Sarah Gadon asks about house pets

This is a Head Gump podcast. In partnership with Airbnb, let's talk a little bit about travel. Tig, as you know, I'm about to go on my first big tour around the United States. And while I'm traveling in a bus, I want to make sure I get a couple nights in a nice comfy bed that's not on wheels. So I'm going to book a couple nights stay on Airbnb. That sounds like a plan, Mae. What area are you looking? Well, I'm going to be in Florida, which I'm very excited about. I'd love to find somewhere with a hot tub or a sauna that I can relax in. Maybe some nice nature nearby, like a big park or something. I love finding a home on Airbnb because I know I can get the place all to myself and I can read tons of reviews and make sure it's a great place. Airbnb also has guest favorites badges that show me the highest rated and most loved homes. I've just never gone wrong booking one of those. You know, I swam with sharks in Florida. Is that something you would ever try? I hadn't thought about that. But if I'm near the ocean, then who knows? Maybe I will. On the other hand, if I find a really nice place on Airbnb, I may just never want to leave. Hey, Handsomes. We have a very special live show coming up for the holidays on Monday, December 22nd. Join in the fun and festivities from anywhere in the world by getting your tickets at the link in our social media bio or at dynastytypewriter.com. Your ticket will allow you to stream the show anytime for a full week. It's the perfect gift for you and all the handsome folks in your life. It's going to be so fun. So go to dynastytypewriter.com or follow the link in our bio and get your ticket for our December 22nd show today. Ho, ho, ho. Handsome. Chattin' the friends on the Handsome Pot. Chattin' the friends on the Handsome Pot. Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pot. Oh, do you want to do it? No, I just kind of croaked. I just went, what? What? Look up to the Handsome Pot. It's me, your friend, Tig Notaro. Yay, Tig. Yay, Fortune. It's me, Fortune. And me, May. Yay, May. And me, May. And we're in an improv troupe. What's this app? What's our improv name? I have one. What is it? I have a name. Okay. Improv troupe. Not bad. What about Two Against One? And all our scenes that are Two Against One. I like that. Okay. I like that. I like that. Let's go. What do you have? I suggested Improv Troupe. You did. You suggested Two Against One. How about Dumpster Tits? Yeah, that's pretty strong. That feels... I thought it was a good concept for... Directed it one of us. I thought of a good concept for an improv show, guys. You did what? I thought of a good concept for an improv show. So I had Lisa Gilroy friend of the pod. Friend of the pod? At my house. Very funny person. Truly the funniest. Yeah, and we were... I was in heaven because we were playing Alanis Morissette songs and singing in our best voice. I love Alanis. I was playing guitar. She was on drums. You sang with her. Stop. My bestie. Stop. I knew that was coming. My best friend, Alanis. So balloon. Well, I have to come up with complicated ways to get Alanis' attention and this is one of them. It's because we're playing a What's the Matter, Mary Jane from Jagged Little Pill. Lisa's singing... Like, there's no end to her talents, Lisa. She's singing stunningly, like belting out these tunes. So we decided, or one of our ideas is we're going to do an improv show where we play every song on the album and there's a scene themed around each song. So there's a scene that's highly ironic. There's a scene that's head over heels. There's a scene that's, if you're flawless, then you'll win my love. You know, whatever. But we played the songs in between. Anyway, sorry to start the pod with this, but... I can't wait. I can't wait to tell my bestie, Alanis, about this. Do you have her number? No, I never got her number. I have it. Do you actually? No. Oh my God. No. No. You know this number I have? Who? It will blow your mind. Who? I don't know if I ever texted with him, but he... How'd you... This is a real bit... Whoa. Whoa. Oh, whoa. Whoa. Oh God, who is that? I think I have his number and... Oh, who is it? Let me see. Who is that? Warren. Warren. Beatty? Yes. Warren Beatty? Yes, indeed. I have Warren Beatty. And you just have his first name in there? It was either Beatty or Buffett. Warren Beat could go either way. Oh my God. I have never texted him, but we have mutual friends. He and Annette and Stephanie and I have mutual friends and we have socialized with them. Oh, hilarious. Do we send him a pic? No? A selfie of all three of us? Yeah. Oh my God. What a gorgeous man. Oh man. He was part of that whole Oscars debacle. What do you mean? I don't remember that. What Oscars debacle? They named the wrong best picture. Where they said Moonlight and then it was Lollaland? It was, yeah. How did that happen? They were given the wrong card or something. Yeah. But why was there ever a card with the wrong information? It was from the previous year. It was from the previous category or something. That was crazy. Oh, he announced it? He, it was him and Faye Dunaway were on the, and they both kind of tried to throw each other out of the buzz. It was a whole, that was... And were they really trying to throw each other into the buzz? Because I think it was, one of them paused and the other one was like, just read it or something. Oh my God. The person who paused it, might have been Faye, was like, but this isn't right. Classic Faye. Oh my God. And they read it and it caused that whole thing. I love an Oscar's blunder like that, like Adele D'Azim famously. You never forget about it. Adele D'Azim was classic as well. That's a gift from the universe. Adele D'Azim. What are some other Oscar blunders? Well, the slap. Well, that was a really weird one. The slap hurt all around the world. All around the world. What else is there been? Because there are very few live events now. Yeah. Other than sports. And Conan's hosting this year, right? Uh-huh, again. And we're doing our tap dancing. Oh, right. And we are going to tap dance, right, behind him. Can you tell Conan that? Can you let him know? Let him know. We need to get on our tap classes then. I think it's less on us and more on, if people want to see it, they need to start a formal petition like we need to, we need to, we need, so the support of our community. Maybe our way to get to that is the Golden Globes finally has a podcast category. Do they? We're not nominated. Don't worry. Who has the Golden Globes? The Golden Globes? The Golden Globes? It has a podcast category. Oh, I feel like. I've been on this year. Not to be. Am I crazy? Yeah, no. It's true. But you're also crazy. Crazy. But could we be the presenters? You would, I mean. I say yes. You would think. And we come out and tap. And we come out and tap shoes. Yeah. And we don't tap dance. And we don't tap. We just are loud. Like a horn. Like a horn. Like a horn. Like a horn. That would be a good suit. A good suit. Our horse. Yeah. But people need to see us. You think the smart-less guys are going to wear a horse suit? No. They're just going to be cool and suave. We're going to get in a horse suit. Yeah. Yeah. What are they hosting? No. No, but they have a podcast. Do they? I did that to Jason during the Zootopia press. Someone asked him about his podcast. I went, you have a podcast? He was like, hilarious. Well, I don't, who's phone number do you have in your home? Oh, yeah. Who do you have that would be like, what? I feel like I've, any one of note that I know, I've, I've shamelessly milked for the pod and tried to get a question from. There's no big surprises. I know. We're hitting up all our friends. Yeah. Who do you have in your phone that might surprise us? Well, it wouldn't surprise you. Nally Mainz. Yeah. But something that surprised, like you didn't think I had Warren Beatty's number? No, I wouldn't. I certainly didn't think that. Do I have anyone super famous? You, I know you have a lot more than I do in my phone. You know what trend I like? Like, cause it would be really funny if you busted out a name of an obscure childhood friend of mine that I've never talked to. Yeah. I'm just using his number. Ian Peach. How did, yeah, Ian Peach. What you think I don't? What you think I don't? What you think I don't watch your content? That was crazy. Baby cakes. Wait, that's the guy you had a crush on as a child. Ian Peach was my first boyfriend. But how did you remember that? How did you remember that? Amazing. That was very Tom Cruise of you. That was cool. That was, that is Tom Cruise of you. Thank you guys. I like, have you seen the trend on like Instagram and TikTok where people go to their grandparents who don't know they're being filmed and they go, oh God, I'm so hungry. I could eat Charles McCaffrey or something. And they go, what? What? Charles McCaffrey. They go, how do you know that name? I haven't thought about him in 60 years. I could eat Charles McCaffrey. They say I could eat. Yeah. And then a random name from their grandparents' childhood. That is so funny. I'm just going through my context though. Brandy Corral. What? The best, not surprising. What? What? What? What about an elderly male actor? Do I pull that out? Arnold, well, he doesn't have a phone number but have his email. He doesn't have a phone. He doesn't have a phone. He doesn't have a phone. No, he uses an iPad. Oh, okay, cool. Well, this is leading to nothing other than me not communicating with you guys on this podcast. Do you have Tignotide? I have Will Ferrell's phone number. Okay. Did we call him? I mean, this is just a tease. I can't call him. Can we prank? Can we prank call him? We block your number. No, I'm not prank call him. Oh my God, let's prank call Warren Beatty. Oh my God. We need to. I have a handyman's phone number. Oh, sure, I shared that. What's his name? What's his name? His name was John. Okay. This is Tailing. This is Terrible. This is Terrible. This is Tailing. This is bad. This is just name dropping. Wait, what if I just dialed. John the knight from New Kids on the Block. I wish I had asked him for a question. How do we get this episode back on track? Back on track. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Back on track. Back on track. Oh, I thought you were going to say nominated for an Oscar at the Academy Award. Yeah, well, we're submitting this episode for sure. This one will be the one that takes place. What sounds fancier, Oscar or Academy Award? Academy Award. Academy Award. Yeah. Oscar is like... Oscar is like... You used to get so angry at me. Academy Award. Yeah. I have a weird thing that happened related to you, which is, I mentioned this the other night, but I got a package that I assumed was from you, but it was addressed to you. And it was from Willie Nelson, has like a THC drink. Oh yeah, I got it. Did you get that? But it was addressed to me. Okay, I got tigs. Okay. So it was from... I didn't get mine. Well, I assumed that... It's like an alcohol with THC in it, right? No alcohol just like... Oh, no alcohol. And Willie's just high packing these up and it's happening. You're going high, Tig and May are interchangeable. They're like, I don't know, they both have a short hair. So I got... You were always on my mind. I thought maybe because you don't get high typically, you were like, I don't know, but... And then I don't really. So it's been sitting in my kitchen and then my roommate, I mean, my friend Matt and his girlfriend live in my back house. So they came in and we were watching a movie and my roommate's girlfriend was like, I want some of that. And she's from China. She doesn't smoke weed. And what is being from China have to do? It's so illegal. Oh, right, right, right. Like it is so prison right there. It is so prison. It is so prison. Girl, that is so prison. Girl, that is so prison. Girl, that is so prison. Oh my God. We're going to start a new saying. That's girl, that is so prison. Girl, that's so prison. Girl, that's so prison. And what does it mean like hardcore? It's like, I don't know. We just were making it up. Yeah, it's so illegal. Yeah. It's so illegal. Oh my God, girl, that's so prison. That is girl. So she's like, I want to try it. And we were all like, I don't know if, you know, it might be kind of strong. And she was like, no, I really want to. So my friend made her a drink with it, like some soda water and ice. And she drinks it. We didn't have any. And then I kind of forgot that she'd had it. And like 45 minutes go by. She jumped off the building. And she's no longer with us. No, she goes totally silent. And then I go, Leslie, how are you doing, by the way? Do you feel anything? And she goes, she goes, no. I don't think I feel anything. But my soul has shrunk. And I went, what? And she said, my soul has shrunk. And now there's space between my soul and my body. And I was like, let's just take that away from you. Isn't that wild? And then, um. How long has she been in the States? Only four months or something, five months. And had she ever had any THC? Once before, she said. So her body's just like not really. Oh, her body's just like what is happening. She was, she had a great night. How old is she? 35, I think, 33. Oh man. Interesting. But it cracks me up. And also, because English is not her first language. And so she uses language so intentionally. And so, and it always says exactly what she means. And like, you know what I mean? So to say my soul has shrunk. And I kind of know that feeling where you're like inside yourself. There's a. That's really interesting when you said she uses language intentionally, so she says exactly what she means. So it's like, that would be a really great and interesting romantic relationship to be in. Because. Oh, the cultural differences between them too are hilarious. And but just like saying something you mean. So directly. And it's like, OK. Well, she was saying that in like, in English, or like we'll say I love you or these romantic things. And in China, they don't say that as much. But instead, if you say something poetic about the moon, it means you're saying I love you. So if you go, the moon's looking pretty milky. Literally. May they not milky. Milky moon. It's a milky. Wow. You love me? Yeah. It's the hots for me. That's interesting. She's amazing. She really did like the moon, though. I know. Yeah. And then you're like. And you didn't like the person. Yeah. Even though the moon was clearly so milky. Gorgeous. Milky. Yeah. She said the other night, and she's pretty quiet. And all of a sudden, she said, have you ever eaten an orange right after you have a sauna or a hot bath? I was like, I don't think so. And she said, if you do that, you will have 100% happiness. I was like, really? And she said, yeah, 100%. You're going to taste the orange from the top of your head. Like, it is going to be euphoria. So I was like, I got to try this. And she had an orange in the back house. So she brought out the orange. And she went to bed. And then so later in the night, I get ready for bed. And then I go in the sauna. And then I have my big moment. But I forgot I brushed my teeth. So it tasted like toothpastey orange. But then after that, past, I did have some happiness. Wow. What is my life? I don't know what she intended. What is my life? Just sitting in the dark alone, eating an orange in a sauna. Going, well. I have. But I brushed my teeth. I have. She said 100% happiness. And I did eat an orange after brushing my teeth. And I did feel some happiness. Something happened. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. 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When I'm around the house, Bombus has me covered as well with their super comfy and lightweight EVA, the Friday Sandal. And underneath it all, pillowy soft base layers that are so flexible and breathable, I won't leave the house without them. And for every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. So head over to bombus.com slash handsome and use code handsome for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash handsome. Code handsome at checkout. Throw to Fortune. Yeah. Fortune has life. Yeah. My life, what's happening? Oh, my mom did have some good news, which was nice because last time we talked about her, it was looking like nothing was working. And that was bumming all of us out. Of course. And she, you know, her cancer is incurable, so it's never going, it's not going away, but some of the really big tumors have shrunk. Oh, great. So that was- Is she on trials? She was on, just on chemo. Oh, oh, right, right, right, right. And they said that they, she took, she was scheduled for like eight rounds, but she said oftentimes people her age can only do like four. Their body can only handle like four rounds and she's done seven. And so they, the doctors were really pleased with how much she was able to handle. Right now her bone marrow is super low, so she has to go off of it to try to just rest, to get that back up. But she had a tumor the size of a lime, that's now the size of a grape. Whoa. So that was a big positive. That's very significant. So she's potentially a candidate for this surgery. She's not a candidate for certain surgeries that could get rid of stuff. There's too much cancer in there, but she's a candidate for some surgery that would help dissipate some stuff some more. And they were keep reminding her, this will not get rid of it, it's not going away. So we don't want you to think this is like a fix, but it could help with longevity. So she's getting a couple second opinions on that and then we'll see. That is amazing. So yeah, some positive stuff. She's a horse, man. She's like, I'm just gonna, I mean, the fact that she's done so many rounds is insane. She must have been like buoyed by that news too. Like, yeah. It came at a good time, because I think her spirits were starting to get pretty low. Like she had done all these rounds and nothing was happening. And it was her only avenue at the time was chemo or immunotherapy and or immunotherapy. So if they didn't work, there was not much else we could do. So to have some results finally, I think made her just put a pep in her step for sure. I like that. That's great. So. So that was good news. And that made me very happy. So I've been. And when did you get that news? A week ago. Okay. That's great. Yeah. And you're filming? Oh, sorry. People are texting me. I mean, is it morning? Is that the new kids in the block? Yeah. Yeah. Other than that, life is, I've just been working. Life is good. We're filming together tomorrow. I know, man. I, What if I get the giggles looking at you? I can't look at you. You might. I might not be able to look at you. May is going to be doing a guest star on the Will Ferrell show. And we're going to be scene partners. I can't wait. Oh my God. I can't wait. Maybe we should get them to put the glistening stuff on our arms like you got in wayward. Oh, like a contour. Well, I have full tattoo sleeves. Oh. In what I'm filming tomorrow. Yeah. Which I liked it. They tried it out. I kind of liked how it looked. Yeah. I don't think they're going to, my character is not sexy at all in this show. Speak, I mean, It says you. Yeah. What are you talking about? You'll see when you see the show, the outfits they have me in. They did show me some of the, Or not. They did show me some of the outfits. Or not sexy. They're insane. You know, there's someone for everyone. Yeah, I guess so. Yes, there is someone for everyone. I look like a vintage 90s lesbian in the outfits they have me in. It's incredible. Is this from set today? How dare you? How dare you? What is this, a roast? That was weird. We already decided we're not roasters. No, we're not roasters. I am a ribber. You do rib. And I do enjoy being ribbed. Yeah. So. Are you done with Toronto? Are you? No, I go back and forth. Oh, really? And as I said, I was supposed to do a part on Fortune's show, but I couldn't because I was in my space suit. I wonder if it's the part I'm doing. I can't imagine. No, because I'm in town. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you need to tell casting that the three of us need to be in a scene together. In everything that did everything. Yeah, and he was the... And then I'm gonna tell Star Trek. Please, give us a suit. Give us a suit. Be fit for your space suit. At the window of the spaceship. The long-awaited oracle. I would have a hard time learning all that space jargon. Yeah. I think they've given up on me and they just give me like quips and stuff. That's perfect. They don't try to get to be like, throw open the sonic transducers. Oh, may would be good with that. What is a transducer? I think that's a line from Rocky Horror Picture Show, actually, that I was just trying to... Okay. I mean, it's the 50th anniversary of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Nice. It's the 60th anniversary of Star Trek. Is it really? And guess, I never thought writing jokes and doing stand-up would not only lead to Star Trek, but for the 60th anniversary of Star Trek, I'm going to be in the Rose Parade. No. On the Star Trek collars. I don't know what that is. It's in LA, right? It's in the Rose Parade? Yeah. It's on New Year's Day. In Pasadena. Yeah. And it's just this gigantic televised parade and it's like they have five actors from previous and current Star Trek iterations. Shatner? I don't think Shatner. They haven't announced Shatner. I wonder if it would be George Zekair's? Yeah, George is in it and then Rebecca... Oh my. Oh my. Are you going to be in your costume, like in character? I don't know. I just was asked to do it and I was like, I've got to do the Rose Parade. Yeah, that's fun. Maybe is Stephanie going to come watch from somewhere with Max and Finn? Stephanie, Max and Finn and her mom, I believe, are going... I'm going to text her and try to get in there. I want to wave at you. You should. I love you. I don't think, because they're very like, they can only get me four VIP tickets. Oh, I don't even want VIP. I just want to be by the side of the road. Oh, oh, sure. That's all, that's all you. Go for it. Yeah, have fun. Some cider. Yeah. That'll be fun. Yeah, that'll be really... I think it will be. Yeah. I've grown up and visiting Mississippi and New Orleans and stuff for Mardi Gras. I certainly, my family would have like a float and I would be on it waving. Oh, really? Did you see boobies? I don't use that word. Was that a weird question? I don't think Mardi Gras, there's lots of New Orleans. There's lots, there's lots, yeah, yeah. Kind of the Rose Parade. You know, I'm seeing in New, there's Mardi Gras parades all over the place and the ones in like New Orleans, yeah. Oh, this is your hometown. Well, there's also the small town parades where people aren't necessarily taking their shirts off. They're lost. Have you done the New Orleans one? No, I mean, I've been to it. Oh, yeah, I've been to that many times. Are there boobies? Oh, they're everywhere. Oh, God, I gotta go. You gotta go. Yeah, of course, love the boobs. And let's go to commercial. Love the boobs and the butts. Oh, yeah. You gay. I'm pretty gay. Yeah. I'm gay. I'm like, gay. Gay. I'm real gay, y'all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love a lady. Yeah. Yes, yes, you do. Speaking of ladies, should we get to our question? Dream like a lady. What's a fortune singer? Thank you. I'm getting another text. God, I'm so popular. It's from Thomas. I'm saying stop saying. Treat her like a lady. It's the best you can do. We need to get a handsome float at the Rose Parade. I know. I'm so excited about our question asker. Yeah. Because she's a Canadian icon. She played Laura in Wayward. That's your wife? My wife. My wife. And she's also just been in so much amazing stuff. Today's, what? Take, just look at me. She did the, My wife. The boy. The boy. And this one went, Okay, today's question asker is a Canadian actor who starred in films like Bell, Enemy, and Dracula Untold. Also, Alias Grace is such an amazing show. She also stars as Laura. My wife. My wife. My wife. On the hit Netflix miniseries, Wayward, Sarah Gaten is asking today's question. Yes, Sarah. She's so pretty. The most pretty. Prettier than me. No one's. No one's prettier than you, too. Thank you. Hey, handsome. Excuse my appearance. I'm in the middle of moving houses this week and I was walking down the street and I saw this little cat. Oh. I didn't think if you had to be a house pet, what house pet would you be? Wait, that's just a random cat. She's just like, That's a random, yeah, but that's her. We're just getting the information too, fortune. She looked like, like, you know, Bell from Beauty and the Beast that's just like in the village like, And animals are just approaching her. Oh, this is cat and that's a, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That's sort of her energy. Right? Well, definitely people are magnetized. Yeah, but she doesn't have to do much for that to happen. I get that. I have that a lot. Yeah, that was just. Oh, I'm so tired of all my magnetism. I'm so magnetic and good looking that people just work, you know, like you guys can really talk right now. It's true. I can't talk because I saw a kitty. Oh my God. Kitty city. A random, I am feeding this stray cat by my house and then I worry about him in the rain. Yeah. Anyway. You don't worry about him otherwise. No, he can take care of him. So like he's, someone must be, I mean, I feed him, someone must be taking care of him. There's a lot of outdoor cats. I saw a funny thing on Instagram that somebody made a video of they show this cat in the window and then underneath it says, that's my cat in someone else's house. That's really funny. Like they saw their cat just like in someone else's window. Living a life in their neighbor's house. That's hilarious. That's why I shared it honestly because I thought it was funny. Thank you for that. Yeah, of course. Anything fortune. So did you know Laura before y'all shot wayward? Laura's the character. I mean, that's what I meant. Whatevs? No, but we have like. Wait, that's not your wife in real life. We have mutual friends, but we'd never met, but we're the exact same age from the exact same place. So it really felt like we grew up together. We did have an instant like. A bond. But the first time I met her. You didn't go to the same school though. No, I didn't go to the same school. But I was so nervous to meet her because she's like a legit actor and like movie star and I really wanted her to think, oh, this is a serious person who's gonna really, you know, be professional and bring the right game. And the first time I met her, I was dressed like a giant sort of anus. I was hosting like an awards show and doing a bit. And so I was dressed like a big worm with a, it was really. And she was at that award show. She was like, hi. And you're like, hi, I'd like to cast you in my next project. Yeah, it was really embarrassing. Just ignore the anus surrounding me. She lives in Toronto. Actually, she was just in town, her and her husband and baby and her mom. And then her and her husband came over to my house and rearranged my furniture. They went. That's very Canadian. Yeah, they were like, this has gotta be there. Did they get it right? Yes, changed the entire, to the point where no one's even noticed that it's changed because it should have always been that way. It's how it's supposed to be. It was pretty incredible. Oh, those are good guests. Oh, they're the best. You like a guest that comes in and rearranges your house? For sure. Get in there, get in there. Make yourself comfortable. Don't make me do all the like, I like people who come in and go, okay, we're doing this and let me, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taking charge. Yeah, taking charge, you know what I like. I'm gonna come over and rearrange things. Please. How I feel like it should go. Yeah. I love it. Take all the legs off the chair. I love that she's traveling with the whole village. I'm so popular, I need to. Who's texting you? Just a bunch of people. Oh my God. I mean, honestly, there's people in here that there's one person who just texts me I haven't heard from in years. I guess my Jeopardy episode is re-airing. Oh, that's what's happening. But I didn't do great on it, so we don't need to revisit that. I did well on Jeopardy. You did? Your Will of Fortune will forever be. Oh, Will of Fortune is what I was on. I thought it was. Exercise, what was it? Something my exorcist bike. Exorcist bike. Exorcist bike. Crashing my exorcist bike. A good classic television. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. When she was in town, we went to, like she had a plus one to some event and brought me. And Kathy Hilton was there, and that was really exciting for us. Oh, are you a housewives fan? No, Sarah is. I love Paris. Oh, yeah. And so I kind of know Kathy through that. You're a Paris Hilton fan. I'm a deep Paris fan. Really? Really a fan of. Well, her documentary's incredible. There's a documentary about her? Yes, and basically, you know that persona that- I like to watch that. Does. It's a persona that she created in her early 20s, and you hear her talking and her voice is like, yeah, bro, like it's- Yeah, what's up? And she's so smart, and she, a simple life with her and Nicole Richie. Oh, that show was hilarious. They were comedy geniuses. That was very funny. What a double act, and I just think she's great. And the documentary actually, because she was sent to a troubled teen institute, like in my show. And so she kind of lifts the veil on that, and she's just had an interesting life. I don't know, I'm just, I think she's- I mean, I like her, listen. I don't want to party with her yet. I'm not, I don't dislike her. I'm just curious. Yeah, it's a fair question. Is she just Carl's Jr. commercials? Does she? Yes, you've never seen her eat a burger? I love Carl's Jr., by the way. This tastes good. I need to talk about Carl's Jr. Yeah. How it's not Carl Jr's. That's a really good point. Yeah, it's Carl's Jr. When it's Jr., they put the S on the name before Jr. Yeah. Carl's Jr. Jr. Yeah, why did they do that? Why did they move the S? That's why I'm bringing it up. Carl's Jr. It's a very, do you know why, Thomas? They were called Carl Jr's. Carl Jr's. And then they were an economic disaster, but two of the restaurants consistently turned over a profit. When Mr. Karcher visited these branches, he discovered they were built by the same contractor who misspelled Carl Jr's as Carl's Jr. Oh. And so he just stuck with it. It was a mistake. So it's not something where it's like, that's how you do it with... When there's a Jr.? No, it's a typo. It's a typo. That's crazy. And they just stuck with it. Because they were like, there's something to this. Carl's Jr. Carl's Jr. It's, the same restaurant owns Hardee's. Well, I don't know Hardee's. How do you know this? Fortune Fact. Fortune Fact, yes. Fortune Fact. On Hardee's, I, has great biscuits. Oh, you love a biscuit. I love a biscuit. I have three cats and they make biscuits day and night. That's a cute biscuit. Yeah. I like Paris Hilton's mom, Kathy, because she was in the housewives of Barely Hills. Yep. And she's, someone said that something was hunky dory. Oh yeah. Who's hunky dory? Yeah, she thought it was a person. And I was dead serious about it. She goes, who? Well, sorry, I don't remember who that is. The person, and it was so funny. That was really good television. Because she was so earnest about it. Yeah. Wait, so what house pet would you be? Oh, yeah. Back to the serious question. Because actually Paris has a ton of animals. She has pomeranians. Pomeranians. Just like my baby boy. Yeah. I mean, if I could be a specific house pet. I'm gonna get to see him soon. I would be biggie. He's gonna, he'll be with me soon. I haven't seen him in a while. So I am excited to reconnect. Will you send our love? I will hope, yeah, I was thinking if you would see him at some point, I don't know. Yeah. Just tell him we say hi. I will. He's, I think he's good. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to tell with his. He doesn't answer my phone. And he has dead eyes. And he has dead eyes. So I will get to spend some time with him soon. I'm very, very excited. Yeah. It's been too long. I'm excited to see him. Yeah. It's been too long. Oh my God, I hate being away from him. Yeah. Sucks. He's from a broken home now. I know. It's sad. I know. Like, yeah. It's just, you know, hard to coordinate because we've been in different places for a while. Yeah, yeah. But we'll figure it out. Does he have a phone? I haven't gotten him a cell phone. He's not old enough. I don't know. How old is he? He's like 11. Oh yeah, he's not old enough to have a phone. But he pages me. He does page. Art's pager's still around. They've got to be. Why? Yeah, why? I don't know. Just got to be. I've just got to be. He's got to be. He has to be around. There was a comedian years ago that had a joke about the movie, the call. Is there a movie called The Calls coming from within the house? No, that's the tagline for a movie, isn't it? From like Black Christmas or something? Is it Scream, right? No, this is like a old timey movie. I don't know, maybe. But she reenacted it like it was when pagers were popular that like that she's going about her life. And then her pager goes off and she's like, and she's like, ah! Ah! That's funny. Yeah. I had a pager. Yeah. Yeah. I loved, it was so exciting to have one because you get to pull over and use a pay phone. That's right. Nothing more exciting than that. Well, I think I told you I was an RA. And did I ever tell you this? Was RA? A resident assistant. So, oh at college? Yeah, you had a position of authority. So I put on my board, my white board. What an honor. On my door. Cause you're supposed to stay on campus once a month and you can't leave. Right. And I cannot be tamed. You're a rolling stone. I need to go to the IHOP. Yeah. I need to do a lot of things. So I would write, if I'm doing rounds, if you need me, page me. And I was straight up at the IHOP eating breakfast. Your page is going wild. If you need me, page me. So if someone paged me, I went to the pay phone. Bro. And they don't know where it's coming from. Yeah. And these are the days where you couldn't track anything. I mean, a pay phone. Just snuggling your face into that disgusting receiver. I loved pay phone. And how funny that it's called a receiver. And yeah, and the people were like, said what they needed. Had no idea. Was at the IHOP. And I was just like, you know, answer their question. And that went back to my, you know, whatever the smothered. And that's Waffle House. And they make a face with bacon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The rooty tooty, fresh and fruity. God, I loved pay phones so much. I would get a tattoo of a pay phone. The last time I was at an IHOP, my father surprised me at my show in Virginia. And I maybe already told that. I remember you telling us he surprised you, but you didn't tell us the IHOP part. And then he drove out there to surprise me. It's really nice that he did that. And then he was staying in the town where I was. Maybe it was Richmond or whatever. And then the next morning he took me to IHOP and he was like, get whatever you want. Oh, yeah. This is on me. I love that. Yeah, nice. But like earnestly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Were you a vegan bacon? No, this was long ago. A bunch of sausage. I was walking around the corner and I saw this guy leaning up. Like his, I hate, always wore those biker boots with like the metal circle there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like cleaning up. Yeah, he always had a knife in his boot. For a pistol. Hey kid. Oh yeah. But he was leaning up against the wall and I was like, God, that guy looks like my father. Then I was like, I got closer. I was like, oh my God. That would be so nice. That would be so random just because you didn't see him very much. Um, barely. Yeah. It was really wild. It was really wild. And then I think I told you that I sold out the comedy club but it was Christmas. And he was like, wow. He was like, he thought I was the biggest star in the world. And I was like, no, no, no, no. It's like holidays. They, you know, they give free tickets to talk to companies and office parties and stuff. But yeah, that was my last time at IHOP. But what house pet would you be? Oh yeah, Sarah's question. Oh gosh. Gosh, we can't forget this. I would be a cat. Of course. I mean, I would be, I, I mean. Dogs need to, you'd be stressed. Your owner goes out. You're anxious. I know there's a lot of anxiety being a dog. Yeah. Cats don't give, because you wouldn't give a crap. You'd like, get out of here. I've got a nap to take. You're leaving me alone. I'm snuggling on the bed. I mean, that's what I left today was our three cats. Two of them were cleaning each other. Oh, they're, yeah. I'm becoming more of a cat person. They're self-sufficient. I've never had a cat. Okay. Once you get them, you'll see that they do have individual personalities. I never believed that until. Because sometimes they seem like dicks. Yeah. Don't you dare. I mean, I'm a deep dog person. Am I wrong? Yeah. But sometimes they're not. I mean, sure. They'll turn on a dime and. Do you remember when you got the most cute view? Oh, right, right, right. I am scarred for life. That was the craziest. If you're just turning into the pod, dig back into the old episodes. And the mold. And find when Tig got mulled by her cat. Yes, I did. But also, this is what I left today. Oh my God. Cleaning his sister. Yeah, that's cute. Let's see. Come on. Kitty city. Cleaning his sister. Of all the cats, I do like this kind. The long-haired guys. The furry ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like the madder. But do you see his arm around? It's pretty cute. Yeah, all right. Well, anyway, I'd be a cat. What about you? My friends were at. Turtle? Turtle? Turtle? They were at university. It was this big house of girls. And I went to visit my friend. Oh, I'm listening. Girl. Were there boobies in there? Were there boobies? And they were like, I mean, it was a filthy house. They were, and they partied all the time. And I went to stay for the weekend with my friend. And one of them had a pet snake that escaped and was never found again. It was somewhere in the house. It escaped. And it was this big whatever. They never found it? It never appeared. So it might not have been in the house anymore. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Yeah, I know I'm right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait. That where I was watching a late night interview was Zoe Kravitz. And her mom has a snake. And they went to stay at Tayswiff's house because something was happening with their place. And they need, or it was during the fires or something. And her mom, Lisa Boone, who's gorgeous. So if she has a snake, you're going to let her bring a snake. Yeah, you're like, bring a snake. But I didn't tell Taylor. And Zoe didn't know her mom brought the snake. And the snake somehow got in the wall of the bathroom. Oh my god. They get in the walls. They go into the walls. And they had to tear this bathroom apart. Oh my god. They did this snake out of the wall. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Why not just leave it in there? Because if the snake, well, I guess it has to eat. If the snake came out and Taylor Swift's house, and that's a nightmare. That's a nightmare. Why in Taylor Swift's house? Because this is Taylor Swift. Well, do you know Dakota Johnson's grandmother had lions? Oh, yes. Wow. In her house. Yeah, that's insane. That is crazy. And Dakota would pet these lions, go visit. I don't know. People are like, I just don't want one of them attacked Melanie. Oh my gosh. I think she maybe got mauled as a kid or something. Oh my lord. I'm not into the royal same thing. But I also don't have a lot of information. I could be completely. You are just making stuff up. I might have lied. I don't know. This is a big unfact. I'm not into those kind of pets, like things that belong in nature. Or snakes or tarantulas. No, I don't want any spider. I don't want any snakes. Driving here, a spider came down in front of me. In your car? In my car. No. Oh, yes it did. This is why I don't want to get my license. I'm scared. Just because of a random spider. What are the spider goes? But haven't you been driving and you see a spider? And it's very distracting. Yeah, you must run off the road. You're trying to avoid it. I hate spiders. I had a friend who, same thing happened. And he like crashed the car basically. Oh my gosh. And then had to drive along the highway, like all the way home, with no front windshield on the highway. Did you say you're animal? I'm going cat because that, yeah, they just sleep. And they're not as needy and they are soft. But I'm a dog person. To my core, I want to make that clear. Oh, OK. Thank you for making that clear. Geez, that really took a serious turn. I had a friend that my, you know when you're a kid and there's like, your parents are friends with other parents. And so they make you hang out with the kid that you don't want to hang out with. So I had a friend like that who was always like, oh, you know, sleep over at this girl's house. And I was like, she's weird. And she had tarantulas that she would feed live bugs. And the bugs were always getting loose crickets. And you could hear the crickets in her bedroom. And I was lying there in the bunk bed like, oh, get me home. Oh my gosh. I almost said a bird because like it'd be cool to fly. But then I realized that any bird as a pet is in a cage. Yeah. And that's not good. And usually, and not all bird owners, hashtag not all bird owners. Not all bird. But sometimes they're weird. They're completely insane. And so I don't know if I'd want a weirdo being in charge of me. Well, maybe you'd have a weirdo that wouldn't put you in a cage and you would just fly around and just poop all over the house. Which I know you love to do. I love to poop all over the house. That's tempting. But you know, I probably would want Biggie's life. Because if you're- He's never had any concern, right? I mean, he almost died that one time. What happened? There was a medical- This was pre-pod, so he never talked about it. But he had something called HGE. It's something that like little dogs can get. And they don't know why. It can be caused from like stress. But he didn't know he had it. He didn't know he had it, but he almost died. And we were traveling to New York. And when it progressively got worse on the plane. Oh my god. And he, I was like, he's dying. Oh my god. Like I kept taking him to the bathroom. The thing smells like death. There's no other way to explain it. And I was like, he is full on dying. And we just were like, when is this plane landing? You weren't like, is there a veterinarian on the plane? No, because I knew there was nothing they could do. Like he had to get to a hospital. So the, and of course, the plane was going around the airport for a while. We finally get to New York. And it takes an hour to get in the city. We went straight to an emergency vet. And they put us in a room and no one was coming to help him. And he was like hiding from us like full on like going to pass. Oh my god. And I like went back to the nurses station. I'm like, my dog is dying. Please get, can someone come see about him? And they were like, they took him back. And they're like, we won't call you unless it's dire. And we'll let you know in the morning. And at 4 AM, we get a phone call. And we were like, we were like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And they just were like, can we put a feeding tube down? I'm like, yes. Oh my god. You're like, it was like, what is my number? Yeah. So for like, and then we saw the next day he was worse. We thought he'd be better. So we're like sobbing. And like, but like three days later, they find 10 grand later. Three days into it, they did blood transfusions. They saved his life. Oh wow. It's like an infection or something? I don't know. It's like this kind of graphic, but they poop blood. So if there are any dog listeners that experience this. But it's like not just once. Dog listeners? Dog listener. Dog people. People who have dogs. There's all these dogs. I like to tell people this because you should take them to the vet immediately. I do love the idea of you speaking directly to the dogs. Well, he wouldn't take their dog to the vet if they were pooping blood. Some people don't realize that what's happening. Yeah. Or they think it's going to pass or get better. Because a lot of times the dogs can be saved, but they have to go to the vet immediately. Yeah. Other than that, he has a pretty cushy life. And he's gorgeous. He gets stage time. So I wouldn't want to just be any dog. I'd want to be a gorgeous pomeranian. Because they're often treated like princes. You know what I want to be? Like I bet Harrison Ford has some big dog, or maybe a couple big dogs out on his wrench or something. And he's got horses and stuff. And I bet he roughhouses with those. Can you imagine Harrison Ford? Ah, come here, buddy. And I want to be that dog. I want to be that dog. What a specific vision. With Harrison Ford? Yeah. But not Felista Clarkhart? Felista Clarkhart. Clarkhart. Felista Clarkhart. Felista Clarkhart. Felista Clarkhart is amazing. It's like this doesn't feel right. Oh, Felista Clarkhart. Felista Clarkhart has to be your new alien. That's your drag name. Oh my god. Felista Clarkhart. Oh. That's funny. It was really that moment of like, I actually, if I'm totally honest, I thought, wow, I really pulled up her name quickly. And then as I was saying, it was like, Felista Clarkhart. Felista Clarkhart. And then I thought, yeah, that's it. I'm just staring at you like, yeah. Because it kind of sounded right. Exactly in her veins, for sure. Felista Clarkhart. Oh, that's good. Oh my god. I did it. I have tears in my eyes. That's really a favorite. That is our new alien. Felista Clarkhart. For sure. Yeah, well. Felista Clarkhart. We're all doing our best. Oh my god. It's good. It's a good name. That's a great name. She might need to start using that. Give Felista Clarkhart on the phone. Felista Clarkhart here immediately. But would you, is it more him? Like, what do you mind if Felista Clarkhart? I don't mind. I'll take all the love I can get. But specifically, I want his raspy voice. You think he's hot? Yeah, I think he's rugged. He's probably feeds them good food and he goes, come here, boy. Oh, I'm into like a Kevin Costner type, too. No, I instantly thought, no, but I don't know why. I couldn't tell you why. I'm into Harrison Ford. I'm singing of rugged actors. You know why? Because Harrison Ford has a vulnerability to him. That's what I love. You see him, oh, you're talking about my wife. You know what I mean? You're talking about my wife. You're talking about Felista Clarkhart. And you think he's hot. Yeah, and I want to be like him. And I just imagine his home smells like wood, fire, whiskey. And his house smells like it's on fire. Okay. And then also, and you know, there's quite an age difference between you and Felista. No, with Harrison. Me and him. Yeah, are you hot for him? Or you want to be him? I'm very hot for a young Harrison. But not 80-some Harrison. I mean, I'm not turning my nose up, but yeah. Would you hook up with an 80-some, you old guy? Well, I'll tell you what, I did meet Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford at dinner. I think I talked about it. Would you hook up with an 80-year-old, something guy? Well, I'm curious. You would? And they is, okay, you're laughing at me. Turns out, yep, is the answer. If the energy was there. Really? Fortune, yes. I sat at a table across from him, and I think he didn't know if I was a girl or a boy, or if I was five years old or 40. He didn't know what to make me. Well, you don't want, you wanted to thank your 40. But he holds up a napkin, he starts doing like a bit, like a peek-a-boo bit for me. Wait, this happened in real life? I thought this was a fantasy. No, this was Harrison Ford. I met him three years ago. I was like, why would he think you were five? Was Felicita Clark Hart? Why does everyone think you're a child? This happens to me all the time. I don't understand. And they just start playing peek-a-boo with him? No, he did that. He did peek-a-boo with you? Yes, okay, so I'm at the event. You're like, I'm really into this. I'm at the event, and I go, I had F this guy. He was like a clown. He goes, or someone said, May, this is Harrison and Harrison May, and he kind of looks at me like, Trying to figure out. Trying to figure me out. This little baby would love to play peek-a-boo. And I go, You say, fullest. But I said, we all look so dapper or something like that. I couldn't think of anything to say. He went, yeah, we do, actually. Then he's sitting across from me, and every time I caught his eye, He'd do something like, he'd pick up a bread stick, And he'd eat it really slowly, making eye contact, And then I start mirroring him. We're both doing it with the bread sticks. What dinner is this? Is it the Critics' Choice Awards, I think? And then he started playing peek-a-boo? He is really, like, I mean, I love Harrison 4. I mean, I love Blade Runner, I love Witness, I love The Fugitive, Air Force 1. Have you ever seen Star Wars? Yeah. Okay, because he's in that. But anyway, he was twinkling, and I, yeah, he's sexy. He's got an earring, you know? Yeah. No, he's clearly an attractive man. And what I'm saying is I want to be his dog. I was just curious. I want to be his big male dog that he thumps on his right. That's like the Iggy Pop song, I want to be your dog, right? Isn't that Iggy Pop? I don't know. I thought it was Iggy Pop. I want to be like his cock or spaniel, his phallistic cock or spaniel. Oh, your brother. It's a Stooges? Okay. Well, Iggy Pop was the singer of the Stooges. They have a song, I want to be your dog. I want to be your dog. Also covered by Joan Jett. And also, speaking of Joan Jett, I have an original, I love rock and roll Joan Jett concert T-shirt. No way. I do. And I wore that to go meet a friend for dinner one night when I was leaving. Max and Finn were having dinner at the counter. And Finn said, uh, Mayor, are you going to wear that shirt to your dinner? And I said, yeah. And he goes, oh, okay. I was just checking. And I was like, that's weird. And then last night I had a show at Dynasty Typewriter. And before I walked out, or no, I went out, I left for the show. I had my Joan Jett shirt on. Stephanie told me this morning that Finn said, Mom, Mayor wore her Joan Jett shirt to do her show tonight. And Stephanie was like, yeah. And he goes, yeah, I just, I don't know. If I was doing a show, I would wear what I have on, like a polo and nice pants. Oh, you look nice enough. So he clearly, yeah, he's like the shirt. I thought you were going to say he's like, that's a valuable vintage shirt. He's like, no, he's like, this is not nice enough. And I asked him, I said, I showed him the shirt because I still had it on earlier today. And I said, Finn, is there anything about this shirt that you don't like, like any part of the picture or anything written on it? And he was like, no. And I said, but, and then he got like a smirk on his face. And I said, you thought it was weird. I wore it to dinner one night. And then mommy told me that you thought it was weird that I wore it to my show last night. And he said, well, I just think you should wear something nicer on stage. And when you go out to dinner, like a polo. Yeah. He is from another generation, another era. Like he's he's so funny. He's an old soul. He's looking at his 54 year old mother walking out in a rock and roll jersey going, you need to. Yeah. Yeah. Well, should we hear Sarah's answer? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Of course we should. I would love to be a cat and preferably an outdoor cat without door privileges. But I think realistically, I'm probably a turtle. A turtle? I called it. I said a turtle earlier. You do. That was a nice twist. I would be too scared to be an outdoor cat, like especially with the coyotes around here. Yeah. I will say we had a lot of toads in wayward. And we had a toad wrangler and like live toads. Oh yeah, one hopped over your foot, right? Recently, yeah. And Sarah discovered she does not like having to act with toads and having to pick them up and feel their little heartbeat. I don't think I would like it either. Yeah. And I so I kept telling her really casually, oh, we've rewritten it's it's down the line, but we've rewritten this scene and so you're going to be in bed with a bunch of toads and she was such a good she was okay. All right. She was trying to really get on board with it. That's so mean. So mean. I had to act. I would did this show called Life in Pieces. We're at a recurring part and I was I got to act with Diane Wease who I am obsessed with. She's amazing and an incredible actor and I had to act. We both sat on a bed together and we were supposed to have this very emotional scene and there was a 13 foot python. No. On the bed with us. You, Diane, wanted to and a python. Die. What is this movie? They did this show. Because my character was crazy and I had a pet snake. Oh my God. And so the wrangler was just like throw this big yellow python on the bed and Diane's a like huge animal person like she's just like not fazed by it. This snake's like coming towards my face. She's acting like Oscar worthy performances and I'm just like, oh my God. You hate snakes. I hate snakes. I was dying. You know who hates snakes? Who? Indiana Jones. Why did have to be snakes? Nice full circle. Thanks. Yeah. It was not pleasant. I don't want to act with snakes. That'd be a fun podcast for you to chat and then you have to bring everything full circle in the end. And the podcast is called full circle. No, it's called Carl's Jr. There's another one. Well, what a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. May I get your turn? What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. Well, I guess I'll start. I'm on tour. I'm going to be in a lot of places over the holidays right after Christmas. Well, actually coming up St. Petersburg, Florida, Orlando, Florida, then Norfolk, Virginia, Vancouver, Seattle, Mobile, New Orleans, Atlanta, Cincinnati, Indianapolis. Gosh, good memory. Thank you. That's impressive. I will also be on tour without as good of a memory. Then on January 14th, I'll be in Fort Lauderdale, January 15th, Orlando, January 17th, Jacksonville, Florida. And then you can also catch me in Midland, Texas, February 21st. And then please stop by Charleston, West Virginia, March 12th. Oh, I just opened a new document with all these new dates. I'm glad. I'm here in Tennessee, March 14th. Go to Tignotaro.com. Come check me out doing my minor market tour. No offense to the minor market people. And then also check out the documentary on Apple TV. Come see me in the good light. Do it. And you can go to maymartin.net and I'm on tour starting end of February. And I'd love if people come doing 35 cities across America and Canada. And also share your favorite episodes with people and make sure to subscribe to our podcast and to our YouTube channel. And until then, my hands warmed up. Until then, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tignotaro, May Martin and Fortune Thiemster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. Checking all state furs could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you make room for your family pets when settling in for a movie night. Ain't gonna fly. If my cat's not on the couch with me, it's gonna stare at me with a really sad face until we find her a spot. Yeah, check in first is smart. So check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hey everyone, this is Natalie. And this is Charlie. We're from the podcast Exploration Live. It's really funny. It's really good. It's really, really very good. And now we have a YouTube channel to go with it. That's exactly right, Natalie. Mm-hmm. So, we have full video episodes of our podcast Exploration Live at youtube.com slash Exploration Live podcast. That means that in addition to the audio component, we're also getting a video component. Exactly. Mm-hmm. Where you're seeing our reactions, what kind of clothes we're wearing. Mm-hmm. You know, and there's a whole suite of dynamics and physical expressions that you can really only get from a full video. Body language experts to the front. Exactly. So, check out Exploration Live, either audio or video.