My future mother-in-law wanted to walk MY groom down the aisle! | Reddit Stories | EP2668

Hey, this is Karli. And this is Keyon, your favorite okay storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up. But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show running. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. No gloss, no filter. Just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace, only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhat Show on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. My future mother-in-law wanted to walk my groom down the aisle. That's not how it goes. Evan, 31 male and I, 28 female, are getting married in five weeks. And a disagreement with my future mother-in-law has turned wedding planning into an ideological debate. What? She is a lifelong feminist and a single mother who raised Evan entirely on her own. She believes that because fathers traditionally give away daughters, she should be able to give her son away as an equal feminist gesture. Hey, I like it. I kind of like this. Well, maybe as a feminist, you should also recognize that OP wants to decide how her and her fiance's wedding is gonna go. Wrong. She did this. She gets the pick. It's her day. Don't you know this is her day too? You're right. What was I thinking? Gosh. By the way, this comes from opinion bride. And if you want to spend your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia. I am Riley. And we're here to give good advice, Goofley, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. And OP says, her plan is to walk my fiance down the aisle while I stand at the altar. Yeah. I'm supposed to watch him walk down the aisle, give a short speech about raising him, present him with a ring, and then place his hand into mine before the ceremony begins. Which? Uh-huh. It's totally fine if this was her wedding and she wanted to do this. No, this is gonna have to happen. You're misogynist. How dare you? I'm a misogynist. Let her do this. I guess I have to. You have to. I guess I gotta. But you're going against the whole force. I hate women. That's what this means if you don't do this, OP. I'm just kidding. This is crazy. No, it's what needs to happen. Break that glass ceiling. I understand the argument intellectually. In fact, one of the main reasons that I fell in love with Evan is for his ability to never diminish me, to listen to my opinion, and to treat me as an intellectual equal. But I always assumed that I would walk down the aisle to him. I've always seen this as a romantic thing and a given. She says my father can still walk me down the aisle first, just as usual. But I would be walking to a lonely efficient when I said no. What? What? Yeah, so OP would go first with her dad and then just be waiting there for her husband to walk down the aisle. She's just reversing this thing. Yeah. Honestly, why doesn't she just go first? You know? Like she could still walk. The bride? No, like the mom could still walk the groom down the aisle. That's what I thought was actually happening. That makes so much more sense. And then you open it up being like, yo, it's time to play now. Here we go. Set the scene. That would be lovely. I feel like that's totally more reasonable. But so she now wants the bride to wait? Yeah, at the altar. Girlfriend. When I said no, she accused me of being not a feminist and then anti-feminist. My fiancee understands both sides. Dude, you need to support your girls. This is not supporting your girls. Yeah, he literally said, I support both of you very intelligent women. Oh no. Oh no. He's trapped in feminists. Don't be a no. Circle. No, he needs to not be a mama's boy. This is what it is. He's just trying to be too much of a feminist. You can't decide. He's 6'3", by the way. Dude. Dude. Blue eyes. This is a make or break. This is honestly the best test you could have or you could have, OP. Is he gonna support you in this decision about your guys' wedding? He thinks it is reasonable. And that things in the world have changed. His family thinks I'm overreacting. I'm not canceling the wedding. I'm only refusing this specific request. So am I the a-hole and we've got some comments. Yes you are. You need to be up for experimentation during your wedding. What are you thinking, OP? During your own wedding. You gotta change it up a little bit. No. OP, this is your wedding and your husband should be on your side. And if he came to you and said, hey, I really would love to honor my mom in some way during the ceremony, could we do that? Yeah, maybe we could find a role and maybe that is walking him down the aisle first. Yeah, we could squeeze you in here. Is there in there? Maybe she could be the flower mom. Yo, but with these requests, they come at a price. Okay, we can do whatever you want. I'll walk down by myself. How much of the wedding you paying for? Yeah, mom. Because traditionally it should be the bride's family, but if we're gonna be mismatching expectations with genders. You could pay for everything. Yeah, then you could do whatever, you could sponsor it. It really comes down to who's sponsoring this wedding. True, Arden Tellian says, at my nephew's wedding, he walked in with his parents. Then the bride walked in with her parents. The parents sat down, the couple joined each other in front of the efficient. The best man and maid of honor had the rings. This worked fine. No one made weird speeches and it was the couple's decision to do it this way. And that is the point. It would be totally cool to find a dandy if it were OP and her husband's decision, but it's not. Yep. It is the mom's. Yep, mom, if you're with someone, break up with them or, I don't know, get divorced, then get remarried and do it the way you want. You can do whatever you want. What do they call the marriages that they reconform after a number of years? I don't know. What does that call? Valorantal? Yeah. Would you all couple to that or would they really go through a patchy spot in their life? No, it doesn't have to be for a patchy spot. It can just be like, I love you a lot and I wanna celebrate that. I should do the one with my girlfriend. Well, you haven't had any vows yet, so it would be just a vow. A vow to always love her. Aw, that's very sweet. Jester in ancient court says, I'm Jewish and this is customary for both the groom and bride to be walked down the aisle by their parents. Y'all, this is the point. You guys are zooming over the point. Capital Sarah says yes, but not customary for the bride to go first or the mother-in-law to make a speech. We had the parents stay under the... Hoopa? Hoopa? I don't know how to pronounce that. Hoopa! With us though and old school orthodox style. Was actually very nice for the family coming together. Opie just has a regular old self-absorbed mother-in-law on her hands. Valiantra says, why can't you walk him down the aisle first? Then you walk with your dad, not the a-hole. Independent-minded gal says, that's nice, but no speech from mother-in-law during the ceremony. Fathers don't do that, neither should she. Useless education says, yeah, this is where it jumped the shark for me. There's already a designated time when she can give her speech at the toast with everyone else. This has main character syndrome written all over it. And we've got an update. What was the name we had for mother-in-law Monsters and monsters? Yes! This isn't your day, sweetie. It's not your day. It's not your day. If again, all of the people in the comments were saying, well, you know, like this is common in summer. It's not the point. Not the point. It's about what Opie and her husband want and her husband's just going with what his mom want. That's a real point there. What's the husband gonna do? I'd be like so thankful. Thank you for this test. Husband, what will you do? Will you support me or will you support my mother? This will determine our fate forever. Whatever and ever. Right? Oh, don't you wish you had a test? You should probably have a test like this. I don't think I'm gonna test my partner. Yeah, I mean, like this is an Opie didn't test her. Exactly. It has to come up naturally. But when you like a natural test, just to be sure. I am sure. I know, but like double for certain. Double for certain. Right now you're certain, but imagine being double for certain. Well, we'll see when it gets there. But would you like it or not? I don't know. Would you like it? Yeah. Okay, well there you go. That's your answer. That's my answer. I want to know your answer. And I want to know what happens in this update. Sophia! One day later. Double confirmed or no. Who's this to say? She's gonna get one. This is your own file. You could have just said yes. Hi everyone. I wanted to come back and respond after taking some time to read the comments and really think things through. I shared the post with Evan and he was amazed at all the responses. First, this is actually happening to me. Or I should say yes. This is not hypothetical or exaggerated. And it's honestly nothing I ever imagined would be happening while planning a wedding. I've been pretty flabbergasted by her asks, even though I understand where they're coming from emotionally. For some added context, my future mother-in-law is a very successful doctor and has contributed a significant amount of money towards the wedding. And there it is. There it is. She paid for a lot so she wants to also control everything. There's no such thing as a free lunch, folks. Because of that, she feels strongly that she deserves a special moment during the ceremony. I think the strings attached has made this more complicated than it otherwise would be. Okay, strings attached. Let's do the first option that we thought of. She sets the setting. Yeah. What? Hear me out. Hear me out. Hear me out. Like you said earlier, because usually the whole thing is like ladies first, but now in this moment, it's men first, man first. Man and mother walk down the aisle together. Perfect, lovely. And then you set the scene, you make it happen, you set the tone. Mother, Zilla. And then from there, OP can do what she would like because this is also her day. Yeah. It's that or nothing. I think that's a good compromise. She gets to walk her son down the aisle, but she does it first. Yes. But you can even arrange it in a way. Like you say, like, oh mom, or mom-in-law, I really wanted to show my appreciation for everything you're doing for the wedding. So I'd love if like you came out first, really shine. Oh my gosh, this is perfect because I feel like people don't respond really well, like you cannot do this. Yeah. And rather you're like, you can do this. I would love for you to do that. Yeah, like really, really phrase it in a way. Holy shit. This is genius. Oh my gosh. She'll never see it coming. Hierosis mediators guys. It's so good. Please write it in a style of a Reddit story and we'll come and we'll fix it for you. Yeah. Any problem you have, we're on the case. Yes. Easily. Throughout all of this, I've made a conscious effort to stay calm and collected. I pride myself on being empathetic and understanding while still being firm in my own boundaries. I explained to Evan that I have always imagined walking down the aisle and seeing his first reaction to me. The look on his face and the emotion in that moment, I think a lot of women can relate to that. He immediately understood and validated that feeling. He also shared something important with me, which is that he has never really been in a position to disagree with his mother on something this meaningful, especially given how much he is contributing. That helped me see that this wasn't just awkward for me, but genuinely difficult for him as well. He agreed that a speech was not something we wanted and was fine at the reception. Lord help me. So we decided to approach this as a unit instead of leaving him to navigate it alone. Don't let it be the middleman. I have been the middleman before between my mother and my other partner. It's not a fun time in my life. My ex, not my other partner, my ex. I do not have another partner, Angie. Me and my three partners. Thanks to some helpful advice given in the comments. Together we explained that a speech was not what we wanted during the ceremony and that a ring wouldn't work in the long run since he will already be wearing his wedding ring and doesn't expect to wear additional rings after the wedding. Instead, we suggested a watch that he could wear for the ceremony and enjoy after. Ed then loved this idea. He had one in mind he wanted. He also proposed that they make a day of it together beforehand, just the two of them, to choose the watch and spend time together. That part felt meaningful without overlapping into the ceremony itself. The compromise we landed on is that she can walk him down the aisle, they can share a kiss, and then she can be seated in the first row instead of asking, who gives this woman? The efficient will ask, who lovingly raised this woman and this man? And both of our parents will stand and answer which she agreed is fair. Look at that, look at that. You worded it in a way that she loves. You made her feel like she's a part of something and that's great. And since she's probably been writing so much feminine literature, she really appreciates the way words are arranged and you did that correctly. Congratulations. Oh my, dude, she's gonna love you forever. She's like, this is a woman who stands up for what she wants. And all of this woman's probably been writing about is like all these things that were like unfair. She just wanted to test you. Yeah. That's at the end of the day. Oh my gosh. She was testing yours. She's a doctor. Mother-in-law doctor. Yes. Mother and doctor. Mother, what? I don't understand what that revolution was. Well, she's a, the mother-in-law was a doctor. Oh, like the mother was a doctor. And she used her doctorate degree against you to test you. Yes. It was a doctor test. We are hoping and praying she sticks to these boundaries. I'll admit, I'm still a little nervous about a speech she might try to add. But for now, we feel okay with where things landed. She'll be wearing a powder blue outfit, which I'm completely fine with. Oh, she's just something blue. And thankfully not white. And we also decided to have a non-traditional efficient and a female justice of the piece, which feels very fitting for us. That was a great ending. Yay. But you sorted that out so well. Oh my gosh, dude, I could not be proud of you. You could not be proud of them? I could not be more proud of them. Oh, be more proud, okay. I couldn't be proud of you. I tried, but I just couldn't. That's so good. Yeah. That is so good. One thing I did note. Yeah. What did husband do? I don't know. It seems like they found that they walked that. He walked it as a unit, but I did not hear or see a clear statement of I am supporting you. Yeah, that's true. Moreover, go with the flow. That's what he did. He would go with the flow kind of guy. He's like, what can I do that mitigates the least amount of conflict? Well, that's, you know, what everyone's always looking for. Yes, but he, especially him though. Yeah. But there's a little bit left. Surprisingly, she was agreeable to all of this and ultimately decided on the watch. Evan and I are extremely relieved and feel ready to continue planning our special day. I'm so excited. OP says children are the number one priority. She doesn't know it yet, but she has met her match. I will do everything in my power to keep the love of my life and give my children a sane upbringing going forward. So she's got to keep putting up those boundaries. Got to. And I love that. Oh man. Oh dude, this is just one of many tests. Yeah. The tests never stop. It's called exam season. And you said praying and you said Lord earlier, so I'm assuming you're Christian. Oh man, I'm just thinking of like, if you go to a church, XYZ happens whenever you have a kid. It's like a baby inauguration or whatever. I don't know. I forget. It's been so long since that happened to me. But she might fight. She's probably gonna fight you on everything you decided to do as a parent. But it seems like so far you've done a good job at kind of sidestepping. So let's just keep sidestepping. So OP A plus. Yeah. Husband? Look a B. I think I could be. B minus C. Sure, C plus. I wouldn't give him a C plus. I'd give him a B minus. I'd be so scared getting married to this guy. I think he'll figure it out. I freaking hope so. I think we just keep having conversations. This is one of many tests. I don't know what he's gonna last though. Yeah, I think we have a conversation about like, are you gonna support me if you ever fully disagree with your mom? Yeah, cause she's gonna be laying it on thick. But that is the end of that story. And we've got another one coming right up. My mother-in-law kept booking a vacation with us without our knowledge. Well, she just really, really loves you and wants to spend so much time with you at all times, always. My mother-in-law is extremely family oriented and lives alone after being widowed about 10 years ago. I'm married to her eldest son and we have a baby. Her other son is also married with a toddler. Before we all had kids, she used to book us family vacations for all of us using a timeshare system she has without asking us if we wanted to go or even checking if the dates worked for us. This would often involve driving three plus hours to a town that doesn't have anything we want to see or do. By the way, this comes from user token Yeti658. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Dakota. And I'm Savannah. And we're here to yapp about this here story, maybe give a little advice. We don't have all the answers though. We only know what we would do. So let us know what you would do down there in the comments. And no pieces. She's also done this with theater tickets, sports tickets, et cetera in her city, which is five hours away from us. We make the drive at least every two to three months and stay with her at her house for several days each time. So it's not like this is the only way she'll ever see us. We mentioned multiple times subtly that she needs to check with us before booking things. Maybe let's make that not so subtle. Yeah, I feel like that's a big deal. Like, oh, actually I have something planned this week. Can't do those dates. You know, I'm sure she's doing it like in advance, hopefully. But even so, like, you gotta check with me. I don't know. Yeah, we should be making that the most obvious point. We should be saying, you absolutely need to make sure the dates work for the people you're booking the dates for. Okay? Say it just like that. Repeat after me. I will check with my children. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Close enough. I thought she got the memo until this Christmas when she gifted us all a week-long vacation together in a ski town in May to celebrate a significant work anniversary for her. It is a six-hour drive for us, and it's closer for her and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. And I simply don't want to go. She said she chose that date specifically because it's before I return to work following my maternity leave. But being on maternity leave doesn't necessarily mean I'm available. And it definitely doesn't mean I want to incur the expense of food and gas, et cetera, on this gift. She had asked us before booking it and presented it as something she wanted to do to celebrate this milestone for her and her career. I would have sucked it up since I understand family time is very important to her. And she doesn't have a spouse to celebrate this work anniversary with. However, I find the way she went about it infantilizing and ultimately kind of manipulative. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law are also not thrilled. Neither of them are even certain they can get the time off, but my husband and brother-in-law seem determined to try to make it work. Without acknowledging the way she did it is not okay. I told my husband we can either have a talk with her to tell her in no uncertain terms that she needs to stop spending money and making reservations without checking with us first, or I will not be going on this vacation and neither will her exclusively breastfed grandchild. Am I over reacting here? And we do have some comments, but Savannah. What? What is your thoughts? What are your thoughts? Maybe you have more than one. I have just one. And I think that, Grandma just doesn't know. You just gotta tell her. I guess she's not grandma, she's mother-in-law. Mother-in-law, you just gotta tell her. You can't be subtle about it. People don't, especially like older people don't get subtleties. You have to like directly explain, just be like, hey, listen, I know that you are trying to do a nice thing for everyone. You want everyone to be there for you and then all this stuff. But you also have to understand that we have lives and you need to check with me whether or not these dates work. Like what if I had something planned that week? Then what? That I have to miss my thing and any of the stuff. I understand that you're trying to plan it around stuff that you already know, but you don't know everything that I have. So if you could just check with me before making these reservations, I would greatly appreciate it. And also I feel like, you know, she's saying how these are all like a bunch of drives, whatever, can't you just like a plane ticket? I don't know, it's hard, it's probably hard traveling with a brand new baby. I mean, yes, I get that. They just had the baby. It's not easy to travel with the baby. I mean, I think, I can't imagine it would be easy to bring the baby onto the mountain either, but it would be cute, but it's also may. So I don't know. Oh, that is like weird ski resort in May, new baby, right before I go back to work. Is mother-in-law going skiing? I don't know how old she is, but that would be pretty impressive. She's gonna be so old and go ski. Oh my, I feel like it's a lot on your body. That was a lot on my body. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, please. That was really bad. That's all I have to say. That's my one thought. All right, we've got some comments. Comment one says, you're being subtle. Why? O.P. says, because my husband is afraid of hurting her feelings and isn't willing to stand up to her. Boo, she's just a lady. She's not that scary. She's simply a lady. Ladies are pretty scary sometimes. I got teeth and nails. Yeah. Okay. Maybe not nails, claws. Comment two, not overreacting, but let your husband go with the baby by himself. Win, win. He gets to please his mother and you get to stay home while the baby can't breastfeed with the father. Okay? That is true. Boys, don't do that. You can do your final recharging and prep before returning to work as the last few months with a baby must have been exhausting. Not overreacting, not even a little bit. Those shenanigans would do my head in. Plus your postpartum? Heck no. O.P. says, I like this idea. However, my baby is exclusively breastfed. Unfortunately, your idea would probably truly delight my mother-in-law to have the opportunity to play house with my baby and husband without me there. Commenter three says, you are overreacting because all of you have been enabling mother-in-law's behavior for years. What's different this time? You said you would have said yes if she had asked, but since she didn't ask, your answer is no. Sorry, but that doesn't make any sense at all. It sounds like your plan is to tell her to stop making reservations while at the same time, you're all going on this trip even though no one really wants to. I'm curious why no one in this family can tell mom no because her behavior is ridiculous. What is everyone afraid of? Is she a wealthy widow whose boy is afraid of getting cut out of the will if they cross her? O.P. says no, definitely not any financial incentive. It's more so that she revolves her entire life around her kids and is an extremely emotional and sentimental person. Since her husband passed, who would have told her her behavior is ridiculous. Her sons feel too guilty to reel her in. O.P. explains more about not liking spending time with her mother-in-law. O.P. explains it's not that I don't like spending time with her, I spend quite a bit of time with her, more than I do with either of my own parents put together. Things like this make me like spending time with her less because it makes me feel like I don't get a choice in the matter. By suck it up, I meant the inconvenience of traveling six hours to get to a ski town off season that I have no interest in with a screaming baby in the car. Plus making arrangements for a dog sitter, planning meals while away or paying for restaurants, et cetera, it's all the hassle of going away without the incentive of it being a place I want to be. A downvoted commenter says you must not like skiing. Got him. O.P. says it's May in Canada, there will be no skiing. Also, I have a baby who obviously can't ski. Well, not with that attitude. Put that baby on the ice. You gotta put that baby out on the snow. Put that baby on a pair of french fries. Put that baby, get two trays from the cafeteria, glue it to your baby's feet and send them on down the hill. Baby's first ski. See what that baby's made of. Really test his limits. Is it easy for mother-in-law to take time off work? Yes, says O.P. She has lots of vacation time saved up and takes vacations whenever my husband and I happen to be in town. She's so eager to use her vacation time on her family, she doesn't consider that we may all have other priorities for our vacation, including making time to see my family as well and traveling places we actually want to go. How does mother-in-law get away with this? Okay, I think we're being a little crazy. How does mother-in-law get away with buying vacations for other people? Like, it's not like she's doing the worst thing ever. You don't know what she does. So far, all I'm seeing is it's like, yeah, when she surprises us with a vacation, she doesn't plan it with us, which is like, well, yeah, let's just not make the vacation surprises and also she just lost her husband. I just don't understand why you can't sit down like she's complaining, but she's not doing anything about it. Yeah, that commenter we read earlier where it was like, yeah, you're like, I would go if she asked, but now that she, because she didn't ask, I won't go. Because well, maybe I wouldn't have been available. It's like, I don't know. Have a conversation, just talk about it. Just be like, hey, this is what's been happening. And I know no one's been saying anything because we just don't want to upset you, but like, this is how things work. This is how you plan vacations. Just in case you forgot, you got to make sure everyone's available and you got to make sure we all want to go end of story. I mean, how much notice did we have? Well, this is how far away from May are we right now? Well, they gave her, it was a Christmas gift. So in five, so you got five months to plan this. Yeah. I think that's more than enough time. Anyway, OP says, I agree. It's somewhat impressive how her two sons will simply go along with what she wants, even at great inconvenience to themselves and their wives. This would never fly in my own family with my siblings and parents. OP explains about her maternity leave in her area. Actually, I'm in Canada, so my maternity leave is 12 months. Trip is scheduled for 11 months into it. Baby has been here for a while, but you're on the nose for sure. We did a nine week NICU stay. And there is an update from three days later. Let's go ahead and jump right into it. After the trip was initially presented by my mother-in-law to crickets and souring the mood before we all opened our gifts to one another, I let the matter settle for a few days and then calmly explained to my husband that I will not be attending the trip. My original post said I would have sucked it up and went if mother-in-law had asked us first. But after really thinking about it, I know that I would have definitely pushed for different dates, a different location, and shorter duration if we had really been consulted. I said I'm more than happy to explain to mother-in-law that I have a limited capacity to go away and visit family. And we put a lot of thought into how we go about these visits since I also have siblings, parents, and grandparents that live far away. Not to mention that we need to leave some time to spend with our own family of three. I don't appreciate having these decisions taken away from us. He didn't try to convince me, but he was clearly very disappointed and believes I should go. When I told him my maternity leave is precious time to me and not anyone else's to determine how I will spend it, he said that doesn't make any sense since the baby will be there too. Somehow he doesn't understand why this is different from another trip planned long ago with my coordination to visit my own family at a location and on dates we agreed to. He then called his brother, who was upfront about the fact that he and my sister-in-law aren't eager to go either. And they all agreed that brother-in-law will break the news that none of us are going. Sadly, my husband is a lot more sympathetic to my brother-in-law wanting to spend his limited vacation time on a trip with his child and wife than he was to my own explanation. My husband is also insisting, we all think of an alternative weekend getaway. We can pitch to celebrate my mother-in-law's work anniversary with her to soften the blow that we won't be going. You read that right. He's trying to come up with an alternative to the Christmas gift she gave us to celebrate her. And there's a little bit more story left here, but man, I really just feel like you don't like his mom at all. Yeah, and I don't, I feel like there's something underlying that is not being explained here, but it does seem like OP's just like, yeah, I just really don't wanna go. I have no intention of going and she always does this. And, you know, she never thinks about this. She only thinks about that and all this stuff. And it's like, have a conversation with her. And she's still avoiding the conversation, OP. You're still saying like, I'm not gonna tell her, you guys have to tell her. And it's like, you're the one coming up with all of this. I know everyone's kind of agreeing, but you're the one taking the initiative. I think you need to just like, you'd like, hey, suck it up and be like, listen, this is what we're thinking. You know, sorry, but, you know, it's just that we've all been talking and these things just aren't working out, but we're willing to like do it in a different way on a different date, you know? Like it's not gonna like break her heart to where she's like, oh my gosh, I'm, oh no, I'm in cardiac arrest or something. Like I feel like it would just be like, you know, she'd be like, oh, like yeah, she'd be disappointed, but giving her an alternative, be like, okay, yeah, if you guys couldn't do it, that's fine. We'll do something else, you know? I don't know. I just feel like they're making it such a big deal, but then no one's saying anything. It's like, just tell her. Like she doesn't know. She thinks that all of you wanna go. Nobody's telling her, no, we don't like this. So she obviously thinks, oh, well, no one's saying they don't wanna go, so I'm just gonna keep doing it. And now after years of doing this, all of a sudden, and you know, it's gonna be like, yeah, we never wanted to do this. That's gonna break her heart. So you waited too long. Yeah, I mean, I think if you've got months and months away from this, you can probably get a refund on most of it. Oh, for sure, yeah. I mean, yeah, going to a ski slope off season is not necessarily the most fun thing ever, but it can be really nice. It just depends. Like there's a lot of places in Colorado that once it's off season, and it's like the spring and summer months, they open up as like, you know, big like hiking trail spots and like, you know, mountain biking spots and just, you know, the lifts will still run, but it's like, they're just scenic. Like it could be nice. I don't see it as like this whole, like, I mean, sure it's a six hour drive that could be stressful, but like, I don't know. I've seen a lot of babies sleeping in cars. Babies sleep in cars a lot. From what I see. I also sleep in cars. Yeah, see, so does Keon. Keon immediately will fall asleep in a car. Like a little baby boy. But if you guys are just open to changing it, be like, we want to celebrate you. We want to also just do something we all want to do. Yeah. I mean, like it's as easy as that. You don't have to be like, we hate all these things that you've done for us and you never talk to us about it. And it's like- She's thoughtful. She's like, she even scheduled it like at the end of your maternity leave. Cause she's like, you know, you spend all the time with the baby and you can do this thing, which is a little older. You get a little more practice, but you're feeling like, oh, it's too close to when I'm going back to work. So maybe we push that up a little bit. Like, I don't know, but yeah, you guys can figure it out. It's just literally communication. Just tell her. Like she doesn't know, so she's going to keep doing it. And if you keep subtly telling her, she's still not going to get it. You just have to be upfront and just be like, listen, we can't keep doing this, but we will do this if we all are involved in the planning. And maybe, maybe she's also feeling like, well, I always plan things, you know? But like, you don't know, cause you're not communicating. So literally just communicate. Yeah. I think the weird feeling I have, I just don't know how to, it's like we haven't really heard any other really like problematic behavior from the mother-in-law. Other than it's like, yeah, my husband's mother-in-law is annoying. She wants to spend time with her children and is a grieving widow. Like I'm annoyed that my husband is catering to her. It's like, I don't even know if that's really what's going on. You know, like that's what you do sometimes. Maybe a piece kind of like jealous that, you know, like she can get everyone together or something or that, you know, everyone drops what they're doing for her or for mother-in-law, you know? And so maybe she's just like, oh, I don't understand. You know, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I just, it feels strange a little bit. There's gotta be more. Anyway, let's finish the story. Hey, it's Keon. The silly's goose. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. Addiction is a disease and it should be looked upon as any other disease. How did you cope with a reckless father like me? Join me, Pooja Bhatt, as I sit down every week with directors, actors, musicians, technicians and beyond. You don't need to work with the biggest people and the biggest sound to have great music. I have gone through the sub-CD hutchaker, reached the pinnacle, stung by the snigger, I've fallen down again. Yeah, I am not writing actively anymore and when I see my old work, it kind of saddens me. I'm only as good as the last shot that I gave. Mom's gone, but don't shut the theater. The show must go on. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhatt show on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. Crisp, vibrant and bursting with citrus. Villamarilla's New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc is the perfect wine, made to be enjoyed on every occasion. Whether you're soaking up the sun in your garden, hosting a backyard barbecue, or unwinding after a long day, the zesty lime and lush tropical fruits are always delicious. Try Villamarilla Sauvignon Blanc, a vibrant New Zealand wine that's perfect for every occasion. Available at all good wine retailers. Yeah. I know commenters are correct that I have a husband problem, but there's only so much I can do. He's overall a wonderful man, and there are worse things than a mother-in-law who schemes to spend time with her sons and a husband who doesn't understand why I don't want to spend every possible moment with his family, and ultimately tries very hard to protect his mom's feelings at the expense of my peace. So husband chooses his mom over his wife. That's why she's angry. Got it. Don't you only see her like three or four times a year? Yeah, yeah. That's what they said, yeah. So how is that in any way possible? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe like he hangs up on phone calls, being like, oh, sorry, my mom's calling, gotta go. I don't know. I'm sure this isn't the last headache I'll have with him. And there are some more comments here. Comment one says, your marriage, your choice to continue with this, no real room to complain if you don't push back at your husband being still on the tit. What is happening? I don't think it's the husband's fault at all. I think what we get here, sometimes we read stories and then it's like, people who have toxic family members or something, or maybe who have cut off their own, just like project that it's like, oh, well, it's like, yeah, or like, oh, what a mama's boy. It's like, I don't think so. I don't think it's the husband's fault. She gave them a, you know, whatever. This vacation thing is annoying. She doesn't check in for us for the dates when she buys vacations for us. That's insane, first of all, it's to be complaining that someone's, that you're in-laws buying you vacations and you're just complaining about that, is kind of whack energy. Whether you like the vacations or not, she's buying them for y'all. I don't know, it's just a crazy thing to complain about. It's just, I feel like we've gotten so far off what the original post was about, which is basically just the, like, you know, the mother-in-law just plans these vacations without like double checking if everyone's like available or can do that or whatever. Like that's what this is about. And now it's like, well, my husband just, you know, he's such a mama's boy and, you know, like nobody stands up to her because she's a grieving widow and it's like, that's just like has nothing to do with what you're complaining about. You're just like trying reasons not to blame yourself. And OP, I really think it's you. Yeah, I don't know, I just don't like the whole like, well, I'm just not gonna go on the trip, you know? I refuse to play along with this behavior of her getting away with this. And it's like, I don't know, the trip is for her to spend time with the family that she has left, I guess, after losing her husband. It's not like sheetbook to trip on like, where it's like, yeah, you guys all have to buy plane tickets to Hawaii or something. Yeah. Or like we're all traveling, you know? I mean, let's be honest, six hour car ride is not that far away. You can make that trip four times in a day, literally. I mean, it would be all day, but you could make that trip four times. Yeah, you're gonna look at it like that, yeah. I mean, just not that far. But also I could understand like traveling with like infants and toddlers and whatever, like that is a whole nother thing. And I'd have no frame of reference for that, but it doesn't feel like the mother-in-law is doing that much wrong. Yeah. I don't know. Honestly, I think it's just communication. And not, yeah. No, he's communicating and everyone's just like, like talking behind each other's backs and whatever, blah, blah, blah. And the mother-in-law has no idea that nobody like this. And so she just keeps doing it. From the sound of it, yeah. And then you guys are like, oh, she's doing it again. It's like, no one's telling her not to. Just tell her, just be like, I don't like this. She'll be like, okay, like, how are we supposed to read your mind? I hate this. Anyway, OP says, I am pushing back by refusing to go on the trip. I think that's the natural and reasonable consequence here. What else are you suggesting? And there is another commenter. Honestly, I think having a husband who prioritizes his mother's feelings over his wife's peace is a pretty big problem that you are underreacting to. Being married to a man who doesn't get why you don't want to spend every moment with his mommy, which again, they don't do, and they see her three or four times a year. Sounds like an absolute nightmare, especially since she's manipulative and he's spineless. Not a great combination for you to live with for the rest of your life. I wish you luck. OP says, you're not wrong. We've been together more than 10 years. And this is by far our biggest recurring argument. Comment three says, not overreacting. Have you ever told your husband that he protects his mom's feelings at the expense of your peace? OP says yes. In his perspective, it's normal and okay for family members to be inconvenienced in order to protect someone's feelings. Isn't that true though? Like it's not like every relationship and loving relationship you have is gonna be convenient at all times. Exactly. I was thinking the same thing. Like it's just- It's not, it can't be. There's gonna be times where you're like, wow, it's really inconvenient, but I have to think of this person's feelings right now in front of my own desires. Yeah. That happens. That does- That does happen. It's not like that can't ever happen. I don't know. It's weird. It's like it's inconveniencing me. All of this is inconveniencing me and my marriage and my feelings. And it's like, should it happen forever? Like no. Should it happen all the time? Like no. But happens like maybe two, three times a year. She's like, oh, this again. Yeah. If this was like, if this was like, she's buying a vacation and then she's like, it's a week away. And if you don't go, I'm throwing myself off of a bridge. Like, okay, now we're in serious like, dude, this is insane. Waters that we're swimming in and this needs change. You can't be like emotionally traumatizing us because we don't wanna go on a vacation. We have a week's notice to prepare for. That's not what's happening. Yeah, no. I feel like she's being accommodating. She's just not asking for days, which she should. You know, you think that that's like common sense and whatnot, but maybe she's just like, well, you know, I tried to work around everyone's schedules and this seemed like it would work for everyone. You know, I took in mind your maternity leave and I took in mind, you know, like this person's schedule, whatever, blah, blah. And so we're going on these dates, you know? Like it's not like she's just blatantly just being like, here's the dates and we're going. I don't care about anything. Everyone has to drop what they're doing and go. It just doesn't seem like it's that big of a deal. It really doesn't. Anyway, OP on her mother-in-law wanting to celebrate her work anniversary with the family instead of her employment, OP says, this is exactly it. She feels unacknowledged at work and wants to celebrate this milestone. Weird, but nothing wrong with celebrating it as long as you aren't forcing other people to participate. She's not. There's not even a place to acknowledge that if you can't understand why she'd wanna be like, yay, my life's going good. Let me celebrate with my sons. Seems like a normal request and a normal thing that people wanna do, especially since, you know, her husband has passed, she very much wants to be in her family's lives. That makes sense. So why are you making, like, you were making it such a big deal. She's gonna spend time with her family, you know, because she realized now that life is short and blah, blah, and now she's like, I really wanna spend time with my family. Sorry. Anyway, fourth commenter says, so your husband is the eldest son, yet his brother is the one that has to make the phone call to mom. Yeah, your husband needs to grow a spine already. OP says, since he's the eldest, he took on the caretaker role for his mother, while the younger brother is still her baby. OP clarifies the maternity leave and her baby's current age. If the math is confusing you, long story short, but we also had two months medical leave after the baby was born, extremely premature. So baby will actually be 14 plus months at the end of my 12 month maternity leave. What happens when OP talks with her husband about her feelings and thoughts? OP says, he gets defensive and disagrees and tells me I'm being selfish and I'm not wanting to go when his mom is all by herself and wants to celebrate this career milestone with her family. He tells me my family can also be annoying, of course, every family can be, and reminds me they won't be around forever and we want our child to have a relationship with grandparents, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And that is the end of that story. Yeah, he makes every valid point that you can make. I know, I agree with husband. Yeah, I agree with him. I think you're being petty. I agree. I don't know, there's something in your own family that is probably made you this way, but I didn't see anything in what you wrote about your mother-in-law's behavior that would warrant this, I don't know, like I'm making my stand now. If you would have just emphasized more like, yeah, I'm gonna have a whole baby. I don't know if I'm gonna be able or down to do this. I don't know if I'm gonna be down to drive six hours with my baby in the car to go to this place. And I don't know, I have no idea, but it wasn't really that. It was more like, how dare she? Yeah. How dare she do this, this selfish woman who was hoarding her sons to herself. God forbid she wants to, I don't know, celebrate an accomplishment in her life with the only family she has left. Literally, God forbid. Yeah, well, if God doesn't, I will, because I'm not going. I'm not on your train, bro, I'm not, I'm not on it. I'm not either. Okay, I think you're just very petty and just, you know, if you don't wanna do it, then say something. That's all, say something. Stop hiding behind your husband. You know, you don't wanna be the bad guy and I'm on my train and blah, blah, blah. I'm honestly, I don't feel bad for you, OP. I don't. So I think that you need to stand up to your mother-in-law because hiding behind everyone isn't helping and isn't doing anything. And subtly mentioning it isn't working either. So just say what you mean. Needs to be explicitly mentioned. Yeah. And you know, you should be like, hey, don't know if this time's gonna work out. We do wanna celebrate you though with you. Let's find a place maybe that's more in the middle for everyone so we don't have to drive so much. Maybe we'll find a place, you know. It makes sense when you say you've done this only subtly that she's gonna keep doing it. Cause it's like, if you plan a surprise trip for someone, you're not gonna tell them what it is because it's a surprise, it's a gift. So you need to make it very clear. Stop surprising us with this. We need the dates and it's okay. We can pretend like we're surprised, okay? But work with us. It just comes down to clear communication and there is none. Yeah. And that is the end of that story. We've got another one coming right up. Wow, here it comes. Pichow. Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fashion host here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. Addiction is a disease and it should be looked upon as any other disease. How did you cope with a reckless father like me? Join me, Pooja Bhatt, as I sit down every week with directors, actors, musicians, technicians, and beyond. You don't need to work with the biggest people and the biggest sound to have great music. I have gone through the Saab Siddhi Khachakar, reached the pinnacle, stung by the snake and I've fallen down again. Yeah. I am not writing actively anymore and when I see my old work, it kind of saddens me. I'm only as good as the last shot that I gave. Mom's gone, but don't shut the theater. The show must go on. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhatt Show on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. My mother-in-law decorated my house without my permission, so I did the same. Yes, I decorated it like a stinky little hovel. So my fiance, 30 Male, and I, 28 Female, recently bought our first home together. We're super excited and while it's nothing huge or fancy, it's ours and we've been having a blast picking out furniture and decor that reflects our personalities. The issue is mother. No! By the way, this comes from Go The Rose and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit, I'm Savannah. I'm Dakota. And we are here to give some good advice googly. But our little brains don't have all the answers. We want to know what you and your big brains would do in this situation. So tell us in the comments. As Oppi says, now I don't want to be that person who immediately beefs with their mother-in-law. But y'all, she acts like she bought the house. The day we got the keys, she showed up with a measuring tape and a Pinterest board. Funny. She kept saying things like, well, this wall would be perfect for a farmhouse sign. So specific. Oh yes. This wall is the farmer wall for sure. I mean, for certain. Yes, the farmer, the farm can go here and, maybe, maybe add the animals, the farm animals can go to the side. Do a farm over here and we'll do under the sea over here. And maybe a cottage in the back. Yes. Cottagecore. This is volcano. This is the volcano wall. And I'll bring you some curtains I have in storage. They're beige. Everyone loves beige. Everyone. For the record, I do not love beige. I told her nicely that I had a style in mind. Think boho meets a little goth. Ew. A boho meets a little goth? Like bohemian. Like a little goth person? It's like bohemian, but like instead of like the earthy tones, it's more like darker tones. I don't know. Not my style, but... Dirty. Dirty. She looked like I told her I was opening a portal to heck in the living room. Here's where it gets wild. The next day, she broke into the house. Not like smashing windows, but she used the spare key my fiance gave her for emergencies. She came in while we were both at work and I came home to a live laugh love. Sign above my fireplace. New beige curtains already hung a plastic floral tablecloth with matching chair pads and a rug that smelled like dollar store. Popery and regret. I lost it. Popery and regret. A lovely combination. Dollar store, popery and regret. Even better. Affordable. Affordable, hmm. This is something my mom would do though. Well, we've learned a lot about your mother today. She likes to decorate and she boops a pants. Beyonce said she was just trying to help and that I should be grateful. I told him if she wanted to play decorator, she could do it in her own house, not mine. So here's what I did. I packed up everything she brought and took a trip to the thrift store. I found the ugliest stuff I could find. A velvet clown painting, mismatched leopard print throw pillows, a green lava lamp from 1993, and a coffee table that looks like it came out of a medieval dungeon. I even threw in a giant witch's only store sign. I put everything out the next time she visited. Her face was priceless. She asked, what happened to my things? I said, oh, I thought we were doing surprise decorating visits. I just got inspired. She stormed out and has been calling me disrespectful ever since. My fiance thinks I was being extreme but he finally admitted she crossed a line. I told him the key is getting changed and he agreed. So am I the a-hole for replacing my mother-in-law's decorations with thrifted monstrosities to make the point? And there are some comments. Yeah, I think you're being a little a-holy. I mean, some of that stuff didn't even sound like, I mean, I would like the green lava lamp from 1993 please. Right? I also thought I was like, okay, the lava lamp, cool. I would do that's kinda cool. And a coffee table that looks like from it's a medieval dungeon. How cool would that be? What is it like? How cool would that be? Like, does it have like, I would think it has spikes on it or something. Like chains. It's just got a guy on top of it going. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I hate that coffee table she got. There's a guy getting tormented on top of it. He just doesn't shut up. Oh! Wait, no, wait, wait. I gotta do it in here. Yeah, yeah. Oh! Oh! It's like, oh! Oh! It does sound exactly like it. You just spent money just to like prove a point of being like, oh look, and then what are you gonna do? You're just gonna like throw that stuff away after? I don't know. It's not super egregious, but like. Like why didn't you just actually do it how you wanted to do it? It feels like an escalation instead of like figuring out how to get the solution of like, all right, we just want her to stop. Yeah, it's like, if I just do. And then things to be okay. If I just go to the extreme and do exactly what she did, but like really obviously not in a grudge with anything anyone wants, I think the problem will be solved. So I think you are a little petty a-hole. But she also shouldn't just be able to walk into your apartment whenever she wants. That's crazy. Yeah, that's also just not cool. But that's also on you guys. You know how many people besides me and Keon have keys to our apartment? None. None? No one else can walk in. There you go. And there you have it folks. Solved it. There are some comments. Comment number one, not the a-hole. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. She crossed a major boundary and broke your trust by using an emergency key to enter your home without permission to decorate. She does not deserve an emergency key again. Your reaction was petty, not extreme. Agreed. Extreme would have been calling the police to report her for breaking into your home or getting even by decorating her home with your thrift store finds. Your fiance should appreciate that redecorating your own home was the most extreme thing you did. Comment number two, if your husband doesn't back you 100% on the decoration of your mutual home, then you have a husband problem, more than a mother-in-law problem. Why he didn't read his mother, the riot act immediately is a big red flag. What is the riot act? I'm on it. Let me see. Because you know what? It's just crazy. No one's reading their parent the riot act. If you didn't read your parents the riot act, what are you doing? The riot act was passed in Great Britain to curb public disorder. Officials read a proclamation and if the crowd does not disperse within an hour, they were guilty of a felony and could be forcefully dispersed. Yeah, okay. So they're just trying to say like, tell your mom to get out of there. If you don't disperse within an hour, we're gonna call the police. We're gonna be the police. Right, riot act. That is the case. I don't think you did anything wrong. I think you're just petty, but you know, you have a reason to be. She came into your home and that's not cool. It seems entertaining. And I think that lava lamp was cooler than you're giving it credit for. I have a lava lamp and it's great. It's yellow, sunflower, it's really cool. I turn it on sometimes. You can't be like mystified when it's like, your partner isn't super enthused about you going out of your way to annoy his mom, which in turn will probably make her even more annoying than she already is. And then have to hear her complain about you to him. Right, it's not a mystery why he'd be like, I'm not a fan of that. You kind of, you put him in a really weird position. Comment number three is downvoted. I mean, she was just trying to help a young couple save some money and do something nice for you. I wouldn't have taken it so personally. I also wouldn't retaliate with ugly, cheaper decor. You are not wrong for wanting an opinion on how to decorate your home. You have a right to feel disappointed she wasn't hearing your wishes, but the response was immature, agreed. I assume either of you can't use your words to explain to people how you feel or are afraid of confrontation. I would have to agree with that comment or 100%. I think the way that you did it was immature, but you know, and then you put your husband in a weird position, but she also did. So you know, it's whatever. You made a kind gesture into an attack. It made her feel unappreciated. She was just excited and wanted to help her son and soon to be daughter-in-law. This type of behavior will only cause waves for you later. If you ever do need help, how you made her feel may dictate her future investments. That's also true. Yeah, cause now you just left a bad taster in her mouth when you could have just been like, hey, remember when I said I didn't want these? Thank you so much. I appreciate all the help, but we got this. Thanks. That could have been your response. Both parties have faults and either is correct. Both should apologize. You need to build on a new relationship founded on honesty and mutual respect for the sake of your husband and future family. I'd have to agree with that. I don't know why this was downvoted, but I agree 100%. Update. Here we go. Hi again, chaos lovers. Last time I posted, I told you all about how my future mother-in-law broke into our house, decorated it, and I responded by replacing everything with the worst thrift store finds I could scav it. Well, buckle up, because things got so much worse and so much funnier. Oh boy. So after the great home decor war, my fiance, still hanging on by a thread, finally agreed to change the locks. Mother-in-law was livid and started telling people I was manipulative and tearing the family apart, which, fine, whatever, let her talk. Just the other day, my fiance and I were hosting a little barbecue for some friends. I was inside getting drinks when I saw Mother-in-law's name pop up on his phone. Again, I'll admit it, I peaked. I had a reason to be suspicious. She had been blowing him up constantly and being weirdly secretive lately. And that's when I saw it, a photo, not from Mother-in-law, but two Mother-in-law, of a very familiar shirtless man in a hotel mirror. Oh, I clicked the thread. Turns out Mother-in-law wasn't just obsessing over her son's wedding, she was covering for him. The two of them had been coordinating his affair with some random woman who we will call Tessa with the Tesla, which, by the way, barf. What? Right? What? Yeah, I was like, wait, this was just about decor in the house. And now it's about a whole family falling apart. His mom is helping him cheat on you? That's crazy. What? Yeah. Oh my god. I read that and was like, wait, we gotta get his. You need to break the lava lamp, break the lava lamp open, and cover her in the lava lamp juice. Yeah, put it on her eyes. I will, yeah. Blinder for life. Chemical blindness. Chemically blind her. Eye froze. I'm sorry, just chemically blind her. Chemically blind her. You look like someone who would be able to chemically blind someone today. I do. I look like a mad scientist. Give me one chemical. Hydrogen. Not a chemical, that's an element. Chlorox. OK, I guess that's technically a chemical. It's a chemical. Ammonium. OK, ammonium. Ammonium? Ammonium. Ammonia. Ammonia. Ammonium. Ammonia? Sorry, not ammonia. Ammonia. Oh, ammonium. It's like aluminum and ammonia. Just got, uh, um. Uh, uh. Mother-in-law had been helping him lie to me, texting him things like, I'll tell OP you're with me. And don't forget to delete your location. That's crazy. He's absurd. What is wrong with her? This is insane. What? You're condoning this and you're his mother? Yeah, she clearly doesn't want him to be married to her. Wow. Like, just get a divorce. Don't help him cover up in a fair. That's crazy. Insanity. The woman had literally been his alibi multiple times while he was off playing pretend bachelor with Tesla-Tessa. I took pictures. Every single message. What are we thinking now? I'm thinking divorce. And now she gets to decorate the house how she wants. This level of traitorous behavior deserves some sort of righteous retribution. I'm not sure exactly how I'd go about it, but I'd be wanting to take them for a ride. Off a cliff. I'm not sure. Take them into the back alley. No, no, more in like a, I want them to somehow be responsible for all of your debts while you somehow claim all of their assets. Legally. Yeah. I don't know how that happens, you know. Oh, now here's where it gets spicy. Uh-oh. At our next family dinner, aka the Passive Aggressive Olympics, I casually connected my phone to the living room TV. I said I had some pictures from the barbecue to show. But oops, I accidentally opened a folder that was of the screenshots. Oopsie-daisy. Oopsie-poopsie. Complete silence. Mother-in-law dropped her wine glass. My fiance looked like he'd been hit by a bus. I just sat back and said, oops, guess I'm good at decorating and digging. Wow, needless to say, I'm no longer engaged. Fiance tried to call me dramatic, but he's now living in his mom's beige nightmare and sleeping on her floral couch. So I think I won. Wow. So Reddit, was I still the A-hole or was I just an interior designer of fate? Wow. Yeah. What a plot twist. Yeah, to be clear, I never really thought you were being the A-hole. It was just more like, yeah, this is going to make things probably worse over time. She's going to be more annoyed. But turns out you didn't need to worry about who you were bothering because, what? She was conspiring to ruin your relationship the whole time. Yeah. So she would probably spin that to be like, I was actually trying to make your marriage better because I was getting him to get the cheating out of his system early because you know how that is. You know, every single man on earth is a cheater and they all cheat on you no matter what. So I was just trying to get it out of the way early. Before he actually had the vowels and said all those lovely things about each other. And like we're actually becoming one. I thought, you know, maybe I'd do you a favor, let him go do his little thing while you're engaged still. And then when he's ready, you guys can marry, you know? Do a little thing. Do a little thing. Make a little thing. Get down on the thing. Get down on the thing. Yeah, we've got some comments to read. These are comments from the video. My teen daughter has a large amount of money hidden. So I confronted her about it. And it was posted on January 14th, 2026. Here's the TLDR for the story. Opie grew up with her parents and their girlfriend, Rose, all in a relationship together. When Opie's fiance met his parents, he told them Rose was just her aunt. Who lived with them to save money instead of the truth. At Thanksgiving dinner, his parents figured out the real situation and got super uncomfortable. Turns out the fiance had been lying to everyone for two and a half years because he didn't know how to tell his parents the truth. Now, Opie is questioning if she can trust him and marry him after he lied for so long. If you're curious to know the full story, you can go watch the full episode. OK, and we have some comments here. First comment from WabiSabiNZ says, the problem with this is that when it did come up, he was 100 percent responsible for coming clean about the lie right then because all of the problems could have been avoided if he just told the truth at that moment. That's by far the worst part. I could have forgiven the first lie and I probably could have forgiven him for not having the guts to tell me that he couldn't tell his parents, although this is far worse than the original lie. Because if you can't be honest with a partner, then you're going to have an extremely hard time in any relationship. No trust and no accountability for his mistakes and not enough self-awareness to even know that it was 100 percent his fault. He needed his parents to tell him. He will avoid accountability for everything and will blame anyone but himself. That's not relationship material. OK. A comment too from StarBlooded says, actually nothing wrong with the start of the Pauly story, though. Like, of course, Rose was there for Opie's hard times growing up and helped teach them to ride their bike, etc. But she's basically an extra parent. You'll talk about how most attempts at Pauly relationships don't go well, but that's a normal, healthy one. They're a family. Non-monogamy isn't just a couple swinging to a bunch of new partners, which is also totally OK. Likewise, just needs to be done healthily and right. That man said, can't imagine keeping up a lie like that for two years. Just say you're really anxious to tell them. Opie is aware it's a touchy topic and could have done it himself. And like an aunt, why did you expect when they kissed casually like partners do? Yeah, and our last comment from J-Wolf. In my experience, aunt is for family, auntie is for extended family and friends. In my experience. But that is the end of those comments and the end of this episode. So if you love us, make sure to subscribe. And we love you. And see you tomorrow. No gloss, no filter. Just stories. Spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachow on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.