Hormones & Your Budget: How Your Cycle Impacts How You Spend Money and What to Do About It with Leisha Drews | 533

Want to pay off debt but don't know where to start? Stop making random extra payments and hoping for the best. Let's build a debt payoff strategy that actually works. Join us Thursday, May 28th for our debt payoff workshop so you'll know what you owe so you can pick your debt payoff method and you can start getting out of debt. We'll help you organize your debt, understand your balances, interest rates and minimum payments and help you choose what to pay first. Discover all three payoff methods including the snowball, avalanche and minimum payments and we'll also tell you what to know before applying for debt consolidation. No shame, no finance bro nonsense, just your next right step. Grab your spot at budgetbesties.com forward slash debt workshop. Hey guys, this is more of a female episode. However, if you want to stay tuned to maybe learn more about your wives or your daughters and maybe how they're functioning throughout the month, then you may want to listen. Yeah, 90% of our audience, 95, 99 are women so this is perfect for you. You're going to really learn a lot but if you're not, like Vanessa said, feel free to skip it. But we are talking today to Alicia Drews who is the host of the Happily Hormonal Podcast. She's a nurse and she really focuses on hormones and figuring out all the things when it comes to that. Yeah and she really believes that your hormones determine how you act throughout the month. It's fact, right? Your hormones determine your spending habits, your mood, just different ways that you are interacting throughout the month and so we're just really bringing life to that here. Yeah, it was a really interesting conversation. We enjoyed it. We learned a lot and we, she was just talking about like when you're more rational about your budget, when you're a little more spendy, why you might be more spending, all those kind of things. It was really interesting and it's totally going to apply and help you probably adjust some things that you're doing in your life. Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have big dreams for your financial future? Do you want to get debt free but you don't want to live on beans and rice? Or you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes? Hey, it's okay if you don't already know how to budget or if you're using credit cards to get through the month. Hey, it's okay if you want to seem like you have your finances all together or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances. We know what you're doing probably isn't working but guess what? You're in the right place. We're Shayna. And Vanessa, we're best friends, business partners and master financial coaches trained by Day Francy. We've been in business since 2019 helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck and know exactly what to do with their money. In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages and even bring your kids in on the conversation. We can help you no matter where you're at whether you're the single mom who's never had $500 in her savings account or the millionaire who's paid off for real estate mortgages. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time. This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast. Hey, Lisa, welcome to the show. We're so excited to have you. All right, we're excited. You guys are about to get a wealth of knowledge and, you know, over overspending spending habits, kind of the emotional toll of money is something that a lot of you ask about. So we're going to get some real good insight from Lisa. She's amazing. Lisa, tell us how our cycle or hormones, how all of that, does it actually affect our spending or is that all in our heads? I was really thinking about this just a few months ago and just trying to get into this piece of it because I've been working with women on hormones for years now. I've been like understanding, you know, how it affects our moods for one thing. But then I was like, this has got to affect spending. I actually was doing my budget with my husband. And I was like, why every month do I do this budget? And I'm like, yes, I'm on board. This is great. And then literally like a week later, I just forget. And I'm like, okay, so this is, we need to go into this later for myself. But I'm like, this thing is going on here. Like, I'm not like this forgetful, but just, it just doesn't seem like it matters that much, like a week later or two weeks later, and we budget every month. And so I was like, you know, being who I am, I'm like, this has to do with this. There's got to be something hormonal here. So when I started to dive in, I found that there are some very predictable patterns with our menstrual cycles that if we know that they're coming, we can, I think understand, not only understand them better, but actually make changes in how we're spending and making decisions, because we know that they're happening. And it's not just this kind of, I know this something changes throughout the month, but I'm not sure what it is, like we can pinpoint. So there is actually a very big link between hormones and neurotransmitters and our habits that really makes a difference in our finances. I think what I hear from you is just being aware, right? Being prepared, knowing, instead of like you said, this cycle of this happens every month. I don't really know why, but I'll just see, okay, it'll happen next month. And then just you go through this roller coaster, but understanding and knowing your body and knowing that it's coming in that way, you can be aware and be prepared for it. Absolutely. All right. So I'm just thinking about me. But so I'm trying to get down to this because I do think that, you know, women will tend to blame a lot of things. And if they can understand themselves better than they can prepare and they can, you know, hopefully have a little bit more grace. We hear all the time, you know, I have a spending problem. I'm bad with money. And we're so we try really hard to change that narrative for women. But now we can we can really get some some facts and some data about when maybe some of these things that they wish were different. Why they're happening when they're happening and maybe they'll be able to combat that. Yeah. Yeah. So what I'd love to do is just go through the menstrual cycle, what that looks like so you can get a brief understanding. And then we'll talk about spending and how your brain works differently in the different phases of your cycle. So one of the big things that I want to say every time I'm talking to someone new is our hormones are not the enemy. I think that we have been told as women, it just sucks to be a woman, you get a period and it's terrible, your mood's a mess, like you're crazy sometimes. Like I just think there's like really negative narrative around women around our hormones and just how we speak about them, how other people speak about them. And what I want to just say is a really core belief for me and I've seen it be so true for so many of us is that when we understand our hormones better and we understand how our bodies work, we can see the gift that it is. And truly like the reason that we have hormones is so we can create new life. And that is a superpower that men do not have and we don't appreciate to be honest and we just look at these cycles as a pain and like something we have to deal with and a burden. And if you are having menstrual symptoms like PMS, mood swings, bad periods, hormonal acne, like all of these things that are not TMI on my podcast, but maybe a little TMI here, so I won't go into all of them. This is your body telling you that something is going on under the surface and it is not normal. Even if your BFF has it, even if your sister has it, even if it's always run in your family, you do not have to be stuck with hormone symptoms. So I'm going to come from a place of talking about just a normal menstrual cycle that does not include a ton of PMS or PMDD or those changes. I am going to mention that toward the end when they show up and how that does affect your habits and your spending. But I'm going to be talking about a menstrual cycle that is not a roller coaster ride that's like whipping you around like crazy because that is not normal and that is something I can help you fix. But I'm coming from a place of more of these gentle waves because we are different throughout the phases of our cycle, but it's not bad and it's just how our bodies work. And so we're coming from a perspective of your menstrual cycle can be more like these kind of like gentle waves at the beach and like things do change and they flow and they have and like when you're at the beach, it's never the same. Like the sunset always looks different. The waves look different. Like it's always a little different, but it can be predictable and it can be like a pretty smooth ride is what I just want to like just cement in as we're starting this conversation. So what that can look like is throughout your cycle, this is for women who are cycling normally and are not taking hormonal birth control. It's a little bit just muted with birth control, but probably still there. So still listen. If you're past your periods, if you're in menopause, this doesn't affect you as much, but you think back to what it was like before. But when you start phase one is your menstrual phase. I'm just going to talk about four weeks of the cycle essentially. So if every phase I say we're just talking about the week. So menstrual phase is when you're bleeding. Okay. And so what that means for your brain is that your estrogen and progesterone are lower, which causes your some of your neurotransmitters to be lower. Okay. So dopamine is one that I'm going to talk about a lot. That's a neurotransmitter that is associated with this like thrill seeking. We talk about it a lot with social media and just if this you're wanting to seek some sort of even thrill is like almost too much of a word, but some sort of like stimulation. And so when dopamine is lower on your period, what this does for your brain is that it is a really great time for you to be more intuitive, more inward focused, introspective and emotionally honest. So this is a time where when we're talking money, this is the perfect time for you to be actually budgeting to be making plans for your money. And you're going to come from a pretty realistic place. Now, if we just are being really honest, this is going to be the most probably if you're someone who like has some ups and downs throughout your cycle or someone who might be like, like really social some of the month and really not social some of the month. If you're making your plans during your period, you need to account for the person that you are a couple weeks later. So just think about that. Okay. But during your period, you can make some really good rational plans. It's a great time for reviewing your spending from the last month and really thinking through things, being honest with yourself with what you've been doing and reassessing goals. So this phase is actually usually pretty good where we are not as tempted to be doing things like impulse buying or like social based purchases. We just have a little bit less social comparison typically during this time with the lower neurotransmitters. And we when dopamine is low, new things don't feel as worth the energy. So you just may not be like, as, okay, I need to try something new. I need to like try this new thing and buy this new thing. And so that's okay. And he's one menstrual phase. Okay, so what I'm hearing is you just need to hibernate and make a budget. Like, you know, the one thing that I've naturally begin with your money there in that week, one thing I've learned, which is not a lot because I'm kind of, you know, like a bullet in a China shop, but it is be nice to yourself during this week. That's that's what I learned. Like you're, as you said, you're, you're going through a lot like you're running a marathon, but you don't even know it right. So be nice to yourself. And so I think, like, just be give yourself some time off, like hibernate a little bit, snuggle up, make your budget, because you're got you got the good angel brain is what I'm hearing. Yes. And so I like that. Yeah, no, I think so too. And I loved at the beginning when you were talking because you said, you know, you we make humans. We have hormones. There's a reason why our body does what it does because we're making humans. And I remember a long time ago, I saw this woman, she was very pregnant. And she had a Halloween costume and it was Wonder Woman. And she had written on the belly, I make humans what's your superpower. And I thought we have a right to be sometimes a little crazy when we things going on in our body because our bodies are literally made to make humans. And that is a lot. There's a lot going on there. But to be able to understand, be aware and know what's going on is so helpful day to day, right? And as you're living. Well, and I'm excited for you to dive into the next phases because maybe everybody wouldn't have thought that this week is the week that you're rational. Yeah, I don't think I would have thought that at all. I don't know. And I don't want to, I'm not being ugly to any of us. I totally agree with what you're saying. Like all of this is, is, you know, by God's design, honestly, it's normal. It's great. We just have to figure out how to make it work for us, which is what we're doing today. But I'm just saying, honestly, I don't know if I would have put this week as the one like this is your budget week. But I do, I do want to point out the thing that you said, which is the way I've heard it is don't write a check this week that two weeks later version of you won't want to cash, right? So you're so when you say that, like, you're saying, what do you mean by that exactly? Like you said, you said, well, I'll just let you answer and stop talking. Okay, so something that I want to say is there is always nuance to this and I am trying to give you like the best now shut my can in a short period of time. So if you're listening to this and you're like, okay, I really want to understand this more come over to my podcast happily hormonal and just search like happily hormonal cycle thinking cycle tracking something like that. I have many episodes. I also have a little cheat sheet guide that is a lot of my show notes so you can download that like you'll see these are the episodes that I want on this. So I have so much more for you with that being said, there is some nuance. What I see as like the lowest phase of the cycle mood wise, especially when some things are off minerals and like just hormones are off is it really is that last few days before your period starts and sometimes the first couple days of your period. So if you're like, that's me. This is my low time. Then that may not be the time that you actually have any energy to budget but maybe like day three of your brain. You're like, I'm back. I'm like, I'm good. I'm very rational now. Like I've gotten through the rough patch. So use this information and test it on yourself because that is going to be the best case scenario. So what I meant with thinking about who you are two weeks from now, this is when we go into follicular and ovulation. So follicular and ovulation, this is just when your body is essentially getting that egg that you've had cooking in there for a long time, getting it ready to ovulate. Eggs in both ovaries that are getting ready to ovulate and there's a little follicle holding each of these eggs and whichever egg gets biggest first and is ready to ovulate, the hormones tell it to do it. This little follicle will release the egg. And so this is why it's called follicular phase. And when that egg is released is when ovulation. So your estrogen is rising that second week of your cycle say like the past day seven to about when you ovulate, which a lot of women ovulate somewhere around day 14. It does vary, but somewhere around that middle of your cycle, you've got a lot of estrogen rising that second week. And this is the week where you are most fertile. So if we think about you are most fertile, it means you are most social. You are glowing, your skin looks great. Right because of the design of our bodies where they are made to be fertile and to produce new life. Like you are going to be most physically attractive, most emotionally attractive, like you're on this week. And this does continue a little bit past ovulation. So I'm talking about this follicular ovulation phase I'm talking about around 10 days about in the middle of your cycle. So say like day seven to 17, 18, something like that is this phase. This is the phase where you are a different person, maybe a little different or maybe a lot different than you were on your period. And so if you planned your period brain said, I am rational, I don't overspend. This is me. This is when I budget. I just realized this a couple of months ago. And I'm like, I will not spend any extra money this month. I totally have this together. When I'm full. When I'm full. I'm out with my kids. We're doing fun stuff. They're like, Mom, can we buy this? And I'm like, I'm a fun mom. Of course you can. And that's who I really am at that point. But if I plan to be in my period brain the entire month, which is what I've been doing. And then I forget who I am halfway through the month, who is actually like my favorite version of me who wants to have some fun. That version of me needs a budget that's going to have a little wiggle room for that's going to have that spending money available at that time. Unless I'm just going to blow everything. And so what that means when we're fullicular, when we have this and ovulation, we have higher estrogen, actually higher testosterone as well. We have more dopamine and stabilized serotonin. We're going to be more curious, more optimistic. It actually is a great phase for researching and goal setting and planning because we have this like really optimistic brain, but we keep it realistic. But there is a higher reward sensitivity and higher social comparison again, because if we're thinking about fertility, we're thinking about being attractive, being out, being creative, like all of these things. There is a little bit more sensitivity to social pressures and things like that. And then even what I just said, you're feeling fun, right? You want to do the fun things. And so this is a highest risk phase for impulse buying, especially like over optimism. And then I loved this when I was doing this research. I saw this wording that this will change my life spending. Guilty. So guilty, right? And so it's okay. These things that you're like in this moment, this feels like so important that it's worth changing my plans for. If you were to take a beat and say, hey, I'm going to make a choice to like reassess this in a week versus spending now, that could make a huge difference. But even if you just know, like I said, this version of you is coming. And this is the time you save your spending money for this time, right? And if this is when I get my spending money, because this is when I'm going to, because it is after your risk tolerance phase. I just heard someone talking about yesterday how they buy all these things, or it was at the beach this weekend, she buys these things to solve problems in her life. And this reminds me of this follicular, whatever, late phase. Yeah, like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to fix the, the beads on the couch or whatever. And then I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. And then just end up with all of these things, all of these to-dos that you don't actually want, know how to do or want to do once you're, once you get to the point. And so I was like, ooh, our listeners would identify with that. So to your point, Lisa, exactly put it in the cart. That's what we tell people, put it in the cart and think about it. Like give, give yourself like a couple minutes to think of this is actually going to change my life. Or if I'm like you said, I'm on a stove of me in this creative vibe, like, oh, life is going to be amazing. And just give yourself a minute. And I would hope. Well, that's what I was thinking too. Like the ad, this is where ad to cart comes into handy for them, especially on Amazon. Just put that baby there, store it there for a little bit. But I think that this is so relevant for the conversations that we have with our clients. Because sometimes they're like, I don't need any spending money. And then like, I need all the spending money. There's nothing for me. Right. So they go in these waves of wanting money for themselves to spend and then they don't need anything. We're not going to spend anything. And we see it constantly because we meet with them on a regular cycle, the first and third weeks of each month. But that changes based on if there's four or five weeks in a month. So that is always changing as we're meeting with them. So their moods are changing, their hormones are changing, like every the time of the month for them is changing. And so we have these wonderful conversations with our clients. And that's why we tell them spending money for yourself is non-negotiable. Because when you want to spend money, you need to have it there. Doesn't matter if the next two weeks you don't touch it. Doesn't mean you're not going to spend it. It just means you don't need it at that moment. Yeah. And also to make it automatic. So, you know, I think some of this learning about yourself and your hormones and your cycle, you know, do yourself a favor and set some things up to where you don't have to, you don't have to do anything in the moment. You don't have to make these decisions. Yeah. Yeah. These decisions as you're changing, use your better your, your middle self, I guess we got to find the middle self where you're, you're a balance between rational and super optimistic, right? And, and just come up with something that you can, that you're going to stick with every month, month after month, so that you don't have to make the decision in the moment. And that aligns with your fun mom, that aligns with your, your period itself that's like trying to build a nest egg or something, whatever she's doing. And so, but just set it and forget it because we don't want you to have to remember, add another thing to your to-do list, rely on willpower. And, but also at the same time, we want you to have some spending money when you want, you know, so that's kind of why we teach it that way. Yeah. This is why the automatic, the automatic part of our system is so important. So there's no decisions required throughout the month. Yes. For when you forget who you were and are again. All right, budget besties. It's time for surreal talk. You don't need another budget. You need a budget system. Our simplified budget system is what you've been looking for. It's going to allow you to be bougie on a budget. You'll be able to easily set up a system that runs automatically and shows you exactly where your money is going. And it's going to give you permission to spend. Everybody loves that. Yeah. It's straightforward, pretty and packed with walkthrough videos that break down the exact methods we use with our clients to get out of debt, set up a bills account, separate spending, build savings buckets and end the paycheck to paycheck feel. If you're new to budgeting, this is the perfect way to jump in. And if you're already a budget nerd like us, you're about to meet your new obsession. This is the upgrade to your finances that you need right now. Yeah. So head on over to budgetbesties.com forward slash budget and grab yours. Now back to today's show. Okay. I have one more phase that I'll go through real quickly. And so this is about the last 10 days of the month. So if we're talking maybe days like 18 through 28, something like that, depending on your length of cycle. And this is the Lutial phase. And so this is the phase that comes from the follicle that I talked about. I just think this is cool to have to say this, even though it's maybe not so relevant to this podcast, but the little follicle that's holding your egg collapses and becomes a temporary organ that makes a hormone called progesterone for the rest of your month. For about two weeks, this is what keeps you pregnant if you get pregnant. And it's just this teeny tiny little microscope or like almost microscopic organ that's temporary that makes this hormone that makes such a difference in your mood and your neurotransmitters in your metabolism. It's such an important hormone for women. And so this hormone is supposed to be dominant in the Lutial phase. If you have enough progesterone, you're not making too much estrogen, you're not having a lot of hormone symptoms. This can be a phase that is really stable and like a calm phase for your body. Many, many women do not feel that way because they're a hormone of balances. But what we see in the Lutial phase ideally is that dopamine just drops a little bit and so it's not high, it's not low, it's in this like happy medium range. Like you're saying, let's find this like medium place. This is the medium place. This is like especially early part of the Lutial phase. And for many women who do have balanced hormones, it actually can be the whole Lutial phase. But this is where you have a calm energy. You have follow through your task oriented. This is the best phase for staying the course. Okay, you budgeted at the beginning of the month, you're 20 days in, you're staying the course, paying bills, executing, executing plans. Like just like executive function is high. With that being said, especially toward the end those last couple of days, even in a normal like functional cycle, this is where we do have a lower tolerance for stress. We do need safety and we need rest and predictability. So this is where you probably would be most upset about what you have done during the month if you have gone outside of your plans. What that looks like. This can be especially if there is PMS, PMDD, where you are feeling really down, anxious, irritable, not yourself at any point in this part of your cycle. This is when that shows up. And this is from estrogen and progesterone being imbalanced with some causes neurotransmitters to be imbalanced. And this is all something that can be fixed really pretty simply. But you will have a much higher risk for comfort spending at that point. So maybe it's just like eating out a bunch of times. Maybe it's like you want new clothes. Maybe it's something like that that you're just like comfort spending. And definitely ice cream. But that is where you are more likely to have that kind of spending, especially if things are imbalanced. So it actually costs you more money to have imbalanced hormones than to be balanced throughout your cycle where you can stay more rational. Just to recap, the most stable times would be during your period, maybe after that first day or two if you're having a rough time for that first week or so of your cycle. And then once ovulation is passed, there's another solid week or so that you are feeling pretty stable. So those would be the most stable times. And then when you are around ovulation, feeling that high, more willing to take risks essentially. That would be a time where impulse spending and like social spending comes up a lot more. And then potentially at the end of your cycle, if you're having a hard time and you just want to feel good and you just want to buy things. So those would be the times to watch for and really just I hope that you can take away from this and think, okay, I really see some of this in my patterns. And I'm going to start maybe setting a notification on my phone or having a journal prompt where I actually check in at this phase of my cycle and just say, what have I been doing? Or look at my, if you're tracking your spending, let me look back at those five days around ovulation. What was I doing? You might be able to see those patterns in yourself so you can start to make changes more easily. Love that. And I love how you said that it costs more to have your hormones and balance for them to be. I think that that's very true. Shane and I talk about being internally healthy. You can make so much better decisions on everything in your life. Doesn't matter what it, you know, and we just, we know that it starts there and you can either pay for your health now, right? The cost of your health now or you can pay for a later. And so really focusing on getting healthy and being the best version of you is going to help you long term. Yeah. So the way we would show that in your budget is we would love for you to have health and supplements. They'd expect it. Yeah. A category versus a, you know, necessarily a medical one. Obviously everybody is going to have to go to the doctor at some point. But, you know, that's what Vanessa is saying down the line, having to pay for some of the less healthy things that are going on in our younger years. That's what we're trying to avoid because a lot of times people hear budget and they think no spending, no money, rice and beans, like all of that kind of stuff. And that's where we're trying to be different. It's like your health is the best investment that you can make. So go ahead and do that. So I think that they can go to your podcast and listen and get some ideas, get some strategies. I think for what we're talking about here today, I think understanding, to me, the thing I go back to is being compassionate with yourself. Like, first of all, the first step of that is what you just did is understand, like, just identify, right? And then if you know those things now, be compassionate with yourself in those phases and try to adjust your life, your practices, your journal prompts, whatever, to them. And so that you're not trying to get these external things that are not going to fix anything. They're all of them, you know, spending, buying something on Amazon did not fix anything. Having the ice cream, maybe it did, maybe it didn't. I don't know, whatever. But what can we do to be more compassionate, be more aware of our day to day, what we're actually practicing, so that we're taking care of ourselves and we don't necessarily have to, you know, swipe a credit card to make ourselves feel better? Well, and I also think not calling yourself a failure in those moments, right? So if you know and you're more aware of how you're acting throughout the month because of your hormones, you're more like Shayna said, you're going to be more compassionate and be like, oh, I don't suck with money. I'm not terrible. I'm not this. I'm not that. This is literally how my brain is working right now. And so I just need to adjust and that is okay. And I think it's helpful for our partners, our husbands to understand too, so that they can also give compassion and maybe more accountability during that time. If that's something that I personally would need is I just truly am like, no, but I'm fun now. So we do fun things, right? And that's what's fun. It's fun, Lisa. And so just, I think just knowing that about yourself, right? I'm also an Enneagram7. So fun is like a very high value of mine. And so that's where I go off track sometimes, but it always feels worth it to be honest with that being said. I, if you've, if you've been listening to this conversation, like, okay, I would love to understand these things at a deeper level, but easy. I just created a new private podcast so that you can in three short episodes, about 20 minutes, just like about how long you've been listening to this. You can understand a little better what's going on in your body and what will actually be some of the first steps to help. I work with busy moms who often are running businesses or homeschooling or working or like other things like they're not just eating bonbons. Like we hear some fantastic women are doing at some point. They are live in life. And so I will give you some of the first steps to understand, not only understand your body a little bit better, but like, this is what you need to do to stabilize and keep it very simple for those of us who have a lot going on. I do have that and we can put that in the show notes just to give you a place to like really start things. Yeah. And if they wanted to search for it, is it, is it searchable or you have to have the link because it's a private one. You have to have the link. Yeah. Okay, we'll definitely put that in there. Yeah. Well, Lisa, thank you so much for coming on guys. Go find her on her podcast. It's happily hormonal. Like it's the cutest fun name. How can you not go over there and check it out? I can't go wrong. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for coming on. Yeah. This has been really fun. If you're tired of feeling like your finances are all over the place and you're ready for a simple, set it and forget it way to budget, we have something special for you. Watch our automate your budget masterclass at budgetbestos.com forward slash auto me. We'll show you step by step how to finally organize your money, how to set up your accounts and put your budget on autopilot. So your bills, saving and spending run like clockwork. Imagine less stress, more savings and the freedom to spend money without having to track every dollar or babysit your bank account. Go to budgetbestos.com forward slash automate to start today.