. On to BAM. Hello, everybody. My name is Ben Ernst. I am often one of the dungeon masters behind the dungeon master who just likes to sit in recordings and make little fun jokes. Try to get gustal laugh. But this week, this episode, I'm going to be playing an adventure named TBD version three and really quickly, let me just get this out of the way. Oh my God, I can't believe Mike has shot me with an arrow. You guys do this every other week. You get used to it. I was like, where is Ben going? He's rolled away. Okay, sorry. I'm back. Yeah, a quality that every adventure needs, I feel like, is the ability to improvise. Look, everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. And I feel like if you're an adventure, you got to be ready for a monster. A goblin to jump out of nowhere and punching the face. It happens so often. You see it. Plus, improvisation is funny. So, need that on a little adventure. So true, Bestie. Exactly. Even saying the word improvisation is fun. Proposition. Cool. Thanks, man. A little bit of improvisation and ingenuity. Exactly. And ignoring bodily needs. Blame. Hello, I'm Blaine Gibson. I play characters on the show. And today I'll be playing TBA to be announced. Yes. Yes. Yes. And I think that every adventure needs a spine, not like the skeletal spine, but like strengthen character. Gustos. Yeah. Like clarity of vision. What they need to do and some behind it to get it done. You know? Yeah. I wonder if anybody's ever called him Gusto Volo. He does have a lot of gusto. Yes, though. Gustago. He's not here. I'm going to start calling him Gusto, Sirola and see if he notices. Cool. Well, thank you all for taking those arrows with, you know, gumption and gusto. Without going to the bathroom. Yeah, exactly. All those things. Very ingenuous, very improvisation, old and sitting up straight with our spines. Speak for yourself. A lot happened when I got hit by that arrow. Okay. I might have went myself a little bit, but I can handle that after recording. Well, we'll divvy at the cool points later. All right. Let's move on to we're going to make some characters today and this game called Nav. So everybody's got character sheets in front of them. If you want to follow along, you need to have a book audience member. So if you want to go by a Nav book, you can do that. There might be a like a quick start sheet out there. I'm not sure, but you can find character sheets for free online. So first things first on your character sheet. We're going to start with ability scores similar to D&D. There's six ability scores just like D&D strength, X, Con, intelligence, wisdom and charisma. They're divvied out a little bit differently with like what they're meant to do in the game, not too differently. But the first thing is we're going to record those scores. So you're going to take all the scores are just modifiers. There's no like a score and then a modifier based on that score. So it's just modifiers. So you're going to add three points to any of like any of those six scores. So you can roll dice. They recommend they say you can roll dice like throw roll 3D sixes and then depend on what the D6 is. That's the score. That's the ability that you're adding your 1.2. Okay. So for instance, they give an example like three five five is what they rolled. It means that Con will get one whiz will get one and all the other scores have zero or sorry whiz has two and only scores have zero. Interesting. I'm going to get a pencil because I just realized that I'm probably going to be marking things out remarking things in. Yes. I don't recommend that question about that. So you said choose three. So like let's say I want to give strength, sincerity and constitution. Those scores. So I roll 3D sixes. I let's say I get a three five and five. I give a three five and five to whatever those three I want. No, no, no. Those are just the dice are just to determine which score you're going to add 1.2. So you have three points total that you're going to divvy out. It's like assigning a dice dice number to one of those scores and everything else is here. One of those abilities. So it's just one one one one on on three scores and then zero zero zero on the other three. Okay. Blaine reporting back in. I got constitution intelligence and wisdom. So you're saying we roll to see where we put them. You can or you can just choose. I like you know, Micah full disclosure. I'm going to do everything by chance. We're going to see what happens. We're going to see what where the dice take me. I personally enjoy that. Some people don't. Some people like to strategize and like kind of work out and make it make sense. I love the randomness of making a character sometimes. Is there a bigot scores? Yeah. I got a six, a three, and a four. So I put a one in charisma, constitution and intelligence. I hate Ben. I got the exact same three as you did. Yeah. TVB. One of you guys are the same name. TVB. TVTWings. I got to have three a one and a one. So that would be strengths and then two strengths and one constitution. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Chris is playing an idiot. All right. Next thing is careers. So you can roll a D 100 twice or pick two careers from the list that I've given you all, which is just in the book. There's a list of 100 careers. Each of those careers are very like all over the place of kind of medieval times and they each come with I think all them three or four items in their listing. You can add those items to your inventory. Okay. You guys all rolling for this? Yeah. I'm going to roll. I was hoping to have, I don't know how to do a D 100 with the single. I did. You can roll two tens. I'm a pit fighter. You take the one that's with the double dice and the one with the single dice. Uh-huh. Both look like D 100s. Okay. Yeah. All right. One looks like a D 100 like has 60, 50, 40 on it and then the other one has just zero one, two, three, four. You roll both of those. Right. You at the tens as the tens and the one is the one. So like, I've learned in so much today. All right. So Chris, you're a pit fighter. I am a I have to look what that says. Got mine. I am a cut purse. You're old twice. It cut. Wait, oh, what do we do the second roll for? You're adding two careers together. Two careers. Oh, we get two careers. Oh, Chris, much like today's economy, you need two jobs to get by. Yeah. So true. You're side gig. I'm a pit fighter slash Uber driver. I am a often known career watchman and hermit. Oh, that's nice. I just imagine I live at the top of like a lighthouse on the coast, watching ships come in, telling people to leave me alone. Well, let me give you this one. I am a hunter sculptor. Nice. Whoa. Is that like a taxidermist? I could be. That could be. That could be. I'm a cut purse and investigator. Oh, that's actually kind of cool. I'm a pit fighter baker. A fighter baker. Pit fighter. Oh, pit fighter baker. Baker. Okay, wait, hold on. Mati, come for shoes. Please come in. Let me make you some bread and then come down to my basement where we have people beating each other to death. Oh, my God. Awesome. So yeah, make sure you guys you'll write down those items in each of those careers and add them to your inventory. You have 10 slots plus your con. So if you I think the only person that had con was Chris maybe. I also had con. Yeah. You also had con. Okay, you guys had con as well. I did as well. Con intelligence. Then yeah, you can add as many additional items. And you put it in the items here and like the careers up here. Yeah. Let me see my paper. Okay. Do. Cool. I'm learning. Yeah. So you just write down each of the three. So it'd be six total items that we have. Exactly. Yeah. I think all of them have like three maybe four on some of them. I can't remember. So that's that. Your careers are also like besides common knowledge in the game are things that you're knowledgeable about. So if there's anything that comes, becomes relevant in the game that you're like they're fighting in a club or something like that or they're there's boats near. I don't know. Then you can like I'll give you that knowledge for free. Like you don't have the role for that. Oh cool. Generally, there's no like real knowledge checks in this game. It's like you know it or you don't or you find out you figure out how to find it out. That's generally how it goes. So next thing is you are going to add more things to your inventory. So you can carry three D6 times 10. So you're all 3D6 add a zero to it. That's how many coins. You get in the in your inventory. You get two rations. You get a 50 foot rope. Two torches. And this is all going in our items. Yeah. So if we have two torches with that count as two items or like a single item slot with the two. Great question, Bob. It is a good question. They say in the game that if it can fit in your hand, if multiple small items can fit in your hand, then it counts as one slot. I'm going to say it counts. It needs two slots because you have to have a hold of torch with like you need a hand. You can do the juggling thing. You can do the juggling thing. I'm willing to be flexible if you if you max out on your items in this first section. But but generally that's kind of how it works is if you and you can drop a torch, you don't have to have two torches. And the next thing is any armor piece or weapons. And I've given you a list of those as well, I believe, and a quiver of 20 euros. So that's everything that you can add to your inventory. You don't have to have all those things, but those are just all free things you can add into your inventory. Under armor pieces and weapons. Okay. So is our coins are in our items as well? Up to 500. Yes. Because 500 coins takes up a slot. Yeah. I've got 130 coins. Nice. Oh, I got 110. Okay. I was going to say I don't think I'm a very good purse cutter. Okay. Hold on. Barbara, I also got 110 coins. Oh, no. Are we creating this? Are we going to be twins? Oh, what's happening here? I think we probably should we should play twins. That'd be funny. So I have a 120 gold. So I can pick that. What whatever I want with that. No, you don't just add that to your inventory. Everything else is free. All these items are free. Oh, my goodness. So I get a one ahead and that's how much coin you have to like to use to spend on just in the game. So trying to find the career. Yeah, looks like shield, helmet, gambeson. Yeah. What's going on? Mail shirt, breastplate, armplate, legplate. Those are free. I guess they just take up one spot. Yeah. Okay. Up to your total I would assume. Up to your total. I feel like it slots like I don't have gamblers in it. I think I need at least a mail shirt. I'm going to take some mail shirt. So like 500 C is 500. It's five hundred. Don't worry about the price. Oh, okay. That's just for if you're buying it in world. We're just talking about Chris. You should buy a you should buy a war horse. I think that'd be really smart. I think okay. So wisdom is the range of tax is denoted by wisdom, right? So I have one point of wisdom. I think I might invest in I'm not going to get a bone arrow because that sounds like somebody we know. But I think I'm going to get a sling. Okay. You can also roll for it if you want. That's fair. Because I did and I got a trident. Nice. Whoa. What am I? I'm a hunter sculptor with a trident. You like survived Atlantis and you want to roam the drylands now. You stow fish and you make those little like Billy Bass wall mounts that sing to you. Oh. So you rolled. Okay. Now I see I finally found the equipment. So you rolled the D-100 for your weapon. Yeah. I shall do the same. And if it's if it requires like in your mind if it requires two hands like I tried in, you probably could do one hand, but typically if you're going to stab something, it's going to be two handed. What's a cuckrey? I actually don't know. Spell it KUKRI. It's like a national weapon of Nepal. Oh, it's like a knife. Kind of like that thing that chip had for a minute. It's like a curved knife. Like a curved blade. Yeah. It makes sense for a pit fighter slash baker. Yeah. Do a chain whip. How do we determine our AC again? So armor class is however many armor pieces you have. So if you have a helmet, shelled, you know, gammason, whatever it is, each of those gives you an extra armor point. Okay. So you add a leavens you're starting and you add armor points to that. And that becomes your AC. And those you guys do multiple weapons. Only if it's one handed. You can have multiple weapons as long as you have the item slots up to you. Okay. And then do the armor pieces also go on our item slot. Okay. Whoa. Whoa. This guy, the like our whip and wine jug. Those are stored treasure items. What are those? No, those are item slots. Okay. Everything so far is item slots. I have a question for you, Michael. Whenever you have them, go for it. So under my list of career items, I have a lot of what I would call worthless items. Do I have to include those on my sheet or am I I can swap those in and out? What do you like what do you use calling useless? Well, for instance, as a I think it was hermit. I have the ability to carry fungi with me. Uh-huh. And while I'm a fungi, I do not want to carry fungi. So I would like to get rid of the fungi on my character sheet and swap it out with something way more useful. Like what? I don't know, maybe like right now I'm I think I'm completely naked. I don't have any armor whatsoever, but I have full item slots. So oh, I see maybe like a, you know, a breastplate or male male. Yeah, you can do that. You can switch the side out. All right. I think that'll that'll complete my list of things. But when it comes time to you need fungus and you don't have it, you don't complain to me. I'm going to regret that. The eating crow. I'm going to remind you to put that in the game just because you said that. Screw Ben with mushrooms. So we could pick more than one weapon to have? Yeah, as long as you have the slot. Okay, cool. Okay. I think I'm about there. I have a couple of weapons, couple items. I got a little bit of armor. I still have one, two, three, four, five spots open. So I guess I could probably finish that up with more armor if I wanted. And you might have, to keep in mind, like you might collect stuff on your way. So if you have open item slots, otherwise you'll have the drop stuff. I'm going to give myself three open item, two open item slots, just because like some of this stuff, I'm going to drop a torch probably. I don't think I need my sculptor calipers personally. Is it man catcher two handed? You think that's probably a two handed weapon. I'm sorry, what? So if I'm a man catcher, if I rolled, I was like a net. It's kind of like a, it's weird looking thing. Oh, like a, like a, like a net, like a staff of the hoop or something like that. Yeah. But like that's a two handed weapon. So if I don't, I, I, I could just do two one handed weapons, right? Oh, I see it. Wow, that thing's, that thing's crazy. Yeah, it's kind of, it's like a long stick comes out like a hoop that's broken. And then it has spikes on it on the inside to like put around someone's neck. Oh, it's like a dog catcher's thing, but worse. If you, yeah, if you want to trade one out, you can and just do two one handed. But keep in mind that like it changes the jam, damage dice. If that matters with the, I guess, how do we, how do we know if it's two or one handed? That's right above. Because I have a, oh, like if, it just use your imagination. If it's like a big axe or something like that, it's going to be two handed. If it's a sword that's like a short sword, it's going to be one handed, you know, long sword to hand just typical like the and the kind of rules. Dagger. I have a chain whip. And then I have a sestus, which is like, basically like brass knuckles, heavy duty gloves that you can punch people with. Blaine, that's what I rolled. Sestus? Yeah, I got a sestus and I got a spear. Yeah, I think like as long as you, we're gladators, can use one hand with it. Then I'm fine with that. You just roll the one handed damage die. Okay. Okay. And then do you say we need to add clothes as well? You don't need to worry about clothes. You can just tell me what you're wearing. Okay. I'm seeing. I think at this point, I've got my weapons, I've got some items where there are any other optional items that we could try to acquire. In the games that just like, wow, we played. And then you can, if you want to trade out like Bended, you can. But okay. And then I think other than that, it's just building up my armor then. Yeah. And I didn't realize this, but your max item slots is your is 10 plus your constitution. Correct. So if you have zero constitution, you have 10 slots. 10 slots or 11 with you have constitution, like one point and constitution or two points of Eve 12. Right. I have 11 spots. So I already need to start dropping things. I didn't realize I was like, I got to 11 items and I was like, man, we have 20 slots. Like there's so much room. And then I looked up there and I went, oh, I'm done. Yeah. I'm going to drop a torch to drop one torch. Yeah. Do I need the 50 foot rope? Yes. My opinion rope is always handy. I don't know. Okay. Could you also go through those things that we already have that you mentioned the two torches, the rope and what else? Yes. Give me two seconds. I can't. Sorry. Wait. Character creation is there. Okay. You can have your coins, two rations, rope, two torches, any armor pieces or weapons you want, a quiver of 20 arrows. Definitely don't need the quiver. So, so, it's up Chris. But so we get all those things, but we can only hold. So I have a constitution of one. So 11 items. Correct. So you got to pick and choose what you want to have. One thing we haven't done yet is hit points. You have D6. Roll that. That's your maximum hit points. That's, whoa. We are squishy. Starting at level one. Yep. Okay. I rolled a five. Okay. Also, my guy has a knife built into his thing. Is that that's considered a weapon, writers? That like a utilitarian knife, that utility knife for other. A knife built into his like his career? Yeah. As a, as a per a cut purse. Okay. That'd be an item. You can typically use it as like and as it meant to be used. But I mean, if you can use it as a weapon, go for it. Okay. Great. I mean, Blaine's cut purse knife and Chris's cuckoo. We're really setting up for a whole. That's not a knife. This is a knife. All right. I got all my items sorted. 11 items. Man, that was hard. And then I'm rolling for hit points. It should help points. So D6. D6. All right. Heat point five. All right. I can't get over how cool some of these SESTIS designs look when you Google SESTIS. Ben, do you have, it reminds me of shredder. Yeah. Ben, do you have hit points yet? I do. I have a solid four. No, I'm sorry. Did you also roll four? We're both raising our hands. Now five. I am the stronger twin. The first one, twin. How you doing, Chris? I'm confused. Yeah, always. I don't think my character should have a wine jug because still it items like, do I need a wine jug or an hour glass? We know from previous campaigns, Chris likes to hoard. And if this game mechanic has like a specifically limits your item slots inventory, I've been feeling every five minutes we're going to have to stop and be like, all right, so Chris needs to sort through his pack and figure out what he wants to get rid of. If this were a video game, we would just see items dropping from his character. I'm not going to be. And then being picked back up. A trail. And then being dropping it on a trail. I'm not. Heroes and Quivers is that those are two separate items. Quiver of arrows is one item. Do you have a bow? Quiver of arrows. But the bow is separate. Okay. Oh, separate. Yeah. I need a bro. Well, do you have a bow though, Chris? I guess I have a whip. I don't need a, maybe I don't need. I have a whip. Okay. I don't think any of us have ranged weapons. I will say that. But yeah, that's what we rolled. So, you know, guess you're throwing stuff. And I do have a large block and a rolling pin. Oh, I'm okay. I'm losing one of my, I'm just going to stick with the cookery and a rolling pin as my weapon. Okay. Cool. Love it. Did you roll your hit points yet, Chris? Roll a D6. I believe in you. Four. I'm bad. All right. Chris, you're putting my fun guy in your inventory. Can we remove something? I'll make room. It's like a mule putting inside of him. It's weird. The whip won't save him my inventory. Oh, you're doing it on. So are you saying the whip is saying anything for me? Hey, now watch me with you. Stop it. All of you. All right. So, Chris got hit points. You got your armor class calculated. Got all your item slots. Should be like 10 to 11ish. Get your careers marked. Last thing is, if you got all that, is name and description of your character. If you want, I've provided some random tables for names on that notion page. D100 stuff. Otherwise, you can come up with it on the spot here. Oh, man. This is going to be fun. Do we not even choose a class? Careers is basically your class. It's a classless game. It's true. Interesting. This changes everything. But you can flavor your character to be whatever. Your careers don't have to be current. That could be something you've done in the past, or they could be right now, or they could be whatever you want to flavor it to. It's a very open-ended game. I'm doing that. One, nine, yeah. Fox. What's all right? Fox? Fox. Fox? Are you going to surname as well? These look like all. Oh, there are surnames. Never mind. It's like Share, plain. Just the one. There's a combination you can do combined surname, like first syllable assiduals sort of thing. Oh, I love that. You're the guy from your David the Coveneys character from X Files. Foxmolder. Oh, God. Fox. Claude fell. Cool. Are you guys rolling personalities as well? Can't if you want to. Otherwise, you can make it up. You can kind of another fun way to do it in game if you're up for this is just to figure it out as long as you go. I'm like filling the gaps of what your character is. So we're having their memories and that kind of stuff. Barbara, I am not even joking. I also rolled Fox for the first first name that I rolled. So I'm going to reroll that. What is happening? How are our dives connected? I feel like it's fun to break. Did someone get it? Is this someone have a torch? I do. Yeah. I think I only have one. No, I got rid of both my torches. And then personality is chummy. My name is Bartholomew Dreg Hope. Bartholomew, huh? I'm going to go by Barth or Barth. What's like a what's another other like other than Barth? I don't want to do Bart. You could go by a mew fart. Follow. Oh, sell. Oh, no, you. Mew. My name is mew Dreg Hope. I'm a nerd with wavy hair. My name is Dennis. Whoa. Dennis weatherland. Cool. Incredible. Now back to Dennis weatherland in the studio reporting on tonight's weather forecast. It's great. So so blame. What did you go with? I'm going to go with mew Dreg Hope. All right. He's a nerd and Chris. Here he comes. All right. It's coming. It's coming. I love when I ask Chris questions. It's just silence for like, you know, a good 30 seconds. I'm typing it down to if you need it. I am Odell. Odell. Odell. Odell. And then where do you pick your last names from? The keeps crawling down. Oh, Adele. Odell. Yeah, Adele. I love it. That's great. How's that spelled? O-D-E-L. Yeah, okay. Weatherland. It's so good. Odell. I'm going to write this down. How is that Dennis or Denise? Odell. Long. Depends where in the country you're at. It's pronounced differently. Long under. Oh, no. Long under. Oh, what a long under. Oh, what a long under. Rolling in the deep. Oh, hey, Mr. Long under. Did you do? You did two. Oh, I might have. Part one. Yeah. I didn't see under as a second part. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's the character with three first names. That's okay. I'm sticking with long under. Long under it is. And how do you calculate your armor? How much armor did you have, Chris? I did four. Oh, my. Whoa. Wow. My guy's a he's a pit fighter. Yeah. Long under. He's got to cover up the goods. All his armor is just on his underbits. It's a caught piece. It's just really quickly. Everybody give me, starting with Barbara. Everybody give me your AC. My AC is 14. 14. Mine is 13. 13. 12. 12. 15. 15. Hip points. Start with Barbara again. Five. Okay. Four. Okay. Five. Okay. Four. All right. Cool. I was waiting for Chris to be like to like, pit fighter with no help. I know. I'll do it. I ran a version of this adventure and this game with some friends. Probably months ago now. And one person rolled on their D6 of hip points. Oh, I was thinking that could easily happen because it's a D6. So yeah. Very high chance. All right. Next thing. We've got your characters. Start thinking or kind of developing as we play what they might look like. And we can kind of go over that as we as we roll plane. But the big thing I want to talk about is you as a part, you four as an adventuring party. First thing is y'all need a name. It could be very simple. It could be one word, two words, something like that. It could be a color and a noun, you know, like whatever kind of speaks to what you think your name is. So if you have an idea for a word or a part of the name, just like call it out. I'm going to could I roll in this personality's thing for a descriptive word? It's an inspiration. Yeah. You can totally roll. All right. I got creep. So we could do creepy something. The creeps. Creepy crew. Creepy crew. The creeps creepers. Longfellow in the creeps. Long under in the creeps. Creepy under. I rolled a 44. So that is a idealistic jiles. But no, no, let me do for sure name. That's a gird. We're good. Creepy. Good. Creepy. Good. Creepy. Good sounds like the guy you run into in the tavern that gives you the like quest to go into his basement to fight rats. Yeah. Creepy. Add it again. Okay. How about we were a team called creepy. Or maybe that's our boss. It's like creepy. Guards crew. Yeah. Like our bosses. He's he is our leader. Creepy. And he sent us out on a mission and we're keep creepy. Guards crew. I also just want to specify. Guards. I've heard this before. It's like an acid reflux. Yes. Situation. He's named after basically a gastrointestinal reflex disease. So I do like gird is a name though. Like gird. It's why he doesn't go out of the drink. He's stuck at home. He's too injured. He's got his curd. Yeah. Or it's like you gird something you you encircle it. Like a load. Yeah. Like a high or a girl. We're the creepy gird crew or CGC for short. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Creepy. Good. Alright. Creepy. Good. Crew. What is your party sigil? The symbol that you have emblazoned on your flags and on your shields and stuff. It's someone it's someone pending overholding their tummy. I was in a picture of intestines. intestines. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bulled up intestines. Like we're all it's like just like an end and tacit like tablet. Pums. Yeah. Bottle of thumbs. Intestines. All right. Intestines spell out CGC. Yeah. Ooh. That's gross. That's creepy. We're we're getting there. I'm looking up what a just a simple picture of intestines. Look like it's so gross. Yeah. Gross. Just rope. It's all it is. Just rope. Human rope. Slimey human rope. Maybe that's just what it is. It just looks like a like a like a kind of coil bunched up rope. Coiled slimey rope. Yeah. Creepy. Good. Crew. How do people feel about that? Every time someone stops to ask us what our sigil means, what it takes forever us to explain that it's a bunch of intestines. Bulled up. No. They just recognize you from the get. Yeah. We're notorious. Creepy. Good. Don't mess with them. All right. We've got your name. The creepy. Good. Crew. We got your party sigil. The coiled. Slimey. Rope. Yeah. Let's go over some rules real quick and then we'll dive in. So nafe plays a lot like old school RPGs such as D&D. Like we talked about their six ability scores. Your old checks and attacks with the D20 add relevant modifiers. I'll help you with that as we get there. Successful attacks. Your old damaged dice. Again, we'll go over that if we need to. And then subtract whoever you attacked from their armor from their hit points. Excuse me. So subtract from the target's hit points. The two biggest immediate differences are different differences down the line. But are the item slots? So like item slot wounds. So whenever you drop to zero hit points, you take a wound. A wound. You start with your highest number item. So like one through one through 10 or 11, start with 11 or 10. And that wound drops that item slot. You can no longer use that item slot. It's not gone. It just can't use it. So if it's like an armor piece, for example, our AC would go down. It is gone. Oh, it's gone gone. Yeah. Oh, it's gone gone. So you're telling me I might have to drop my large block. Oh, no. Yeah, maybe. Not my phone guy. And then it kind of works. It's way up from there. So every time you get hit and take a wound, you lose another item slot, another item slot until you get to zero item slots and then you're dead. Goodness. Whoa. So you have those like five or you know, five or four hit points and then it goes to item slots. Makes sense? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You can recover item slots with a rest. We'll see if that happens in this game. But just know that that's what you have going forward. Within the second difference is initiative. We've kind of done this in maize rats. It's very similar. It's side-based initiative. A lot of games do this instead of like rolling everybody rolls initiative. Just do two sides. So like the leader of your group, the leader of the enemy's group, both roll a charisma check, not a Dex check. And that determines which side acts first. On a side-stern, everybody can act in any order they want. It doesn't have to be the same order every time. You can work and do things together. I highly recommend that. Kind of like talk through what you guys want to do as a group. And then the other side goes and then vice versa. So might say I use some ingenuity. Maybe. Spine. Everything else will kind of address it as it becomes relevant. One thing we didn't do, this is relevant, is some of y'all had intelligence points, right? Yes. I have one. Yes. I think. Yeah. So just you two, anybody else? No. Ben does do. Okay. So what you can do is I think I've put this in notion as well is on the side, there should be spellbook. It should be the second to the last thing. For every point of intelligence, you can have a spellbook. A spellbook has one spell in it. Okay. And so we pick one of these at random. Pick at random. Pick or choose it random. Pick at random. Roll at random like either one. Do you want to do that now? Barbe, you can do that now? Yeah. If you want a custom one, we can do that. But some of these are really like actually kind of fun spells. They're really simple. I got command. That's the one I was just looking at. Get out of my head, Barbe. So command, it says, a creature obeys a single, a single or I guess it's a amount of intelligence you have word. So like if you have one point, it's going to be one word command that doesn't harm it. So it obeys that single word command or however many intelligence points you have. Okay. And where does that go on our sheet? Good question. Because there's no, it's like putting it in the drugs. I just put it in the drugs. I would like to choose Babel. That sounds fun. Babel? Babel? Babel? Go and read it. Babel, int creatures must loudly and clearly repeat everything you think they are otherwise mute. So you have one point intelligence or one point intelligence. Okay. One point. So you have one creature that must loudly and clearly repeat everything you think. All right. And then Blaine, I got such an unfortunate one. Sniff. Creatures can smell all since up to 120 feet away for one turn. Could be interesting. Could be actually, I could see how that could be useful actually. I think my guys like a bit of an investigator. There's a lot of stuff that's like data collection. So I've yeah, war with it. Yeah. And like we can, these are very malleable spells. Like if we had made up a custom one, it would have been like three words mashed together. And then like we just kind of make up what it does. All right. Everybody's got their spells marked down. Hit points on a class, all that jazz. Let's dive in. We begin our tale in the mystical and medieval realm of Gauntlandia. Gauntlandia. The sprawling lands of Gauntlandia are blanketed with indescribable Barb, what are they blanketed with again? Like a weird kind of snow. Okay. Weird snow. That's right. Okay. It's a domain that has been seen its fair share of battles, beasts. And who could forget the great then what was that thing that happened? What was the great the war of the small bears? The great war of the small bears. Yeah, it was terrible. I really bad. A little model like creatures run around. I need to brush up on that. Remind me later. But today we find our party. The what was the name of your party again? The creepy Gurd crew. Yep. The creepy Gurd crew. They're in the deepest, darkest dungeon of the tallest terrifying tower called Blaine. What was it called again? Party City. It's a very terrifying name. Our four veteran heroes are neck deep in a fierce fight. They're surrounded by torturing devices, slain beasts, and unforgettable criss. What was the last thing that there was surrounding you? The large animated tomatoes. Animated tomatoes. Yeah. Very bad for those people that struggle with Gurd. That's true. Their formidable foe, an evil sorcerer named Malastar. A pasty man currently floating above an obsidian dais wearing a black velvet cloak and a horned skull hat. Malastar? Malastar. I'm going to give you guys something really cool for a little bit since you all are expert adventurers. Yeah. For the time being, you can add a zero to your hit points in other words, times 10. Whoa. So powerful. Oh, my goodness. On all your checks for the until I tell you otherwise, you have advantage. In this game, advantage is not rolling again. Advantage is plus five. Oh, okay. So disadvantage with the opposite minus five. Love it. So everything is plus five, and plus your relevant modifiers that they become into play. This is like the pre-cool video game before you stub your toe and lose all your cool items. Yeah. And is that on like every, every dice roll basically? Or yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. So you guys are in battle with Malastar. There's tomatoes flying everywhere. It's an arm. He's floating above a dais. Animated tomatoes. They have faces and they look really disgusting. They keep like fighting as you guys, but it's getting towards a tail end of this battle. You've been really successful thus far. Slain the minions getting through the torturing devices. And Malastar is really on his last leg. So let's say we're in an issue of already. It's y'all's turn. This is like your last round of combat. Think of like super power moves that you want to do. And then let's do them. It wants to go first. Because we roll. I'll go first. Okay. Okay. Barber go first. All right. So I want to take my trident and I want to do a really cool spin move with it and stab it up into his neck. Okay. What does Fox look like they're wearing? Fox is definitely like heavily armored, but in a nice fashionable way. So he has a breastplate armplate and then also a gambeson. I don't know how to pronounce that correctly. Yeah. You got it. Gammson. He's definitely on the bigger side. Probably about six foot two six foot three. Very muscular kind of big gray hair and like a beard as well. Awesome. Very cool. Fox steps up to Malastar floating in the air, pulls out their trident and goes for a stab. We wouldn't roll that D-20 and add your strength to it and plus five. I swear I rolled a 20. Nice. So that'd be 25. So in this game, if you roll 21 plus, you get to do the damage and you get a free maneuver. So maneuvers are like disarming, pushing, stunning, blinding, breaking, something, tripping, and so on. So like anything that's like you're changing the circumstance kind of a little bit. So what do you think? What do you think Fox would want to do in this situation? It's going to be a little graphic. Okay. I think maybe he, once he stabs, he kind of tilts the trident so it also blinds him and goes through his eyes. Oh. Oh wow. Okay. So you stab go up and then through the eyes. Amazing. Amazing. Lots of tomato juices are flying everywhere now. Little flocks called failed moves. Awesome. Oh, roll damage too. Sorry, we didn't see that. I think for, that's a two handed weapon probably. Yeah, probably. I think it's a D-8 if I remember correctly, but I don't remember. I'll tell my head guys. I don't, I don't know if we need to do anything else. I think Fox has got this. I think you might be taken care of. That's a seven for damage. Awesome. All right. That down. Yeah. We want to go next. I'll go. It is I. Mu drag hope. So Mu is wearing a very basic medieval attire. I think it's called a tabored. So it's just like kind of like a tunic type thing. It's like very close to, you know, he has it very what is it? When you go and get a jacket fitted, was that called? Taylor. Yeah, it's like very tailored to be form fitting. I kind of imagine him being like a climber. And he is going to whip out his cal trops to throw at Malistar's feet to kind of like put him off balance. And if you'll allow me like kind of be whipping at him, I don't know if that's two attacks. If it is, then I'll just do the cal trops because I think that those are cool. Typically it is. If you want to describe how you would do that the same time with like one swift movement, I might allow it. Okay. I think what does he sound like when he says that? Oh, oh, I'll get to that. So I think while Barba was your character new again. Fox. Fox. Well, Fox is like stabbing and stuff like that. Mu is like circling. He's just trying to stay as evasive as possible. So he's whipping up at him and he's throwing cal trops, doing anything to just add to the disarray so that Malistar can't keep track of what's happening. You know, yeah. And he's just saying. Good back, you feed. Good back. He's crazy. Awesome. Mu, go ahead and roll. Let's say a wisdom. Okay. Wisdom check and add plus five. Use catch phrase. Who got you? Eat my shorts. All right. And that's a D20 correct. Yeah. D20. Bless your wisdom plus plus five. That was a 20. I'm going to try to hold it. Now hold it up for you right there. I believe you. I believe you. And then that was you're not winning any rewards in this game. It was I guess plus five, but also my intelligence started my user wisdom, right? If it's over 21, it hits. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Well, then it is. And then you also get a maneuver. So I mean, this kind of works in your favor of what you were kind of describing with like the cal trop stuff. So what do you think happens because of the cal trop? I think he need a step. Malacar would step on him and go, you know, like his his feet. He's all known certain of his movements. So he's kind of trapped in one spot, making it more vulnerable to the rest of the party. I like that this started with like a gory face injury to like slapstick comedy. Yeah. Cool. Awesome. Very cool. I love it. Oh, yeah. Go ahead and roll damage. I think that's a D6 probably. Okay. That is five. Nice. Nice. Nice. All right. Next. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Now you go, Ben. You see a tall six foot two man standing toward the back a little bit. A nice like white suit almost with an admiral's jacket. And he's eyeing the what's going on with what was Malacar Malacar Malacar Malacar. Yeah. And he definitely sees that his two compatriots have that handled, but all these flying tomatoes, something has to be done about it. So he reaches into his admiral's jacket and pulls out one of his very limited 11 item resource slots and pulls out his trumpet. And with a large blast wall of sound wants to blur into this trumpet and try to confuse or push away these flying animated tomatoes that are surrounding the crew. Awesome. Gosh. I would say that's more like a charisma thing to me. That's perfect because I actually have a point in charisma. All right. Do your trumpet solo. And that's a solid 25. Wow. Y'all are killing it. Okay. So what's the maneuver that you add on top of that damage? Go ahead and roll damage to or actually where were you trying to do with the two? I want to blast them back with a wave of sound. Okay. Absolutely happens. Yeah. What a what maneuver do you think happens in the midst of that? Give me the list of maneuvers again. Is there someone come up with? Sure. Disarming, pushing, stunning, blinding, breaking gear, tripping, climbing, restraining. I think this is stunning. This is like gonna like blast these animated tomatoes, eardrums. It's stunning. Yeah. Like you blow your trumpet and these flying animated tomatoes start like pulsing and getting larger and larger and larger. That's the stagiarist like bursting like bubbles all around the room and just like juices are flying and staining everything in the area. All the bea. Malastar is already covered in blood and is covered in more red sauce. And last was at least really quickly. Can I get just a one liner? Yeah. Yeah. The sound squelts and pulls the trumpet away and you hear him say, oh, I never let my crew get the get someone get the jump on them or else my name not be Dennis Weatherland. Dennis. My name is not Larry. All right. So Odo long under C's an opportunity. He's a 13 year old boy wearing giant armor full decked out. I'm talking like armor plate helmet breast plate or arm plate helmet breastplate leg plate. But he's got his apron on over it. He doesn't want his armor getting dirty. And in one hand, he has his cookery and the other hand a rolling pin. And he goes, he goes, oh, wow, this is a really good extent. A really good opportunity. These tomatoes are really valuable and dishes. Also, they they they burn incredibly incredibly badly. So we take he's one of the remaining pieces of tomatoes that are he's kind of slices a piece off of it and just takes it and shoves it deep into the the Malastar's wounds. Oh, this is or how could you wow. So there's more like this. This is just more completely different. Completely different. I hope that was okay, guys. Legally distinct. Give me a you tell me what would you argue for what ability do you think this plays into the most? Like is it a Dex? Is it because you're just like shoving something? I guess Dex or strength, right? Yeah. And then go ahead and rule. I rolled a two plus my plus five plus two for total nine. Nine. Okay. So you come up to Malastar who's already like on maybe death door very covered in blood and and guts and and like tomato juices and you just like thread that needle and like shove more tomato sauce into this person's like eyes and wounds and like just all the acid is leaking up from these juices are all all over him now. You see that he is barely limply levitating above the ground now. He's like I'm gradually touching the floor every now and then dripping with blood like I said tomato and heaving heavily. His sable eyes narrow on the four of you and he says in a kind of whispered tone. The game is far from over heroes. And with a turn of his blood tomato stained black cloak he vanishes into a whisp of shadow. I like to think that because he was blinded he wasn't facing us when he said that. Oh, there you are. The game is far from it. You're very successful. All the minions have been dispatched in this dungeon. The tomatoes are no more. The torturing devices have become lifeless and you have treasure chest of hordes of treasure and items all around you that your courtiers could probably come and collect for you and bring back. So we'll fast forward a bit to a few hours later. You the creepy gird crew return home to strong hold keep and are welcomed with a revelrous feast held in your honor. You have attendance with silver platters offering exotic foods like what were the foods that were offered? Oh, well, you know, they got foxes favorite food turkey leg. Turkey leg, of course. Yeah, yeah. It was a very successful hunt this year. Chris, did you have a question? Well, I think Odo would have wanted to help cook the feast. If that's okay. Sure. Yeah, what else would he have cooked? Oh, I just wanted to prepare some of this delicious tomato pies. Tomato pies. Tomato pies. Are there cheese on these pies? Where would you get those tomatoes from? Oh, I scavenged them from their remains of the giant anamorphic tomatoes. Okay, you say there's no blood mixed in with this because, you know, whether they catch up again and the blood ended, it was hard to tell. Oh, yeah, yeah, I mean, there absolutely could be some blood, but you know, blood is actually a delicious flavor. Oh, yeah, if she's strength, strengthen the battle. All right, can confidently say that after this day, I will never eat bear or tomato ever again. All right, I don't know what to do with any so you have these exotic and maybe questionable foods circling around on these silver platters, but also you have something to wash it down. Thirst quenching beverages like Ben, what were some of the beverages there? Ah, seafaring man's favorite beverage orange juice. Mmm, the battle that scurvy. Excellent. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves in a pain. The feast is interrupted by someone bursting through the front doors of the great hall. You recognize this individual immediately because of their distinctive plain. What was distinctive about this person again? Big wordy nose. Big wordy nose, that's right. And it's your friend and home on court here. Squire. You all know the square, but the nose and the one guy's remember don't mention his nose. Whatever you do, he hates it when you mention his nose. Well, something's wrong. They're barely hanging on to their mounts. It's a humble creature. Chris, what was it again? It's a giant hamster. A humble, a humble giant hamster. He's barely hanging on struggling to breathe through bloody lips and swollen cheeks and his nose is obviously in the way. And Squire says, the withered have been taken. I'm sorry, what was that? The withered. What? The withered. The withered. Withered. He said the withered. And I'm going to ask each of you starting with Fox. How did the withered find you? And what wisdom or magic did they share with you those many years ago? The withered find me while I was alone camping, just trying to make a buck for myself. I've been trying to sculpt these little vases for everybody. It was an interest I kind of got as a child. But he also noticed how I killed a lot in my free time. You know, it's like, which one's the hobby? It's the question. Killing or the pottery. Who knows? And he just said, you know, you could put those skills to use elsewhere. And then I just followed along with him. Very trusting of this guy for some reason. Yeah, easily to trust. Very. Let's move on to Dennis. Dennis, how did the withered find you? And what wisdom or magic that they share with you those many years ago? Oh, he found me in my lighthouse much, much longer after my captain days. I retired and moved to the top of a lighthouse for the isolation to be left alone. And for 20 days and 20 nights, he would have knocking on my door, knocking, knocking, knocking, and says, and I would open it and say, get out of here. This is my lighthouse. And he'd say, no, I need you for a for a grand adventure. And to finally, I said, what possibly could you offer me to get me to leave my lighthouse? And he said, the one thing I love more than my isolation money. And so I said, of course, I'll leave us a restraining order. Wait, he offered you money? He did offer me money. Well, I shouldn't have agreed so soon. And so he never gave me advice, but I assume it's got to be that money is the most important thing. And so I said, yes, of course. And here I am today ready to get my money and go back to being alone. All right. And Mew, how did the wizard find you? What wisdom or magic that they share with you? Well, I was out and about one of the great cities doing investigating. And I had a terrible, terrible side of infection as you could hear from my voice. And the wizard offered some help. He lifted some of my sinus conditions with the power of staff sinus conditions. Yeah, with stiff, I can smell 120 feet away. I might know as a still plugged into the sound of my voice, but he gave me my immense smell back in a sense of purpose with that too. The power of olfactory. It warms the heart. Lastly, but not least, Odell. Yeah, well, whenever my village was conquered and my father and mother and little sister were also drafted into the gladiatorial force to become gladiatorial combatants. And we were separated. He told me that only by winning the hearts of the crowd, may I win my freedom and be reunited with my family once again. So I just, you know, at the young age of four, five, I began just slaughtering everyone I could. I became the greatest pit fighter in the world. And it was all thanks to the advice of him. Yes, the UFG. I know of it well, the ultimate fighting gladiator. I thought you looked like Russell Crowe. So you all recall these memories, the wisdom and magic that was shared with you and Squire begins to explain that your questmaster, the wizard and their humble Squire were out exploring the far reaches of Gauntlandia when they unexpectedly stumbled upon a portal. It transported them to a strange realm, a cursed landplied with vicious, albeit sentient creatures. They quickly came to call them meal walkers. Most of them were armed with crystal shards imbued with powerful magics like conjuration, divination, telepathy, illusions, and more. The wizard was struck by a magical spell of invisible lightning and captured in battle. Squire tried to help, but was afflicted by a fatal curse of necromancy by the meal walkers leader named unknown. Squire barely managed to escape back through the portal to Gauntlandia and their mount, the giant hamster of course, carried them home. But the curse causes them to slowly but unstoppable bleed from the inside. You just see all this blood kind of oozing out of their body and Squire seems to have precious time of sauce. I can't tell what's tomato sauce and what's his blood. Someone please help Squire in his big bulbous nose. Squire is okay. Nobody knows. I mean, no, just Shnasa. I mean, I'm being conquer. Squares is, I beg of you all, please define the wizard, go through the portal. I'll give you this map and there's a few other things if you could do it on the wrong way. Search for the rescue the wizard of course. Find a cure for me if possible. If you have time, it's okay if you don't. Collect crystal shots for the wizard of course. He'll want to study those once he's free from wherever he's at. Then slay all the meal walkers if you can as needed. Then exact revenge in vengeance on whoever's responsible for all this. So, you know, a few sub side missions if you will side quest. Anyways, yeah, I might just rest here. If you all just, here's the map. And you can go and he starts like, dozing off and you see like more blood is starting to lose out. I did collect some of these they're called tampons. So just shove them up. Shove them up, you know, that should stop the bleeding just a little bit. Thank you. That's very help. I think it's too late for him. I believe you're dying now. Do you want us to end your suffering? I can do it quickly. No, I'm fine. The cure for this. We don't have to kill him. It's too late. He's got it's I've seen this before many times. He's a gunner. You have too much tomato sauce already. Please, we don't need it anymore. All right. Squires, John Hamster kind of comes forward and starts like growling as a giant hamster might go ahead protective of squire. Oh, ham ham. Good to see you. All right. You've been given your quest. You've been given a map. Any last things you want to do before you head out? I'd like I'd like to get some of this food and pack up a little to go back. This is really good stuff. Yeah, absolutely. Attendance kind of comes to your to your aid and beck and call and start like stuffing dried foods and different meals that they've collected and cooked for you all and add it to your to your mounts in the back. Do we know what our mounts are? Ham ham. You tell me? Well, ham ham is taken, but if you want a similar creature, you can totally do that. Him taro. Yeah. Okay. Like gerb gerb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All could have ham ham. It was, you know, a noble noble breed of hamsters and how it would be honored to have one of ham ham siblings. Yeah. Store Store Store Store Store Store Store Store Store Store Store Store Store and I don't get along. But maybe. Okay. Maybe. Whiskey whiskers. Whiskey whiskers. Whiskers. Yeah. Whiskers. The runs. Right. Yeah. I always called them whisk whisk. Because I would whisk. Whenever I cook, I'd whisk. And whisk whisk. I whisk up some hamster milk for whisk whisk. Yeah. I think it's how you tune. What about the other three of you. What kind of mounts do you ride. You have a Panther. That's cool. Is it a black Panther? Is it a different color? No, he's a black Panther and I'm gonna say his name is what's that band called Pantera? Yeah we're gonna go with Pantera. Yeah that's that's what his name is. I like it. Well awesome. Yeah Pantera. Mine is a bore and like just a giant pig you know. His name is Waddles. Waddles. All right cool. And lastly. Well I have the biggest weight hold on where is that accent where that come from? I have the biggest. I have my loyal steed little archibald. He's the faddest smallest leg to shorted tiny pony you've never seen. Awesome. So you all get settled up all your gear and you find this map that Squire has has crudely strewn for you on a parchment and you set off into the night. It's you've been battling and then revelry for most of the day and now it's time as of the essence you head out crossing forests and fields and mountains and hills until you reach the far reaches and ends of Gauntlandia that have barely been explored. The light of day is depending to diminish and you start to see amongst the shadows a cavern. Who who's going to go first? Who's got torches? I'll I'll go in. All right it's very dark at this moment. You can barely see the evening sky and the clouds and the trees are kind of blocking most of the light. The cavern itself is pitch black inside. How do you what do you want to do? Can I light one of my torches? Absolutely. You strike your torch and immediately like a soft glow illuminates this cavern and it seems to be strewn with colorful spider webs all over the place each one a different shade of the rainbow. What do you want to do? All right, ladies, stay close. You got to get a little closer. Could I reach up and like touch gently touch one of the spiderwebs to see if it's like hard or if it's like breakable kind of thing? Yeah, you holding your torch, have your other hand out and reach for one of these colorful spiderwebs and as you begin to touch that you notice that it is not soft. It doesn't break easily. In fact, it's a little thicker than spiderwebs that you normally see and maybe it's a bigger creature, but it feels kind of like it has a little bit of a grip to it. It does kind of stick to your hands but not in a gooey way. Kind of like a almost like springy. I don't know what you mean by springy. Like an actual spring? Almost like a like fishing line or something like that where it's like, ointment. Yeah, it has a little bit more density to it. Yeah, something like that. If you hold on it, you hear like a burning, burning, burning, burning, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Yeah, so that's kind of what's in front of you like strewn about. It's kind of obscuring your path. Well, you all know the first rule of the sea, right? What is it, Dennis? I don't. You find a spider. You burn it all down and start over. I think this cave, we just orch it and say goodbye. That's my last year ship. I've gone through a lot of ships. Well, you win this time. I'm sorry. I swore vengeance on that spider. I'll find him one day. Don't you worry, Dennis, because I got this trident. It kind of acts like a giant fly swatter. All right. So if we see a spider, we swat it. Barb, when you use that voice, you have the biggest teeth. You stick it out like that. It's so fun. It's like the opposite of my teeth. All right. Yeah. Big mouth. Not a little mouth. So what are you going to do with your trident? I think I'll just probably hold it forward. Could it slice through these spider webs? Is it strong enough or is it still resisting against the trident? You want to try? Yeah. You want to try? Okay. Yeah. Are you like stabbing four trying to cut down? What is your moment? I am picturing it almost like when you fork spaghetti. So it's like you stabbing and twist. Twist it. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Yeah. You start to get a few of them caught between the tongs of the trident and start spinning them. And it takes a little bit of force and eventually they start to snap almost like vines. And a few of them fall to the ground. That's what's happened this far. What are the rest of you going to do? I got strong forearm sculpting. It was sculpting. Well, now that there are any sort of obstructions in the way, I step forward and I summon the mighty sniff to see what kind of things lay ahead of us in this cavern. Now I will say you can use that spell once. Per long rest or think we're only going to get willing to get one. Yeah. I think it's per day. Now, why didn't say anything about a spell? I think he's just going to. I'll also set this up and say you are at evening. So very well, and maybe that you'll get to the next dawn. So I just want to give you all the facts. I'm not trying to sway you. I think you can sniff as told. Every day is if it's my last. Okay. I'm going to sniff anyway and just see if I can smell any sort of like it to be types or anything like that. What kind of sense do I summon with my mighty nose? What does it look like when you when you cast this spell? I do some magic with my fingers, kind of like Dr. Strang style and green is suddenly forming and then I suck at it by no's. And then now my nose is glowing bright green and I just go Is this like a no-mars to squire? This is for squire. Shout out to squire. That's that's why I say squire. Squire life. Awesome. Yeah. You noticed that this colorful like emanation from your nose starts to even like softly glow throughout the cavern a bit more. And you start to see things that aren't there before. You can kind of like see that there's like light traveling through the spider webs even through the walls a bit. At the end of the hall past like where the torch might be lighting it, you see these like two deep carved lines and they're like vertical lines in like the cave wall directly in front of you like maybe 30 feet okay do I smell anything beyond that because I do have 120 feet us. You do 120 feet okay you smell it's like smell a vision. Yeah. In the distance some like metallic sort of scents and sweat like perspiration and probably in the air you you smell like other beasts like in the forest you travel through to get to this cave. You don't smell any immediate animal and mammalian kind of creatures in this cavern though. Okay. All right, give me my super snows and I don't sense it yet. It's a head but there are two vertical lines beyond these webs and it you know I smell metal so that could be traps. They're gonna be careful. Good nose on you. Thank you. Thank you. So Dennis is just gonna throw a rock down the hallway but what you did was way better. Well I mean you could activate traps because I did smell hints of metal. Yeah who wants to who wants to move forward and do something? I want to take some of my some of the flower from my flower back and and fling it into the air and see if any hidden traps or or strings or pulleys reveal themselves or if it reveals any. Yeah you put your rinse or things that might have you know show the way. All right. Yeah you toss out your your flower white powder kind of blooms into the air and you see that it kind of stays there for a moment and starts to settle towards the ground but like some of it towards the back starts like moving towards these deep carved lines. It's you don't see any footprints on the ground except well you might see two sets of footprints. Two sets. You assume that's probably the wizard and squire that came here. Size 11 size 8 that's definitely the wizard and squire. Which one which? Oh the wizard is definitely size 11. Yeah. Squires actually he's more of a size 4 but for some reason he wears 8 I think he's self-conscious about it. I know they usually say your foot size matches you know size so. Oh he made a size 14 he's squishing into an 8 who's to say. All right well that's what the that's what the flower reveals for you. Beauty is pain. You all never be so I'll never be more surprised than why when I hear your snows can detect someone's chew size. It's the most impressive thing about she. I am an investigator after all I know a lot of these things and quite observant. What if we were to uh uh carefully retrace the steps of our uh of the the poor poor slain squire who's undoubtedly dead by now and then that way you need to avoid any traps and then it seems like there might be some openings up here if if if my flower is correct. Your flower power. We cut back to squire in the great hall like ham ham is licking it and licking him and he's like you know pouring some wine to his mouth I hope they don't forget. We cut back to y'all. That's why they call me the flower wizard. Oh I think that's the trade bar legally distinct. All right so what do you want to do? I know you really really like squire I promise we will avenge him and I will raise my torch and slowly follow these footprints everyone to follow me. Okay Dennis moves forward kind of tracing retracing these steps forward closer and closer to these carved lines. As you get closer you see that the carved lines start to like glow with a soft red more and more and more as you get closer and as you reach one of the final steps Dennis disappears. Dennis? Well he's dead. Remember me. Do you happen to smell Dennis anywhere? Are my sniff powers still activated? He smelled like the sea. Yeah I think you you smell some sea salt. Yeah I like to know what Dennis smells like plain. If you could. Yeah yeah yeah hold on. Old spice. Captain Morgan's. You know the back it's when we were celebrating not at the party city that was the fight the other place are strongholds. I forgot that was called part city. Stronghold was it stronghold keep um yep. Squire did mention something about portals so maybe he got teleported there was some sort of portal technology from which these meal walkers appeared from. Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and step forward and see if I can follow through the portal after Dennis. What about the rest of you? Yes. Yeah. I'll follow through as well. All right the three of you follow suit with your friend Dennis and retrace these steps and the glow kind of envelops you all with this red flashing lights and the cacophony of sounds bombard your senses from every angle. They're surroundings like just swirl. Yeah their strength begins to diminish and suddenly you slam it to something hard with the craft. Ouch. My back. And we'll have to find out the next episode. Oh. So thank you all for listening. Thanks to our patients who make this show happen making tavern tails happen. It's really exciting to get to do that. We all thanks all our players for learning a new game and creating characters and the show and the the adventure is not over go to episode one and we'll start this adventure with y'all. See you there. I'm excited. I think the adventure started to start. I can't wait to show off my teeth. It's so time. Huck! Good says. Fair ladies and gentlefolk. 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